October 4th, 2013

Simon Burns Quits as Minister to Run For Deputy Speaker

Likely to lose his Transport minister job in the upcoming reshuffle anyway, Simon Burns is resigning to run for Deputy Speaker. Tory MPs will relish the chance to give the job to the man who called Bercow a “stupid sanctimonious dwarf”…

Via Tim Shipman



  1. 1
    Jabba Le Chat says:

    “the man who called Bercow a “stupid sanctimonious dwarf”…”

    Move to the front of the queue immediately…


    • 8
      local wind says:

      and better entertainment than nads or the other doris


    • 10
      Isn't Evans coming back? says:

      Shouldn’t it go to someone with a safe seat like Jack Harman or Luciana Berger?


    • 14
      tn02 says:

      But lots of J*wish men are short is stature, it’s due to genetic reasons associated with the practice of endogamy within his group. He couldn’t help it.

      However, he did the right thing in marrying a very tall women, assuming that is, if they have kids…he is the father.


      • 26
        Round the Bend says:

        ‘Endogamy': is that to protest against dogging?


        • 39

          Endogamy is the practice of marrying within a specific ethnic group, class, or social group, rejecting others on such basis as being unsuitable for marriage or other close personal relationships. Endogamy is common in many cultures and ethnic groups. Several ethnic religious groups are traditionally more endogamous, although sometimes with the added dimension of requiring marital religious conversion. This permits an exogamous marriage, as the convert, by accepting the partner’s religion, becomes accepted within the endogamous rules. Certain groups, such as Orth*dox J*ws, have practised endogamy as an inherent part of their religious beliefs and traditions.


    • 20
      winston says:

      jacob rees moggie would be perfecto


    • 34
      Engineer says:

      Bercow has managed to weedle his way into a £140,000 a year plus expenses job, so he can’t be that stupid. He’s also not quite short enough to be a dwarf.

      I can’t argue with ‘sanctimonious’, though.


    • 57
      I Duncan S says:

      Poor little John, coming under attack from such parliamentary heavyweights as Mickey Fabricant, the Lichfield wig model.

      His physical features pale into insignificance when compared to the fact that he was a former secretary of the racist Monday Club.

      I am not as ‘thick’ as ‘Pasty George ‘ suggests.

      Will I have time to stand for the job before I am sacked?


  2. 2
    GAS says:

    He has an awful smoker voice. Just no


  3. 3
    Oy Vey says:

    Yes, because if the last few years have taught us anything, petty squabbles between colleagues is excellent for politics


  4. 4
    Bulldog chewing a wasp says:

    What a handsome looking fellow.


    • 7
      Greater Anglia says:

      It great when he decided to show everyone that he could commute by train into work from Chelmsford without using his ministerial car.

      He didn’t get a seat and fell asleep in the House later that afternoon.

      I’ve never seen him on the train since…..


  5. 5
    Grumpy says:

    John “The Weasel” Bercow is reported to have said “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s orf to work we go….”.


  6. 6
    Lord Adonis says:

    Fuck me!…he looks like the elephant man John Merrick!


  7. 9
    Ann Sard says:

    He obtained a 3rd at Oxford which is why his nickname is Third Degree Burns.


    • 12
      Ed Miliband says:

      I got a blue at Oxford. I would have got the pink but ended up snookered behind the bl@ck.


      • 17
        you're on the spot ed... says:

        if you had been playing me you’d have ended up black and blue with the tip of my cue and anything else handy sticking out your bumhole tiger


    • 48
      Cousin Jasper says:

      “You want either a First or a Fourth. [Fourths are no longer awarded.] There is no value in anything in between. Time spent on a good second is time thrown away …


  8. 16
    The Landy is Dead says:

    The Land Rover, the world’s longest-serving vehicle, is to cease production



  9. 19
    jmf says:

    I see Bercow has a beer named after him. I wonder if there is a beer called slapper.


  10. 21
    Owen Jones says:

    If the FIFA World Cup is going to be played in Qatar then I hope Israel win the tournament with 11 gay players.


  11. 24
    Paniagua v5 says:

    Shame Cameron doesn’t also resign to run for the position.


  12. 27
    footie says:

    completely OT but what a joke fifa are – absolutely ridiculous to be having to consider moving world cup to winter


    • 29
      Snow Go says:

      They should never have taken the bribes and awarded it to Qatar.

      Holding the world cup in a Qatar summer is like holding the world’s beach volley ball championship in Antarctica winter.


    • 30
      Ma­qb­oul says:

      It was the price paid by Blatter for having Qatar remove their candidate for president of FIFA. Bin Hammam withdraws; Blatter elected by his patrons unopposed; Qatar mysteriously wins 2022 World Cup. Coincidence probably.

      I do hope rumours of the FBI investigating FIFA are true. Or is it the other way round?


    • 31
      Seph Batter says:

      I could answer that rhetorical question. But you can’t afford my ‘charge’ for the answer.


    • 35
      footie says:

      quite agree the whole bid process was flawed and splatta is dead centre


  13. 28
    geordieboy says:

    Bercow doesn’t ask for a G&T at the bar it is normally a cyanide laced with arsenic. Hence the nickname “The Poison Dwarf”


  14. 38
    Anon E Mouse says:

    I also heard there’s a rumour that he’s looking to give Boris an easy entry into Westminster.


  15. 54
    cityferret says:

    interesting comment regarding twitter’s intended ipo under the title TWTR

    Twitter lists a number of risk factors in the filing, noting that the business could be harmed if “influential users, such as world leaders, government officials, celebrities, athletes, journalists, sports teams, media outlets and brands or certain age demographics” conclude that an alternative product or service is more relevant; they are unable to convince potential new users of the value and usefulness of our products and services; or they are unable to combat spam or other hostile or inappropriate usage on the platform.


  16. 60
    Lexander says:

    Does anybody remember great Speakers like Sir Harry ? Had a large penis as I recall !


  17. 62
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    The French would describe Burns’ nose as ‘retroussé’. The rest of us would see it more as a well troughed snout.


  18. 63
    b-b-p says:

    We the General Public are no more than an irritating means to an end.To be able to call Britain a Democracy Politicians and Parliament have to be Legitimised and to support that front we are allowd to openly vote for a particular Candidate to Represent us in the Houses of Parliament.To promote ,openness’ PMs Question Time and many issues are Televised from there so we are reasonably satisfied that ‘Democracy is at Work’.
    But what don’t we see behind closed doors is another matter.Mp’s totally rejecting the proposal that we the Public should be able to sack them.Why – because they then become accountable on two fronts the Party Whips and Us.Do they represent Us or toe the Party Line.They toe the Party line.
    PM’s Question Time is a totally staged manged process the questions being asked have prepared answers scripted by researchers for Cameron to read from so the whole process is a forgone Conclusion.The procedure is no better than a rehearsed TV Soap.
    The Immigration issue is not a Rascist one but PC is forced upon us to legitimise lengthy discussion on minorities Cultural personal or religious preferences to ours.
    We have Cameron and Hughes as speakers to Muslim Communities addressing them in their native Language to create a false sense of belonging when all they want is their vote because they are struggling for English votes.The Veil Saga is a prime example,where was the support given to two English workers for wearing a cross.
    It is about time we the Electorate shook our Deceitful Political System up,it is in the same category as ATOS Assessments,Workfare,the Bedroom Tax,Tutition Fees and Benefit Sanctions – not fit for purpose.You vote for a Party Agenda and not what an individual MP says he stands for.BSB



  19. 64

    Now I am going to do my breakfast, when having my breakfast coming again to read other news.


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