August 22nd, 2013

Naked Bodybuilder Took Ecstasy on Angela Merkel’s Jet

Guido ran out of time to do this yesterday, but it is well worth coming back to. Wearing nothing but his underpants, Turkish bodybuilder ‘Volkan T’ managed to sneak his way onto Angela Merkel’s empty government jet clutching a bag of marijuana and a handful of ecstasy pills, proceeding to hold what by all accounts sounds like a spectacular party-for-one. He even released the inflatable emergency slide. Angela must be kicking herself she missed out…


57 Comments

  1. 1
    David Cameron says:

    “I am the crisis that will leave you homeless,
    The heart attack you have through stress,
    The reason the hospital you need is closed,
    The prescription you cannot afford,
    The food shopping you cannot buy,
    The reason you feel ashamed to be disabled,
    The reason you no longer have a job,
    I am the reason you are called a scrounger,
    I am David Cameron,
    This is the Tory Party,
    We are your crisis,
    And we don’t care who or what you are

  2. 2
    Fish says:

    Guido goes all Eurotrashy.

    Meanwhile in other thing European, the Secretary General of the Council of Europe, Thorbjørn Jagland, has written to Teresa May asking her to explain how her beastly treatment of the Guardian’s special delivery man, Miranda was compatible with Britain’s obligations under the European Convention on Human Rights.

    She should write back to Jagland and tell him to fuck off and mind his own business.

  3. 3
    Hausfrau says:

    Ja he looked gut. Nein to a hand out

  4. 4
    Gordon Brown says:

    Don’t let the Tories take all the credit.

  5. 5
    Ed Miliband says:

    Yarp.

  6. 6
    David Cameron says:

    And I am a socialist to boot.

  7. 7
    Es are good says:

  8. 8
    Liam Byrne says:

    All these things need the one thing that we do not have left.

  9. 9
    Phil the Greek says:

    Being naked I hope he sat down and left a poo kiss on her seat

  10. 10
    ? says:

    So who is the photo of?

    Angela or Turkey Stan?

  11. 11
    A Right Fucking Bastard says:

    “You are a deluded fucking bellend

    Who thinks money grows on fucking trees,

    Who is fucking oblivious to the fact that Socialism never ever fucking works,

    Who will vote for the Welfare Party even though its leader is foghorn-voiced lisping fuckwit,

    Who would have the country further ruined by that fucking stuttering incompetent fucking jizzwad Ed Balls,

    Who thought the fucking ludicrous Climate Change Act was a good idea instead of the criminal fucking waste of money that it is.

    You are a Labour voter.

    You don’t know your arse from your fucking elbow.

    Socialism is a creed for self-righteous bullying arsewipe and it’s dying.

    So fuck off knobhead”.

  12. 12
    MEGABAND E says:

    i’m thinking about taking up body-building

    that should grab peoples attention

  13. 13
    EU Watch says:

    That is a letter which should be filed in the circular drawer at ground level next to her desk.

    But sounds like the ECHR are trying to make the case that the UK should not detain people coming into the country who it has a good idea are involved in criminal activities, or in this case, handling stolen sensitive documents that may have national security implications.

    Is Jagland himself involved in the breach ? Perhaps he should steer clear of ladies underwear and citrus fruits for a while…

  14. 14
    Chris Bryant says:

    ‘Wearing nothing but his underpants’ I thought it was another article about me for a minute.

  15. 15
    EU Watch says:

    So the next question is, did the guy empty the bins when finished ?

  16. 16
    Our EU membership fee: 20 billion reasons to vote UKIP says:

    Because Dimmy Dave is giving it all away.

  17. 17
    Hey Lefties : Still watching bad TV ? says:

    Seen this so many times.

    Totally dismal TV ad which fairly reflects NHS murder under Labour.

    The left are not famed for their originality, but really.

    You pay your Telly Tax to watch this dismal sh!t so you can repeat it here ?

    Sad, and expensive ;-)

  18. 18
    Ed Miliband says:

    I am the only person to have got a full refund from Charles Atlas.

  19. 19
    the knackers man says:

    it may be a spoof of government policies but these are the consequences of delivering what the electorate has demanded for half a century

    by all means ‘vote the blighters out’ but is it enough to avoid responsibility for our own failures?

  20. 20
    Common sense says:

    Well put that man.

  21. 21
    Casual Observer says:

    Are we sure this was a Turkish Bodybuilder and not Chris Bryant ?

  22. 22
    Mr Spock says:

    Compared to Germany the planet Volkan is a fucking hoot

  23. 23
    A Psychiatrist says:

    Unfortunately, spoilt by his Tourette’s syndrome.

  24. 24
    Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

    ” The prescription you cannot afford,”

    I haven’t had a prescription for anything for about 30 years, but they’re about £7.50, aren’t they?

    If you’re an adult and you can’t afford £7.50 for your own health, you’re an utter fucking failure. No ifs or buts. I bet these fucking spongers have all got smartphones, though.

    Can’t afford £7.50 for a prescription? Give me a fucking break. You fucking deserve to fucking die.

  25. 25
    UKIP or bust says:

    And while she’s at it tell that boot faced tratior ashton her passport has been revoked so she needn’t bother coming back.

  26. 26
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    Hear, hear !! Well said !

    Doesn’t rhyme, scan or bear any resemblance to the truth but who cares ?
    P.S. Do you write the LibDem manifestos ?

  27. 27
    Ed Miliband - Saviour says:

    Finally the wait is over.

    Allow me to present the Labour manifesto ahead of the conference.

  28. 28
    the knackers man says:

    to precis ‘A Right Fucking Bastard’s’ vituperative excoriation

    labour voters are gullible too

  29. 29
    Goering says:

    Slide on Luftwaffe plane?Is this some kind of Britisher joke?

  30. 30
    the governator says:

    good one!

  31. 31
    Sigmund Freud says:

    Tell me about your mother.

  32. 32
    Chris Bryant says:

    I feel his pain

  33. 33
    Barak Obama says:

    Well it sure aint chicken George.

  34. 34
    Soap Dodger says:

    I have to pay £7.85 for my Methadone. Fucking disgrace although to be fair I don’t have to rob as much as I used to.

  35. 35
    The IMF (International Money-tree Fund) says:

    “Who thinks money grows on fucking trees?”

    We do!

  36. 36
    It's been a long time says:

    Isn’t it time that Germany got on with what it does best and started another war?

  37. 37
    Ed Miliband says:

    +1

  38. 38
    Gordon Brown says:

    She was the only woman I ever wanted to fuck

  39. 39
    Dhimmi says:

  40. 40
    what d-d-d-did the f-f-fing chicken d-d-do? says:

    thanks goodness the writer hasn’t any solutions to put forward

    they might risk unpopularity

  41. 41
    The Newshound says:

    A man in his underpants on Angela Merkel’s plane you say?

    http://eorps.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/bryant.jpg

  42. 42
  43. 43
    Sandra in Accounts says:

    Maoist scum – who elected you Barroso?

  44. 44
    V1le disgusting Labour trashed my Country says:

    This is an outrage, McRuin was responsible for all this mayhem, the most incompetent Chancellor and PM in history. How dare you take the credit away from him.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    All the political ideals will work.

    However, they all suffer from the incomprehensible failures due to individual greed.

    Incomprehensible to those that naively promote these systems.

    Just think what would happen if we could convince the public to vote for track record of honesty, instead of promises.

  46. 46
    Fan-Dabi-Dozy! says:

    Is it Janette Krankie?

  47. 47
    don says:

    So the man wasn’t naked and Merkel was elsewhere.

    Not much of a story even for August.

  48. 48
    Tim Bell-End says:

    Erm, we haven’t had socialism in this country since the mid-seventies.

  49. 49
    Club Of Rome says:

    Green activists broke into mainstream science, got wasted, took off all their clothes and danced on its wing. Causing several hundred billion dollars of damage to the economy.

  50. 50
    Hausfrau iphone says:

  51. 51
    dear hunter says:

    Ed Miliband says:
    August 22, 2013 at 10:31 am
    I am the only person to have got a full refund from Charles Atlas.

    PMSL

  52. 52
    Abacus says:

    Were there any smackheads on this plane?

    Just the usual nein.

  53. 53
    dai laughing says:

    never leave a kurd unstoned

  54. 54
    Wonga says:

    She has amazing norks.

  55. 55

    Angela is only interested in naked politics, without Y-fronts!

  56. 56
    Stan the Bat says:

    Don’t you just want to spit in and smash that fat ugly face?

  57. 57
    leon says:

    you have a excellent blog the following! would you like to develop invite blogposts on my weblog?


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