That Recovery In Full

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly. 

Thousands of Westminster wags read the Guidogram every week, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. 

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

Mad Al’s Scottish Power Trip

Guido was wondering how long it would take for Alastair Campbell’s outside interests to crop up now he is back helping out Miliband. Turns out just a few hours. Labour have wasted no time sticking the boot into Scottish Power after they put up energy prices by 8.6% this afternoon. Who does Scottish Power’s PR? That would be Mad Al’s very own Portland Communications. Cosy…

Loony LibDem Councillor Guilty of Bombing Campaign

Readers will remember the case of John Larsen, the LibDem councillor charged with being responsible for a series of bombs that had blown up cars and damaged homes in his town. Larsen himself condemned the bomber:

“Everyone is jittery, checking their cars. It’s driving people round the bend. You just don’t know when or where it’s going to happen next and that’s why people are so frightened.”

But today a jury found him guilty of three counts of arson, one of causing an explosion likely to endanger life and another of possessing explosives with intent to endanger life, including blowing up a Land Rover. Another LibDem going down…

PHOTO: Godfrey Bloom Motorboating Stripper

A classic from Godders’ autobiography.

“My stag night with the compulsory stripper, a drunken night at Rules, London. I appear to have the munchies. My brother-in-law in the background awaits his turn.”

Why not.

Via @asabenn.

WATCH: The Way We Do Things in the European Parliament

A typical day in the European Parliament as MEPs get ready for a vote. But there is a problem. One MEP stands up and explains that the room has no idea what it is voting on, as they haven’t yet been given a chance to read the alterations to the amendments about to be passed. The response?

“This is the way we do things here.”

Of course it is.

Nick Clegg’s Day to Forget

Nick Clegg is having a bit of a shocker today. Call Clegg went as badly as ever, with Nick Ferrari listing unqualified teachers from the LibDem leader’s own school days.

“But you were taught by people who didn’t have these qualifications? Mr Cogan your English teacher? Do you remember Mr Cogan? A former Royal Marine. He didn’t have this relevant piece of paper. A gentleman called David Cook. I don’t know if you remember Mr Cook. Mr Cook studied history. He was at Westminster, he as in charge of tuition into Oxford and Cambridge. He didn’t have the piece paper. Theo Zinn who was a classics teacher, do you remember Mr Zinn at your school? Remember Mr Zinn, fantastic classics teacher who often would ignore the books on the A level curriculum if there were ones he thought were better for the pupils.”

Which was pretty awkward. Next up was Clegg’s speech on free schools. Where he invited ridicule by deviating from his chosen subject and confessing he doesn’t think his mobile phone is being tapped by a foreign power, a la Merkel. Well obviously.

Best left to Lord Sugar to sum up Clegg’s week:

To which Clegg hit back this morning:

“He’s slightly thin-skinned. He drives around in this great big Bentley on primetime television, he wafts around the House of Lords in ermine, and then he seems to be very offended when I point out that he has got a bob or two. I don’t see why someone like him should be entitled to a winter fuel payment. No doubt, having said that, I will get another torrent of classic Sugar tweet-abuse this morning.”

Going well then…

How Philip Schofield Spent Two Hours Googling PM Paedo List
Ofcom Uphold Complaints Against BBC and ITV

Ofcom has upheld complaints made by Tory MP Rob Wilson against the BBC and ITV over Lord McAlpine. Here are their findings on just how Philip Schofield came to flash the names of alleged ‘political paedophiles’ at the camera live on air during an interview with the PM:

“A brief search on Google revealed various articles, blogs and posts repeatedly naming a number of senior political figures alleged to have been connected with child abuse. ITV said that Mr Schofield had spent approximately two hours reading this material. Mr Schofield formulated the idea, in the context of discussing the prospect of an overarching inquiry into the various child abuse scandals, of handing the Prime Minister a list of the individuals that he had repeatedly seen named online, to illustrate the fact that there was widespread speculation on the internet about these individuals, and to ask the Prime Minister for his view about it.”

Costing ITV £125,000.

Rob Wilson is meanwhile twisting the knife into the BBC, telling Guido:

“The BBC has shown itself to be utterly two-faced. While being fulsomely apologetic in public and paying off Lord McAlpine with licence fee payers’ money, behind the scenes the BBC has been fighting tooth and nail against the charges that it breached the relevant broadcasting rules. If the BBC had its way, it would be completely open to broadcasters to smear individuals in the same way in future.”

Well quite…

Labour MEP’s Fake Q&A Session

Meet Linda McAvan, Labour MEP for Yorkshire and The Humber. She is currently in charge of attempts to push through medicinal regulation of e-cigarettes through the European Parliament. Showing just what a bastion of democracy the European Parliament is, Linda […]

+ READ MORE +

Confirmed: Mad Al is Back

Alastair Campbell tells Total Politics he will help Labour in the run up to 2015, admitting he advised Miliband on his conference speech and fight with the Mail.

“Yeah, probably, but I don’t know to what extent or how.

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

FT leader on Labour’s “Jewish problem”:

“If Mr Corbyn had serious aspirations to leadership he would tackle this problem head-on. Instead it falls to Labour’s moderates to ask themselves how long they will tolerate this state of affairs. Edmund Burke wrote that “the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”. Labour’s inaction over anti-Semitism is a stigma that must now be erased by the good people in its ranks.”

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