August 12th, 2013

That Shadow Cabinet Support in Full

The defence of Ed so far has consisted of MPs saying the leader can’t do it all alone and needs support from his team. So just where are the Shadow Cabinet, and what have they been doing to help their leader during his summer woes? A co-conspirator passes Guido this list:

Ed Miliband – hasn’t tweeted since 22 July
Ed Balls – hasn’t tweeted since 26 July
Yvette Cooper – hasn’t tweeted since 27 July
Hilary Benn – hasn’t tweeted since 24 July
Angela Eagle – hasn’t tweeted since 27 July
Liam Byrne – hasn’t tweeted since 26 July
Michael Dugher – hasn’t tweeted since 30 July

Call in the support… hello? Anyone…


  1. 1
    Grauniad Lackey says:

    Some sda barstad doing the nubmers


    • 21
      Gooey Blob says:

      Shows they’re all lying low. Nobody wants to be associated with Ed Miliband and what looks likely to be a disaster for the party in 2015.


      • 48
        Peter "Puffy" Lefeuvre says:

        I’m not, necessarily, a partaker of The Socialists’ hairy arsehole, but isn’t Tweeting is for total wankers?


      • 55
        Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

        Get down to the bookies and put a bet on a Tory landslide of 1983 or 1987 style proportions before the odds shorten.


        • 63
          Anti-Rentier Alliance says:

          wouldn’t bet on it. The body count and unrest are mounting. People are wising up and getting organised. The country will be ungovernable by 2015 at this rate.


          • Look at Belgium says:

            could be a good thing with no elected politicians ruling.

            They are all enjoying a long recess, or to them holiday, to us go and live in your constituency.

            In the nineteenth century when the politics appeared to deliver success, be it not get in the way. They never met their friends aboard or holidayed aboard. No TV or radio but plenty of local newspaper.

            During the recess tag our MPs and instruct them to work, rest and play within their constituency.

            Belgium very recently got along fine without an elected government.


          • dead silent says:

            How did the camera person capture this lot with their mouths all shut together. There is always several wittering on and on about something.


          • Anonymous says:

            Wishful thinking on your part auntie, i have never known a time when people were so apathetic ! as long as they can still have their hols abroad etc the majority will just carry on as before after giving Labour a good kicking in 2015 !


          • Jack Ketch says:

            Dear M. Look at Belgium,
            Sir, I would remind you that no one actually noticed Belgium throughout the 20th C apart from a few weeks in 1914 and a week in 1945.
            You will be aware that the country only exists because George IV’s son-in-law needed a job and the British and German armies needed somewhere to practice shooting each other.


          • Yeah, right... says:

            You would think so wouldn’t you?

            However, a few more Express headlines about house prices rising and a new series of Britains Got Talent should put a smile on everyone’s face again.


          • Toothbrush hole-maker of yesteryear (it's all metric these days) says:

            It is my view that people noticed Belgium on that famous weekend when some tits made noises about bendy cucumbers and/or bananas.


        • 64
          Mornington Crescent says:

          1983-style, I reckon. All we need are the Argies or the Spaniards to have a crack at the Falklands or Gib and it really will be just like old times.


          • Bloke says:

            They’re on holiday stoopid! What’s the point of being a member of the zombie political elite if you can’t switching your effing phone off for a couple of effing months in the effing summer whilst you relax and let other effing twats work to send you your monthly emoluments ffs??


    • 51
      Jimmy says:

      And he got it wrong anyway – Ed Balls sent two tweets only yesterday. But then the facts never were very important to right wing racist whites.


      • 65
        discrimination says:

        What about us right wing racist blacks Jimmy.?
        You trying the Di Abbott divide and conquer ploy again.


      • 68
        Tachybaptus says:

        Jimmy, you seem to be getting more and more extreme and desperate in your insults. Are you nettled by the hopelessness of your Dear Leader?


      • 86
        Anonymous says:

        Slags people for being racist, does so by reference to the shade of their hide.

        You sir have won today’s Internets.


      • 88
        Jim says:

        Only lunatics would want to ‘tweet’ on holiday.
        It is probably popular amongst ‘Guido’ enthusiasts


      • 97
        Anonymous says:

        They were so memorable nobody read them !


      • 98
        who tweets what says:

        doubt if these politicians compose these tweets; their personal office under the guidance of party management would produce this.

        Look at it another way now that David Miliband is outside the political machinery left to his own devices his latest article has produced gobbledegook in every sentence.


    • 77
      Sir Barrington Minge says:

      Complete bunch of fucking tweets..or should that be twats?


    • 118
      Len MaCluskey says:

      When the leader of the Labour Party has a holiday so does ed .


  2. 2
    Steve Miliband says:

    Peter Hain tweets: ”V strong and assured performance by @Ed_Miliband on holidays”


  3. 3
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Have you seen these men or women, if so call Crime Stoppers now.


  4. 4
    broderick crawford says:

    is that cameron at the back on the right ?

    his hair’s gone white ….


  5. 5
    Ed 'shhhh' Balls says:

    You ain’t seen me….roight?


  6. 6
    Diane Abbotapotumus says:

    You can count on me to tweet critical thought though.


    • 35
      Light Work Day says:

      Dianne is always busy. What was it today? Whitey should be shipped off in cattle trucks and gassed? But she’s not really on holiday. She’s gone home to the best country in the world


  7. 7
    Anti-Rentier Alliance says:

    spending more time with their property portfolios


  8. 8
    mraemiller says:

    You say that like it’s a bad thing


  9. 9
    broderick crawford says:

    liam byrne hasn’t tweeted since may 2010 coz there’s no more money for his intrnet subscription.


  10. 11
    Anti-Rentier Alliance says:

    new fingerprint sensing iPhone out shortly, which will send your prints off to NSA, GCHQ, fuzz local environmental health etc etc To compete with the Google phone that always listens to you, and the cam is almost on.


    • 20
      Sir Jimmy Saville says:

      If you’ve got nothing to hide you have nothing to fear, especially on a BBC contract.


  11. 12
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls


  12. 13
    Anonymous says:

    It’s almost as if they’ve all gone on holiday…


  13. 14
    Chris Underpants says:

    I made a right tweet of myself today.


  14. 15
    Tap it unwrap it says:


  15. 16
    PC Dixon says:

    What a load of incompetent amateurs – most of whom made a real pigs ear of running things before – and that is the team waiting to run Great Britain – Frightening isn’t it ?


  16. 18
    No such thing as society says:

    Surely politicians not bombarding us 24/7 is a good thing? Take call me Dave for example you ant switch on the TV without him climbing on any bandwagon or clambering over a child’s corpse to get on the news with some pearl of focus group wisdom.


  17. 19
    Stephen Fry says:

    Intelligent people don’t use twitter. So this surprises me.


  18. 23
    Dr Stangelove says:

    Yeah, great stuff, Guido. So nobody in the Labour Party has done anything since July. What year are you referring to?


  19. 24
    Gordon Brown says:

    Ed has my full support.

    I wish him all the best.


  20. 26
    Light Work Day says:

    Surely MPs, or anyone, not twatting is a good thing.

    It’s hardly surprising. They’re all on exotic beaches on funded non-working trips.

    How many Tory Twats have twatted?


  21. 29
    Ellie-Mae (8) says:

    Is that the “victims of the ugly-bat” convention?


  22. 30
    Andrew Efiong says:

    What’s worse is that half these Twitter accounts are operated by bag-carrying stooges. You’d think they’d be able to come up with a rota.

    But no, they can’t even run a Twitter account, yet alone a whelk stall.


  23. 32
    Owen Jones says:

    Owen Jones will reveal secret documents that Margaret Thatcher loathed William Hague and he will resign soon. Story coming soon


  24. 33

    I think Ed wants them to stay quiet. Every time one of them opens their mouth they do something stupid.


  25. 34
    Andrew says:

    Guido, please don’t encourage them. Silence is golden.


  26. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like synchronised moratorium on tweeting.


  27. 37
  28. 38
    Mr.Ed the talking horse says:

    I am busy writing my thpeech for the Confewence. Alweady I have inluded “tax cuts fow Millionaiwes” 8 times, “bedwoom tax” 7 times, “one nation” 10 times and “too faw too fatht” 5 times. Is thith alwight LEN?


  29. 39
    Ah! Monika reformed says:

    dddddd ffffff


  30. 41
    Point of Information 4 says:

    Shadow cabinet are probably distancing themselves from Bryant and Abbot, and perhaps are off for Common Purpose reprogramming at the loony left farm.

    Or they are in hiding or on an extended foundation course sponsored by Co-Op creditors.


    • 45
      Polly not in Tuscany says:

      No. They’re all here actually at my villa in Umbria. We’re running a few courses on how to move to the left even further, the guest lecturers are all funded by my Unite friends.


      • 47
        David says:

        This worries me. Lynton, can you make sure please that they do not move further to the left than we are working towards. And that if they do, you still have a strategy in place to get us the win.


    • 71
      Mahatma Coat says:

      They have been rounded up and are undergoing The Ludovico Technique


  31. 43
    Penfold says:

    It’s deafening, the silence.

    So much for the loyal opposition………sic.


  32. 44
    rwGOM says:



  33. 50
    In the silence, the clarion call of the good says:

    Vote UKIP


  34. 53
    Living in 97.223% white Merseyside says:

    Has that nice Mr Blair got a Twitter account?


  35. 54
    Spotted in Cuba - The two Eds says:


  36. 56
    Bert the Builder says:

    personally I never want to see or hear from any of them again.


  37. 58
    Chris Bryant says:

    For my holidays I’m going backtracking.


  38. 62
    King Dick says:

    Under Labour, some households were getting more in benefits than many hardworking families could ever dream of earning. Claims were out of control.
    It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair, and that’s why we’re putting an end to it.

    The Benefit Cap is now in its final stage of being rolled out. Claimants across the country will have their benefits capped to the equivalent of the average salary of a working family.

    About time too…………..


    • 81
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      Still far too high.

      It should be reduced to two thirds of the minimum wage (say £10,000) from next April.

      Hopefully Osborne will announce it in the November pre-budget report.


    • 90
      Jim says:

      Are the ‘thieving bankers’ and ‘corporate welfare queens’ retaining their benefits?


      • 102
        Anonymous says:

        They arent on benefits they work, ever heard of it?


        • 104
          Jim says:

          It is estimated that the ‘work’ done by the ‘thieving bankers’ – some say ‘corporate welfare queens’ as a result of bailouts, subsidies etc is likely to be £1.4 trillion. Is that the sort of ‘work’ you had in mind?


        • 105
          Jim says:

          It is estimated that the total bill for bailing out the ‘thieving bankers’ some say ‘corporate welfare queens’ will be £1.4 trillion.
          Is that the sort of work of which you approve?


  39. 66
    Labours new and highly recommended reverse-psychology strategy for 2015 says:


     _____                       __   
    |     \.-----. .-----.-----.|  |_ 
    |  --  |  _  | |     |  _  ||   _|
    |_____/|_____| |__|__|_____||____|
     ___ ___         __         
    |   |   |.-----.|  |_.-----.
    |   |   ||  _  ||   _|  -__|
     \_____/ |_____||____|_____|
     _____          __                     
    |     |_.---.-.|  |--.-----.--.--.----.
    |       |  _  ||  _  |  _  |  |  |   _|


  40. 67
    Guido, channelling his inner LaVern Baker, says:

    “Hubba hubba honeydew,
    I’m gonna keep my eye on you,
    ‘Tweet’-ly ‘Tweet’-ly Dumb…”


  41. 72
    St Ephanie of Flanders says:

    Which Ed is the leader.


    • 75
      Chukka says:

      Hi Steph. Remember me?
      Can you lie down and unbutton your blouse. I want a good flat surface to iron my tie..


  42. 73
    Green twat says:

    The world is going to end tomorrow if we don’t protest today!


  43. 76
    Observer says:

    Is tweeting the test of anything apart from idiocy?


  44. 79
    R Turd rolled in glitter- Labour's political strategist. says:

    Well the conference will soon be upon us and Len McCluskey is rehearsing his Red Flag routine for the grand finale.


  45. 83

    Call that support….I call it a liberty.


  46. 84
    Holly says:

    Them faces????
    Scary bunch of shit heads.


    • 106
      Jim says:

      How vulgar and uncouth.
      Is it fair to assume that you are a graduate from the lunatic wing of the ‘Guido’ school of Political Philosophy?
      Political debate is fast approaching the sewers under such vile guidance.


  47. 85
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    If you pan out of the picture you would see a guy holding a placard with “Thugs, Psycopaths & Losers” written on it.


  48. 91
    Fishy says:

    Ed, They’re right behind you.


  49. 107
    The suppository of wisdom says:

    Like most rats, they’ve run for cover. Welcome to politics, Ed!


  50. 108
    Post hoc says:

    LBC: “What is the point of the Labour party?”
    Radio phone-in stooge: “The Party of the Working Man blah blah minimum wage blah blah posh tory rich boys blah blah blah blah blah zzzz z z z zzz z z z!
    LBC: “Are you a lifelong Labour voter?”
    Stooge: “Yes”


  51. 110
    Jack Ketch says:

    I think that the entire Labour leadership are re-training to become Cork Soakers, Coke Sackers, Sock Cutters, Sark Clutters, Clock Slackers—-sorree, I am having trouble with my predictive text function.


  52. 112
    I fuckin luvs Marxist spunk i does, Stephanie says:

    labourite parliamentary filth are fucking even more lazy than the labourite cu’nts wot get paid by the bbc


  53. 114
    Geraldo says:

    To be fair, Angela Eagle wouldn’t know where she was coming from most of the time. no real surprise there then. Just like her sister. Something to do with the Treasury is her thing but experience she has none. Just like most of them. You wonder where they get them from. If only they actually cared for Great Britain. May we rest in peace and something have mercy on all our souls. You could actually laugh at what they have done to this country. Can we not get intelligent people in parliament to do things for all of us.?


  54. 115
    The Critic says:

    Tweeting doth not a government in waiting make.

    Given the complete shambles of the last week or so, perhaps they have gone into hiding,or better still resigned.


  55. 120
    Tom Catesby says:

    ‘Where is everybody?’ On their jolly holidays. Doubless many of them will have more time to spend with their families at the seaside after the next GE.


  56. 122
    Bliar says:

    ‘Doesn’t ANYBODY have a gun!?’


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