August 23rd, 2013

Dave, 46, From Westminster


198 Comments

  1. 1
    Soap on a rope says:

    Fat bastard!

    Like

  2. 2
    lolwut says:

    Tasty rack

    Like

    • 14
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      Not as big a rack as Tony Bliar. He’s got a bigger rack than slotgob.

      Reminds me of Groucho Marx when asked if he was going to attend the premier of the film Samson and Delilah starring Victor Mature and Hedy Lamarr, he replied that he refused to go to any movie where the hero had a bigger chest than the leading lady!

      Like

    • 84
      Percy says:

      So it’s true, tory boys really like their Bitty

      Like

  3. 4
    Lord Swanbourne says:

    Not exactly Putin, is he?

    Like

  4. 5
    TOO FAR says:

    Totty Watch???????? FFS!

    Like

  5. 6
    genghiz the kahn says:

    rare whale beached in Cornwall.

    Like

  6. 9
    Anonymous says:

    Who ate all the caviar?

    Like

  7. 10
    Weightwatchers says:

    So where’s the before photo?

    Like

  8. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Room to talk Guido?

    Like

  9. 12
    The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

    It is a short step from the BNP to Labour.

    “Will Straw, son of Jack Straw, gets support from ex-BNP member for his bid to be an MP”

    As small a step as Socialism is to National Socialism.

    Like

  10. 13
    genghiz the kahn says:

    In the rush to get away for the weekedn the caption contest arrives earlier than usual on Order-Order.com

    Like

  11. 15
    The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

    It is a short step from the B*NP to Labour.

    “Will Straw, son of Jack Straw, gets support from ex-B*NP member for his bid to be an MP”

    As small a step as Socialism is to National Socialism.

    Like

    • 93
      Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

      no step at all really

      Like

    • 99
      Percy says:

      Politics could be looked upon as a circle, at the top of the circle stand the hard right and the hard left, as you go down each side of the circle you get progressively less extreme views until at the bottom of the circle you have parties similar to the LimpyDems who also have left and right wings

      Like

      • 135
        It's not all about money says:

        Perhaps politics has more dimensions than the simple left-right axis we are used to or conditioned to think in.

        Perhaps support for or against the nation state can be placed on a separate axis orthogonal to mere economics.

        Like

        • 197
          A Schikelgrueber and B Mussolini says:

          The serparate axis of which you speak for those in favour of Supra national regulation is the “axis of weasels” known in our day as “The Axis of Steel”.
          Actually for those that miss our brand of music, – remember our European tour 1939-56?), the old band has refomed and is touring the world as the EU. (So far we’ve had gigs in former Yugoslavia, sessions in Ukraine and North Africa, buut look out for a major gig in Syria.

          Like

  12. 17
    Anonymous says:

    no one can accuse him of working too hard unlike Brown

    Like

    • 33
      The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

      True. You don’t get to screw up the banking system and the economy by not doing anything.

      Like

    • 45
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      There is a use for the lazy and unintelligent , it’s the thick and hardworking like nought % growth Salvator Mundi who cause the maximum damage. Flogging off all the nation’s gold and telling everyone he was going to do it was all we needed to confirm Gordon’s nous.

      Like

  13. 18
    a non says:

    Fine figure of a man.
    Looks in great shape.
    Round’s a shape

    Like

  14. 21
    Anonymous says:

    Is Guido’s maths out? According to wikipedia Cameron was born 9 October 1966. Makes him 47, just shy of 48

    Like

  15. 22

    Please, not before breakfast…

    Like

  16. 24
    geordieboy says:

    He better watch out on the beach or the Japanese will be throwing harpoons at him.

    Like

  17. 25
    Geoge Osborne says:

    Dave would certainly benefit from a tax on pasties.

    Like

  18. 27
    ho hum says:

    Blimey! Ray Winstone’s let himself go a bit since filming Sexy Beast…

    Like

  19. 28
    Masked Marvel says:

    Does Dave have no body hair, or is he just a fan of full body waxing?

    Like

    • 72
      Feminine men don't do body hair says:

      Back, sack and crack every Wednesday after PMQs at Big Larry’s Health & Beauty Clininic in Chelsea.

      Like

    • 101
      Superior Being says:

      Some of us, the fairer ones of nordic descent, don’t have a lot. We are further removed from African ape descendancy than those from the south.

      Like

  20. 29
    Anonymous says:

    He’s fat, he’s round, he’s got 40 million pounds, David Camer-on, David Camer-on

    Like

  21. 30
    Equality Police says:

    I expect no less from SamCam.

    Like

  22. 31
    Major Disaster says:

    Bring back that picture of Chris Bryant in his underpants, at least he was in shape…

    Dave just looks like Mr Blobby….

    Like

  23. 32
    focGOM says:

    There’s the physique of a man who’s never done a day’s work..

    Like

  24. 35
    scottishcalvin says:

    So is Guido going to post a similar shot showing how 6-packed he is in comparison? Thought not….

    I don’t begrudge politicians being stout, I just don’t like them being such unscrupulous 2-faced hypocrites.

    Like

  25. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Rumour has it that David Cameron likes a good “country supper”.

    Like

  26. 37
    Sally of the tweets says:

    Poor SamCam, I’ll send some fit young bucks I know around to #10 and she’ll be completely satisfied as a woman.

    Like

  27. 38
    Postal Vote says:

    You should store good tools uder a roof, but really good tools don’t need any shelter …

    Like

  28. 40
    ho hum says:

    Q. What’s black and white and red all over?

    A. A pseudo Conservative prime minister

    Like

  29. 44
    Owen Jones says:

    I’ve never looked at an older man. Until now!

    Like

  30. 46
    Polly Toynbee ate my hamster says:

    The first of a series to collect and treasure.

    Next week : Lord Prescott.

    Like

  31. 48
    Sally B says:

    I’d shag it.

    Like

    • 55
      Polly Toynbee ate my hamster says:

      Would you remove the dwarf first?

      Like

      • 62
        Sally B says:

        He’ll probably be watching me wile he’s tied up with a orange in his mouth, he likes that sort of thing. Can’t say I complain though.

        Like

  32. 64
    Living in 97.222% white Merseyside says:

    I doubt if Hillary Clinton would find him “cute”.

    Like

    • 120
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      Even Blunkett wouldn’t touch Clinton neither would his guide dog ;-)

      Like

  33. 69
    nellnewman says:

    cleggy is in one of his luxury villas in Spain somewhere. Where are the militwits?

    Like

    • 85
      UKIP or bust says:

      He’s hiding under his bed. Some body told him Big Len was going to ‘av him after school.

      Like

  34. 79
    Homage to Stupidity says:

    I suppose Dave likes Cornwall because it is now covered in Windmills and compulsory blue starry hoardings telling people of the wonderful things the EUSSR has done.

    Like

    • 193
      Funda mental says:

      Here in sunny Redruth the blue starry Heartlands visitor attraction lies nestled betwix Tesco and Morrisons. With 19 acres of eclectic fun to explore, we are invited to, Go see, Go play, Go wow. The missus said it was shit.

      Like

  35. 81
    UKIP or bust says:

    Looks like Dave is going to have a bit of Newington trouble in the years to come.

    Like

  36. 82
    nellnewman says:

    “The Labour leader understands the nature of the UK’s economic problems. With the support of his colleagues, he will win in 2015″

    Peter Hain and John Denham

    Like

    • 121
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      And then they woke up. LOL

      Like

      • 194
        Maud Linn says:

        But would the comic book creation that is Edward Milliband do anything about it, apart from borrow trillions more than mr blobby cameron

        Like

  37. 83
    Fed Up says:

    I bet Camerons “puppet Masters” are proud of him and we all know who they are, don’t we !

    Like

  38. 86
    Vladimir Putin says:

    Fuck me, Dave’s so fat, when he fell down the stairs I thought that Eastenders was finishing.

    Like

  39. 87
    Cornish pasty says:

    Prime beef

    Like

  40. 90
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Must have been a freudian slip.

    Like

  41. 92
    Claire Perry says:

    Do you think when sexy blondes go on porn websites they get adverts popping up saying, “A fat bloke from Westminster wants to have sex with you”?

    Like

  42. 94
    If you think Cornwall is poor try buying a house there. says:

    Never understood how Cornwall manage to get so much development aid out of the EU.

    Admittedly there are a few poor folk but that’s the same everywhere. But the abundant wealth in the county more than offsets this. The place is full of millionaires and white flight.

    Those that say Cornwall is a deprived area have only seen the housing association ghettos of Camborne and Redruth. But quite how the EU money used to pave the streets with Chinese granite or build a plastic monstrosity of a third rate University helps them is very questionable.

    Like

    • 100
      news corpse says:

      there’s a business in being desolate – even mancunians have worked that out

      Like

    • 129
      Percy says:

      “Never understood how Cornwall manage to get so much development aid out of the EU. ” me put it this way, who are the people who go for UK jollies in Cornwall, buy holiday homes used 3/4 weeks of the years and weekends, the Cornish people most feel foreigners in their own country with all those Hooray Henries spending their jollies there, when they go it’s deserted, native Cornish cannot afford to live there.

      Like

      • 144
        Anonymous says:

        That’s how it is often expressed especially on Radio Cornwall and in the West Briton but it is fantasy.

        The reality is that most houses are occupied all year round, Cornwall is certainly not empty out of season and the place is full of money. It used to be a difficult place to get to but not anymore and people are more than happy to live there and even work up country.

        Deprived area NOT. And largely immigrant free but keep that a secret.

        Like

  43. 95

    Dave’s stomach grew by 0.7% in Q2, revised up from 0.6% estimate.

    Like

  44. 97
    Anonymous says:

    I have no time for the man, but let’s face it, Guido, you’re no oil painting yourself

    Like

  45. 98
    Anonymous says:

    Is that a bottle of sun block in your right pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

    Like

  46. 104
    Anonymous says:

    Umm, man approaching his 50′s who is a millionaire office based worker facing a retirement in the Lords is a bit fat but well within the bounds of normal – Shocker!

    I actually applaud the guy for not giving a damn about this inevitable unpleasantness. Seems to have a not-give-a-shit attitude that I find refreshing.

    Like

  47. 106
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    How much grease does he use to get that streaked back look on the hair? I assume hes covering a growing bald patch

    Like

  48. 108
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    What a grotesque lump of lard. Come on Ed, show us what you can do.

    Like

  49. 112
    northern boy says:

    Round here we are all marvelling at how skinny Dave is.

    Like

  50. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Does Sam do his waxing? and just where does his personal photoboy sleep on holiday?

    Like

  51. 115
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Terrible picture of Sam running towards Dave:

    http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/famous-beach-bods-wanted-gallery-1.78106

    Like

  52. 118
    jmf says:

    I suppose we have to thank our lucky stars it was not Tom Fatson

    Like

    • 124
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      The Aussies would have mistaken Fatson for a beached whale.

      Like

  53. 122
    Weygand says:

    As Hague has already bagged the judo tag, Dave had little choice but to turn to Sumo.

    Like

  54. 130
    Anonymous says:

    Fat oinker

    Like

  55. 131
    Gosport says:

    He is probably fresh from checking the TAG15 international undersea cable magnetic surveillance module connecting directly at G SEE h Q Bude is working correctly and taking a look at a Eds Millipeeds emails for good measure.

    Probably off to Cyprus soon to have a look at the one over there too.

    Like

  56. 137
    The Lizzud Returns says:

    Didn’t Guido undertake to run naked down the Mall on St Patrick’s Day if he was wrong about Osborne making payments to the IMF (as, it turned out, he was)?

    I haven’t see your fat, sweaty arse complying with that pledge yet Guido. Perhaps you shouldn’t be so quick to pass judgement on others’ looks; yours are not that great.

    Like

  57. 140
    Owen Jones's mum says:

    Dear Mr F@wkes,

    Please stop putting pictures of semi-n@ked men onto your website.

    My Owen comes here and he’s rather too young to be viewing racy pictures … and he seems to be at a rather awkward age regarding that sort of thing. I’ve had to remove the picture of Mr Putin on his horse off his bedroom wall.

    As for the rest of you, why do you like Mr Putin so much? He looks a very nasty piece of work to me and Barbera at the hairdresser’s told me he used to be a communist and likes the state to control everybody’s lives yet keep a large portion for himself and his friends.

    Barbera is a very clever girl with a GCSE in history. I wonder whether I could introduce Owen to her somehow.

    Like

  58. 142
    Rhonddablue says:

    Hope no one offers him a waffa-theen meent.

    Like

  59. 151
    Anonymous says:

    Does Dave wax?

    Like

  60. 152
    SamCam says:

    Dave’s admitted he’s been comfort eating chocolate eclairs every time a new opinion poll is published showing how badly he’s doing and how the Tories are loathed.

    And that’s a lorra, lorra eclairs!

    Like

    • 178
      Captain Menthos McMinty says:

      You’d think he’d be happy about the damage he’s done to the party, considering he isn’t actually a Tory. Politically, he’s far to the left of the Lib Dems AND the Greens combined.

      Like

  61. 153
    Anonymous says:

    “No politician should ever let himself be photographed in a bathing suit.”

    Quote from the later Herr Hitler, I believe. And, ifn fairness, that old bastard did know a bit about political staging

    Like

  62. 154
    A GP on £150,000 + private work says:

    I’d say Dave’s BMI is at least 30.

    Like

  63. 157
    Truthteller says:

    Does he wax?

    Like

  64. 159
    Diane Fatbott says:

    I’m available for topless work for a very reasonable £1,720

    Like

  65. 163
    Jimmy says:

    For heaven’s sake get him back in the water before he dies.

    Like

  66. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Clearly no austerity when it comes to mealtimes at no.10.

    Like

  67. 167
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    When I first posted i was no 2. Now the comment in question is 107 in the list. What I want to know is who are 102-106 sleeping with

    Like

  68. 168
    Tojo says:

    As we thought, no legs

    Like

  69. 171
    Anonymous says:

    46, Is that the chest or waist.

    Like

  70. 181
    alexei says:

    Lucky he is not a roast pig a bit uneven with fatty bits.

    Like

  71. 182
    Anonymous says:

    Nipples like bullets

    Like

  72. 183
    FFS says:

    Isn’t it annoying to know that this man will be able to spend the rest of his life saying to himself “I was the Prime Minister of Great Britain!”.

    Like

  73. 184
    Hairy legs says:

    Cuddly-wuddly!

    Like

  74. 186
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like an evil david hasselhof.

    Like

  75. 187
    Anonymous says:

    Is he pregnant or about to give birth to a referendum in 2014?

    Like

  76. 195
    Anonymous says:

    What a mess! Get some exercise, lets hope Boris keeps his shirt on!!

    Like

  77. 198
    Don't look Ethel says:

    I never thought the Pickles and Soames Diet plan would work.

    He’s got a bad back; no surprise there then.

    BMI through the sky, no muscle tone ( well no muscles) the man’s a physical wreck.

    Like


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Labour Votes Going Green | Guardian


Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Ralph Miliband on the English…

“The Englishman is a rabid nationalist. They are perhaps the most nationalist people in the world.”



Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.


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