August 22nd, 2013

Festivals Drug Free As Nation’s Youth Take Labour MP’s Advice

Or not. Shadow Home Office minister Diana Johnson is in full mum mode this morning, warning young revellers:

“Enjoy the music, but don’t play roulette with your health. My message is simple: if you’re going to a music festival enjoy the music and hope for some sun, but don’t risk your life with a pill.”

Clearly Diana doesn’t want anyone to experience anything more exciting than Tom Watson’s “fragmentary moments of pure music joy in a field in Glastonbury falling in love with a bloke barely in his twenties playing the guitar like a mid-west cyclone”. Wonder what she thinks about votes for 16-year-olds…


32 Comments

  1. 1
    Len McClusterfuck says:

    We’re down with the kids, I’m a big Fresh Prince of Bel Air fan you know

    Like

    • 8
      Bad advice Geedo says:

      You are wrong Guido. Taking pills is just stupid. Besides the obvious risks of scrambling your brain and storing up health problems there is a very good chance that the pills may contain other impurities.

      Stick to beer or if you must then home grown cannabis.

      Like

    • 18
      Dontcha just love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning says:

      And please just remind me who it was who used to promote drug fuelled illegal raves up and down the country in his early adult years?

      Like

  2. 2
    mine's a pint says:

    My 16 year-old is en route to Reading.
    He’d say Fuck Off Granny.

    Like

  3. 3
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Labour will be warning 16 year olds about sexting.

    Like

  4. 4
    Piss house poet says:

    It wasn’t the Hun who done for the Brits,
    It was the nanny state and her smothering tits.

    Like

  5. 5
    Acieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed! says:

    Like

  6. 6
    Dianne Fatbott says:

    Go eeeeasy on the pies too..burp!!

    Like

  7. 7
    Not nick-nicked says:

    Now that plod say he won’t face any further action, we can all go back to hating Jim Davidson just for being a crap comic.

    Like

  8. 9
    Labour we are not the band we are the bandwagon says:

    Don’t be like us kids, we are hypocritical, racist, money wasters, liars, murderers and very loud mouthed.

    Like

  9. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Nor do I. Life is quite exiting enough for me.

    Adrenaline is all that I need. Try living a life, not taking time off from it.

    Like

  10. 13
    Diane Abbotapotumus says:

    Sugar pills are the worst.

    Like

  11. 14
    Diana Johnson says:

    Also avoid middle age lefties wearing round glasses and corduroy trousers offering to expand your mind.
    The only thing they want to expand is your vagina.

    Like

  12. 20
    Diane Abbott says:

    Like

  13. 23
    Mrs Brown says:

    As a youth my son Gordon went to a party and got drunk on house bricks.
    Be warned.

    Like

  14. 24
    Living in 97.223% white Merseyside says:

    Our Mathew Street Festival (now renamed Liverpool International Music Festival) over the Bank Holiday weekend usually brings 100,000’s in. Usually a great day out and I remember one year when there was only one arrest during the day.

    Pity it’s overshadowed by Notting Hill and Manchester Pride. I suppose it’s ignored by the media because the attendees are hideously white.

    Like

  15. 28
    WobblyJim says:

    She’s correctly warning against PILLS and quite right too.

    She’s said nowt about a bit of puff !

    Go for it revellers.

    Like


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Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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