Here’s one for Marxist witch doctor Raquel Rolnik to investigate: her very own United Nations are abusing their young employees’ human rights by using slave labour. The UN Refugee Agency is advertising for an intern to, among other things, compile reports which will be sent to UN representatives around the world. It is clearly a proper job, so why are they only paying for the successful applicant’s lunch and travel? A previous intern bemoans: “it is unpaid so sacrifices have to be made – living off baked beans being one”. Someone should write to Ban Ki Moon…

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly. All the latest on Expenses, the Brazil Nut, Chris Huhne and the return of Paul from Clerkenwell.

Thousands of Westminster wags read the Guidogram every week, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. 

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

It wouldn’t be an expenses themed day without mentioning Jacqui Smith, and guess what?

The former Home Secretary will soon be back on the public teat. Smith is set to become Chairman University Hospitals Birmingham NHS Trust.

Kerching!

Melanie Phillips has left the Mail, Media Guido can reveal. She blogs:

The Mail want to shake up their Monday op-ed page and so I shall shortly stop writing my regular Monday column for them. Instead, they want me to write other major pieces. They say they are very keen that I should continue to have a significant presence in the paper. 

That’s certainly an option, although I have other plans for writing – and now, also, publishing. I am gratefully aware, though, from the many thousands of people who have written to me in passionate agreement over the years, that I have a very large following indeed among Daily Mail readers. Many write to me to say I am the only reason they read the paper (it’s enough to turn a girl’s head!) Only today, I was stopped at a Tube station by a woman who said: ‘I love your articles; don’t ever stop writing them’. 

I can promise her, and all my many followers, that I shall indeed continue to write them. As for where – well, watch this space.

It is understood that she will be replaced by Dominic Lawson.

Boo.

The combined parliamentary and ministerial salary for Cabinet ministers is £134,565, five times the wage of the average Briton. Ministers of State trouser £98,740, for under-secretaries of state a paltry £89,435. Clearly that is not enough for some however.

New data shows the Grayling household tops up Justice Secretary Chris’ six figure salary by charging the taxpayer between £35,000 and £39,999 to employ his wife Susan.

Transport Secretary Patrick McLoughlin’s wife earns the same amount.

Rose Paterson, wife of Owen, the Secretary of State for the Environment for Rural Affairs who is worth £1.5 million, makes between £30,000 and £34,999.

Millionaire Chief Whip Sir George Young employs his daughter Camilla on up to £34,999, while Alistair Burt and Hugo Swire at the Foreign Office have given taxpayer-funded jobs to their wives Eve and Sasha.

Sally Hammond, wife of Stephen is on up to £44,999.

These ministers have household incomes of up to £175,000-a-year straight from your pockets.

Last time it was Israel, this time it’s the Saudis who are responsible for chemical weapons attacks in Syria. Anyone but Assad then. You go JoCo…