September 19th, 2013

And You Thought the Worst of the Cuts Were Over

Since Guido questioned just what was going on with George Osborne’s footballers that look like lesbians’ hair cut last week, coif connoisseurs have been queueing up to pass judgement. Brent Pankhurst of Pankhurst Barbers delivers his cutting verdict to GQ.

“This looks like its been cut by a ladies’ hairdresser to me. It’s far too round on the sides and with that flick-y bit at the back it’s all a little drag queen-ish. It just looks like Anne Diamond’s hair.”

Catwalk hair stylist Matt Mulhall snipes:

“Wispy feathered sides and back on a man of a certain age is a definite no-no. It’s so bizarre.”

The fashion police have spoken…


  1. 1
    Camp Hairdresser (they all are) says:

    I’d have cut it back further …

    Straight across the shoulders with a axe

  2. 2
    hair today ... bald git tomorrow says:

    oh what cutting remarks

  3. 3
    cult cutter says:

    you could have balls instead

  4. 4
    Ed Balls says:

    Too far, too fast

  5. 5
    Fashion Blog says:

    I recognise the guy on the right. But who is the one on the left?

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    sad really the guy is obviously going thin on top.

  7. 7
    Labour toff watch says:

    The one difference between Labour and Tories is the Tories have less millionaires but more success unlike Labour who have more millionaires and no success.

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Sad Really the guy is going thin on top.

  9. 9
    Gideon has gone for the Caroline look. says:

  10. 10

    Not exactly a hair-blender.

  11. 11
    Labour Spokesperson says:

    This is a disgraceful cut.

    But we have no plans to reverse it.

  12. 12
    Labour poll tax shhhh!! says:

    Unlike the community charge which was not a poll tax this certainly is if Labour go ahead.
    GF — Labour are mooting charging people to take part in their London Mayoral candidate primary

    Don’t expect to see this on BBC or the great unwashed layabouts rioting in the streets

  13. 13
    Metrosexual says:

    Is Osborne a gayer?

  14. 14
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Someone should write a book titled “Toffs,Trots and Troughs” about MP’s and their expenses ;-)

  15. 15
    Better late than never - waked waked version says:

    That happened weeks ago and this guy is a postgrad?? FFS make him a Labour MP quick he would fit in really well.

  16. 16
    Guido Porn star says:

    God help us if Guido starts exhibiting himself.
    First up his porn star pubic hair trim.

  17. 17
    Lord Bryant of undies and selfie and eyebrows Burnham says:

    Not sure shall I check

  18. 18
    Even Guido's readers might thank George Galloway says:
  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    If going bald as a coot one should try not to imitate the feathers also.

  20. 20
    The British public says:

    “Toffees + Trotties = Troughies”?

  21. 21
    Alphons says:

    “And You Thought the Worst of the Cuts Were Over”
    I think if you look carefully there is an “n” missing!

  22. 22
    BBC news we concentrated only on the single Tory in top 10 and forgot to mention Labour Party says:

    Top 10 troughing MPs 9 were labour

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    No haircut will hide that double chin.

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    FFS Guido,is it a slow news day ? you must be desperate if you are recycling a pathetic story like this a week later !give us some news man ! Looking in to Bernard and the “Police gate” fiasco would be a start !

  25. 25
    Gordon McFuckwit-Bust says:

    I saved the world you know i really did. you should be thankful it ain’t Me you know

    Did I mention I saved the world on Obama beach?

  26. 26
  27. 27
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Feeling better today, Holby?

  28. 28
    Thanks, LimpDims, now I've got to buy lunch for millionaires' kids says:

    Must be cu*ts, because I’ve seen no cuts.

    ‘Bedroom tax’ brought in to save £500 million a year. What do the govt do with the saving? Put it towards £600 million to blow annually on rich kids’ dinners.

  29. 29
    Scissor Sister says:

    Nearly everyone is to the left of Georgy.

  30. 30
    Nah says:

  31. 31
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Forget the haircut this man is a thieving shyster.

    All that talk about selling “our” shares in Lloyds at a profit is absolute bullshit.

    The shares were purchased in Oct 2008 for an adjusted price of 73.6 and he has barely got more than this back.

    When you take into account firstly we have received no dividends or interest for five years and that we have been saddle with Three billion pounds of interest paying debt throughout the period you can start calculating the lying deceit of this man.

    As if pleased with himself as his mates in the City seem to think the shares are due an upgrade he promises us the public that we will soon be given the chance to buy back our own shares.

    Well Mr Osborne I will buy a bucket load at 73.6p please.

    The man is dodgy. The man is untrustworthy. The man has his hands on our assets.

  32. 32
    anonnymous says:

    *snogs hi-res screenshot of her baldy hero , masticatin*

  33. 33
    SleeplessInKirkaldy says:

    The first cut won’t hurt at all
    The second only makes you wonder…

  34. 34
    Read the Contents says:

    Wrong Blog Mate. This place is for tittle tattle, gossip and that sort of stuff. If you want to pretend to be above all that then Join Polly and Moonbat over at CiF

  35. 35
    Fluffy Thoughts says:

    It ain’t difficult to look stupid like that: Consider….

    Your hair is too long but you are told a hair-cut is not right for the times. Reluctantly you relent and slumber into your travels.

    Your journey is soothed away whilst you listen to Accept’s lullaby. Suddenly your journey ends….

    Ripping-offf your Sony cushioned muffs you seek to hide your guilty, anti-Smithsian, approach to politics and music. Foolishly you forget that your natural instincts are to pull you ‘phones forward. Without checking your image you walk into the cameras of yesterday’s news….

  36. 36
    George Osbrown says:

    If I have to take a haircut so will the British public.

  37. 37
    Point of Information 7 says:

    The biggest collateral damage the UK experienced as a result of the no vote on Syr!a is with its perception and reputation in the Gulf States.

    If the arms deals fall through as a result that will have a direct negative impact on the UK economy. Whilst the no vote was perhaps the correct action, the way it came about compounded with Labour’s poor record with maintaining relations with the Gulf States destroyed the significant efforts the current government had made in repairing these relations.

    The lesser spoken about significant fact is that due to cuts that have been ongoing in defense budget, the UK does not have the capability of engaging in more than one theater at a time meaningfully.

    This should be of significant concern.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    It’s about Gid’s cut style.

  39. 39
    Bluebottle says:

    When we boughted all those shares for 73.6p on October 2008 the Ftse100 stood at 3861.

    When that man solded the shares yesterday for 77p the Ftse 100 stood at 6654.

    Can we have the rest of our money now please?

  40. 40
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    When you go to prison haircuts are free.

  41. 41
    your mum says:

    bit rich for you guys to be having a go at peoples barnet.

    Geedo has a badger streak in his hair and carry holes hair is textbook over privileged chump.

  42. 42
    Justin Bouffant says:

    Are they worth combing through?

  43. 43
    your mum says:

    one of them works for GQ, as does his sister. so its mutual back scratching really

  44. 44
    Tony Eden from Eton says:

    Much better to have the Police running around chasing their tails over pleb gate than messing about with this chestnut.

  45. 45
    Obama bitch says:

    Thanks, Jeffrey.

  46. 46
    Guido Fawkes says:

    The current topic is hairdos. If you feel unable to contribute, please leave this chat room and try again later.

  47. 47
    Emir of Qatar says:

    And your lazy pasty footballers cannot play football for 90 minutes in 60C heat, Phwah pathetic *spits on floor*

  48. 48
    Crackpot says:

    Gideon’s haircut is a daft as his management of the economy or I should have said mis-management. He has/is fuelling a Housing bubble which will burst after the next election only for some other amateur Chancellor to serve more hardship onto the British people. He should be locked up for what he is doing and knows what he is doing, Treason comes to mind, he has not got the guts to tell hiss “Puppet” Masters to sod off but then again his loyalty is not to this Country.

  49. 49
    duck's arse says:

    Great band. Ana Matronic makes me want to reach for the gel. Can anyone spot Graeme Garden’s son in this vid?

  50. 50
    Point of Information 7 says:

    Topic seems to be hair-cuts, and cuts in general.

  51. 51
    Paniagua v5 says:

    If hairstyles reflected economic management Ed Balls would have mange.

  52. 52
    Justin Bouffant says:

    The ‘bird’s nest’ is coming back into fashion.

  53. 53
    Mong Watch says:

    Why doesn’t George just go with the full Brazil!an, like Hague ?

  54. 54

    Abso-bloody-lutely tickey pooh!

  55. 55
    Bunter, B. says:

    Rich kids’ dinners that neither they or their parents want.

  56. 56
    Anonymous says:

    I thought that was Mandelson.

  57. 57
    C.O.Jones says:

    That’s a wind up POI7. Guido would not have any contributors if we had to stay on topic.

    Don’t think that was Guido posting.

  58. 58
    C.O.Jones says:

    In fact that’s not Guido. No spelling mistakes – clear give away.

  59. 59
    dai laughing says:

    looks all right for sweeping chimneys

  60. 60
    BONA law says:

    julian isn’t he bold?

    sandy ‘as ‘e vada’d ‘is eke yet today?

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Have either Gideon or Boris ever been involved in litigation with their barber???

  62. 62
    KY (Kentucky) says:

    Superb video but with so many quick cuts it is difficult to spot JJ Garden.
    I do know where the band gets its name from – a lesbian sex act.

  63. 63
    Former Elm Guest House Cleaning Lady says:

    Highly unrealistic photograph.

    Shouldn’t he have a ten pound note up his hooter?

  64. 64
  65. 65
    Lurcio says:

    Gideon plays Caligula in the remake of “I, Claudius”.

  66. 66
    Gideon says:

    I am not too sure but the one on the right looks very like Mr Bean

  67. 67
    Gideon says:


  68. 68
    Gideon says:

    He will be able to charge his solar battery much better, just look at Willie Hague his battery is always charged up

  69. 69
    Gideon says:

    Rum and Coke (the very old recipe)?

  70. 70
    Gideon says:

    Maybe the cuts have not hit you yet, don’t worry they will

  71. 71
    Gideon says:

    I have heard hat Sweeny Todd does a very, very close shave

  72. 72
    Gideon says:


  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    I like it – makes him look more middle class (unfashionable to like the middle classes I know, but I am proud to be bourgeois), and less coiffed quiff, upper class twit Bullingdon Club.

  74. 74
    Fashion Blog says:

    It’s the only place he is “going thin”.

  75. 75
    The UnQuiet Man says:

    Nah, he hasn’t had much up top for many years now, its probably to do with his ‘Mates’ bashing his bonce on the furniture at college :)

  76. 76
    Mercian says:

    I can’t tell any difference. Who looks at a bloke’s hair?

  77. 77
    Vote L/L/C for (as yet daft) expenses says:

    Rubbish! He looks like a greasy, rough-cut criminal and very white-faced like he never see the sun. I think the one piece of advice I’d give him is make himself physically fit and glowing with health, not try to disguise his penchant for darkness and austerity with a “we’re all slumming this together” look.

  78. 78
    Vote L/L/C for (as yet daft) expenses says:

    The answer is in the question. At high level diplomacy you don’t see Putin looking like some dog-eared cheapy ordinary man. You project your nation. He is not expected to be a “bloke” rather a symbol.

  79. 79
    FFFS! says:

    There is only one theatre the DEFENCE FORCES should be engaged in! The defence of the realm! The rest is nothing to do with GB.

  80. 80
    moto says:

    Guido, you may have a scoop here. looks like he has been riding motorcycles or scooters, that is exacty what happens to your hair if you have been wearing a helmet and a balaclava.

  81. 81
    geordieboy says:

    Napoleon had a very similar hair style his barber only had one arm.

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