October 23rd, 2013

PMQs SKETCH: No More Ladies’ Tennis

What very different reactions to PMQs. Some scored it all Miliband’s way, I gave it half and half, sophisticated pollsters registered everything in between and at either end.

It was, we can agree, less like the Ladies’ tennis we’ve been seeing lately.

Shouty Dave? Perhaps – but then the Speaker organises it that way by letting Labour barrack more loudly. Clever Ed’s cunning questions? Possibly – but there’s still no getting past the comedy teeth and the looming lips.

Ed claimed a consensus on the need to recoup cash from energy company profits – his price freeze or John Major’s windfall tax. John Major who had won a majority, unlike the prime minister. Laughter. Labour resurgent.

Cameron bounced back with his own plan – he was going to scrap green levies. Roaring Tories. Labour jeers. Wasp-swallowing from the Lib Dem leaders. And as for John Major – yes, he did win a majority against a weak and ridiculous leader. Labour spirits slump at the memory, or the possibly at the prospect.

But Miliband was reacting to the argument, and not getting lost in the maul. “I’ll tell you what’s weak,” he went. And “When I was energy secretary bills went down!” And a variation on out-of-touch – “Ordinary people who he will never meet”. Cameron might have said, “that should be ‘whom’, I think, shouldn’t it?” And nor did he say, “See YOU in a working men’s club!”

He did find himself saying that people must be helped to pay their energy bills (that really was weak), but was able to brandish Labour’s briefing to backbenchers on their Leader’s price freeze. “What will stop energy companies putting their prices up again when the freeze finishes?” The public, apparently, taking a dim view of it.

Cameron called the price freeze the work of “a conman”. The Speaker intervened eventually and ruled it unparliamentary. As opposed to “Liar” – a term he took some pains and preparation last year to allow.

Organising opinions are drifting up through the Price Freeze facts. The green levies don’t add up to much, and most of them were passed by the Coalition.

On the other hand, the Big Six situation was created by Labour through their instinctual aversion to and ignorance of competitive markets.

The Labour downside: a prospect of Ed’s price freeze ramps up prices before the election and makes them look even less competent. The Tory flaw: the popularity of bashing big companies makes Cameron act like a leftie.

Maybe it’s like the Iran-Iraq war wherein both sides lose.

NB: a Zero-hours claim. There are the same number of zero-hour contracts now as in the year 2000. But they increased by 75 per cent in the last half of Labour’s reign.


  1. 1
    It is I, LeClerc says:

    Bercow is such a pompous, self-important shit.

  2. 2
    Peter Grimes says:

    And MilipedMinor can’t even see that he is at least as privileged as Cammy, not least in behaviour such as having undone his commie father’s will to avoid tax.

  3. 3
    Sally Bercow says:

    I hope we can all learn a lesson from what an ignorant, self-important, drunken old slapper I am.

  4. 4
    Ed (con-man) Miliband says:

    I am in the ascendency, not bad for a Stilton quaffing piece of plasticine eh?

  5. 5
    Gloria de Piero says:

    Vote UKIP

  6. 6
    Nick Robinson has a back catalogue of PMQ's to wank over says:

    Whoever wins at PMQ’s,the public loses.

  7. 7
    Let's be honest says:

    The chances of any of this lot doing anything to reduce energy bills are between nil and zero.

  8. 8
    nellnewman says:

    I see the union has finally done in the jobs of its workers at Grangemouth.

    Was that UNITE by any chance? The flavour of things to come if labour get into no10 in 2015!

  9. 9
    UKIP or bust says:

    “Labour barrack more loudly”

    You are right there, not only do they bray loudly and continually when Cameron is speaking; the Tories are often silent when pluggy Ed is speaking, yet the stunted cuckold dwarf does nothing about it.

  10. 10

    Shouldn’t this leaky, foul smelling, gas-producing plant on the side of the Thames be shut down?

    It would save us losing billions of pounds every month.

  11. 11
    Jimmy says:

    “Some scored it all Miliband’s way, I gave it half and half”

    Wow. Spoonface must have been bad.

  12. 12
    Ed McCluskey says:

    Of course it was Unite. My members have a right to not have jobs and I will work tirelessly to see they don’t have them.

  13. 13
    René Artois says:


  14. 14

    Nice sketch, Mr. Carr. I at least am definitely warming to you.

  15. 15
    Mitch says:

    When the utitlities were privatised, weren’t we told that it would introduce competition and ultimately reduce bills? What happened to that, then? Wasn’t it true?

  16. 16
    RomaBob..trafficking a kiddie or two! says:

    What do you think about Mrs Bercow ?

  17. 17
    UKIP or bust says:

    They have been doing it for a hundred years Nell, if I remember rightly the family owned cigarette firm Taddy of Myrtle Grove just shut it’s doors on the striking unions and never made another cigarette.

    Didn’t help the poor workers much.

  18. 18
    The Somali solution says:

    Why freeze in winter when you have perfectly good floorboards, fences and furniture to burn?

  19. 19
    RomaBob..trafficking a kiddie or two! says:

    Some say your husband it a little pompous, self important, little shit !

  20. 20
    Georgie Porgie at the christening says:


  21. 21
  22. 22
    It is I, LeClerc says:


  23. 23
    FFS says:

    They didn’t bank on the Labour party making such a hash of running the economy that the £ would fall 25% against the dollar thus putting up energy prices by more-or-less the same amount.

  24. 24
    Bucktoothed UKIP backwoodsman says:

    Vote for UKIP, get Milliband, he has worse teeth than me! Hee haw hee haw, dawgone it

  25. 25
    Corinth says:

    BBC New Channel – Copper being ‘interviewed’ – struggling to answer – and he’s the good guy

  26. 26
    CCHQ half witted Press Officer says:

    “What very different reactions to PMQs. Some scored it all Miliband’s way, I gave it half and half,”

    You grovelling little so and so Guido.

    Were you pissed at the time ?

  27. 27
    Cunning Tory Strategist says:

    We’re just letting you spin out enough rope so we can hang you with it later, you silly little prick.

  28. 28
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    You can only imagine the massive bills we would be getting if we still had a nationalised system on top of the green energy taxes and global prices with greedy unions holding the country to ransom every winter.

  29. 29
    Conman the vegetarian says:

    Unite getting the boys a pay deal at the refinery…Double pay all round lads!…

    oh bugger..plant’s closed..uncompetitive in a global marketplace.

  30. 30
    FFS says:

    Why is Nick Robinson’s opinion more valuable than some bloke down the pub? Sounds about as well informed I’d say.

  31. 31
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    Vote Tory, get Cameron. What a useless piece of shit he is. He can’t even win an argument against the tosser who introduced the green energy taxes that have put up energy bills so much.

  32. 32
    Sally Bercow says:

    Yes, but he’s also rich and he knows to do what he’s told or he spends the night in the dog kennel. Now, are you really a Roma? I’ve never shagged a Roma.

  33. 33
    René Artois says:

    D’accord mais je voudrais lui donner un.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    It is better to use your neighbours.

    But you are learning fast how this country will fall. Uncontrolled loss of businesses, and uncontrolled immigration.

    Just because people are off benefits, they do not expect stop taking.

  35. 35
    Oy Vey Maria says:

    U.S. Stocks Drop After 5-Day Rally on dire performance by Prime Minister David Cameron at PMQ’s.

  36. 36
    FFS says:

    Experience has shown that Ed is at his best when he’s saying nothing. Thus it is in the Tories best interest to keep quite while the sad little prick is opening his plasticine gob.

  37. 37
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    What beats me is why these two useless tossers, Cam and Ed, could not see that these green energy taxes would put prices up so much.

    Just how stupid are the Liblabconts?

  38. 38
    N. Treprenuer says:

    Lost interest. Buggered off to Monaco some time ago. Fed up with finding that even the posher parts of Blighty are filled with East European oiks that seem to think I owe them a living.

  39. 39
    DWWolds says:

    As well as Milliminor’s comedy teeth and loopy lips, what about the brain that has gone walk-about?

  40. 40
    Bucktoothed UKIP backwoodsman says:

    Ahm all for them golf club heart attacks in waiting brother, let’s vote for that Ed Farage guy together. Hee haw hee haw

  41. 41
    The BBC always reports, "The Government has...Labour said..." says:

    Ed ‘One Prick Pony’ Millibandwagon!

  42. 42
    FFS says:

    Not only that the pillock insisted on fighting back from a battle-ground of Milliwatts choosing. He should have pointed out all the cost-of-living increases that have been caused by Labour’s ruinous economic policies.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    So a single critical source supplier, for a potential new country, walks away.

    Scotland is not viable.

    This is for you to sort. Yes you. You are the PM. It is for you to challenge the company to continue, or take it from them. Give it to another operator. Do you care for Scotland?

    Prove it to the Scottish.

  44. 44
    FFS says:

    Marxism is a belief system and just like most belief systems its most vociferous proponents are its biggest sinners.

  45. 45
    hang on a min says:

    I don’t remember Labour re-nationalising anything during the
    13 years they were in power.
    Far from it- they even handed over billions to the bankers they
    now claim to despise and knighted Sir Fred.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:


  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Perhaps Miliband could have a word with his
    backer- Unite leader Lenin McCluskey.

  48. 48
    Godfrey Bloomers says:

    Cracking set of norks

  49. 49
    Mong Watch says:

    And the poor mongs who may vote for more of the same in 2015.

  50. 50
    MB. says:

    There is never any spontaneity to ‘Clever Ed’s’ questions, they are always very laboured (sorry about the pun) and obviously been written for him.

  51. 51
    Vlad the Impaler says:

    Excellent I have 1,000,000 fellow countrymen waiting to take their place

  52. 52
    essex man says:

    Well he is a graduate of a 3rd-rate Uni, so probably has a small chip on his small shoulders

  53. 53
    Toggla says:

    British energy prices are very cheap compared to other countries in Europe. The French get cheap leccy because they have lots of nuclear but as a whole British bills are amongst the lowest in Europe.

  54. 54
    Longshanks says:

    Hang on a min – I seem to recall them nationalising some huge losses of Scottish Banks

  55. 55
    Lord Duckhouse of Pondlife says:

    Yes, the land of milk and honey that we inhabited when we had nationalised industries. When I had a phone installed in 1974 you had a choice – you got it from the General Post Office or you did without.

    I applied for it in January and it was installed in April; in the Budget of the following year, Denis Healy raised the charges by about 60% – somewhat above the inflation rate of that year, which was almost 27%. Halcyon days indeed.

  56. 56
    Lord Duckhouse of Pondlife says:

    Aren’t you being a little optimistic with those figures?

  57. 57
    History man says:

    I grew up with that (train strikes every year, power cuts, etc.) which is why I will never, ever vote Labour and never have.

  58. 58
    Toggla says:

    All politicians do this. Listen when they’re asked a question, they often reply with “What I’d say is…”

    It sounds like a scripted scenario. If you say X then “what I’d say is Y” etc.

  59. 59
    Picket says:

    Remember Grunwick?

  60. 60
    Casual Observer 4 says:

    The kerfuffle about GCHQ / NSA surveillance may have a more EU / F’rench feel that the Guardian has been willing to admit.


    However, the total number of calls intercepted, is a little higher for NSA than 540m / month. More accurate monthly figures:

    Afghan!stan  : 21.98 bn
    Pak!stan     : 12.76 bn
    !raq         :  7.8  bn
    Saud! Arab!a :  7.8  bn
    !ndia        :  6.28 bn
    Un!ted States:  3    bn
    E'gypt       :  1.9  bn
    !ran         :  1.73 bn
    J'ordan      :  1.6  bn
    G'ermany     :361    mn
    F'rance      : 70.2  mn
    Spa!n        : 61    mn
    !taly        : 46    mn
    N'etherlands :  1.8  mn
    Rest (inc UK): 59.41 bn
    Total        :124.8  bn 

    So what figures for GCHQ, and the as yet unmentioned EU security agencies ?

  61. 61
    her gypsy bit of rough says:

    Amen to that. His trouble is when he is in bed, toe to toe with his love goddess, he has no one to talk to.

  62. 62
    PC 77 says:

    No, he’s not – that’s why he is being grilled\.

  63. 63
    Little Bo Peep says:

    How long is a piece of string?

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:


  65. 65
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Is it 82 operational nuclear power stations? Plus quite a few exports as well.

  66. 66
    HEARDITALL says:

    EDF use their UK profits to subsidise their French customers

  67. 67
    HEARDITALL says:

    It fills we older contributors to this blog with nostalgic longings for days of yore.
    The destruction of the London Docks
    The once world renown marques Rover, Austin, Hillman ,MG etc
    Shipbuilding on the Tyne and Clyde
    All killed by the unions in the 60s ,nothing ever changes .

  68. 68
    David Cameron touched me in my special place says:

    Yep, the train system is so much better now. And energy is so much cheaper too, now the massive benefits of competition have taken effect.


  69. 69
    David Cameron touched me in my special place says:

    That’s because the energy companies are global conglomerates and shaft everybody, regardless of where they live.

  70. 70
    Mark T says:

    EDF has a return on capital of less than 5%. If ‘green’ government makes you invest $5bn on their behalf, then you need an extra $250m of ‘profits’ just to cover the cost of that capital. Sadly politicians (and most others) seem to think that the shareholders’ capital is their to play with and doesn’t require a return. That is of course, theft as is a so called windfall tax. But all in the name of fairness naturally.

  71. 71
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    Moi aussi, Jimmy!

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