August 20th, 2013

James Delingpole Tells of Gay Experience

It could all have been so different for UKIP’s once favourite windfarm-hater:

“I was 19 at the time, just out of school, still a virgin and, I suppose, mildly uncertain about my sexuality. It happened at a border crossing between Sudan and the Central African Republic.

Waiting interminably with my fellow overlanders to have our passports stamped by the inevitable corrupt customs officers, I spied across the other side of the grass hut one of the most exquisite creatures I have ever seen. Our eyes met and I was smitten.

I thought it was a girl at first, though I couldn’t be totally sure. She – or was it a he? – was travelling with a man old enough to be its father. God knows what their relationship was but they weren’t family. We got chatting. They were Belgian and I was the only one in our group who spoke reasonably fluent French.

Discovering that the pretty thing was male, I felt surprised and mildly guilty to realise that it didn’t stop me fancying him. There was an electricity between us. The older man – ruined, malarial – could see this and glowered jealously. It made me despise the older man and wish I could rescue my Tadzio from his sordid clutches. Lust didn’t come into it. (Well, not much.)

It was pure, romantic, all-consuming. As day turned to night (clearly, our border bribe hadn’t been enough), I began fantasising about our escape. My ephebe and I would run off and end up God knew where but it wouldn’t matter – the point was we would be together forever.”

A love story to melt the coldest icecaps…


207 Comments

  1. 1
    Nincompoop says:

    What possesses these people to write stuff like this…is it simply because they’ve run out of material and have a deadline to meet?

    Like

  2. 2
    El Presidento Pedro Scorchio says:

    Billy, get in there!

    Like

  3. 3
    Johan Hari says:

    I was 19 at the time, just out of school, still a virgin and, I suppose, mildly uncertain about my sexuality. It happened at a border crossing between Sudan and the Central African Republic.

    Waiting interminably with my fellow overlanders to have our passports stamped by the inevitable corrupt customs officers, I spied across the other side of the grass hut one of the most exquisite creatures I have ever seen. Our eyes met and I was smitten.

    I thought it was a girl at first, though I couldn’t be totally sure. She – or was it a he? – was travelling with a man old enough to be its father. God knows what their relationship was but they weren’t family. We got chatting. They were Belgian and I was the only one in our group who spoke reasonably fluent French.

    Discovering that the pretty thing was male, I felt surprised and mildly guilty to realise that it didn’t stop me fancying him. There was an electricity between us. The older man – ruined, malarial – could see this and glowered jealously. It made me despise the older man and wish I could rescue my Tadzio from his sordid clutches. Lust didn’t come into it. (Well, not much.)

    It was pure, romantic, all-consuming. As day turned to night (clearly, our border bribe hadn’t been enough), I began fantasising about our escape. My ephebe and I would run off and end up God knew where but it wouldn’t matter – the point was we would be together forever.

    Like

    • 25
      Andrew Rawnsley says:

      I was also 19 at the time, just out of school, still a virgin and, I suppose, mildly uncertain about my sexuality. It happened at a border crossing between Sudan and the Central African Republic.

      Waiting interminably with my fellow overlanders to have our passports stamped by the inevitable corrupt customs officers, I spied across the other side of the grass hut one of the most exquisite creatures I have ever seen. Our eyes met and I was smitten.

      I thought it was a girl at first, though I couldn’t be totally sure. She – or was it a he? – was travelling with a man old enough to be its father. God knows what their relationship was but they weren’t family. We got chatting. They were Belgian and I was the only one in our group who spoke reasonably fluent French.

      Discovering that the pretty thing was male, I felt surprised and mildly guilty to realise that it didn’t stop me fancying him. There was an electricity between us. The older man – ruined, malarial – could see this and glowered jealously. It made me despise the older man and wish I could rescue my Tadzio from his sordid clutches. Lust didn’t come into it. (Well, not much.)

      It was pure, romantic, all-consuming. As day turned to night (clearly, our border bribe hadn’t been enough), I began fantasising about our escape. My ephebe and I would run off and end up God knew where but it wouldn’t matter – the point was we would be together forever.

      Like

      • 35
        Gordon Brown {zero hours worked} MP says:

        I was 19 at the time. A girl I adored from afar was having a party. I mustered all my courage..Courage I would later write a book about.

        I approached her around midnight and she said

        “Fuck off you smelly, greasy haired tramp! And who brings bricks in a carrier bag to a poor student’s party? Stay away from me! Touch me again and I’ll jam this Tortilla chip into your eye..”

        Like

      • 41
        Johan H (Copy write right?) says:

        As I wrote in 2001,
        Johan Hari says:
        August 20, 2013 at 2:23 pm

        I was 19 at the time, just out of school, still a virgin and, I suppose, mildly uncertain about my sexuality. It happened at a border crossing between Sudan and the Central African Republic.

        Waiting interminably with my fellow overlanders to have our passports stamped by the inevitable corrupt customs officers, I spied across the other side of the grass hut one of the most exquisite creatures I have ever seen. Our eyes met and I was smitten.

        I thought it was a girl at first, though I couldn’t be totally sure. She – or was it a he? – was travelling with a man old enough to be its father. God knows what their relationship was but they weren’t family. We got chatting. They were Belgian and I was the only one in our group who spoke reasonably fluent French.

        Discovering that the pretty thing was male, I felt surprised and mildly guilty to realise that it didn’t stop me fancying him. There was an electricity between us. The older man – ruined, malarial – could see this and glowered jealously. It made me despise the older man and wish I could rescue my Tadzio from his sordid clutches. Lust didn’t come into it. (Well, not much.)

        It was pure, romantic, all-consuming. As day turned to night (clearly, our border bribe hadn’t been enough), I began fantasising about our escape. My ephebe and I would run off and end up God knew where but it wouldn’t matter – the point was we would be together forever.

        Like

      • 57
        Owen Jones says:

        It was 2004. I was nineteen. (I still look it, too.)

        A Labour Party worker told me that a certain higher-up had taken an interest in me and that I couldn’t go far wrong if I were to just let that gent have a bit of the old in-and-out.

        But believing in the Revolution as I do, I felt it was not a good idea to engage in such frivolity whilst there were still battles to be won. I would sacrifice my personal gratification and sublimate my energies into political struggle.

        Plus, the ugly fuck was old and smelly anyway.

        Like

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Who is James Delingpole?

    Like

  5. 6
    Ian E says:

    Right, good – now the Lefties will have to luv Delingpole and accept his views on, well, everything really. TaDa!

    Like

  6. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Bet the kid was under age as well. Nonce!

    Like

  7. 10
    Bazinga! says:

    God fucking help us all.

    Like

  8. 12

    Well written, believable, relatable even. Shame he didn’t write their manifesto

    Like

  9. 16
    James Delingpole, your waiter for tonight... says:

    Still, enough about me. Have you ever eaten at a Harvesters before?

    Like

  10. 17
    Wendy Bendy says:

    Is there any fucker out there who’s not had a gay experience (sic)?

    Like

    • 37
      Vote Conservative, get LimpDum says:

      I haven’t.

      Although, I’ve walked down the street behind a very attractive woman with long flowing hair, and I’ve been admiring her shapely derriere when she’s stopped and turned and I’ve realised it was a bloke. Does that count?

      That’s happened a couple of times. It really creeps me out.

      Like

      • 97
        Lycra ladies, phwooarrr! says:

        The male and female pelvis are different.
        Which is why shapely women walk like that.

        Like

    • 48
      Anonymous says:

      Why’s that? I’d wager upwards of 95% of men have never had a gay experience nor want one.

      Like

    • 93
      Percy says:

      There is a bit of a problem, 20% of men are homo sexual then there are others in a reducing level of homosexuality to totally heterosexual, that is why certain men who are homosexual get married and have children, maybe for career purposes, and there are men (who are not homosexual) who never marry and have no children. The same goes for females as well. If you are a man and not married or involved in a civil relationship (over the brush) it counts against you in obtaining a job. There the case of RC priests are they all homosexual, no! but it does cause problems as seen in a lot incidents coming to light.

      Like

      • 100
        Get Real says:

        Outside Westminster, Central London and Hampstead, it is nothing like 20%. More like 2%.

        Like

      • 113
        Bollox to exact numbers says:

        why not 19% or 21% ?

        Like

      • 126
        Living in 97.223% white Merseyside says:

        I learnt a new word on Youtube the other day.

        BROMANCE.

        Apparently a very close but non-sexual relationship between two men.

        Like

        • 144
          Lord Stansted says:

          It sounds like something used to clean the bath.

          Like

        • 162
          Tay King-dePisse says:

          “Right– if you say so, guv, mum’s the word, you’ll never hear me saying those two are poofters, don’t-ask-don’t-tell my watchword, y’know, and even if they were poofters (and I’m not saying they ARE poofy, mind), it were none of my business anyway what they do in private, which is not to imply that they ARE doing anything, and what would be so wrong if they did, I ask ya? Who are they hurting anyway? And what do I care who would be the Butch and who the Nellie– makes no difference to my life…”

          “Bromance” = “Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more…”

          Like

  11. 18
    So what. says:

    Delingpole can fuck off! No one is interested in his w@nk! Why share it with us?

    Like

  12. 21
    Jimmy says:

    “I suppose, mildly uncertain about my sexuality.”

    This is not credible. Deep down he must have already known he was a wanker.

    Like

    • 164
      anon. says:

      Takes one to know one, Jimmy. And judging by your comments on here, you have provided plenty of evidence over the years.

      Like

    • 188
      Anonymous says:

      Malvern College followed by Christ Church, Oxford. Yep, he was wondering if he preferred women.

      Like

  13. 24
    Right Full Rudder says:

    Oh well. He didn’t bum anyone and he doesn’t bleat on about his local vicar refusing to let him walk down the aisle with his buggering partner dressed as Lady Gaga.

    Like

  14. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Breaking News…

    Tadzio later changed his name to Ed Milliband and used to get turned on by his brother beating him up…

    Like

  15. 27
    That's the last time I'm going round to Keith Vaz's says:

    Like

    • 82
      Right Full Rudder says:

      I am a Kali worshipper and you have offended me. Please hand yourself in at the local police station for breaking the religious equality statute.

      Like

    • 107
      Carry Hole is a porcine homunculus says:

      I think that’s mid staffs NDS trust heart transplant unit

      Like

  16. 29
    Anonymous says:

    I will put him down as a queer then.

    Like

  17. 30
    Grandpa Joe says:

    In the old days a gay experience would be riding your bike on a sunny day and maybe stopping to pick strawberries.

    Like

  18. 33
    plantagenet says:

    What the hell

    Like

  19. 38
    Jeeeez says:

    All that guff to say that he fancied a shag.

    Like

  20. 40
    Mustaffa says:

    Of course I was angry,Tadzio was my favourite donkey.

    Like

  21. 43
    Gordon Brown {zero hours worked} MP says:

    Delling-POLE..
    POLE…like a cock!

    hehehehe! {snort}

    Like

    • 62
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      See, Gordon, you have to do something like saying “bazinga” so we know you’re trying to make a joke. The silly look on your face is not a giveaway in that connection, as you should be well aware of by now– at least we had hoped you would be…

      Like

  22. 46
    Call me Dave says:

    I’m not Gay, but have slept with a few boys who were.

    Like

  23. 51
    IMDB says:

    Close Encounters of the Turd Kind?

    Like

  24. 52
    IMDB says:

    Close Encounters…

    Like

  25. 58
    Ben Dover says:

    Pass me the sick bucket.

    Like

  26. 59
    James Delingpole - GAYBOY says:

    Q – So do they call you James the Author?

    JD – No

    Q – So do they call you James the Polemic writer

    JD – No

    Q – So do they call you James the Poltical savant

    JD – No …

    JD – but I thought about shagging a bloke once.

    Like

  27. 61
    Joss Taskin says:

    As he writes for the newspaper, I guess he’s known as Telegraph Pole ?

    Like

  28. 63
    John Prescott says:

    You can always tell the transvestites at a Labour party conference.
    They’re the best looking women in there.

    Like

  29. 68
    Vladimir Putin says:

    Come to Russia James, we will show you a pussy riot to change your mind.

    Like

  30. 69
    Brotherhood of Man says:

    Long ago.
    On the border between Bongo Bongo
    I saw a young man called Tadzio,

    Running away together,running away forever Tadzio.

    Like

  31. 72
    R. Spandit says:

    Oooooooh, James, come over to the dark ( Brown ) side.

    Like

  32. 80
    Truthteller says:

    I’m going to be sick, thanks for that.

    Like

  33. 81
    Jacqui Sevenbellies says:

    Like

  34. 85
    Sudanese Customs says:

    Sex tourism is so ugly

    Like

  35. 91
    Andrew Rawnsley Tweets and says:

    Exclusive: Guidogram going out shortly.

    Like

  36. 94
    Michael Portaloo says:

    I don’t see what the fuss is about.

    When I was a teenager, I regularly used to have homosexual experiences.

    Every Saturday evening, I’d settle down and watch the Generation Game with Larry Grayson.

    Like

    • 196
      Keith Burtons says:

      Michael you formed your preferences at university and purchased more of them from the youths of Morocco. Many a teenager in Casablanca has had your DNA leaking from his distended rear end.

      Like

  37. 95
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I always wondered who wrote the Silvie Krin stuff in Private Eye. Now we know.

    Like

  38. 99
    Leave it Owen, just enjoy your holiday says:

    Like

    • 103
      Ed Miliband says:

      Journalists of integrity should respond to your vacuous tweets by vowing to up their own scrutiny of the corruption at the heart of the UNITE union and its mouthpieces

      Like

    • 108
      Liason 9 says:

      He’s terrified that the state will come a knocking and arrest his partner.
      And it will be revealed that ‘Jason’ is really Jasmine and Jones isn’t a gayer at all.

      Street cred collapse from the bedwetting class.

      Like

    • 123
      Gooey Blob says:

      Excuse my language, but does Owen Jones actually realise that he sounds like a pretentious twat? Somebody ought to let him know…

      Like

    • 137
      Fish says:

      The thick twat doesn’t understand that the BBC, The Guardian, Hacked Off and all of their Common Purpose clique have unleashed a media regulation boomerang called Leveson that will hold them to the same level of scrutiny.

      Welcome to the early morning knock on the door,, Jones

      Like

    • 193
      Lurcio says:

      Up your own, Owen.

      Like

  39. 106
    dai laughing says:

    more ugandan discussions?

    Like

  40. 109
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I always quite fancied that Winona Ryder.
    Its probably not a gaymaker but certainly close.

    Like

  41. 115
    Paxmong's Beard (no relation to Mary) says:

    Some ex plod had just been on the BBC complaining that as a result of this stunt with he Guardian hack’s boyfriend that the detention time is going from 9 hours to 6 and his plod mates are not happy.

    Well whose fucking fault is that plod? If you stopped acting like dildos for politicians you wouldn’t get in this mess.

    A plod should have told Obumma and Campermong to get fucked and that they will not be the dildo for this government like they were for that cuunt Bliar.

    If any fat plods read this blog here’s a tip. Why don’t you get back to nicking fucking terrorists and other scum? Here’s a tip, look for the mongs with the big beards who pray to a kiddle fiddler and tend to travel from certain parts of the world and YOU know where that is.

    Like

    • 117
      The Plod says:

      Look we would be very happy simply getting morbidly obese sitting on our fat arses watching a Twitter feed than investigate proper stuff. But every now and again we have to justify our very large pensions and the fact we can retire at 50.

      Like

    • 118
      Shami Shak Ra Barti says:

      Oh yes racial profiling.

      Racist thug.

      Like

    • 140
      Fish says:

      The Government had already put in place the arrangements to replace LABOUR’S nine hours with six

      Like

  42. 124
    Bullkok says:

    Another arsehole choking on his own cock!

    Like

  43. 125
    Andrew Efiong says:

    A UKIP member caught in a homo clinch with a Belgium trans-sexual!

    You can’t make it up!

    Like

    • 129
      Vote Conservative, get LimpDum says:

      At “the border crossing between Sudan and the Central African Republic”.

      I’d have had trouble making that one up, but if I had I’d have thrown in a few camels for good measure.

      Like

  44. 128
  45. 133

    Not whilst there are still dogs on the street…

    Like

  46. 138
    Confused says:

    So the moral of this story is ?

    Like

    • 145
      Too Late Now. His good reutation has gone forever. says:

      Don’t file a story when you are pissed.

      Like

      • 147
        Confused says:

        Yes.

        Still trying to figure where the lusting after a person of uncertain background / gender at a border crossing in some third world sh!t hole really fits into the cannon of stuff that should be mentioned to anyone except your defence lawyer.

        C’est la vie – And who said Cameron’s Gay Marriage fiasco hasn’t done harm to society at large…

        Like

  47. 146
    Dawn says:

    Besides risking the AIDS disease he could have been shot at dawn for buggery. Or buggered until he wished he was shot at Dawn

    Like

  48. 148
    Crosby Stills and Smear says:

    Well done James, but next time shoot the UKIP fox, not your own feet.

    Like

  49. 151
    That's his career buggered then. says:

    There is no option but to dismiss him from service at the Telegraph and to transport him to the Guardian for a term of not less than 10 years.

    Like

    • 154
      Vote Conservative, get LimpDum says:

      Do you think the Guardian’s going to be around that long?

      Like

    • 158
      Liason 9 says:

      Poor chap. The Guardian is the opposite of UKIP itself.

      Everyone says they buy the Guardian but most of them are lying.
      Whilst everyone says they would never vote UKIP but secretly do.

      Like

      • 165
        Anonymous says:

        I can’t stand the Guardian – tedious as fuck. Sticking my neck out here, but I stumbled across a copy of the G2 (bet they write it in contemporary lower-case) in the bogs a while back and it wasn’t too bad.

        Like

  50. 152
    French Dawn says:

    Am I really the only person in Britain who found Lenny Henry funny?
    The Lenny Henry show was on air for over 20 years.

    Now THAT is funny!

    Like

  51. 160
    Don't Vote Labour says:

    So a corollary:

    With it’s moronic immigration policy of destruction, Labour not only swamped the UK with unwanted third rate third world garbage, but selectively allowed in the ugly third world mongs as well.

    Nice: Bottom of the barrel – gene pool and skills pool.

    Like

  52. 163
    Anonymous says:

    really struggling to understand why this gent has gone public with this tale.

    Like

    • 166
      anon. says:

      +1. If he had a deadline he couldn’t fulfill, better to just leave it than write this.

      Like

    • 169
      Adult says:

      It seems to be part of a larger article in the Telegraph about unrequited love experiences.
      So one detects the anti-UKIP Conservative Dirty Tricks unit up to their games again.

      Like

  53. 167
    Heavily built unshaven man in pink gingham frock says:

    [huskily] ‘Ere, I don’t ‘alf fancy that Blowing Whistles…

    Like

  54. 168
    Blowing Weasels says:

    Nonsense, he could never match the pleasure that a mature weasel provides.

    Like

  55. 172
    Brian "The Iron" Paddick says:

    I like night sticks . . . the blacker the better.

    Like

  56. 174
    FoI enquiry says:

    Stop the Press. James Delingpole did not go to a single sex boarding school.

    Like

  57. 175
    Ali from Bradford says:

    Throw him off a cliff (one with a wind farm if he chooses) PBUH

    Like

  58. 182
    Swivel-eyed loon who doesn't read the papers says:

    Just another metropolitan elite pansy and traitor who will sell us out to the wind industry and the EUSSR!

    Vote UKIP!

    Like

  59. 183
    Dogs breath says:

    Bareback I assume !!

    Like

  60. 184
    alexei says:

    They could remake Brief Encounter!

    Like

  61. 186
    Lord Boothby, Harvey Proctor, Ted Heath, Derek Laud, Michael Portillo, Peter Lilley, Crispin Blunt, Alan Duncan, Nigel Evans says:

    No gays in our party, duckie.

    Like

  62. 189
  63. 192

    Virgin at 19? Give over

    Like

  64. 195
    Keith Burtons says:

    Chuka goes to Nigeria for his bumfun

    Like

  65. 203
    Xavier Onassis says:

    I’ll be buggered if I read any of this garbage…. what a poofter!

    Like

  66. 207
    Polly Toynbee ate my hamster says:

    It’s even worse when Delingpole reminisces about his bowels.

    Like


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Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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