September 19th, 2013

And You Thought the Worst of the Cuts Were Over

Since Guido questioned just what was going on with George Osborne’s footballers that look like lesbians’ hair cut last week, coif connoisseurs have been queueing up to pass judgement. Brent Pankhurst of Pankhurst Barbers delivers his cutting verdict to GQ.

“This looks like its been cut by a ladies’ hairdresser to me. It’s far too round on the sides and with that flick-y bit at the back it’s all a little drag queen-ish. It just looks like Anne Diamond’s hair.”

Catwalk hair stylist Matt Mulhall snipes:

“Wispy feathered sides and back on a man of a certain age is a definite no-no. It’s so bizarre.”

The fashion police have spoken…


  1. 1
    Camp Hairdresser (they all are) says:

    I’d have cut it back further …

    Straight across the shoulders with a axe


  2. 2
    hair today ... bald git tomorrow says:

    oh what cutting remarks


  3. 4
    Ed Balls says:

    Too far, too fast


  4. 5
    Fashion Blog says:

    I recognise the guy on the right. But who is the one on the left?


  5. 6
    Anonymous says:

    sad really the guy is obviously going thin on top.


  6. 7
    Labour toff watch says:

    The one difference between Labour and Tories is the Tories have less millionaires but more success unlike Labour who have more millionaires and no success.


  7. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Sad Really the guy is going thin on top.


    • 75
      The UnQuiet Man says:

      Nah, he hasn’t had much up top for many years now, its probably to do with his ‘Mates’ bashing his bonce on the furniture at college :)


  8. 9
    Gideon has gone for the Caroline look. says:


  9. 10

    Not exactly a hair-blender.


  10. 11
    Labour Spokesperson says:

    This is a disgraceful cut.

    But we have no plans to reverse it.


  11. 12
    Labour poll tax shhhh!! says:

    Unlike the community charge which was not a poll tax this certainly is if Labour go ahead.
    GF — Labour are mooting charging people to take part in their London Mayoral candidate primary

    Don’t expect to see this on BBC or the great unwashed layabouts rioting in the streets


  12. 13
    Metrosexual says:

    Is Osborne a gayer?


  13. 18
    Even Guido's readers might thank George Galloway says:


  14. 21
    Alphons says:

    “And You Thought the Worst of the Cuts Were Over”
    I think if you look carefully there is an “n” missing!


    • 28
      Thanks, LimpDims, now I've got to buy lunch for millionaires' kids says:

      Must be cu*ts, because I’ve seen no cuts.

      ‘Bedroom tax’ brought in to save £500 million a year. What do the govt do with the saving? Put it towards £600 million to blow annually on rich kids’ dinners.


  15. 23
    Anonymous says:

    No haircut will hide that double chin.


  16. 31
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Forget the haircut this man is a thieving shyster.

    All that talk about selling “our” shares in Lloyds at a profit is absolute bullshit.

    The shares were purchased in Oct 2008 for an adjusted price of 73.6 and he has barely got more than this back.

    When you take into account firstly we have received no dividends or interest for five years and that we have been saddle with Three billion pounds of interest paying debt throughout the period you can start calculating the lying deceit of this man.

    As if pleased with himself as his mates in the City seem to think the shares are due an upgrade he promises us the public that we will soon be given the chance to buy back our own shares.

    Well Mr Osborne I will buy a bucket load at 73.6p please.

    The man is dodgy. The man is untrustworthy. The man has his hands on our assets.


  17. 33
    SleeplessInKirkaldy says:

    The first cut won’t hurt at all
    The second only makes you wonder…


  18. 35
    Fluffy Thoughts says:

    It ain’t difficult to look stupid like that: Consider….

    Your hair is too long but you are told a hair-cut is not right for the times. Reluctantly you relent and slumber into your travels.

    Your journey is soothed away whilst you listen to Accept’s lullaby. Suddenly your journey ends….

    Ripping-offf your Sony cushioned muffs you seek to hide your guilty, anti-Smithsian, approach to politics and music. Foolishly you forget that your natural instincts are to pull you ‘phones forward. Without checking your image you walk into the cameras of yesterday’s news….


  19. 37
    Point of Information 7 says:

    The biggest collateral damage the UK experienced as a result of the no vote on Syr!a is with its perception and reputation in the Gulf States.

    If the arms deals fall through as a result that will have a direct negative impact on the UK economy. Whilst the no vote was perhaps the correct action, the way it came about compounded with Labour’s poor record with maintaining relations with the Gulf States destroyed the significant efforts the current government had made in repairing these relations.

    The lesser spoken about significant fact is that due to cuts that have been ongoing in defense budget, the UK does not have the capability of engaging in more than one theater at a time meaningfully.

    This should be of significant concern.


  20. 48
    Crackpot says:

    Gideon’s haircut is a daft as his management of the economy or I should have said mis-management. He has/is fuelling a Housing bubble which will burst after the next election only for some other amateur Chancellor to serve more hardship onto the British people. He should be locked up for what he is doing and knows what he is doing, Treason comes to mind, he has not got the guts to tell hiss “Puppet” Masters to sod off but then again his loyalty is not to this Country.


  21. 53
    Mong Watch says:

    Why doesn’t George just go with the full Brazil!an, like Hague ?


  22. 60
    BONA law says:

    julian isn’t he bold?

    sandy ‘as ‘e vada’d ‘is eke yet today?


  23. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Have either Gideon or Boris ever been involved in litigation with their barber???


  24. 63
    Former Elm Guest House Cleaning Lady says:

    Highly unrealistic photograph.

    Shouldn’t he have a ten pound note up his hooter?


  25. 65
    Lurcio says:

    Gideon plays Caligula in the remake of “I, Claudius”.


  26. 73
    Anonymous says:

    I like it – makes him look more middle class (unfashionable to like the middle classes I know, but I am proud to be bourgeois), and less coiffed quiff, upper class twit Bullingdon Club.


    • 77
      Vote L/L/C for (as yet daft) expenses says:

      Rubbish! He looks like a greasy, rough-cut criminal and very white-faced like he never see the sun. I think the one piece of advice I’d give him is make himself physically fit and glowing with health, not try to disguise his penchant for darkness and austerity with a “we’re all slumming this together” look.


  27. 76
    Mercian says:

    I can’t tell any difference. Who looks at a bloke’s hair?


    • 78
      Vote L/L/C for (as yet daft) expenses says:

      The answer is in the question. At high level diplomacy you don’t see Putin looking like some dog-eared cheapy ordinary man. You project your nation. He is not expected to be a “bloke” rather a symbol.


  28. 80
    moto says:

    Guido, you may have a scoop here. looks like he has been riding motorcycles or scooters, that is exacty what happens to your hair if you have been wearing a helmet and a balaclava.


  29. 81
    geordieboy says:

    Napoleon had a very similar hair style his barber only had one arm.


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