September 19th, 2013

Life Imitates Art at Tory Thought Camp


  1. 1
    Fist says:

    They could try the old coat-hanger trick.

  2. 2
    nellnewman says:

    Can’t they survive without a mobile phone for a few days! Pathetic!

  3. 3
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Must be awful not being able to use inside information on timing of Cameron’s exit from Downing Street.

  4. 4
    Morris Austin says:

    The coat hanger ariel outlasted the rest of my old Princess.

  5. 5
    LibDem says:

    I’m trying to take a daytime photo of Uranus.

  6. 6
    C.O.Jones says:

    Nothing to do with phoning, he is doing a selfie.

    Like this

  7. 7
    Paniagua v5 says:

    *Praying for forked lightning*

  8. 8
    Crackpot says:

    An Away Day, One could always hope the bloody shower never come back !!

    May be we should ask Obama what they are talking about,after all Cameron has allowed them to spy on each of Britains citizens,the Traitor. Bring back Hanging, I say !!

  9. 9
    Rebekah says:

    You’re in my neck of woods. Anyone fancy a country supper?

  10. 10
    giggles easily says:

    partial ROFL

  11. 11
    Don't mess abhat says:

    Dutch King Willem-Alexander declares the end of the welfare state
    Youngest monarch in Europe says people must take responsibility for their own future and create their own social and financial safety nets

    Thats the way to do it…………

  12. 12
    A Briton says:

    Cameron out of touch? Surely not.

  13. 13
    Whiffler says:

    Meanwhile, Jo Coburn talks of “The Government’s under-occupancy charge – or Bedroom Tax as critics call it”

    It’s not a tax or a charge, but will the BBC admit it ?

  14. 14
    Elfin Safety says:

    Is that slide strong enough? Where are the side barriers and regulation 50mm rubber matting?

  15. 15
    Fashion Police says:

    The Edinburgh Woollen Mill shop in Chipping Norton High Street has suddenly had a run on pullovers

  16. 16
    Maximus says:

    Two Chicken Littles successfully holding the sky up.

  17. 17
    Modern managers suck says:

    We have someone in our company that does this “team building” crap. I completely refuse to do it as its belittling and at my age they can all fuck off with there fancy management tools and ideas.
    I note the prat who organises this never actually takes part. Cnut

  18. 18
    White men maybe can't jump but... says:

    Your phones not safe there buddy

  19. 19
    Justin & Tarquin says:

    He’s always got time to touch us up.

  20. 20
    P l e b says:

    The obnoxious Nadhim Zahawi,who was given asylum in this country from his native Iraq before becoming a Tory mp is on Newsnight talking about the skivers having more bedrooms than the private sector.
    Perhaps he should remember that if this country had not given him and his family a few bedrooms he wouldn’t be where he is today.

  21. 21
    Cock up the arsehole time says:

    Dave’s sloppy seconds?

    No thanks.

  22. 22
    Angry bird says:

    People of other countries are rebelling against their corrupt leaders,taking them out and shooting them,what do we do,we let them rob us blind and still let them get into power and continue robbing us.
    Things will not alter until we bring these crooks to justice and make sure that they never hold office again

  23. 23
    Cock up the arsehole time says:

    Show more respect – that’s Dave’s favourite raghead you’re talking about.

  24. 24
    Modern managers suck says:

    Does this AS team building —-fuckingandroids

  25. 25
    Tooting Unpopular Front says:

    The Bedroom Tax. A housing policy dreamed up by a millionaire Minister like IDS
    was always doomed to fail.
    Only the deluded could have come up with such a scheme, whereby
    new tenants would snap up all the available one bed flats, leaving
    those with two, and only needing one, having to take an income hit,
    because there’s nowhere to go. It wouldn’t have occurred to him to
    enquire as to how many one bed flats were available for rent, him being
    a millionaire and all.
    You gotta hand it to IDS, he’s created a housing crisis all on his own,
    and he’s so thick he really believes it’s a success!
    So come on Mr Clegg, your next success should be telling Cameroon
    to get rid of IDS. Pronto.

  26. 26
    M103 says:

    “Tory Thought Camp”? I doubt it.


  27. 27
    P l e b says:

    Well he can fuck off back to muslimland.

  28. 28
    Tory Cat says:

    No one has an argument for not giving immigrants and asylum seekers a council house, however they are expected to get a job and buy or privately rent their own property eventually. Social housing isn’t a life-style choice, just a safety net. And Nadhim Zahawi is proof that it can be done.

  29. 29
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    It’s a dramatic reconstruction, dear. I doubt they are clever enough to climb a children’s slide in search of the answer to their immediate problems.

  30. 30
    C.O.Jones says:

    It’s not a tax.

  31. 31
    IDS says:

    Well we worked out on the basis of all the fags smoked,beer drunk and houses with Sky subscriptions,that people on benefits are obviously getting too much money.
    Paying £15 a week towards your rent was seen as a fair way of clawing some of it back.

  32. 32
    Hunt the ferret says:

  33. 33

    Is that like Fawked lightening?


  34. 34
    coffin chaser says:

    another day off, Elsie?

  35. 35
    Village Idiot says:

    …..Who on earth can we turn to , to clean up politics and all the other things the educated elite have seen fit to rob and trash with their greed and incompetence??
    So far it seems like George Galloway and……………..Please, someone pick up the mantle and “out” these people…Journalists this is a good cause,which some carry out very well! I am a kipper because there is no other choice!

  36. 36
    There as this one time at thought camp says:

    Having thunk about it I’ve come to conclusion that David Cameron is a c*nt.

  37. 37
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Get a fuckin’ job!

  38. 38
    Cock up the arsehole time says:

    A pun of great sophistication. The product of an elegant mind.

  39. 39

    Are we going to be nice to each other Bob from Pinner Elsie, or am I going to have to fuck you again?

  40. 40
    rick says:

    Just more evidence of how infantile our ‘leaders’ have become.

  41. 41
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    It would appear so, dear. Flat-roofing in the rain after a half-bottle of sherry is never to be recommended.

  42. 42
    Curious says:

    I’m sure the mobile reception will be suitably shit but what’s less clear is the real story behind that strange photo.

  43. 43
    There you go says:

    Have you seen the film ‘Human Centipede’?
    Where each person has his face stuck up the arse of the one in front.
    That is basically what Westminster is like.
    Stephanie Flanders being in-between the two Eds of course.

  44. 44
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Do they allow internet access from prison then, dear?

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    From The Thick Of It…

    And the Tory Party have now become the figures of ridicule they richly deserve.

  46. 46
    Justin Bouffant says:

    ….unhindered by anything above it. The experts reckon that a bald brain runs 5% cooler and, therefore, gains 2% in elegance.

  47. 47
    Ewa's Dad says:

    It’s ‘aerial’, you dolt, and she was never your Princess.

  48. 48
    Nooky says:

    More news shortly. Said F4J Founder Matt O’Connor, “We regard this as nothing less than political censorship. There are no grounds for any ban and Twitter have failed to provide any examples where we have breached their T&C’s.”

  49. 49
    Camp Thought says:

  50. 50
  51. 51
    P l e b says:

    Stupefying incompetence. You can’t expect people to move into suitable housing that isn’t there, overnight. Grant Shapps – don’t get me started. Arrogant, sly little tw*t. Who let him grow up? IDS – thick as pig shit. How did they get to be in charge of anything, let alone people’s lives?
    This isn’t a policy. It’s shameless bullying. How many ‘spare’ bedrooms do all members of the cabinet have I wonder? How many ‘spare’ houses come to that.
    Hateful, vindictive and WRONG

  52. 52
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP

  53. 53

    “Cock up the arsehole time” is not one of my more pseudo-intellectual monikers!

  54. 54
    Dr Excellent says:

    > They could try the old coat-hanger trick.

    Yep, it’s more effective than drinking a bottle of gin and sitting in a hot bath.

  55. 55
    Yeed Army says:

    Perhaps Cameron should try and make the case that mis-pronounced endonyms are not acceptable to be uttered in a country that prides itself on being socially responsible.

  56. 56
    Steve Miliband says:

    Are the houses they bought for themselves?

  57. 57
    What can we tax next? says:

    Is there no one in the Tory Party with the balls to ask the BBC why they insist on calling it a tax instead of a reduced subsidy?

  58. 58
    Ed Miliband says:

    Ha ha ha!! Laughing in your face!!

  59. 59
    Margaret Beckett says:

    Twerk it!

  60. 60
    Ed Miliband says:

    To all PLP members, we shall be holding a church service prior to our conference next week at St Martin in the Fields, and Ed has kindly written a little prayer

  61. 61
    Hmmmmm says:

    Completely O/T. But watch some members of the audience whilst Mr Clegg pontificates on his success of the same-sex marriage bill. A sight to behold. Certainly not all libbies are singing from the same song sheet.

  62. 62
    TV licence really IS a tax. says:

    So Pleb thinks it’s fairer for a family with kids in need of accommodation
    to share one room while a single person lives in a three bedroom house?

  63. 63
    Been there, done that says:

    Take it from me, it’s even worse when they do take part. They pretend to be really keen and lead from the front. It’s totally embarrassing.

  64. 64
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    You have 3 solutions to find the £15 per week.

    1. Ciut down on the booze and fags (1 pint of beer a day less or 3 packs of cigs a week less)

    2. Take in a lodger

    3. Get a fuckin’ job

  65. 65
    thank god for that says:

    But he will never reach the huge c*ntish proportions of Blair, Brown,Balls or Campbell.

  66. 66
    Someone sensible says:

    I do. Immigrants should house themselves without a public subsidy. If they can’t afford to live here (driving down local wages) without being subsidized they and their cheapskate employers should fuck off.

  67. 67
    OffCom to act against Mark Longhurst? says:

    Better with the sound down

  68. 68
    Heir to Blair Cameron says:

    True.I can only dream of reaching such dizzying heights of c*ntishness

  69. 69
    Penguine Books says:

    Campbell’s book has the working title: How To Murder Doctors and Other Stories.

  70. 70
    Just Sayin' says:

    If it’s a family of immigrants they should go back home.

    If it is locals, they should get a job and hop on the housing ladder.

    State should not be subsidizing accommodation in any case.

    Allow price discovery to normalize in housing for rents and valuations, ie. stop government interference, and many of these problems will resolve.

  71. 71
    Al Quaeda Anonymous says:

    Please report to your nearest AA group, our treatment has clearly not been effective

  72. 72
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Al Campbell is a vicious little propaganda merchant who should be kept far from the public gaze.

    In time, those who need to deal with him will.

  73. 73
    Common purpose thought camp Guard says:

    Wearing his common purpose issue tie I see.
    Very good.

  74. 74
    Alex Cameron says:

    I do ? Xxxxx

  75. 75
    Alastair Campbell Tweets says:

    Loving US air force demolishing Iraqi homes.

  76. 76
    Ed Balls says:

    Lord I know you aren’t the white fairy but can you also turn Yvette into a real boy.

  77. 77
    Film Critic says:

    And of course totally wrong about Kubrick’s film. King’s own attempt was a feeble failure.

  78. 78
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Please report to the nearest Dignitas clinic.

  79. 79

    I use the cock up the arsehole time Moniker for my less intellectual comments!

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    All this talk is wasted.

    Non of the liblabcon are able, or want, to restrict legal and illegal immigration.

    Bleat all you want but you are pissing in the wind during a hurricane.

    UKIP are the only party proposing to leave the EU and thereafter have some control over both legal and illegal immigration into this country.

  81. 81
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Kubrick did a good job with the book.

    There was a lot that could not have been done due to technical limitations of cinema at the time, but the adaptations for the screen play did not detract from the original narrative.

    One could credibly argue that the changes added tension and deepened the narrative somewhat. The large hedge apparitions in King’s original were somewhat ‘cheesy’. .

    The one adaptation he could have legitimate complaint about the movie adaptation of is ‘The Running Man’.

  82. 82
    Someone sensible says:

    Woman gets power and oppresses men. How surprising.

    I always knew many feminist claims about ‘equality’ were nonsense

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Your splitting hairs…

    CaMoron is an utter war mongering cnut.

    He is also a liar and lefty social democrat, which further qualifies him as a

  84. 84
    Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofsky says:

    Tory thought camp. Who? What? Why? Where? When?

  85. 85
    Are you sure that you do not wish to participate says:

    I, too, decline invitations to participate in such lunacy.
    Spend the day on the naughty step (and listen to my ipod!)

  86. 86
    Hang The Bostards says:

    What a waste of time.

    If they spend a day and dont get these as the top three priorities, then they truely are both fucked and clueless:

    (1) Offer the EU Referendum before the Election

    (2) Cut taxes properly

    (3) Stop turning the UK into an extension of the Middle East

  87. 87
    Sick of the greed and lies(still) says:

    Is 104119 the next number?

  88. 88

    The world is NOT and never will be “fair” the word should not be used by
    adults.Fairness is simplistic childish concept.

  89. 89
    FFS says:

    You’re way?

    Educated under Labour?

  90. 90
    deepthought says:

    How about mis-pronounced startonyms then?

  91. 91
    broderick crawford says:


    FANS awaiting Apple’s new operating system have lined up in their front rooms to be the first to download it.

    iOS7, which promises to bring thrilling cosmetic differences to iPhones and iPads, comes out later today and Apple fanatics are predictably losing their shit.

    Tom Logan said: “The wireless isn’t as strong in the bedroom, so I could have been as much as six seconds late to the download party.

    “But because of my unswerving devotion I took the week off work and am now seated two feet nearer the modem than my housemate.”

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    Exactly, there has been no mention of those in overcrowded houses. Oh no ” my grandkids visit me every 3 years i need a room for them” FFS.

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    They will never reach the dizzying heights reached by Milliband, Balls, Hattie, Yvette,Angela Eagles,Chris Bryant,Burnham etc etc all total jokes !

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    You do realise that you will have ben singled out for when they need redundancies dont you? you are a pain in the butt.

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    What are you on about, that was gibberish

  96. 96
    Tapper says:

    Those desperate to start a war will drag Tory MPs around and indoctrinate them until they start voting the required way.

  97. 97
    Sophie says:

    There is often a lack of mobile signal around Chipping, darling. It’s time ‘Camers’ did something about it! At Becca’s next dinner party, I’ll get roger to mention it.

  98. 98
    The Groundsman says:

    They were all pissed?

  99. 99
    The Groundsman says:

    Limp Dicks! what a set of complete c^nts.

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    You are aware that the Daily Mash is a satire site presumably?

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    2 packs of cigs – it’s been a long time since you could get a pack for a fiver.

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