October 8th, 2013

Dowden’s Day Job Perks


Some rather “unsubtle” and “unsophisticated” politicking from Number 10’s Deputy Chief of Staff Oliver Dowden, who is trying to sew up the nomination for the safe Tory seat of Croydon South. Local co-conspirators tell Guido that Dowden has been calling local party figures who will have a say in the selection and dropping into conversation “oh the Prime Minister’s just walked in, fancy a chat?” before passing over the phone. Wary of this type of pressure, the other safe seat that is also selecting at the moment – Tonbridge and Malling – has opened up the decision to every registered voter in the area. 65,000 such phone calls suddenly gets a bit tricky.


  1. 1
    Posting hereunder of leftie or hoeing-at-the-pink-allotment type = sockpuppet. (SC) says:


  2. 2
    Ma­qb­oul says:

    Even registered Labour voters?

  3. 3
    Mitch says:

    Usually, but the shortlist is pre-selected. So, they get a choice of conservative, conservative, or female conservative.

  4. 4
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Choice of europhile traitor,europhile traitor, or female europhile traitor.

  5. 5
    Diane Abbott calls Jamaica "HOME" says:

    “I have travelled to and from Jamaica all my adult life. At Christmas time in particular, the plane is packed with Jamaicans going home. I always say that if I wanted to leave the country anonymously, I would not choose a Christmas flight to Jamaica because invariably nearly every passenger recognises me.”


  6. 6
    Gay Fawkes says:

    God I wish the Tribe had got the dumb goys to bomb Syria and I wouldn’t be posting this mind melting shit.

  7. 7
    Doris Goldblatt says:

    Britain admits it has no figures on EU ‘welfare tourist’ numbers:


    OY VEY !!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. 8
    Where are Tony Blair's expenses says:

    The modern politician never far from the cess pit.

    This is just an extension of Cameron’ policy of appointing politically correct but in competent candidates before the last election.

    The sooner we have open primaries the better.

  9. 9
    Jamaica Airlines passenger says:

    could hardly miss the fat fucker

  10. 10
    Gidders says:


  11. 11
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Cameron will be the last and worst ever Tory PM.

    His legacy will be as follows:

    1. The destruction of the sanctity of marriage

    2. The end of 300 years of press freedom

    3. The end of centuries of free speech

    4. Doubling the national debt

    5. Covering the countryside in useless expensive windmills

    6. Flooding the country with more unwanted immigrants

    Remember vote early,vote often,vote UKIP :-)

  12. 12
    Vanity of Youth says:

    However looking at the photo that is not the same Diane Abbott as the one we know. The lady in that photo is about 30 years younger than The Diane Abbott MP..


  13. 13
    Tottenham Hotspur says:

    6 million. the answer’s always 6 million.

  14. 14
    Man from the street says:

    And Tonbridge & Malling UKIP members like me.

  15. 15
    R. E Gentzoo says:

    The sooner we allow primates to vote the better

  16. 16
    Butch Dave says:

    not bad for a fat fag.

  17. 17
    Gidders says:

    Reminds me of B’liar when he was a bit of a long hair, jumping up and down at a press conference for John Smith doing the look at me, look at me, routine

  18. 18
    nellnewman says:

    I don’t always agree with you axetheTelly but your slogan for UKIP is very memorable and catchy. Keep up the good work. farage should be paying you.

  19. 19
    Ed Miliband says:


    1. More Europe
    2. More Immigration
    3. More Green taxes
    4. More Red taxes
    5. More Press regulation
    6. Loads more spending
    7. Massive Debts
    8. But hey you really socked it to the Tories!!!
    9. ha ha ha
    10. Thanks

  20. 20
    In the next seat says:

    The sooner passengers are charged by weight the better. Imagine,,,,,

  21. 21
    Huge Grant says:

    I’ll be able to a blow job in peace soon!

  22. 22
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Vote LibLabCon and you will get more of the same in your list, only UKIP offers any hope of changing the status quo.

  23. 23
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Vote Labour = 500,000 immigrants per year
    Vote Liberal Democrats = 500,000 immigrants per year
    Vote Conservative = 500,000 immigrants per year

    They’re all the fucking same.

  24. 24
    Posting hereunder of leftie or hoeing-at-the-pink-allotment type = sockpuppet. (SC) says:

    Agree. I said they should not have given these folk iPads but vuvuzelas.

  25. 25
    Posting hereunder of leftie or hoeing-at-the-pink-allotment type = sockpuppet. (SC) says:

    You have not posted on your blog this year, nell.

    More the pity, as it is a good one.

  26. 26
    Ed Miliband says:

    So how many MP’s will they have in 2015

  27. 27
    Enforce the border says:

    And Norther Ireland has 80000 of them scrounging it from the Republic of Ireland…..

  28. 28
    Gidders says:

    Homo sapiens sapiens is a primate, if you mean extending the vote to Pan troglodytes or Pan paniscus, I think you are maybe asking a bit much. Don’t you think the dipsticks who get totally rat every weekend should be disbarred until they come to their senses, the idea that even 16 olds getting the vote fills me with dread, 18 year olds think they know run things but we are stuck with that so keep it at that.

  29. 29
    Andy Burnham and Labour are cold-blooded murderers. Fact. says:

    So she has actually thought about leaving the country?

    Excellent. This is to be encouraged.

  30. 30
    Gidders says:

    If that were so Eric Pickles would be banned from flying due to the increased costs

  31. 31
    Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:


    Only joking.

  32. 32
    Andy Burnham and Labour are cold-blooded murderers. Fact. says:

    Broadly speaking I agree with you, but there’s an interesting counter-argument in today’s Times (letters page) by Bill Cash MP, worth a glance if you come by a copy.

  33. 33
    Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

    Vote UKIP = 499,000 immigrants per year.

    Remember what Our Dave said before the election? Will poor old Nige do any better?

  34. 34
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    If enough people vote for them they will get their first MPs, just as they have been getting their first councillors.

    The same was said of the SNP in Scotland that they would never get any MPs, now they are in majority government.

    From little acorns mighty oak trees grow :-)

  35. 35
    Posting hereunder of leftie or hoeing-at-the-pink-allotment type = sockpuppet. (SC) says:

    Gloria’s thighs are now bigger than a prop-forward’s.

    Must be one hell of a grip she has.

  36. 36
    illogical says:

    Is Christmas in Jamaica an example of expected winter ‘blackouts’?
    Or is it just a rum business fiddle for imported politicians?
    Will nobody think of the calories.

  37. 37
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Where as I have empirical evidence my previous comment is correct yours has none whatsoever.

    Well done.

  38. 38
    Alfie Asbo (typical Labour supporter) says:

    BJ’s are well expensive! It’s part of the cost of living crisis what Ed Miliband will like fix. When I come back from the boozer I like to get a BJ off of Bekkah in the social housing next door like, but she like charges £10 and I’m like no way! And she like yeah! And I’m like “I can’t afford that cos I’ve spent all me bennies in the boozer” and she’s like “whatever” like.

    This is a serious cost of living crisis innit.

  39. 39
    Posting hereunder of leftie or hoeing-at-the-pink-allotment type = sockpuppet. (SC) says:

    Chinese and Goldmans both shitting conkers over US shutdown.

  40. 40

    Who the fuck elected any “deputy chief of staff “to No. 10 Downing st. or anywhere?
    We are becoming more Americanised all the time, no doubt the taxpayers are paying this twat’s inflated salary , it is blatant political appointments like this that caused so much corruption during the Blair regime.
    I hope UKIP show him just how safe a tory seat Croydon south really is.

  41. 41
    Social(ist) services says:

    How many more children have to die before people realise that social services are rotten to the core? Every few weeks we hear about another case where social workers “missed opportunities” to save a child from abuse and neglect and every few weeks we hear the same old garbage about “lessons have been learned”.

    There has to be a complete root and branch reform, or more accurately a detoxification of social services in Britain. We’ve had the obscene situation of muslim child grooming gangs being allowed to carry out r*pes and torture because social workers thought it would be politically incorrect to investigate them, and we’ve had toddlers beaten and starved to death because social workers believed what the parents told them, but at the same time we’ve seen foster kids removed from a loving foster family because they happened to be UKIP voters. It really is a sick joke.

    The elephant in the room that the government and others are refusing to acknowledge is the ethos and culture in social services, namely that social services are staffed almost entirely by ultra far left staff who believe what parents tell them, refuse to act on reports of abuse where the perpetrators are muslim, and will only fly into action when there is a parent who votes for a party they don’t like. The entire workforce should be cleared out and new staff trained and brought in who won’t be bleeding heart idiots who think kids should stay with their unemployed crack addict and/or violent parents because it would be politically incorrect to remove them.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Labour voters aren’t excluded.

  43. 43
    Gidders says:

    The answer to everything is no longer 42 it is (1+√5)/2 approximately = 1.618033988749894848204586834………

  44. 44
    aristotle says:

    One swallow does not a summer make, nor one fine day

  45. 45
    Ma­qb­oul says:

    Orang Utans are primates also and as we know Tunbridge Wells is teeming with the fuckers.

  46. 46
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Germany is building MORE coal-fired power stations.
    We on the other-hand closed ours before we replaced them.

    How do they get away with it?

  47. 47
    Ryanair says:

    If she causes the aircraft to list to one side, it’s £12 extra.

  48. 48
    Ma­qb­oul says:

    And why does the Chief of Staff need a deputy? Surely whoever is in charge of the typing pool doesn’t need an assistant.

  49. 49

    Especially any unfortunate enough to be crammed into about 8inches of space unable to move , suffocated by her immense bulk, truly a living nightmare !

  50. 50
    Oliver Dowden says:

    Please choose me. I am:

    1. So busy with Prime Ministerial stuff that I’ll have no time for constituency matters;

    2. Completely beholden to Dave and therefore unable to stand up for my constituents;

    3. Sure to be sacked or engulfed in scandal eventually;

    4. Likely to bail out for a well-paid, influence-peddling sinecure in the private sector; and

    5. Best mates with the people at CCHQ who are reading you emails.

  51. 51
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    The Golden Ratio.

  52. 52
    Witty Moniker says:

    6. So far up Dave’s a*se that I don’t realise how much most association members can’t wait to see the back of him and that his implied endorsement is the kiss of death to my poltiical ‘career’.

  53. 53
    brown-dog says:

    Because they are NATIONAL socialists…whereas we have to endure the INTERNATIONAL socialism that is imposed on us.

  54. 54

    No that would be the the Assistant deputy chief of staff’s job ,the Deputy Chief of Staff would be far to busy reporting to the Chief of Staff

  55. 55

    Do they sell one way tickets or would that be RACIIIIIISSST ?

  56. 56
    David Cameron says:

    Bedroom Tax
    Andy Coulson
    Rebekah Brooks
    Food Banks
    Leon Brittan
    Peter Morrison
    Osborne’s paddock scam
    Children left in the pub
    43 Government U-turns
    Minimum alcohol pricing
    Anthony Bamford
    Adrian Beecroft
    Michael Spencer
    Lord Green
    Cigarette packaging & Lynton Crosby
    Fracking & Lynton Crosby
    Peter Cruddas
    Lying under oath at Leveson
    The promotion of Esther McVey

  57. 57
    David Cameron says:

    “I am the crisis that will leave you homeless,
    The heart attack you have through stress,
    The reason the hospital you need is closed,
    The prescription you cannot afford,
    The food shopping you cannot buy,
    The reason you feel ashamed to be disabled,
    The reason you no longer have a job,
    I am the reason you are called a scrounger,
    I am David Cameron,
    This is the Tory Party,
    We are your crisis,
    And we don’t care who or what you are

  58. 58
    Common Purpose says:

    We will find out where you live and subject you to thought reeducation

  59. 59
    Village Idiot says:

    …I wouldn’t worry too much as your lifestyle means you will not make it to old age,
    STD,s and liver failure ,just for starters!

  60. 60
    Liam Fox says:


  61. 61
    Bill Quango MP -9 says:

    Could you not arrange some sort of payday loan with the lady?

    You receive a blow today but her £15 on giro day?

  62. 62
    P l e b says:

    Coming to a post office near you …

    1. A successful nationalised company that, within 10 years, will be largely owned by foreign companies, some of them nationalised companies in their own country.

    2. A significant proportion of the profits from this country going overseas. Some of this profit will go to the foreign companies who are shareholders. And another high proportion will go to wealthy individuals who will stash it away in tax havens.

    3. Senders of letters paying much higher prices.

    4. Within 10 years receivers of letters finding they’re no longer delivered on Saturdays (despite government assurances) and those who live in rural areas will have to collect their mail from a post box in a ‘central’ location.

    How can I predict? The Tories have form with this sort of thing … the railways, energy … water … telecommunications ..

  63. 63
    Village Idiot says:

    ..Just heard Andy Burnham,(I think),saying that the health secretary was “Undermining confidence in the Health service”,. ??????***

  64. 64
    Gordon Brown says:

    What day is it today?

  65. 65
    Dave Cumerbund says:

    Just had a bet with Ed Miliband.
    He reckons it will be 2 million Roma Bulgars coming by this time next year.
    I say 3.5 million.

    Whoever is nearest on 1 jan 2015 will owe the other five pounds.

  66. 66
    Demetrius Skortou says:

    the next Euro & General Elections can’t come too soon, as far as I’m concerned.

    I hope a sizeable majority of the British electorate kick all these rotten politicians from ConLabLib out of office.

    ConLabLib have been THE biggest cancer this country has always had.

    It’s time for a new party to take over from this corrupt two party system, who have collectively held power in Britain for 200 years.

    UKIP will get us out of that fascist dictatorship the EU and we will also save this £80 billion pounds that both ConLab are throwing away on useless/counter productive things like; £20 billion each year to the EU, £15 billion on so called overseas aid, some of which is bribe money going into the pockets of politicians, police & security officers, to keep British businesses safe from possible riots and or strikes, £60 billion wasted each year on quangos, billions more given away to migrants and trying to bail out the likes of Spain, Portugal, Cyprus & Greece, etc!!!

    A significant enough of the British people have got to realise that when they vote for Con, Lab or Lib party’s, they are in effect voting, not only to keep the political status quo in tact, but the vested interests, who have always owned these bought & paid for politicians, like bits of loose change in their pockets.

    Kick ConLabLib out, so we can build a much better, fairer and more prosperous country for all the British people!!!!

  67. 67
    tn02 says:

    Play the ball, not the man.

    Cameron is merely the libertarian’s puppet.

  68. 68
    P l e b says:

    I want to hear the Labour Party tell all of these greedy ba**ards that they are going to lose their investments when they get in power as the Post Office will be re-nationalised with no compensation

  69. 69
    Mong Watch says:

    I am a shit advert for a health service that kills,
    I will not win Labour any votes,
    Fuck off mong.

  70. 70
    Flatcap Army says:

    the same open primary idea is being used in Bath – the last candidate to stand against Don Foster was a management consultant parachuted in from London which caused the local LibDems to froth a bit, until someone pointed out that when he successfully stood against Chris Patten, Don Foster was a management consultant parachuted in from London

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    The UK is being dismantled from within.

  72. 72
    Pie Lott says:

    Hippos always travel first class – so the tilt will be towards the front making the nose point down. Hard to get lift from that angle.

  73. 73
    The Rt Rev O'Lution says:

    So! Time to get the pitchforks nice and sharp. They may be needed sooner than we think.

  74. 74
    The Rt Rev O'Lution says:

    Best news of the year so far. Those cussed Tea Partyers really know how to f**k up bolshie governments!

  75. 75
    The Rt Rev O'Lution says:

    … along with the trains, electricity companies and the water charities.

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Dave cold calling, Whatever next?

  77. 77

    Why the fuck should we be concerned about him leaving his children in a pub?

  78. 78

    Sadly most of the children who suffer are brought into the world by those who live on the system , in fact in many cases they would probably not even exist if it wasn’t for the benefit system.
    No matter how hard individual social workers may try, they cannot possibly look out for every child who might be in danger ,especially as they are constrained by the PC culture endemic in many local authorities.
    In many cases it is a ‘damned if you do damned if you don’t’ scenario , as much as I dislike meddling municipal prod noses I must have some sympathy for their predicament

  79. 79

    I am the reason the reason why we owe £1.5 Trillion I am Gordon Brown I am Labour

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