September 16th, 2013

Yellow on Yellow: Cable Cabinet Clash

It has been widely reported today that Danny Alexander and Vince Cable are barely on speaking terms, with the Mail this moring added that the tension boiled over last Tuesday at Cabinet. Guido hears that Vince was giving a presentation on SMEs when Grant Shapps and Oliver Letwin turned on the Business Secretary, suggesting that  while the government is ‘bureaucracy busting’ Cable is ‘doing the opposite at BIS’ and ‘creating new red tape’. Much to the surprise of everyone, not least Vince, Alexander then weighed in on the attack, agreeing that Cable should be doing more to tackle red tape. Guido’s eyes and ears in the room say Uncle Fester got incredibly defensive and looked even more miffed than usual by the end. No wonder he’s grumpy this week. 


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Probably has something to do with his hemorrhoids…


    • 3
      dai laughing says:

      don’t pile it on mate


      • 19

        I would always back Danny in a dispute with Vince.



      • 22
        Anonymous says:

        I “suppose ” it has ….


        • 31
          Django says:

          “Tax his land, tax his wage,
          Tax his bed in which he lays.
          Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
          Teach him taxes is the rule

          Tax his cow, tax his goat,
          Tax his pants, tax his coat.
          Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
          Tax his work, tax his dirt
          Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
          Teach him taxes are no joke.

          Tax his car, tax his grass,
          Tax the roads he must pass
          Tax his food, tax his drink,
          Tax him if he tries to think.
          Tax his sodas, tax his beers,
          If he cries, tax his tears

          Tax his bills, tax his gas,
          Tax his notes, tax his cash.
          Tax him good and let him know
          That after taxes, he has no dough
          If he hollers, tax him more,
          Tax him until he’s good and sore.

          Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
          Tax the sod in which he lays
          Put these words upon his tomb,
          “Taxes drove me to my doom!”
          And when he’s gone, we won’t relax,
          We’ll still be after the inheritance tax “


    • 5
      Vince Incapable says:

      Well…I am a bit of an anusol


    • 6
      splutter splutter says:

      did you hear the ad agency’s suggestion for a newe brand name for ANUSOL?



      • 8
        PC Dixon says:

        Brilliant Mr Splutter – haven’t laughed so much in ages


      • 17
        Tay King-dePisse says:

        Of course, if your lips have been altogether TOO close to the posterior orifice of someone, a bit of Anusol “Liberally” applied orally MAY be indicated. (And I’m not speaking only of Mr Oaten’s “bit of business” here.)


      • 79
        Nogbad the Bad says:

        Old joke but………..Vince got his Anusol and his Colgate mixed up. When his gums shrank all his teeth fell out, but the Colgate gave him the ring of confidence.


    • 41
      Gooey Blob says:

      Vince would make a better Labour leader than he would leader of the Lib Dems. Trouble is, old leftie that he is, he’s still way to the right of the current union-dominated Labour lot.


  2. 2
    dai laughing says:

    like his colleagues he’s never actually run anything

    its little more than a college tuck-shop strategy committee bust up


    • 48
      Gor Blimey, Wisdom from Westminster is not an option says:

      Uncle St Vice the Incapable came out on BBC radio today that he had been in “big business”.
      Being a Shell economic advisor without any responsibility or accountability; and never having started or run a business, is his true record.
      Sad that the Coalition keeps this derelict in place – reminds me of Brown in the past and Balls Up now.


      • 73
        Penfold says:

        At Shell only from 1995-97.

        In the 1970s, he was special advisor to John Smith when the latter was Industry Secretary. He was an advisor to the British government and then to the Commonwealth Secretary-General in the 1970s and 1980s.


  3. 4
    Vince Incapable says:

    2s / 6d is a wage that deserves 50% taxation.
    Who earns that much? Betty Grable. Vivien Leigh. Cary Grant.

    The minimum wage of 4d a day is safe from taxation under the Liberals.’s 2d for a 1st class stamp please.


  4. 7
    Whiffler says:

    It couldn’t happen to a nicer man.


  5. 9
    PC Dixon says:

    No doubt the mans an idiot and out of his depth – why the hell he’s not in old labour were he belongs


  6. 10
    bergen says:

    He really is well past his sell-by date. I look forward to his having the entire autumn on Strictly next year when he has more time on his hands.


  7. 11
    Uncon Vince-ing says:

    I have never met Mr Alexander. Ask Vicky or Chris. They’ll back me up.


  8. 12

    Dangermouse and Penfold have aged horribly.


  9. 14
    Shooty* says:

    Why aren;t Labour wading into the niqab row? *innocent face*


  10. 15
    Calamity Clegg says:

    I don’t know Vince Cable, Chris Huhne or Mike Hancock.I do remember Cyril Smith but I think
    It’s better if you don’t.


  11. 16
    Anonymous says:


  12. 23
    • 30
      Lord Stansted says:

      jesu – 3.4 MB. Must be adobe distiller crap again.


    • 51
      Gor Blimey, Wisdom from the BBC - Impossible says:

      Only stating the bleeding obvious.
      BBC states the report does not place any blame, conveniently forgetting that this was not in their mandate or their short term capability.


      • 59
        Jimmy says:

        Well it’s certainly true the report does not name the source of the Russian rockets with Russian markings. That’s why they’re called diplomats I suppose.

        Our Baathist guidophiles have gone very quiet on this.


    • 67
      The British Public says:

      Syria is none of our business


  13. 29
    Vince Cable MP, Minister For (Giving All Of Us The) Business, says:

    A “point to ponder”– and believe me, I ought to know “ponderous”:


  14. 32
    highway pa-TROLL says:


    CONSUMERS have demanded that shops immediately start selling Christmas stuff.

    Supermarkets, department stores and the remaining branches of HMV faced angry protests at the weekend from shoppers frustrated at their inability to buy goods featuring pictures of snowmen.

    Hotel worker Emma Bradford said: “Look at the calendar, Tesco. Count the days, Debenhams. It’s September the fucking 16th.

    “As far as I’m concerned, that’s Christmas.

    “You can chuck all the barbecue and back to school shit in a skip for all I care, but I want to see those seasonal aisles fully tinselled by the end of the day or I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

    Tom Logan of Northampton agreed: “I was shopping for jeans the other day and I had this empty, desolate feeling, like a shrieking void in my very soul.

    “Then I realised it was because I hadn’t heard Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You for more than eight months.”

    A spokesman for the National Retail Federation admitted that its members had failed a mince pie-deprived nation: “We have staff working overnight painting snow on top of lettering on biscuit tins to meet consumer demand.

    “The British public will be provided with all the festive excuses for grotesque overconsumption that it so desperately needs.”

    However electrician Joseph Turner said: “Fuck Christmas. What I want to know is why aren’t there any bloody Creme Eggs in the shops when I want one?”


    • 61
      A shocked shopper says:

      But we haven’t even been fleeced by Halloween yet


    • 64
      Fishy says:

      My Tesco has been selling Xmas stuff for the past two weeks.

      They’ve also increased the price of petrol to 1.38.9 p per litre, 7p more than in the neighbouring town, Tesco having managed to shut down all the other filling stations where I live.

      Brent crude is down 5% since the start of the month: the £ is up 3% against the dollar; yet petrol is still going up.

      I forgot the price is dependent on Crude, the exchange rate and greed.


  15. 33
    Mixed Emotions says:

    hey, as a pensioner you can imagine my delight when the dwp told me today that I should get a christmas bonus of £10 in early december
    tenfucking quid??? – been the same for 30 years!!!! how much have mps expenses gone up in that time???????
    bastards one and all


  16. 34
    Anonymous says:

    Not all that surprising.

    Alexander is a tory.


  17. 35
    nellnewman says:

    I just wish he’d buy himself a new hat. Everytime I see that hat I think or worzel gummidge!


  18. 37
    Vince Cable's Silly Hat says:

    If Vince Cable was a tin of soup he would have been taken off the shelf. Way past his sell by date.


    • 69
      Johnny Sheepskin says:

      Tin? He’d be a dried up sachet of Knorr vegetable-flavour chemicals with the orange lumps that never, ever, become carrots.


  19. 38
    Tim Farron LibDem Golden Shower Boy says:

    Today I will be love bombing Vince Cable. After today’s speech he looks like a definite future leader.


  20. 57
    highway pa-TROLL says:

    That titfer makes the good Doctor Cable look like a friendly elderly sheepdog version of Al Capone when he was Mug – shotted for tax evasion back in the day .


  21. 60
    Harriet says:

    Has that ginger rodent actually evaded the culling then?


  22. 63
    Baldy Watch says:

    Why does Cable wear a hat? Is it a sign of respect for something? Or is he too mean to buy a wig?


  23. 70
    Penfold says:

    As a Twickenham resident I’m fucking grumpy that we’ve got this proto-Marxist canute as an MP.


  24. 76
    Fishy says:

    Vince on a good day


  25. 85

    Send a get well card


  26. 86
    Ed Miliwit says:

    Sigh. Vince is the sort of unthinking hard-left dogmatist I always wanted to be.


    • 90
      Jeremy Clarkson's alter ego says:

      well once he’s taken over cleggover’s job, he’ll be heading for yours, so i wouldn’t worry.


  27. 92
    Growth Vouchers R Us says:

    First, kill all the SMEs!


  28. 93
    Derek Laud says:

    Boring for a pair of Dib Lems. Can’t we have a good old fashioned Liberal bum shagging and rent boys story? The dib Lems are the biggest gay club out there after all


  29. 94
    John Tandy says:

    Vince Cable reminds me of IDS. Arrogant and out of touch with ordinary people…


  30. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Just Wincie and me and Calamity makes three were happy in our yellow heaven.


  31. 100
    ReefKnot says:

    Vincent Cable is Dr Death.


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