October 4th, 2013

Nads v Eleanor Laing For Deputy Speaker

As tipped by Guido, Nadine Dorries is throwing her hat into the ring for the Deputy Speaker job. Which certainly makes the race all the more interesting. Odds are shortening on Eleanor Laing, who has announced she is going to stand, is popular and hotly-tipped by Tory colleagues. She tells Guido she only thought of going for the job when she saw her name on this blog’s runners and riders. She denies she is Number 10’s candidate to the Standard.


  1. 1
    Jimmy says:

    It’s not April is it?

  2. 2
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    You’ll always be our resident fool Jimmy, so don’t fret :-)

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

    Can’t see Mad Nad being any improvement on Gorbals Mick or Johnny.

  5. 5

    Nads is far too controversial, has too many skeletons rattling in the cupboard and comes from the wrong side of the M40. Pity, because Parliament would be enlivened with her in the chair. I’ve barely heard of the other one, so she’d probably do well as Deputy Speaker

  6. 6

    Would you notice if it was?

  7. 7

    A Stuffed Camel would be an improvement of Gorbals Mick.

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Fist of Fury says:

    It’s my job and I will be taking it back.

  10. 10
    She'd be good at it says:

    Why not Abbotapotamus?

  11. 11
    Stand up comedy says:

    Have you ever been the front end of an ass Jimmy?


    Have you ever been the rear end of an ass Jimmy?


    Well you are no end of an ass Jimmy.

  12. 12
    Ma­qb­oul says:

    It’s when he switches from whisky to vodka.

  13. 13
    A Family Trust says:

    Nadine won’t do it if it means having to sack her two daughters.

  14. 14
    Fist of Fury says:

    Wrong side of the M40.

    WTF exactly where is Pendle then you idiot?

  15. 15
    A Weasel Speaks says:

    That list is hideously non-heterosexually male

  16. 16
    Paniagua v5 says:

    Simply because she is to fucking obese to stand as deputy speaker.

    She could sit or lie for the job however.

  17. 17
    Mrs Jack Dromey says:

    I may throw my ring into the hat.

  18. 18
    The robbing Bastard Speaker says:

    An empty chair would be an improvement on Gorbals Mick.

  19. 19

    The position is in the gift of the Conservative Party and Ms Abbott is a looney leftie.

  20. 20
    Correction says:


  21. 21
    Diane Abbongo-Bongott says:

    I can tweet as fast as I can think of something..here are samples of my work. I could be a good deputy wassit called. What’s the money like? Are there extra expenses?

    “Its raining today..hope I don’t get wet.”
    “Stand up for the people who cant stand up for themselves.”
    “Will be with Keith Vaz at the Stoke Newington kebab shop of the year awards- sounds yummy”
    ” Where are my shoes? I had them on when I left this morning”

  22. 22
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Only one to settle it, naked mud wrestling :-)

  23. 23
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    *one way

  24. 24
    Dirty Digger says:

    I heard that Nadine had been hotly tipped by many members and that she preferred the dark meat.

  25. 25
    I d on't n eed no d octor says:

    So the BBC witter on about Miliband vs the Daily Mail and decency. So why is the Daily Politics slagging off George Osbourne’s hair style.
    BBC – Double standards?

  26. 26

    Nads was born in Liverpool. I thought everyone knew that.

  27. 27
    triple dipper says:

    Is that Deborah Meaden on the right?

  28. 28

    Sorry, I was wrong about Liverpool, but Pendle is well North of the M 40. My point stands.

  29. 29
    Ralph Miliband Ate My Hamster says:

    Nicola Blackwood does it for me

  30. 30
    Terry Thomas says:

    Pip Pip, Toot Toot, Hubba Hubba, Ding Dong etc etc

  31. 31
    nellnewman says:

    Talk about overplaying his hand! How many more days is militwit going to witter on about his father as he tries to make political points out of it all?

    I think the public are fair fed up with it and him!

  32. 32
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Laing would be better value for money.

  33. 33
    Larry the Downing Street Cat says:

    MEEEHOOOWWWWWWZER – Can we make Nicola PM then I can sleep on her bed.

  34. 34
    AngTheBastards says:

    Laing is my MP.

    She is an dreadful constituency MP. I’m a lifelong Tory but won’t vote for her under any circumstances.

  35. 35
    Observant says:

    Your shoes are on your feet – out of sight.

  36. 36
    Sir William Waid says:

    Bercow and Dorries
    Morecambe and Wise
    French and Saunders
    Armstrong and Miller
    Wilson, Keppel and Betty

  37. 37
    The Polls says:

    Looks like you’re going to sleep on Red Ed’s bed Larry, surely that we be a case of animal cruelty, you’d better call the RSPCA Helpline.

  38. 38
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Certainly gives me wood. Fnarr fnarr.

  39. 39
    Rabbi Williams says:

    Sorry to interrupt, but when I’m at the Spurs match on Saturday I’m going to claim that I actually said ‘Yit’, if I get arrested.

  40. 40
    Maximus says:

    The other one is Scotch, and a Scotch lawyer to boot. Still like?

  41. 41
    Sir William Waid says:

    Warwick or Stratford – which is on the right side of the M40?

  42. 42
    Sam the Skull drinking Buckfast in Maryhill says:

    Larry should be replaced by a real mouser.

  43. 43
    Maximus says:

    Something tells me the creepy Bercow would rather like that.

  44. 44
    Boris Carloff says:

    I’m sick of hearing that miliband senior fought for his country. It reminds me of the late comedian Arthur Haynes referring to his life in the army as up to his knees in muck and bullets, and makes a mockery of the true heroes who have been wounded or died during their military service.
    Both my late father and father in law wee older than miliband and served the length of the war, starting when Miliband was 14-15 years old. They did their military service, but both would have considered saying ‘They fought for their country’ as a pure hypocritical statement. They simply did what was required of them.
    My grandfather fought in the First World War and was wounded by a bayonet, passing through his leg, in one side and out the other. He was also gassed and for years late was still being sick at the result. Even he would never be so arrogant to say he fought for his country. He simply did what was required of him and like most rarely mentioned it.
    This sick type of statement from red Ed shows how childish he is

  45. 45

    Google map is your friend.

  46. 46

  47. 47
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    I think someone is taking the piss with this thread.

  48. 48
    Sir William Waid says:

    Hermione Granger would do a better job. “Expelliamus!”

  49. 49

    Briscoe and Clifford in Court today. McShane in next month. All that we now need is for Bercow to be removed and for something to stick to Campbell.

  50. 50
    Sir William Waid says:

    Whereas Ralphie’s old man fought AGAINST his country.

  51. 51
    Sir William Waid says:

    Good goalie, though.

  52. 52
    Young Person Under 25 says:

    Before I get out of bed today I’m compiling a list of words that we’re not allowed to say. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

    The C word
    The F word
    The N word
    The Y word

    Hey, maybe we could fill up the complete alphabet! Great idea.

  53. 53
    Just askin' says:

    When exactly did Ralphie become British?

  54. 54
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    A limpet mine?

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    Why not? Because her fat posterior would not fit in the present chair & it would be a waste of taxpayers money buying a new chair. Apart from that she is totally unsuited for the job.

  56. 56
    Anonymous says:

    Let’s hope the public are of the same mind Nell when the GE arrives.

  57. 57
    Young Person Under 25 says:

    He he! My mum just told me Nads is a brand of hair removal product!

  58. 58
    Village Idiot says:

    …..New job for ed miliband!……..Milkman!

  59. 59
    geordieboy says:

    Scotch is a common term for whisky.A Scot is a person born and bred in Scotland and his father is Scottish.

  60. 60
    Lord Haw haw's mum says:

    I only found out my dad had been ”
    Mentioned in Dispatches” recently when researching the family history AND he never spoke about the war. He was a true hero

  61. 61
    geordieboy says:

    When did she last see her minge fringe without looking in a mirror?

  62. 62

    I look forward to seeing you in the dock too. What is the point in posting something that I just might have written myself?

  63. 63
    geordieboy says:

    Brown ring?

  64. 64
    Jack Ketch says:

    Do you mean when he received the right to a passport, or when he became a White, Anglo-Saxon, Christian, native of this land?

  65. 65
    Man On Clapham Omnibus says:

    GO NADS I say!

  66. 66
    Just askin' says:

    I mean when was he given British citizenship. Tried googling it but only found one ambiguous statement that “he was given British citizenship and became a lecturer in 1946″. If he only became British in 1946 then he was fighting for Belgium according to Ed.

  67. 67
    McPorrij says:

    “Laing”?? Isn’t that Scotch name? Do we really need another bloody interloper in these positions?

  68. 68
    Snarf says:

    If that happens, you will only be able to get red tops! [If you are old enough to remember them!]

  69. 69
    owen jones says:

    it was 35 years before my father told me he’d taken my mother up the valleys times in the old days when women stuck to making tea when we’re talking about leftie stuff.

  70. 70
    Snarf says:

    You can add the ‘D’ word and the ‘B’ word. Let’s hope I do not have to give you any further details.

  71. 71
    David Davis protege says:

    Nadine has it all. Positively rough and ready looked compared to the immaculate prim and proper look, even festooned with a tudor nay e’en scots rose look of Ms Cairns. She is looking milfier than ever and will therefore win!

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Wasn’t Eleanor Laing the one who played the expenses system so cleverly she avoided £180,000 of CGT without breaking the rules…and voted against disclosing expenses. I wonder why?!

  73. 73
    never trust an old boiler says:

    do know about that but I wouldn’t with yours

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    Was millieband ‘s dad conscripted or did he volunteer?

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Why are joke candidates always nominated for Speaker ? Nadine, im a celebrity contestant with the highest (on expenses) paid, office staff in westminster shouldnt even apply, she is a joke !

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    You cant miss the Liverpool bit, she is a professional scouser like Burnham !

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    How can the BBC justify the way they have acted about the Ralph Milliband saga ? it was the lead item on “Today” when 300 people had just drowned near Italy. I mean can we have some perspective please ?

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Can you imagine Milliband as PM ? he would take over from the Gillard woman for leader with the most punchable face !(i know she has had the boot)

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Who cares, Nadine paid her daughters £39,000 a year(one after the other) to be her secretaries.We can swap exies stories all morning but Nadine was also investigated forexpenses problems so i would keep my mouth shut if i were you.

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    I read in another thread on here that he was in the Belgian Navy but it was under the control of the UK Navy.He was a wireless operator,he was 15 in 1939 so i dont know when he joined up.He was also quoted as saying he wanted us to lose in the Falklands !

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    I have heard of Nair as a hair remover but not Nads.

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