August 17th, 2013

Saturday Seven Up


482 Comments

  1. 1
    Red Ed - son of Brown says:

    I’m just a shell of my former self.

    Like

    • 55
      Expat Geordie says:

      Then get cracking lad, get cracking.

      Like

      • 94
        V1le disgusting Labour trashed my Country says:

        Get cracking? Labour don’t know the meaning of this. Are you feeling enriched in our super diverse multi-cultural shithouse and looking forward to being swamped by more benefit sponging immigrants?

        Like

        • 117
          Evil Tory says:

          The Tories have recently advertised that they’ve ‘covertly’ hired a hitman and intend to attack UKIP with smears. The reason they are ‘playing the man’ is that they know that they are losing the debate on: the EU, immigration, employment, energy provision, foreign aid and anything else you care to mention.

          They sooner talk ‘BongoBongo’ than why this year they’ve again allowed half a million people into the country when unemployments currently at 7.8%.

          Like

          • UKID DING says:

            Kippers of the World unite ! You have nothing to lose but your credibility.

            Like

          • Our EU membership fee: 20 billion reasons to vote UKIP says:

            “You have nothing to lose but your credibility”

            At least UKIP have a credibility to lose, unlike Dimmy “doubled the debt” Dave.

            How’s that Alice in Wongaland recovery going? Nicely sustainable? Happy to have Dimmy borrow £20 billion every year, just to give it to Brussels? At least it buys influence, eh? The EU’s resolving the dispute with Spain (net contribution to the EU: £SFA)? All going dandy?

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Kippers: mainly angry, crusty old Colonel Blimps, spluttering into their gin and tonics.

            Like

          • All sorts of kippers says:

            No, we’re young and beautiful too!

            Like

          • Maqboul says:

            The thing with a UKIPPer is he is unlikely to waste his vote by not using it.

            Like

        • 127
          Handycock Immigrant Trafficker says:

          You are a racist sir. Thank Jahbulon I took the advice of my masonic senior officers on the Council and shot off to my villa in Spain, which my boys bought for me for helping them launder their I’ll gotten gains, by building blocks of flats for the asylum seekers I arranged to bring in to the city and fixed up the planning permissions for. I have not appeared on these pages for some time; it was certainly good advice. Boaz.

          Like

          • Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

            You are certainly the widow’s son, Hiram Abif, Handy. Jahbulon.

            Like

    • 119
      Ed Twelvety Balls says:

      Miliband, you haven’t amounted to much and you never will.
      Kinnock won more seats than you will.

      Like

      • 208
        Ed Millionaireband says:

        Yay! I never thought I could win, but now Balls has done the maths and worked out I’m going to lose, I know I’ll be a shoo-in.

        Like

        • 210
          It's Balls says:

          Sorry, Egg. Look at the polling results in the last week:

          Company Date Con Lab LD UKIP Others
          Populus 15/08 36 39 10 8 8
          Mori 15/08 30 40 10 11 8
          ICM 13/08 32 35 14 10 9

          Now if we take the mid-term effect into account and assume a standard deviation of 2% with regional deviations with special attention to key marginals, one can deduce that, of the total number of Seats (650) after the next general election the results will be

          Conservative: some seats
          LibDem 186,282.397 miles/s
          Labour: Rekjavic, Iceland.
          UKIP: beige-ish mauve
          Others: “ERROR”

          Like

    • 355
      Gooey Blob says:

      Chuka is claiming Ed Miliband is “winning back voters”. I can’t decide whether this is the political equivalent of a football manager’s vote of confidence from the board prior to his immediate defenestration, or it’s simply the case that Umunna has bats in the belfry.

      Hilarious, either way.

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-23744948

      Like

  2. 2
    Is Len in ? McCluskey says:

    Everbody août !

    
    

    Oh – where is everyone ?

    Like

  3. 3
    Muslim Brotherhood says:

    Anyone up for a BBQ? Tonight we’re going to party like it’s 799. Again.

    Like

    • 20
      Mornington Crescent says:

      Does the fucking BBC talk about anything else other than Egypt? Seriously.

      Like

      • 24
        Expat Geordie says:

        Their side is losing and they don’t like it.

        Like

        • 43
          Lord Stansted says:

          According to Classic FM news (do they get it from Sky?) this morning, most Egyptians think their army is too soft with “Brotherhood”. You don’t hear that on the BBC. It’s the same with Syria – somehow, the BBC’s verson always seems to be missing some important point.

          Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Does anyone know who shot the Sky News cameraman? What’s the betting that it wasn’t the Egyptian Army and that Sky know this, hence Sky’s take on current events.

            Like

          • Ste Fry, homo sapiens says:

            Wonderment at the power of a cult religion to disempower so many sad people who only want to shuffle up and down to the mosk (sic) 5 times a day from 4am and to have females treated as dogs with binbags to hide their natural charm, assuming they survive FGM, forced marriage, stoning and murder if they smile, burning of schools, etc etc etc.

            Like

      • 25
        Paxo says:

        Cock, my beard’s got fleas.

        Like

      • 39
        Anonymous says:

        It’s the silly season.

        Like

      • 349
        Dreary Steeples says:

        The MB and BBC are both anti-Christian and anti-West. Since Wednesday 40 Christian churches have been looted and torched while 23 have been heavily damaged along with many Christian businesses and homes. After torching a Franciscan school, the MB paraded 3 nuns on the streets like ‘prisoners of war’, you won’t find this reported on the BBC. Instead you get ‘the MB were democratically elected’. More information on locations of destruction can be viewed on Asia News.it

        Like

  4. 4
    WVM says:

    Three comments in as many hours. This place has had it’s day I think it’s time to move on.

    Like

  5. 6
    Old Fracker says:

    Sorry I’m late I had a bad nights sleep in my £20,000 VW camper.

    Like

    • 12
      David Kelly says:

      I’m sorry I’m late as well.

      Like

    • 14
      Old Fracker says:

      I’m getting too old for this protest lark.should have given it up 30 years ago when my granddaughter said,
      “Grandma you should give up this protest lark”
      Oh well,how’s that song go again?
      Dah dee dum… 99 red balloons..give peace a chance.

      Like

      • 32
        in bad taste says:

        we’re all drowning in a leaky submarine
        a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine

        Like

        • 49
          Old Fracker says:

          Things are starting to shake in the van, have they started drilling or is it my Parkinson’s?

          Like

          • Alcoholics Unanimous says:

            DT’s— and I ain’t referring to no “rough sleeper’s blanket,” neither.
            There ain’t really purple crocodiles, you know. You’re safe from them.

            Like

    • 80
      Mornington Crescent says:

      It’s the usual rent-a-mob – bored since the Occupy camp was broken up. They’ll spend a couple of weeks there, generally arsing around, getting pissed, smoking weed and plaiting each other’s greasy pubes.

      Once the weather turns, they’ll be off in their petrol-driven vans back to their gas-fired centrally heated homes. As they’re sooo concerned about the environment, they’ll leave the area like an utter shit-house, naturally.

      Ainsi va la vie…

      Like

  6. 9
    Owen Jones says:

    I am now General Secretary of my comp’s Communist party.

    Like

  7. 11
    Living in 97.223% white Merseyside says:

    WE DON’T READ THE SUN UP OUR WAY!

    Oh sorry, it’s Saturday innit? I forgot.

    Must dash out for my weekend treat – bacon wraps and cream cakes from Greggs.

    Like

    • 19
      Gregg says:

      Fire up the burner for the mid morning rush.

      Like

    • 29
      Cheap Chef says:

      That would be artificial dog’s grease cream then would it, Sir?

      Like

    • 38
      Expat Geordie says:

      I hears that the 1992 film “A Few Good Men” isn’t too popular up there either. Scousers can watch it up to the courtroom scene (they all start either getting nervous or nostalgic at this point) and then switch off when Jack Nicholson utters the immortal lines:

      “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!”

      At which point they switch off/over and start mumbling things such as it was all Thatcher’s fault, or the police’s fault, or the referee’s fault, or the fault of the little green men as they are pathologically unable to accept responsibility for anything.

      Like

      • 46
        Lord Stansted says:

        But didn’t they all have tickets and of course they hadn’t touched alcohol in a month of Sundays.

        Like

        • 53
          Expat Geordie says:

          If they all had tickets then it is obvious that someone in Liverpool had just nicked a photocopier.

          Like

      • 107
        Ste Fry, homo sapiens says:

        They called it “steaming”, popularised at hey-sel. Bad generation breeding bad generation bree….

        Like

    • 41
      Sit Petra% says:

      Why do they put mayonnaise in everything?, (philosophical question).

      Like

  8. 18
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m going to make a raffia balloon and play in the garden, if that beard woman goes away again.

    Like

    • 23
      Mary Beard says:

      I’m here to examine the old Scottish ruin.

      Like

      • 27
        Expat Geordie says:

        I think that he was talking about Sarah.

        Like

        • 34
          Mary Beard says:

          I’ll look at that wreck later.

          Like

        • 45
          Gordon Brown says:

          I’ve made a pretend beard on my face out of my poo.

          Like

          • Gordon's brain says:

            I’m getting quite good at catching the flies that settle there with my tongue. It is excellent that I am good a maths, 10 spiders equals one spider, 10 spiders equals one sparrow. The Master will be pleased with me.

            Like

          • Gordon Brown's mum says:

            It’s sad, when a mother has to speak the words that condemn her own son. But I couldn’t allow them to believe that I would commit murder. They’ll put him away now, as I should have years ago. He was always bad, and in the end he intended to tell them I wrecked that economy and sold all that gold… as if I could do anything but just sit and stare, like one of his stuffed birds, e.g. Diane. They know I can’t move a finger, and I won’t. I’ll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do… suspect me. They’re probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I’m not even going to swat that fly on my poo beard. I hope they are watching… they’ll see. They’ll see and they’ll know, and they’ll say, “Why, she wouldn’t even harm a fly…”

            Like

  9. 22
    Get Suez Back Under British Control and Exit EU says:

    EU and US foreign policy failure in Egypt.

    Retard Cameron has probably not had that important phone call with Put!n on the Canal management issue.

    Seriously… so many opportunities, and so little capability.

    Like

    • 26
      America regrets at its leasure says:

      You know I think maybe we should have just let the French and Brits alone during the Suez crisis.

      Like

      • 28
        Anonymous says:

        Stand back, let the religion of piss return Egypt to the 10th Century. AD or BC, I really don’t care.

        Like

        • 33
          Get Suez Back Under British Control and Exit EU says:

          Who cares about Egypt, except for the resorts ?

          Suez Canal is different.

          Strategically, important, and if that came under Muzzie control would give them the ability to seriously screw with UK trade with the East.

          The Egyptian’s who are supporting Mors! need to realize that despite the propaganda, if they get in the way of this interest, they will be crushed.

          Suez back under UK control would be safer for all: The US has clearly dropped the ball here.

          Like

          • a non says:

            Didn’t I read somewhere that with the melting of large quantaties of Arctic ice both the North East and North West passages could be permanently kept open with [if needs be] major ice breakers.
            While this would not make the Suez redundant it would introduce healthy competition for goods coming / going too and from Asia, Korea, China and Japan

            Like

          • Actually says:

            You read wrong. Try facts instead of left wing inspired FUD and lies.

            http://arctic.atmos.uiuc.edu/cryosphere/

            Like

      • 31
        Expat Geordie says:

        Too fucking right. Then we might not have had any more middle east wars. We wouldn’t have pulled out of Aden, with it subsequent communist and then extreme muslim governments. We wouldn’t have had to fight two wars in Oman. The Shah wouldn’t have fallen and we wouldn’t be dependent upon Saudi oil. If there was no Iranian revolution and proper western control of Saudi then there would have been no Al-Qaida and no 9/11.
        Yeah, thanks a bunch America.

        Like

        • 40
          Get Suez Back Under British Control and Exit EU says:

          A little east of center, but the killing of Bhutto in Pak!stan which allowed a US backed puppet to enter the mainstream is another example interference.

          The US has handed piracy patrols off the coast of Somal!a over to Ch!nese / !ndian forces recently as they can no longer afford to maintain presence there.

          Joint UK / Russ!an / Ch!nese management and enforcement of Suez could be a good idea. It will not be long before some nut bars sail up the Canal and start attacking !srael’s gas fields.

          That is a scenario which is rapidly becoming likely at present, and is very much worth avoiding. Perhaps a sub plot to the US destabilization and draw down in the region ?

          Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            I’d prefer it if the Chinese were allowed nowhere near the region. They’re getting far too uppity as it is and need a good knock back. Having said that, perhaps the reason that we don’t hear too much about the piracy issue any more is that the Chinese, Indians, Russians and Kenyans are taking a more “traditional” approach than the human rights orientated western navies.

            Like

        • 47
          Anonymous says:

          A new world axis of Britain, Russia and China has attractions. It could be the new global hegemony after Mexico and Hispanic riffraff dismember the USA.

          Of course Britain would need to reassert its natural superiority. Let’s start by freeing Catalonia and annexing most of the remnants of Spain.

          Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Russia is a traditional British ally, having being so almost as long as the Portuguese, if you exclude the issues that we have had in the last couple of centuries. I’m definitely not keen on bringing the Chinese on board though – subhuman and uncivilised little animals that they are. Perhaps we could bring the Japs on board – civilised people and traditional friends of ours.

            Like

          • The rape of Nanking says:

            The Nips? Civilised?

            Shurely shum mishtake.

            Like

          • Village Idiot says:

            …The japs were pretty cruel to our p.o.w.’s?

            Like

          • The Far East says:

            How is Gordon Brown’s folly coming along? This may be obsolete, but it works:

            Like

          • Tokyo says:

            How do you like our new cross-harbour ferry? When fully fitted it will also have room for a peace-loving soft drink machine and a volley-ball court. A bit like Gordon Brown’s folly.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Village Idiot – the Japs were cruel to our POW’s because their kids had been indoctrinated for 15 years. The Nazi’s fought hard because their kids had been indoctrinated for 15 years. Previously and since the eradication of those indoctrinating elements both countries were and are civilised, friendly countries.

            Coincidentally, our kids have been indoctrinated with hard core lefty crap for the last 15 years and this country is no longer one that I would consider civilised.

            Like

          • Get Suez Back Under British Control and Exit EU says:

            The relative strengths of the three actors in such an axis would compliment each other well. Long term it may prove stable as well:

            The unipolar system which the US / ‘NWO’ types want will fail very quickly as it is inherently unstable.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            I still think that a UK/Russia/Japan axis would be better. The Chinese and Russians just don’t get on, both races being extremely r@císt towards each other.

            Coming from the north east, at one point our largest ethnic minority was the Japanese. Very nice, hard-working, innovative, civilised people, who, unlike the Chinese, know how to use soap. The last thing that the Chinese ever invented was gunpowder a thousand years ago, which makes them about as innovative as muslims.

            Like

          • Get Suez Back Under British Control and Exit EU says:

            You are making my point about the tri-axis with Ch!na, and why the UK is needed. The UK capacity for innovation is the quality which completes the other two.

            Russ!a / Ch!na have their differences, however their divisions are really only skin deep.

            An easy way to repair this division is if Russ!a developed food production in central as!a with Ch!na as the key target market, in return for quality finished goods and labour to properly rebuild Russ!an infrastructure. This development has likely already happened.

            J@pan has unfinished business with Ch!na from WWII. A powerful reason not to directly include them directly in such an axis is that long term they will fall under Ch!na’s sphere of influence, and respecting those spheres is important.

            What is needed over the next few years is an As!an version of the Monroe doctrine. This will help avert possible wars between the new major actor Ch!na and its de-facto satellites.

            A similar doctrine to be established by the UK over certain interests such as Suez.

            It was a quirk of history which lost Suez to the UK, the US taking advantage of situation when the country was weak.

            That error of history needs to be corrected.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            We can agree to disagree, but fundamentally you’re not wrong.

            It’ll never happen though.

            Like

          • Toilet Paper makes a mess says:

            We will run out of trees when the Chinese start using toilet Paper.
            And their land will become one big cesspit.

            Like

  10. 35
    William Vague says:

    I popped into the FCO yesterday to ask what these blasted Egypos were up to.

    The permanent under-secretary got a bit sniffy and said I should say Egyptians. Who knew?

    Like

    • 44
      Expat Geordie says:

      To my grandfather’s and great uncle’s generation, who actually fought out there, they were W.O.G.S., a phrase that never applied, and was never intended to be applied to bl@ck people. Remember African, Caribbean and Indian troops were fighting on our side at the time, whilst the Egyptians and Arabs were praying for a Nazi victory. Remember Nasser and Sadat were apparently Nazi sympathisers.

      Like

      • 50
        SNP = racist filth says:

        The SNP were Nazi sympathisers, too, and even tried to help them with an invasion of England. And today the SNP’s supporters have the audacity to call Farage ‘racist’.

        Like

        • 54
          Iron Bru says:

          Aye, t’s true.

          Like

        • 64
          Reichsminister Rudolf Hess says:

          “The SNP were Nazi sympathisers…”

          Think back.
          Where was I headed for, when my plane went down?

          ‘Nuff said.

          Like

        • 72
          Between you and me says:

          Can you please provide evidence of your assertion that the SNP were in cahoots with the Nazis otherwise people might get the impression that you are an arsehole. Regards.

          Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            I never said that they were. However Irish “nationalists” and Welsh “nationalists” are known to have provided support and carried out sabotage at the behest of the Nazis. Someone in Berlin or Hamburg would have been seriously remiss not to have at least tried to go for the hat-trick with the Scots.

            Incidentally when Welsh nationalists were blowing up electricity pylons and sub-stations in 1966, they were known to the bomb disposal people as the “Viet Taff”. Reflection of the times I suppose.

            Like

          • SNP = racist filth says:

            “Can you please provide evidence of your assertion that the SNP were in cahoots with the Nazis otherwise people might get the impression that you are an arsehole. Regards.”

            It’s been in the press quite a bit over the last 20 years. You could try googling it.

            You do know how to use Google, don’t you?

            Like

          • Propaganda Watch says:

            It should be pointed out that the SNP is painted in the media as having a relevant political voice, but are in fact a very nasty / rac!st operation.

            The SNP wish to break union with the UK, and sell new found sovereignty immediately to the EU.

            UKIP on the other hand are the diametric opposite: Painted as nasty, but in reality are quite reasonable, and quite clear on their main issue of exiting EU that they wish to have national debate and put the question to the people as free and final referendum on the matter before doing anything.

            If the people decide they wish to leave, UKIP will execute these wishes.

            One is shocked at the disconnect between the media narrative and reality on this.

            Like

      • 51
        Fact Hunt says:

        Only ever heard my late Dad use the F word in one context. When discussing his wartime experiences, he was a AA gunner in the Eighth army, he invariably said ‘Fucking dirty, stinking, a rabs’.

        Like

        • 63
          Sound advice says:

          Never trust an arab.

          Like

          • Aesop says:

            HERMES AND THE ARABS

            Hermes filled a cart with lies and dishonesty and all sorts of wicked tricks, and he journeyed in this cart throughout the land, going hither and thither from one tribe to another, dispensing to each nation a small portion of his wares. When he reached the land of the Arabs, so the story goes, his cart suddenly broke down along the way and was stuck there. The Arabs seized the contents of the cart as if it were a merchant’s valuable cargo, stripping the cart bare and preventing Hermes from continuing on his journey, although there were still some people he had not yet visited. As a result, Arabs are liars and charlatans, as I myself have learned from experience. There is not a word of truth that springs from their lips.

            Like

      • 90
        Memories of the Canal Zone says:

        My Dad was stationed out there with RAF just after WW2 in early 50’s and based at RAF Fayid where myself and Mum joined him in “Married Quarters” in 52 . He was Senior NCO Ground Crew. I was only 3 at the time so do not have very clear memories but parents told me we there was always trouble/ violence and it was quite usual for the camp to be raided by llocal terrorist gangs to try and get arms or kill service personnel, and local civilian workers working for British forces if they could etc. One of their little ploys was to stretch piano wire across the road to decapitate Army Despatch Riders. It was De Rigeur for all British Personnel to wear sidearms at all times and in fact my Mum was trained and issued with pistol although Dad got her a Sten Gun(I have not the faintest idea how or where from and I can’t ask him as he’s long dead) which she kept in the pantry of our married quarters(this was the era of the Mau Mau in Kenya)and actually used it on one occasion although albeit fired in the air to disperse several threating arab blokes surrounding car which she was driving with me inside it. Lucky for her and me they got the message pretty quickly and ran off(she got in trouble with Dad as it was standing orders that wives should always travel in pairs when on shopping runs to the larger Army NAAFI)Luckily an Army Patrol came to rescue(the road between RAF and Army Camp was ostensibly “safe” but continually patrolled by British Army and there were often instances of cars being run off road and in one instance my dad was driving back to base with a couple of mates when a car drew alongside and the bloke leaned out the window pointing a pistol at my Dad who rapidly took evasive action, stopping the car before the other car sped off. So the current unrest and violence is NOT new in this place

        .

        Like

  11. 36
    a packet of crisps says:

    take away their license would be the most appropriate response

    Like

  12. 62
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Where do these fracking protestors get their money from. How can they afford to be there for weeks. How many of them do not use fossil fuels in one way or another?
    What about the loud music, drums, p.a. systems – no noise pollution then. I imagine the stench of hypocrisy from the camp is pretty bad.

    Like

    • 65
      Old Fracker says:

      Well I used to be on the dole when I was at Greenham common but these days I live off my old age pension.

      Like

    • 67
      Owen Jones says:

      My carbon neutral cottaging industry help make ends meet.

      Like

    • 70
      A Humpy says:

      It’s summer. Wait till it gets cold and starts tp rain. The sane ones will all go home and the protest will be left with a rump joined by wannabes only at the weekends.

      Like

      • 75
        Alternatives to the Donkey sanctuary for every occassion says:

        Look don’t be too harsh on them these camps provide batty women who have come out of failed relationships with something to do.

        Like

        • 76
          A Gourmet says:

          They could try making ham from donkey meat. It’s delicious.

          Like

        • 91
          Pierced brain says:

          And loony young ones a chance to get into a bad relationship.

          Like

        • 461
          Batty woman in failed relationship says:

          Brilliant idea. Thanks for the heads up – will pack my rucksack tomorrow. Btw did you all know that the EU had banned mothballs? When I asked our local cheap sells everything shop where they were the girl got quite irate. Apparently they were a good seller. I gave her a ukip leaflet that I just happened to have on me and she seemed quite interested.

          Like

      • 202
        Expat Geordie says:

        Of course it will – it’s this years “Occupy” movement. Last summer it was “occupy”, this summer it’s “fracking” and next summer it will be the next domestic cause that the BBC is having wet dreams about.

        Like

    • 92
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      “…[S]tench of hypocrisy…”?

      Stench full stop, probably more like.

      Like

  13. 66
    Paxmong's Beard (no relation to Mary) says:

    Why is the British media giving the anti Fracking scum a free pass? The BBC especially.

    Like

    • 82
      Mornington Crescent says:

      I wonder what the Beeboids would do if the Eee Dee Ell marched against fracking…?

      Like

    • 83
      D L George says:

      Antony Jay on the BBC
      “We were anti-industry, anti-capitalism, anti-advertising, anti-selling, anti-profit, anti-patriotism, anti-monarchy, anti-Empire, anti-police, anti-armed forces, anti-bomb, anti-authority. Almost anything that made the world a freer, safer and more prosperous place, you name it, we were anti it.”

      CPS report here (Original link from the adverts on this page)
      http://www.cps.org.uk/publications/reports/bias-at-the-beeb/

      BBC News needs closing down and the money given to a true 24 hour unbiased, non political, non PC, fact based organisation. ASAP.

      Like

  14. 68
    Gonk says:

    ‘Any questions’ panel of traitors mini discussion on immigration illustrated quite nicely why we’re heading for 100 million population(already 70m). Because they all fucking want it.

    Like

    • 71
      The Ministry of Truth says:

      Because they all want their appearance fees. Anyone not on side is not asked back. Hence the same names week after week.

      Like

  15. 78
    Lawd HA HA says:

    Meanwhile preparations for the wavey Tory Party Conference continue apace….

    all in it together…haha

    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=4e0_1376600179

    Like

  16. 85
  17. 86
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Superb interview with Godfrey Bloom:
    “Mr Bloom describes David Cameron as ‘an appallingly vacuous, pigeon-chested young man’ and Nick Clegg as someone who ‘would have made a ladyboy had he been born a Thai’.”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395911/His-enemies-Mr-Bongo-Bongo-sexist-monster-So-whats-like-married-him.html

    Like

  18. 89
    Ed Moribund says:

    I desperately want to get in front of guido as when I’m behind he farts in my face.

    Like

  19. 97
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Having taken a few days off – I wonder if my automated (PA)Trolls did the same?

    Like

  20. 99
    Anonymous says:

    When’s Nigel on? I’ve got me popcorn

    Like

  21. 102
    Anonymous says:

    No Housing Benefit – no need for rent controls.

    Actually, that might be a step too far, but a cap on housing benefit might kerb the upward spiral of private rents. Spaying sums of money to the tune of ‘whatever the market would support’ isn’t going to influence landlords when it comes to price-setting is it? Private landlord: the local authority wants to spray more money at me?? – don’t mind if they do; here… I’ll raise my rents to help them do it.

    Who do Labour think they are relying on private assets to be utilised for social housing??

    Like

    • 110
      Expat Geordie says:

      Labour are the ones who buggered up the private rental market, and it all goes back to Gordon’s theft from pension funds.

      After Gordon destroyed private pensions people sensibly bought property to replace pensions. However the extra demand for housing as a result led to a housing bubble. This in turn led to an increase in rents as it was the rents that were paying the buy-to-let mortgages for these properties.

      Rents went up faster than wages, which in reality were being forced down by Eastern European migration anyway, so the only way that lower waged workers could afford to rent was via Housing Benefit. So who ultimately has benefited?

      Not the government – the £5bn a year that Gordon stole from personal pension funds hasn’t even covered the cost of increasing Housing Benefit, which now stands at over £20bn p.a.

      Not the property “owners” who are lucky to get a 5% return on their property, most of which goes straight to the bank as mortgage interest. Also, as they have to provide a 25% deposit for the property that 25% is not providing any return.

      Not the tenants, who are now reliant upon the state to keep a roof over their head.

      But since all this was caused by Labour, you can be sure that as eggs is eggs they will demand action from someone else to sort out the mess that they will deny was of their making.

      Like

      • 114
        Point of Information 4 says:

        The theft from pension funds was one thing – a one off that should not have happened.

        What caused the real damage was Labour’s blessing on the consolidation and closing of the Pension funds through reforms which took place in the early 2000s. Ostensibly and industry move, but with full political support which was odd.

        The problem now is that many of these funds require assets to continue to appreciate in order to generate income and fund their future liabilities.

        They will fail if the housing / rental market corrects.

        Look to Lord Oak… for further details.

        Like

        • 379
          Percy says:

          Jimmy Brown’s biggest mistake by a mile was to reduce the control of markets and the banking sector to negligible levels because said markets and banksters said they were hampered and their profits limited with the levels (already reduced by Maggie and John Major ) of control, whether Jimmy was guided by Ballsup or did it off his own bat I have no idea.

          Like

      • 222
        Anonymous says:

        Good points.

        So, taxpayer bailouts for the banking system aside, taxation continues to shore up the banking system by paying buy-to-letters’ mortgage interest via Housing Benefit plus contributing to the buy-to-letters’ profit margin? I suppose the buy-to-let investors are also contributing to the shoring-up by committing the capital for the deposit, capital which may otherwise be invested elsewhere – particularly in the case of retirees seeking an alternative to trashed pensions, where the associated risk would be different, too, especially, if say, the capital were to remain in a bank account.

        Essentially, tax receipts preventing the rental sector from contracting and therefore the housing bubble from deflating thus protecting the banks. All aided and abetted by immigration?

        Like

        • 255
          Expat Geordie says:

          When I first moved south I bought a one bedroomed flat in Bournemouth for £32,000, on a £30,000 mortgage (June 1996). At the time I was working in a factory earning £6.00 an hour, and on that I could get a mortgage and afford to run a car. The workers at the factory, with the exception of a few Portuguese, were all white British.

          That same flat would now cost between £120,000 and £130,000. To match that the factory wage would now have to be between £24.00 and £30.00 an hour (to allow for higher taxation rates). However similar jobs are paying minimum wage (£6.19 an hour) and the staff are almost exclusively Eastern European.

          Thanks to Gordon’s deliberate mismanagement, and Tony’s desire to be President of Europe, our kids can’t get onto the first, or any, rung on the housing ladder, because the jobs aren’t there and the houses aren’t there. Therefore instead of buying a house, youngsters are either staying at home for much longer, or are moving into the private rental sector, paid for by Housing Benefit.

          Tell me, what was wrong with the old system?

          Like

    • 135
      Anti-Rentier Alliance says:

      Nearly 1M ‘in work’ now on Housing Benefits. No doubt LHA rates underpin the whole private rental market. Needless to say even social rents are going up at above inflation rates (those ALMO staff pensions and perks don’t pay themselves you know). Indeed where I live in t’Norf some social rents are matching private rents. Our dysfunctional housing market is an elephant in the room all our politico’s carefully ignore, perhaps because so many of them are state funded rentiers.

      Like

      • 185
        Expat Geordie says:

        Of course what seriously annoys me (well, not really, but it is a slight irritant as I don’t rent a council house) is that council tenants in Poole, where I live, are subsidising council tenants in the north east, where I no longer live and give thanks to God for that. Now if the wages down here were higher than the north east then I could understand it, but average household income is lower down here than up there, yet rents in council and private sector are higher.

        Like

  22. 108
    Egypto Army Rules OK says:

    The Muzz Bro-hood are finito. Disempowered and deleted. A proscribed illegal organisation we shall soon announce. Thank you USA for our $1.1bn pa. Will you be needing our services in the UK?

    Like

    • 124
      DAVE Fuckwit CAMERMONG says:

      I thay what ! I’m so glad i was in full support of the Arab spring in Egypt
      Democracy in action is the only way forward , those muzzies really have it sorted what
      Afghanistan , Iraq ,Libya , Syria The world is a much better place after our support for those regimes

      What ho !
      If you have any unhappy refugees just send them to Britain , every body else does Top Ho !

      Like

    • 162
      Blowing Whistles says:

      I read in today’s Telegraph [page 7] an unattributed article referring to another kind of Brotherhood in the UK who are desperately seeking to attract younger men into their ranks.
      Quote: “Freemasons do have something of an image problem with most members of the public thinking of us as a load of white-haired old men in tweed jackets.”

      As a member of the public I’d have said more – you’re a bunch of dirty old men running a criminal enterprise which the public have found out. But then I would say that wouldn’t I – ‘cos of course it’s the fracking truth?

      Like

      • 198
        Lux e tenebris says:
                         __
                         \ \
                        / \ \
                       / / \ \
                      / /   \ \
                     / /     \ \
              /\    / /       \ \   /\
             /  \  / /  GGGG   \ \ /  \
             \   \/ /  GG  GG   \ \  \/
              \/ / /   GG        \ \ /
               \/ /\   GG GGG   / \ \
               / /  \  GG  GG  /   \ \
              / /\   \  GGGG  /  \/ \ \
             / /  \/  \      /   /   \ \
            / /    \   \    /  \/     \ \
           / /      \/  \  /   /       \ \
          / /        \   \/  \/         \ \
         / /          \/     /           \ \
         |/            \   \/             \|
         /              \  /               \
        '                \/                 '
        

        Like

      • 361
        Binkie, The Professional Israeli Troll says:

        [farting noise]

        Like

        • 405
          Blowing Whistles says:

          YOU DO TALK AND WRITE FROM OUT OF YOUR POSTERIOR DON’T YOU BINKIE.

          P.S. tHE REPLY THAT WAS DELETED STATED OF Tenebrae = C 17 Latin for “Darkness”

          Took you a while to troll me. Who’s laughing at who Rsole?

          Like

    • 370
      A Sceptical Observer says:

      Oooohhh! Sweetie-pie! I reckon you’re not blowing whistles at all. I reckon you’ve never blown one single whistle in your entire life. I think you’re probably not physically capable of blowing whistles. You probably don’t even know what whistles are. You’re just pretending you know all about whistles, in order to seem big and grown-up. And everyone else humours you because they can see how pathetically vulnerable you are, with your total lack of whistle-related knowledge/experience.

      Like

  23. 115
    Sit Petra% says:

    Any active t ?

    Like

  24. 118
    Jabba the Hutt mp for Mid-Sussex says:

    We have a Fracking good show at Balcoobe.

    Like

  25. 121
  26. 122
    DAVE Fuckwit CAMERMONG says:

    I thay George What ! I’ve just had a spiffing idea
    As we are totally clueless with the deficit and have absolutely no idea how to kick start the economy , lets introduce lots of new motoring offences and let them pay off the deficit
    We can fine our way to recovery ! What
    And the insurance companies will have a fuckin field day , upping everybodys policies , they will rake in so much money that they might even pay a bit of tax

    What ho , i’m a genius

    Like

    • 130
      Gordon McFuckwit-Bust says:

      I introduced over 4000 taxes and Blew everything and created the problem you are now winging someone else is struggling to clear up

      Like

      • 137
        Our EU membership fee: 20 billion reasons to vote UKIP says:

        And Dimmy Dave’s solution to the debt catastrophe created by Gordon is to.. er.. double it.

        Great.

        Like

        • 161
          Lefties ruined uk says:

          Well he could have turned off the tap the day he walked into no 10 but then every mong in the world just like you would squeal like a stuck pig

          Oh and you say double it. You are a leftie twat who is trying to shift an the last lot on anyone else. Don’t work son. You are still a dickwad

          Like

          • Egg milkiband says:

            Agreed heard a labour twat the other day moaning about the mess they would inherit when they got back in

            Like

    • 154
      Anonymous says:

      “if (and only if) the way he drives falls below what would be expected of a competent and careful driver.”

      There is no competent and careful driver. It is an abstract idea that we all should fit to a single standard. Anyone in a rush is therefore below standard. They will trade speed for a higher probability of accidents. That is therefore not careful.

      Anyone that is disadvantaged, is by definition less than the expected standard by the majority.

      The roads are only available to those that can afford to pay fines and those that are above average abilities. Once the below average are forced off the road the average of what is expected is raised. So more will be forced off the road.

      When was the concept of breaking rules deemed out-dated? And why does such an abstract level fall to just one officer to determine?

      Like

  27. 123
    mimi says:

    eye see all the links to tory misbehaviour have been removed – funny that – as someone has already said this site is a shadow of its former self

    Like

    • 132
      Left wing twat spotter says:

      Well fuck off then if you don’t like it the exit is over there and try to make sure the door does not hit you in your dumb lefty arse on the way out

      Like

  28. 126
    In a nutshell: Labour Economic Policy says:

    Steal from the rich, and lose it in a casino.

    Like

    • 139
      Our EU membership fee: 20 billion reasons to vote UKIP says:

      Labour’s economic policy in a nutshell: spend other people’s money whilst simultaneously doing everything possible to stop people earning the money in the first place.

      Like

  29. 140
    Owen Jokes says:

    This is an era that history will record as the beginning of kindergarten Marxism, my own global brand of envy, schadenfreude, coveting and collectivism.

    We shall overcome !

    Like

  30. 141
    William Vague says:

    Bit disappointing there’s no Egyptian town names I can pronounce in a humorous way

    Like

  31. 142
    I would not change my pants for the deluded scum that populates Edinburgh dogshite city. says:

    Game over! The Socialists are scum!

    Like

  32. 143
    BBC spitting tacks says:

    The BBC sound really really upset that the Muslim brotherhood in Egypt are getting their arses kicked. BBC reporters are roaming the streets of Cairo trying to find someone who has a good word to say about the brotherhood but so far their quest has been in vain. So they have resorted to plan B and asked the LibDems and EU to put in a good word for the brothers.

    Like

  33. 145
    Tony, international statesman says:

    All this talk of war makes me tumescent

    Like

  34. 146
    The Edinburgh dogshite are deluding themselves NOW with their Tripe. says:

    Egg Balls in next! Hehee!

    Like

  35. 147
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPP !!!!

    Like

    • 151
      Prick Clogg says:

      Don’t give a fuck. Off to EU in 2015.

      Like

      • 191
        Expat Geordie says:

        Okay then, off you fuck.

        But suppose UKIP do manage to get us a referendum, and suppose that we vote to leave, what happens to you then?

        Oh Christ, the horror! All of our failed, treacherous politicians having nowhere to go to and having to stay here! About the only reason to vote to stay in the EU.

        Like

    • 183
      Man from the street says:

      And they don’t even prompt for UKIP!!!!

      Like

    • 189
      Londoner says:

      I find it hard to believe that Labour has so much support. I live in a rock solid Labour safe seat and even here there are few people who are that keen on them.

      Like

  36. 148
    Playing stupid time wasting games with a bunch of useless arseholes in Edinburgh. says:

    http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/2013/08/watson-interview-piles-pressure-on-labour-to-publish-falkirk-report/

    Time for Fatso Watson to jog on out of the Labour Party. He is a fat lying fuck who needs a kick in the balls!

    Like

  37. 150
    don't get me wrong says:

    do you think the African politicians shave their heads to make them look more European ?

    Like

  38. 156

    A small detour to Ivresse to visit the tomb of poor Fabergé d’Églantine, who penned the immortal ‘Il pleut, bergère’ the night before he went over the top in 1914. On the way I paused in the pretty village of Entre-deux-Jambes for a quick nip of Calvados. The barmaid was astonishing with waist-length blonde plaits, and breasts that strained both the thin fabric of her blouse and my credulity. As I pressed myself against her I could feel her erect nipples thrusting urgently against my waistcoat. We slipped into the scullery as her slim, probing fingers unbuttoned my braces. But picture my chagrin when my elderly member refused to rise to the occasion! I can still hear her cry of ‘Connasse!’ as her hand-painted sabot connected with my groin, but I will treasure the ache in memory of her perfection. Later, in the town, I toyed with a large plateful of andouilettes and permitted myself the indulgence of three bottles of Crémant de Loire. I am not ashamed to say that I had to be carried to my hotel, from whence I dispatch this modest message before consigning myself to the arms of Möbius.

    Like

  39. 157
    • 195
      Blowing Whistles says:

      And I wonder if them plod have the backbone to dig a little under the surface surrounding LJ Scott-Baker – A right two-faced bastard (I am qualified to say that btw)?

      Like

      • 367
        Binkie, The Professional Israeli Troll says:

        “Qualified to say that”? Of course you are, dear. You spent three years at evening classes, getting your junior diploma in Plasticene Modelling And How To Insult Judges. Who says you’ve never achieved anything, eh?

        Like

  40. 158
    Energy Watch says:

    Like

  41. 163

    Did Mr Blair get more things right than Lady Thatcher?

    Like

  42. 166
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Noticed that Rupee and News International are still being as transparent as mud as printed in a few publications today. They never tried wire-fraud did they because that’s a big no no in the US? Oh I forgot the monies probably went via the Cayman Islands – so that’s all right then. Ordinto Investments.

    Like

    • 369
      Blowing Weasels says:

      I very much enjoy the taste of a weasel’s penis.

      Is there something wrong with that?

      Like

  43. 170
    Times Literary Review says:

    The novel’s coming along well, then?

    Like

  44. 175
    Chuckles the Clown says:

    I can’t see anything to make you smile in Broken Britain

    Like

  45. 176
    Saffron says:

    Looking up at the sky tonight and seeing the nearly full moon whilst having a glass of real ale rather than the eurofizz crap foisted upon us makes one think and long for times in the past.
    Where did we go wrong in that we are now in times of flux?.
    Well we went wrong because of the moneymen and their greed for cash and power over the ordinary peoples of this world.
    These kinds of power mad money mad assholes are still dictating what we should do.
    IMHO when oh when are the people going to wake up and to tell this minority lot that their days are numbered.
    The last world war generated by these moneymen using their puppet Hitler resulted in cica 30 million+ being killed and for what.
    Well so that they could continue to go their own sweet way to profit profit and absolute control of the masses.
    Can we alter this?.
    Well yes we can if we have the ba–s to do it.
    IMHO from now on we should be saying to these so called politico’s chancers who are in it for themselves you can feck off we will vote you out of office and put in people who have our values.

    Like

    • 190
      Snap says:

      Oddly enough I was only thinking yesterday how convenient it is for the powers that be to put the blame for WWII and the Holocaust on just one man.

      Like

    • 304
      Expat Geordie says:

      What I find odd is that the Germans, a highly civilised and refined people, chose to follow an Austrian. Nothing against Austrians, but Germans think that Austrians sound like rather stupid farmers. So basically, the Germans/Nazis were led by – A Wurzel!

      Can you imagine Churchill delivering his speeches with a deepest Dahset or Zumerzet accent. Much as I love Dorset (not Somerset though, the people are weird with a capital W) I don’t think that the British people would have been inspired by anyone with such an accent.

      Like

  46. 178
    Man from the street says:

    People of Balcombe, it’s funny you never complained when third world immigration into my neighbourhood pushed up your house price, well guess what I don’t care if your water supply is contaminated as long as my energy bills go down.

    Life’s a bitch.

    Like

    • 184
      Life is not always fun says:

      I also do not care. If they were stupid enough to pay too much for property which has gas underneath it, that it their lookout. Caveat Emptor.

      Like

      • 201
        South Yorkshire Calling says:

        The odd village round here is still being undermined, and when everything settles out will need the land pumping dry in perpetuity to stop it turning into a lake (which it did in 2007 anyway). The slag brought to the surface pollutes the surface water and recently wiped out the railway for 4 months in a landslide.

        The idiots protesting down south might actually have a point if they came up here and tried to stop the last coal mine working.

        Thing is, I doubt the locals would be friendly.

        We’d never have got out of the stone age if these wassocks had been in charge. They’d even have been protesting at mining flint out of Grime’s Graves.

        Like

        • 247
          Percy says:

          Not only that in our small town they are building new houses on land formerly on the site of an old tar distilling company, they dug down 7-10 meters and the ground was still coming up black and the stink of creosote hung in the air for over a year, its supposed to have been covered with an impervious membrane and recover with fresh soil. Anyone want to buy a house on that site, to Londistaners very cheap, to locals unaffordable, any buyers? Come on you money grubbers.

          Like

  47. 193
  48. 199
    Egg Miliband says:

    At the next conference I am going to use Milton FriedEgg as my inspiration.

    Like

  49. 205
    Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two bog seats, two Jags & Shags. says:

    MESSAGE FROM ONE MASSIVE FAILURE TO ANOTHER MASSIVE FAILURE

    Like

  50. 209
    Woman spots the New Obama walking in Hounslow says:

    Like

  51. 211

    Today I visited the main sites in Limoges. First was The Adrien Dubouché National Porcelain Museum in Place Winston Churchill. Then Saint-Michel-des-Lions. One must ignore what is written on the French Wikipedia page as the evidence of one’s eyes makes clear. It was begun in 12th cy as the presence of pointed arches for this part of France clearly demonstrates. It became vaulted in 14th cy and this is obvious from the replacement of the pointed clerestory lights with clover-shaped lights to allow sufficient space for the vaulting to replace what must previously have been a wooden roof. The ghosting of the original shapes are clearly visible from the outside.

    Similarly the current structure of Cathédrale Saint-Étienne is clearly older than the 1273 claimed in Wikipedia due to the Romanesque elements visible as one enters the narthex. I would put it as late 11th to early 12th cy, with the bias to the former. It is a magnificent sight.

    The nearby Musée des Beaux Arts is a delightful provincial collection with some great works from notable artists which most national collections would not be ashamed to show. The real treat awaits on the top floor where the émaux, or enamels, of the 11th to 14th centuries are on display. Some fine examples are in the British Museum, the Metropolitan, the Louvre and the Hermitage but I have not seen so much work together in one place as here.

    Then onto Poitiers and stole a crafty late look at Notre-Dame-la-Grande, the oldest church of the Romanesque architectural style in Europe and from the mid 11cy, replacing an earlier structure, and consecrated in 1186.

    The hugely impressive west façade of Cathédrale Saint-Pierre, 12th cy, with three doors, all or four orders of shafts and arch mouldings, magnificent tympania and wonderful gargoyles.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/35/Poitiers_Cath%C3%A9drale_Saint_Pierre.jpg

    No time to describe crumpet today but there were some great examples.

    Like

    • 213
      Ailurophile says:

      Not Cat.

      Too many grammar crimes.

      Phraseology also arseways.

      Like

      • 216

        Sorry to disappoint, Ailurophile. I have drunk a litre of Rosé wine tonight which may help to explain. I love subjects like architecture and get carried away with what I notice and which other people get wrong when they write guidebooks.

        In the Adrien Dubouché today, I had to point out that they had misplaced Bow in the middle of Suffolk on their map, whereas the porcelain factory was, of course, in the modern London Borough of Newham. It only existed for some 29 years in the middle of the 18th cy and shamelessly copied Chelsea and Meissen works, thus rendering itself as a troll of the day…

        Like anyone, I still make lots of mistakes but try to push myself to learn more by them.

        Like

        • 371
          Vet says:

          That is far too much alcohol for a cat. You will need to watch your liver. Get you master to make an appointment for you to see me in the week.

          Like

    • 215
      Ailurophile says:

      Also, no mention of the Guinness in L’Irlandais Bar, beside the Cathedral (no mention of the Cathedral!).

      Like

      • 217

        I saw an Irish pub in Parma a few days back (the Dub Linn) and meant to go and have a pint but my route did not take me back passed it. My experience is that few of them have cask Guinness anyway as it is too expensive to ship that distance. That is what they told me in Slovakia a month or two back. Soon, I will be enjoying a few though… :-)

        Like

      • 219

        Saw the L’Irlandais Bar but had an ice cream instead due to the heat and the need to drive another 150km.

        Cathédrale Saint-Étienne is mentioned in my piece. Maybe it is you who have been at the Guinness> ;-)

        Like

      • 220

        Sаw thе L’Іrlаndаіs Bаr but hаd аn іcе crеаm іnstеаd duе tо thе hеаt аnd thе nееd tо drіvе аnоthеr 150km.

        Cаthédrаlе Sаіnt-Étіеnnе іs mеntіоnеd іn my pіеcе. Mаybе іt іs yоu whо hаvе bееn аt thе Guіnnеss ;-)

        Like

    • 221
      Tachybaptus says:

      Glad to hear that you had only fallen into the arms of Möbius, rather than those of the flics.

      Wonderful tympanum of the Last Judgement over the central door of Poitiers cathedral with the lowest register showing people climbing out of coffins. It looks like the pedalo hire at your FKK beach:
      http://www.france-voyage.com/visuals/photos/vienne/preview/poitiers-06.jpg

      Like

  52. 226
    A definition of insanity... says:

    Canada’s housing market looks like it may be about to blow out:

    http://www.cnbc.com/id/100967192

    Anyone who can explain why prices should have gone this high in a country which is the second largest by landmass on earth, yet has a population about 1/3 that of the UK, credibly, perhaps deserves an economics prize.

    Like

  53. 228
    Appalled says:

    TheTimes reports that Cameron is keen, in pusuit of his immigration agenda, to award a knighthood to a Somali immigrant who livex in the USA…

    Like

    • 265
      Expat Geordie says:

      And why is this country going mad over a Somali muslim immigrant called Mohammed Farrah? Wasn’t he the villain in the film Black Hawk Down? Are we to assume that “our Mo” might have been named for him?

      Like

      • 282
        State of the Nation says:

        So some guy from the third world can run fast.

        That’s worth a knighthood ?

        Standards have dropped.

        Like

  54. 230
    Dave Cameron, the Tit - sorry, Dick - in Number 10 says:

    Good Morning, my gay friends, what a gay day!

    I’ve been having a summit meeting with that nice Mr. Fry who is everso expert in sport. I had him – I mean, it – in the back room.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2396341/Stephen-Fry-Cameron-hold-secret-summit-gay-hate-Olympics–East-End-pub-Actor-wants-boycott-Winter-games-Russia-rights-abuses.html

    Like

    • 236
      Hampstead Heath Harrier says:

      Were you the nut or the bolt? Or did you take turns like good equal opportunists?

      Like

    • 271
      Stephen Fry says:

      I have a silly little beard now, just like my lefty friend Paxman. I’ve been trying to persuade David to get one. Thing is, I don’t really need a beard, I’m out already, Oy Vay.

      Like

  55. 231
    • 233
      have you ever noticed that the Islamic for Allah looks like the Loch Ness monster ? says:

      http://www.icd9data.com/2013/Volume1/290-319/300-316/302/302.0.htm

      Like

    • 234
      Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

      I woke up this morning and was absolutely disgusted.

      There were two sweaty female athletes in their underwear french kissing one another on my television.

      Now do not get me wrong, the law is the law and if Mr Cameron has passed a law saying people can do this type of thing then that is that.

      However people like me do find such displays in public very distressing and it spoilt my breakfast it did.

      Perhaps mr Cameron could do something still such as put a 9.00 p m watershed on this type of behaviour on our screens or warn us by having our screens light up in red or something five minutes before.

      I do not think I am asking too much really. Last night I went out for a Vindaloo and when I looked at the bill this morning I realised I paid Mr Cameron a tidy little sum in VAT.

      I remember too him nearly fainting when someone mentioned homesexuals to him when he was Leader of the Opposition.

      Like

      • 238
        have you ever noticed that the Islamic for Allah looks like the Loch Ness monster ? says:

        “I woke up this morning and was absolutely disgusted.

        There were two sweaty female athletes in their underwear french kissing one another on my television.”

        well if it bothers you don’t let them in the house.

        Like

      • 327
        Night Owl says:

        And can someone explain the running horses and shagging in a sinking boat on the Durex advert ?

        Runs quite late but really destroys the mood of the horror flicks on Film 4.

        (Nice depiction of Burnhamesque NHS nurses in the continuity sections, very subtle…)

        Putting ads promoting maximum sex on in the middle of slasher movies should be looked into. This is the wrong sort of association to be promoting.

        Like

        • 438
          Anonymous says:

          Stop watching TV. Do you enjoy being abused by these people for their profit?

          Go out. Walked 30 miles this weekend. Absolutely peaceful, no one tried to sell to me, change my mind, interrupt my life, demand money through guilt, or annoy me in any way.

          Like

  56. 232
    have you ever noticed that the Islamic for Allah looks like the Loch Ness monster ? says:

    after his rendezvous with a gay bloke Cameroon says his support for Russian LGBTs is rock solid

    Like

  57. 235
    Our leaders are all self-serving bent pygmies says:

    So Willybum Vague has made a hard hitting phone call to his Egyptian counterpart saying the violence must cease. What a pathetic base balled capped cnut.

    Good to know the U.K. is still a major power with worldwide influence. Ha Fucking Ha.

    What bollux. The LibLabConners have reduced it to a bankrupt third world island on the edge of Europe.

    Dave and Vague are merely the latest in a succession of weak incompetent failures.

    Like

  58. 241
    Ah! Monika reformed says:

    And where were all the professional protesters when the started to build offshore wind farms?

    Like

  59. 243
    Ah! Monika reformed says:

    COMPETITION FOR HACKERS

    Pistorius claims he cannot remember log-in for phone app
    Blade runner Oscar ­Pistorius claims he has forgotten the password to help police crack the secrets of his phone

    Like

  60. 244
    Ah! Monika reformed says:

    Ed is about as much use as a snooze button on a smoke alarm which is still in the box, without a battery, in B & Q, at midnight.

    Like

  61. 246
    MB. says:

    Australian election

    In the SMH
    August 12, 2013
    Liberals squirm as Abbott refers to ‘the suppository of wisdom’

    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/federal-election-2013/liberals-squirm-as-abbott-refers-to-the-suppository-of-wisdom-20130812-2rryy.html

    Like

    • 260
      Expat Geordie says:

      Perhaps it was deliberate. Perhaps he might be right.

      Like

    • 293
      Theory tester says:

      Any relation?

      Like

    • 322
      Lou Costello says:

      Sounds like MY Abbott– he was always telling me to suppose a lot of things. He was pretty much a suppository kind of guy, all things considered, when you figure who got it, and where, on any of his hare-brained schemes.

      Like

    • 336
      Don't Vote Labour says:

      The left / Fabians paint themselves as a fonts of all knowledge.

      Suppositories of apparent wisdom lodged in the arse of humanity is a fair analysis.

      Think how the eyes of the UK watered when it recently had Blair / Labour rammed up it ? Still bleeding now.

      Like

  62. 249
    Owen Jones says:

    Every Labour Government leaves this country with higher debt, higher taxes & higher unemployment. Not fit to govern .

    Like

  63. 250
    Ah! Monika reformed says:

    EIvis death: New information assessed by Scotland Yard

    Like

    • 261
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      New evidence throws light on murder of Abel.

      Was Cain innocent after all?

      Was there a second person on the grassy knoll?

      Like

      • 292
        Theory tester says:

        If Cain hadn’t killed Able, would the population now be twice the size?

        Like

        • 323
          Operation Yewtree says:

          Scotland Yard opening new strand to include Julius Caeser.

          Apparently some new evidence surrounding his murder has shown up and some documents revealed that he may have engaged in sex with minors in what looks like classical Bunga Bunga orgies.

          Still no word on implicated UK politicians being interviewed / charged though.

          Like

    • 268
      Expat Geordie says:

      Cast your mind back to the months leading up to Squashy Spice’s death. She was out of control and a national embarrassment. I remember stating at the time that it was about time someone slotted the bitch. I also remember my uncle, a war veteran who lost a leg to a landmine, shouting at his telly as she was prancing around in a minefield. What was he shouting? “Step on one you bitch!”
      So either someone in intelligence grew a pair and dealt with her (unlikely, following the absolute cock up made of dealing with Dr Kélly), or she went on a wild bender and was actually killed in a genuine and totally avoidable car crash.

      Like

      • 273
        Reporter says:

        They weren’t wearing seat belts. The bodyguard in the front seat was, and he survived.

        Like

        • 275
          Scotland Yard says:

          Actually we’ve had so many trips to Portugal on expenses dealing the the Brown’s friend’s child murder, that we’re bored with the place. And what with autumn coming on ‘n all, we thought it would be nice to spend some time in Gay Paree.

          Like

          • Dave Cameron, the Tit - sorry, Dick - in Number 10 says:

            Did someone say gay? Oooh, can I and my new friend Stephen come along?

            Like

          • Rumor Mill says:

            Is it true that David Cameron has a very large collection of Gladiator movies ?

            Any word on how long he could take on the tower of power when at college ?

            Like

    • 315
      Zorch, originally from planet a-Centauri I, now residing Groom Lake, Nevada USA, says:

      The existence of Area 51 has finally been officially confirmed by US Government, says it was the home of spy planes R&D during the Cold War, thus, the heavy security and secrecy.

      They WOULD say that, wouldn’t they?

      Like

  64. 252
    here all weak says:

    Saturday Seven Up still plodding along. No word from Guido about his Newspaper column yet so here is a quick precis of the news to alleviate the boredom.
    Ed Milibland under a tack? Always thought he was under the thumb of Len and the Unions.
    A legal limit will be imposed on the level of vibra-tions going through a tractor dri-ver’s body from Brussels. Bans on green cab-bage have yet to be announced.
    Reports that Chrisp Bry-ant is a dr@g mule are unfounded. The man may be a bit of a donkey but cross-dressing episodes have never been exposed though many do regard him as a dr@g on their party’s message.
    Cameron to protect Gibraltar’s rock. Blackpool sweet manu-facturers lodge appeal for similar support.
    Guido’s site like that of Clai-re Per-ry hacked this week. Fortunately not with p*rn just the ramblings of a Zio-nist extr-emist who tried to make every other thread about Je-w-ish or Pale-a-stinian problems. Blowing Whistles and Jaded Jean rumoured to have worn garlic necklaces and cruci-fixes to ward off evil spirits. They were not alone.
    Schrödinger’s cat tours Europe. FTSE undergoes a dip but value of the pound against the Eu-ro improves. Brew-ers droop still prevalent, despite report of improvement in alcohol sales.

    Like

    • 256
      here all weak says:

      To alleviate the boredom I try to post- Nothing extreme. No expletives. An attempt to support the site through simple participation but to no avail.
      Guido your algorithm [ because it would appear that the auto modbot is prohibiting big words] is useless

      Like

  65. 253
    Lard Pissclott of Shithull says:

    Ed needs to get his finger out and appoint people like me to his shadow cabinet – industious, astute and honest.

    Tracey! I’ve had nine of my ten bacon sarnies. When I’ve finished the tenth we’ll have a nice shag over the desk.

    Like

  66. 257
    Jonnie Prescott says:

    Ed stop messing about. Take Fatbott over the desk and give her a good seeing to.

    Like

  67. 258
    Owen Jones says:

    Egypt: “After torching a Franciscan school, Islamists paraded three nuns on the streets like “prisoners of war.” http://is.gd/7JJwiY

    These Islamists are trash !

    Like

    • 262
      Allan, you at t'bar says:

      It’s the religion of piss and misogynists.

      Like

    • 263
      George Galloway says:

      What kind of cowardly dogs are these men, to attack women and children and destroy their property? I hope the Egyptian military takes out every last one of them, they are no more than rabid pigs!

      Like

    • 269
      Expat Geordie says:

      There is an American company that produces pork coated ammunition (JiHawg Ammo I believe it is called). Perhaps the Egyptian Army should announce that it has just taken delivery of a rather large batch. Obviously for religious reasons the army should wear gloves when handling it so as to avoid disciplinary issues.

      Like

      • 306
        Tay King-dePisse says:

        “Obviously for religious reasons the army should wear gloves when handling it…”

        Call a Coptic.
        They’ll be glad to do it for you.

        Like

        • 321
          Expat Geordie says:

          Forgot about those. Are there any left?

          In Syria under Dr Assad (NHS trained killer) the shops and businesses were not allow to open until 10.00 am on a Sunday to allow Christians to go to Church. Is this still the case in areas “liberated” by the so called Free Syria Army (Al-Qaeda trained killers)?

          Like

      • 345
        More enlightened thought says:

        Perhaps a non lethal fragmentation style baton round containing pig fat would be better ?

        Think paint ball containing the stuff, or just a small caliber 9mm.

        Even though this would not kill, the deterrent effect would be good enough.

        If enclosed rather than placed outside the additional expense of gloves would not be needed and the operative as the operative would be protected.

        Like

    • 274
      Bob Fleming says:

      Coming to a town near you soon… I see the usual muslim apologists are very quiet. Where’s the condemnation?

      Like

    • 276
      The British Museum says:

      More importantly, they have trashed and looted some of the museums over there. Fortunately lots of the best stuff is over here.

      Like

    • 320
      Owen Jones Catholic Sympathizer says:

      If they are Catholic nuns, why should we care ?

      Like

  68. 264
    Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two bog seats, two Jags & Shags. says:

    ONE ASSASSINATION !!

    Like

  69. 266
    The Nelson Touch hits turbulent waters says:

    Meanwhile………Dave’s Task Force runs foul of the Health and Safety Regulations

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/gibraltar/10250366/Spanish-fishermen-stage-Gibraltar-protest-ahead-of-Royal-Navys-arrival.html

    Like

    • 300
      Realpolitik says:

      If they are in our water, or international: Sink them.

      Like

    • 366
      Anonymous says:

      The new reef is was never a fishing area. It was the anchorage for yachts for many years. It was also used by the smuggling boat when they took the produce back to La Linea.

      Every time there was thick fog the Gib Police boats and the smugglers would wage war around the yachts. It was extremely dangerous.

      The shutting down of the area is the best action they can do to stop the activities of the Spanish boats. We know the smugglers were Spanish as one was sunk in style by the British and the crew had to swim! The water was covered in cigarettes.

      Like

  70. 280
    Bin Effiz Khalidmen says:

    RACISTS !

    Like

  71. 283
    Sarah "Huge Tits" Beeny says:

    Fuck my tits!

    Has anyone else noticed the upturn of the property porn programmes on TV? They’re even pumping out repeats from 3-4 years ago.

    Things are looking up on property programmes market.
    Now’s the time to get in!

    Like

    • 339
      The folly of asset price bubbles says:

      This time it will likely be a damp squib.

      When people see the repeats, they should perhaps note how tacky these shows really were.

      And further note that the repeats indicate that no new programs have been made in between, or indeed purchased from the US.

      Justifies telly tax ?

      Like

  72. 286
    Theory tester says:

    SupercalifragilisticDIANAexpialidocious

    Like

  73. 287
    Living in 97.223% white Merseyside says:

    Just for the record I haven’t as usual bought the Current Bun today.

    Like

  74. 290
    Raptor says:

    “Pork-coated ammunition from American company JiHawg”…

    Not a good idea. That’s what led to the Indian Mutiny, which caused us a lot of trouble to put down.

    Of course, what the Americans did to their Indians was to exterminate them, and steal all their land.

    Like

    • 301
      Field Marshal Lord Jeffery Amherst says:

      Of course, they learned to do that from me, the theatre Commander-in-Chief in North America during the Seven Years War– I did such wonderful things as sell blankets infected with smallpox to the savages. Hey, what do you want, anyway? They were allies of the Froggies!

      Like

    • 314
      Expat Geordie says:

      That’s why I said that the army should wear gloves whilst handling it. Or they could just “let it be known” that they were issuing it – you wouldn’t have to actually follow up on that.

      Of course there is nothing new in this. The Americans used pork coated bullets against the Moro guerrillas in the Philippines at the start of the last century. And in India we let it be known that railway tracks were covered in pork grease to stop the muzzies blowing them up. We also let it be known that dead muzzzie tribesmen were being buried in unmarked graves wrapped in bacon, or with bacon stuffed in their mouths. Strangely enough, all of these methods did reduce muslim violence.

      Now when the 7/7 nutters blew themselves and a lot of other people up our spineless government handed over what was left of the bodies to the bombers families, who immediately shipped them to P@kíst@n for honourable funerals. Had we kept the bodies and buried them in pork I very much doubt that we would have any more problems.

      Like

  75. 291
    Owen Jones says:

    Ed Miliband is the new Neil Kinnock. Same Old Labour pic.twitter.com/6TGQyHNTZ0

    Like

    • 310
      David Ward says:

      I wonder at what point in Ed Miliband’s leadership demise that he decides to pull out the persecuted (sympathy vote) race card and says “is it cos’ I is Je*wish”?

      Like

  76. 295
    Owen Jones says:

    Right, sod this for a laugh, I’m off to Barcelona. Have a good gay week everyone. Byyyeeeeeeeeee!

    Like

  77. 298
    Robert_Dires says:

    Indy seems to be hinting most British want jobs for their own workers. 13 year old screams from the Nostromo?

    Like

  78. 299
    The Met Office Computer says:

    Why is it turning colder and wet now the summer’s nearly over. I never predicted that!

    I am infallible.

    Like

    • 318
      Focus Group says:

      And could Cameron be headed into a winter of discontent ?

      We certainly didn’t see that one coming. Honest.

      Like

      • 326
        UKIP or bust says:

        The left love a focus group.

        No ideas of their own and no courage to have an opinion before it is legitimized by group think.

        They despise individuality.

        Like

  79. 305
    In a nutshell: How to defeat Spain in war says:

    Start the attack before 10AM while they are still in bed.

    Like

    • 338
      out on bale says:

      Even simpler- kill two birds with one stone; -kidnap Messi and give them Terry.
      P*ss off Spain and Argentina, those comrades in arms with one swoop.

      Like

  80. 309
    In a nutshell: How to defeat any EU member state in war says:

    i) Launch a pre-emptive
    ii) Continue the main assault while they are messing about protesting to the EU
    iii) Say sorry to EU and plant flag on captured territory.

    Like

  81. 312
    Famou says:

    “Departure Lounge Dave”

    says it all really

    Like

    • 313
      Ad Hominem says:

      The carpet in a departure lounge is generally better quality.

      Like

    • 421
      Flight to Jordan leaves from Gate 8 says:

      Nice nickname. Presume that’s because he’s kicking out all the undesirables and their leeching families after Labour failed miserably after 13 years.

      Like

  82. 319
    Anonymous says:

    I notice that the 2015 election predictor on the Politics page of the Telegraph website – the one that fluctuates daily – hasn’t budged in over a week. I wonder why this could be? I wonder if the UKIP counter would show as being out of the starting blocks?

    Like

  83. 324
    lieing in 97.223% white Merseyside says:

    Err, I don’t read the sun, and I like, err, football an blair and I don’t read the sun or books and err, yeh, I don’t like the sun and, ohh my head hurts, too much thinking.

    Like

    • 329
      Expat Geordie says:

      And “denial” is a river in Egypt. And the truth, like you head, hurts, so you avoid it like the plague.

      Of course I saw plenty of scousers in the sun back in April when I was on holiday in Malta. You couldn’t move for the bastards – all public sector “workers”. I felt quite alone being the only “southerner”/private sector worker/tory there.

      Like

    • 333
      Anonymous says:

      I don’t know what to suggest. I was thinking Daily Star but I’ve no idea whether that paper bums Bliar. Then I thought Daily Mirror – contains words, though they carry no content; bums Labour, but not sure about its stance on Bliar. You’re hard to please.

      Like

  84. 328
    |Sir Sidney Bunberry-Dewdrop says:

    exactly

    Like

  85. 330
    P l e b says:

    Maybe Alan Johnson would make a nice contrast to David Cameron’s elitist old Etonian stereotypical Tory.

    The former postman verses the cynical PPE graduate who’s never done an honest days work in his life.

    I think it would work…….

    Like

    • 341
      FACT: Labour Killed on the NHS says:

      Yes – he, Bunham, Hewitt or perhaps one of the others with NHS patient’s blood on their hands would be very welcome.

      Bring out yer dead Labour ;-)

      Like

    • 422
      CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

      Johnson might have been employed as a postman, but he very soon became a PILGRIM union organiser at Royal Mail. I’m willing to bet he never even wore out the soles of one pair of shoes delivering Giro cheques to the underclass.

      Like

  86. 334
    a non says:

    I notice investigation into a case of assisted suicide making the news where family members could be prosecuted for helping a terminally ill loved one who wishes to end it all, to visit Dignitas in Switzerland.
    Ed, who must be feeling really down this week after being failed or attacked by fellow Socialists should not consider this exit strategy.
    Don’t do it Ed.
    DUEMA needs you, even if others don’t.

    Like

  87. 337
    Light Bulb for Dave says:

    Supposedly the chinks won’t do business in the UK if a 200 mile journey could be reduced by ten minutes.

    So instead of spending thirty billion pounds (and rising) on a train that will get Brummies to the smoke 10 minutes earlier and the Chinks to Brum. Why doesn’t Dave do something that would reduce international travel for everyone by two and a half hours and cost the government nothing?

    That is, do away with the 3 hour check in at airports that was introduced in 2001. Since then with new technology we are now able to pass through the scanners in just a couple of minutes and databases are in place to filter out the known baddies. This leaves us with two hours and fifty eight minutes with nowt to do but fall into the entrapment of the airside shopping mals which supposedly duty free usually cost more than Tescos on the way to the airport.

    Dave could announce the bleeding obvious is to be scrapped and that is the captive three hours airside which have nothing to do with security and all to to do with maxing out our credit cards by the airport operators.

    This would be immensely popular and the Chinks could leave Brum for Heathrow two and a half hours later than they would otherwise have had to.

    Like

    • 343
      More enlightened thought says:

      GBP 30 Billion for 10 minute saving works out at : GBP 3 billion / minute

      This is not good value for money.

      Shelving the current design, which is using out of date and over priced European technology and perhaps speaking with Ch!na about purchasing some of their high speed technology would be a smarter move.

      Cut the time by maybe 30 mins to an hour, probably for much less cost, and strengthen trade with Ch!na.

      Good opportunity as the challenge HS2 could pose would require joint Ch!nese / UK collaboration to hone some of the technology involved.

      This would be a much better project and use of capital than the current plan of waste proposed to prop up loser European train firms.

      Like

      • 346
        Thirty Billion is peanuts says:

        The HS2 high-speed rail project could cost more than £80bn – almost double the current estimated cost of £42.6bn, a free-market think tank has said.

        http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23744619

        Like

        • 348
          More enlightened thought says:

          Ok – So GBP 8 Billion / minute.

          This just smacks of one of those failed communist projects which led to many people starving because they could no longer afford or produce food.

          Like

          • One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

            £80 billion is super jolly spiffing! Don’t forget, my super peachy backhander will be a percentage of the final sum, so I’m jolly pleased the end price has rocketed (at high speed! gufff-haw haw haw haw!) from £32 billion to £80 billion. I just borrow the lolly in your name, give it to my super rich chummies in the construction industry, and wait for the big fat brown envelope to arrive on my doormat!

            Lots of super lolly for moi! Spiffing!

            Toodle pip!

            Like

          • have you ever noticed that the Islamic for Allah looks like the Loch Ness monster ? says:

            in this day and age centralizing this stuff is a bad idea some rumanian will just nick the signalling equipment, best spread the money about fixing what we already have and anybody can use the extra 20 minutes traveling as working time.

            Like

          • Don't Vote Labour says:

            Would be good as well if the money was spent getting rid of the Rumanian problem you mention from the country.

            Like

        • 460
          Anonymous says:

          £32bn to ~£42bn and now a figure of £80bn is being bandied about. I wonder how much of the adjustments are due to inflation??

          Like

      • 429
        Anonymous says:

        I bet there’s the option of non-out-of-date-and-over-priced technology of the European variety. Though, failing that, there’s always the option of getting on the blower to Japan – I bet the likes of Hitachi could supply some reliable kit.

        Like

  88. 340
    Little Boy Blue says:

    ‘TV actor recited nursery rhyme to me while we had sex when I was 15 and told me to wear my school uniform': Mail

    Any suggestions for the Nursery Rhyme?

    Like

  89. 342
    Dave Cameron, the Tit - sorry, Dick - in Number 10 says:

    Well, bugger me! :-)

    Like

  90. 344
    Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! says:

    Labour winning back voters under Miliband – Chuka Umunna

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-23744948

    Like

  91. 352
    human zoo says:

    Oh I see Dave is off on holiday again
    Portugal earlier in the year then the £11,000 villa in Ibiza and now the hideehole in Jura – on his father in laws 22,000 acre estate only reachable via a small boat from one of the other islands. God this bloke has a hard life – with anothr trip away to com shortly -h e must be running out of places to go! Unlike many of the population who have to rely on food banks
    Dave is a c’unt and all those who vote tory are too

    Like

    • 353
      Don't Vote Labour says:

      It does seem that he has gone in to hiding somewhat.

      Some could take this as proof that he is a spineless workshy yellow coward.

      Like

    • 360
      South Yorkshire Calling says:

      Jura is a fine place – 150 people and a lot of square miles.

      Hopefully he’ll have a look at the coastline and realise that climate change is nothing new. The beaches now 30m above the waves should tell him that.

      The Paps are good, too – spent a night up there…

      Like

      • 442
        South Yorkshire Calling says:

        Whilst he is there, though, he could do worse than head about 10 miles up the coast to visit the “Big Brother House” – Barnhill – where Orwell wrote 1984. He could contemplate on that and then decide whether to cast himself into the Corryvreckan whirlpool in shame, or decide that perhaps he should go back to upholding that promise of ‘tearing down big government’.

        Like

  92. 357
    Percy says:

    Geedes, spotted this this morning, http://www.theguardian.com/media/2013/aug/17/murdoch-news-international-corporate-charges
    about your beloved boss in Americaland, News UK or whatever it calls its self now still in the naughty boys club, your friend Rebekah Brooks up before the beak with eight others on Sept 9th and another 9 others in January next year (I hope you put a few articles up about how it is going, be the fearless journo as you claim).

    Like

    • 364
      Tony Blair (godfather to one of Murdoch's kids, and filmed kissing Rebekah) says:

      Murdoch is a dreadful man, isn’t he? I’m glad that under my watch, Labour had nothing to do with him.

      And as for Rebekah! *tsch* Terrible woman. Pure evil. We kept well away from her, thank God.

      Like

  93. 365
    Speaking Truth to power says:

    You’re all a bunch of twunts

    Like

  94. 376
    Fishy says:

    Miliband and Labour having:

    – Increasing immigration to ‘rub the right’s noses in it (knowing that grateful immigrants are more likely to vote labour).

    – Succeeded in maintaining the imbalance in constituency sizes (knowing that that gives Labour and automatic 45 seat start in a GE)

    – Pushed postal voting (aware that the Labour machine in some parts of the country were turning our electoral system into one ‘that would shame a banana republic’)

    Now want to introduce votes for 16 year olds (in the belief that they will be more likely to vote Labour)

    I remember a time when parties placed their policies before the electorate and allowed them to decide on their government – not put all of their efforts and energy into subverting democracy.

    Like

    • 387
      Labour's policies are like a steaming great pile of vomit says:

      “I remember a time when parties placed their policies before the electorate and allowed them to decide on their government”

      Yes, well that’s never ever going to work for Labour, so they went for Plan B, aka “subverting democracy.”

      Like

    • 388
      Paxmong's Beard (no relation to Mary) says:

      And yet Camermong has dine full all to reverse any of it.

      Like

  95. 382
    • 412
      My Other Ostrich Wears Foster-Grants says:

      National Service is a bit like ID cards. There is always someone peddling it as a solution for something or other, whether or not it would work.

      Like

  96. 385
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    Labour members still backing Ed Miliband are a major part of our demise too. Just a bunch of deluded ostriches in rose-tinted Ray-Bans.

    Like

    • 389
      Don't mix metaphores says:

      Surely ostriches don’t wear RayBans, rose-tinted or otherwise?

      Like

      • 395
        Point of Information 4 says:

        With no audit on International Aid that is a dangerous assertion to make.

        Like

      • 396
        George Orwell says:

        “[When images clash, such as]…’The Fascist octopus has sung its swan song’…it can be taken as certain that the writer is not seeing a mental image of the objects he is naming; in other words he is not really thinking.” (“Politics and the English Language,” essay, 1946)

        Like

      • 404
        Rose Tint says:

        Not so as anyone has filmed it

        Like

  97. 392
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    NEVER LET IT BE SAID THAT WE’RE DESPERATE TO STAY IN POWER…

    Like

    • 394
      Political Advise to the young says:

      Hey kids – vote UKIP !

      Like

      • 397
        Fishy says:

        They’re under 18 and they’re officially children…and your post has just attracted the attention of the Police, the ‘safeguarding’ authorities and the BBC desperate to deflect attention from their own problems.

        Next it’ll be, ‘Would you like to come down to the polling station and see some puppies’.

        Like

        • 399
          Political Advise to the young says:

          Next it’ll be, ‘Would you like to come down to the polling station and see some puppies’.

          – Have you just leaked the Liberal Democrat slogan for 2015 ?

          Like

      • 398
        RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

        YES !! YES !! YES !!!!

        Is that loud enough ??

        Like

      • 400
        UKID DING says:

        ukippers can’t spell advice

        Like

    • 403
      Vote LibLabCon for sexual abuse by immigrant grooming gangs says:

      One hopes that the young are made aware of all the issues so their ballots can be cast fairly.

      Like

      • 406
        Abdul the envelope stuffer from Lahore says:

        Yes, sir, indeed. We are telling all the children in our envelope stuffing factory what they are voting for. Very often. Thanking you.

        Like

      • 411
        RED LEN says:

        Message for Southern jessies – vote ukip !!

        Like

        • 413
          Reality says:

          Message for those North of Watford:

          Vote UKIP if you don’t want to be forced into prostitution to feed your families.

          Like

          • UKID DING says:

            DESPERATE !

            Like

          • Conumdrum says:

            Hmm. What if I want to vote UKIP, and I’d quite like to be forced into prostitution to feed my family?

            I’ve a lovely vision of beautiful women such as Pamela Anderson or, I don’t know, I’m a bit out of touch, a young Kate Bush, knocking on my door and waving wads of money in my face because they’d like to have sex with me. What’s her name from the X-Files, she’s still good looking, too. I think it was her birthday the other day.

            I’d quite like this. It’s better than what I do for a living, which is quite boring.

            Like

          • Reality says:

            You could give that a try right now and see what happens.

            If you like it, vote LibLabCon for a better Britain.

            Like

          • Conumdrum says:

            “If you like it, vote LibLabCon for a better Britain.”

            Yeah, right.

            A better Britain with LibLabCon.

            Good one!

            Like

        • 414
          and pigs might fly says:

          Good luck with that.
          Normal sixteen year olds are nocturnal monosyllabic morons.I should know I’ve had three of them.Even if they were bothered about politics,I doubt they’d get to the polling station before it closed.

          Like

          • Fatbot says:

            What, no lift?

            Raciiiist!

            Like

          • Eric Holder, US Attorney General, says:

            “I doubt they’d get to the polling station before it closed.”

            It wouldn’t be a problem in the USA. In keeping with our policy to foil all attempts by Republicans to put some honesty and integrity into the holding of elections, such as with Voter ID requirement laws, we do things like go and get Court orders insisting all polling places remain open as late as necessary (that is, till all our coachloads of repeat voters have gone to every station in the electoral district and voted). This also has the additional effect of allowing bone-idle welfare recipients and idiotic college kids (who have also mail-voted “absentee” in their home towns) to show up after the posted closing times, so they do not have to stand in line and mix with the actual voters who naively took the closing time seriously.

            We are not quite there in turning our elections into the corrupt total farces that they are in the UK, but we are striving mightily to catch up.

            Like

  98. 393
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    BBC Lied in to Pollard Investigators

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2396511/MPs-demand-new-BBC-report-Jimmy-Savile-abuse-scandal.html

    – Well, who’d have guessed that ?

    Like

    • 408
      Skeptic says:

      Of course there are people at the BBC who have lied. They have lied about what they knew, who they knew and about what they did or failed to do, which assisted Savile in his activities or to cover them up. Some may have joined in.

      Like

      • 410
        The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

        Any and all who assisted in the cover up, even after Savile died, are accessories and involved.

        They lied to protect their jobs and pensions.

        If proven they should be stripped of these and jailed.

        Like

        • 434
          BBC nonce protectors says:

          The BBC were probably having a great laugh at joe public when they put together their vomit inducing Christmas special tribute show back in 2011 knowing full well what savile had been up to for decades.

          Like

          • The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

            That is a credible image which should be projected in order to further kill their arrogance.

            In reality they were probably shitting themselves, hoping that the XMas special would be enough to leave some good memories and victims would keep quiet.

            Either way it is irrelevant is some respects now.

            The BBC brand is finished, and good riddance to it.

            Like

        • 462
          Paxmong's Beard (no relation to Mary) says:

          To get the cuunts at the BBC who covered up for Saville and others it actually required fat plod to get off his lardy arse and go do some investigation.

          Seems that these days plod only responds when someone tweets something.

          Totally fucking useless.

          Like

    • 415
      The BBC are cunts says:

      :)

      Like

    • 417
      Sit Petra% says:

      The idea that an organisation which has got so much to hide that it needs to spend hundreds of thousand of pounds on legal fees trying to suppress the Balen report can then conduct an objective enquiry into itself is ludicrous, rotten from the top down. How are the police getting on with the frauds committed by BBC executives with the massive pay offs? do tell Fatty Pang!.

      Like

  99. 426
    Peter Hain says:

    Ed Milliband always looks nice and brown. Any idea what he uses to get that effect?

    Like

  100. 427
    Ed Miliband says:

    We raised the age of smoking to 18 because 16 year olds do not know what they are doing.

    To drink alcohol you must be 18 because 16 year olds do not know what they are doing.

    The age of criminal responsibility is 18 because 16 year olds do not know what they are doing.

    You must be 18 to serve in the Army because 16 year olds do not know what they are doing.

    We will give the vote to 16 year olds and encourage 16 year olds to vote labour because 16 year olds do not know what they are doing.

    We lowered the age of gay sex because 16 year olds do not know what they are doing.

    We buggered the country and are in opposition because we do not what we are doing.

    Like

  101. 431
    Three cheers for Maggie on Maggie Thatcher Day says:

    Margaret Thatcher Day Bill

    Presentation and First Reading (Standing Order No. 57)

    Mr Peter Bone, supported by Mr Philip Hollobone, Mr Christopher Chope, Mr David Nuttall, Philip Davies, Mr Douglas Carswell, Mr Graham Brady and Dr Julian Lewis, presented a Bill to make provision that the annual Bank Holiday Monday in late August be known as Margaret Thatcher Day.

    http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201314/cmhansrd/cm130624/debtext/130624-0001.htm#13062415000008

    Like

    • 432
      No more boom and bust says:

      There will also be a Gordon McMental BRown day celebrated on the 29th February three years in a row with a break on the fourth year.

      Like

    • 443
      The Public says:

      With all due respext to everyone involved, and to the late Margaret Thatcher herself, this is an utter waste of parliamentary time. The country has serious problems which need dealing with and this kind of tokenistic nonsense is not a priority. Back to the student union with all of you.

      Like

    • 450
      P l e b says:

      Don’t they realise how much that woman was hated? Do they really believe people will call it that?

      Like

      • 453
        Maggie the best PM ever and still pisses off the left -- job done says:

        Hated only by idiots like you and those that create disaster for this country like the left and the lefties. I am so pleased you show precisely the nastiness of the left. She beat you hands down left right and centre she absolutely kicked you out of the park. She was loved by a fuck more than you irrelevant dicks so just take your left wing country busting union views and suck it up suck it up pal. Even in death she still pisses you off. Made my day that has. Hahahah!!
        Maggie Maggie Maggie yeah yeah yeah!!!!

        Like

      • 454
        The grocers daughter says:

        Pleb
        You need to get out a little more you really do. They detested Blair and Brown far more than Mrs Thatcher in fact most respected her whatever side of the political spectrum. That’s the point Labour can’t handle which is why Harriet Harman left her name out of the women achievements list drawn up by Labour. She remains accepted the best PM of modern times and no Labour PM will ever come close.

        Like

        • 456
          The Public says:

          I agree with you. I also think that wasting parliamentary time on this pointless token gesture is a huge error. It shows all involved to be trivial people concerning themselves with trivia. The country expects better.

          Like

          • The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

            This is just a distraction from Europe problems, economy and the ongoing historical and recent child abuse scandals.

            Whilst Westminster burns, the mongs fiddle.

            Like

  102. 433
    Hoots! It's Clown says:

    Tonight I am making a life-size scale model of matchsticks using only matchsticks.

    Like

  103. 441
    Fishy says:

    I see that UNITE are about to bring Jaguar Land-Rover to it’s knees with a strike about opening up another production line, this time in China.

    The Communists in the unions, having taken over the Labour party, are flexing their muscles…it is anathema that companies be successful – they desperately need people on the dole or on short time, just as they did in the 60’s and 70’s when they played the major part in destroying Britain’s manufacturing base and its economy.

    Over to you Ed. What do you have to say about your bosses in UNITE?

    Err? Thethe stwiketh are wrong….at a time when negothiathions are thtill going on…

    Like

  104. 457

    Today travelled to Fécamp and bought two bottles of Bénédictine Single Cask and a bottle of the standard fare.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B%C3%A9n%C3%A9dictine

    Then to Calais for a steak-au-poivre at the fantastic Au Calice Brasserie, which stays open from 08:00 to 02:00 each day. The other useless restaurants all close at 10:00.

    And so to bed. ;-)

    Like

    • 472
      Tachybaptus says:

      Calais? Are you thinking of visiting us?

      Like

    • 479
      albacore says:

      Happily, our Fluffy’s appetite’s back
      After that recent nocturnal attack
      He still bears a Frankenstinian mien
      Fur all shaved off where the stitches have been
      But he wears it well and just tucked away
      His first epicurean dish today –
      Some antibiotics-sprinkled chicken
      With his favourites – to get him lickin’

      Like

  105. 466
  106. 467
    Fairy says:

    Like

  107. 478

    If Tony Blair was irritated by the Prince’s public interventions over sensitive policy areas (Independent), then I am all in favour of the latter’s actions.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

The Douglas Carswell Shock | Tim Stanley
Carswell is a True Moderniser | Charles Moore
Assembling a New World Order | Henry Kissinger
India’s Modi Bypasses Mainstream Media | Index
Bercow on the Knife Edge | Quentin Letts
Welcome to Mississippi | Conservative Women
LibDems Select Hancock Replacement | Blue Guerilla
Carswell Resigning: “Moment Labour Won Election” | Labour Uncut
Why We Need Change | Douglas Carswell
The Howard Roark of Westminster | Guardian
Carswell, the Clacton Cassandra | James Ford


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Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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