October 9th, 2013

PMQs LIVE: Birthday Edition

Stay tuned for Simon Carr’s first Gallery Guido sketch. Comments in the comments please…


  1. 1
    Labour are evil says:

    I hope Cameron mentions Burnham’s department buying 18 bottles of champagne on the same day the relatives of those who died at Mid Staffs launched their memorial campaign.

    • 15
      bankers' puppet Dave says:

      I told you the British economy was now recovering faster and faster, and the Eurozone, particularly the evil Nazis, were completely fucked:

      UK manufacturing sector output change Jul-Aug 2013: -1.2%

      Germany manufacturing sector output change Jul-Aug 2013: +2.1%


      • 21
        dai manufacturing says:

        we’re giving them a start!

        • 76
          Krautland ist Kaput says:

          Deutsche Bank debt liabilites: 72.8 TRILLION Euros.

          Entire German annual GDP: 2.5 Trillion Euros.

          • It is pure entertainment.

          • It's not Kraut v Brit, it's humanity v the Psychos says:

            ‘Deutsche’ Bank is about as German and relevant to the real Germany as the Bank of ‘England’ is to England and the English people – zip.

            Whether Deutsche has xty trillion derivatives debts or JP Morgan half a quadrillion doesn’t matter – it’s all fake. Just drop the Ponzi economy – stop the printing – and make the bankers, whether Frankfurt, London or NYC based, go whistle for their phony derivatives ‘assets’.

            Better still jail the fuckers for perpetrating fraud with their fraudulent mortgage based securities, or whatever. The real economy will recover, as it should have done in 2008/9, once the bankers were left go hang, metaphorically and literally.

          • Economist says:

            There is more truth printed in the Sunday S’port than there is on the paper in your wallet.

      • 25
        Tata says:

        …but, but, we keep telling the thick English people we are producing more and more of our outdated, totally reliant on Ford’s six year old product and investment legacy, unreliable vehicles that people are falling over themselves to buy at our hugely usurious prices. We wouldn’t lie would we?

        • 36
          Michael Heseltine says:

          don’t worry Mr Tata, throw me a few rupees, say £10m/yr, and I’ll get my hacks to print some shit in Haymarket’s Autocar magazine about your crap overpriced going up in flames products being world leading, okay?

    • 51
      Anonymous says:

      Unfortunately, David Cameron is too nice to stoop to the level of the Labour party where apparently having a breadmaker (cost from about £39.99, or 2 bottles of Andy`s Champagne) is considered to be the hight of decadence !

      • 122
        Oliver says:

        Either way another win for EM.
        Cameron may get red in the face at the thought but his poor handling of everything he touches will hand the UK to Milliband and Balls.
        Get ready for it. And don’t forget we’ll have Cameron to thank for it.

    • 130
      HM Treasury says:

      Yes. In these days of austerity, a reasonably priced Saumur would have been much more appropriate for staff at that pay grade.

  2. 2
    Diane Abbott says:


  3. 3
    Conspiracy Watch says:

    Wasn’t the K’enya mall attack an inside job and nothing to do with terrorism ?

  4. 4
    Steve Miliband says:

    Is Hugh Grant asking a question today?

  5. 6
    Creepy MP alert says:

    Mr Evans has a cheek

  6. 7
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Marriage tax allowance is like a return to the 1950s. Cam : “Marriage great institution”- even for men who stick their penis up another man’s anus?

  7. 8
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Morning peepses…

  8. 9
    Steve Miliband says:

    Anything on the economy Ed?

  9. 10
    Ed's dad's younger Son says:

    There’s Loads of room on this bench today

  10. 11
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Official: It’s a love in!

  11. 12
    Poor as feck says:

    ED looks whiter than white

  12. 13
    Tie Watch says:

    Balls and Clegg: Red
    Miliband and Cameron: Blue.

  13. 14
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Red Ed is right – free markets are not the same as cartels. Cam should learn.

  14. 16
    The Labour Back Bench says:

    Why is there no room to sit down today?

  15. 17
    Red Watch says:

    Everything Ed Miliband says is communist plot. Better dead than red.

  16. 20
    Dick Scratcha says:

    The water companies are the utilities that are massively (and literally) taking the piss. What is wet Cam going to do about that? Fuck all.

  17. 22
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Ed excited about something….?

  18. 23
    Red Watch says:

    They are avoiding the point that the coalition could have undone Miliband’s energy policy.

    Cameron is going to be undone by blaming increasing prices on Labour hoping that people do not notice that he has done nothing to correct this.

    Killing the carbon tax b/s would help preserve profits for energy producers and cut costs for the consumer.

    • 35
      Simon - Chatty Man - Carr says:

      Dave’s a do-nothing kind of guy.

    • 113
      Observant says:

      Dave is a ‘big wind’ shill & close family benefit greatly from the bastardized energy market. Hardly surprising he does feck all about it.

  19. 24
    The Labour Back Bench says:

    Oh Dear. Ed’s voice is breaking.He’s lost it.

    Interesting that Dave has dumped the Carbon targets though. More than interesting it is EXPLOSIVE!!

  20. 26
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Every additional layer of regulation and every new rule serves to restrict the ability of small players to enter a market and thus concentrate it in the hands of the big players.

  21. 27
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Celt count = 2

  22. 28
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP

  23. 29
    Dick Scratcha says:

    I’ll give that one to Ed. The consumer is king.

  24. 31
    Lie Down says:

    Shagger Nokes

  25. 32
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Do you think Caroline Nokes knows how to fix a Mondeo?

  26. 34
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Dave: embarrassingly clueless on why lenders don’t lend/

  27. 42
    Steve Miliband says:

    Good dig at the BBC

  28. 43
    Dave is Right says:

    Dave does have a point. Labour are Always talking down their own constituencies.

  29. 44
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Skidmore – unfortunate name for that question.

  30. 45
    Diane Abbott says:

    Where’s Gordon?

  31. 46
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Two Ed’s look like total idiots in response to the BBC report news.

    BBC have gone off message ?

  32. 47
    Dick Scratcha says:

    I though you couldn’t be a Labour MP with a double barrelled name?

    Surely a mistake?

  33. 49
    Dick Scratcha says:

    So Cam, why have all the corporation tax cuts been for those co.s making more that £300k profit.

    Most growth in employment is due to micro businesses & you’ve done fuck all for them, you wet fart.

  34. 50

    What are these great, supine, protoplasmic, invertebrate jellies doing now?

    I am not going to set up my proxy, having got back late (points failure at Rijeka Junction) as the best/worst must be over by now.

  35. 52
    Dick Scratcha says:

    VAT legislation is a complete mess. Gideon should sort it. He could bring in billions in revenue from this.

    Why no VAT on newspapers??? and post?

    • 58
      Thyme says:

      VAT is a tax introduced by the Common market, EEC, EU. There should be no surprise that it is a complete mess.

    • 143
      Sir William Waid says:

      VAT is a much clearer and more efficient tax than most. VAT law even contains a concise statement of what it is supposed to do, and adheres to that. VAT is hard to avoid by legal means, but does not sprawl out into areas it wasn’t intended to cover.

      Best of all, Chancellors of the Exchequer have no power to keep fannying about with VAT and making a cat’s-cradle out of it, as they do with other taxes.

  36. 54
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Is Chuka still piping Luciana?

  37. 55
    Steve Miliband says:

    Scouser Luciana

  38. 56
    Phwoooooar! says:

    Caroline Noakes – yes please!

  39. 57
    yummy says:

    Caroline Noakes – yes please!

  40. 59
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Celt & beard count = 3

  41. 61
    Dick Scratcha says:

    How much does the bleeding commonwealth cost us?

  42. 63
    Richard Pluke says:

    Ed entered the ring as favourite only to be carried out knocked out cold.

  43. 64
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Marriage tax allowance is like a return to the 50s. Pathetic.

    • 92
      Happily Married to a Woman and Proud of It says:

      I am overtaxed. Anything reducing my family’s tax bill is welcome. Get over it.

  44. 65
    Poor as feck says:

    give me 10 fags,not 20

    • 70
      Casual Observer 3 says:

      Dave probably got confused thinking it was about gay marriage… better out than in ?

  45. 66
    Rotten says:

    Woeful PMQs

  46. 67
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Dave admitting he is not aware of the content of EU directives and proposals ?

  47. 68
    Dick Scratcha says:

    Homo marriage ffs. Thus country & Cam are fucked.

  48. 71

    That was enjoyable not listening to that. I’ll have some lunch and a beer and come back for Simon’s piece.


  49. 73
    How Sick says:

    Dave. A man and a man can not create babies by putting their willies up each other’s bottoms. And why are you giving them tax breaks for Brown smelly sexual habits?

    • 77
      if you don't like it says:

      Population growth is out of control so we should reward those who do not contribute to the problem.

    • 78
      Van Rumpy's Bent Accounts says:

      He thinks there are votes in obeying the EU

    • 116
      Medical Man says:

      More than 60% of active homosexuals do not engage in the particular practice to which you refer. Most in fact are rather fastidious in their personal habits.

  50. 74
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Looked like Dave was going to do a lap of honor after that knock out blow delivered to Ed Ba!!s.

    • 88
      Simon - Chatty Man - Carr says:

      Dave’s too fat for a lap of honour – he’ll just wobble his bellies to celebrate.

  51. 84
    Alex Salmond, formerly the cleverest man in politics says:

    I will lead Scotland into a republican socialist utopia on 19th Sep 2014. Ya ken.

    • 91
      Cornish pasty says:

      Can’t wait.
      Start sorting out your own currency and
      membership of international bodies.

    • 129
      Can the Scots save England from Labour ?? says:

      Regrettably it’s becoming increasingly unlikely that the Scots, as they realise that it will cost them money in increased taxes and lost benefits as the english turn off the cash tap, will vote for independence

      • 146
        just an idea says:

        Give the English the vote.
        That’ll ensure we get independence from the Scots.

  52. 85
    in the real world says:

    Mid Staffs NHS Trust has pleaded guilty to safety breaches in 2007.

  53. 100
    Slaughter says:

    Sadiq Kahn being Keel Hauled by Brillo on green taxes. Kahn is simply out of is depth and is taking complete Burble

    • 103
      chris says:

      Best bit was sadiq khan telling the presenter that it was as if he had read from the same script as him. Only for the conservative to interject with “I can say aloud that we all believe that”

    • 110
      Labour...mendacious expedient sociopaths says:

      khan is a lightweight player no-one takes seriously

    • 160
      Jack Ketch says:

      Sadiq Khan makes a refreshing change from the Labour spokesmen who cannot answer a question–he answers but talks utter piffle, ties himself in knots, contradicts his first statement and makes a complete pratt of himself. He was a lawyer

  54. 109
    Anonymous says:

    PMQs what a shocking waste of time and money.

    Same tired old cliches accompanied by moronic jeering from overpaid idiots.

    All parties terrified of raising anything of any real substance for fear of upsetting the gravy train.

    • 115
      ukipping or what ? says:

      would it be improved by your favorites being there ? (don’t laugh)

      • 132
        Anonymous says:

        I doubt it, but my favourites don’t want to be there.

        The system is broken and the people paid to fix it are more worried about second homes and expenses than any real solutions.

        “Keep the gravy train running at all costs” should be the Westminster motto.

  55. 112
    Lord Palfery says:

    ‘Police have new Maddie suspect efit’

    will this efit be of the suspect then or one based on how suspect looks now?????

  56. 120
    Steve Miliband says:

    Does Mr Carr still facilitate an offshore Tax arrangement?

  57. 123
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    Ed Miliband should be frozen and placed in suspended animation for 200 years because people then will never believe such an idiot could have risen to be head of a major British political party.

  58. 133
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Another shout-fest from the LibLabCon traitors.

    Whichever you vote for you will get more of the same:

    More EU.
    More Mass Immigration.
    More Expensive Green Energy.
    More Mass Unemployment.

    Remember vote early,vote often,vote UKIP :-)

  59. 145

    It is my belief that Maria Miller has a hairy chest, back and shoulders. Probably areolae as well.

    Please note, I am not suggesting that she possesses equipment in the trouser department, just that she is rather prone to hyperandrogenism.

  60. 149
    Dave is useless at this says:

    They’re all useless. A change of system not just a change of govt. Vote UKIP

    • 154
      ukipping or what ? says:

      neither will be achieved by voting ukip but least of all a change of system

      • 157
        Anonymous says:

        If I give you a pound, your still a sad loser traitor, if 1 million people give you a pound, you’re a millionaire traitor.

        • 158
          ukipping or what ? says:

          pathetic and sure indication you know you’re peeing in the wind voting ukip

          • Anonymous says:

            If 1 person pisses the fire still burns amid a dribble of wee, if 1 million people all piss on the LibLabCon there is a biblical deluge of piss that will put out any fire, whichever traitor started it.

            When the little people rise up the powers that be don’t like it one little bit.

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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