August 22nd, 2013

Naked Bodybuilder Took Ecstasy on Angela Merkel’s Jet

Guido ran out of time to do this yesterday, but it is well worth coming back to. Wearing nothing but his underpants, Turkish bodybuilder ‘Volkan T’ managed to sneak his way onto Angela Merkel’s empty government jet clutching a bag of marijuana and a handful of ecstasy pills, proceeding to hold what by all accounts sounds like a spectacular party-for-one. He even released the inflatable emergency slide. Angela must be kicking herself she missed out…


57 Comments

  1. 1
    David Cameron says:

    “I am the crisis that will leave you homeless,
    The heart attack you have through stress,
    The reason the hospital you need is closed,
    The prescription you cannot afford,
    The food shopping you cannot buy,
    The reason you feel ashamed to be disabled,
    The reason you no longer have a job,
    I am the reason you are called a scrounger,
    I am David Cameron,
    This is the Tory Party,
    We are your crisis,
    And we don’t care who or what you are

    Like

    • 4
      Gordon Brown says:

      Don’t let the Tories take all the credit.

      Like

      • 44
        V1le disgusting Labour trashed my Country says:

        This is an outrage, McRuin was responsible for all this mayhem, the most incompetent Chancellor and PM in history. How dare you take the credit away from him.

        Like

    • 5
      Ed Miliband says:

      Yarp.

      Like

    • 6
      David Cameron says:

      And I am a socialist to boot.

      Like

    • 8
      Liam Byrne says:

      All these things need the one thing that we do not have left.

      Like

    • 11
      A Right Fucking Bastard says:

      “You are a deluded fucking bellend

      Who thinks money grows on fucking trees,

      Who is fucking oblivious to the fact that Socialism never ever fucking works,

      Who will vote for the Welfare Party even though its leader is foghorn-voiced lisping fuckwit,

      Who would have the country further ruined by that fucking stuttering incompetent fucking jizzwad Ed Balls,

      Who thought the fucking ludicrous Climate Change Act was a good idea instead of the criminal fucking waste of money that it is.

      You are a Labour voter.

      You don’t know your arse from your fucking elbow.

      Socialism is a creed for self-righteous bullying arsewipe and it’s dying.

      So fuck off knobhead”.

      Like

    • 17
      Hey Lefties : Still watching bad TV ? says:

      Seen this so many times.

      Totally dismal TV ad which fairly reflects NHS murder under Labour.

      The left are not famed for their originality, but really.

      You pay your Telly Tax to watch this dismal sh!t so you can repeat it here ?

      Sad, and expensive ;-)

      Like

    • 19
      the knackers man says:

      it may be a spoof of government policies but these are the consequences of delivering what the electorate has demanded for half a century

      by all means ‘vote the blighters out’ but is it enough to avoid responsibility for our own failures?

      Like

    • 24
      Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

      ” The prescription you cannot afford,”

      I haven’t had a prescription for anything for about 30 years, but they’re about £7.50, aren’t they?

      If you’re an adult and you can’t afford £7.50 for your own health, you’re an utter fucking failure. No ifs or buts. I bet these fucking spongers have all got smartphones, though.

      Can’t afford £7.50 for a prescription? Give me a fucking break. You fucking deserve to fucking die.

      Like

      • 34
        Soap Dodger says:

        I have to pay £7.85 for my Methadone. Fucking disgrace although to be fair I don’t have to rob as much as I used to.

        Like

    • 26
      Benny Fitz-Clements says:

      Hear, hear !! Well said !

      Doesn’t rhyme, scan or bear any resemblance to the truth but who cares ?
      P.S. Do you write the LibDem manifestos ?

      Like

    • 27
      Ed Miliband - Saviour says:

      Finally the wait is over.

      Allow me to present the Labour manifesto ahead of the conference.

      Like

    • 40
      what d-d-d-did the f-f-fing chicken d-d-do? says:

      thanks goodness the writer hasn’t any solutions to put forward

      they might risk unpopularity

      Like

  2. 2
    Fish says:

    Guido goes all Eurotrashy.

    Meanwhile in other thing European, the Secretary General of the Council of Europe, Thorbjørn Jagland, has written to Teresa May asking her to explain how her beastly treatment of the Guardian’s special delivery man, Miranda was compatible with Britain’s obligations under the European Convention on Human Rights.

    She should write back to Jagland and tell him to fuck off and mind his own business.

    Like

    • 13
      EU Watch says:

      That is a letter which should be filed in the circular drawer at ground level next to her desk.

      But sounds like the ECHR are trying to make the case that the UK should not detain people coming into the country who it has a good idea are involved in criminal activities, or in this case, handling stolen sensitive documents that may have national security implications.

      Is Jagland himself involved in the breach ? Perhaps he should steer clear of ladies underwear and citrus fruits for a while…

      Like

    • 25
      UKIP or bust says:

      And while she’s at it tell that boot faced tratior ashton her passport has been revoked so she needn’t bother coming back.

      Like

  3. 3
    Hausfrau says:

    Ja he looked gut. Nein to a hand out

    Like

  4. 7
    Es are good says:

    Like

  5. 9
    Phil the Greek says:

    Being naked I hope he sat down and left a poo kiss on her seat

    Like

  6. 10
    ? says:

    So who is the photo of?

    Angela or Turkey Stan?

    Like

  7. 14
    Chris Bryant says:

    ‘Wearing nothing but his underpants’ I thought it was another article about me for a minute.

    Like

  8. 15
    EU Watch says:

    So the next question is, did the guy empty the bins when finished ?

    Like

  9. 21
    Casual Observer says:

    Are we sure this was a Turkish Bodybuilder and not Chris Bryant ?

    Like

  10. 22
    Mr Spock says:

    Compared to Germany the planet Volkan is a fucking hoot

    Like

  11. 29
    Goering says:

    Slide on Luftwaffe plane?Is this some kind of Britisher joke?

    Like

  12. 32
    Chris Bryant says:

    I feel his pain

    Like

  13. 36
    It's been a long time says:

    Isn’t it time that Germany got on with what it does best and started another war?

    Like

  14. 39
    Dhimmi says:

    Like

  15. 41
    The Newshound says:

    A man in his underpants on Angela Merkel’s plane you say?

    http://eorps.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/bryant.jpg

    Like

  16. 47
    don says:

    So the man wasn’t naked and Merkel was elsewhere.

    Not much of a story even for August.

    Like

  17. 49
    Club Of Rome says:

    Green activists broke into mainstream science, got wasted, took off all their clothes and danced on its wing. Causing several hundred billion dollars of damage to the economy.

    Like

  18. 51
    dear hunter says:

    Ed Miliband says:
    August 22, 2013 at 10:31 am
    I am the only person to have got a full refund from Charles Atlas.

    PMSL

    Like

  19. 52
    Abacus says:

    Were there any smackheads on this plane?

    Just the usual nein.

    Like

  20. 53
    dai laughing says:

    never leave a kurd unstoned

    Like

  21. 54
    Wonga says:

    She has amazing norks.

    Like

  22. 55

    Angela is only interested in naked politics, without Y-fronts!

    Like

  23. 57
    leon says:

    you have a excellent blog the following! would you like to develop invite blogposts on my weblog?

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Rise of Angela Merkel | New Yorker
May SpAd Removed From Candidates List | ConHome
Clodagh’s Law | Press Gazette
Whitehall Bosses Ban Christmas | Sun
Meanwhile, in Russia… | Media Guido
Christmas TV Tips | Laura Perrins
Labour Marginal Fright | Lord Ashcroft
Osborne’ Real Deficit Reduction Record | ConHome
Blameronism | Peter Oborne
Everyone Can Lose | Staggers
Splintering of the Left | Tim Montgomerie


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