September 4th, 2013

iPoker Face

If you are one of the most senior US politicians attending a crucial hearing on potential military intervention in Syria, being snapped playing poker on your phone doesn’t look great. Well that’s what happened to John McCain last night:

Suppose the British equivalent would be Tom Harris watching Doctor Who on one of his many taxpayer-funded iPads…


323 Comments

  1. 1
    Plato says:

    In Memory of Billy

    Like

    • 100
      Casual Observer says:

      Is McCain one of the US politicians in favour of banning online poker – which way did he vote.

      Like

      • 122
        Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

        None of them are in favour of banning it – they are in favour of remaining alive, and the Mafia have made it clear they see online, offshore gambling as a threat to their business model.

        Like

    • 137
      Martin Luther King's Dream is every true Englishmens living nightmare says:

      Talking of Gambling, can we have a disscussion on the stitch up of the English with the TSB going back to Scotland with no debt and the Cand G whilst the The English end up with HBOS and Halifax and pozi Brown sponsored debt.
      Was the twatt a Scots Nat all along, he stitched Lloyds into buying a pig and a poke against the small shareholder wishes and people saying at the time that it would not comply with EUSSR Dictat.

      Like

  2. 2
    Willam Hague says:

    I prefer Jet Set Willy

    Like

    • 9
      John Kerry says:

      I’ve just downloaded “Angry Birds: Syria”.

      Like

      • 14
        Claire Perry says:

        Oi! I’m the angry bird round ‘ere, mush!

        Look at this…Gambling!…I bet poor people is gambling too! Gambling and watching Porno. Gambling and watching porno and taking out payday loans. Gambling and watching porno and taking out payday loans and eating maxipacks of Walkers crisps, the fat lazy waddlers.
        That’s the internet that’s made them stupid and idle,it has.

        Turn this internet off..Its morally wrong.

        Like

        • 25
          Point of Information 4 says:

          So Claire, I guess online strip poker funded by wonga loans and Tesco home delivery would be your worst case scenario ?

          Like

          • Claire Perry says:

            Yes! And BEFORE the watershed!
            Whilst little kids are scampering, men could be watching porn and eating pizzas and photographing their genitals and tweeting them to their wife’s sister.
            All on an iphone 5, from the comfort of their sofa.

            TURN THE INTERNET OFF! Its degrading to women.

            Like

          • Point of Information 4 says:

            So Claire, you would deny women the right to watch porn on their iPhone’s as well, or do you deny that women watch porn ?

            Like

          • Claire Perry says:

            Women don’t watch porn. Or if they do watch it they don’t want to watch it and are just forced to go along with it all by their male companions.

            Remember that 50 shades of Grey?..Only men bought that book.
            And whilst we are on the subject of women and sex I think Ann Summers should be banned for degrading women’s sexual choices.

            Ban Ann Summers! And ban the internet, obviously!

            Like

          • Point of Information 4 says:

            Ok. So Claire, what would you do with mumsnet ?

            Like

          • Claire – you are in denial girl. Wake up and smell the coffee.

            Like

          • Sir Bumley Foghorn MP (Much Ranting in the Shires) says:

            Is ‘wake up and smell the coffee’ a phrase from 50 shades? Never thought that was your taste Cat.

            Like

          • Will my sockpuppet kindly remember that I emigrated in 2007 and the name Claire Perry means little to me. She may be a singer, a soap star or an MP. I do not know her.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            I thought fiftyshadesofgrey was a book about hairdressing

            Like

        • 40
          Living in 97.222% white Merseyside says:

          How would I be able to shop at Amazon?

          Like

        • 316
          The Last White man standing says:

          FFS syria is where its at, you twats, lets bomb tower hamlets a get over it.

          Like

    • 13
      Plato says:

      This is the democracy that we are exporting to the rest of the world.

      Our armed forces are dying in the field and this guy cannot listen to the evidence.

      Like

      • 162
        John McCain says:

        I have already made my deal with Obama so I am somewhat relaxed.
        Only hope he keeps to his promise. Not like that guy in Westminster, England – whats his name eh Milipede or something like that.

        Like

    • 20
      Godfrey Bloom says:

      See, I told you men could play Poker better than Women.

      Like

  3. 3
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    He already knew what his decision was, he didn’t turn up to be confused by facts that may have interfered with his pre-conceptions,so switched off. Democracy in action, US style. The question is, how many other players were in the hearing?

    Like

  4. 4
    The Central Scrutinizer says:

    I’m all in….

    Like

  5. 5

    More like ‘ishithead’!

    Like

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Newsfox says:

    Really a big deal?

    Like

  8. 8
  9. 10
    Bill Quango MP-x says:

    Really..you can play poker on this ipad thingy?
    Well, well, well. i thought they were only for receiving constituents annoying, whiny emails, The Abbott’s bland tweet of the day and watching Youporn.

    Like

  10. 11
    wobble says:

    At least he turned up….. About a hundred of our troughers couldn’t even be bothered to do that !

    Like

    • 19
      Bill Quango MP-x says:

      I texted in my vote.
      Doesn’t that count? What’s the point of all this remote, online,24/7 phone a friend, fax online cloud distribution, telex, ticker tape, interweb revolution if we have to turn up to raise our hands?

      Get with the 19th century Bercow..We can send a telegram and be done with it.

      Like

    • 317
      The Last White man standing says:

      Oh FFS you twats,get real you Hunts

      Like

  11. 12
    who's kidding who says:

    Don’t see any difference with him playing poker and MP’s in the HOC supposedly sitting in on a debate, with their phones in their hands and their fingers what looks like keying something into the phone as seen on Parliament tv quite a few times, they should ban phones when theirs a debate going on.

    Just watching the energy prices and profits debate the green seats are winning as usual.

    Like

    • 49
      Tristian Lobbyfodder MP says:

      Thats not fair we have to use the calculator facility on our phones to calculate our expenses.

      Like

  12. 15
    Edward Snowden says:

    McCain was actually playing iPoker against Assad, who was logged in using his own iPhone in Damascus.

    Like

  13. 16
    Truthteller says:

    Are all politicians tossers or are all tossers politicians?

    Like

  14. 17
    Point of Information 4 says:

    It is this sort of thing which is really taking the shine off the neo-con call to arms this time round.

    (NB: The McCain alliance with Obama is already laughable enough.)

    Very subtle way to push decision making away from the Republicans and back towards the Democrats. The ‘iPoker’ defense will be a new one if the US does launch an illegal war.

    Like

  15. 18
    Dave the Gays Lover says:

    I’m a bit worried about the Syrian opposition’s attitude to Same Sex Marriage and Gay Rights. After all, these matters are of supreme importance.

    Like

    • 22
      Stephen Fry says:

      Right on Dave

      Like

      • 28
        Harriet Harperson says:

        To be fair to the rebels though, they are very keen on equality and don’t discriminate in beheading between men, women or children for laughing, surfing the web etc.

        Like

      • 87
        Not my favourite dinner guest, not in the top billion actually says:

        Mr Brydon quipped that Fry was “the nation’s favourite dinner guest with charm up to the gills, what a shame he can’t be left alone with vodka and some pills”.

        Indeed.

        Like

        • 167
          A woman says:

          I’m more concerned about the Syrian rebels (aka al-Qaida) attitude to women.

          Not allowed to work,vote,drive,marry who they choose,divorce, keep their children after being divorced.Not forgetting having their genitals mutilated as children.

          But I suppose that’s not important to the Western imperialists who for some weird reason are supporting them?

          Like

  16. 21
    Ed Moribund says:

    I am becoming a bit of a gay icon.

    Like

  17. 24
    Casual Observer says:

    Why don’t they let McCain drive a few drones?

    Like

  18. 27
    Delicate Flower says:

    Hopefully no one will post videos of Syrians executing other Syrians on this thread.

    Like

  19. 32
    DAVE Fuckwit CAMERMONG says:

    He may be a poker faced twat , but he does make great chips

    Like

  20. 34
    LITTLE ED (without his union paymasters) says:

    Sthpare the prith of a cup of tea Guv ?

    Like

  21. 42
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    Re Syria

    Allow me to offer a compromise. Congress authorizes the president to bombard Assad’s email inbox with Owen Jones’ tweets

    Like

    • 44
      Diplomat Owen Jones says:

      (Any friends of the House of Saud please pay attention…)

      Like

    • 52
      LBC 97.3 says:

      Johnson: Well, yes, I’m, er, all for a mass-Tweet, and I don’t mean Hamas-Tweet, ha ha. Nick, what say you that the good folk of London could let Assad know what they really think. And I’m sure the Prime Minister would be more than happy to send the first volley of Tweets over the Syrian bows.

      Ferrari: OK. On to our next caller…

      Like

      • 62
        Lbc 79.3 says:

        Hi..Nick from Sheffield here..look…this going on the radio and getting publicity was my idea. Tell The mayor to butt out!

        Ferrari. ok , thanks Mick… Sorry about that Mr Mayor. We get an awful lot of wannabes, pranksters and loonies calling up…
        Ok…next caller..

        Like

  22. 46
    You wouldnt get convicted in a court of law on this evidence never mind grounds for War says:

    Its being reported that McCain will not be supporting Military action as proposed . Are they all abandoning the sinking ship as it becomes less lear who was responsible. I forsee this backfiring badly on Kerry rather than Obama and of course the French.

    Like

    • 50
      local wind says:

      less clear who was responsible ? quite how the rebels delivered the chemical agents would be interesting for you to impart .. borrowed them from the regime presumably..(don’t laugh)

      Like

    • 53
      A view from atop the pyramid says:

      One has the feeling that the US Government and Congress have been playing a very subtle hand here.

      Nixon had his mad man strategy. This may have been an inversion of that:

      The mad man strategy turned against the lobby groups.

      It has not been unnoticed that certain groups have hijacked US Policy for a while now. Policy may have just been recaptured.

      When the media suddenly switch to praising no intervention, which they will do shortly, that will confirm when the penny has dropped.

      What has been destroyed here is the lobby groups assumed moral authority to dictate policy.

      Will the US decide to do anything about the problem of lobby influenced funding of members of Congress ?

      Like

      • 63
        Charles Ferguson says:

        The US government was bought lock, stock and barrel, years ago

        At least Ferguson, a successful entrepreneur, is denouncing it:

        Like

      • 78
        Let's clean up Britain says:

        And what about the UK?

        The bank lobby, tax evasion industry lobby, solicitors lobby, PR lobby, tabloid lobby and a host of others which have captued British democracy…

        Not to speak of the breakdown in the Rule of Law

        Everyone knows it

        And few denounce it

        Like

        • 92
          A view from atop the pyramid says:

          The defeat in Parliament last week proves that the lobby problem is not quite so dangerous.

          As Tapsell pointed out today, through NATO the UK could still be drawn in to Syria if the certain lobbys in the US get their way.

          Like

          • Let's clean up Britain says:

            Tapsell was very good

            Father of the House

            Experience counts in this type of situation

            Cameron is flying by the seat of his pants (or what is left of them)

            Like

          • The Cabinet Secretary, seconded from Morgan Stanley says:

            Cameron is calling up Tony Blair at this very moment

            There is a conference call between No 10 (David), Azerbaijan (Tony), Moscow (Peter) and Los Angeles (Rupert) this evening

            Very confidential but interesting

            But I wanted you guys to be the first to know

            Like

  23. 51
    Anonymous says:

    **************************************************************
    **************************************************************

    http://moneyweek.com/endofbritain/

    End of Britain
    **********************************************************************************************************************************

    Like

    • 61
      Worried says:

      Holy sh*t. They’ve convinced me.

      I’ve paid for two premium subscriptions, just in case one issue gets lost in the post.

      Like

      • 64
        Worried says:

        And, I’ve also just paid $29 for ‘Four Things Every Blues Guitarist Must Know”.

        Seems worth it, from the reviews I’ve read.

        Like

  24. 54
    Little Boy Blue says:

    FFS

    Now ITV Look North are at it as Well as BBC

    Blackburn & Darwen vox pop

    And who do you blame for the fact that the pound in your pocket is buying less?

    Surprise, surprise ” The Government “

    Like

  25. 55
    Margaret Beckett says:

    Who fancies seeing me twerk?

    Like

  26. 56
    John Prescott says:

    I like to play Order Pizza.

    It’s not a game. It’s just what I do every night for dinner.

    Like

  27. 57
    Gordon Brown says:

    Is parliament back already? In that case, I’ll pop in some time next January.

    Like

  28. 58
    • 80
      retardEd Miliband says:

      That’th why I wath in favour of attacking Thyria, and that’th why I voted againtht it. But there thould be another vote, and in that vote I will vote for or againtht military action, depending on the phay’th of the moon and the time of the day, and whether there’th an “eth” in the month.

      It’th important to be conthithtent.

      I will be an exthellent Prime Minithter.

      Like

  29. 60
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Like

  30. 67
    Francois Hollande says:

    Mes Amis, Je suis un little worried.Si les Yanquis militarise decide not to join l’attaque..well…nous sommes all on our own pour la battaile de Syria.

    And our fighting record as a nation is a little, ‘ow you say, cowardly coustard?

    Like

  31. 73
    Little Boy Blue says:

    Ariel Castro, jailed for 1000 years, commits suicide,

    Bet the prison authorities are pleased, imagine the cost of keeping him that long.

    Like

  32. 77
    Frank Carson says:

    I just had a dump. It’s a crapper!

    Like

  33. 81
    Chuka Umunna says:

    I would do such a better job than Ed at PMQs. I just exude a smooth confidence with my velvety voice, my posh accent, my handsome features and my £1000 bespoke suit. I know I come off as smug and oily, but that’s only because I am.

    Like

    • 86
      Margaret Hodge, multimillionaire tax-dodger, says:

      Any chance your family will stop tax-dodging?

      Oh! You’re a socialist! Well, fine and dandy. Me too!

      Carry on!

      Like

  34. 82

    Yesterday, I awoke aboard the Stena Hollandica as it approached Hoek van Holland bringing an end to my short visit to England. The previous day, I had looked at the wonderful double hammerbeam roof at St Mary at the Quay, Ipswich and then gone to Flatford Mill, to the south, where John Constable painted many of his famous canvasses (AC1 note: he had no state subsidy! :-)).

    I had been struck by the friendliness of the people I had met which stood in stark contrast to the dying inner city area, another example of political failure of left wing policies. Ipswich had a Labour MP for the Labour government years (1997 to 2010) and a Labour dominated council (from 1997 to now with an interregnum of NOC).

    Labour kills small businesses The beginning, the middle and the end.

    It is with despair that I see the stoical nature of the English. We talk about piano wire but we never use it for its most efficacious purpose. And all those lovely lamp posts.

    Like

    • 91
      One-term Dave (dragging the Tories to their grave) says:

      “Labour kills small businesses”

      To be honest, my policies of

      1. High energy taxes
      2. High rate of VAT
      3. Not re-evaluating business rates (and not planning to until, pfff, whenever..)

      haven’t exactly helped business, either.

      Meh. Never mind. I’m rich. I don’t care.

      Like

      • 94

        Dave may not be very good. I would agree with that without difficulty.

        But he is a saint compared with his two predecessors and you appear to be a supporter of at least one of those.

        Like

        • 101

          It feels really good to be home. Whilst I had an enjoyable trip and it was good to catch up with old friends, it is not the same as it was and I think that I would struggle to start paying tax again.

          Like

          • Hello sock!

            Given the tax I paid on diesel in the UK, the tax on alcohol and all the stuff I bought, it would keep you in your benefits for several months.

            BTW, you have not said how much tax you pay…

            Like

          • Twat Watch says:

            Schrodinger’s Cat you are a twat. I know you love to pretend that you are very wealthy, and no doubt having spent your working life as a teller at a bank you have a few quid saved. I doubt that you got out much to spend it. However, do you really think that the tax that you paid on a little bit if diesel, alcohol and misc other expenses would pay to keep the average sponger in this miserable country connected to the internet and cable tv.

            Like

          • Well, clearly you are the miserable one. I have made no claim to be very wealthy and do not regard myself as so. However these things are all relative and the poorest poster here will be rich compared, say, with the average inhabitant of Sierra Leone. So to a greater extent your charge is fatuous.

            I was indeed a cashier at a bank, not at first. I even had to work my way up to that, my first job was filing away the cheques. My cashier time was between 1967 and 1969. Few people at this level get wealthy unless they inherit. Indeed, I left the bank precisely because the progression was so slow. It was questionable as to whether I was likely to make it to branch manager before I retired.

            So I quit and found a fast-track approach which got me to the other end of the rankings. Believe me once you get there, it does not seem so special apart from the better pay. Money merely stops you from having quite so many problems. It delivers nothing in the way of happiness. I ceased to work in banking around 2000 and emigrated in 2007. Another choice which was validated by events, though not immediately.

            Like

        • 120
          Casual Observer says:

          Dave’s two predecessors ? Major and Thatcher ? They were good.

          I hope you are not counting Blair and Brown.

          Like

    • 95
      EU Watch says:

      Added costs resulting from EU regulations also does not help.

      Like

  35. 98
    Casual Observer says:

    How are S!no-!srael relations doing these days ?

    Like

  36. 99
    Owen Jones says:

    I swallow?

    Like

  37. 103
    As Expected says:

    Dave appoints convinced Eurotrougher to ambassador post:

    http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/09/04/uk-britain-eu-ambassador-idUKBRE9830SM20130904

    Previously worked for…. Ken Clarke and…. Leon Brittain…..

    Like

    • 105

      … and your point is exactly what?

      Like

    • 107
      Casual Observer says:

      He also got a good review from Denis Macshane, so we know what sort of guy they’re sending over.

      Like

      • 113

        Hello CO. It is good to be back.

        Like

        • 124
          Casual Observer says:

          Was good to hear of your travels, and looks forward to seeing more of you back here.

          Saw an interesting question posted here yesterday by JJ:

          Trotsky was Stalin’s nemesis…do you know why?

          http://tinyurl.com/my96w7b

          What is your take ?

          Oh – a couple of others appear to be using this moniker at present, so ignore any schizophrenic posts :-)

          Like

          • There is a sock using mine. Probably the usual one – I had hoped he would have fucked off whilst I was away.

            Like

          • Lloyds customer who has lost their local branch to TSB says:

            It’s a very convincing sock, and appears to be signed in to your W’press account.

            It’s easy to filter the mong from the real deal, but is odd as to why this one bothers.

            Imitation is a form of flattery and all that.

            (If it is one of the lefty trolls, then at least they have improved their standard of prose.)

            Like

          • It is my experience that subversive is a word used by the left against anyone whose view does not conform to the party line.

            It may be used against the “wrong form of left” or anyone of any alternative political persuasion. I have never heard it used by someone from the right and certainly not by anyone of a libertarian persuasion.

            Trotsky was so labelled, in terms of the former category, as early as the fin de siècle, a period that was regarded by them as one of degeneration. The irony of this view in terms of where they were heading was going to take the best part of a century to become fully apparent.

            Despite the fact they had such apparently substantial areas of disagreement, the net effect was similar to the rearrangement of deckchairs on the Titanic to use a contemporaneous analogy. I find very little to commend in their ideas.

            Having said that, there were almost no illicit and harmful drugs in USSR and its satellites before the fall of communism so I am happy to recognise such criticisms against western society.

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            having read through these comments I decline to say – other than the SC at 8:50 last comment “… no ilicit harmful drugs … etc” is wrong.

            The trick the Commies [the moneymen who really controlled it all] played on the vast majority of the public was to keep most of them in a permanent state of drunkenness – with ‘cheap vodka’. A neat trick eh! [rocket fuel pun intended]

            Both Stalin & Trotsky were deranged barbaric nutters. But controlled nutters the pair of them. One had to be chosen to be the top dog by their ultimate controlling and funding masters. The other had to play second fiddle. Jeez this is this starting to read something like another pair of more recent deranged nutters. Anyway their intrigues and dislikes of each other back in them days didn’t much help the ordinary man in the street and eventually the chosen one bumped off the other. I think I’ll leave it at that for now Kiddies – Are you thinking what I’m thinking of; and about history and repeats / place-men cum puppets of their masters?

            Like

          • I don’t know about you, BW, but I travelled to all the Communist Block countries in Europe plus Outer Mongolia and the ex-Yugoslavia, in some of these cases more than once.

            My observations are made as a result of these visits and, whilst anecdotal, are an accurate reflection of what I saw.

            I have travelled to most of them since the fall of Communism and cannot fail to notice the differences that have taken place. I am no fan of communism chiefly due to the lack of freedom that the proletariat and even the petite bourgeoisie enjoy.

            Are you suggesting that heroin and cocaine should be freely available?

            My main point which you may have missed is that freedom from the communist yoke, whilst in the main desirable, has not been an unmitigated success.

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Taxidermist for the cat.

            Like

        • 130

          I can say that sort of stuff quite well for myself thanks and do not require any help from you.

          Like

    • 112
      The Cabinet Secretary says:

      Goodness

      “He also has private sector experience, having worked as the head of the public sector groups at Barclays Capital and Citigroup.”

      Just the sort of chap we want

      He fronted up for criminal and bailed out banks

      That must have been just before the Crash

      Ideal….

      Like

      • 127
        Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

        Don’t worry ! I saved the World. Just after I forced Lloyds Bank into bed with HBOS and a while after I knighted Fred Goodwin.

        Bring ME back !

        Like

        • 134
          Lloyds customer who has lost their local branch to TSB says:

          Vote UKIP

          Like

          • Obvious innit says:

            And get ed Milliband

            Like

          • Real Conservatives vote UKIP says:

            One assumes, O i, that you would prefer Dave – how would that be any different from Vacant Ned ? They’re just two sides of the same worthless coin.

            Some would say that we have a choice between enthusiastic amateurs and professionals; the trouble is that the ‘professionals’ are proven professional crooks.

            Like

  38. 106
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    Should I be worried that my left testicle is bigger than the other two?

    Like

  39. 110
  40. 123
    Paxmong's Beard (no relation to Mary) says:

    At least it wasn’t Fruitcake Ninja that bum boy Dave likes.

    Like

  41. 128
    Ed Bollocks says:

    I…gulp…wel…gulp….come….the…gulp….recovery.

    Like

    • 145
      Anonymous says:

      It’s much better late than never, but earlier would have been better. That’s how most economists would respond to mounting evidence that the UK recovery is starting to be more balanced.

      Your old knock off Steph Flanders supporting you still.

      Like

  42. 131
    The Cincinatti Kid says:

    I bet he’s now had his (McCain oven) chips

    Like

  43. 136
    Gay Gordon says:

    I would just like to say that Malalalalala owes all her celebrity to me.

    Like

  44. 140
    Fishy says:

    Bored, I’ve just turned to BBC 3, Mehdi Hassan is holding court to a load of young people on the Syria issue.

    He’s just said that the use of Chemical Weapons in Syria is a ‘red herring’. SHAMi Chuckabtty is on the panel too.

    The TV is at risk

    What a c.unt Hassan is….but then again I’m only a kufur / pig

    Like

    • 142
      Fishy says:

      Sorry. I meant to say Hassan is a complete and utter c.unt.

      Like

      • 172
        The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

        Definition of insanity:

        Watching BBC3 and expecting to see anything other than a socialist circle-fuck.

        You have nearly got the trifector though:

        Sharmi KebabTits, Mental Hassan and Owen Jones.

        You are only missing Owen.

        If you can tweet at him whilst watching what you are on the beeb and leave a few comments on some Huff Po articles about bedroom tax, and survive to tell the tale, you perhaps should be on a more left leaning blog. :-)

        Like

  45. 141
    Fall out tin foil brigade says:

    Us senate won’t give permission
    Obama blames uk
    Dave blames ed Millitwat and Labour
    No war, labour get all the blame and ed looks like the total arsehole back stabbing Cnut he really is

    What’s not to like?

    Like

    • 151
      Chess says:

      We are now beginning to understand the why behind Dave’s haste. He was told by the US to sign up the UK into the coalition of the willing (i.e. accepting the yankee /neocon will), but with a ludicrous timeframe. To Dave’s credit, he probably told the yanks that he would have to secure parliamentary approval (previous promise), and arrogantly believed that he could easily swing it.

      Dave fucked up big time!

      Like

      • 156
        Tony Blair (peace envoy) says:

        Dave should kill! KILL! CRUSH! DESTROY!

        BOMB! BOMB! BOMB!

        Like

      • 180
        Spin Time says:

        So, Ed Miliband outwitted the global neo-con cabal ?

        More cock up than conspiracy.

        Like

      • 217
        local wind says:

        more likely he sees Assad as an evil bastard just like most right thinking people do and like Obama believes if chemical weapons become the norm we’re in the shit

        Like

        • 323
          Not waving but droning says:

          You’re so right, windy, far better to be killed by DU, Agent Orange or White Phosphorus. Best of all, of course, by cruise missile or drone. Would you like to send me your coordinates now?

          Like

  46. 144
    Not surprised says:

    BBC Three: biased debate with selective quotes being taken off the internet on the Syrian issue

    Like

    • 191
      Man from the street says:

      I saw the episode of ‘free speach’ with Tommy Robinson on, there was a posh middle class white teenage girl on claiming she was the victim of racism because her grandparents were Polish.

      C u n t.

      Like

      • 197
        The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

        Well the girl should have reported her rac!st grandparents to the authorities.

        Like

        • 204
          Man from the street says:

          You have to laugh, the bloke who introduced that particular episode started out saying, welcome to Free Speech on BBC3, unfortunately we cannot talk about Lee Rigby for legal reasons!

          Like

      • 227
        balanced vision says:

        says it all when shamitwat and hassan get top votes …the whole programme was a waste of time

        Like

  47. 148
    Careers Advice says:

    How can I become a BBC executive,do nothing and get a huge payoff?

    Like

  48. 154
    Urghhhhhhhhhhh says:

    how much would the BBC pay me to drop a 3lb shit in the bog?

    Like

  49. 155
    Mystic Peg, astrologer says:

    I’ve been reading the horoscope of our politicians –

    Barry Obama, Taurus the Bull sh*tter, says anything to make a buck.

    William Vague, always seen close to Uranus, only William believes a word he says.

    ‘Call me Dave’ Dave, a Cancer that has eaten away everything decent in England

    Ed and Ed, Gemini, the twins without an idea between them

    Gideon, Pisces as always fishing for money from your wallet

    I think everyone can foresee Syria’s going to be a clusterf*ck.

    Like

    • 159
      The future says:

      1. Camoron will lose the next election.

      2. Ed Milimong will, er, “win” it.

      3. Ed Milimong’s government will be crappier than any government we’ve seen before, and worse than anything we’ve ever feared.

      4. There will be lots more immigration and lots more debt.

      5. Britain is screwed.

      Like

      • 163
        Gordon McFuckwit bust says:

        I saved the world you know, I did…. I saved the world I did I dihihihihddd *sobs*

        Like

      • 164
        Alex Salmond, formerly the cleverest politician in Britain says:

        Haste ye to Scotland, bonnie lad. Or the Free Socialist Republic of Scotland as I will call it after 2014, when I will win the referendum and asked to be President for Life by a grateful people.

        Like

      • 201
        Point of Information 4 says:

        A Miliband government would be a ‘fuck you’ just short of a full on nuclear assault from the neo-con loons to the UK people.

        Let us pray for UKIP.

        Like

  50. 157
    The Tit in Number 10 says:

    I promise that the UK will be the world’s biggest foreign aid donor. I know that the British people are as proud as I am to be giving this money away.

    Like

    • 160
      Indian Spaceman says:

      Cheers, Dave! We couldn’t be aiming for the moon without you!

      I just hope we don’t crash-land in Britain, what with you closing down the NHS and getting rid of doctors.

      To save money.

      Like

      • 168
        Labour, we have a problem says:

        Is it right the the unions have volunteered Ed Milliband for the mars one way ticket? Surely the little green men don’t deserve that?

        Like

        • 189
          Durr says:

          “Is it right the the unions have volunteered Ed Milliband for the mars one way ticket?”

          No.

          Like

        • 194
          UK Ambassador For Mars says:

          After his shameless performance last week I have been informed that Mr. Ed Miliband has been declared persona-non gratis by the people of Mars, and they refuse to issue him a visa, or would be willing to process his application for asylum.

          Moreover, they would not accept him as leader.

          Like

    • 165
      Mistah Mdonga Mbonga says:

      Thank you Mr Cameron. It is high time my fleet of Mercedes was upgraded.

      Like

    • 181
      Starving Ethiopian says:

      What are we meant to do with 250,000 Ladybird books of “Jack and John enjoy a same-sex partnership – a gift from the British people’?

      Like

      • 192
        One-term Dave (dragging the Tories to their grave) says:

        Same sex marriage dear boy! Marriage!

        I shall jolly well be over to Ethiopia to export same sex marriage, quite soon, what what.

        Unless.. you’ll cut my head off for trying. Which is quite OK, that’s your culture. I get that.

        I’ll just stick to f*cking up Britain.

        Tally ho!

        Like

  51. 166
    The BBC are cunts says:

    Like

    • 172
      Axe the telly tax says:

      It’s not their money they don’t give a shit. These are the same idiots who make news out of a Tory parish councillor that gets paid 5 quid petrol money over what he should have been

      Like

      • 179
        BBC executive says:

        What’s yours is mine.
        What’s mine is mine.
        And there’s fuck all you can do about it.

        Like

      • 187
        The BBC are cunts says:

        In the private sector we would all be fired. Here in lovely, cuddly ‘ Auntie’, we’re fire-proof. Pay up or we send the detector vans round to give you a criminal record. :)

        Like

    • 186
      Kleptomania at the BBC says:

      The BBC now represents institutionalised THIEVING from the British taxpayer

      These illegal payments are being made every week

      We are just seeing the tip of the kleptomnia

      It is out of control and noone is doing anything to stop it FFS

      At least in a serious banana republic, someone would go in and shoot the top management (or do a decent hold up)

      Can’t we organise a Robin Hood attack on the Beeb?

      Like

    • 206
      Enough is enough says:

      If we were not in a terminally sick banana monarchy, that arsehole Chairman of the BBC would have been defenestrated long ago

      It would take volumes to describe the scandals at the BBC which have been going on for decades

      We have joked about and attacked the BBC on this blog. But it is far beyond a joke…

      Can you imagine a real Police Operation in the BBC now?

      They would discover rentboy pimping, kiddy rape, cocaine dealing, grand larceny, blackmail and any number of other crimes

      And the Chairman of this shithole continues in office, troughing and fiddling while his joint has become worse than Nero’s Rome

      Like

    • 210
      Enough is enough says:

      The BBC is worse than Nero’s Rome

      And the Management still fiddles and the grand larceny continues

      Time for a revolution, boys and girls of good will

      Like

    • 248
      You dont suppose these payments are masking drug money do you ? says:

      To be fair when your out your fucking nut on prime columbian cocaine the odd £700 000 doesnt seem that extravegant.

      Like

  52. 177
    Ed Balls says:

    Gordon is headbutting me a coracle from Milliband’s garage door

    Like

  53. 183
  54. 193
    SamCam says:

    I hope you lot are pleased with yourselves! You’ve been so horrid to my Dave he’s…well lets just say he’s unable to leave me completely satisfied as a woman.

    I’ve had to rely on some discrete toys from Ann Summers; in case you don’t believe me, I’ve posted some selfies in the usual place.

    Like

  55. 208
    Fried Onions says:

    Thingy on the radio last night said TOR financed by the US Nay and set up to help dissidents in bad lands to remain anonymous is not anonymous the Yank spooks have access to it.

    Like

  56. 215
    I'm not gay. Ask my wife She'll tell you but she only speaks Welsh says:

    Like

  57. 216
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    *** Breaking News ***
    McCain lost chips!

    Like

  58. 218
    The Editor of the Tatler glossy rag says:

    My advice to Toby Young is not to seek the Hammersmith candidacy

    He should just kiss Dave’s arse for another 6 months and he can go straight to the House of Lords

    That way he needs no contact with the plebs and he can trough for life like his Dad

    It worked for Finkelstein, why not for dear Toby?

    Like

  59. 219
    The yanks are coming the yanks are coming says:

    BBC breaking news

    Syria crisis: US Senate panel backs use of force

    A US Senate panel has approved the use of military force in Syria, in response to an alleged chemical weapons attack.

    By 10-7, the Committee on Foreign Relations moved the measure to a full Senate vote, expected next week.

    Like

  60. 222
    The Editor of GQ glossy rag says:

    Traffic must be good this week old son

    Just keep throwing some Iranian molotov cocktails in the blog and it will continue to explode…

    Then we can jointly elect you blogger of the world

    Like

  61. 225
    betterlatethannever says:

    Guido is at least 24 hours late with this one

    Like

    • 279
      His own arse says:

      He’s either behind himself or in front.

      Like

    • 289
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Some bloggers on here are way ahead of Government spinmeisters. e.g. within minutes of the palpable b/s that government speakspersons spew out as hot air – their blatherins are TORN TO SHREDS – wake up numb skull n bonesman.

      Like

  62. 228
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Like

    • 230
      Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two bog seats, two Jags & Shags. says:

      What a load of fat fuckers on the Labour benches !!

      Like

    • 233
      Green benches says:

      Why is that bloke behind Dave wearing a purple armband with live written on it?

      Like

    • 255
      Real Conservatives vote UKIP says:

      Is that bloke on the left sitting where Gordon used to go ? He seems to have caught the same disease. (Well, one of Gordon’s diseases.)

      Like

  63. 232
    Covered Faces `R` Us says:

    If you do not protect our brothers you are for it. If you do protect our brothers you are for it, Is lamic Code.

    Like

    • 237
      Enriched Eric of Enfield says:

      Why do you cover so. Your pretty charms wrapped in curtains with a squaw upon your back, 3 kids ahead and bennies book in hand are denied us all. Why not hang a “let” slip on your back or a ring on your finger if you wish to signify your marriage.

      Like

  64. 234
    White Hat Geek says:

    Looks like Twitter may be down.

    Like

  65. 238
    Milf Watch says:

    Fuck me… did anyone else just clock Elisabeth Guigou on News at Ten?

    Like

  66. 244
    Casual Observer says:

    Like

  67. 246
    Designby peterjobes says:

    All this shite about you have got to be in the EU to influence the EU. Then why isn’t Miliwank insisting we are part of the attack on Syria using the very same logic?

    Like

  68. 251
    Tojo says:

    To say a religious mix is involved in Syria and it’s past would be an understatement, the area has a long history of rebellions and uprisings, slaughter on a grand scale by one sect or another has been frequent and commonplace.. One has to see the French Hand in this conflict, they used the Alawite’s as a buffer against the more dominant Sunni faction, creating an Alawite Officer Class in the Armed Services.
    The mix of factions including the Druze is a hotchpotch of various religions with a history drawing on just about every Religious good idea that suited the region or community. Alawite follower Assad celebrates Christmas, Easter and other Christian Festivals, is very close to the Druze, many of who are fighting for him against the mostly Sunni backed rebels. Turkey is predominately Sunni so opposed to the Alawite / Shia alliance who are still arguing about the Hatay Province, annexed by the Turks but originally part of Syrian territory.
    The Islamification of modern Secular Turkey is threatened by the Military overthrow of an Islamic Government in Egypt but more directly by Secular Syria.
    Many Druze are in the Israeli army where their fighting skills are much appreciated but as an almost closed society, have survived by blending in where ever they are, as have the Jews.
    Although this might not be a completely accurate assessment of the situation, it is close enough to show the complexity of the mix, add the cack- handed French Colonial meddling in the region and you have a religious powder keg.
    This scenario is completely beyond the Ham Fisted Americans capacity to appreciate and sadly the delicate touch has never been their forte.
    There has been slaughter in the region for a thousand years and is unlikely to stop because the Yanks are jealous and missing out on the sale or supply of weapons with the Chinese & Russians having it all to themselves.
    Notice not too much has been said about the use of Napalm, I wonder why.

    Like

    • 296
      Jack says:

      Sounds like Britain and Iraq and Palestine

      Neither Syria nor Iraq nor Jordan are “countries” as we understand the term

      They are all colonial creations

      So thet are exploding which is quite normal and will have difficulty recreating stable entities

      The cack handed US and UK efforts in Iraq should be a good example for us for keeping out of these peoples internal affairs

      Like

      • 315
        Not Blowing Whistles says:

        The UK Governments pre-occupation with the internal affairs of countries in this region is both astonishing and misguided.

        PMQs reflected this quite well.

        The mantra of: ‘What are we going to do about …. in country … ‘ being echoed is unhealthy and wrong.

        As an ex-colonial power it is understandable, particularly if discussing what is happening in colonies or protectorates. But these are independent nation states.

        At a time when the UK itself has very deep problems which need addressing, such concern and desire to meddle in the internal affairs of others is not rational.

        There is nothing to be lost by respecting the independence of other states and addressing problems at home first.

        It is morally repugnant to impose your own relative moral value systems on those abroad. The hypocrisy is stifling when this is contrasted against the splintering of English culture in order to artificially accommodate the value systems of immigrants and the European Union within the UK.

        We are likely to see the UK explode in the same way as certain middle east states unless the homeland is repaired.

        Like

  69. 254
    Pink Elephant and Eagle says:

    Like

  70. 256
    War Watch says:

    The insurgents are still murdering Christians and the Syr!an troops who are stationed to protect them:

    The approval for motion next week was voted through, however the rushed timing has broken rules:

    h**p://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/officials-press-lawmakers-to-approve-syria-strike-obama-invokes-congresss-credibility/2013/09/04/4c93a858-155c-11e3-804b-d3a1a3a18f2c_story.html

    Obama is trying to distance his credibility from that of Congress / Senate on the issue, and is spinning to make this an international community credibility issue.

    Worth noting to get an idea of the type of politics Obama is playing.

    Considering his responsibility as commander in chief, one would have thought that as the US itself was not under direct attack he would perhaps be a little more impartial.

    Like

  71. 260
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Help is at hand: I know where Gordon’s Money Trees are.

    Like

  72. 261
    Night cap anyone? says:

    Like

  73. 263
    Mongs of War says:

    Like

    • 268
      Trident says:

      Dave should nuke both sides. It is only fair. They are both killing people.

      Like

      • 274
        T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

        Shut up. It’s the religion of piss and I am the Middle East Peace Envoy.

        Like

      • 283
        Mongs of War says:

        Probably not a smart move with some of the other players involved.

        Dave is best advised to keep his head firmly down on this one.

        There is probably no point in supplying this system as it would be targetted:

        Ha’aretz is going loopy about Russ!a threatening to sell the S300 all over if Syr!a is attacked. That is an incredible claim.

        The S300 system is a better version of the Patriot system. Russ!a did suspend sale and have recently confirmed that S300 destined for !ran have been destroyed.

        Like

    • 303
      Caligula says:

      Very strange that Cameroon is advocating military action when the UK Parliament has just rejected thev idea

      He has no mandate to do so

      Is he on cocaine like Tony Blair?

      These people seem to think they can walk on water

      Like

      • 307
        Not Blowing Whistles says:

        Cameron is not Blair: He doesn’t float, he sinks, and is way out of his depth.

        Glad I am not the only one to find it strange that he is issuing hawk like press releases after ruling out a second vote, losing last weeks, stating he ‘gets’ the view of Parliament and Clegg confirmed there would be no indirect support.

        Shouting from the touchline in this way is tacky, and he should only be expressing such views in a personal capacity, not officially.

        Very sneaky he released this after PMQs as well.

        Like

  74. 264
    David Minibanana says:

    Deck chairs and Titanic springs to mind.

    Like

  75. 281
    Julia Gillard says:

    Whatever happened to me?

    Like

  76. 282
    Blowing Whistles says:

    This alky kaieda thingy – and the mere mention of the wprds; well it ain’t half served some people rather well for 13 years or so.

    Just the mere mention of the words and indoctrinated ‘into a way of thinking’, people associate it with all manner of them bad boys over there.

    Innit odd that they have not been completely routed [us Term] by all these so called intelligent services or could it be that they are positively encouraged if not managed and manipulated into certain areas for certain reasons that the ordinary joe public cannot readily see beyond the surface?

    AQ – have served and still do a chosen brief.

    Like

    • 285
      Blowing Whistles says:

      They are a very ‘convenient’ tool with which to fool – ‘fools’ who are too stoopid to realise what they are allowing to happen.

      Like

      • 293
        Not Blowing Whistles says:

        Do you not get the sense that the biggest dupes at present are the American people ?

        They have woken up a bit late.

        After seeing most of their productive economy transferred to Ch!na, being left with a nation of strip malls and arms manufacturers, their dream has been transformed into a corrupt nightmare of perpetual war and imminent b’ankruptcy.

        They probably realize that they are themselves are shortly to be discarded as a spent force of useful idiots, once certain geopolitical changes have been realized.

        Perhaps a closer look at the Sino-!sraeli relationship is in order for some real enlightenment.

        Like

        • 299
          Caligula says:

          Very Roman I say

          When the Chinese sell a few hundred surplus billion of US treasuries

          And interest rates go up say 1 or 2 percent

          Obama and Congress are in the shyt again

          Popcorn and Tomahawks I say

          Like

          • Not Blowing Whistles says:

            Roman indeed.

            But Ed is not the messiah who will be nailed to the cross, just one of the inconvenient fools.

            Who will assume the role of messiah this time ?

            Like

          • Stop censorship says:

            I cannot see any really serious player in the UK at the moment

            That is the problem

            Like

  77. 284
    Tojo says:

    Eternal Life
    A guy is walking along a beach when
    he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand .
    He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub .

    A genie appears and tells him
    he has been granted one wish .

    The guy thinks for a moment and says,
    “I want to live forever . ”

    “Sorry,”
    said the genie,

    “I’m not allowed to grant
    Eternal Life .”

    “OK, then, I want to die after a
    Labour
    government balances the budget
    and eliminates the debt .

    “You crafty little bastard,”
    said the genie . .

    =

    Like

  78. 286
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Ed, who’s got our £ 3,000,000.00 overdraft ???

    Like

    • 301
      Caligula says:

      That Co op bankers deserves a knighthood shurely?

      After all, the others all got gongs and peerages for wrecking their banks and Britain

      Like

    • 305
      Caligula says:

      When is someone going to find the balls to prosecute and jail these people

      Or is Britain going to pride itself on the breakdown of the Rule of Law?

      And being a banana monarchy?

      No pride left?

      Like

  79. 290
    Mongs of War says:

    Russ!a and the US face a diplomatic impass:

    The US has stated that it is intending to maintain a similar intransigent position. (Assuming of course the Senate motion passes next week)

    The Russ!ans have been making some real concessions though, particularly S300 suspension, which is very significant. Such an agreement would have been made behind closed doors. They obviously do not trust the other side of that agreement to be honored which is why it has been made public. The release is likely not disinformation.

    That can be argued to be a material degradation of Assad’s military.

    The Nimitz has been moved to the Red Sea and has full coverage of Syr!a / the Russ!an fleet from its position. The force is not evenly matched by Russ!a as Russ!a does not have an aircraft carrier in the area.

    The US did move Truman to the Arabian sea last month, so they are maintaining carrier presence in the Pers!an Gulf:

    h**p://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/us-officials-navy-boosts-carrier-presence-gulf-20101267

    The effect on shipping premiums must be noticeable for many now.

    Like

    • 308
      Stop censorship says:

      Interesting

      And what will Iran do?

      As I told you, with AIPAC doing their blackmail, I looks like the authority will pass the Senate and House

      The laws of unintended consequences now swibg into play

      Like

      • 314
        Mongs of War says:

        The following article is instructive:

        !ran has direct experience of CW attacks, but the new Rouhan! government is young.

        !ran should promote its direct experience from events such as Halabja to make its case for demanding informed involvement in the diplomacy. Their case and reasoning for involvement carries unquestionable moral weight, would be proofed against AIPACs manipulation of the narractive, and would be supported by Russ!a.

        The issue of !ran’s alleged nuclear weapons program should be closed down in this case.

        Such an action would help rehabilitate !ran’s international image, and remove some of the wind from anti-!ranian sails, such as that which remains in the UK over the 2011 embassy incident.

        (Such sentiment is very pithy and somewhat pathetic: No UK staff were killed or even seriously harmed.)

        The inexperience of the new government has precluded this, and led to minor errors of judgement, particularly running the western propaganda holding Assad responsible ahead of the game.

        !ran still has time to make the case, and Russ!a may be best positioned to argue this in part at the G20.

        The G20 is being mis-sold in many ways though. All that can happen with the Syr!a issue is leaders will be able to speak face to face as they are scheduled to be in one place at this time. No binding agreements are possible on this issue at that venue.

        Like

  80. 298
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The declaration by Arthur James Balfour 1917. Worth re-reading – and with new found knowledge.

    Like

  81. 309
    C U N T says:

    Like

  82. 318
    broderick crawford says:

    GOVERNMENT TO BASE ALL FUTURE POLICY ON STRICT ANECDOTAL

    ALL UK policy decisions are to be based on anecdotal evidence, the government has announced.

    After health minister Anna Soubry said “glamorous” cigarette packets caused her to smoke, the government said genuine evidence would be replaced by anecdotes, which are cheaper and more interesting.

    A government spokesman said: “Why waste money on actual research when you can just think of something that happened to you, your uncle Trevor, or someone you met in the pub?

    “Some of the anecdotes we’ve gathered are frankly shocking. Apparently there’s a man in Chester who’s signing on but gets a new 52” TV and a massive slap-up curry delivered to his house every day. Yes, every day.

    “Anecdotes have also been helpful in David Cameron’s anti-porn campaign, with one Mumsnet user reporting that her son had stumbled across images of large-breasted milfs after typing ‘GCSE revision guides’ into Google.”

    The new policies will include a price increase on fizzy alcoholic drinks, because the bubbles make you more pissed, and a total ban on sitting too close to the TV, which it is hoped will prevent people needing glasses.

    Office worker Nikki Hollis said: “It’s about time the government started listening to anecdotes. My boss’s auntie was in hospital recently and one of the doctors was clearly smoking a spliff.

    “Or he might have had a pen in his mouth, but it’s best to be on the safe side and close the hospital down.”

    Like

  83. 321
  84. 322
    Tojo says:

    If the Powers that Be, do not read Guido, then they must be out of touch with the People, yes there are left wing cranks, trying to throw a spanner in the works but look between the lines and you will find much common sense with a splash of reality. It is interesting that my friends around the world, now follow Order Order as being an accurate insight to British Political Machinations.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC
No.10 Ambushed by EU Prosperity Tax | Times
10 Years of Guido | Iain Dale


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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