Guido’s Fashion Tips: Tory Conference Special

George Osborne’s “footballers that look like lesbians” haircut has gone mainstream. Dan Hodges couldn’t take his eyes off it during his speech:

“None of it mattered. No one was listening to a single word. Because we were all staring at the top of George Osborne’s head. At least I was. Roughly between the crown of his skull and the top of his eyebrows, something was just lying there. The Chancellor was talking about exports to China and all I could think was: “George, you’ve got something sitting on your head”. I was actually on the verge of jumping up and shouting a warning until I realised. The thing sitting on top of his head was his hair.

Not ordinary hair. Entirely new hair. As if someone had reached down, lifted off his old, bog-standard politico’s cut, thrown it in the bin, and stapled something entirely different in its place. This usurper hair was quite hard to describe. Imagine if you woke up and all your hair had mysteriously fallen forward. Think of those pictures you’ve seen of iron filings being attracted towards a magnet. The Chancellor’s hair appeared to have become magnetised.”

Osborne SpAds point out the similarities between their boss’ new hair and that of their new colleague Neil O’Brien.

In the interests of gender balance following this blog’s fashion reports on Miliband last week, Guido brings you Theresa May’s outstanding tartan suit worn during her speech this afternoon:

Och.



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Janan Ganesh on Labour’s soft left

“Ms Cooper does not believe the previous Labour government was wrong to run a fiscal deficit after 15 years of economic growth. Both she and Mr Burnham think families should be entitled to tax credits for a third child. These views are not mad. They are just a bit too left-wing for Britain. For any serious party, that amounts to the same thing. The soft left is more electable than the hard left but then Mars is more habitable than Neptune: neither planet will host human life anytime soon.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Edward Heath Child Abuse Probe Edward Heath Child Abuse Probe
Andy Burnham Doesn’t Know 7 x 8 = 56 Andy Burnham Doesn’t Know 7 x 8 = 56
Watson Forgets His Own Cock-Up Watson Forgets His Own Cock-Up
Corbyn’s Counter-Revolutionary Corbyn’s Counter-Revolutionary
How Diane Remembers Jezza How Diane Remembers Jezza
Abby Turns Fandy Abby Turns Fandy

Just Good Comrades? Just Good Comrades?
ENERGY MINISTER TOTTY WATCH: LAS VEGAS EDITION ENERGY MINISTER TOTTY WATCH: LAS VEGAS EDITION
DIANE ABBOTT FORGETS SHE DIDN’T THINK CORBYN COULD WIN DIANE ABBOTT FORGETS SHE DIDN’T THINK CORBYN COULD WIN
NATWEST’S ONLINE BANKING CRASHES ON PAYDAY NATWEST’S ONLINE BANKING CRASHES ON PAYDAY
OWEN JONES: LIE-RA OWEN JONES: LIE-RA
GMB UNION SUE UBER GMB UNION SUE UBER
Who Will Be UKIP’s Mayoral Candidate? Who Will Be UKIP’s Mayoral Candidate?
Meanwhile, in Venezuela… Meanwhile, in Venezuela…
TWITTER EMPLOYEES JUMP FROM SINKING SHIP TWITTER EMPLOYEES JUMP FROM SINKING SHIP
Times Trolls Burnham Times Trolls Burnham
CHAMPAGNE SOCIALISTS BACK CORBYN CHAMPAGNE SOCIALISTS BACK CORBYN
SINN FEIN SHOULD “TAKE INSPIRATION” FROM ARMED UPRISING SINN FEIN SHOULD “TAKE INSPIRATION” FROM ARMED UPRISING
ALL CHANGE AT GREEN PARTY HQ ALL CHANGE AT GREEN PARTY HQ
I Can’t Believe He’s Not Tory! I Can’t Believe He’s Not Tory!
UBER DESTROYING RACIST TAXI INDUSTRY UBER DESTROYING RACIST TAXI INDUSTRY
Could Labour Fall Apart Under Corbyn? Could Labour Fall Apart Under Corbyn?
Hilarious Prankster Hilarious Prankster
GREENPEACE LIVID GREENPEACE LIVID
Did Labour Leadership Candidates Smoke Dope? Did Labour Leadership Candidates Smoke Dope?
Another Andy Flip Flop Another Andy Flip Flop
Clegg Whores Himself Out Clegg Whores Himself Out
RETURN OF THE FRACKERS, CUADRILLA TO APPEAL RETURN OF THE FRACKERS, CUADRILLA TO APPEAL
FLASHBACK: TORY WHIP ON SCANDAL INVOLVING “SMALL BOYS” FLASHBACK: TORY WHIP ON SCANDAL INVOLVING “SMALL BOYS”