September 25th, 2013

Mad Dog V Mad Al

McBride couldn’t let Alastair Campbell moralising go without comment. He’s given him a kicking  in tomorrow’s Speccie:

“Alastair Campbell is saving Biteback Publishing a fortune in advertising. He was on the front of the papers calling for me to be prosecuted for leaking information. Over the course of the week, he sent me tweets about my book. I thought about replying that he hadn’t lost any of his old hounding skills, but decided it would be in bad taste.What I find strange about Alastair’s obsession is that we never worked in government at the same time, and don’t know each other at all. I met him at a quiz night last year: he was the answer to several of his own questions, played the music round on his bagpipes and gave out copies of his book as prizes. Before then, our only encounter was when I politely asked if he could use the back door of Downing Street to attend a No. 10 strategy meeting with Gordon Brown, so as to avoid drawing the media’s attention. Of course, he refused.”

Guido suggests they go discuss it in the street like gentlemen…


  1. 1
    Iain Dale says:

    I reckon I can take him.

  2. 2
    The Public says:

    If one could split the skull of the other with a meat cleaver whilst the other simultaneously stabbed upwards with a bayonet, so leaving two corpses on the canvas..well..that would be great.

  3. 3
    Rumpole says:

    Interestingly, both had a drink problem.

  4. 4
    Nutter Nuke says:

    You took me by surprise, you coward.

  5. 5
    The British Public says:

    Has beens

  6. 6
    Dog on a rope says:

    Me too, woof woof

  7. 7
    Ed Moribund says:

    I will make Britain a carbon free economy by 2030 because I shall ensure all the lights are off, all the time.

  8. 8
    Iain Dale's wrestling coach says:

    Yes, if you could give Campbell a good biffing that would be great Iain!

  9. 9
    In another 50 years.. says:

    The world will not miss any of these people when they’re dead.

  10. 10
    Mick Smetaphor says:

    We need to get these two on jeremy Kyle’s show

    that’s the platform for them

    Maybe now that Newsnight is looking for new news analysis formats, they could do a Jeremy Kyle spoof, with Paxman playing the Springer/Kyle role, inviting Campbell and McBride to confront each other.

    “Why have you been saying nasty things, Alistair?”
    “Is that right, you went on the Internet to troll someone’s wife?”
    “Well so what if Alistair made up lies to start an illegal war? Does that justify what you did Damian?”

  11. 11
    Another thing in common says:

    And, because they’re Labour supporters, they’re both certifiably insane.

  12. 12
    Man in the street says:


  13. 13
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    McBride smells unpleasant. Campbell smells of death.

  14. 14
    Coeur_de_lion says:

    I hate to say this, but after reading his responses to Campbells hysterics on Twitter, and now this, I’m starting to quite like McBride.

  15. 15
    Bill Quango MP-9 says:

    And..recently found buried in the archives, we have the original intelligence on Iraq dossier…Alistair..Anything you want to say before we take a look?

  16. 16
    Thrill Seeker says:

    I’d rather see Campbell v Joyce on a bill with Dale V Opik.

  17. 17
    Gordon the medicated says:

    I smell of cabbage.

    And Ammonia.

    Actually more a sort of cabbagey,beetrootey,wet dog, ammonia smell. No idea why.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Whilst the pair if then are clearly both scum, who would you rather be stuck in a lift with – the story teller or the story telling mass murderer?

  19. 19
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    I recommend Nokias at 20 paces.

  20. 20
    Thrill Seeker says:

    Can I bring a brick in a sock with me and wear a knuckle-duster?

  21. 21
    One Glum Nation! says:

    Same Old Labour. Full of nasty, messed up self serving Hunts.

  22. 22
    Silly Sally B13COW says:

    Talking of dogs……

  23. 23
    What this country needs says:

    Is a good and final dose of soshalism, to fuck it up for good.

  24. 24
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:


  25. 25
    FFS says:

    So a new Thatcher can rise from the ashes, and his name will be…. Nigel.

    To be fair it isn’t the best name for a hero is it?

  26. 26

    Tossing books at thirty paces. Plonkers of the world unite!

  27. 27
    FFS says:

    One nation but which fucking planet????

  28. 28
    Ed Balls says:

    I rather see Harriet harperson v jack dromney now that would be a cat fight.

  29. 29
    Django says:

    That would be the Miliband brothers fighting it out?

  30. 30

    That was a long lunch! :-)

  31. 31

    Ed Miliband has established himself as the Labour Party’s best orator since Neil Kinnock

    Ha! Ha!

    Oh fuck! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

    My ribs hurt.

  32. 32
    M102 says:

    I had heard that you smelt like a toilet mat.

  33. 33
    Billiard Ball says:

    Who’s the daddy?

  34. 34
  35. 35
  36. 36
    M102 says:

    LOL. My socks are wet :)

  37. 37
  38. 38
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

  39. 39
    UKIP, Millitwats best friends says:

    In my youth I owned a couple of TreVoRs. Looked great, sounded great, but CRAP.

    So it could be in the name.

    Nigel, sounds great, looks great stood outside a pub with a pint in his hand, but when you come down to basics, CRAP.

  40. 40
    Rolf Harris says:

    Ed Miliband IS a good speaker.
    Ok, he talks utter shite..but he does it well.

    Like Alan Sugar.

  41. 41
    Little weed says:

    Was it Bill or was it Ben?

  42. 42
    Spinebrity Death Match says:

    My Blairite faction is the most Progressively Socially Liberal.

    No…my Brownite faction is the most Progressively Socially Liberal.



    Right that’s it..I’ll do fag faced, looney lying scumbag.

  43. 43
    Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far to the left says:

    Back in 1994, Chucka and Ed Ba!!s were discussing long term strategy…

  44. 44
    Hello! photographer says:

    Ohhh…rough as grannies tits.
    Late night, Sal?

  45. 45
    Totty-watcher says:

    I’ve seen more becoming legs on an elephant.

  46. 46
    Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far to the left says:

    The two Ed’s working on Postal votes…

  47. 47
    Pub bore says:

    Me too.
    I can’t afford it.

  48. 48
    = final reggae, too says:

    Nigel Farage = elf in garage

  49. 49
    FFS says:


  50. 50
    Red Ed Dwarf says:

    shhh…don’t tell Dimmer, but we’re 3 trillion years into deep space debt and completely lost.

    I don’t care..I’m Chukka the Cat..I just like sharp suits and I’m pretty shallow…Yerowwlll… who cares about the debt?

    EdBalls Rimmer..Look..We are not in debt Ok..just because the sums don’t add up doesn’t mean we are in debt.

    yeah..right man..remind us Iron Balls…how many times have you taken the officers accountancy exam?

    You are a smeg head Ed Lisper..A complete and utter Smeg head.

  51. 51
    A nincumpoop says:

    Give it a rest, Guido.

    I watched Damien on Newsnight – seems a nice guy.

  52. 52
    Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far to the left says:

    Ed reads his chapter in McBride’s book…

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    It looks as though she is wearing a Hospital nightdress!

  54. 54
    barnehurst Bob says:

    she’s looking a bit chunky too. It may be a water retention but if it continues she’ll have legs like an oil rig

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    I just cant see him in Parliament, he wouldnt like being a junior MP with limited power !

  56. 56
    UKIP or bust says:

    How does that saying about mutton and lamb go?

  57. 57
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Cheers for reply: Just wanted to avoid being trolled to death.

    Two reasons I think Sadiq is Ok:

    i) He helped get Ed Miliband in to leadership: This is providing awesome comedy value.

    ii) Like Warsi, he his not liked by his own community.
    The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

    Not too keen on his Fab!an stuff, but the expenses payback history confirms he is bent so we know he cannot be trusted.

    Compared with Vaz (and this is a very shallow comparison) he is also ‘Ok’.

  58. 58
    M102 says:

    She’s nearly on a par with Ms Macauley’s upside down legs.

  59. 59
    Faces of Evil says:

    McBride and Campbell, two people I sincerely hope get cancer and die slowly in agony.

  60. 60
    Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far to the left says:

    Essential post-McBride reading for horny Labourites…

  61. 61
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    As Bojo is the only Con guy who could compete with Nigel, is that why Bojo is being lined up for a safe seat ?

  62. 62
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    She’s beyond that. This is the stuff of F!ndus horse-lasagne…

  63. 63
    Red Ed Dwarf says:

    Ed is just thankful it wasn’t a bedsheet.

  64. 64
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    A bit like this, but in a blue dress:

  65. 65
    Conspiracy Theorist says:

    Campbell saw off Kr Delly quick enough, I don’t suppose McPoison would trouble him.

  66. 66
    Alex Salmond, formerly the cleverest man in poltics says:

    I shall be implementing old-skool hard-left socialism from 19th Sep 2014. Come to bonnie Scotland help me nationalise shipbuilding and mining, impose 95% marginal taxation, confiscate the evil toff’s estates and, of course, ensure every family has a haggis in every pot.

  67. 67
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    And is then attacked by Red Len’s colon…

  68. 68
    Welsh Windbag says:

    ‘Reflecting the new theme of national consensus’

    These imbeciles love a soundbite.

  69. 69
    Tom Catesby says:

    ‘Discuss it in the street like gentlemen’. I’d love to see that, I’ll hold their f^cking coats, gobshites and pussies!

  70. 70
    UKIP, Millitwats new best friends says:

    EU Commission Directive 2001/101/EC may help you

  71. 71
    English taxpayer says:

    Sounds lovely.
    And the good news is we won’t have to pay for you Scots spongers anymore.

    Well…not directly. The EU will be dishing out shipping containers of cash to poor, tiny, impoverished Scotchland.
    And England will be piling the dosh into the begging bowl for you..

    We will never be rid of those frozen northern scroungers.

  72. 72
    Self Employed says:

    Try the brush!

  73. 73
    David Cummerbund says:

    I will gladly agree to Scottish Independence just as long as you agree to take Liverpool with you.

    We can work out some sort of Danzig corridor arrangement along the M6. We won’t be needing that motorway anymore.

    And if you take Blackpool and Preston as well you can not only keep all the shale gas you can extract, but I will arrange £500 ‘incentive’ for every Scot who votes for independence.

  74. 74
    Godfrey Bloom says:


  75. 75
    Blur babes says:

    You can almost see the wadded up used panties wrapped around the tube of canesten in her bag.

  76. 76
    The Loony Left says:


  77. 77
    Sir William Waid says:

    Who is this Alastair McBride and why should we be interested in him?

  78. 78
    Sunderland is a rotten borough thats why its shyte says:

    I have a sneaking regard for McBride for all his faults and his right about that prick Campbell a horrible man ,full of himself and lots to be ashamed about not least the death of David Kelly,I wonder if Brown will ever own up to having orchestrated McBrides deeds?

  79. 79
    Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

    Mores the pity

  80. 80
    ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

    Ed Miliband has put consumers and small businesses at the heart of energy policy reform. I call that political leadership.

    Ed Miliband has put building homes at the heart of a radical shake-up of housing shortages, social home shortages. I call this political leadership.

    Ed Miliband has challenged the viciousness of the Tories, promising to abolish the evil bedroom tax. I call this political leadership

  81. 81
    a voter says:

    Me too.

  82. 82
    just saying says:

    Campbell needs to calm down and pour
    himself a large one.

  83. 83
    just saying says:

    Let the English have the vote- that’ll ensure Scottish independence.

    They can have their own currency, or adopt the Euro, and negotiate
    their own membership of international bodies.

    The Shetland Islands should be able to stay with the rest of the UK or
    have their own independence if they so desire.

  84. 84
    oh dear says:

    Even his own wife can’t be arsed to watch him.

  85. 85
    broderick crawford says:

    what a five dollar slapper.

  86. 86
    grow up says:

    Ed Miliband spouts a load of meaningless
    leftie bollocks in order to pacify his union
    paymasters and grab a cheap headline.
    I call that desperate.

  87. 87
    Granny Grunt says:

    Man at C&A without the charisma.

  88. 88
    broderick crawford says:

    looks like standard issue hospital garb .
    Lindo Wing , St Mary s Praed Street if I m not mistaken

    But John must never know !!!

  89. 89
    ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

    Yes let’s leave everything as it is because it’s working so well. Muppet.

  90. 90
    Dr Strangelove says:

    Inventing a new energy source like electricity is very cool, the person, or company the inventor has a deal with, should be rewarded. but let’s not be silly. The power is with the millions of the populace, as the populace is paying we think we are going to take it, thanks.
    better to nationalize these good ideas rather than give profit to capital far removed from the original creation.

  91. 91
    M103 says:

    A couple of days ago, Miliband was asked when he was bringing back socialism. He said ‘that’s what we’re doing’.
    For me, the fact that he, as the leader of a party, was happy to be associated with the word socialism, so long demonised and sniggered at by the free market con merchants, is a massively positive sign. Teamed with the Sy^ria vote and the ideas put forward at the conference, it looks promising.
    I was losing heart a few months ago, I’m feeling a little more optimistic now

  92. 92
    remember this says:

    David Miliband never got a chance to fight.
    He was stabbed in the back.

  93. 93
    Dr Strangelove says:

    It is so comical that people think that they can “own” common things.
    like expressions in the English Language, that is so lazy of the creatives.
    and a thing which will be a limited resource ( like water). Say you own the land where there is a spring and you make a company bottling this water and you sell millions of bottles a week, that is not your water, that is the water table of the world water. It is a community resource which the populace will own, thank you very much.

  94. 94
    animal says:

    It’s better than it was in 2010 when Liam Byrne left a message
    at the Treasury boasting “There’s no money left”.
    Do you actually read the financial stats?

  95. 95
    oh yes I remember it well says:

    Of course- nationalisation worked so well in the 70’s.
    As long as you didn’t want to run a successful company
    employing workers, go to school,catch a bus or train,
    have your bins emptied,turn the lights on,watch the telly
    or bury your Grandad.
    Yeah- a real success story that Miliband wants to repeat.

  96. 96
    i think says:

    His tales are more believable than anyone
    elses in the Labour Party.

  97. 97
    basic facts says:

    Dr Strangelove-It may be water of the world, but a
    company provides the infrastructure and manpower
    to transport it to your home and remove the waste
    Presumably you get paid for your time and labour,unless
    of course you’re a student or on benefits, why should a
    company be any different?

  98. 98
    Vote UKIP says:

    Go on scum-bags, fight to the death.

  99. 99
    Lou Reed says:

    She’s really a he?

  100. 100
    McCluskey's odour says:


    They both stood in the same contest and the favourite lost.

    Boo fucking hoo.

  101. 101
    McCluskey's odour says:

    No name is good for a hero until the hero makes it so.

    Mr Farage will do so if the voters give him the chance.

  102. 102

    Most of our energy is now imported,neither MILLIBAND nor the energy companies will have any say over the price . GAZPROM now control the gas pipeline and EDF control the nuclear power stations.

  103. 103
    Anonymous says:

    It’s called stealing in our street

  104. 104
    Dr Strangelove says:

    in the seventies there was still idiocy in beliefs about the value of a person because of inherited wealth issues. We have moved quite a distance since that time thanks to popular music and television.
    Of course because of the inadequacies of our parenting and educational institutions ( personnel) it is taking longer than I anticipated for the society to achieve self awareness but I am optimistic that eventually love will prevail.

  105. 105
    Dr Strangelove says:

    @ basic facts
    you give the answer in your statement, the owner of the company knows how to order a good meal and some wine and knows some friends that can help him in finance and is probably a bright guy who can see future trends. So he makes moves to increase what are his possessions. I agree we need those guys who have the oversight of the societies but water, come on you are taking the piss. He, the owner guy doesn’t do all the trench digging himself is it ?
    These things water, power, transport are so obvious to understand there is no innovation to be rewarded, ask an engineer how a thing should be done, ask an architect how a thing should be done, ask a project manager how a thing should be done. it is not magic, putting a robot on an asteroid is magic, putting water in pipes is not magic.

  106. 106

    Anyone close to the Balkans knows about the category mistake embedded in the expression The enemy of my enemy is my friend. It is ontologically unsound.

    From what I know of you, you will also admit this to be the case.

    What you have said does not make him OK in itself. It just makes him OK to those like us who want him and his type to fail, a vastly different proposition.

  107. 107

    Should beavers be re-introduced to England?

    Monbiot wants to know… :-D

  108. 108

    Have you been introduced to the Conservative member for Hillingdon and Ealing?

  109. 109
    your doggy says:

    Not by as much surprise as when I sank my teeth into your putrid crusty behind

  110. 110
    Another twat who thinks Hadrians wall marks the border watch says:

    They are both English you stupid bigoted fuck !

  111. 111
    Making plans for Nigel says:

  112. 112
    Ailurophile says:

    Machiavelli’s Cat? (!)

  113. 113

    Machiavelli’s CO3 might appear closer. ;-)

  114. 114
    DR says:

    Mad Dog and Mad Al … two total arseholes!

  115. 115
    That's enough Eds, Ed! says:

    What an old spunker!

  116. 116
    That's enough Eds, Ed! says:

    Wallace? Wallace! Is it really you?

  117. 117
    tigerowl says:

    Dear Mr Mcbride. Clear off with the tittle tattle. Your storey is now so boring as to be just gossip and old wives tales. Who gives a dam?
    Has the man any idea over how to get the economy moving? Save money on our heating costs? Build more houses? Defend the nation? Doubt it.
    Empty vessels make most noise.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    “Mad Dog v Mad Al”?
    Given today’s news, is it right to make fun out of people with metal health problems? Yes a joke is a joke but . . .

Seen Elsewhere

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Labour and Green Ecofascism | Matthew Walsh
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Why Online Voting is a Crap Idea | Ballot Box
Time We Showed Super Rich Some Love | Alice Thomson
We Need True Popular Capitalism | Maurice Saatchi
Labour’s Winning Hand | Sebastian Shakespeare
We Defend Labour’s Record | John Hutton and Alan Milburn
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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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