August 23rd, 2013

Quote of the Day

Victim’s solicitors allege that Mike Hancock MP…

“…exposed his penis and invited her to masturbate him.”


  1. 1
    The leader of the Camservative Party says:

    I say old beans, if I was to scrap HS2 anybody know how many Millenium Domes I could build up and down the land for the same money?

    • 6
      So far today, Dave has squandered £31,998,332.06 on our EU membership. says:

      80, give or take.

      But why not build 80 domes and the HS2?

      Go on, you know you want to.

      • 7
        The leader of the Camservative Party says:

        Now you have got me thinking. How about making every train station on the track a dome. Wouldn’t it be marvellous to walk off the train to be met by clowns, and jugglers.

        Oh no silly me I’m thinking about the Westminster stop.

  2. 2
    Clovis Marca says:

    The victim replied “Pop it behind me ear, I’ll smoke it later”

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Interestingly this post was accompanied by an ad for a company offering to write Honours nominations for anyone – presumably for a fee. I wonder whether the ad targeting strategy was reacting to the words “Mike Hancock”? Strange if so.

  4. 4
    Victim Impact Statement says:

    Well it looked like a penis, only smaller.

  5. 8
    arden hooss says:

    reminds one of Dr Cameron in Dr Finlay’s Casebook

    Janet – tak o’er will you while i’m changing hands

  6. 9
    So far today, Dave has squandered £32,215,220.70 on our EU membership. says:

    And she declined?? I’m astonished. What young lady wouldn’t leap at the chance to jerk some old weirdy beardy’s gristly little todger?

  7. 9
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Proving that he has always tried to live up to his name– ya think?
    Some jokes just write themselves, FFS!

  8. 11
    the girl next door says:

    i thought it was a snake
    so hit it with a rake…..

  9. 12
    where there's a will there's a brief says:

    is the witness sure of the identity of the honourable member?

  10. 13
    Handycock says:

    I had a hole in my pants, and it just sort of fell out.

Seen Elsewhere

Labour’s Plan to Attack Part-Time Boris | Standard
Ex-Sun Hack Cleared After 582 Days on Bail | MediaGuido
11 Times Boris Denied He Would Stand for Parliament | Buzzfeed
Attacking UKIP’s Posters is Counter-Productive | Guardian
Sarkozy Tried it on With Hollande’s Ex | Times
Another Spare Room Subsidy Cut Success | Harry Phibbs
Rich Now Have Less Leisure Than Poor | Economist
UKIP’s Immigration Policy Promotes Migrant Entrepreneurs | Breitbart
Another Feminist Lecture | Laura Perrins
UKIP Posters Bad Economics But Good Politics | James Delingpole
Tories Losing to UKIP in Scotland | ConHome

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads