October 4th, 2013

Simon Burns Quits as Minister to Run For Deputy Speaker

Likely to lose his Transport minister job in the upcoming reshuffle anyway, Simon Burns is resigning to run for Deputy Speaker. Tory MPs will relish the chance to give the job to the man who called Bercow a “stupid sanctimonious dwarf”…

Via Tim Shipman



  1. 1
    Jabba Le Chat says:

    “the man who called Bercow a “stupid sanctimonious dwarf”…”

    Move to the front of the queue immediately…

  2. 2
    GAS says:

    He has an awful smoker voice. Just no

  3. 3
    Oy Vey says:

    Yes, because if the last few years have taught us anything, petty squabbles between colleagues is excellent for politics

  4. 4
    Bulldog chewing a wasp says:

    What a handsome looking fellow.

  5. 5
    Grumpy says:

    John “The Weasel” Bercow is reported to have said “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s orf to work we go….”.

  6. 6
    Lord Adonis says:

    Fuck me!…he looks like the elephant man John Merrick!

  7. 7
    Greater Anglia says:

    It great when he decided to show everyone that he could commute by train into work from Chelmsford without using his ministerial car.

    He didn’t get a seat and fell asleep in the House later that afternoon.

    I’ve never seen him on the train since…..

  8. 8
    local wind says:

    and better entertainment than nads or the other doris

  9. 9
    Ann Sard says:

    He obtained a 3rd at Oxford which is why his nickname is Third Degree Burns.

  10. 10
    Isn't Evans coming back? says:

    Shouldn’t it go to someone with a safe seat like Jack Harman or Luciana Berger?

  11. 11
    Glib bastard says:

    Or maybe the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

    “The Division bells. The Division bells….”

  12. 12
    Ed Miliband says:

    I got a blue at Oxford. I would have got the pink but ended up snookered behind the bl@ck.

  13. 13
    Sally * drooling* says:

    oh you handsome cove you ..

  14. 14
    tn02 says:

    But lots of J*wish men are short is stature, it’s due to genetic reasons associated with the practice of endogamy within his group. He couldn’t help it.

    However, he did the right thing in marrying a very tall women, assuming that is, if they have kids…he is the father.

  15. 15
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Perhaps the Hunchback under Big Ben ?

  16. 16
    The Landy is Dead says:

    The Land Rover, the world’s longest-serving vehicle, is to cease production


  17. 17
    you're on the spot ed... says:

    if you had been playing me you’d have ended up black and blue with the tip of my cue and anything else handy sticking out your bumhole tiger

  18. 18
    TheCurse of Jonah 5 years on says:

  19. 19
    jmf says:

    I see Bercow has a beer named after him. I wonder if there is a beer called slapper.

  20. 20
    winston says:

    jacob rees moggie would be perfecto

  21. 21
    Owen Jones says:

    If the FIFA World Cup is going to be played in Qatar then I hope Israel win the tournament with 11 gay players.

  22. 22
    jmf says:

    11 Lezzers would be better.

  23. 23
    Justine Greening says:

    Sorry I didn’t hear them.

  24. 24
    Paniagua v5 says:

    Shame Cameron doesn’t also resign to run for the position.

  25. 25
    Extinction of the Homo says:

    Now that homosexuals no longer have to marry a woman to keep up appearances, will the Gay gene disappear in just a few generations?

  26. 26
    Round the Bend says:

    ‘Endogamy': is that to protest against dogging?

  27. 27
    footie says:

    completely OT but what a joke fifa are – absolutely ridiculous to be having to consider moving world cup to winter

  28. 28
    geordieboy says:

    Bercow doesn’t ask for a G&T at the bar it is normally a cyanide laced with arsenic. Hence the nickname “The Poison Dwarf”

  29. 29
    Snow Go says:

    They should never have taken the bribes and awarded it to Qatar.

    Holding the world cup in a Qatar summer is like holding the world’s beach volley ball championship in Antarctica winter.

  30. 30
    Ma­qb­oul says:

    It was the price paid by Blatter for having Qatar remove their candidate for president of FIFA. Bin Hammam withdraws; Blatter elected by his patrons unopposed; Qatar mysteriously wins 2022 World Cup. Coincidence probably.

    I do hope rumours of the FBI investigating FIFA are true. Or is it the other way round?

  31. 31
    Seph Batter says:

    I could answer that rhetorical question. But you can’t afford my ‘charge’ for the answer.

  32. 32

    It was a bit mean to call him a dwarf!

  33. 33
    Tin-Tin says:

    Just think of the cold nipples.

  34. 34
    Engineer says:

    Bercow has managed to weedle his way into a £140,000 a year plus expenses job, so he can’t be that stupid. He’s also not quite short enough to be a dwarf.

    I can’t argue with ‘sanctimonious’, though.

  35. 35
    footie says:

    quite agree the whole bid process was flawed and splatta is dead centre

  36. 36

    Did you per chance read my comment before you posted your comment?

  37. 37
    green ink says:

    perhaps his shoulder chips are a tad heavy and that slag hes married to weighs him down a bit

  38. 38
    Anon E Mouse says:

    I also heard there’s a rumour that he’s looking to give Boris an easy entry into Westminster.

  39. 39

    Endogamy is the practice of marrying within a specific ethnic group, class, or social group, rejecting others on such basis as being unsuitable for marriage or other close personal relationships. Endogamy is common in many cultures and ethnic groups. Several ethnic religious groups are traditionally more endogamous, although sometimes with the added dimension of requiring marital religious conversion. This permits an exogamous marriage, as the convert, by accepting the partner’s religion, becomes accepted within the endogamous rules. Certain groups, such as Orth*dox J*ws, have practised endogamy as an inherent part of their religious beliefs and traditions.

  40. 40

    Sock: perchance is one word. You never learn.

  41. 41
    Mad MacTaffy MacFuckaDuck. says:

    if I had to go home to that slag hes married to I’d need something considerably stronger than that chum

  42. 42
    Mad MacTaffy MacFuckaDuck. says:

    boris as a speaker … heaven

  43. 43

    I feel sorry for your father, sock.

    All those millions of spеrm and he had to end up with a сunt like you!

  44. 44
    Referee says:

    The Sock wins again!

  45. 45
    Referee says:


  46. 46

    Why? Is he short of a pseudonym as well?

  47. 47
    Referee says:


  48. 48
    Cousin Jasper says:

    “You want either a First or a Fourth. [Fourths are no longer awarded.] There is no value in anything in between. Time spent on a good second is time thrown away …

  49. 49
    Cloakroom attendant says:

    Are you going to tell lies about your father?

  50. 50
    lojolondon says:

    If that is really Michael Fabricant, then why does he have Claire Balding’s picture on his Twitter feed?

  51. 51
    ¶©®±¥§¿‖†‡∑∏∩√≠Ω℗‼ says:


    The only reason you require a sock is so your mum does not discover you have starched the sheets yet again.

  52. 52
    Referee says:

    4-0 (maybe a bonus point for forcing a reply in a different name)

  53. 53
    I Duncan S says:

    He was a joke according to the HS2 campaigners.

    Being one of John’s lapdogs seems appropriate.

    It just proves there is more than one ‘thikin’ in the government.

  54. 54
    cityferret says:

    interesting comment regarding twitter’s intended ipo under the title TWTR

    Twitter lists a number of risk factors in the filing, noting that the business could be harmed if “influential users, such as world leaders, government officials, celebrities, athletes, journalists, sports teams, media outlets and brands or certain age demographics” conclude that an alternative product or service is more relevant; they are unable to convince potential new users of the value and usefulness of our products and services; or they are unable to combat spam or other hostile or inappropriate usage on the platform.

  55. 55

    Iv’e never drank a beer called short arsed little twat!

  56. 56
    I Duncan S says:

    Nice photo of Mickey Fabricant.

    Has he been getting a new wig?

  57. 57
    I Duncan S says:

    Poor little John, coming under attack from such parliamentary heavyweights as Mickey Fabricant, the Lichfield wig model.

    His physical features pale into insignificance when compared to the fact that he was a former secretary of the racist Monday Club.

    I am not as ‘thick’ as ‘Pasty George ‘ suggests.

    Will I have time to stand for the job before I am sacked?

  58. 58
    one nation options says:

    several washings will do it but use some vanish

  59. 59
    Gordon Brownfinger says:

    Surely that’s dwarfism?
    Is it legal? Can we tax it?

  60. 60
    Lexander says:

    Does anybody remember great Speakers like Sir Harry ? Had a large penis as I recall !

  61. 61
    Winnie says:

    If I were married to Silly Bercow, I’d drink it.

  62. 62
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    The French would describe Burns’ nose as ‘retroussé’. The rest of us would see it more as a well troughed snout.

  63. 63
    b-b-p says:

    We the General Public are no more than an irritating means to an end.To be able to call Britain a Democracy Politicians and Parliament have to be Legitimised and to support that front we are allowd to openly vote for a particular Candidate to Represent us in the Houses of Parliament.To promote ,openness’ PMs Question Time and many issues are Televised from there so we are reasonably satisfied that ‘Democracy is at Work’.
    But what don’t we see behind closed doors is another matter.Mp’s totally rejecting the proposal that we the Public should be able to sack them.Why – because they then become accountable on two fronts the Party Whips and Us.Do they represent Us or toe the Party Line.They toe the Party line.
    PM’s Question Time is a totally staged manged process the questions being asked have prepared answers scripted by researchers for Cameron to read from so the whole process is a forgone Conclusion.The procedure is no better than a rehearsed TV Soap.
    The Immigration issue is not a Rascist one but PC is forced upon us to legitimise lengthy discussion on minorities Cultural personal or religious preferences to ours.
    We have Cameron and Hughes as speakers to Muslim Communities addressing them in their native Language to create a false sense of belonging when all they want is their vote because they are struggling for English votes.The Veil Saga is a prime example,where was the support given to two English workers for wearing a cross.
    It is about time we the Electorate shook our Deceitful Political System up,it is in the same category as ATOS Assessments,Workfare,the Bedroom Tax,Tutition Fees and Benefit Sanctions – not fit for purpose.You vote for a Party Agenda and not what an individual MP says he stands for.BSB


  64. 64

    Now I am going to do my breakfast, when having my breakfast coming again to read other news.

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