September 19th, 2013

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly. All the latest on Miliband’s Millionaires and more…

Thousands of Westminster wags read the Guidogram every week, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. 

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    Fist says:

    No, thanks.


    • 2
      Handy Tip says:

      It’s easy to unsubscribe.


      • 3
        Fist says:

        I have thousands of email accounts. How the fuck am I supposed to find the one that the Guidogram goes to, clever-clogs?


        • 4

          I doubt that you actually have thousands of email accounts. However, I understand your problem because I use a number of email accounts and names for my different identities. It takes a lot of work, but I find that as long as I document things properly and keep proper records, I am able to achieve my purpose. Unfortunately, it looks as if things may have got out of control for you. Good luck getting it under control.



          • Blue Peter Goldfish says:

            Comment of the day, or of two decades:
            “Things have gone out of control”


          • @sockpuppet

            Well done! You have finally managed to hit upon a prime!

            Not that difficult, is it? I would open a bottle and celebrate this little success, if I were you. This first milestone on a very long journey.

            You see, the problem is that in my series, you cannot have any old prime number. There are a huge number of them, they go on for ever.

            It must be within a certain series of them. What is more, that number may not be used more than once. Where it has been, the series skips to the next unused number. I said I would explain it all to you, given time. Problem is, you do not know which ones I have used. I sometimes go back and post on previous pages.

            The real question that is puzzling me is: When does an obsession become an illness?



          • Cock up the arsehole time says:

            He who can predict winning numbers should not set off fire crackers.


          • Blue Peter Goldfish says:

            When does an obsession become an illness?

            In your case, Cat, it was the day you told The Bank to shove it up their bumhole.


          • Only one person here who is crackers and it ain’t me, old bean.

            Just warning you as I am a decent sort, I have laid a trap. A double one…



          • Well done Schrodinger’s cat – you certainly seem to have frightened off the sock puppet!


        • 12
      • 20
        Holepunch says:

        Why bother to subscribe? It’s the comments which are most interesting


    • 16
      Microshaft says:

      Why does my computer always say welcome and then proceed to fuck me up the arse and turn the fan on?


  2. 5
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    How much would it cost to move Birmingham 20 minutes closer to London ?


    • 6
      Jabba Le Chat says:

      Obliterate Birmingham and the problem is solved…


    • 7
      Obvious says:

      Why not move London?


      • 8
        East Londoner says:

        A proper socialist government would simply abolish trains altogether and make everyone walk.


        • 24
          Brum says:

          We’re halfway there already as on most peak time trains from Birmingham to London it’s standing only anyway


        • 29
          Caroline Lucas says:

          ‘A proper socialist government would simply abolish trains altogether and make everyone walk.’

          Good idea


      • 10
        The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

        You mean to a place full of foreigners? Haha!


      • 19
        Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

        Poor old Londonistan.

        I suppose a sales assistant at Selfridges telling a paying customer to eff off says it all. Amazon would never say that to me.


        • 31
          You abide by your terms of employment or you leave or are sacked says:

          First Selfridges suspended the assistant and then backed down. If you are employed in a retail organisation you serve customers even though you may disagree with their political views.It’s that simple. Selfridges should have stuck to their guns and disciplined the guy for “Gross Misconduct” under the terms of his contract of employment. At the very least he should have had a written warning placed in his staff file to the effect that a further breach would result in dismissal.


    • 15
      Meg Richardson says:

      Or to put it another way, £50m so some brummies can stay in bed for another 20 mins.


      • 35
        Brum says:

        Nobody I know in Birmingham wants HS2 and certainly nobody along its route. It’s totally pointless given the fact that people can video conference quite easily without having to travel and in any event you can get to Birmingham from London in just over hour and quarter on Virgin Trains


      • 36
        Gog says:

        £50bn surely?


  3. 9
    The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

    Why is Labour not worried by UKIP when they are losing more votes to them than the Tories are, who are panicking?


    • 13
      The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:



    • 21
      Gooey Blob says:

      Polling shows the Ukip ceiling – the most votes they could possibly acquire – is much lower than the Con or Lab ceiling, and most importantly of all, below the level they need to gain even a single MP. 2015, 2020, 2025… it doesn’t matter, they’ll never be a force in UK politics and their only chance of an MP is an exceptional by-election.

      Labour don’t need to worry about Ukip. They need to spend more time worrying about their leader instead.


  4. 11
    money grabbing r-soles says:

    JP Morgan fined £572m over ‘London Whale’ trading scandal.

    With Blair advising and mini-Blair working for them, scandal seems to be an apt word.


  5. 38
    Coeur_de_lion says:

    Oh dear, Labour looking to penalise hard working people again. Companies make savings using self-employed people, and pass these savings on to them in the shape of higher rates of pay.

    Payroll firms then help those self-employed people by providing insurance, sorting their tax and allowances, and getting them paid without having to go through the expense of setting up their own ‘company’ and the hassle of invoicing to get paid.

    Which, if Labour get their way, means they ‘work’ for the payroll company. And Labour will then insist that these people are paid PAYE, meaning lower rates of pay.



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Scary No Messages Don’t Add Up | Sun
Feminist War on Children | Laura Perrins
An English Parliament is Now Inevitable Whatever Happens | Alex Wickham
Union All But Over Even if Scots Vote No | Janan Ganesh
Unionists Outgunned | Times
Unionists Outgunned | Times
Labour Will Lose Commons if Scotland Votes Yes | Times
Miliband Blanked Gordon | Damian McBride
Cameron Surrenders Keys to Union | Rachel Sylvester
Boris Not Moving to Uxbridge | Scrapbook

Find out more about PLMR

Gyles Brandreth writes in his memoirs:

“Sunday, May 10, 1998

Early start: appearing on Breakfast With Frost, to be broadcast from 11 Downing Street. The Chancellor [Gordon Brown] is grouchily amiable, but so earnest — and still biting his fingernails to the quick.

After the show, he took us upstairs to his flat. He lives above No 10, while Blair and family are in the No 11 duplex, which is bigger and more like a proper house.

I was intrigued that, when he took us into his bedroom, the Chancellor rather ostentatiously opened the built-in wardrobes, as if he wanted us to see the women’s frocks that were hanging in there.

They looked quite large, but I don’t think they belong to Gordon. I assume they belong to his girlfriend [Sarah Macaulay, who he later married].

I presume he was keen for us to know that he has one — and that she’s not a ‘beard’. I don’t think he does anything without calculation.”

The British media are Hunts says:

Now the SNP know how UKIP voters feel all the time.

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