October 1st, 2013

How Not to Prepare For the Reshuffle

One Tory who will be nervously awaiting news of the junior ministerial reshuffle is Stephen Hammond. The Transport under-secretary received both barrels from his boss Patrick McLoughlin after telling a fringe event the government is still considering 80mph speed limits. Despite McLoughlin having ruled it out. The Secretary of State wasn’t the only one to vent his anger, Guido is told the PM got involved in the slap down. Going to be an awkward few days…


69 Comments

  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    He can’t be any worse than the other Hammond

  2. 2

    Germany: no limits on the autobahn.

  3. 3
    I d on't n eed no d octor says:

    Not strictly true as there are limits in force.

  4. 4
    Private Member says:

    Has Homosexual Bill been here today?

  5. 5
    Chris Huhne says:

    Que?

  6. 6
    Chris Huhne says:

    Will it be retrospective?

  7. 7

    On some stretches, true.

    But there are thousands of kilometres free of limit.

  8. 8
    Gidders says:

    A lot speed limits are very sensible and others not, a lot of folks keep to the driving limit but issuing of a ticket doing 32 mph in a 30 mph zone is not very sensible doing 39 in 30 limit area fair enough, those doing quite a few mph over the limit are going to brake any speed limit away way. I wonder whether if Dave and co are considering increasing the amount of alcohol allowed in the blood when driving. Judging by the state of a lot of A roads (government responsibility) in some cases it is madness to speed, all those lovely pot holes and cracks.

  9. 9
    I d on't n eed no d octor says:

    Correct.

  10. 10
    Gidders says:

    Are the autobahns a lot straighter in Germany as it is a much bigger country?

  11. 11
    I d on't n eed no d octor says:

    A 30 mph speed limit means the maximum permissible speed is 30 mph. It doesn’t mean that you can do 32 mph and get away with it, otherwise the restriction is meaningless.

  12. 12
    Vicky Price says:

    +3 (points that is)

  13. 13
    I d on't n eed no d octor says:

    No, they have just as many bends as the uk, in fact around Saarland the bends seem tighter. Doesn’t stop them going very very fast though.

  14. 14
    Little-known fact says:

    No. When they built the autobahns they didn’t take into account that people fall asleep when driving in a straight line over long distances. When we came to build our motorways, we learned the lesson and added curvy bits to make them more interesting.

    (And their ‘unlimited’ motorways tend to have limits at night or when the road surface is wet.)

  15. 15
    Gidders says:

    Tell that to some of the drivers around our way, they all seem to be the same types of people, easy to guess the classes of driver.

  16. 16
    Gidders says:

    Geedes I am NOT talking about you

  17. 17
    Chris Huhne (for some odd reason, no longer in prison) says:

    Speed-limits are for little people.

  18. 18
    Pervo alert says:

    A former mayor of Cleethorpes has been found not guilty of performing a sex act in front of children after the prosecution offered no evidence.

    But Conservative councillor Keith Brookes, 67, was given a restraining order banning him from sunbathing naked in his garden for five years.

    He denied outraging public decency after being accused of committing a sex act when sunbathing in front of others.

    The prosecution withdrew its case at Grimsby Crown Court on Monday.

    The charge against Mr Brookes, of Bolingbroke Road, Cleethorpes, had stemmed from a sunbathing session in his garden on 13 July.

    After the prosecution withdrew its case, a formal not guilty verdict was recorded.

    The judge told the court: “The Crown has put no evidence of any sex act having taken place.”

    A spokeswoman for the Crown Prosecution Service said: “We have spoken with the complainants in this case who agree this is the most appropriate outcome.”

    She said the case was stopped on the basis that “it will no longer be in the public interest to prosecute”.

  19. 19
    Dr Strangelove says:

    I think you are allowed a bit of leeway for inaccuracy of speedometers

  20. 20
    David Cameron says:

    What-o, chaps! I’m a simply spiffing PM, aren’t I? My speech at conference will be top stuff, what what. Toodle pip.

  21. 21
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    If he is shuffled out, he could go to UKIP.

    From his web site:

    ‘As a proud Eurosceptic, S’tephen H’ammond strongly believes in the right of the British people to vote for their own future with Europe. S’tephen H’ammond wants to bring back national powers back to Britain and not leave them in the hands of B’russels. He is also wishes to see an introduction of a ‘referendum lock’; this would entail a national referendum being held, over whether Britain should subscribe to any Treaty proposed by the EU. This will include a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty.’

    Perhaps he could pop outside the ring for a quiet beer with Nigel ;-)

  22. 22
    HANDYCOCK IS INNOCENT says:

    Grand Master. Boaz.

  23. 23
    Butch Dave says:

    80 mph? I’d rather spend 3 hours fisting dough, or something similar.

  24. 24
    The name is Cock, Handycock says:

    Glad to know you are on my case your Worshipful. Jahbulon

  25. 25
    SamCam says:

    fuck off arsebandit.

  26. 26

    I drove my Audi Quattro Coupé Turbo at 150mph on the M4 on that stretch west of Neath in the small hours of the morning about 25 years ago. It was possible to exceed its theoretical limit due to the sharp decline there. I think I have got away with it by now and will plead insanity if they try to prosecute.

    IDNND is quite right about Saarland and there are many other autobahn stretches which are essentially still as Hitler built them. The A8 Karlsruhe-München stretch is being modernised now, with many of the dips and bends being ironed out. It will be wonderful when complete but avoid it like the plague for another two years.

  27. 27
    Toxic Labour scum trashed my Country says:

    I’m 95% confident this will cause a climate jelly.

  28. 28
    Ellie-Mae (8) says:

    Hmm, the Tories Ring… ooohhh….call for the porcelain telephone coming

  29. 29
    Bloke says:

    Mumsnet told Cameron he couldn’t have 80mph and since they have a permanent veto on govt policy via SamCam the harpies won

  30. 30
    GVJ, Leader of the Council and Handy's Puppet says:

    Great to see the Grand Master on side Handy. It would be disastrous if you were suspended and someone found out what has really been going on with your long held planning portfolio and your boys. Boaz.

    http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/local/council-hands-hancock-file-to-police-1-5544021

  31. 31
    expat says:

    Think the UK 70mph should be maintained too.
    After all you have it difficult enough driving on the left with the steering wheel on the wrong side as well. ;(

  32. 32
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    Some other candidates for conversion to UKIP ?

  33. 33
    Exclusive: David Cameron's Conference Speech says:

    Vote UKIP

  34. 34

    When we came to build our motorways, we learned the lesson…

    Not so. Before they upgraded the M1 London-MK stretch, you must surely remember those dangerous slip roads that failed to account for the need to drop speed from 70mph to 20mph or less.

    They were killers, literally.

  35. 35
    Juan Kerr says:

    Given that most car speedometers overread by up to 10%, if you drive past a speed camera at up to an indicated 5 mph above the posted limit, you will normally be OK. On the motorway, an indicated 80 mph should not cause any problems. ( lifted from speedlimit.org

  36. 36
    Disgusted says:

    You obnoxious toad.

  37. 37
    M­a­qbo­ul says:

    Too late for Huhne anyway.

  38. 38

    If that is Peter Expat, I know for a fact you drive like a fucking maniac!

    You make me look sane. :-D

  39. 39

    If that is Peter Expat, I know for a fact you drіve like a fucking maniac!

    You make me look sane. :-D

  40. 40
    Juan Kerr says:

    From my own experiences in Italy, they have far more difficulty driving on the right.

  41. 41
    Hedgehog Balls says:

    Too far, too fast.

  42. 42
    M­a­qbo­ul says:

    Not so. I know from one solicitor that the police won’t stop anyone who is doing under 82 mph on the M* (it’s not the M11 anyways)). There is an unofficial speed limit. The problem is that if the official limit is raised to 80 mph it will encourage even faster driving.

  43. 43

    At the age of 67, he should be awarded a fucking OBE for performing sex on his own private land at his age!

  44. 44
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    From my experiences in !taly, it seems that the road is optional.

  45. 45
    M­a­qbo­ul says:

    Can’t a man scratch his balls any more without nosey kids reporting one to the Filth?

  46. 46
    The Maimed Badger says:

    Not only the Road System is making UK Ltd uncompetitive but traffic regulations too.

  47. 47
    Mr Brookes says:

    Look, it’s mine and i’ll wash it as fast as I like.

  48. 48
    Juan Kerr says:

    Unofficial guidelines seem to be +10% +2mph, so eg you will probably get away with 35 in a 30 limit. (having said that, my brother was done for doing 34 not long ago).

  49. 49

    It was the thought of all those white vans passing underpowered hatch-backs with, “Baby on Board” stickers that did it.

  50. 50
    David Camerön says:

    And this speech is for HARDWORKING PEOPLE ….

    blah fücking blah fücking blah …..

    and remember you are unique,,,,,,, just like everyone else.

  51. 51
    expat says:

    Flew back to the UK, hiring a car to get around.
    Spent the first few days working the window buttons when I really wanted to change gear.
    I am as incompetant at UK driving as the Brit hiring an LHD car abroad.

  52. 52

    The former Italian transport minister had this to say:


    In Milano the traffic lights are compulsory.

    In Roma they are advisory.

    In Napoli they are Christmas decorations.

    True story.

  53. 53

    Thank God you don’t have your own plane!

  54. 54
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    E’astern E’uropean truck drivers undercutting UK truck drivers is a problem that has been building for a while:

    http://www.truckersworld.co.uk/html_template/foreign%20law.htm

    ‘Cabotage’ allows foreign hauliers infrequent access to UK market with restrictions on their rights to strike etc.

    The 14p difference per liter of UK Diesel vs. European puts UK firms at a significant disadvantage.

  55. 55
    Milliband Senior says:

    I fucking hate this country!

  56. 56
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    E’astern E’uropean truck dr!vers undercutting UK truck dr!vers is a problem that has been building for a while:

    http://www.truckersworld.co.uk/html_template/foreign%20law.htm

    ‘Cabotage’ allows foreign hauliers infrequent access to UK market with restrictions on their rights to strike etc.

    The 14p difference per liter of UK Diesel vs. European puts UK firms at a significant disadvantage.

  57. 57
    Mr Dead, Ed's Dad says says:

    Fuck the UK

  58. 58
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Nice.

    I did reply earlier but mod bot was unhappy. Not sure why. Will get reply up over next few posts :-)

    The biggest confusion one had in !taly were the disconnects between the map, the road signs and the road itself. Sun and smell best way to navigate, and avoid driving in the cities.

  59. 59
    I d on't n eed no d octor says:

    Recently got back from Tuscany. Other drivers weren’t a problem, but the roads were in a right old state, especially around Anghiari.

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    Well good think Stephen Hammond isnt the MP responsible for the party in an area where 2 councillors moved to UKIP and did a lot of damage/got a lot of screen time..

    Also good that his local constituency office didnt completely mismanage one of the electoral officers creaming off a lot of money…

    OH

  61. 61
    I d on't n eed no d octor says:

    Now I find it totally unbelievable that my comment is awaiting moderation. This site is becoming laughable.

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    Dr S~~ Many years ago when I worked for the Smiths group & they were the major manufacturer of car speedometers I was told that they were calibrated to “flatter” the driver. In other words whatever the speedo showed the true speed was a few mph less.
    Mind you,in those days there were far fewer cars on the roads & they were not capable of the speeds of today.

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    He shares with Bliar.

  64. 64
    congestion relief says:

    We need less cars on the road and those who are allowed to drive must go faster.

    Those elderly seeking a free bus pass shall forfeit their car license.
    No driving test to 23 years old. Encourages students and youth to take up a green (whatever that means) life style. Doubt Ms Lucas etc sets a rounded life style example.
    Night parking to be off road. Lets face it city dwellers shouldn’t be driving.
    All villages, communities etc shall be allowed to have a zero-business rate property to supply food and drink within walking distance of a quorum of homes.
    All MPs shall use public transport.

    Speed limits to increase and all those drivers found unable to drive faster shall have the license restricted or removed.

  65. 65
    Gidders says:

    Well, regarding Teddy Boy, I think the Daily Wail have just increased the support for Teddy in one move, just sort of thing like the red demon eyes of B’Liar, on a tory poster just before the 1997 election condemning was to 13 year of Liebore, well done the Daily Mail keep up the nastiness and condemn us to many years of Liebore

  66. 66
    Gidders says:

    Don’t worry old lad, it got better when the old one went to the Priory to dry out, suddenly it has reverted back to normal.

  67. 67
    David Cameron Is A Cunt says:

    Nothing wrong with an 80mph limit, one fuck of a lot wrong with both McLoughlin and Cameron. Hammond is a wanker though.

  68. 68

    @4:00 does not get the point, as usual.

    I know this poster, personally, unlike Anonymong. Therefore the latter has no context to be able to place this remark. Typically that does not prevent him from attempting to – with the predictably disastrous results seen here.

  69. 69
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    No and you cant even let anyone else scratch ‘em for you


Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers