September 16th, 2013

Yellow on Yellow: Cable Cabinet Clash

It has been widely reported today that Danny Alexander and Vince Cable are barely on speaking terms, with the Mail this moring added that the tension boiled over last Tuesday at Cabinet. Guido hears that Vince was giving a presentation on SMEs when Grant Shapps and Oliver Letwin turned on the Business Secretary, suggesting that  while the government is ‘bureaucracy busting’ Cable is ‘doing the opposite at BIS’ and ‘creating new red tape’. Much to the surprise of everyone, not least Vince, Alexander then weighed in on the attack, agreeing that Cable should be doing more to tackle red tape. Guido’s eyes and ears in the room say Uncle Fester got incredibly defensive and looked even more miffed than usual by the end. No wonder he’s grumpy this week. 


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Probably has something to do with his hemorrhoids…

  2. 2
    dai laughing says:

    like his colleagues he’s never actually run anything

    its little more than a college tuck-shop strategy committee bust up

  3. 3
    dai laughing says:

    don’t pile it on mate

  4. 4
    Vince Incapable says:

    2s / 6d is a wage that deserves 50% taxation.
    Who earns that much? Betty Grable. Vivien Leigh. Cary Grant.

    The minimum wage of 4d a day is safe from taxation under the Liberals.’s 2d for a 1st class stamp please.

  5. 5
    Vince Incapable says:

    Well…I am a bit of an anusol

  6. 6
    splutter splutter says:

    did you hear the ad agency’s suggestion for a newe brand name for ANUSOL?


  7. 7
    Whiffler says:

    It couldn’t happen to a nicer man.

  8. 8
    PC Dixon says:

    Brilliant Mr Splutter – haven’t laughed so much in ages

  9. 9
    PC Dixon says:

    No doubt the mans an idiot and out of his depth – why the hell he’s not in old labour were he belongs

  10. 10
    bergen says:

    He really is well past his sell-by date. I look forward to his having the entire autumn on Strictly next year when he has more time on his hands.

  11. 11
    Uncon Vince-ing says:

    I have never met Mr Alexander. Ask Vicky or Chris. They’ll back me up.

  12. 12

    Dangermouse and Penfold have aged horribly.

  13. 13
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Is this a new series?, Strictly Useless.

  14. 14
    Shooty* says:

    Why aren;t Labour wading into the niqab row? *innocent face*

  15. 15
    Calamity Clegg says:

    I don’t know Vince Cable, Chris Huhne or Mike Hancock.I do remember Cyril Smith but I think
    It’s better if you don’t.

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:
  17. 17
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Of course, if your lips have been altogether TOO close to the posterior orifice of someone, a bit of Anusol “Liberally” applied orally MAY be indicated. (And I’m not speaking only of Mr Oaten’s “bit of business” here.)

  18. 18
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Don’t you mean can’t see *guilty face*

  19. 19

    I would always back Danny in a dispute with Vince.


  20. 20
    Shooty* says:

    Oh, bravo. I like that.

  21. 21
    Shooty* says:

    Which one is Vince?

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    I “suppose ” it has ….

  23. 23
  24. 24
    UKIP says:

    Bring back the groat

  25. 25
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    I’m not having that, there can’t have been many “older” people around.

  26. 26
    Sheikh Mabooty says:

    You can’t say she’s being cheeky

  27. 27
    An older person says:

    Condescending bastard.

  28. 28
    highway pa-TROLL says:

    The art of a good policy ?? It’s all in the Preparation ( H ) Mr Cable.

  29. 29
    Vince Cable MP, Minister For (Giving All Of Us The) Business, says:

    A “point to ponder”– and believe me, I ought to know “ponderous”:

  30. 30
    Lord Stansted says:

    jesu – 3.4 MB. Must be adobe distiller crap again.

  31. 31
    Django says:

    “Tax his land, tax his wage,
    Tax his bed in which he lays.
    Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
    Teach him taxes is the rule

    Tax his cow, tax his goat,
    Tax his pants, tax his coat.
    Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
    Tax his work, tax his dirt
    Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
    Teach him taxes are no joke.

    Tax his car, tax his grass,
    Tax the roads he must pass
    Tax his food, tax his drink,
    Tax him if he tries to think.
    Tax his sodas, tax his beers,
    If he cries, tax his tears

    Tax his bills, tax his gas,
    Tax his notes, tax his cash.
    Tax him good and let him know
    That after taxes, he has no dough
    If he hollers, tax him more,
    Tax him until he’s good and sore.

    Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
    Tax the sod in which he lays
    Put these words upon his tomb,
    “Taxes drove me to my doom!”
    And when he’s gone, we won’t relax,
    We’ll still be after the inheritance tax “

  32. 32
    highway pa-TROLL says:


    CONSUMERS have demanded that shops immediately start selling Christmas stuff.

    Supermarkets, department stores and the remaining branches of HMV faced angry protests at the weekend from shoppers frustrated at their inability to buy goods featuring pictures of snowmen.

    Hotel worker Emma Bradford said: “Look at the calendar, Tesco. Count the days, Debenhams. It’s September the fucking 16th.

    “As far as I’m concerned, that’s Christmas.

    “You can chuck all the barbecue and back to school shit in a skip for all I care, but I want to see those seasonal aisles fully tinselled by the end of the day or I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

    Tom Logan of Northampton agreed: “I was shopping for jeans the other day and I had this empty, desolate feeling, like a shrieking void in my very soul.

    “Then I realised it was because I hadn’t heard Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You for more than eight months.”

    A spokesman for the National Retail Federation admitted that its members had failed a mince pie-deprived nation: “We have staff working overnight painting snow on top of lettering on biscuit tins to meet consumer demand.

    “The British public will be provided with all the festive excuses for grotesque overconsumption that it so desperately needs.”

    However electrician Joseph Turner said: “Fuck Christmas. What I want to know is why aren’t there any bloody Creme Eggs in the shops when I want one?”

  33. 33
    Mixed Emotions says:

    hey, as a pensioner you can imagine my delight when the dwp told me today that I should get a christmas bonus of £10 in early december
    tenfucking quid??? – been the same for 30 years!!!! how much have mps expenses gone up in that time???????
    bastards one and all

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    Not all that surprising.

    Alexander is a tory.

  35. 35
    nellnewman says:

    I just wish he’d buy himself a new hat. Everytime I see that hat I think or worzel gummidge!

  36. 36
    Morgan's Organ says:

    Never mind STRICTLY COME DANCING starts soon so that’ll keep the irritable arse happy!

  37. 37
    Vince Cable's Silly Hat says:

    If Vince Cable was a tin of soup he would have been taken off the shelf. Way past his sell by date.

  38. 38
    Tim Farron LibDem Golden Shower Boy says:

    Today I will be love bombing Vince Cable. After today’s speech he looks like a definite future leader.

  39. 39
    Jimmy says:

    Looks like he’s wandered into the UKIP one by mistake.

  40. 40
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Sometimes it works in your favour.

    My ground rent is fixed at £10 per year.

    So inflation is eating away at the profits of the company who collects it :-)

  41. 41
    Gooey Blob says:

    Vince would make a better Labour leader than he would leader of the Lib Dems. Trouble is, old leftie that he is, he’s still way to the right of the current union-dominated Labour lot.

  42. 42
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Alexander is in UKIP?

  43. 43
    Thames Dover Wight says:

    Condescending socialist fascist tax n spend stasis bastard neither liberal or democratic

  44. 44
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    While i’ll be bumswizzled.

    Cup o’ tea and a slice slice o’ cake aunt Nellie :-)

  45. 45
    Universal Hiss says:

    Showing my age, I think of Bill & Ben.

  46. 46
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    One slice too many ;-)

  47. 47
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    A friend with Weed is a friend indeed.

  48. 48
    Gor Blimey, Wisdom from Westminster is not an option says:

    Uncle St Vice the Incapable came out on BBC radio today that he had been in “big business”.
    Being a Shell economic advisor without any responsibility or accountability; and never having started or run a business, is his true record.
    Sad that the Coalition keeps this derelict in place – reminds me of Brown in the past and Balls Up now.

  49. 49
    Joe Public says:

    Bring back the Farthing, which is what Vince the Incapable is worth to this government and our country.

  50. 50
    Just Saying says:

    “Older people”. They look much younger than him.
    He obviously is too vain to wear glasses. This morning when questioned about comments on his arrogance he stated “his friends” would not state this. Who other than his wife, Ed Balls Up, and Milibandwagon are his friends?

  51. 51
    Gor Blimey, Wisdom from the BBC - Impossible says:

    Only stating the bleeding obvious.
    BBC states the report does not place any blame, conveniently forgetting that this was not in their mandate or their short term capability.

  52. 52
    Big Momma says:

    Vince has at least one slice missing.

  53. 53
    Dr Doom says:

    You are an old fart. Time for all expenses trip to Dignitas

  54. 54
    FFS says:

    Cable wouldn’t make a better leader of anything.

  55. 55
    Joe Pubic (sic) says:

    Of UKIP or the British Communist Party.

  56. 56
    FFS says:

    They can cover their ugly faces as long as they get their tits out.

  57. 57
    highway pa-TROLL says:

    That titfer makes the good Doctor Cable look like a friendly elderly sheepdog version of Al Capone when he was Mug – shotted for tax evasion back in the day .

  58. 58
    highway pa-TROLL says:

    Ecellente . Arise the new poet laureate .

  59. 59
    Jimmy says:

    Well it’s certainly true the report does not name the source of the Russian rockets with Russian markings. That’s why they’re called diplomats I suppose.

    Our Baathist guidophiles have gone very quiet on this.

  60. 60
    Harriet says:

    Has that ginger rodent actually evaded the culling then?

  61. 61
    A shocked shopper says:

    But we haven’t even been fleeced by Halloween yet

  62. 62
    Dry as a Bone, but not such a tax-leech as his misses says:

    Cable is a communist.

  63. 63
    Baldy Watch says:

    Why does Cable wear a hat? Is it a sign of respect for something? Or is he too mean to buy a wig?

  64. 64
    Fishy says:

    My Tesco has been selling Xmas stuff for the past two weeks.

    They’ve also increased the price of petrol to 1.38.9 p per litre, 7p more than in the neighbouring town, Tesco having managed to shut down all the other filling stations where I live.

    Brent crude is down 5% since the start of the month: the £ is up 3% against the dollar; yet petrol is still going up.

    I forgot the price is dependent on Crude, the exchange rate and greed.

  65. 65
  66. 66

    Oh! Hello!

    Woken up?

    Pity your number is divisible by 3.


  67. 67
    The British Public says:

    Syria is none of our business

  68. 68
    My my says:

    You STILL shop at Tesco?

  69. 69
    Johnny Sheepskin says:

    Tin? He’d be a dried up sachet of Knorr vegetable-flavour chemicals with the orange lumps that never, ever, become carrots.

  70. 70
    Penfold says:

    As a Twickenham resident I’m fucking grumpy that we’ve got this proto-Marxist canute as an MP.

  71. 71
  72. 72
    Mr Silly says:

    “Why does Cable wear a hat?”

    Possibly because his head feels bloody cold?

  73. 73
    Penfold says:

    At Shell only from 1995-97.

    In the 1970s, he was special advisor to John Smith when the latter was Industry Secretary. He was an advisor to the British government and then to the Commonwealth Secretary-General in the 1970s and 1980s.

  74. 74
    Gordon Bruin MP says:

    Rabba Ribble Ribble Rabble.

  75. 75
    Fishy says:

    Yes…I turn the green points that I earn, for re-using my plastic bags, in to air miles that pay for my BA flights!

  76. 76
    Fishy says:

    Vince on a good day

  77. 77
    Bloke says:

    What a pair of clueless cu nts.

  78. 78
    BBobb says:

    Crikey! Herr Flick has aged a Bit!

  79. 79
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    Old joke but………..Vince got his Anusol and his Colgate mixed up. When his gums shrank all his teeth fell out, but the Colgate gave him the ring of confidence.

  80. 80
    Eeyore says:

    By some miracle of economics, our new Morrison’s sells petrol at £1.35 against Tesco’s £1.37.

  81. 81
    Eeyore says:

    Really? You think he seriously expects that to be seen as a hat?

    More evidence of poor judgment.

  82. 82
    splutter splutter says:

    i’ll buy that laddo

  83. 83 says:

    5 diners in search of a luncheon voucher

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Where’s a suicide bomber when you need one?

  85. 85

    Send a get well card

  86. 86
    Ed Miliwit says:

    Sigh. Vince is the sort of unthinking hard-left dogmatist I always wanted to be.

  87. 87
    Jeremy Clarkson's alter ego says:

    Indeed, and he was only on a planning committee!

  88. 88
    Jeremy Clarkson's alter ego says:

    how would you know?

  89. 89
    Jeremy Clarkson's alter ego says:


  90. 90
    Jeremy Clarkson's alter ego says:

    well once he’s taken over cleggover’s job, he’ll be heading for yours, so i wouldn’t worry.

  91. 91
    Jeremy Clarkson's alter ego says:

    hard to say…

  92. 92
    Growth Vouchers R Us says:

    First, kill all the SMEs!

  93. 93
    Derek Laud says:

    Boring for a pair of Dib Lems. Can’t we have a good old fashioned Liberal bum shagging and rent boys story? The dib Lems are the biggest gay club out there after all

  94. 94
    John Tandy says:

    Vince Cable reminds me of IDS. Arrogant and out of touch with ordinary people…

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Just Wincie and me and Calamity makes three were happy in our yellow heaven.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    Vous avez raison FFS. He is a quisling in the political sphere & should be allowed no credence in cabinet decision making.
    The sooner he is gone ther better.

  97. 97
    Anonymous says:

    That would be a massive overpayment relative to his true worth.

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    the not ther.

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    Vince is the one without a knife & fork.

  100. 100
    ReefKnot says:

    Vincent Cable is Dr Death.

  101. 101
    Julian Clary says:

    come off it Vincie like botty, he’s a ballroom dancer and an academic

  102. 102
    Lord Duckhouse of Pondlife says:

    Actually should be £102.45 – it’s been the same for FORTY years as it was introduced in 1973 by Ted Heath’s government.

Seen Elsewhere

Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Tory MEP Promised Bashir Investigation | Scrapbook
Stop May Pact | Times

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers