August 20th, 2013

SamCam Gets Her Tat Out

Dave has ditched the Alan Partridge footwear for sandals and gone for a nautical navy number as he takes another holiday, this time to a beach cafe in Cornwall. The PM might be recovering from a bad back but it is he who is offering support to his better half in this picture. Blue skies mean a blue top and shorts for SamCam. No dolphins in shot as we look out onto the shore, other than the one on Samantha’s ankle of course…

Via @BBCCornwall

220 Comments

  1. 1
    Cabbage says:

    Good God! Is there nothing more important out there than this?

  2. 2
    M102 says:

    Tattooed ankle = rough.

  3. 3
    James Delingpole says:

    A nice pair of legs though!

  4. 4
    Owen Jones says:

    ME ME ME

  5. 5
    Engineer says:

    SamCam’s are not bad, either.

  6. 6
    spanows says:

    sure it’s not a bruise?

  7. 7
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Well it’s a nice family-friendly antidote to the perverted tale of UKIP’s Delingpole hoping to slide his pork sword up the chocolate tunnel of a Belgian tranny.

  8. 8
    Engineer says:

    Erm – Egypt, fracking, Guardian journalist has same-sex partner…..

    No.

  9. 9
    Chucky Obama Harrison Umunna says:

    Trashy

  10. 10
    The only way is Sussex says:

    Oi! We’ve taken a lot of trouble to dress up as clowns and carry badly made protest signs and learn bits of the ‘Gasland’ bible to quote to the meeja…

    And all you lot care about is Sam’s legs.
    THE FUTURE OF THE WORLD IS AT STAKE PEOPLE!
    Just one more shale gas exploratory and the world will crack in half…its TRUE.
    .I READ IT ON THE INTERNET ON A NON PEER REVIEWED HOKUM SCIENCE PAGE WITH ‘TRUTH’ IN THE TITLE…So it is true.

  11. 11
    The only way is Sussex says:

    Is it a dolphin? They are nature’s postmen.

  12. 12
    Read Lable B4 complaining says:

    Probably is but this is a blog about tittle tattle. If you want serious stuff then go to Mumsnet.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    PEER REVIEWED Ha ha ha

    You still cling to your security blanket.

  14. 14
    Fish says:

    The wankers whining about Miranda and press freedom are the same one who were backing Leveson to shackle a free press in the UK, bringing it under state control.

    The same ones happy to see News International journalists dragged from their beds, arrested in front of their families and have their Kids tech gear taken away.

    Has the left’s inbuilt hypocrisy just gone critical?

  15. 15
    Silk Cut says:

    Is that a packet of fags in his pocket?

  16. 16
    Fish says:

    Nice bum too!

  17. 17
    Janus says:

    We always face both ways at once. Its easy to do if you are in two minds. And have two faces.

  18. 18
    Outside the Common Purpose fantasy land says:

    Please don’t shout. It’s impolite.

  19. 19
    Django says:

    Didn’t Churchill also have the tattoo of a dolphin on his shoulder?

  20. 20
    Bongoland says:

    No, it’s his big fat taxpayer-funded wallet.

  21. 21
    The only way is Sussex says:

    FRACKING CAUSES BAD BREATH…EVERYONE KNOWS IT YET THE GUMMINT WON’T LISTEN TO US SO WE HAVE NO OPTION BUT TO BURN DOWN LONDON!

  22. 22
    Jess The Dog says:

    Does that fucker ever actually do any work?

  23. 23
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Studies reviewed by those who bought their peerages, do you mean?

  24. 24
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Samantha? Or Dave?

  25. 25
    UKIP Spokesman (not a poofter) says:

    I think it’s a work of fiction. There is no such country as Belgium

  26. 26
    Bill Quango MP x says:

    Samantha? Or Dave?

  27. 27
    Bongoland says:

    I think it was an anchor. His mum had a snake tattooed on her wrist.

  28. 28
    Herman Van Rompersuit says:

    Correct. We are all citizens of Europe now.

  29. 29
    Luvvies delegation says:

    No he leaves that to Stephen Fry. But Ed does do the same with Hugh Grant.

  30. 30
    Percy says:

    No, no, no.

  31. 31
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    A better question would be, Why are you looking at HIS bum when you’ve got the lovely Samantha’s on display?

    As posteriors go, I’ve seen better and worse…but hey, it’s there, so take what enjoyment you can when you can have it. Better than a poke in the eye with the sharp end of a stick, at any rate.

  32. 32
    Owen Jones says:

    Why Have I not been mentioned yet?

    ME ME ME

  33. 33
    Chrissie Bryant says:

    Any chance of a poke up the arse with a big throbbing todger?

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    I wish he would stop. All his tinkering is just a distraction crime.

  35. 35
    Percy says:

    Who really cares, London had one great fire that got rid of a lot of vermin and checked the plague, maybe the HoC might then move out of Londonistan

  36. 36
    99% of the Metropolitan politico/meejah bubble says:

    A man and a woman together? Urrgghh…

  37. 37
    Mrs Jones says:

    Do you want beans with your fish fingers? Or I’ve got some of those crispy potato hash brown thingies with the smiley faces?

  38. 38
    P l e b says:

    Mr. Rushbridger has done more than what Mr. Snowden and Mr. Greenwald could do. He has illuminated the very core of the dark dungeon of what is known as “democracy” under monopoly capitalism. President Eisenhower’s prophecy and warning is a stark reality now

  39. 39
    Percy says:

    You mean those who made very large donations to Cons, Labs and the LibDems well that would certainly reduce the number of knobs in the HoL bring in voting on a proportional basis to all those who are Lords of all typesand limit the membership to 500 still too many but it’s a start.

  40. 40
    The only way is Sussex says:

    WHO CARES? WE CARE..WE ARE THE RIGHTEOUS AND THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE TRUTH. ALL THE ACTUAL EVIDENCE FROM LIKE,YOU KNOW, COUNTRIES THAT HAVE FRACKING IS LIES.
    {Except where it agrees with environmental concerns..then its the truth…}

    BUT ANYTHING THAT CONTRADICTS MY OWN MADE UP SCIENCEY GEOLOGYICALOGICY THEORIES IS A BIG FAT PETRO DOLLAR PAID FOR LIE!!!

    ARTS STUDENTS HAVE AS MUCH RIGHT TO MAKE UP ENGINEERING METALLURGICAL THEORIES AS SCIENCE DWEEBS! ITS EQUALITY!

  41. 41
    The BBC says:

    Now where did we put all the facts and proof about the David Miranda story? Rusbridger must have all the facts and proof. Ah well it’s not stopped us before.

  42. 42
    Guardian lies says:

    FFS P L E B.
    A journalist was carrying stolen data and was arrested and released instead of imprisoned as he should have been. Or at least extradited to the USA from where the data was nicked.

    Read the NY Times story- its online. See where the Grun leaves out the little details. the tiny, tiny insignificant fact that he was a courier for his journo husband.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    I am sorry but this is democracy. We put these people in charge and get a chance in 5 years to show our appreciation.

    This allows us to concentrate on making money.

    However, it has a catch, at the end of the five years we are given a choice between equally incompetent jokers, and can not help ourselves but to give them another chance. The voters must learn their lessons, no more chancers.

  44. 44
    Percy says:

    Oh, those poor, poor journos it makes you want weep buckets over them, why are they having to use their kids computers, can’t News UK afford to buy them one?

  45. 45
    Percy says:

    No wonder the poor lad is in the state he is in eating that muck

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Sidoarjo, Deepwater Horizon, Piper Alpha, Tengiz field, KS Endeavor …

  47. 47
    jezus wept says:

    this is more intresting and less fashion-oriented –

  48. 48
    anon. says:

    Guido can you put a link to Louise Mensch’s blog in the Telegraph which details all the lies told by the Guardian and its journalists yesterday.

  49. 49
    Owen Jones says:

    As soon as I’ve finished helping Mum dry the dishes, the People’s Revolutionary Council will meet.

    I have to tell you now, it’ll be hard to resist the calls for direct action, or direkte aktion as we say in international socialist circles.

  50. 50
    RomaBob says:

    Just gotta love the Beeb, running with this non-story first….

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23769324

  51. 51
    RomaBob says:

    Why do all these gay lefties have young Brazilian boyfriends?

  52. 52
    RomaBob says:

    The Beeb is useless and the Grauniad is sh*t……. any links between the two?

    Just wondering :)

  53. 53
    leanne says:

    Iz u dissin uz singel muvvas??? we doent get enuf benefits – tory scum are screwin uz like all the farthers of my babiez

  54. 54
    Jerry says:

    I know, it’s totally ageist and racist!

  55. 55
    Jerry says:

    Thought you’d fucked off to Barcelona to get fucked in the arse Owen?

  56. 56
    Jerry says:

    In case you missed it, here’s Mensch ripping the Biased BBC a new one on Newsnight last night. :)

  57. 57
    Yvette Cooper says:

    Please forget I was here. Or, indeed, anywhere else. I don’t want to be seen in public until Ed is deposed…

  58. 58
    Cowell Ission says:

    Call Me Dave is a revenge merchant. He believes in Tit for Tat!

  59. 59
    Jerry says:

    1:50 in if you have ADHD.

  60. 60
    Fish says:

    OK, OK, keep your hair on…no need to repeat yourself. Sam of course. (I think)

  61. 61
    Fact Hunt says:

    Every year we go through the same palaver. Dave holidays here in the UK, Dave holidays there in the UK. FFS everyone knows the minute he’s no longer in politics he’ll holiday anywhere apart from the UK/Cornwall/Jura.

  62. 62
    Tat says:

    Nothing wrong with a bit of tit every now and then, besides at lease someone believes in me.

  63. 63
    Red Tat says:

    What is this? A fashion show? Leave Sam alone, she is nice. Unlike in yer faces, Mrs Bliar and Twitter twat Mrs Brown!

  64. 64
    broderick crawford says:

    ERCULE POIROT SAYS

    s’il vous plait , wash your mouth out monsieur !!!

  65. 65
    broderick crawford says:

    hey yvette

    we aint seen yah , right?

  66. 66
  67. 67
    RomaBob says:

    Aaaaaah an old Grauniad lefty journalist…… thanks…… no doubt they groom these young men for their own sexual gratification :)

  68. 68
    broderick crawford says:

    could have been worse — a navel jobbie .

    painful and dangerous that one .– so i hear.

  69. 69
  70. 70
    broderick crawford says:

    Cameron asked to describe back pain in minute detail

    DAVID Cameron has been asked to intricately describe the agony his bad back is causing him.

    After the prime minister’s painful back forced the cancellation of a hunting trip, the country leaned forward in its seat and asked him just how much it hurts.

    Bus driver Wayne Hayes said: “Can the PM say, for instance, whether it feels likes a hot, jagged piece of glass is being twisted between his vertebrae? Because I’d really, really like to know if it does.”

    Cameron’s injury has prompted the launch of a nationwide children’s painting competition, with a £10 book token for the best picture of his face contorted in blinding agony.

  71. 71
    Theresa June, Home Secretary says:

    I entirely support the illegal police detention of Miranda, which I approved in advance despite having nothing to do with it except for entirely agreeing with it.

    All police abuse must be supported.

    Soon I will be leader.

    I have no idea what I’m doing.

  72. 72
    The Nerdy Twins says:

    Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum.

  73. 73
    Lord Mandy-Pandy says:

    Finest rectums in the world, and their nuts are tasty too.

  74. 74
    michaelmph says:

    Does Cameron shave his legs?

  75. 75
    Di Ann Fattbutt says:

    Hush Chuks, I have a “W” on each buttock

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Shame she sports a tramp stamp. Must have been drunk once in her youth.

  77. 77
    Bernard Hyphen-Howe says:

    You and me, babe. Call me…Grrrr!

  78. 78
    Dave flopsy bunny Cameron says:

    Wax darlinnnnng, wax

  79. 79
    The Philosopher-in-Residence says:

    Why, why, why?

  80. 80
    Edith Milliband says:

    Think Guido’s going after the Daily Fail readership, this is the “lifestyle” post

  81. 81
    The Arch Uranian says:

    Darling, we’re not interested in the names of all your corgis.

  82. 82
    Young Belgian says:

    Is that his disk I can see sticking out?

  83. 83
    Sam says:

    It’s just a bruise. His feet go all over the place in those sandals.

  84. 84
    another day another jerk off says:

    Where is tat now? Doing time for gross indecency no doubt.

  85. 85
    Scabby Sally says:

    He has to do a certain number of brown nosing posts per week, I would guess Guido was about to post a long list of one of his usual 1srael love poems when CCHQ mailed him the shots of the ultra vile Camerons to knock one out over. I mean Dave the fucking mong is bad enough but the inbred C.unt he married is absolute scum, from a long line of kid killing scum. One does fell there may be a god after she had that flid kid, and the downs ginger girl. All that inbreeding must have deformed her tubes. Good.

  86. 86
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    It had to be said, and lets just hope this is the start.

  87. 87
    Sit Petra% says:

    I can see The Sun [sic] has got to Guido.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    He posts as P l e b and Maqboul

  89. 89

    Unfortunately, my comment last night appears to have been moderated as I had invited all co-conspirators and sock puppets for a drink at the Grosvenor House Hotel, room 310. No one turned up. Never mind. There is always next time…

    Very pleasant weather.

  90. 90
    M102 says:

    I thought B!lly would have been around today, especially after that post about the Belgian tranny and now this one about CMD’s arse.

  91. 91
    Sit Petra% says:

    I have a suspicion that all the ‘co-conspirators’ are really the same person (apart from me), Am I paranoid?.

  92. 92
    Handypara says:

    +60,000,000

  93. 93
  94. 94
    Gonk says:

    Everything about the Conservative party now becomes very clear.

  95. 95
    The People's Revolutionary Council says:

    We’re waiting in the tree house Owen, you bring the pop and pull the ladder up after you as you’re last. Did you remember the jammy dodgers?

  96. 96
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Perhaps I wasn’t clear. It was the lovely Samantha’s hindquarters which I was “praising,” by saying it’s better that a glimpse of her tush should hit my eye than should a pointed stick do.

    But ask Dave about that “todger” bit– hey, ya never know. He might go for such a thing. He might even go for the poke in the eye with the sharp end of a stick, for aught I know, or for that matter, for the good goddamn I cannot be “arsed” to give.

  97. 97
    Gonk says:

    A relaunch beckons

  98. 98
    To Gaily Go says:

    You are one vile person. Sick mind.

  99. 99
    Fish says:

    Ah. Grab-a-granny night at the Rex. I remember it well.

  100. 100
    Vote Conservative, get LimpDums says:

    Are you sure? I thought he was dead in a ditch long ago.

    Just bones by now.

  101. 101
    Bill Stickers says:

    Channel 4 musl!ms/ BBC*unts/ Grauniad still obsessing about the puff Miranda. FFS, move on.

  102. 102
    Ctesibius says:

    There seems to be some confusion as to which of these ‘gentle men’ is the husband and which the wife. Since Mr. Miranda is usually described as the ‘husband’ I can only assume that he is the ‘donor’, while the Guardian scribbler bites the pillow and takes it up the Hershey Highway. Which is rather appropriate if not terribly romantic.

  103. 103
    Vote Conservative, get LimpDums says:

    It has been an ongoing hypothesis for quite some time, though.

    Only three people post to this blog, and two of them are me.

  104. 104
    Egypto Army Rules OK says:

    We understand your internal “defences” need, eeeerrr… strengthening(?). Too many homos, gypo invaders and greenie saboteurs. We believe we are the men for the task, to put some backbone into Greatest Britain.

  105. 105
    fruitcake says:

    You’re not me, neither is he….oh never mind the trolls won’t believe it

  106. 106
    fruitcake says:

    Belgian? Are you sure?

  107. 107
    SamCam says:

    Guido, you’ll know this, is it possible to slip a disc fucking a rentboy?

  108. 108
    Sit Petra% says:

    Do they still use Sultanas in the mix?.

  109. 109
    Loopy Lou LLB (hons) says:

    But if it is true Cameron’s lot got the Grauniad to destroy evidence which might be relevant to any possible criminal trial that looks like a case of perverting the course of justice.

  110. 110
    Pick litter for bennies says:

    SC,are you in the leftie paradise of France or back in the wanabe leftie paradise of UK?.Don,t forget if you and the unions want the same level of living here you need to pay with the Great grandchildrens credit card.Or are you an honest taxpayer enoying your just rewards and winding us up?.

  111. 111
    Bill Stickers says:

    Well the concept of “justice” is always lacking in the UK. Every quango and the like are just there to fob off. What a laugh. The state needs to be kept safe and the tears of a couple of benders is nowhere in the scale. I trust you know the common concept of LLB…legal lying b..tards.

  112. 112
    Bollocks says:

    He leaves it all to Ed Milimong.

  113. 113
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    HHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP !!!

  114. 114
    David Cameron Is A Cunt says:

    Please, get some therapy!

    Anyone filled with as much mindless hatred , misogyny, and racism as you is clearly seriously mentally ill and in need of professional help.

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    What about the 3 of us. Don’t we count?

  116. 116
    Sit Petra% says:

    Lib/Dem also known as kiddy fiddlers are ‘us’.

  117. 117
    Anonymous says:

    I see you are acquainted with the core reason for our countries failure. A small recording device helps them to come to terms with their arrogance.

  118. 118
    Diane Fatbott says:

    PLEASE SIGN MY PETITION…….

  119. 119
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:

    I’ve never met this man before in my life – honest.

  120. 120
    Kojak says:

    Psycho on the loose! Psycho on the loose

  121. 121
    Guido's on Holiday too! says:

    This was written by his less than competent SPAD.

  122. 122
    Kojak says:

    Which Ed?

  123. 123
    Beowulff says:

    Where are the rest of the LibLabCons to provide this sort of information and rebuttal, together with a much appreciated sense of disgust and disbelief.

    Trouble is, although many of us on this site recognise the BBC as a perfect pervertor of truth, most of the rest of the nation take its output as gospel. They know no better. Goebbels was nowhere near as sophisticated as the BBC.

    Louise Mensch for PM.

  124. 124
    Sit Petra% says:

    Anybody still under the delusion that a Labour politicians main concern is not that of chasing Mammon for personal gain?.

  125. 125
    Jerry says:

    Too late she’s spent it all on a ‘Big Mama Super Special’!
    That’s a 240 liter wheelie bin brimmed with lashings of chicken rice and pea in hot spicy Caribbean sauce to you and me.

  126. 126
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Those Mole-Grips are fascinating aren’t they, dear? My Reg clamped a pair on his spindle when he was too poor to buy a genuine lever.
    His little BSA ran just as awkwardly thereafter.

  127. 127
    Sit Petra% says:

    Shadow health secretary (Lol), cast a big shadow!.

  128. 128
    Owen Jones says:

    I told you I was off the Barcelona but really I sneaked off to RT studios to wank on out the up and coming revolution and salivate over Max Keiser’s bulging cock.

  129. 129
    Owen's Mum says:

    Sorry everyone, Owen had too much jelly for tea and went to bed early with a sore tummy.

    He says the revolution can start tomorrow instead.

  130. 130
    Owen Jokes says:

    THE TRUTH ABOUT STATE HAND-OUTS…..UNDER LABOUR, THEY CREATED A CLIENT STATE AND TRAPPED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS ON BENEFITS

    Why are these figures interesting? A country with a welfare state will naturally redistribute by providing money and services to the less well-off. But what this shows is that even in the good years, the last government was increasing spending on middle-income households without corresponding increases in their tax burden. Naturally, over time, people become accustomed to these provisions, making it a) very difficult for governments to row back on their ‘promises’, b) making it very easy for people to demand that others pay for their provisions.

  131. 131
    Sit Petra% says:

    Be serious you don’t really think anybody is going to play that video post of 13 minutes and 57 seconds of Owen Jones, I would rather seal myself in a pit of my own filth (hat tip to monty python).

  132. 132
    S'Il Li Zi-song says:

    If you’re bored, watch this little nugget:

  133. 133
  134. 134
  135. 135
    albacore says:

    Looks more like Sam supports Cameron
    And he don’t arf need her to lean on
    Head bowed and plodding glumly along
    Wondering what else he can get wrong

  136. 136
    Sit Petra% says:

    Nice pair of arse cheeks
    Missing for a few weeks
    (Muse in progress).

  137. 137
    Bill Stickers says:

    BBC 10pm …Miranda, blah blah, destoy, blah blah, computer, shock, horror. Benders get computer broken, blah. Yes, we do not have a noddy central control, we are an alert modern state. Move on simpletons.

  138. 138
    P l e b says:

    FYI I post only as Pleb. I am not tat or maqboul.
    Cheerio.

  139. 139
    Willie Vague says:

    i usually get it wrong, don`t I? Dictators are the future for musl!mland, now where`s that Mr Sadam`s phone number..

  140. 140
    Hugh Mungus says:

    Granny for sale! Powered by tea, can carry up to five times her own weight in fracked gas..

  141. 141
    Liason 9 says:

    Was that Derbyshire on Newsnight?
    makeup have done a good job there. Her beard is usually bushier than Paxman’s.

  142. 142
    Ed shhhhh Balls says:

    You ain’t seen me… 5 weeks now, isn’t it.
    Call me when another egg hits the target and I’ll give a supportive tweet.

    ” ed Miliband is doing the best he can. It’s a difficult job he has. And he really is trying his hardest to make a go of it. I fully support his attempt to make himself grow into a role for which he had scant experience or ability.”

    Something like that?

  143. 143
    Tess Tickle says:

    Isn’t a clegg one of those bits of shit you see stuck to a sheeps arse? Or did my head just make that up?

  144. 144
    Christian Anony says:

    Is it possible we could have a world musl!m news blackout for a month like Channel 4`s ramdingdong homage in reverse. Bulletins would be cut by two thirds.

  145. 145
    Just for balance says:

    Prior to the 2008 banking crash our debt to GDP was very low. While Labour admits that it should have regulated the banks more strongly two people disagreed with their regulation at the time. George Osborne and David Cameron both called for less banking regulation.

    In 2010 when Labour left office, despite a huge banking crisis the economy was growing. George killed the growth and utterly failed to deal with our deficit.

    Just before the Irish economy collapsed George declared it an example to learn from. It is pleasing to see he has learnt from it creating his very own state sponsored unsustainable housing bubble – dubbed the most stupid economic policy in history. As a result of this George has loaded 100 billion of toxic debt onto our balance sheet.

    Labour had their faults, but compared to these muppets they were economic geniuses

  146. 146
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Hi Yvette. That is you in the dark glasses and the balaclava wishing that all the Eds would just disappear isn’t it?

  147. 147
    Owen's Mummy says:

    Bed, bed bed.

  148. 148
    Anonymous says:

    I sense Scabby is just winding you PC mongs up. LOL!
    (Sorry if lol is no longer cool)

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    You are a sick sad fuck.

  150. 150
    OWEN (FELCHER) JONES says:

    Who is that frat boy, looks a bit bent to me, I bet he indulged in some ritualistic fisting when we went t’ boarding school.

  151. 151
    Ed suckz balls says:

    How did you know Felch? Do you know about me too?????

  152. 152
    Bollocks says:

    Fuck me Chukka Obama is on Newsnight again. He really does love himself. What a Mong.

  153. 153
    Schizo says:

    And the two of us?

  154. 154
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

  155. 155
    Labour are hiding says:

    2/10 for trolling. You know you really need to come up with original lines particularly given the mental one increased the debt by almost 50% just to get 0.8% growth simply to perpetuate the Le of green shoots.

    Carry on

  156. 156
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    Nice buns

  157. 157
    Klingons on the starboard bow starboard bow says:

    Clingon

  158. 158
    Klingons on the starboard bow starboard bow says:

    Might be a taffy of course

  159. 159
    David Cameron's Hairy Hoover says:
    Haaaaaaaiiiiiirrrrrrrrryyyyy, Hoooooooooooovvvvverrrrrrrrrr,
    
        A hullabalooo about a tattoo ?
          But the drum beat is hammering 
                    on the genital sentinels of Farringdon,
       Bish bash, smashety smash, 
                   Fuck you Guardian ! And love you too !
    
      London, schmundon, currency dungeon ? 
                 Thy bond a weasel word,
             The biggest prick on Threadneedle Street 
               prepares to r@pe the old lady and Crown. 
                       An agent ousted, 
                       And assassination outed ?
         The house lads in white breeches outgrown, 
                   should fuck harder for Saturn, scum.
    
             But Focus:
    
      An ankle dolphin, clearly not on the square, or of it,
          Eros and Bacchus, a cute brew indeed,
        As Dave prepares for nemesis, 
              Screwed by the red witch of Fleet street 
                        on the nail bed of Europe,
          Bleed little piggy, under the c'unt of truth,
          Squeal little piggy, as she squeezes you,
          Quiet little piggy, and clean up, you're done !
      
      Mong.
    
    Haaaaaaaiiiiiirrrrrrrrryyyyy, Hoooooooooooovvvvverrrrrrrrrr.
    
    
    
  160. 160
    Simon B says:

    Well, for a start, it’s far more important and news-worthy than the traitorous and seditious material being published by the enemies within over at the Graun.

  161. 161
    Ed shhhhh Balls says:

    I agree. Labour are super.

  162. 162
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Meanwhile largely unreported nationally down on the south coast at Bournemouth Ian Finlay Bournemouth Borough Councils Lead officer for online safety for children was given the slapped wrist [not imprisoned – can you believe it] treatment last Friday by Judge Samuel Wiggs who uttered “There is no public interest in sending you immediately to prison” …

    And Tobias Ellwood MP has written to the Attorney General to complain about it.

    Wiggs – is a two faced fucking bastard.

  163. 163
    Point of information 4 says:

    Diane needs exercise, that is a fact.

    But in that photo she looks like she needs to be exorcised as well.

    Is it mandatory for Labour Health people, shadow or otherwise to be possessed by Satan or one of his more vicious little demons ?

    Possible explanation for Burnham et al. murder spree on the NHS also.

  164. 164
    Liaison 9 says:

    Just imagine the sound of a baby wailing. That’s the gist of it.

    I expect. I haven’t watched it either. But if you’ve seen one self important lefty know nothing babble away you’ve seen them all.

  165. 165
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    What a lovely film, dear. So uplifting. I found, by screwing my eyeballs down, that both ‘doctor’ and ‘patient’ bore a passing resemblance to Ed Miliband.

  166. 166
    Blowing Whistles says:

    P.s. I have noted the most significant comment that I posted last night about Caroline Lucas and of her credibility – was significantly DELETED … Who done that and I do not believe it was guido?

    Th state are fucked, fucked, fucked. Bring on a Miltiary Coup – about bloody time we had one here to rid us of all the criminals atop the system.

  167. 167
    The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

    Let me guess, SS. You were at the anti-frackjng demo? Right?

  168. 168
    Fish says:

    Was just allowed to repeat what he has been saying all week;

    Squeezed middle
    Oxford English Dictionary
    Rail fares
    Energy rip-off
    Zero Hours
    Living standards

  169. 169
    Paxmong's Beard (no relation to Mary) says:

    Even toilets Maguire was taking the piss out of Chukkus your money last night on Sky News.

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    Assuming you could get rid of just one group which would you go for first:

    1. The judges
    2. The politicians
    3. The councils
    4. The teachers

    What group’s removal would give the country the best chance of a future?

  171. 171
    The real P l e b says:

    You lying sod!

  172. 172
    Lloyd George Expelled My Father From UKIP says:

    Don’t forget about me (even though I’ve never posted before).

  173. 173
    Blowing Weasels says:

    Just as long as he doesn’t touch the weasels.

  174. 174
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Hey let’s play Cricket – did you know that the England Cricket team are sponsored by Brit Insurance and that they don’t like paying out when there’s a lawful and legal claim put in against them – ESPECIALLY IN SCOTLAND?

    There are trying to claim that they are not covered under scottish jurisdiction while of course they were delighted and happy to take the premiums.

    They were ‘caught out’, ‘Leg’gers [left] before wicket recently, when their legal representative was pitched a googly. Duplicitous usury practicing bastards.

  175. 175
    A Sceptical Observer says:

    Oooohhh! Sweetie-pie! I reckon you’re not blowing whistles at all. I reckon you’ve never blown one single whistle in your entire life. I think you’re probably not physically capable of blowing whistles. You probably don’t even know what whistles are. You’re just pretending you know all about whistles, in order to seem big and grown-up. And everyone else humours you because they can see how pathetically vulnerable you are, with your total lack of whistle-related knowledge/experience.

  176. 176
    Jimmy says:

    Not quite what I had in mind when I said I wanted to see the back of David Cameron…

  177. 177
    Tachybaptus says:

    No, a cleg(g) is a horsefly, a severely irritating creature. The bit of shit stuck to a sheep’s arse is a dag, dirty but harmless.

  178. 178
    A very easily amused person says:

    Oh ho ho ho, ah ha ha ha, ee hehehehehehe hee [pisses himself].

  179. 179
    Tachybaptus says:

    We’ve seen this before. Doesn’t improve with repetition.

  180. 180
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    We all feel exactly the same about your goodself.

  181. 181
    Joss Taskin says:

    Is that why they want to lower the voting age to 5 ?

  182. 182
    The BBC are cunts says:

    We’ll be coming round with the detector vans soon, so pay your Telly Tax.

  183. 183
    "Balls," said the Queen... says:

    Be a helluva thing if Balls comes back trimmer having lost a coupla stone. And not always looking as if he’s about to have a stroke.

    Gotta work on that public image, you know. As long as he’s at it, can he change that hair style of his, which fools nobody into thinking he hasn’t got a Nixon hairline? Either that, or go the full Adolf. (Ermm, he may not want to do the latter, for obvious reasons, my bad.)

    If you want to be the next PM (Oooh, did I say that out loud?) you really orta look the part better than he does. No time like the Summer Holidays to work on it.

  184. 184
    Anonymous says:

    OJ appears to be wearing jeans – what a scruff. I guess he’s getting ready to jet off on his jollies.

    I couldn’t bring myself to watch the clip in its entirety. (131) & (162) below are absolutely spot on.

  185. 185
    Anonymous says:

    pretty unpleasant and quite an allegation in there.

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    councils

  187. 187
    S.B.S. says:

    Pictured from the back,
    I still see no backbone.

  188. 188
    Rock-a-bye Baby says:

  189. 189
    How's about that, then? says:

  190. 190
    Mong Watch says:

    So according to the mail it looks like the big guns were sent out to deal with the Guardian.

    What on earth were they mixed up in ?

    Or is this a desperate attempt to spin a serious situation which some could consider to be an attack on the press by the state and an abuse of terror legislation into something that makes it look like Cameron is a leader ?

    Dave hasn’t screwed something up for a few weeks, so I guess we are due another PR cluster fuck about now…

  191. 191

    There is another problem here which I am sure you will see. If we are really the only two posters here, then one of us must be 8illy. I know that I am not he, therefore… :-)

  192. 192

    Unravelling the issues:

    1. I am in the UK for the first time in fifteen months.

    2. I do not believe in debt for individuals, public bodies or businesses unless there is a valid reason for the expenditure and a clear plan for the repayment.

    3. I believe I am fundamentally honest but not stupidly so. But that is for others to judge.

    4. I am a believer in Lord Clyde’s dictum on the amount of taxes that a citizen should pay.*

    5. There is no need for me to wind other people up when they can do the job perfectly well for themselves!

    * No man is under the smallest obligation, moral or other, to arrange his legal relations to his business or to his property so as to enable the Inland Revenue to put the largest shovel into his stores. The Inland Revenue is not slow – and quite rightly so – to take every advantage which is open to it under the taxing statutes for the purpose of depleting the taxpayer’s pocket. And the taxpayer is in like manner entitled to be as astute to prevent as far as he honestly can, the depletion of his means by the Inland Revenue.

  193. 193
    Gonk says:

    Politicians

  194. 194
    Gonk says:

    He’s a steroid rage alternative.

  195. 195
    Their silence is deafening says:

    Be fair…..He seems to be the only member of the shadow Cabinet actually still around as all the other fuckers seem to have disappeared or taken a vow of silence. Perhaps they’re all busy plotting a coup to take over the leadership from “Ed” ??

  196. 196
    fruitcake says:

    Oh yes, and I’m not 8illy either

  197. 197
    Has Camoron resigned yet? says:

    “Dave hasn’t screwed something up for a few weeks”

    His limp-wristed response to Spain’s mistreatment of Gibraltar and his total inability to get the EU to shift its lazy arse can only be described as a cock-up.

  198. 198
    The tit soon to be booted out of no. 10 says:

    Look, you plebs, it’s simple – I have to terrorise you all in order to protect my arse you from terrorists. Got it ?

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/10255767/David-Cameron-accused-of-sanctioning-detention-of-Guardian-journalists-partner-David-Miranda.html

  199. 199
    A.A. Milne says:

    People who listen to the Archers.

  200. 200
    Lying Labour says:

    Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis,

  201. 201
    Biased BBC says:

    Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis, Cost of living crisis,

  202. 202
    Stephen Fry, National Treasure says:

    Yes. I would advise Dave to avoid lifting heavy shirts too.

  203. 203
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

    Shout louder, Ed. LOUDER !!!!

    (I’m not after your job – honest….)

  204. 204
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    I suppose the next big story will be Dave either munching into a cornish pastie or licking an ice cream.

    Meanwhile even the German Ironside is saying that the Greeks will need another bailout.

    This is going to cost us all.

  205. 205
    Diane Fatbott says:

    He’s sleeping in a blatantly racist manner!

  206. 206
    Ed Bollocks says:

    This recovery is too far too fast.

  207. 207
    Del Boy says:

    A cost of living crisis?

    You are talking a load of old cobblers.

    If you aren’t happy get out there and get a better job or even try to make a few extra bob for yourself.

    You do not want to be living your life in a crisis?

  208. 208
    Chukkle Brother (Resident Newsnight Commentator) says:

    Ed, I want your job.

  209. 209
    Countdown says:

    623 days to go before the gay loving spendthrift Dave is ejected from No.10.

  210. 210
    Alex Salmond, formerly the cleverest man in politics says:

    Not in Scotland, laddie! My fawning to the EU and imposition of a failed Socialist ideology will ensure 100,000s more will join the client state to join me in voting ‘yes’ for welfare handouts in 2014.

  211. 211
    JH3942859230923-4 says:

    Yes, it’s almost as if a certain party got in for 13 years, and promptly encouraged a credit bubble in order to boost house prices so people feel notionally rich and set about borrowing against the supposed increased ‘value’ of a box of bricks.

    Now that an entire generation has been priced out of buying a basic house for 7 years, and are forced to pay rents which have also been forced up by that same party being hell-bent on changing the cultural makeup of the country by holding the gates open, which also forced wages down.

    Low interest rates punish savers and encourage gambling on the housing ‘market’, forcing prices up more.

    And here we are. People are expected to be happy about the single most expensive unavoidable cost of living going up, and having to work their asses off to afford a house next door to people who don’t work at all.

    C’nts. When this sucker unwinds, it will NOT be pretty.

  212. 212
    Bluebottle says:

    If the Government had not saved the Banks there would be plenty of houses on the market going cheap now.

  213. 213
    Xavier Onassis says:

    Love to see the “I love Dave” one on her bum!

  214. 214
    Deep in Stephfanny Flangers says:

    Cheeky

  215. 215
    .A Concerned Voter says:

    What part of Spain are they in?.

  216. 216
    broderick crawford says:

    ATOS rates Cameron fit for work

    His pained expression failed to convince
    DAVID Cameron has been assessed as ‘fit for work’ despite claims of crippling back pain.

    The prime minister has hit out at assessment agency ATOS, claiming that his phenomenally bad back has made running the country ‘impossible’.

    Cameron described how the constant nagging pain had left him unable to relax, stalk deer or grease up and bend over for lobbyists.

    He said: “How can I possibly negotiate energy exports with Vladimir Putin when I can’t even get the saddle on, let alone get down on all fours like a good horsey?

    “And less than 24 hours after I’m diagnosed the Obamas have got Nick Clegg drinking from my water dish and sleeping in my basket, almost like I never existed.

    “On a more positive note, I’ve discovered they have old Keith Floyd cookery programmes on telly in the day.”

    An ATOS spokesman said: “David Cameron was strapped to a gurney, only able to answer questions with tiny eye movements and communicated that he was in unbearable pain before soiling himself catastrophically.

    “According to both government ‘recommendations’, we rated him fully fit for heavy physical work as a dockside stevedore, Zumba instructor or, at a push, prime minister.

    “And besides, we’ve got video footage of him refereeing a polo match for a cash-in-hand payment last weekend.”

  217. 217
    Anonymous says:

    Squirm as much as you like, fucker.

    Mr Balance has stated the truth.

  218. 218
    Mary Whitehouse says:

    O god Cornwall , that means another chavy on the way just in time for an election boost . Its called doing the Tony Blair

  219. 219
    Jack the Ripper says:

    Re Dave’s bad back : I advise insertion of a spine.

  220. 220
    Peter Lily says:

    I know a couple of guys down Old Compton Street who have sniffed Chuka’s choccy starfish


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