October 15th, 2013

PPS Reshuffle: Full List

The reshuffle is finally complete. Here are the changes to government PPS:

David Cameron, Prime Minister: Gavin Williamson
Dominic Grieve, Attorney General: Jessica Lee
David Willetts, Minister of State for Universities: Paul Uppal
Michael Fallon, Minister of State for Energy: Therese Coffey
Lord Green, Minister of State for Trade and Investment: Margot James
Matthew Hancock, Minister of State for Skills : Nicola Blackwood
Grant Shapps, Conservative Party Chairman: Jake Berry
Oliver Letwin, Minister of State for Government Policy: Paul Maynard
Francis Maude, Minister for the Cabinet Office: Stuart Andrew
John Hayes, Minister without Portfolio: Mel Stride
Greg Clark, Minister of State for Cities and the Constitution: David Mowat
Eric Pickles, Secretary of State for Communities a: John Glen/Mike Freer
Baroness Warsi, Senior Minister of State for Faith: Eric Ollerenshaw
Maria Miller, Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport: Mary Macleod
Philip Hammond, Secretary of State for Defence: Penny Mordaunt
Mark Francois, Minister of State for the Armed Forces: Damian Hinds
Owen Paterson, Secretary of State for the  Environment: David Burrowes
Michael Gove, Secretary of State for Education: Ben Gummer
Greg Barker, Minister of State for Climate Change: Laura Sandys
William Hague, Secretary of State for ForeignOffice: Keith Simpson
David Lidington, Minister of State for Europe: Charlie Elphicke
Hugo Swire, Minister of State at the Foreign Office: Richard Graham
Hugh Robertson, Minister of State at the Foreign Office: Simon Kirby
Jeremy Hunt, Secretary of State for Health: Tobias Ellwood/Andrew Jones
Theresa May, Home Secretary: George Hollingbery
Damian Green, Minister of State for Policing: David Rutley
Mark Harper, Minister of State for Immigration: Guy Opperman
Justine Greening, Secretary of State for International Dev: Julian Smith
Alan Duncan, Minister of State for International Dev: Mark Menzies
Chris Grayling, Secretary of State for Justice: Lee Scott
Andrew Lansley, Leader of the House of Commons: John Howell
Lord Hill of Oareford, Leader of the House of Lords: Nigel Adams
Theresa Villiers, Secretary of State for Northern Ireland: Damian Collins
Andrew Robathan, Minister of State for Northern Ireland: Robin Walker
Patrick McLoughlin, Transport: Iain Stewart/Julian Sturdy
George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer: Rob Wilson
Sajid Javid, Financial Secretary to the Treasury: Marcus Jones
IDS, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions: Andrew Selous
Mike Penning, Minister of State for Disabled People: Steve Brine
Esther McVey, Minister of State for Employment: Harriet Baldwin
David Jones, Secretary of State for Wales: Daniel Kawczynski
Ken Clarke, Minister without Portfolio: Ben Wallace

Alun Cairns, Andrea Leadsom, Priti Patel, Chris Skidmore and Nadhim Zahawi have all joined the Number 10 Policy Board.

Via ConHome


  1. 1
    I'm as mad as hell and I ain't going to take it anymore! says:

    Very good David – now please get that lot to sort out this madness!


  2. 2
    Question Time says:

    !8.58 and still no answers


  3. 3
    Juvenalian Precariat says:

    The new improved Recipe?

    So the last lot was rubbish then?

  4. 4
    *yawns* says:


  5. 5
    Read the full transcripts of Jimmy Savile’s 2009 interview with Surrey Police… says:

    *YAWNS* Recycling isn’t particularly interesting.

  6. 6
    Real Conservatives vote UKIP says:

    It’s a pretty pathetic reshuffle if Cameron’s still involved.

  7. 7
    The good old US of A says:

    Now meet the mother of all shutdowns it’s the foodstamp shutdown :)


  8. 8
    Kevin "BroFist" McCloud says:

    Call it “up-cycling” and make a series out of it, then.

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    With nearly 50 members of the Executive, how can they really be held to account by Parliament? They’re a voting bloc in their own right.

  10. 10
    broderick crawford says:


    eric pickles needs two as he always pays for two seats out of necessity
    jeremy hunt needs two to point the nhs in both directions
    patrick mcgloughlin needs two to keep him from veering off the HS 2 track

    Owzat !!!

  11. 11
    Billie Boredom is The Grossest Bumpile, EVER !! says:

    Has we still got the mod-eration contract for Telly-tubby o’Graph gneedo ?

  12. 12
    Guido Fawkes says:

    They don’t need moderators any more, Billie.

  13. 13
    Billie Boredom is The Grossest Bumpile, EVER !! says:

    Yeah i suppose the compu-serve generation has grown up and moved on now. we could try for mumsnet , couldnt we ?

  14. 14
    Joe says:

    Let the zombie apocalypse commence!

  15. 15
    Juvenalian Precariat says:

    We have more Ministers now than we did in WWII. Jobs for the Boys and girls now..

  16. 16
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    That’s a lorra, lorra troughers to rubber-stamp diktats from Brussels!

  17. 17
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Do they use that fucking DisGust?

  18. 18
    Parasitic Chav says:

    I need to speak to the queen urgently. I’ve had my incapacity bennies stopped.

  19. 19
    Billie Boredom is The Grossest Bumpile, EVER !! says:

    Fucked if i know . What re we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ? what are we going to now do ?
    what are we going to now do gneedo ?

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Allegations that Windsor and Maidenhead UKIP will not stand against the Tories

    More desperate propaganda from the Tories who have tried all the scare stories and slurs none of which have worked so this is phase two of operation undermine UKIP well this won’t work either, UKIP are on a roll get used to it and Tory MPs should now find out where their nearest job center is in preparation for the 2015 Election

    Now before the EU elections take place we will see a massive influx of immigrants from Romania and Bulgaria. We must also recognize the fact that the EU elections are run on proportional representation and not FPTP. Coupled with that is the indisputable fact that a huge swathe of the electorate do not believe anything Cameron says. We had the Cast Iron Vow then we had the three-line whip against a referendum. Then he told both Mr Bone and the HOC that we would not get a referendum and now a further promise but only if he gets a majority. Well the public are not stupid and many Tory MPs realize that their days are numbered hence the overtures to UKIP who they have spent years insulting Cameron has blown it big time. Ask yourself this would you lend this man money if he promised to pay it back after the election?

  21. 21
    Guido Fawkes says:

    I might give trolling a go. It didn’t seem to do that fat-fuck Ambridge any harm.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Thank christ we have got UKIP to vote for instead of this bunch ov EU sycophants

  23. 23
    Tory voter says:

    Hmmm. No Lorraine Fullbrook? Has her rising star fizzled?

  24. 24
    Ed Miliband/Butch Dave says:

    Come on Poland!

    Only joking! we’d hardly support a hideously unmiscegenated white christian j*w-hating country, would I!

    That’s why we’ll be supporting vibrantly enriched, soon to be 100% unmiscegenated – except for us Special Ones naturally! – 100% Tribe-owned and controlled England!

  25. 25
    Sir Tim Berners-Lee says:

    Cünting little twat

  26. 26
    No shame in it says:

    Give yourself a name.
    Any name will do.

    Anons always appear suspect. Frightened of holding the views they espouse.

    So pick a name. A letter even. It might help.

  27. 27
    Gordon the coward says:

    Tomorrow is my annual think about attending parliament.

  28. 28
    Poker Face says:

    Obama has decided to play hard ball and unleash the zombie free shit army.

  29. 29
    Lorraine Fullbrook says:

    Only because you stopped thumping my clitoris, Tory voter.

  30. 30
    Sir Humphrey says:

    More non-jobs there than I’ve seen advertised in the Grauniad.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Forthcoming By-Elections
    Get Ready to laugh
    Carlisle City, Dalston
    October 17, 2013
    Neath Port Talbot UA, Sandfields East
    October 17, 2013
    Thurrock UA, Stifford Clays
    October 17, 2013
    Chichester DC, Westbourne
    October 17, 2013
    Luton BC, Barnfield
    October 17, 2013
    Lewes TC, Bridge
    October 17, 2013
    More fun in store for next Thursday as the Tories go into denial over the UKIP rise
    The Panic is setting in big time

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Most of them are ridiculous and irrelevant.

  33. 33
    What a fucking mess. I remember when people were taught to check their work. says:

    “David Cameron, Prime Minister: Gavin Williamson
    Dominic Grieve, Attorney General: Jessica Lee
    David Willetts,”

    So David Cameron is the PM, or is it Gavin Williamson and Dominic Grieve? And the Attorney General is Jessica Lee and David Willets?

  34. 34
    Hugh Guv says:

    Indeed it has. She is stepping down at the next election.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    She’s stepping down at the GE.

  36. 36
    Poker Bum says:

    I think you’ll find the right-wingers are reverting to, nancy-boy, type.

  37. 37
    A-Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the useful advice.

  38. 38
    Screwed Taxpayer having to fund all these bastards. says:

    Why are so many of these expensive fuckers and their Ministers needed?

    Sack 50% and no one would notice.

    They are all LibLabConner career politicians.

  39. 39
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:


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     | |~~~~~~~~|   ;|    ||`-._`-._ |         *##      ##*            ##*
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    £££££££                                      \=\>-------</=/
  40. 40
    Stanislav says:

    Good start for Poland. Home crowd advantage helping them.

  41. 41
    Possibly says:


  42. 42
    David Cameron Is A Cunt says:

    Clearly now a Government overrun with self serving incompetents and fifth columnist Muslims.

    Mind you having Warsi and Ollerenshaw in one building, not to mention Miller and Macleod sharing another building, does provide an excellent opportunity for a well targeted smart bomb like the ones used in Iraq.

  43. 43
    In my day says:

    An anonymous

  44. 44
    Mental M'edhi says:

    Don’t forget about the dog breathed, mongoloid, mutha-fucking Daily Mail ?

  45. 45
    US Watch says:

    This is just a political gambit, but if people take this literally there may be problems.

    All of a sudden, the logic of private gun ownership should become very clear.

    If this happened in the UK, the government would be loading trains with the hungry.

  46. 46
    999 What's your emergency? says:

    Ambulance service “code brown” is when you are so pissed you shit your own pants

  47. 47
    Lets all live a lie for a leeching abusive criminal fucked up piece of genetic garbage! says:

    Oh magic. Most of them are leeching hoons!

  48. 48
    Uncle Tom Cobbley says:

    No Bill Brewer, no Jan Stewer, nor Peter Davey, nor Gurney. Why is there so much discrimination against the Widdecombe Fair circle? Every other useless hunt seems to have got a job.

  49. 49
    Big Ben says:

    Why on earth do they need so many “ministers” quite a few with no particular job and all those “assistants” I am sure during WW2 Churchill did not have as many “ministers” and the like plus their bag carriers.

  50. 50
    Doris Goldblatt says:

    One in 10 dole claimants is from outside the UK http://dailym.ai/GPqPBq

  51. 51
    The University of Fuck All says:

    Some of them need to JOG ON out of politics. Useless scammers!

  52. 52
    Big Ben says:

    The answer is Φ

  53. 53
    Owen Jones says:

    The solution is not to limit but to throw them out of this country with effective governance which only UKIP can provide.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Q49: Why didn’t you pay for the night creche instead of leaving your kids to fend for themselves?

  55. 55
    Minister of Scumbags says:

    Bureaucracy! Too much of it! Who is Minister of paperclips and Minister for sweet f.a.?

  56. 56
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    Too little. Too late.

  57. 57

    Thought this would happen from the start. We are entering uncharted territory. Anyone still holding stocks or bonds?

  58. 58
    Big Ben says:

    Please, Dave, our beloved leader, has to show he is doing something apart from keep changing his mind, another thing he has arrange the deckchairs in preparation for the big election over the next 19 months, the clock is counting down and Dave has to lead in the opinion polls from now until GE in 19 months time, or he is on a loser and he is the most popular Tory to the electorate, any of the others, no chance.

  59. 59
    Big Ben says:

    Go to bed and no playing around give it a rest tonight

  60. 60

    David Jones has got a big Pole.

  61. 61
    Big Ben says:

    There would not be enough trains

  62. 62
    Big Ben says:

    Yup, why so many, each one sucking on the teat of the tax payer.

  63. 63
  64. 64
    Big Ben says:


  65. 65
    Big Ben says:

    There, that didn’t hurt, did it?

  66. 66
    Plod says:

    Now go and make sure your Labour party subscriptions are up to date and, if you get nicked, we will look more kindly upon you.

    No guarantees, you understand, but anything small can be swept under the carpet – no problems.

    Changes can be made to the charge sheet for a modest donation.

    Vote red from the boys in blue! Evenin’ all!

  67. 67
    Dan'l Whiddon and Harry Hawke says:

    We agree.

  68. 68
    The Mc-Canns says:

    Yes yes, look for a new definitive suspect. Much like the last definitive suspect. You remember, the one who looked like George Harrison.

    Great to see all the channels and papers are covering this new definitive suspect, which should last a good while until the next definitive suspect. Anything to take attention off us.

  69. 69
    Klaus Henchmann says:

    So. BEN WALLACE also a Blackshirt Mosleyite.

    The longer they remain in power the easier it becomes to Black Spot the real Traitors.

    Keep it up Devious Dave….we love it

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Who cares?

  71. 71
    Chuks sounds a bit deflated. Waste of a trip? says:

  72. 72
    If Alan Carr is the answer says:

    What the fuck is the question?

  73. 73
    UKIP or bust says:

    Shows how messed-up things are getting when half the supporters of a forign team are living in the land of the home team, half the ‘home’ team are forigners and half the away team play for home clubs.

    Well not quite but getting that way, and that’s the messed-up part about it man.

  74. 74
    Chuckup all over the trash says:

    Sorry, ment to say got on message with the sell out of (once) Great Britian, but honesty doesn’t come easy for me.

  75. 75
    Doris Goldblatt says:

    Glenn Greenwald Leaving Guardian, Starting New Venture http://tinyurl.com/n933gpl

  76. 76
    Juvenalian Precariat says:

    Some one told me George Osborne likes the Chinese meal, The cream of sum young guy.


  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    The salary.

  78. 78
    Ed Balls,Chancellor Of The Exchequer says:


  79. 79
    albacore says:

    Big Deal. With Cameron playing Big Cheese
    They can shuffle crap as much as they please
    Call a spade a spade. When the chips are down
    We’re more busted now than even with Brown

  80. 80
    Torn Berry says:

    It’s Belgium so he got double fisted

  81. 81
    Purple tie watch says:

    Hugh Edwards News At Ten

  82. 82
    Ploddy liar liar pants on fire says:

    Holy shit
    BBC news at 10 leading on Mitchell and beating crap out of the plod. Holy fuck have I just morphed onto another alternative planet

  83. 83
    Ploddy liar liar pants on fire says:

    Toenails muddying the waters.

  84. 84
    A passing doggerelist says:

    A list that strikes me dumb:
    All I can say is, God rot ’em!
    I have seen better things come
    Out of a dog’s bottom.

  85. 85
    Vote ukip says:

    Get Milliband

  86. 86
    US Watch says:

    It isn’t quite as bad as that, unless other states follow on from Utah.

    But after a number of bad harvests this is to be expected.

    C’anada should be getting nervous now. :-)

  87. 87
    So thats Ok then says:

    Exclusive on Exaro: New police leads in ex cabinet minister p4edoph1le investigation.

    Pleb . Minister did you molest these boys

    Minister No, I had to swat them away like midges.

    Pleb. OK, that’s fine on your way

  88. 88
    Who decides says:

    All we need to know is who makes the decisions, who makes the tea, photocopies and holds on to the diary. Guide F%^& Bogs just regurgitates. Mr Fawkes your homework is to resubmit along lines given.

  89. 89

    Just a bit. But this is going way beyond posturing IMO. There is real bad blood here.

    There are people on both sides who want to hit the N button.

  90. 90
    Enron and the Lehman Bros Debacles says:

    Who cares what the rating agency thinks? These agencies have no credibility.

  91. 91

    Beyond Good or Evil

    Draws to a close.

  92. 92
    Athelstan says:

    It is still worth doing

  93. 93
    treat yourself says:

    Treat yourself to some expenses. Hand in your office and return weekend trips to Edinburgh. No need to meet your under superiors.

  94. 94

    The trough must be bigger than ever, nearly every tory in the house must be a bloody Minister of this, that, or fuck all.

  95. 95
    kitler says:

    So keep voting UKIP until we get the UKIP. Even the EU doesn’t get its way straight away, but it’s strength is in its perseverance. A patient UKIP supporter will eventually be a happy voter.

  96. 96
    Aechmophorus says:

    While that may be very true,
    I have to observe, my friend,
    That Miliband’s motley crew
    Have emerged from its other end.

  97. 97
    M103 says:

    Does Willetts still have two brains?

  98. 98
    Vote ukip says:

    Still get Milliband

  99. 99
    Mail Online comments editor says:

    Your comment has been moderated and replaced with a dozen fabricated comments full of uncritical gushing support for the mc#nts.

  100. 100
    M103 says:

    Tories are pathological liars and this crop have made it an art form

  101. 101
    Tachybaptus says:

    You can be quite certain that any ordinary pleb who abused a police office would have been prosecuted. Mitchell actually admits to committing an offence, but apparently that’s okay. It’s not as if members of this Government, nor their cronies, are answerable to the law of the land.

  102. 102
    Ghost of Duggan. says:

    Great to know that the Beeb ran the story of plods lying in Plebgate as top news story, whereas my killing on the streets of London came sixth.

    So damaging the reputation of a LibLabConner politician is more important.

    What a fucking disgrace.

  103. 103

    “Baroness’ Warsi Senior Minister of state for Faith, what the fuck is that ?
    We now of a ministry of state for moronic medieval superstition ,and a muslim at that.
    What next a ministry for Leprachauns?

  104. 104
    The IMF says:

    But not for long

  105. 105

    It has never been an offence to tell an over mighty jobs worth to FUCK OFF, wether or not he happens to be wearing a plod uniform.

  106. 106
    Stanislav says:

    If he admitted the offence why did the plod need to lie about it?

  107. 107
    Fuck off labour says:

    Weren’t you a convicted drug running criminal?

    Ahhhh..what a loss to society.

  108. 108
    John Barecow says:

    Minister for leprechauns.

    Are you taking the piss?

  109. 109

    If Dave was serious about Deficit reduction he would eliminate this fatuous Ministerial position immediately.

    But the bastard isn’t. So he won’t.

  110. 110
    John Barecow says:

    I love you my labour friend..lets swap phone numbers. Then houses. Then wives.

  111. 111
    And Now for some GOOD NEWS says:

    We’ve got our view back! Delight as four wind turbines in the Yorkshire Dales become the first in Britain to be torn down


  112. 112
    Chrononhotonthologus says:

    Still enjoying your stolen moniker, dear?

  113. 113
    De Menezes says:

    No need to ponce around arresting people, with all that boring paperwork. Just kill the fuckers on the street or in the Tube

  114. 114
    Hello yellow says:

    Saving 0.00000078% of a GDP isn’t worth bothering over is it?

    Scrapping trident or selling the BBC is the only way to make big savings.

    You could axe all MPs and the saving wouldn’t keep the NHS in interpreters for a single day.

  115. 115
    Caroline Mucus says:

    You murdered our planet

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    I am anonymous, that is my point. To be anonymous is a right. To be able to observe democracy, and use the public services and live your life free of carrying any identity papers.

    Then on one special day, identify yourself and vote the idiots out.

    Instead we must identify ourselves and advertise every piece of business we do to the whole world. Every choice we make puts us in jeopardy of some entity publishing or selling our information for their own gain.

    1. Owning a car: Thousands of thugs running car parks can request our data without our knowledge. Do not park repeatedly in the same place.
    2. Owning a boat: The government sells the data. Online site monitors their every move. Others publish time stamped photographs. The EU publishes a list of equipment, and the owners name, online.
    3. Owning a plane: Name address etc. online for the world to see.
    4. Owning a company: Name, data of birth, home address, old addresses are all online for the world to see.
    5. Owning a house: Name, and mortgage company online for all to see. Access, security and back garden contents online for the world to see. Activity monitored by smart meters and stored online.
    6. Owning a mobile: Our very position is accessible online and stored.
    7. Owning a business: They want to record all email contacts so that the our customer and future customer identities are recorded. Valuable information.
    8. If we get ill: Our medical records go on a system accessible by thousands and accessed without our knowledge.
    9. Extending a house: All our personal data is put online for searching along with internal layout.

    Yet if a person is idle, lazy, and demands money and housing from the state, they are anonymous and protected.

    We need to start protecting those that create and spend wealth, and start humiliating those that take wealth.

    Once the wealthy stop spending it here, they will find they do not have to make it here either. One such person just left for his island.

    Wake up. Sack the Information Commissioner now.

  117. 117
    Sally bercowitz says:

    Just because his cock’s gone green, it doesn’t mean my John’s a leprosycorn

  118. 118
    Tescowitz says:

    Every little helps

  119. 119
    Giddyon says:

    Love the hair Caroline. Is it what you call a brazilian?

  120. 120
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

  121. 121
    Stefanny says:

    No. But I’ve had two Eds

  122. 122
    Numbnut Postie. says:

    My free shares are worth £3500 today, but fuck all after I’ve gone on strike.

  123. 123
    Mr Nobody says:

    Ukip have no chance of getting a single seat either in 2015 or 2020.

  124. 124
    Mr Nobody says:

    He’ll be around after 2015 too. Labour have lost ground since they lurched to the hard left.

  125. 125
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    I hate the immigrant bashing, NHS undermining, muslim smearing Tories.

    Can I have a job please?

  126. 126
    Mr Nobody says:

    It’s Miliband who needs a reshuffle, to bring back the centre-left and get rid of the hard left element he has just promoted. Since he lurched to the far left the Tories have made up ground in the polls. Give it a few months and the Tories will have a small lead.

  127. 127


  128. 128
    I loathe the McCunts says:

    Whatever happened to that twat Clarence Mitchell who gave up a career and all credibility to become a spokesman for the vile Mc-Canns?

  129. 129
    Windmills of my mind says:

    Taking them down in one place and putting them out of the way in another, smoke and mirrors, as they say were all at sea.

  130. 130
    Dave and Willybum says:

    You can start as our tea boy tomorrow morning.

  131. 131
    Ex Tory gone to UKIP together with many traditional Labour supporters. says:

    Not under Camercnut they won’t.

  132. 132
    Kate and Gerry Mc-Cann says:

    Please donate to our fund so we can buy another plasma TV like we did with the last batch of donations from the public.

  133. 133
    Shares who cares says:

    They’re already worth fkall to us plebs, the bank will take a bite, the taxman will take a bite, going on strike will jump on them, by the time the 3 years is up you will owe the bank £3500.

  134. 134
    Mail Online comments editor says:

    Yeah you’re probably right, so if it makes you happy I’ll vote Tory.

  135. 135
    Madeleine says:

    He disappeared!

  136. 136
    Judge Dreadful says:

    He did not commit an offense.

    The police however are guilty as sin.

  137. 137
    Mummy says:

    I just know he was abducted, after I fucked off out for a meal.

  138. 138
    A white English boy says:

    I wish I was gay, black and female!

  139. 139
    mad max says:

    He’s setting up ‘religion of peace weekly’ after deciding the Guardian’s ‘peaceful person’ cock sucking was not going far enough.

  140. 140
    kitler says:

    No, scum like Duggan are a disgrace. Every bullet embedded in a feral rubbalipz is my taxation finally manifesting as representation.

  141. 141
    Dave and Willybum says:

    Come and join our modern Tory party

  142. 142
    MB. says:

    Are you allowed to stare at Nick Clegg in England?

    A man has been charged with staring at his equivalent in Scotland.

    Man in court for staring at Nicola Sturgeon


  143. 143
    Judge Dreadful says:

    Is he pleading insanity?

  144. 144
    Aechmophorus says:

    Only Superman can save us now.

  145. 145
    DEFCON 2 says:

    Duck and cover, in coming sheeple revolution!

  146. 146
    Asslick Almond says:

    Staring in utter disbelief ?

  147. 147
    siambbgun says:

    Whatever happened to that twat Clarence Mitchell who gave up a career and all credibility to become a spokesman for the vile Mc-Canns?http://siambbgun.blogspot.com/

  148. 148
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Who, Nick Clegg?

  149. 149
    Sauce for the goose says:

    Is CCTV going to be made illegal in Scotland?

  150. 150
    Juvenalian Precariat says:

    They Lady is for Turning.

  151. 151
    Red riding hoods says:

    Just curious, but why is any of that a problem?

    The underground know where you go if you use an oyster card.
    So what? They aren’t tracking you.

  152. 152
    Calidius Eroticus says:

    Labour are damaged goods propped up by the politically illiterate, feckless and the rabid.

  153. 153
    Harold Finch says:

    They aren’t, necessarily– but Mr Reese and I are.
    We’re looking out for you– the Government isn’t.
    But you make it hard for us, when you go off the grid, like we’ve done.

  154. 154
    US Watch says:

    I don’t think the N button is in scope.

    Meant more an army of hungry US refugees heading north of the border in search of food.

    Security has probably already been stepped up at the borders with M’ichigan for example. The problem for the C’anadian’s is that most US citizens are packing more firepower than the C’anadian army.

    This is a worst case scenario, but whatever happens, this announcement is going to make matters somewhat ugly on the ground.

  155. 155
    Calidius Eroticus says:

    The British public are the only threat to the political class that has existed since 1989. Without a threat from outside they have turned to the threat inside. Given half a chance they would regulate EVERYTHING you do in case you threaten their continued dominance.

    If they had showed even the slightest will to follow the public wishes in the last twenty years they would not be so untrusted now.

  156. 156
    P!ssin' in the wind says:

    National debt was £ 1,102,223,066,883 two minutes ago and increasing by about £1billion every 2 days. So the R. Mail sell-off helps us pay our way for about a week.

  157. 157
    Calidius Eroticus says:

    Take Hart wall of artistic joy for you!

  158. 158
    Calidius Eroticus says:

    I don’t give a toss what the McCann’s do for a living. I am working class from the north of England, and I don’t let my thirteen year old daughter wander the streets when its dark. Which is a pisser for her as the winter months close in. In the long run, while she doesn’t like it and complains her friends get to do what they want, I am trying to ensure she doesn’t turn out like many kids in this city.

    Irregardless of the terrible OFSTED report her school got, the Chav kids who hang around like dogs on heat and the fact she’s a teenager, we are doing our best to ensure she gets a good start in life.

    I know a window cleaner who had all three of his kids taken into care because his toddler son presented at nursery with a bang on his head. It took him two years to get his kids back. No apologies for a family ripped apart at the seams, he is suing them for the thousands upon thousands it has cost him.

    They get a pass and I am supposed to sympathise? Fuck the McCann’s. If I had been the responsible parent for that girl, she would be have been safe.

  159. 159
    Calidius Eroticus says:

    Can you imagine how fucked the McCann’s would have been if they professed to voting UKIP?

  160. 160
    Casual Observer 4 says:

    Isn’t Clarence the Tory candidate for Brighton these days ?

  161. 161
    Casual Observer 4 says:

    It’s fine to do that as long as there is no third party (member of public) who overhears you and is visibly in shock.

    This is why the lack of people outside the gate, contrary to what the officers put on the police report, is so important, and also why the dodgy email sent in was taken seriously.

    One can tell the police to fuck off, or even call them c’unts / plebs, but don’t do it when there is someone nearby they can say looked distressed by your conduct.

    The police should avoid fitting people up when there is CCTV not under their control around.

  162. 162
    albacore says:

    Oh my! But you ain’t seen nothing yet
    White and straight, they’ll take you to the vet
    Give you the snip, then with luck you’ll get
    Injected, tagged and flogged as a pet

  163. 163

    I can see the headline now in the Mirror EURO SCEPTICS TOT KIDNAPPED AS THEY PARTY.

  164. 164
    As Usual says:

    Of course Mr Nobody does not have the courage to wager his assertion. Rather typical torwee / ‘progressive’ lefty behaviour.

  165. 165
    The choice is left, left, left, or UKIP says:

    As opposed to Cameron’s soft left?

  166. 166
    It's a cost saving thought says:

    Perhaps we might just sack them all and put Sandra in Accounts in charge?

  167. 167
    Perhaps her replacement might actually be a conservative? says:

    Given she’s a closet socialist, it will be no loss.

  168. 168
    When all you have is scaremongering, you have already lost says:

    Oddly socialist Dave isn’t as left wing as Ed, however both want to take us to the same ‘progressive’ destination.

    To get us there, they have to ensure they win every election, we on the other hand, only have to win one and we are not going away.

  169. 169
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    “The Foodbank was useless – they gave me ingredients not food, I was s’possed to cook it myself. Who’s paying for my lecky?”

  170. 170
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    Govt. to use homeless and benefits scroungers as insulation in OAP’s lofts, IDS says they must lay in the loft for 35hrs a week

  171. 171
    Tony London says:

    So David Cameron has just shuffled has he?

    Well you can tell the bone idle bastard to get on the phone to the Kenyan in the Whitehouse and tell him we want those seven million pounds in parking fines paid prompt.

    I thought David Cameron was supposed to be fighting for us!

  172. 172
    Billy Manchester says:

    That is nothing pal.

    I have been a council tax payer in Manchester for donkeys years now and have never asked for a rebate.

    I have always been told by my Council (usually at election times) that I am a major shareholder in Manchester Airport which is a profitable and major international business.

    Yesterday I nearly choked on my rice crisps when I saw that George Osborne saying he was in China and was getting the Chinese to invest money into my investment.

    This lot don’t need a shuffle they need a good kick up the arse!

    PS Don’t mention Vince Cable to me. My Royal Mail shares have still to arrived although the money has been taken from my Bank account.

  173. 173
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    Just for the information of some of a few Tory dullards who inhabit here, the chances of my voting UKIP leading to Ed Miliband getting in power are about the same as me going to the moon …. and coming back with an alien. Capiche?

  174. 174
    Jane Birkin fromParis says:

    Here in France Food Banks can be a nice little earner.

    All the top supermarkets actually let charity workers stand outside their supermarkets and ask members of the public to donate items from their trolleys for which they have just paid top price and VAT to the Government.

  175. 175

    I don’t post using that monkier anymore so I am not sure what all the abuse is about.

  176. 176
    UKID DING says:

    You’re talking out of Uranus.

  177. 177
    mystery pensioner says:

    who was the lucky blighter at the bbc to get 150 thousand quid on top of salary for turning up to work ?

  178. 178
    Anonymous says:

    Typical BBC on Radio 5 they played a bit of Cameron defending Mitchell in the HoC but funnily enough didn’t play Red Ed attacking Mitchell.

    Once again the BBC rewrite history to protect their lefty friends,

  179. 179
    Before Abbott acquired her pigeon English says:

  180. 180
    Bob Fleming says:

    Is that the filth who’s funeral I paid for?

  181. 181
    The BBC are cunts says:

    Can’t Incapable Vince privatise the BBC ?

    Even a twerp like he couldn’t get the issue price wrong – ten million shares at 5p each.

  182. 182
    mystery pensioner says:

    I think the Renminbi is to the Yuan as Sterling is to the pound.

  183. 183
    Lord Hutton says:

    May I just take this opportunity to report that following a lengthy, exhaustive and thorough inquiry in which I made full use of public resources, I am happy to confirm that Jimmy Savile was entirely innocent of all wrong-doing and the allegations made against him are wholly false.

  184. 184
    Elsie Hargreaves 5 Railway Terrace Dewsbury says:

    I never liked Jimmy Savile myself.

    I always preferred Pete Murray.

  185. 185

    If I were in Australia, I would go and find myself a Schiller. At least I could spell the name correctly.

    The terms Good and Evil are surprisingly seldom used in φιλοσοφία.

  186. 186
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

  187. 187
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    Man are from Mars, Tory arse-lickers are from planet Mong.

  188. 188

    I was of course talking figuratively but I just sense it is getting ugly anyway. Both sides seem to be saying We don’t care if this does hit us hard in the polls, we are standing our ground

    Actually, when you think about it another way, it is precisely what we tend to accuse our politicians of not doing. Standing up for what they believe to be right.

  189. 189
    The Spineless Prick in Number 10 says:

    Who cares? I love the BBC.

  190. 190
    albacore says:

    Yup, whatever you do, don’t vote UKIP
    Let Dave bumble on on his ego trip
    Just because he’s as much use as a fart
    There ain’t no call to go and break his heart

  191. 191
    Tribes of England not united says:

    We already have the Liebour tribe followed by the Libcrap tribe along with Camorons Conservative tribe now we have the UKIP tribe, no fkin wonder the country is in the mess it’s in with people like you polarising political parties, lay off and let people make up their own minds.

  192. 192
    Whitewash for you says:

    Your delivery is due between 11.42 am and 12.23pm to-day

  193. 193
    Big Ben says:

    The answer to that is, most assuredly, they are frightened that they may have to go into coalition once more, they and their backers will spend money as if there was no tomorrow. Unfortunately Dave is their best bet, remember it is the electorate (at least those who can be bothered to vote) that decide whether the Tories are elected, not members of the Cons. party, any of the others in government, out of their own little clique have a lot of negative baggage and are not very well liked by the electorate. Eh, the next thing we will be hearing the muttering that totalitarianism has its advantages.

  194. 194

    Well it’s bit musical chairs innit? Who gives a toss anyway, apart from the dishons moving around, from one nice little earner, to a bit better earner.

  195. 195
    A taxpaying pleb says:

    350,000 people have been sponging off Foodbanks for food in the UK.

    No wonder the country is in a mess.

  196. 196
    Chief supper intendant Lard of the yard says:

    What the police said to Jimmy Sa-VILE

    “Evenin Jimbo , is the kettle on you old peado ?

    “Come in guys and gals”

    “Jimbo is that bacon i can smell “?

    “Yes , Dip yer Bread”guys and gals
    “Right Jimbo , some more bints have made allegations about yourrrrr , is that Chocolate cake Jimbo ? ,you really are the Man

    Ah fuck it i’m stuffed what DVD’s you got Jimbo we need to kill an hour or two
    we have a shit load of paperwork to alter over that Hillsborough fiasco

  197. 197
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Royal Mail Group down 3% on early trading this morning.

    I blame Cable myself.

  198. 198
    Anonymous says:

    Not if you are a boring idiot.

    Not if you are very rich and everything is owned by anonymous holding companies.

    But if you have something that puts you above the crowd then the ability of criminals to obtain this information is so easy. The theft of property or more importantly a companies IP is very easy. The data is just sitting there waiting to be taken. The US and UK intelligence services have just learned the price of uncontrolled data.

    It should be illegal to store any records not authorised by the person. It should be illegal to store records in a system that has no audit trail of accesses.

    If it does not matter to you, then you are not intending to contribute in a competitive way to this country

  199. 199
    Redcoat says:

    Hmmm….. Canada…..isn’t that somewhere we might feel obliged to protect….?

  200. 200
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Brilliant idea!

  201. 201
    fed-up in britain says:

    all tories are Hunts. LYING Hunts.

  202. 202
    Maurice Lupton says:

    You missed out on your complete list Shailesh Vara who is now in the justice department.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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