September 19th, 2013

Life Imitates Art at Tory Thought Camp


  1. 1
    Fist says:

    They could try the old coat-hanger trick.


    • 4
      Morris Austin says:

      The coat hanger ariel outlasted the rest of my old Princess.


      • 47
        Ewa's Dad says:

        It’s ‘aerial’, you dolt, and she was never your Princess.


        • 54
          Dr Excellent says:

          > They could try the old coat-hanger trick.

          Yep, it’s more effective than drinking a bottle of gin and sitting in a hot bath.


      • 91
        broderick crawford says:


        FANS awaiting Apple’s new operating system have lined up in their front rooms to be the first to download it.

        iOS7, which promises to bring thrilling cosmetic differences to iPhones and iPads, comes out later today and Apple fanatics are predictably losing their shit.

        Tom Logan said: “The wireless isn’t as strong in the bedroom, so I could have been as much as six seconds late to the download party.

        “But because of my unswerving devotion I took the week off work and am now seated two feet nearer the modem than my housemate.”


    • 16
      Maximus says:

      Two Chicken Littles successfully holding the sky up.


  2. 2
    nellnewman says:

    Can’t they survive without a mobile phone for a few days! Pathetic!


  3. 3
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Must be awful not being able to use inside information on timing of Cameron’s exit from Downing Street.


  4. 5
    LibDem says:

    I’m trying to take a daytime photo of Uranus.


  5. 7
    Paniagua v5 says:

    *Praying for forked lightning*


  6. 8
    Crackpot says:

    An Away Day, One could always hope the bloody shower never come back !!

    May be we should ask Obama what they are talking about,after all Cameron has allowed them to spy on each of Britains citizens,the Traitor. Bring back Hanging, I say !!


  7. 8
    Rebekah says:

    You’re in my neck of woods. Anyone fancy a country supper?


  8. 10
    giggles easily says:

    partial ROFL


  9. 11
    Don't mess abhat says:

    Dutch King Willem-Alexander declares the end of the welfare state
    Youngest monarch in Europe says people must take responsibility for their own future and create their own social and financial safety nets

    Thats the way to do it…………


    • 13
      Whiffler says:

      Meanwhile, Jo Coburn talks of “The Government’s under-occupancy charge – or Bedroom Tax as critics call it”

      It’s not a tax or a charge, but will the BBC admit it ?


      • 57
        What can we tax next? says:

        Is there no one in the Tory Party with the balls to ask the BBC why they insist on calling it a tax instead of a reduced subsidy?


  10. 12
    A Briton says:

    Cameron out of touch? Surely not.


  11. 14
    Elfin Safety says:

    Is that slide strong enough? Where are the side barriers and regulation 50mm rubber matting?


  12. 15
    Fashion Police says:

    The Edinburgh Woollen Mill shop in Chipping Norton High Street has suddenly had a run on pullovers


  13. 17
    Modern managers suck says:

    We have someone in our company that does this “team building” crap. I completely refuse to do it as its belittling and at my age they can all fuck off with there fancy management tools and ideas.
    I note the prat who organises this never actually takes part. Cnut


    • 24
      Modern managers suck says:

      Does this AS team building —-fuckingandroids


    • 63
      Been there, done that says:

      Take it from me, it’s even worse when they do take part. They pretend to be really keen and lead from the front. It’s totally embarrassing.


    • 85
      Are you sure that you do not wish to participate says:

      I, too, decline invitations to participate in such lunacy.
      Spend the day on the naughty step (and listen to my ipod!)


    • 94
      Anonymous says:

      You do realise that you will have ben singled out for when they need redundancies dont you? you are a pain in the butt.


  14. 18
    White men maybe can't jump but... says:

    Your phones not safe there buddy


  15. 20
    P l e b says:

    The obnoxious Nadhim Zahawi,who was given asylum in this country from his native Iraq before becoming a Tory mp is on Newsnight talking about the skivers having more bedrooms than the private sector.
    Perhaps he should remember that if this country had not given him and his family a few bedrooms he wouldn’t be where he is today.


    • 23
      Cock up the arsehole time says:

      Show more respect – that’s Dave’s favourite raghead you’re talking about.


    • 28
      Tory Cat says:

      No one has an argument for not giving immigrants and asylum seekers a council house, however they are expected to get a job and buy or privately rent their own property eventually. Social housing isn’t a life-style choice, just a safety net. And Nadhim Zahawi is proof that it can be done.


      • 66
        Someone sensible says:

        I do. Immigrants should house themselves without a public subsidy. If they can’t afford to live here (driving down local wages) without being subsidized they and their cheapskate employers should fuck off.


        • 80
          Anonymous says:

          All this talk is wasted.

          Non of the liblabcon are able, or want, to restrict legal and illegal immigration.

          Bleat all you want but you are pissing in the wind during a hurricane.

          UKIP are the only party proposing to leave the EU and thereafter have some control over both legal and illegal immigration into this country.


  16. 22
    Angry bird says:

    People of other countries are rebelling against their corrupt leaders,taking them out and shooting them,what do we do,we let them rob us blind and still let them get into power and continue robbing us.
    Things will not alter until we bring these crooks to justice and make sure that they never hold office again


  17. 25
    Tooting Unpopular Front says:

    The Bedroom Tax. A housing policy dreamed up by a millionaire Minister like IDS
    was always doomed to fail.
    Only the deluded could have come up with such a scheme, whereby
    new tenants would snap up all the available one bed flats, leaving
    those with two, and only needing one, having to take an income hit,
    because there’s nowhere to go. It wouldn’t have occurred to him to
    enquire as to how many one bed flats were available for rent, him being
    a millionaire and all.
    You gotta hand it to IDS, he’s created a housing crisis all on his own,
    and he’s so thick he really believes it’s a success!
    So come on Mr Clegg, your next success should be telling Cameroon
    to get rid of IDS. Pronto.


    • 30
      C.O.Jones says:

      It’s not a tax.


    • 31
      IDS says:

      Well we worked out on the basis of all the fags smoked,beer drunk and houses with Sky subscriptions,that people on benefits are obviously getting too much money.
      Paying £15 a week towards your rent was seen as a fair way of clawing some of it back.


    • 37
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      Get a fuckin’ job!


    • 51
      P l e b says:

      Stupefying incompetence. You can’t expect people to move into suitable housing that isn’t there, overnight. Grant Shapps – don’t get me started. Arrogant, sly little tw*t. Who let him grow up? IDS – thick as pig shit. How did they get to be in charge of anything, let alone people’s lives?
      This isn’t a policy. It’s shameless bullying. How many ‘spare’ bedrooms do all members of the cabinet have I wonder? How many ‘spare’ houses come to that.
      Hateful, vindictive and WRONG


      • 56
        Steve Miliband says:

        Are the houses they bought for themselves?


        • 62
          TV licence really IS a tax. says:

          So Pleb thinks it’s fairer for a family with kids in need of accommodation
          to share one room while a single person lives in a three bedroom house?


          • Just Sayin' says:

            If it’s a family of immigrants they should go back home.

            If it is locals, they should get a job and hop on the housing ladder.

            State should not be subsidizing accommodation in any case.

            Allow price discovery to normalize in housing for rents and valuations, ie. stop government interference, and many of these problems will resolve.


          • REALWORLDER says:

            The world is NOT and never will be “fair” the word should not be used by
            adults.Fairness is simplistic childish concept.


          • Anonymous says:

            Exactly, there has been no mention of those in overcrowded houses. Oh no ” my grandkids visit me every 3 years i need a room for them” FFS.


      • 64
        Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

        You have 3 solutions to find the £15 per week.

        1. Ciut down on the booze and fags (1 pint of beer a day less or 3 packs of cigs a week less)

        2. Take in a lodger

        3. Get a fuckin’ job


  18. 26
    M103 says:

    “Tory Thought Camp”? I doubt it.



  19. 32
    Hunt the ferret says:


    • 36
      There as this one time at thought camp says:

      Having thunk about it I’ve come to conclusion that David Cameron is a c*nt.


      • 65
        thank god for that says:

        But he will never reach the huge c*ntish proportions of Blair, Brown,Balls or Campbell.


      • 83
        Anonymous says:

        Your splitting hairs…

        CaMoron is an utter war mongering cnut.

        He is also a liar and lefty social democrat, which further qualifies him as a


  20. 35
    Village Idiot says:

    …..Who on earth can we turn to , to clean up politics and all the other things the educated elite have seen fit to rob and trash with their greed and incompetence??
    So far it seems like George Galloway and……………..Please, someone pick up the mantle and “out” these people…Journalists this is a good cause,which some carry out very well! I am a kipper because there is no other choice!


    • 43
      There you go says:

      Have you seen the film ‘Human Centipede’?
      Where each person has his face stuck up the arse of the one in front.
      That is basically what Westminster is like.
      Stephanie Flanders being in-between the two Eds of course.


    • 95
      Anonymous says:

      What are you on about, that was gibberish


  21. 42
    Curious says:

    I’m sure the mobile reception will be suitably shit but what’s less clear is the real story behind that strange photo.


  22. 48
    Nooky says:

    More news shortly. Said F4J Founder Matt O’Connor, “We regard this as nothing less than political censorship. There are no grounds for any ban and Twitter have failed to provide any examples where we have breached their T&C’s.”


    • 82
      Someone sensible says:

      Woman gets power and oppresses men. How surprising.

      I always knew many feminist claims about ‘equality’ were nonsense


  23. 52
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP


  24. 55
    Yeed Army says:

    Perhaps Cameron should try and make the case that mis-pronounced endonyms are not acceptable to be uttered in a country that prides itself on being socially responsible.


  25. 59
    Margaret Beckett says:

    Twerk it!


  26. 60
    Ed Miliband says:

    To all PLP members, we shall be holding a church service prior to our conference next week at St Martin in the Fields, and Ed has kindly written a little prayer


  27. 61
    Hmmmmm says:

    Completely O/T. But watch some members of the audience whilst Mr Clegg pontificates on his success of the same-sex marriage bill. A sight to behold. Certainly not all libbies are singing from the same song sheet.


  28. 69
    Penguine Books says:

    Campbell’s book has the working title: How To Murder Doctors and Other Stories.


    • 71
      Al Quaeda Anonymous says:

      Please report to your nearest AA group, our treatment has clearly not been effective


    • 72
      Casual Observer 2 says:

      Al Campbell is a vicious little propaganda merchant who should be kept far from the public gaze.

      In time, those who need to deal with him will.


      • 77
        Film Critic says:

        And of course totally wrong about Kubrick’s film. King’s own attempt was a feeble failure.


        • 81
          Casual Observer 2 says:

          Kubrick did a good job with the book.

          There was a lot that could not have been done due to technical limitations of cinema at the time, but the adaptations for the screen play did not detract from the original narrative.

          One could credibly argue that the changes added tension and deepened the narrative somewhat. The large hedge apparitions in King’s original were somewhat ‘cheesy’. .

          The one adaptation he could have legitimate complaint about the movie adaptation of is ‘The Running Man’.


    • 75
      Alastair Campbell Tweets says:

      Loving US air force demolishing Iraqi homes.


    • 78
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      Please report to the nearest Dignitas clinic.


  29. 84
    Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofsky says:

    Tory thought camp. Who? What? Why? Where? When?


  30. 86
    Hang The Bostards says:

    What a waste of time.

    If they spend a day and dont get these as the top three priorities, then they truely are both fucked and clueless:

    (1) Offer the EU Referendum before the Election

    (2) Cut taxes properly

    (3) Stop turning the UK into an extension of the Middle East


  31. 97
    Sophie says:

    There is often a lack of mobile signal around Chipping, darling. It’s time ‘Camers’ did something about it! At Becca’s next dinner party, I’ll get roger to mention it.


  32. 98
    The Groundsman says:

    They were all pissed?


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