October 14th, 2013

Too Many Tweets From Our Tax

David Cameron famously quipped that “too many tweets make a tw*t”, but that hasn’t stopped his government from spending over £100,000 of taxpayers’ money on learning how to use Twitter.

As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun column, the Foreign Office are the worst offenders, forking out £92,594 to send officials on social media courses.

Hashtag wtf?


  1. 1
    Ivor Biggan says:

    yes – WTF?

  2. 2
    All the world says:

    there must be way too much tweeting – cos there are waaaay toooo many tw@s there

  3. 3
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    All the training costs for my Seal Team are paid for by my Union bosses.

  4. 4
    The Joker says:

    Is it April 1st?

  5. 5
    Sally Bercow says:

    I didn’t get to where I am now by being taught how to Twitter

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Ask The President. says:

  8. 8
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    I have never spent a penny on twitter training and it has done me no harm whatsoever.

  9. 9
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    When you were at right wing political blogging college did you know any kids who were gluten intolerant? Course you didn’t. Bloody attention seekers innit.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Seems sensible given the explosion in social media. The irony of a blogger like Guido whining about this obviously lost to him.

  11. 11
    Squeaker Bercow says:

    Ladbrokes: Deputy Speaker of House of Commons odds
    5/4 Laing
    5/2 Streeter
    6 Binley
    8 Burns
    8 Bellingham
    25 Bar

  12. 12
    Billy Vague says:

    How do I download this Grindr app?

  13. 13
    Question1 says:

    Why don’t you fvck off?

  14. 14
    Sir William Waid says:

    Spontaneity needs a lot of practice!

  15. 15
    IDS ipad says:

    Wednesday Thursday Friday ?

  16. 16
    Doris Goldblatt says:

    Today is the anniversary of the Battle of Hastings.

  17. 17
    Laughing at you, not with you says:

    Where you are is nowhere, isn’t it?

  18. 18
    Twatwatch says:

    There’s nothing sensible about it at all. It’s scandalous……a cavalier attitude to public money.

  19. 19
    Centre Parting says:

    Why is Nick Clegg on one of the McCann e-fit photos?

  20. 20
    Elizabeth Bennett says:

    May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?

  21. 21
    Danton. Turning in his headless grave says:

    I have a middle digit that I’d like you to innovate on.
    Innovate and swivel.

  22. 22
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    Well it is the public sector. Why should we be surprised?

  23. 23
    Joss Taskin says:

    Nothing better to do ???

  24. 24
    Nadine Batshit says:

    Wot! It’s a stitch up by the posh boys innit.

  25. 25
    Eric Joystick (Lab) says:

    I’m voting for the bar.

  26. 26
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    How much did they spend on learning how to use a drinks machine?

  27. 27
    Sir William Waid says:

    Of course not. Intolerance is a specialism of the Left.

  28. 28
    Herman Von Rumbellows says:

    I predict long lasting peace with Imperial Germany and the Austro-Hungarian empire.
    But only thanks to the EU.

  29. 29
    @kilkeal says:

    Indicates the educational attainment of FCO employees. Trust they are paid peanuts.

  30. 30
    Owen Jones says:

    Pink gin for me please!

  31. 31
    Ecgfroth of Neasden says:

    If the English had been the bingo kind
    They wouldn’t have had to watch their king go blind
    But some silly Saxon had to shout
    “Cor, arrows! Watch out!”
    When all the time the cry should have been
    “Eyes down, look in!”

  32. 32
    Anne from Cambridge says:

    Dear Herman President Herman.

    Is it possible to get pregnant from a boy with a digital agenda?

  33. 33
    The civil service says:

    Peanuts, canapes, champagne. We scoff it, you pay for it.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    There were always allergies. It was common. The idea back then was that everyone was unique and they just got on with life. In general a persons diet was limited, and any intolerance was eventually overcome. Either by death, by acceptance, or adaptation.

    Now the fashion is to be special, separating them from the idea of the average person. Every kid has to have his special requirements. Food is one of the best ways to impose work on others.

    Today we have such a wide ranging diet, with hideous numbers of ingredients, (natural and artificial) that it is impossible to find the real cause. For example, say a person was allergic to what is now called “olive oil”. They would first suspect it was bread related as the reaction would occur in meals traditionally with bread. Once a person is convinced they will always have a problem as their digestive tract would not be used to eating bread.

    To stop eating a type of food for a long time actually creates a situation that looks like an allergy. Real world travellers (that do not see airports or hotels) know that certain food must be eaten for a while before the “downsides” wear off.

  35. 35
    Partidge Shoot says:

    Not sensible at all. Governments should not be using the Twitter anyway. Most ordinary people do not.

  36. 36
    The general public says:

    No-one had to pay us to learn how to use twitter.

  37. 37
    Vald the Loudhailer says:

    Because he is a Pom Frit.

  38. 38
    Firm But Fair says:

    All public spending should be submitted to a simple test: is this essential?

    Twitter training is not essential. If staff want learn how to use it, make them pay for it.

  39. 39
    Facepalm Pete says:

    Training Twits, more like.


  40. 40
    Well I never says:

  41. 41
    Fitzwilliam Darcy says:

    Y’know, I didn’t used to like you all that much, Lizzie, you and that smart mouth of yours, but you’ve begun to grow on me, like skin cancer…dunno, call it crazy or something…but I’m madly in love…

  42. 42
    Greg says:

    How about training them not to cover-up establishment paedophilia?

  43. 43
    Barack Obama, POTUS, says:

    “All public spending should be submitted to a simple test: is this essential?”

    That’s the nub of things on my side of the Big Dr!nk– I’ve found it to be essential to assign more National Parks Service employees to guard national monuments against “trespassers” than were there ordinarily when those monuments were open to the public.

    Saw the Repub’s fawt innit.

  44. 44

    Even that small sum is TAXPAYERS MONEY , it could have been used to pay the salaries of at least three LGTG outreach workers for year.

  45. 45
    Basil Fawlty says:

    Twitter whats that where do I sign up for training, will I need an overnight bag?

  46. 46

    Some of these allergies are real others merely fashionable

  47. 47
    Dr Faustus says:

    Last financial year I spent £27,873 on twitter training and it has done me a power of good.

    The fact that my twitter trainers were so-called ‘rent boys’ and intellectually impaired young women should not be a matter for HMRC at all.

  48. 48
    The general public says:

    So whose mate was paid to provide this ‘training’?

  49. 49
    John Tandy says:


  50. 50
    The general public says:

    Who elected you?

  51. 51
  52. 52
    NBeale says:

    Considering the trouble caused by ill-judged tweets but also the awesome extent to which Twitter is used for major business and political purposes this is certainly money well spent.

    A bad tweet could cause a Diplomatic Incident.

  53. 53


  54. 54
    Nigel Garage says:

    Who are you?

  55. 55

    Champagne Twitterati!

  56. 56
    Juvenalian Precariat says:

    Twitter is so last century, Everyone is using two tin ans and piece string now.

    Is anyone in charge around here?

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office
    The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”
    He replies, “Yes, caffeine.”
    “Have you ever worked for the public service before?”
    Yes, I was in the army.” he says, “I was in Iraq for two tours.”
    The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points towards
    Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”
    The guy says, “Yes. A mine exploded near me when I was there and I lost
    both of my testicles”.
    The interviewer grimaces and then says, “O.K. You’ve got enough points
    for me to take you on right away.Our normal hours are from 8.00am to
    4.00pm…….but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am – and carry on starting at
    10.00am every day.”
    The bloke is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8.00am to
    4.00pm, why don’t you want me here until 10.00am? I’m not looking for
    any special treatment y’know”
    “What you have to understand is that this is a council job,” the
    interviewer says, “For the first two hours, we just stand around
    drinking coffee and scratching our bollocks. There’s no point in you coming in at 8 is there?.”

  58. 58
    steve klane says:

    My young lad managed to work out how to use twitter all by himself, but then he is aged twelve and when a brain is that advanced no training is needed.
    Can they think of anything else to waste my money on, if so drop me a line and i will willing offer to pay more tax – Fu’kwits

  59. 59
    Dougie says:

    Given that all the Arab Spring revolutions seem to have happened on Twitter, I’d say it was very important for the FCO to understand how to use the medium. Sorry to spoil a good rant …

  60. 60
    Internet Jeanius says:

    Could they not just have looked at the web-page entitled “Twitter 101: Getting started with Twitter”?

  61. 61
    Internet Jeanius says:

    You mean “reading”?

    not the town

  62. 62
    Sweary Pete says:

    Sensible? Course it’s not fucking sensible. Every fucking child who’s got a fucking phone learns how to use fucking twitter in 15 minutes, they don’t need to spend 100 fucking thousand fucking pounds on it.

  63. 63
    gerrydorrian66 says:

    How about all of us who taught ourselves how to use social media – why don’t we sell our skills to Oxbridge’s finest as consultants at £40 per hour?

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers