September 16th, 2013

Introducing Happy Hour

Blends, briefings, bulletins, memos and closing prices, the inboxes of Westminster wags are being clogged up with an endless stream of dry takes on the day’s play. So Guido thought he would mix it up with a heady cocktail. Happy Hour will reel off the Six@Six most popular stories of the day (20% more than PoliticsHome’s 5 at 5), giving you a quick way of catching up on today’s gossip. Depending on events, subscribers will be treated to new features such as Picture of the Day and Question Time, where Guido will dissect great matters of state, from clandestine corridor plots to who is bonking whom.

Guidogram subscribers will automatically receive the Happy Hour email, if you want to opt out to one or both then follow the simple steps. Otherwise sign up here


201 Comments

  1. 1
    Jimmy says:

    Putting the cock into cocktails.

    Like

  2. 2
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Sort of like the six minute abs?

    Like

    • 4
      Jimmy says:

      Sort of. Righties whose attention spans can’t even cope with this have CCHQ talking points predigested for them and at the same time guido gets a mailing list he can flog to people selling penis enlargements. It’s win win. It’s Grant Schapps’ vision of Britain.

      Like

      • 9
        Universal Hiss says:

        but you were here first?

        Like

      • 14
        Dirty Digger says:

        CCHQ? I suppose you still think you work for the Soviet Union, Jimbo.

        Gheedough works for *me* now, and I don’t like Poshboy Fatz any better than you do.

        Like

      • 18
        Bill Quango MP-9 says:

        Sort of like that Labour pledge card then?
        What ever happened to them?

        You should bring them back for the Miliman era.

        1. We pledge not to spend 10 times what we get in tax.
        2. We pledge not to close all the post offices and pubs like last time
        3. We pledge not to sell peerages for cash, like last time.
        4. We pledge not to let 200,000 people die in NHS hospitals and bury the reports.
        5. We pledge not to invade foreign nations for no good reason.
        6. We pledge not to sleaze our way through government, like the last time.
        7. We pledge not to add to the 3000 new laws we brought in..last time.
        8. We pledge not to allow unlimited immigration into the UK.
        9. We pledge not to sell arms with bungs and not investigate when found out
        10. We pledge not to have cash for access, Gordon Brown as PM, shag our secretaries in our government offices, fiddle our expenses, bloat private sector jobs and salaries, Set up NHS trusts and school academies which are really just privatisations even though we pretend they aren’t, take cash for fags advertising, punch voters in the face, arrest hecklers, privatise the royal mail, introduce binge drinking to every town in the land, lie about a smoking ban, balloon the national debt to its largest ever size, give up the hard won EU rebate, plan to join the Euro, allow house prices to rise 300%, not to forget to build any social housing this time, not to bother with a millennium dome, Not to pretend to save Rover cars just for an election, sell off the nation’s reserves of gold, introduce stealth taxes, try and sell off Gibraltar, not to forget to introduce an English parliament to counter all the regional ones, not to put in that stupid bus lane on the M4, not to deregulate the banks so much that the economy crashed, not to bring in tax credits that cost more to administer than they pay out, not to set up a toothless FSA, abandon manufacturing for easy retail, not to splurge out on PFI contracts because they are off the books, not to introduce numerous failed government IT schemes, sell passports to favoured donors, give up on border controls, take out dodgy loans, put girlfriends expenses onto government expenses, use HOC credit card for personal nights out at the Chinese, and not to be just generally deceitful, vicious, incompetent, useless, wasteful media spinning f~ckwits..

        Unless we fell we have to.

        Like

        • 22
          J.D Bollard says:

          +1

          Like

        • 29
          Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

          You forget a pledge to bring in another 10 years of boom just as it was under that nice Mr Blair.

          Like

        • 32
          Casual Observer says:

          Even with the length of that fine post you still missed out:

          11: Pledge not to sell any more gold at under market prices
          12: Pledge not to raid the pension funds
          13: Pledge not to inflate asset price bubbles

          etc.
          :-)

          Like

          • D L George says:

            Also
            Pledge not to have the PM help the police with their inquiries.
            Pledge not to lie about science to pass laws.
            Pledge not to teach local government how to lie / spin.

            Suspect like K-Tel, there are many many more.

            Like

        • 40
          UKIP or bust says:

          Great post Mr Quango

          And there’s them ID cards (chips).
          And Secret rendition.

          Like

        • 42
          Maqboul says:

          Yes but they care about the poor, so that’s all right then.

          But then if there were no poor people they’d be out of a job, so guess what?

          Like

        • 49
          H.M.S. Rodney says:

          Just about covers it

          Like

        • 58

          Saint Quango!

          94993

          Like

        • 71
          Jesus Christ, Indy-500 winner 1968-1972, says:

          “not to forget to introduce an English parliament to counter all the regional ones”

          That’s a very, very good one.

          Also, Labour could promise not to try to introduce ID cards, or f*ck-up the state education system again.

          Like

        • 76
          Blue Peter Goldfish says:

          Great post, sum’s up what the man (or woman) on the Clapham omnibus thinks, unfortunately we are being ruled by the new Lords.

          Like

        • 138
          Adolf Schicklegrueber says:

          Missed out
          * Spunking £12,000,000,000 of taxpayers money on a sports day to advertise foreign multinationals, and groveling before a corrupt FIFA but still failing to get the World Cup
          * Allowing MPs to fiddle their expenses
          * Filling the House of Lords with spivs
          * Burning and bombing thousands of civilians
          * Orchestrating the death of Dr Ke11y
          * Presiding over the worst serial killer in British History.
          * Banning fox hunting solely to appease Left wing Labout MPs to vote for an illegal war
          * Putting Irish murderers into government and letting murderers free.
          * Filling up the prisons
          * neutering the BBC
          * giving the Queen new-age-management bollocks to read in her speeches and forcing her to host mass-murderers.
          * not reversing any of the policies they complained about in opposition
          * slagging off toffs then becoming EU plutocrats or Lords
          * being so shite that we were forced to elect a podgy-faced Eton-boy and his teenaged pals
          * Using “Prime Minister” as a title like those cheezy yanks
          * Bringing shame upon our nation by pimping out the PM to godawful episodes of The Simpsons and Little Britain (or was it Cath Tate?)

          Like

          • Gheedough says:

            Oh, and don’t forget …

            Sucking Massa Murd0ch’s cock.

            Like

          • Village Idiot says:

            ….Also, labour showed us a new ,amazing level of government incompetence at every stage of government and every department and every venture they tackled.They displayed an uncanny ability to reverse that well known saying,”The Midas Touch” to”, We fucked it up touch but we will hide it!…..Anyone voting labour should look at their record and the history of their term in office….Start with how things were in 1997, cost of nhs,finances etc…and compare with 2010. 13yrs for which this country will pay for ,for generations!
            I will either not vote again,but more likely vote UKIP….nothing to lose anymore!

            Like

          • REALWORLDER says:

            Do not confuse incompetence with deliberate malfeasance.everything that those
            vermin did was aimed squarely at the destruction of this country in order to
            appease the eurofilth.

            Like

  3. 3
    Jesus Christ, Indy-500 winner 1968-1972, says:

    “the Six@Six most popular stories of the day”

    Will these be the six most popular political stories of the day, or will the media Guido rubbish be mixed in with it?

    Like

  4. 5
    Vince Incapable says:

    We have no ideas..Well..no serious ones. Only the mental ones like the 5p plastic bag tax.

    So…I’m just going to slag of the Tories for the rest of the conference.

    Like

  5. 6
    Anonymous says:

    ++++ FUCKING ACE IDEA !!!! ++++

    Like

  6. 7
    Ed MiliCoward and The New Genocide Party. says:

    :)

    Like

  7. 8
    Ed MiliCoward and The New Genocide Party. says:

    We are only happy when Syrian’s are being g-ass-ed by Ass-sad’s regime.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/syria/10313319/Syria-inspectors-disclose-sarin-used-as-Ban-Ki-moon-says-gas-attacks-were-war-crime.html

    Like

    • 28
      Point of Information 7 says:

      The proof is still not in on who fired the CW ordnance: That was outside the scope of the CW report, which only proves that Sar!n was deployed.

      Quite a lot of RDX byproduct showed up in the samples: Hexamethylentretramine

      As the Russ!an’s pointed out per their report on the Mar 15th incident, RDX would not be present in military grade CW munitions.

      The ordnance pictured in the report is consistent with this:

      http://tinyurl.com/nzqxkfz

      A 1970’s US supplied SLUFAE modified to carry Sar!n would be consistent.

      But whether this was fired by the government or the insurgents is a different matter.

      This is an interesting contribution from the NY Times:

      h**p://graphics8.nytimes.com/packages/pdf/world/syria/Lloyd_warhead.pdf

      It makes a convincing case implicating the Syr!an regime, and !ran (330mm deployment system), but is oddly inconsistent with the UN report.

      The ground deflection means of dispersal of the CW agent which is implied by the SLUFAE style 330mm system would not have worked properly on the night in question as there was no wind.

      The regime would have probably modified the fuses to ensure altitude dependent dispersal if they were responsible.

      Like

    • 38
      The British Public says:

      Syria is none of our business

      Like

      • 149
        Ma­qb­oul says:

        It’s not our business but Russia and Iran think its theirs. Let’s stick our heads in the sand and pretend it ain’t happening.

        Yet whenever Isr­ael and Pale­stine is mentioned the British Public froths itself up into hysterics.

        You can’t have it both ways.

        Like

        • 151
          Keyboard warriors, like ecoloons, are always wrong says:

          So the Russians and Iranians are involved.

          Because of that we must ally ourselves with 7th century head lopping, religious maniacs? Who, if they were successful and overthrew Assad, would undoubtedly attempt to eliminate the ‘non-believers’ within Syria, around 20% of the population.

          Nobody has thought this through and it shows.

          Like

          • Point of Information 7 says:

            It has been thought through : See Aghan!Stan for precedent.

            But you may not agree with the thinking.

            The Russ!an approach is better and the change of stance by Iran perhaps unexpected. One needs to look at a major change of balance of power in the US to get what has really just happened.

            On the whole a good move forward but the mindset of the insurgents must be destroyed and ba’athism has had it’s day, as has the West’s pattern of collapsing states in the name of intervention (or R2P as it was spun recently)

            Like

          • REALWORLDER says:

            Why can’t these idiots get it through their thick skulls WE THE TAXPAYERS
            DO NOT GIVE AFUCK ABOUT SYRIA

            Like

  8. 10
    highway pa-TROLL says:

    how much to subscribe mr fawkes and does the address we give have to match the details on our debit card .?

    Like

  9. 11
    Owen Jones's Remedial English teacher says:

    “Who is bonking *whom*”

    ur sch n iliterut. better stick 2 gaellic lol

    Like

  10. 12

    …who is bonking “whom” please Guido.

    Like

  11. 13
    Manuel says:

    Que?

    Like

  12. 15
    Slightly pissed off says:

    I see Piers Moron has yet another series on shITV. I assume it was recorded in this country. Why was the opportunity not taken while he was here to interview him about his part in phone hacking?

    Like

  13. 17
    Tojo says:

    Plastic Bag Tax attacks the Middle Aged / Seniors who use them as part of their every day life..Every Boot Fair in the country, re uses Plastic Bags, Charity Shops beg for them, Church Bazaars, Fates & Fairs… not something your average European will attend, Wussy Dave is not fighting for British Culture…. they did this with the Kent Act, licensed all the Boot Fairs & Jumbles.. and used up 5 years land fill in 2 or 3 years, The British way of life is built around re cycling… do we not have more Antique Shops, Charity Shops & Boot Fairs, than any other Nation. This Government is letting the Working Class Down… what would Tory Politicians know of how the rest of us live.

    Like

    • 24
      Running out of witty monikers says:

      “Plastic Bag Tax attacks the Middle Aged / Seniors who use them as part of their every day life”

      As footwear?

      Like

      • 35
        A Civil Servant Never says:

        Like

      • 36
        Tojo says:

        You bring back memories of all the things they are used for, my shed is full of Oiled Tools in Plastic Bags, Bulbs ready for next years Planting, Old Photos and Memories, stored in Steel Chocolate Tins, are never the same in Plastic Ones.

        I wonder if the Shops pack our purchases in said Plastic Bags, does that constitute Packaging, or will there be a Tax on Food Packaging Next..

        Like

    • 97
      south of the M4 says:

      ‘ The British way of life is built around re cycling…’. Yep. We continually re cycle the
      same old politicians.

      Like

  14. 20
    Dr Strangelove says:

    So is Maj the head of the C of E ? as well as being Monarch ? Or is that somebody else ? Whoever it is can they sort out all these religious cults that are daubing their handy work all over the society ?

    thanks.

    Like

  15. 21
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    Like

  16. 27
    Bill Quango MP-9 says:

    Some days I feel that I’m just like one of those early round X-factor contestants or Britain’s Got Talent people. One of those ones that think they have a great voice, or can dance like Jackson, or have a great idea for a comedy skit.

    The ones who are just one purple hair dye can away from being a shopping bag collector on the closed end of the high street.
    They sing like a starving cat. Dance like a one legged monk and their hilarious sketch is just stuffing Cathedral City up their nostrils.

    Everyone in the audience can see these sad acts for what they are. Losers.
    Losers who have not yet been told by their embarrassed friends they haven’t got a drop of talent and will never amount to anything.

    Some days…I do get that feeling.

    So be nice on my big conference day… please.

    Ed Moribund.
    Shadow shadow.

    Like

  17. 31
    Gosh. A politician tells the truth says:

    Mr Cable said the Conservatives had spent years trying to be “nice and inclusive” but had “reverted to type”.

    He suggested the Conservatives had scapegoated the unions, benefit claimants and ethnic minorities to achieve their objectives.

    “The list of people the Tories disapprove of is even longer than that – public sector workers, especially teachers, the unmarried, people who do not own property,” he said.

    He added: “We have dog-whistle politics orchestrated by an Australian rottweiler. It is not our kind of politics. It is ugly and we will not be dragged down by it.”

    Like

    • 39
      Great British Public says:

      Fuck off back to the Labour party, home of statism, collectivism, envy, where union barons run the Country, where entrepreneurs are taxed ’till the pips squeak’, where the unproductive public sector acts as a parasite on the private sector, where boom and bust thrive and where you and your like would have us subsumed by the loony left in Brussels.

      They say there’s no fool like an old fool and you are living proof.

      Like

    • 41
      Tachybaptus says:

      A Rottweiler that can not only blow a dog whistle but write orchestral accompaniment for it deserves our respect.

      Like

  18. 34
    Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

    I suppose C4 News and Newsnight will be devoted to that shooting in Washington. They’ll both be hoping it’s a terrorist attack. Jon Snow will probably be over there by now.

    Like

  19. 43
    Dr Strangelove says:

    I’d not seen those australian (checking why modbot hit me) paintings of Ned Kelly, I’d quite liked to have seen them a bit earlier. I really like that one that the Beeb are featuring, you can see how he would paint the iron mask armor that way but can imagine him saying, ” you know that doesn’t look bad seeing the sky through the mask.

    Like

    • 44
      Dr Strangelove says:

      I’d not seen those australian (checking why modbot hit me) paintings of the australian outlaw, I’d quite liked to have seen them a bit earlier. I really like that one that the Beeb are featuring, you can see how he would paint the iron mask armor that way but can imagine him saying, ” you know that doesn’t look bad seeing the sky through the mask.

      Like

  20. 47
    Casual Observer says:

    Why when I see red seedy neon do I think of Jacqui Smith in a cheap coat and plastic shoes chewing gum on a street corner in Soho ?

    Like

    • 50
      Dr Strangelove says:

      it’s the only time you ever had sex ?

      Like

      • 53
        Casual Observer says:

        After 13 years of being screwed by Labour, I wish…

        The good stuff starts at 9 mins…

        Like

        • 64

          Just a moment!

          Who is her husband?

          Why did he watch porn, the cost of which was claimed on her expenses, whilst she was Home Secretary?

          Why did not the interviewer, or the other interviewee, mention this?

          94793

          Like

    • 52
      Bill Quango MP-9 says:

      Seek help.
      Its disgusting. But you can be cured.
      Phone Andy Burnham-on-sea 42781 and ask for the sexual fetish psychiatrist.

      Like

      • 56
        Casual Observer says:

        Good advice.

        A fantasy burlesque with Jacqui and Laurie Penny should never be imagined either I guess ?

        Like

        • 60

          Oh! Do behave!

          I expected much better of you…

          94873

          Like

          • Casual Observer says:

            You are quite right. Cold shower, and some time spent watching TV some wholesome that it makes Alpen look like a Handycock fondue supper invite.

            Speaking of which, some footage of Lib Dem recruitment action to raise the tone:

            Like

          • @CO :-)

            Don’t expect a Patton the back, though!

            http://bit.ly/187jzZG

            94573

            Like

          • Casual Observer says:

            Thanks SC.

            Checked your quote – ‘Incurable optimist that I am,…’ it was on about P.10 in the context of Roger Penroses’ speculations about ‘quantum fluctuations’ (read: We can’t really explain this…) being responsible for neuron action, hence thought, personality and perhaps soul.

            Can see how it tickled you. It is certainly something that needed to be said for a while.

            Am not sure if end of history is applicable, but appreciate you are appealing to Hegel rather than Marx on that score.

            Perhaps the ‘Phenomenology of Mind’ does need to be re-examined accommodating the internet. But as Hegel was wrong to call the end of history in 1806, the Marxists are equally wrong to attempt to claim the dialectic as justification for their struggles.

            Kojève could be a good place to pick up ;-)

            Like

          • I am so glad you saw that. It is great when something which is well hidden away can cause so much enjoyment, particularly through humour. It is even nicer when you can share that discovery with someone else.

            My mischievous nudge was rather at Fukuyama in the first instance but that of course traces back to GWF with the help of Kojève, as you indicate. Although I have read about the latter, I have nothing of his work in my library as yet. Rorty is another good place to go and explore this.

            Marx was clearly influenced by the Kant-Hegel relationship in forming his dialectic but (and I admit this may not be mainstream opinion but see Žižek) managed to corrupt it. If he did not then his followers certainly did.

            The old joke about the analytical philosopher always accuses the continental one of being insufficiently clear, while the continental philosopher accuses the analytical one of Being insufficiently, comes to mind here.

            Your Phenomenology point is an interesting one. As I get older, I find Hegel more acceptable and slightly less inaccessible that I originally thought. But our Francis Herbert Bradley was just about as opaque than his German predecessor although he is now enjoying a revival.

            93941

            Like

          • Casual Observer says:

            Picked up on Fukuyama but I thought I would put your nudge into a much more enlightened context. (Cannot abide Fukuyama myself…)

            Kojeve is worth a look. He rescued Hegel from Marx for Europe and was a big influence on many early 20th century thinkers, notable Sartre and Aron.

            Marx had stolen and distorted much of Hegel’s work such that many even now wrongly view Hegel as the foundation of Marxism. Marx hijacked the Hegelian dialectic in order to provide a philosophical basis for the class struggle his model required, and in doing so trashed the spiritual (not religious per se) side of Hegel’s work. Marxism is wholly materialistic many misunderstand Hegel to be as well as a result of Marx’s distortion.

            Kojeve’s influence on Sartre and Aron was important for the European existential movement. I guess part of my thesis is one of paradox. Whilst the net is inherently collectivist it reflects and strengthens the individual – so could be a powerful existential tool. That is more in line with the dialectic dynamic that Hegel put forward rather than the crude interpretation which Marx socialized.

            As an aside, it is well known that Rand’s characters in Atlas were continually asking ‘Who is Galt?’

            In ‘Honey for the bears’ by Bradbury a much deeper and more profound question was asked, almost as pastiche:

            ‘Who’s Hegel?’
            :-)

            Like

          • Broadly agree here, save it was surely Burgess who wrote Honey for the Bears.

            Note your existentialism point and the strengthening effect can also be considered in the light of personalism, which recognises that only the individual possesses free will. This was reflected in the thinking of such divers minds as FCS Schiller, William Stern and Karol Wojtyła (later Pope John Pаul II).

            [Oh dear! I said Pаul... :-)]

            93419

            Like

          • Casual Observer says:

            Yup my error with Bradbury vs Burgess :-)

            Regarding existentialism more as a framework for deconstructing and arguing against the pure analytic branches is important. Particularly if one is looking for a non anarchic way of framing libertarian philosophy.

            Many aspects of libertarian thought defend individual liberty more by arguing against the absolutist models which seek to control individual thought and actions on the basis that ordered society is preferred to chaotic.

            A question in our context is does the ‘net augment or restrict the ‘I think’ and what is it’s real effect on the ‘I am’

            Over time for the individual this seems to be positive on both counts but initially restrictive until the individual has got over the intimidation of information overload. Other than marketing why does Google always report so many page hits when it can only return a fraction if one actually checks :-) )

            One other naive observation that should stick in the craw of those who follow Marx. Have you not noticed that the primary benefit to society of the Internet is overwhelingly non material ?

            Am checking up on some of the references you mentioned as had overlooked Personalism. I think need to be careful with the Humanist overlaps (not that you mentioned or implied these) but as Marx corrupted Hegel the Humanists seem to be attempting similar with the existentialists.

            Like

          • Pity you didn’t come to our conference at HM Oxford last month …and the concept of the self.

            92789

            Like

      • 63
        A Eichmann says:

        That reminds me, what’s the mass murderer ‘Maybelline’ upto lately?

        Like

  21. 54

    Ongoing evaluation of political propositions, to attract politically sensitive voters. Upward spiralisation of political performance hitlists. Innit?

    Like

  22. 59
    Fuck off BBC poofs says:

    The BBC are twats.

    Like

  23. 61
    Dr Strangelove says:

    I know that there are bright ( blessed ) families in the country who have done well from the society and they have mixed with other bright ( blessed ) families to do well from society.
    perhaps in “doing well” from the society something about the society was lost ?
    how else to explain the abandonment of the entire culture, to just throw it away like a thing of no consequence ?

    Like

    • 65
      Dr Strangelove says:

      as I have previously said, We are being swamped by idiots, the thing that is so great about our society is the acceptance of people with other ideas, but these new guys just don’t get it, they are not going to be British, ever, because they do not want to be.
      The only thing that can happen if we are to survive is to close the door and start educating the ones that are already here, then maybe in 20 years time we can all breath again.

      Like

  24. 62
    Fuck off BBC poofs says:

    The BBC are bigging up St Vince again. Poor old BBC when he was just St Vince he was the BBC’s favourite go to man on anything to do with the economy (after Ed Bollocks of course)

    Old Dame Nikki Campbell used to lap up every word that spouted from Vince’s rectum.

    Like

    • 66
      Vince incapable says:

      I may be old, but I am still sharp.
      I had an idea..a telegram tax. Think of all those rich people sending telegrams..tax them i say. 1d each telegram.

      And tax gramophones, bath chairs, gas lanterns, terrariums, that new tangled E-lec-trinity stuff. Tax eiderdowns, camphor, inkwells, braces, brasso, plum duff, and window glass.
      That should raise around 17/6 for the national exchequer.
      Not bad, eh..could buy a new coaling shed for the railway.

      Like

    • 68
      Dr Strangelove says:

      that Nikki Campbell does seem to have gone off the boil a bit. I used to be in awe of his quick wit and lightening repartee but he seems a bit too comfortable now.

      Like

      • 79
        Blue Peter Goldfish says:

        If you work for the BBC it’s not that difficult to feel very comfortable (e/w pension and golden pay off for coming last).

        Like

  25. 67
    H Himmler says:

    Here we go again:
    Morrisons managed a spectacular double whammy of cock-ups when they apologised to a devout Muslim family for selling a vegetable pasty that contained non-halal meat – by offering them alcohol.
    Mr Khan, told the Daily Mail: “It is ridiculous and ignorant of our faith – not just once but twice.
    ‘”I feel highly insulted. I don’t want this happening to any other people who are Muslim.”
    Well fuck off to which ever ‘stan you came from.

    Like

    • 74
      Jesus Christ, Indy-500 winner 1968-1972, says:

      Hmm.. people who work for Morrisons are catastrophically stupid. Well, I never.

      In other news, all the people who work for Homebase are catastrophically stupid, Tesco’s minced beef is made of horse, and, in news just in from Stratford, William Shakespeare has died.

      Like

    • 82
      nellnewman says:

      If I had religious food issues I wouldn’t be buying from supermarkets who can’t be trusted about what they put in their pre packaged foods. I’d cook my own so that I knew I was properly in touch with my choice of G o d .

      Like

  26. 78
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    Like

  27. 80
    nellnewman says:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/environment/climatechange/10313261/EU-policy-on-climate-change-is-right-even-if-science-was-wrong-says-commissioner.html

    We are right, says the EU, even though we have to admit the science was wrong!

    OMG these people are idiots!!!

    Like

  28. 81
    Vlad the chess player says:

    ♥♥♥

    Rule Britannia

    Like

  29. 83
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    IF YOU’RE A LIBERAL DEMOCRAT, LOOK AWAY NOW…….

    Like

    • 104
      Leftard says:

      UH! Reagan. He was bad. I know because I’ve heard he was bad. He was friends with Thatcher. Who was bad as well.

      I cannot string together a coherent sentence to explain any of the above, but I will cover for that with an emotionalised tantrum of wilful ignorance and intolerance of any opinions other than those deemed ‘acceptable’ by the metropolitan liberal elite du jour.

      Thank you.

      Like

    • 113
      Leftard says:

      On reflection I’ve heard he may have had something to do with the collapse of the glorious Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, before they had really been able to get into their stride and massacring or starving millions of their own people. Again.

      Anything to get a step closer to the Golden dawn – Hobsbawm was so wise.

      Shame on Reagan. Good thing it is so fashionable to dislike him.

      Like

      • 198
        Jimmy says:

        The USSR collapsed along with oil prices. The Gipper had the square root of bugger all to do with it. Elsewhere he was propping up every vile dictatorship on the planet or funding terrorists to put them in power. Freedom never came near the old bastard.

        Like

    • 159
      The Pelican says:

      Jimmy must have read above and ‘gone catatonic’

      Like

  30. 87
    Wotak Hunt says:

    Vince Cable – truly incapable.

    Like

  31. 88
  32. 92
    Viewer says:

    BBC just put out an hilariously bad Panorama on tax avoidance which consisted of somebody driving around in a Mini combined with Margaret Hodge saying she was outraged. It looked like it had been edited with a meat cleaver.

    Like

  33. 93
    BellyAche says:

    SkyTV – when it’s not showing adverts for gambling or payday loan companies it’s continuing its propaganda for the tories – by the way sometimes it show programmes in-between the ads – and this is the best you can get? – I don’t think so – skytv is CRAP

    Like

    • 96
      Pundit says:

      Isn’t it past your bedtime, Lord Patten?

      Like

    • 101
      Not a Meritocracy says:

      You can choose whether you pay for Sky’s shite though.

      Another village missing it’s idiot.

      Like

      • 184
        The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

        I am sick of SKY bringing on endless lefties late at night to discuss the next day’s papers.

        Like

    • 185
      Anonymous says:

      Bellyache they can film themselves kissing the feet of Cameron for all I care the point is I have a choice to buy or not to buy.
      Now back to the BBC kissing Labours arse every few seconds while putting people in court for refusal to pay for the telly tax.
      Get it now you think fucking twat

      Like

  34. 95
    One Term Dave says:

    Vince said that I called him a Jeremiah. The old duffer’s going deaf. I said he was a geriatric.

    Like

  35. 103
  36. 105

    The bridge deck of the Costa Concordia is now free of the water. This is quite an amazing salvage operation.

    When the team have done their job, maybe we can get them to come to Britain and try to resurrect our country.

    If only it were that simple.

    94427

    Like

    • 109
      Tachybaptus says:

      Thanks for pointing that out. The raising of the ship is being shown live on the Telegraph’s web site
      http://goo.gl/GY6WHn
      though of course not much is happening at the moment.

      The rescue of Britain is not being televised, which is just as well since it is doubtful whether anything much is happening.

      Like

      • 114

        My father, who earned himself a Master’s certificate in the RN, taught me to take bearings in almost every conceivable circumstance. I would take them on leading edges of cloud to see where they were heading and even on celestial bodies to better understand how we progress through the universe.

        Although the progress is imperceptible when just stared at, I have been looking at how the caissons on the port side have gradually become submerged (from being totally out of the water) and the bridge deck figures so prominently in the webcam that I have been longing to see it emerge from the water which it now has. The impression given is of a vastly improving situation here.

        My browser hung and now, having rebooted it, I have seen your further comment. As you rightly observe, the railing stanchions are yet another point of reference.

        I shall remember my number this time!

        94253

        Like

        • 133
          Anonymous says:

          Putting water ballast all over certain sections of Southern England and an array of finally spaced cables around the coast is a little drastic.

          But it would have the desired effect.

          Like

        • 141
          Tachybaptus says:

          Just saw that the Costa Concordia was used as a set in Jean-Luc Godard’s 2010 wankfest Film Socialisme. Tee hee.

          Like

        • 146

          I can’t wait to see it in the morning – are they working all night?

          94147

          Like

          • Tachybaptus says:

            Yes. She’s now within 20° of upright, a sad sight with much of the starboard side stove in. They are not going to repair her anyway; she is going to be broken up for scrap. Don’t know whether that decision is an economic one or because of the bad vibes. Thirty-two lives lost, and all because a silly man wanted to impress his friends on shore.

            Like

          • @sockpuppet 1:53.

            94147 factorised = 3037 x 31

            Therefore not in my current schema. Did you sockpuppet Tachy as well?

            At least I do seem to be having a positive effect on your spelling, punctuation and grammar. :-)

            Here is the next number:

            93607

            Like

        • 188
          Anonymous says:

          Pedantic point but they don’t have “masters certificates” in the RN MrCat. Your father was in the Merchant Navy if he had one of these which I do not in any way doubt but certainly not a rank or a certificate found in the RN.

          Like

          • I am afraid that you are wrong again.
            My father did earn his Master’s certificate in the Navy, and was very proud of it. It used to hang in a frame in the sitting room.
            Since you never went to my parent’s house, you could not possibly know.

            91243

            Like

          • @ sockpuppet 9:17 pm.

            91243 is a prime number but is not in the selective, but predictable, sequence which I have been using.

            I shall deal with the King’s Commission point in a later post.

            92143

            Like

    • 110
      Tachybaptus says:

      PS: The ship is rising just visibly — every time the sequence of fixed cameras switches to the frontal close-up you can see that a tiny bit of railing has disappeared off the right edge of the picture. It’s like watching the hour hand on a clock, but strangely addictive.

      Like

  37. 107

    Vince Cable could come to early end before the general election in 2015.

    Like

    • 111
      Tachybaptus says:

      2015 is not a prime number, I’m afraid.

      Like

      • 115

        Quite right!

        I missed this off (tut-tut) which I put in my backup but must have forgotten when it came to post:

        94331

        Like

        • 116
          Ailurophile says:

          Cat, I’ll hazard a guess the next number is 94121, but it’s only a guess.

          Like

          • You know the numbers which I am working with and also the direction of travel but this number was never going to be part of my sequence, given my current pattern employed.

            I am reluctant to give more details out right now as it would only make things easier for my sockpuppet. Whilst I really do not wish to be the news myself, it is interesting how one can show the trolls up, over and above how they already perform this function themselves, and I sense that most of the regulars here can appreciate my approach without being too bothered about checking every number. This is something the poor troll does not understand because he thinks that something derivative is more important than the main task which, for me at least, is to communicate.

            The present one is so persistent that I feel someone must be paying him. If that should not be the case, then he has a real problem. It would surely be easier just to go out and get a job! :-)

            And the next number?:

            94009

            Like

          • Universal Hiss says:

            Drat! I was sure it was 59.

            Like

          • No, the sequence has a long way to go before it gets there. I am so pleased that people are now getting on board with it.

            93471

            Like

          • Division by three is not that hard, Mr sockpuppet, losing valuable sleep time at 1:54 am whilst still failing on an epic scale.

            Consulting a doctor should be an infinitely more rewarding priority for you right now,

            93761

            Like

          • Ailurophile says:

            I know where you are, mathematically speaking, even though I don’t have the sequence yet.

            There is something nice about watching Trolls being wiped out with a ‘Weapon of Maths Destruction’.

            For me, the only important prime number is 1759, and I wouldn’t mind a nice cold pint of it right now!

            Like

          • Like it! A very dark thought this early in the morning. :-)

            93319

            Like

          • Ailurophile says:

            93419 ?

            Like

          • Already used at 7:41 am (currently in moderation) and 7:43 am where the name of our host was used for one of his popes. If you get too close publicly, I shall be forced into changing the sequence.

            93251

            Like

          • Ailurophile says:

            Missed the other posts, so my sequence broken.

            Am happy now, retiring from the numbers game.

            You remain ‘primus inter pares’, but remember ‘primum non nocere’!

            Like

          • The inverted Golden Rule is as far as I try to achieve. I like some chance at being able to deliver! :-)

            92861

            Like

          • Ailurophile says:

            Perhaps Singer should have confined himself to sewing machines!

            Like

        • 194

          Isn’t zigzag stitch what most people use? :-)

          92707

          Like

    • 122
      Without repetition, hesitation or deviation says:

      Pussy cat you were a subject on Just A Minute this evening.

      Like

  38. 112
    Fishy says:

    I do hope no-one is sacked for this…or they try to burn down the Telegraph

    http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02673/170913-MATT-web_2673746a.jpg

    Like

  39. 118
    KIN L!!!! I AGREE WITH CHUKS says:

    Like

  40. 121
    Fuck off BBC poofs says:

    I always knew old Chukka would go mental eventually. but who is the other gunman? I reckon it’s Ed Balls

    http://www.bustedmugshots.com/image/get/listing/mug-shot-45611151.jpg

    Like

  41. 127
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Has Tony Blair been arrested yet?

    Come on Chilcott – lets be aving you me old son – unless you got lot to hide that is?

    Democratic honest and Open Or as Transparent as mud?

    Like

    • 172
      Brumstik says:

      That particular report is due to be released on the same day as the proposed HS2 line is opened to its first passengers.

      Like

  42. 129
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    A VOTE FOR VINCE IS A VOTE FOR THE VEIL

    Like

  43. 137
    Casual Observer says:

    Really meant for @SC – but of general interest.

    Perhaps the high level trend at present is not an ‘end of history’ but rather an ‘end of hegemony’.

    Hegemony to a large degree relies on controlling the access to and flow of information between people.

    Whilst laws and ‘social conventions’ can be very effective in keeping people divided, once people have obtained access to the internet those divisions broadly vanish. As does most of the ability to control access to and dissemination of information.

    The end of hegemony is perhaps a problem equally shared by the collectivists and the absolutists ?

    Like

    • 152
      albacore says:

      Yeah, this free information, ain’t it just great
      Knowing all the lowdown on a rotten state?
      Good job it’s in one ear and out the other
      Or stuff like that might get folks in a bother

      Like

    • 170
      Anonymous says:

      Absolute rubbish. Minority extremism easily finds friends across the internet. Within the closed groups, contained in this “access” restricted internet, they flourish and become more divided from the mainstream. The access is restricted by those that want to separate themselves.

      It is not the average that we suffer from but the ability of the extremes to wander deeper into their corruption supported by their self-help groups.

      If the internet was free there would be no restrictions on access to any page. The internet is a warren of locked doors and effectively infinite dead ends. Not free at all. It is like having a public park where anyone can set up 3m fences and locked doors.

      Like

      • 173
        Old English says:

        There’s nothing ‘minority’ about extremism. There are millions of the fcukers, and more coming/being born every day; and they hate us.

        Like

      • 189
        Casual Observer says:

        If the individualis truly free thinking and free then a negative interpretation would be to state that the individual is in a minority. That would be collectivist reasoning and is highly divisive.

        The locked doors are easily opened if one looks at the data transmitted, who it is transmitted between and when.

        The charge of extremist minorities tied to private forums is also wrong. Many smaller groups of like minded folk gather in public. Some of these can be considered extreme. Some of those are called political parties.

        As the definition of Mainstream changes those in the minority who previously thought they controlled it and did have large influence over it would perhaps try labelling those deviating as extreme. That argument can be tested readily these days fairly quickly. How many proveably false claims before an individual considers the source of such claims discredited and ignorable ?

        Like

    • 180

      China’s panopticon approach to the internet has led to all sorts of ingenious counter-strategies appearing, including elgooG, and the use of proxies which easily defeat the system.

      The human mind is very adaptive and can develop interesting strategies when provoked:

      93151

      Like

  44. 161
    Anonymous says:

    Like

  45. 174
    Vince (is it time for bed yet?) Cable says:

    I’ll say anything to be the centre of attention.

    Like

    • 179
      Unstable Cable says:

      Me me me me me me me !!!!!!

      Like

      • 193
        Wince Kabul and a bedtime mug says:

        Having criticised the fiscal Strategy all day of the coalition and then claiming to be its architect has poor old Vince made yet another “horlicks” of his position

        Like


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We also need Zil lanes.


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