October 7th, 2013

Reshuffle Rolling Live Blog

  • Kris Hopkins appointed Parliamentary Under Secretary at DCLG. Amber Rudd, Claire Perry, Gavin Barwell and John Penrose made assistant whips. Desmond Swayne has been appointed as Vice Chamberlain of HM Household (Senior Whip).
  • Baroness Jolly has been appointed as a Whip in the Lords.
  • Liam Byrne demoted to Shadow Higher Education Minister, replaced by Rachel Reeves. She is replaced as Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury by Chris Leslie.
  • Vernon Coaker replaces Jim Murphy as Shadow Defence Secretary.
  • Tristram Hunt new Shadow Education Secretary, replacing Stephen Twigg, who is demoted to Shadow Minister of State at Justice.
  • Douglas Alexander chair of election strategy, stays at shadow FCO.
  • Former Gordon aide Spencer Livermore returns as campaign director.
  • Maria Eagle to DEFRA, Mary Creagh to Transport, Ivan Lewis to Northern Ireland. Gloria de Piero promoted to Shadow Minister for Women and Equalities. Liz Kendall attending Shadow Cabinet as Shadow Minister for Care and Older People. Jack Dromey is sacked, Emma Reynolds attends Cabinet as Shadow Housing Minister.
  • Wayne David PPS to Miliband.
  • Nothing for Stella Creasy.
  • Anna Soubry appointed as Parliamentary Under Secretary at MOD, Jane Ellison appointed as Parliamentary Under Secretary at Department of Health.
  • Dan Rogerson appointed as Parliamentary Under Secretary at Defra, Stephen Williams Parliamentary Under Secretary at DCLG.
  • Champers all round: Andy Burnham stays at Shadow Health.
  • Baroness Stowell appointed as Parliamentary Under Secretary at DCLG.
  • Michael Dugher promoted to shadow Cabinet Office minister, replacing Jon Trickett.
  • Robert Goodwill has been appointed as Parliamentary Under Secretary at Transport.
  • George Eustice to DEFRA.
  • Alistair Burt out at FCO.
  • Shailesh Vara appointed as Parliamentary Under Secretary at MoJ.
  • Karren Bradley and Sam Gyimah to the Whips’ Office.
  • Rumours: Liam Byrne fired from Shadow Work and Pensions, Stephen Twigg sacked from Shadow Education, Jim Murphy to International Development.
  • Hugh Robertson moves from DCMS to FCO as  Minister of State.
  • Helen Grant is Parliamentary Under Secretary of State (Sport and Equalities) at DCMS.
  • Matt Hancock appointed Minister of State for Skills & Enterprise, shared by BIS and DfE.
  • Jeremy Browne has been sacked by Clegg as a Home Office minister for being “too right wing”, reports Christopher Hope. It was the Google street view that lost it. Replaced by Norman Baker, in turn replaced at Transport by Susan Kramer.
  • Andrew Robathan appointed as Minister of State at the Northern Ireland Office.
  • Mark Prisk fired as Housing minister.
  • Nicky Morgan appointed Economic Secretary to the Treasury.
  • Sajid Javid appointed Financial Secretary to the Treasury.
  • Mike Penning made Minister of State at DWP. Guido hears he left the Northern Ireland Office for DWP with a box of Christmas decorations.
  • Greg Clark leaves the Treasury for the Cabinet Office, becomes Minister of State for Cities and constitution.
  • Esther McVey promoted at DWP, replacing comprehensive educated northerner Mark Hoban as Minister of State for Employment.
  • Greg Hands promoted to deputy chief whip.
  • Richard Benyon out – DEFRA, Chloe Smith out – Cabinet Office, John Randall out – whips
  • The new LibDem chief whip is DCLG under-secretary of state Don Foster, who once sulked in his office for a week when passed over for promotion.
  • Michael Moore has been sacked as Scottish Secretary, replaced by LibDem chief whip Alistair Carmichael. Presumably for services to that wonderful job he did ignoring allegations about David Ward.



  1. 1
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Who cares? Hopefully that post will soon we defunct anyway, to be replaced by Ambassador to Scotland.


    • 4
      Obi Wan Kenobi Nil says:

      sadly you are going to be stuck with us – now if only the UK could ditch the South East of England which spends far more per head than it takes in in tax (unlike Scotland).

      Moore removed because he’s duller than watching an entire Dulux factory dry?


    • 5
      Nonny Mouse says:



    • 58
      Englishman says:

      I don’t think we need a full Ambassador, their country isn’t important enough to justify one. All we need is some consular representation via, say North Korea’s.


    • 93
      BREAKING NEWS 2015 says:

      DAVE OUT


    • 276
      Gooey Blob says:

      Glad to see Stephen Twigg go, he’s useless. Trouble is, there isn’t a great deal of talent on the Labour benches at the moment. If Miliband were not so utterly hopeless himself I’d feel sorry for him.


    • 351
      Jabez says:

      Much of the reshuff. is not aired. Did you know that Prince Charles – has elected himself on the recommendation of Britain’s non removable Prime Politician the Queen. Prince Charles is now Minister with two hundred bleeding portfolios and will be sticking his fucking nose everywhere.


      • 358
        broderick crawford says:

        So Jack Dromey husband of Harriet Harperson is out .
        Must have asked for the back door onace too often …..


        • 368
          Only chavs shop at Tesco says:

          Does anyone know if that myopic snake, Wedgie Jr, is still around? He WAS a front-bencher, n’est-ce pas?


  2. 2
    Exiting says:

    Is that woeful Villiers woman going to be ditched too?


    • 233
      Pick litter for bennies says:

      You must be a relative of Abu Hamsa.


    • 235
      Vaz of the Silk Cushions says:

      If she would like to pose for a publicity photo for the press, then I am readily available to comfort her in her anguish (as long as no other more poignant opportunity arises that is, obviously).


    • 359
      broderick crawford says:

      So anna Soubry has now got hersellf a P u s s y.

      Hubby will be proud .


  3. 3
    Steve Miliband says:

    Len McLuskey is to be declared Leader of the Labour Party


    • 6
      Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

      Are they going to re-instate that nice Mr Laws? He was quite impressive during his 100 hours in the cabinet.


    • 14
      Nonny Mouse says:

      Yes, if Ed Mili wants to go down in the annals of history he could do it by reshuffling himself out of his own Shadow Cabinet! That would be unique and memorable and by doing so he would finally have exhibited some sound judgement. Personally I’d give it to that Yvette Cooper.


    • 127
      Len. McCluskey says:

      Who says I’m not now


    • 136
      Ed Militwat says:

      I thought he already was.


      • 361
        broderick crawford says:

        No Ed , you re still the Leader

        It s just that Len is now Life President Emeritus of the Labour Party

        Think if him as akin to Ayatollah Khameini in Iran i e the power behind the throne with the authority to eject you on your ear at your first wrong move .

        Simples !


  4. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    UKIP to replace none of their Shadow Ministers with Ed Miliband


  5. 8
    Shock Horror!! says:

    Ed Miliband interview: ‘I hated telling my mother about Daily Mail piece on my father. It was out of line’


  6. 9
    The British media are cunts says:

    I know it’s an old cliché but it’s still appropriate.

    You can shuffle the deck chairs on the Titanic all you like, but the fucker is still going down.


  7. 10
    Seriously? says:

    Did he really want the UK to lose the Falklands war?


  8. 16
    Hmm says:

    I would like to take a long hard look at the culture and practices of Sharon Stone.


  9. 17
    Dave, Nick and Ed says:

    Back to work after our excellent conferences.

    Nick (or was it Ed?) had the great idea of making mortgages easier for people who couldn’t afford them. We got the idea off American pas (have you seen “the Wire”? It’s great!
    This means that those of us who own additional properties paid for by the taxpayer will see the value of our house-stocks rise, then we can sell them to Wayne and Sharon, and buy them back at a discount when their mortgage collapses!

    Meanwhile Dave (or was it Nick?) has the fab idea of freezing the Price of electricity. Now when the energy companies double their Prices before the next election to give them a reserve, our share Portfolios will rocket!

    Ed, meanwhile, (or was it Dave?) was busy all summer burning the documents about what the sex pests have been up to. This means *all* of us can sleep easier in our beds (or in our neighbour’s bed, or his son, or of his ox).

    But there’s no Holidays without work to do on our return. Where are those expenses forms?


  10. 18
    Rhetorical Question says:

    Is Adam Afriye getting a plum job?


  11. 19
    Seriously? says:

    So, have the eighteen mosques which marry children to hairy old men been closed down this morning yet, or are the police out tracking down Spurs fans instead?


  12. 20
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    Right then,2018 it is folks !!!

    Ladbrokes: Year of Euro In/Out Referendum:
    100/1 2013
    16/1 2014
    20/1 2015
    16/1 2016
    7/4 2017
    4/7 No Referendum before 2018


  13. 23
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    When are we getting the only reshuffle that matters, traitor Dave the Islam loving ecoloon relplaced with a proper Tory.

    In the meantime, vote early, vote often, vote UKIP :-)


  14. 25
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    Your idiotic comment is awaiting moderation,Prime Minister.


  15. 26
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    Could be Dave’s last parliamentary five knuckle shuffle.

    Vote UKIP.


  16. 29
    Y Y O Y says:

    Are you wasting your time on here?

    The end of the world is nigh, says Bob Geldof as he predicts climate change could wipe out humans in the next two decades


    • 37
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      Didn’t they say the same thing two decades ago and yet the world’s population keeps on rising thanks to free market capitalism.


      • 43
        Number one says:

        Maybe he could give me some of his fawkkkin money seeing he won’t be able to spend it all before we are all doomed


      • 141
        Vasectomy Done says:

        I thought it was because the stone age people still don’t know about birth control and their so called leaders (imams) keep them in the dark.


    • 41
      Gidders says:

      Two decades you say, I doubt I will be alive in twenty years time


    • 42
      Casual Observer 3 says:

      The only people who wasted their time are the idiots sat and listened to that fraud tell them they were going to die.

      Geldof is a very accomplished scam artist.


      • 63
        A bogtrotting cunt (one of many) says:

        Give us yer focking money and do it now!


        • 96
          so there says:

          Those who shout loudest about climate change
          spend their lives flying around the world in planes.


          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            “Meanwhile, in March it was revealed that he ( Geldof ) has exploited off-shore companies based in the British Virgin Islands to ensure his two homes here — the mansion flat in Battersea, South London, which he shares with his French partner Jeanne Marine, and his rambling country home in Faversham, Kent — are both exempt from stamp duty and inheritance tax.”

            Geldof is, as is Bono, a weapons grade hypocrite and phoney.


    • 337
      It was just coincidence that he came up with Live Aid the day his record company dropped him says:

      Its good to see Geldof has found a new bandwagon to hitch his long forgotten career onto.


  17. 30
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    Ken Clarke could be on his way out!


  18. 33
    M Hasan says:

    I would like to apply for a job. Whilst I have at times been a critic of the coalition, I remain deeply impressed by the values of David Cameron and feel I could be a useful voice.

    Sir, I salute your courage, your strength, your indefatigability. Gis a job.


    • 60
      David Cameron says:

      Certainly. You’re just the sort of chap we’re looking for to give our new vibrant, left-leaning multicultural cabinet some polish. What post would you like?


  19. 39
    Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

    What, pray, will change?


  20. 40

    Royal Mail anyone?


    • 48
      RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

      Take your profits quick.

      I’m going to re-nationalise it, like we did with Royal Bucket of Scotland. :)


      • 52
        Your profits = Tax payer cash theft says:

        There is a vast difference between pricing Royal Mail shares conservatively and undervaluing them by £1 billion. This is ripping off the taxpayer on an epic scale.


    • 49
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      Royal Fail more like.

      At least when the Krauts are running it, in a few years time, the letters will arrive on time and to the right address and the posties will be smartly dressed and polite.


      • 55
        ExPat says:

        German post has been very expensive and complicated with one afternoon delivery per day (not Sunday) as Long as I’ve lived here.


        • 61
          Watcher says:

          I have a Christmas card sent by my Greatgrandmother to her then betrothed. Posted at 4.30pm, Dec 24th 1904, arrived Christmas Day 1904.


          • Aechmophorus says:

            It was quite usual at this time for men in offices who knew they were going to be home late to send postcards to their wives telling them so. Sent early afternoon, arrived by teatime.


          • Curly says:

            Yes indeed. When I was very small (in the mid 1940s) my mum lifted me up to pop a letter in the post box for my nan, whom we were then on our way to visit for lunch. She lived about 2 miles away. The letter was delivered by 4.30 the same day. Whatever happened to service? I think the stamp cost a halfpenny.


    • 74
      Chuka Top Broka says:

      Thanks to Chuka. There is now a last minute rush to buy shares.

      Promises not to re-nationalise. Says strike action is wrong. Claims shares 30% or more undervalued.

      The government could not have wished for a better salesman.


    • 130
      Anonymous says:

      All property looted by the ConDems will be restored to the public after regime change.

      There will be no nonsense about compensating the criminals.

      Tory families will however be responsible for making reparations to the full value of the stolen goods. Plus interest and penalties.


  21. 50
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Con 33
    Lab 38
    LD 11
    UKIP 13
    Green 2
    SNP/PC 2
    Other 1
    Government approval rating: -22

    h/t Politico Daily


    • 54
      Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:



    • 56
      #a week is a long time in politics says:

      I think you’re a bit premature there CO3, come back in the first quarter of 2015 when we’ll give a shit.


      • 64
        Weight on my elbows says:

        Dave’s never been one to come too soon.


      • 71
        Casual Observer 3 says:

        It’s more odd that the bubbling values of the YouGov Sun Poll appear to be so constant.

        Are they asking the same people each time in their survey ?

        That is more the point for the post.

        After Euro elections is when these figures will be of more interest, unless of course an early GE is somehow called.


        • 78
          Teflon CMD says:

          I give you my cast iron guarantee there will not be an early G*E………

          and you can trust my word, my track record is there to prove it !!!!

          errrrrrrr !!!!!!! Quick phone The Master as I may have shot myself

          in the foot again….


    • 88
      Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

      46% Right of Centre vote, more than enough to win an over all majority for the Tories all they have to do is get rid of Cameron and bring in a real leader.

      This is a job for the 1922 Committee


    • 293
      Gooey Blob says:

      Labour’s lead is nowhere near enough at this stage in the game. A Tory majority is looking very likely – though perhaps not a certainty – for 2015. The only thing you can guarantee is that Ukip will not win a single seat.


      • 306
        The LabLibCon is Le fcuked says:

        Keep telling yourself that. UKIP to come 1st 2014 EUro elections and make massive gains in locals? Don’t bet against it, the anti-establishment vote is bigger ard harder, than the very dim torwees imagine.


  22. 59
    Popeye says:

    Is this the wonderful, equality for women the clowns are yammering about?


    • 205
      Anonymous says:

      Chloe Smith’s “notorious car crash interview” with Jeremy Paxman was no such thing: she knew the sillyy games the boys always play and presented a tribute to their style of larking about.
      Paxman was not impressed, accusing her of behaving as if it was all ‘some kind of a joke’. He can’t stand being the butt of politicians’ humour – that’s what his viewers are supposed to be.


  23. 65
    Anne says:

    Can anyone explain to me PLEASE why we are still voting for and paying towards the wages of all those in the House of Commons that no longer want to Govern this Country according to its very own Constitution so many gave THEIR lives for in 1939-45. Our own Constitution FORBIDS SUCH AN ACTION, and that is why we went to war twice to prevent. Yes. I want answers for I cannot understand any of it and I do not like being taken for a fool!


  24. 67
    • 73
      any old crap says:

      Seems the Liebour Titanic mk1 and Camorons Conservative Titanic mk2 have both hit the public iceberg and are slowly sinking hopefully into oblivion, deckchairs were rearranged just before hitting the iceberg.


  25. 68
    Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

    What, pray, will change?

    Mark II (no, that is not a New Testament reference.)


  26. 69
    Drake's Drum says:

    Not so much a reshuffle of the deckchairs as a re-arranging of the footstools.


  27. 72
    Anjem and Madonna? says:


    • 76
      Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

      They do get some things right then… :-)


      • 101
        Contradiction says:

        ‘Muslim Madonna’ ? (And that is knowing of the young lady he refers to.)


        • 116
          Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

          Some people are named Christian. Here it is often Kristian.

          It is primarily their name, not a reflection of their creed – any more than Peter, another Christian name, is.

          Suppose one of these wished to become a Muslim? Then you are going to witness a Muslim Christian.


          • Casual Observer 3 says:

            When people convert to !slam they generally take a new !slamic name.


          • Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

            If I wanted to convert to Islam, if…, I would certainly not wish to change my name! :-D


          • Casual Observer 3 says:

            Just checked – this is another screwed up UK Muzzie or incorrectly publicized ‘convention’.

            Qu’ran: Verse (33:5)

            There is no requirement for converts to change their name, and the Qu’ran is clear that family name should not be changed if name is changed. Apparently family roots are important.

            It is recommended to change first name if that name has a non-halal meaning. There is no requirement to change to an A’rabic name. Women are encouraged to keep their fathers name rather than adopting the western convention of taking their husband’s name.


          • Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

            TBF Pаuline Christianity is just as fucked up as Islam. Flying Spaghetti Monster for me.


          • Casual Observer 3 says:

            Monster or Machine ?

            Either way Spaghetti is Halal flying or otherwise, so should be fine.


          • Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

            Monster it should be. We are talking of deity, you know! ;-)

            Halal may be universal where you are but no trace of it exists where I live.

            [Blue screen moment occurred whilst writing this but picked it up in cache so reposted next morning - has Allah got it in for me? :-)]


    • 79
      Madonna says:

      On second thoughts. Thanks but no thanks.


    • 119
      Mornington Crescent says:

      Try telling girls in Rochdale that, Anjem.


    • 148
      Madonna says:

      “Y’all better vote for fucking Obama, OK? For better or for worse, we have a black Muslim in the White House,” “That’s some amazing sit. It means there is hope in this country.”



    • 178
      Calidius Eroticus says:

      What makes me laugh is how comedy Anjem bangs on about jihad and other bollox, while safely ensconced in his benefit funded comfort. Yet somewhere in Africa there is a twenty odd year old white girl running round with a gun, actually fighting jihad.

      One is a misguided fool. The other is just a prick.


      • 338
        Fictitious bogie men or women as the case may be says:

        Are you refering to the elusive ‘ White Widow’ that Keyser Soze figure much loved by The Daily Mail ?


        • 354
          Bethan Jenkins wears slippers in her car. says:

          I’m sure I saw her in Bridgend yesterday.
          She was selling the Big Issue.


          • The Daily Fable says:

            She couldnt have been in Bridgend as The Daily Mail reported she was in that shopping Mall directing the killings ‘cept of course she wasn’t .


    • 362
      JH2349809850934 says:

      Yeah, Muslim women are really respected for their intellect.

      That’s why they don’t like them going to school.

      If they get too clever, throwing rocks at their heads tends to lower their measurable IQ a bit.


  28. 75
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Some results from another poll on the TV debtate:


    Preference for 4 way debate:

    UKIP:  93%
    CON :  52%
    LD  :  43%
    LAB :  37%

    So it would seem that Labour are least in favor of pluracy in the debate.

    Perhaps because they are worried they are losing a lot of votes to UKIP, and their focus groups have confirmed this.


    • 80
      Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

      Labour are favour of pleurisy in the NHS.

      Fixed it for you. ;-)


      • 85
        Casual Observer 3 says:

        See below. Whatever idiot came up with ‘auto word complete with no easy way to turn it off’ should be dressed in a badger suit and thrown at Dave.


    • 82
      Casual Observer 3 says:

      Damned auto-word-guessing-mong-apple-crap. Scratch pluracy should be plurality / inclusive.


      • 84
        Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

        Apple? I would have thought you would have resisted that oldest fall from grace! :-D


    • 104
      Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

      Labour are far more frightened of UKIP than the Tories because, apart from that small part of Britain that is the south-east, far more people are deserting Labour than the Tories for UKIP.


  29. 77
    Anonymous says:

    Richard Benyon OUT

    One token of justice, after destroying our heritage by knowingly giving it away to a group of incompetent and dangerous idiots. He had the proof and ignored it. Nothing was to get in the way of the plan.


    • 86
      Enquirer says:

      The Times has it that he has gone because of his leaky tap issue. To which particular aspect of his past do you refer?


  30. 81
    poor as feck says:

    @least William Wallace was hung,drawn,quartered , not twittered


  31. 83
    Bloody Norah. Quick legislation required here. says:

    Law ‘does not prohibit’ sex-selection abortions, DPP warns



    • 91
      The Left ♥ Murder says:

      If they tried to change the legislation, the left would be up in arms as this would be affecting a woman’s right to arbitrarily kill her unborn child.


    • 102
      Dave says:

      I will have to consult with the BBC and Sam first.


  32. 88
    Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

    But what, pray, will change?

    Mark III (no, still not a New Testament reference.)


  33. 99
    Owen Jones says:

    Marijuana is illegal but has never caused any deaths from usage. Cigarettes kill millions and they are legal and can be purchased anywhere.


  34. 105
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Rearranging the deck chairs.


    • 122
      Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

      You can’t tell them. They are not listening!

      Mark IIII (no, still not a New Testament reference.)


      • 166
        Curly says:

        Do you know that the Romans had no symbol for zero?


      • 226
        Ailurophile says:

        Mark IIII?

        IIII versus IV. Always a great horological debate, but dates from Sundials.



        • 246
          Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

          As a Libertarian you should automatically be suspicious of subtractive systems!

          This becomes clearer when you realise that one of the few exceptions to the common use of IIII on clock faces is on the Elizabeth Tower (using IV) which, if it were to collapse westwards, would fill the Speakers Court and end up pointing accusative at the Commons Chamber.


  35. 113
    Sajid Javid Fan Club says:

    Oi, Oi, Sajid Javid on the up!


  36. 120
    yawning says:

    Who cares which liblabcon traitor does what?


  37. 121
    Another Royal favourite says:


  38. 123
    Dave and Nick says:

    In this reshuffle, we will be replacing people who few have heard of, with people even fewer have heard of.


  39. 124
    C.O.Jones says:

    And the job for Tory Election Campaign Manager goes to………. …

    Ed Miliband.


  40. 128
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    How interesting. Lots of people we have never heard off are shuffled off to be replaced by people we have never heard of.


    • 163
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      A bunch of talentless,lying,thieving LibLabCon traitors make way for another bunch of talentless,lying,thieving LibLabCon traitors.


  41. 131
    Dav says:

    Rumour is that John Hayes is on his way out


  42. 134
    Mornington Crescent says:

    “You have done such a fantastic job…”

    …so fantastic, you’re fired.


  43. 135
    simon r says:

    If anything perfectly sums up the bad judgement and f***wittery of Cameron it is the Chloe Smith saga – over promoted, moved sideways and now she is off.

    How much has she pulled in on top of her salary had she remained a back bencher ?


  44. 140
    Owen Jones says:

    Is it worth buying Royal Mail shares?


  45. 142
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Jezza Browne ‘too right wing’ ?


  46. 145
    Oh hell I pressed submit says:

    I see McVey has been stupidly promoted, she’s a real Camoron even down to voting to want to go deeper into the EU, problem is she won’t get back in 2015, from what I see the only time we know about her is the local rag telling us about her and the other local mp’s expenses, email her and get a load of Camoron crap back I hope she realises as employment minister, Wirral is a bad spot for employment as it seems most of Poland is here and if your not Polish then you get the crap jobs if available, so I’ve heard, even voting Liebour would be a better bet.


    • 151
      Merseysider says:

      UKIP for me. And others.


    • 152
      P l e b says:

      Rewarded for her treatment of the sick and disabled.


    • 161
      M103 says:

      Esther McVey Employment Minister now, Hoban sacked, maybe because he was prepared to at least listen to disability groups, etc. Mcvey will be even more ruthless, but may also overstretch herself as Smith has done.


      • 325
        REALWORLDER says:

        How many employment ministers have actually employed anyone apart from a Fillipina nanny on expenses


    • 164
      (optional) says:

      She is also a complete airhead who was out of her depth presenting low brow daytime “women’s shows” on obscure satellite channels years ago. She is completely out of her depth now. The fact that she is also Liverpudlian and a Tory makes me hate her more.


  47. 146
    Sir William Waid says:

    Were it not for the Cult of Personality in our politics, we might have heard of these people.


  48. 153
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Is Larry being reshuffled to make way for Freya?


  49. 158
    The Piss soaked tramp known as TAT says:

    BOOM! The big one lands: Susan Kramer replaces Norman Baker at transport.


  50. 162
    nah nah nah says:

    Who are these people? Where did they come from? Why are they being given money for nothing? What are they going to do to us?


  51. 168
    Norman King says:

    The Telegraph are this morning touting the potential return to the front bench of Liam Fox in Cameron’s reshuffle.

    If true, there could be no clearer sign that this government is exhausted of talent and morally bankrupt


  52. 170
    Mornington Crescent says:

    “Home Secretary Theresa May will be questioned by MPs as to why an al-Qaeda terror suspect captured in Libya was previously given asylum in Britain.”


    Why TF should she be questioned?? And by Vazolene, to boot.

    He was given asylum in Britain a year after the Embassy bombings in… 1998.

    Another multicultural enrichment of Britain, courtesy of Labour.


    • 177
      Arabian Gulf (kindly donated by the Persians a few years ago says:

      Somebody should ask the same question of Yemeni Vaz


      • 189
        Penfold says:

        He was a greasy oik when at Hounslow


        • 272
          Pick litter for bennies says:

          Vaz was prominent in getting Elizabeth Filkin,Parliaments sleezebuster,fired when she started to look into his morals.


          • Then I woke up and realised it wasn't a dream says:

            At least they havent made him the chairman of the Parliamentary Ethics and Standards committee else we would be really fucked. That would be really mental if that ever happened.


  53. 172
    Norman King says:

    The Telegr@ph are this morning touting the potential return to the front bench of Li@m Fux in Cameron’s reshuffle.

    If true, there could be no clearer sign that this government is exhausted of talent and morally bankrupt


  54. 182
    Observer says:

    “Helen Grant is Parliamentary Under Secretary of State (Sport and Equalities) at DCMS.”
    Ah, the equalisation of sport: the prizes-for-all mentality remains…


  55. 183
    Oakham Man says:

    Either Hunt or Osborne should be sacked. One of them must be lying.
    Hunt, “we can’t afford a 1% pay rise for nurses”
    Osborne “the economy is on the mend”
    A line of argument worth pursuing?


  56. 184
    Jimmy Carr says:

    An empty taxi drew up outside NO:10 and the cabinet got out.


  57. 185
    Yah Yah says:

    Osborne, Beaker & Javid. What hope have we got ?


  58. 188
    Penfold says:

    Musical chairs in the asylum………


  59. 190
    Norman Baker says:

    Of course I believe in flying saucers, one landed in my garden only the other day and told me I would be getting good news.

    It’s only these people who see conspiracies everywhere who don’t believe.


  60. 192
    The all singing-all dancing crap of the world is upon us. says:

    Labour voting Dug Crap!


  61. 194
    Anonymous says:

    WTF Clearly very handy with a cock but what has Matt Hancock ever done apart from being Osbourne’s fluffer and doing all his briefing against other MP’s. Kissing ass clearly pays off for some.


  62. 195
    Anonymous says:

    Clearly very handy with a cock but what has Matt Hancock ever done apart from being Osbourne’s fluffer and doing all his briefing against other MP’s. Kissing ass clearly pays off for some.


  63. 201
    Enoch Powell's Ghost says:

    Sam Gyimah appointed a Whip. You see, just as I predicted!


  64. 203
    Esther McVey is a says:



  65. 204
    A good Lib Dem says:

    I thought Jeremy Browne was quite good, actually.


  66. 206
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    “Blackout risk this winter highest in a decade, warns the National Grid. The Grid said reserve supplies of electricity will be wafer thin after a dramatic fall in the amount of coal-based power plants operating across the UK.”

    Maybe it will have to come to blackouts to kick the alternative energy zealots and incompetent self serving politicians in the balls.


    • 237
      The BBC, The Greens, Labour and Liberals says:

      If there are blackouts, we will blame them all on Conservative policies. And people will believe us.


  67. 207
    Trial set for April says:

    I doubt Rolf will last till April.


  68. 208
    Juan Kerr says:

    I bet all of these appointments would score zero on Pointless.


  69. 211
    Screwed Taxpayer having to fund all these bastards. says:

    Fucking career politician parasites. We don’t need any of them.


  70. 212
    nellnewman says:

    Isn’t this what they call small fry?

    I think the labour one is going to be much more fun to watch.


  71. 213
    Out & about with the Edinburgh dogshite says:

    Twigg was fucking useless!


  72. 215
    Juan Kerr says:

    Surprised Greening’s kept her job. Also (no surprise) no promotion for any of the Syrian rebels.


  73. 216
    Andy Burn'em says:

    I’m staying yeeeah!
    Ed knowns I did a damn good job at Stafford.

    Now where is my eye-liner gone?


  74. 219
    The British media are cunts says:

    I hear bum boy Burnham is refusing to go. Good. He’s such a mong.


  75. 220
    Doris Goldblatt says:

    The BBC understands that Guido Fawkes will keep his current position as a trainee right wing political blogger..


  76. 223
    Great British Public says:

    Baroness Stowell? Can’t remember electing her for anything. Baroness Kramer? Isn’t she that u/s libdem kicked out by Zac?


  77. 227
    Andy Burnham says:



  78. 229
    A Miliband says:

    I hate all these counterrevolutionary shits. Democracy is a sham.


  79. 243
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    So who’s running the Department of Gay marriage and Bum sex?


  80. 247
    Joss Taskin says:

    Has Ed Balls been put in charge of paperclips ?


    • 305
      Hopeless Ed Miliband says:

      No, we don’t trust him after he sold the party stapler to Danny Alexander then put the money on a horse in the 3.30 at Kempton. I strongly suspect it’s Ed who keeps leaving drawing pins on my seat. Ouch!


  81. 248



  82. 250
    Chuka is a large Space says:

    Europe’s largest accelerator space for technology businesses innovating in the finance, retail and future cities sectors.

    Canary Wharf, London


  83. 257
    Liam Byrned says:

    Hi Guys,

    I’m a c unt!

    See ya!


  84. 258
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:



    • 262
      RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

      I’ve got my Party back ! We’re aaawight ! We’re aaaawiiight !!! We’re aaaaaawwiiiiight !!


  85. 261
  86. 263
    jeeeeeeezus says:

    Nobodies replaced by cloned nobodies, and nobody gives a flying fook.


  87. 265
    The Labour Leader who Hates Britain says:

    If Red Ed went any more left he would be coming back. His Dad would have been proud though.


  88. 266
    Burnham should be in prison says:

    So in the end, the Son of Brown did just like Gordon and bottled it.


    • 280
      Andy Burnham and Labour are cold-hearted nasty murderers. Fact. says:


      Miliband the Weak.

      Miliband the mass-murderer’s friend.


  89. 269
  90. 269
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:



    • 282
      The BBC, speaking with one voice, says:

      This is all the Conservative’s doing.


    • 288
      Casual Observer 3 says:

      This combined with some possible industrial action.

      Winter of discontent being engineered ?


    • 291
      Pick litter for bennies says:

      It is a Governments duty to plan 10yrs ahead when planning energy requirements.Hmmmm,who was in charge 10yrs ago?.


      • 331
        The LabLibCon is Le fcuked says:

        In 2008 the Climate Change Act was introduced by Ed Miliband.

        The cost of energy for the average home was £1,044, today it is close to £1,500.

        The levy and subsidy paid by the consumer in 2008 was zero, today the consumer levy and subsidy is £425.

        Has anyone done the math’s here?


  91. 271
    Gordon Brown says:

    Adolphe Miliband’s gravestone would do just fine for my grave.

    Writer, Teacher, Socialist.


  92. 273
    Vazeline® - The Slipperiest Substance On The Planet says:

    Who deals with the committees in general and the Home Affairst Select Committee in particular, I’d the first to say that I should be long gone!!!

    Why am I still here?


  93. 277
    Observer says:

    Jack Dromey is sacked? Does one detect a parting of the ways with Mrs Dromey?


  94. 284
    The Day after Mrs Thatche Died. OWEN JONES says:

    “In the coming days, some on the right will attempt to snuff out criticism of her legacy, arguing that it is somehow disrespectful, spiteful or ghoulish. Absurd, of course: she was a politician “


    Yet he, OWEN JONES was the one shrieking about writing truthful things about the political activist Adolphe Miliband


  95. 285
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP


    • 312
      Hopeless Ed Miliband says:

      Yes, please vote for Ukip. They’re my only chance!


      • 328
        Tactical UKIP voter says:

        Delighted to help. And soon after you enter No 10 with your leftie friends, the IMF will have to be called in. So there’ll be another election with a new Real Conservative government replacing the current weak left winger and most of his cronies.


  96. 287
    Handycock says:

    Why have I been overlooked in the reshuffle?


  97. 290
    Gadarene fuckpigs of multiplicity says:

    I used to know Nick Wood from his days at the Sunday Times. He even came to see me at my home once.


    The hair may have gone from dark to grey and the face is fuller but his brain is sharper than ever.

    It is easy for those who criticise the Mail branding Ralph Miliband “the man who hated Britain”. But he thinks it was justified because Ed cites him often enough when it suits.

    I totally agree.


  98. 292
    Domestic Violence a certainty says:


    • 313
      Harriet harmans all woman shortlist ( for exemptions see appendix entitled 'Family members') says:

      Has on of Harmans siblings got Jacks old job ?


    • 323
      Hattie's butler says:

      Dromey’s going to get it tonight from his missus – and not in a good way!


  99. 294
    Juan Kerr says:

    Nothing for Stella then. Don’t agree with her much but she comes across as far more intelligent than Creagh, Eagle, De Piero, Kendall, Reynolds and Reeves.


    • 311
      Banks still robbing us blind says:

      Take out an evil pay day loan for £100 and after a week you owe £13 interest on top of the capital. Go £100 into an ‘unauthorised ‘ overdraft with the banks and at the end of the week they will take £80 off you on top of the capital. Now Stella, which is worse ?


      • 333
        Financial Adviser says:

        Very simple solution sweetie. Don’t take one out, live within your means instead.


        • 349
          self righteous sanctimonious prick watch says:

          Yes Mr Smart arse but her core vote comprises of people who struggle financialLy and the banks are robbing them blind,so thats ok then !


  100. 297
    Burnham should be in prison says:

    It really is beyond hilarious how utterly weak Miliband is. Too weak to sack Balls and Burnham and too weak to stand up to the unions. A joke leader of a joke party.


  101. 299
    Luciana Burger with Lies says:

    How many more cocks do I need to suck before I get a serious promotion in the shadow cabinet?


  102. 300
    Anonymous says:

    Just think… Claire Perry with a whip.


  103. 307
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Bob Constantine ‏@BobConstantine 45m
    Apart from reshuffle, my report on Liam Fox’s 3p mileage claim. I drove that route and it shd have bn 40p!! @itvwestcountry


  104. 314
    Hopeless Ed Miliband says:

    There’s a hole in my pockets,
    Dear voter, dear voter,
    There’s a hole in my pockets,
    Dear voter, a hole.


  105. 317
    Mr. & Mrs. Anglo Saxon says:

    Dear Mr. Cameron,

    I’m planning to move my family and extended family to Pak1stan for my health and I would like to ask you to assist me with this.

    We’re planning to simply fly from Britain to Pak!stan and we’ll need your help to make a few arrangements.

    We plan to skip all of the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

    I’m sure they handle those things in the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Asif Ali Zardari, that I’m on my way over?

    Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

    1. Free medical care for my entire family.

    2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

    3. All Pak!stani Government forms must be printed in English.

    4. I want my grandkids to be taught Urdu by English speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

    5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on British culture and history.

    6. I want my grandkids to see the British flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

    7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast (Bacon & Eggs) and lunch.
    8. I will need a local Pak1stan1 driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.
    9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Pak!stan, but I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won’t make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

    10. In case one of the Pak!stan! police officers does not get the memo from President Zardari to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

    11. I plan to fly the British flag from my housetop, put British Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on December 25th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

    12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labour or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

    13. Please have President Zardari tell all of the Pak!stan! people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

    14. I want to receive free food stamps.

    15. Naturally, I’ll expect free rent subsidies.

    16. I’ll need income tax credits so that although I won’t pay Pakistani taxes, I’ll receive money from the government.

    17. Please arrange it so that the Pak!stan Government pays me £4,500.00 to help me buy a new car.

    18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enrol me free into the Pak!stan Social Security program so that I’ll get a monthly pension cheque in retirement.

    I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all of his people who fly to Britain from Pak!stan . I am sure that President Zardari won’t mind returning the favour if you ask him nicely.

    Thank you so much for your kind help,

    Yours sincerely,

    Mr & Mrs Anglosaxon


  106. 326
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Apart from reshuffle, my report on Liam Fox's 3p mileage claim. I drove that route and it shd have bn 40p!! @itvwestcountry— Bob Constantine (@BobConstantine) October 7, 2013


  107. 332
    Eardestappa says:

    George Eustice. Can anyone shed any light on his unusual educational career and what happened at Cornwall College? Given he now has his first job.

    Westminster Parliamentary Record

    Truro School

    Truro Cathedral School
    Further Education

    Cornwall College (Degree unknown, Year unknown)


  108. 336
    Anonymous says:

    Why was Mark Prisk fired with no replacement announced. Who turned it down?


  109. 346
    Me & mine are not answerable to the useless Alison arsewipes of the world. Deal with that reality! says:

    Oh aren’t we the lucky ones!


  110. 347
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe he’ll get it right next Spring.


  111. 352
    A man at the BBC says:

    I’m so glad that Rachel Reeves has gone on to bigger things after doing the voiceover for Boycie on Only Fools and Horses.


Seen Elsewhere

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Find out more about PLMR

Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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