August 9th, 2013

LibDems Hiring Anti-Sleaze Officer

After sex scandal, after dodgy sex scandal the Liberal Democrats are hiring an anti-Rennard/Hancock officer:

From: Tim Gordon 
Date: 8 August 2013 14:10
Subject: Pastoral care at the Liberal Democrats


The Liberal Democrats are recruiting a Pastoral Care Officer, following the independent inquiry carried out and published by Helena Morrissey in June 2013.

The post-holder will be responsible for monitoring any complaints, ensuring they are recorded and resolved, arranging appropriate Pastoral Care Services if required, and acting as Safeguarding Officer in the Party for young people and vulnerable adults.

The job specification and application pack are here.

The closing date for applications is 9am on Monday 2 September. If you know someone who is suitable for this role, please forward this email to them.

Best wishes,

Tim Gordon
Chief Executive, Liberal Democrats

What’s that Lembit chap up to these days?


  1. 1
    More than likely says:

    …his balls in some idiot…

  2. 2
    Liberal Elite. says:

    Little wonder that the two Liberal establishments the BBC and the LibDems are suffering the same type of scandals.

    • 5
      Vote UKIP get Hard Labour says:

      Little Ed tops The Unions “Most Wanted” list.

      • 85
        Agamemnon says:

        And who is going to “supervise” this individual. Or is he/she going to be the procurer (fiscal).

  3. 3
    And? says:
  4. 7

    Shouldn’t the new post title be,”Lib-Dem VIP Whitewash Officer”? ‘cos that’s what he/she’ll be doing in practice.

    • 20
      albacore says:

      Oh Lor’, a shepherd to guide the little lambs?
      Judging by all the diverse LibLabCon scams
      That guy’s going to have such a long waiting list
      His best strategy’s just to go and get pissed

  5. 8
    Meanwhile in a Galaxy not far away. Chuka writes to the water board. says:
    • 23
      Water Company says:

      Yes, we could fix most of the leaks, but it would cost, know what I mean? We’ve got executive salaries to pay. And we’d have everyone grumbling about digging up the roads, innit? So frankly we can’t be arsed and it’s easier to stick a hosepipe ban on every time it doesn’t rain much. Let sleeping dogs lie, I say.

      • 28
        Biffo says:

        Unfortunately, you’ve probably hit the nail exactly on the head. When is our Gutless Wonder (Camoron) going to actually concentrate on sorting out the country’s problems?

    • 25
      Idon'tneednodoctor says:

      Ummuna is really plumbing the depths to get a mention in the press.

  6. 9
    nellnewman says:

    O/T sorry but this is how those overpaid CEO’s of charities spend donations we give to help the poor, on their own personal birthday parties held in the HoL being feted by the likes of militwit!

    • 15
      ã says:
    • 72
      Tom Catesby says:

      Anyone feeling strongly about misdirection of charitable funds, either in large salaries, overheads, ‘glad handing’ or just corrupt, tyrants (i.e. African heads of state and friends) pocketing the funds. The answer is simple, don’t donate, the poor and hungry won’t get it in any case and if any body thinks that’s just an excuse to ‘ease’ any misplaced feelings of ‘guilt’, ask yourself if the bunch of crooks ripping off the charities, give a flying f^^k.

    • 94
      Eloc yrrah says:

      So there we have it at last, it is the leaders of these countries that bleed their own people, so that they can live like billionaires, but hasn’t it always been through the ages from time immemorial, it bought down the Czars (mind you the Russian nobility were not beyond doing away with their rivals), the French monarchy. Christ said that the poor will always be with us which is very true, but that does not excuse their mistreatment deliberate or not, profiteering at the expense of the poor and starving without alleviating it, is mistreatment.

  7. 10
    Sir William Waid says:

    The Liberal Democrats


    I, ………………………… wish to engage in a sexual relationship with ……………………. of …………………….and hereby request permission to do so

    I hereby certify the other party to this relationship is:

    Over 16;
    Of sound mind;
    Not currently in an apparently stable relationship with another person;
    Without politically embarrassing opinions or connections;
    Not in a relation of dependence towards me; and
    Unlikely to be of interest to ‘Heat’ magazine

  8. 11
    Ladd Renard of ReallyDirtyThings says:

    ” . . . acting as Safeguarding Officer in the Party for young people and vulnerable adults.”

    F*ck this for a lark

  9. 13
    chris huuhne says:

    Do you need a driving licence?
    Is a stable relationship a pre? [FYI. My partner's a horse]
    This post-holder suggestion. Will it be a large post? I do not wish to apply if the post is too heavy.
    Could it just be a firing post? I have previous experience.

  10. 14
    Don't Vote Labour says:

    Chris Huhne could be a safe pair of hands.

    • 31
      Di Abbo says:

      For your eyes only.

      Dear Tim,
      Not a safe pair of hands but I do have safe pairs of glands- Parotid, sub-mandibular and sub-lingual.
      I would be quite willing to cross the floor and apply for the position if extra meal vouchers are included.
      Have nothing on at the moment with Labour in freefall and my constituents shelling kids like peas.
      Ah, peas and rice, and gumbo, and kebabs, and …..

      Yours faithfully…….

  11. 16
    Anonymous says:

    But what after all these months are they doing about the cases already on the books.Pregnant silence?

    • 18
      Propaganda Watch says:

      No. Just waiting the minimum 3 months for the news cycles to move on and the issue to have passed from the general public’s consciousness.

  12. 27
    Pastoral Care Officer says:

    I’m looking forward to the LibDem annual conference. All that eavesdropping in bars and bursting into people’s hotel bedrooms with my Morality Police!

    I’m organising a ’5 am bell’, like they had in Edwardian country houses, to remind everybody to return to their own beds before the servants were about.

    • 60
      Nanny Mcfee says:

      Make them wear boxing gloves in bed to stop them playing with their willy.

      • 80
        LimpDem PR dept says:

        New Lib-Dem motto will be “Hands off cocks, on with socks”

  13. 32

    Cameron orders war ships to Gibralta
    I Thay Chaps , go over there and bore them to death !

    The fleet leaving Henley yesterday

  14. 34
    The NSA says:

    We’d be happy to monitor and record complaints, in fact we’ll monitor and record everything.

    Oh, wait! We already are…

  15. 35
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    Why can’t we be told how many members the Tory Party has?

    • 40
      Anonymous says:

      They are best ignored except for occasional use for entertainment purposes.

    • 42
      Living in 97.223% white Merseyside says:

      It’s 2.8 million Mehdi although exactly where they’re all chewing the cud I cannot say.

    • 50
      albacore says:

      Well, although the current lot are all pricks
      You’d need a big box of conjuring tricks
      To come up with one with a single ball
      Conserving ain’t Dave’s “Tory’” way at all

  16. 39
    Anonymous says:

    This new appointment by the Liberal Democrats is likely to have, at most, an intermittent workload.

    Naturally best practice will be followed and it is therefore offered as a zero hours contractual basis.

  17. 45
    The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

    Labour lead down to 4% – Latest YouGov/The Sun results – Con 34%, Lab 38%, UKIP 12%, LD 9%

    More clear evidence that UKIP are getting a hell of a lot of their support from non-Tory voters. As the Labour lead has narrowed significantly the UKIP share is still hovering around the 12% mark.

    So once again the juvenile claim ‘Vote UKIP get Labour’ is shown to be a load of simplistic bollocks.

    • 52
      Living in 97.223% white Merseyside says:

      UKIP are beginning to lose their sting. Next thing we know Nige will be having all-women and effnicks only shortlists.

      • 54
        BBC 24 Hr rolling bollocks says:

        I think UKIP are benefiting from the Bongo Bounce.

        • 58
          The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

          So lets get this right, if Bongo Bongo Land is certain areas of Africa, Hongo Kongo land is East Asia and Drongo Drongo land is Australia, is Mongo Mongo land part of South East Europe?

    • 64
      The electorate are playing with the politicians says:

      Might be juvenile BUT still true nonetheless. AS the economy picks up the Tory lead will increase and in any event you cannot read opinion polls in relation to support for UKIP as likely to be repeated in a General Election in 2015. People will undoubtedly vote UKIP in 2014 EUROPEAN Elections but most people who are of Tory persuasion know that a vote for UKIP in a general election is a wasted vote that will let in Labour. UKIP have absolutely no chance of securing a Westminster MP they are purely a party for dissent in relation to domestic politics and a way of hitting the Tory leadership without actually when it comes to it damaging Tory chances in a UK General Election

      • 81
        Our EU membership fee: 20 billion reasons to vote UKIP says:

        “a vote for UKIP in a general election is a wasted vote”

        No. With Labour set for 76 seat majority, it’s a vote for Dimmy Dave’s Cons that’s the wasted vote.

        Let’s look quickly at Dimmy Dave Camoron’s achievements:

        He promised to reduce the UK’s debt. He’s doubled it.
        He promised to reduce immigration to “a few tens of thousands”. Last year he let in more than half a million.

        Next year he holds open the door to 29 million Romanians.

        We cannot afford another five years of Dimmy Dave. Put a nail in his political coffin by voting UKIP. It’s not a wasted vote if it gets rid of Dimmy Dave.

        • 84
          Why doesn't Cameron and his wanker mates fuck off and start their own party? says:

          You can’t bake a Conservative cake without breaking bad eggs like Cameron and his common purpose comrades.

        • 87
          More Dave garbage... says:

          “simplify the tax code” , “bonfire of the quangos”, “we’re helping ordinary people”.

          All utter crap from the lying tosser.

        • 95
          Village Idiot says:

          ….Having voted tory since the 70′s and not having the country I would have liked,i shall be voting UKIP at every opportunity as I/we have nothing more to lose and I cannot vote for a blackmailing party that does not really have the will to leave the eu. However,at present,Dave is best at the helm but they will have to win without my vote!!

      • 92
        Propaganda Watch says:

        The politicians are the servants of the people: If the people wish to play then play they will. This line does imply that politicians are toys rather than effective tools of state. Which is what the public have learned.

        A vote for a party or cause you believe in, or feels best will provide the best representation is never a wasted vote.

        Unless the implication is that the vote itself is rigged and you are wasting your time voting for one of the parties that has not been predetermined to get a certain amount of the vote.

      • 93
        Anonymous says:

        Voting UKIP seems a better option than my usual tick for “NOTA” !

  18. 48
    Mike Hancock says:

    Nice and sleazy,slips in easy,it’s a virgins pride and joy…..oh hello officer.

  19. 57
    Chris Huhnes motoring tips says:

    Make sure you top up your anti sleaze this winter.

  20. 59
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Instead of having a “Pastoral Care Officer” to give people a cuddle when they’ve been touched up, wouldn’t it be better to, y’know, get rid of the pervs in the first place…?

    • 71
      Mike Hancock says:

      Where’s the fun in that?

    • 75
      Our EU membership fee: 20 billion reasons to vote UKIP says:

      Hmmm. “Would the last beardy pervert to leave the LimpDums please turn out the lights.”

  21. 62
    Recruiments R Us says:

    Short list of candidates for Limp Dicks new ‘pastoral zsar’, as follows…

    1. Mr M. Handycock. M.P.

    2. Old Shep, the sheep dog.

    3. Lord Rennard.

    Mr S. Hall is temporarily unavailable
    Sir J. Savile. Mr J thorpe and Mr LLoyd George are permanently unavailable.

    • 65
      Simon Hughes says:

      I’m Freeee

    • 66
      Dave should resign now says:

      Warwick Spinks may be able to help out.

      He’s back out now and living it up so to speak in Clegg’s place.

      Lib Dem snuff movies likely will be the next aberration the beardy weirdies will try to find a ‘lesson to be learned’ for.

  22. 63
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    Senior BBC staff investigated by Met over allegations of corruption in public office.


    One hopes this is the start of the purge of common purpose / EU shills from that organization. BBC phone hacking next ?

    • 69
      The BBC Bias Unit, headcount 14,263 and rising says:

      We will not be reporting this. At all. Never.

      The headlines this morning: Labour slams Tory Government over tax evasion, Jacob Rees-Mogg attends racist dinner, Syria, Syria, Egypt…

    • 97
      Village Idiot says:

      …With the failures in the nhs and failings in social services and failings and cock -ups in many government departments,does it coincide with the rise of “common purpose”,or are their other reasons..??????????

  23. 68
    Yrrah Eloc says:

    Guy News Room = Owen Jones’ Guantanamo

    • 74
      The Chainsaw of Righteous Justice says:

      @owenjones84 = Owen Jones’ public gulag.
      wikipedia = Owen Jones’ execution block
      Chavs = Fuel for Owen Jones’ funeral pyre
      Indy = Not Owen Jones’ pension provider
      BBC = Owen Jones’ ‘cruising ground’
      UAF = The knife in Owen Jones’ back
      Labour = Not Owen Jones’ friends
      The Hard Left = The bullet in Owen Jones’ head

      Public Sentiment : Completely Indifferent

  24. 72
    David Ward says:

    ★Eid Mubarak To All Muslims★
    Terror Attacks = 310
    Suicide Bombings = 28
    ★Dead Bodies = 1651
    Wounded = 3048

  25. 79
    Lib Dem Pastoral care officer says:

    So show me on this Honey Monster doll where Lord Rennard asked you to touch him.

  26. 83
    Cameron on the wrong side of the argument again says:

    As Cameron attacks ‘Bongo Bongo’ MEP… How £1billion of your cash is being used to help Nigeria join the space race–How-1billion-cash-used-help-Nigeria-join-space-race.html

  27. 86
    BBC Journalism College says:

    Good morning everyone. Welcome to the BBC school of journalism. And a particularly warm welcome back to our colleagues who have re-joined us from the Guardian.

    LESSON ONE: The BBC Style Guide

    1) When writing scripts for the autocue jockeys who read the news, all stories should begin with;

    ‘The Government have defended…..’

    You can replace ‘Government’ with the names of any Tories you wish e.g.;

    ‘Michael Gove has defended his decision…’ or a particularly topical one
    ‘Jacob Rees-Mogg has apologised for….’

    2) An alternative and powerful way of manipulating the news (sorry, introducing a story) is:

    ‘Labour have attacked….’

    Again you can personalise this;

    ‘Ed Miliband has attacked David Cameron…’

    3) It is important to remember always put the Tories in the position of having to defend themselves. And whatever you do, do not to get confused and mix 1) and 2) up. We will get complaints if, for example you say ‘Labour has defended…’

    4) Here’s a tip. If you do not have time to script the story properly, just go to the Guardian’s on line site and ‘cut-and-paste.’

    5) Now just a bit of forward planning. The style will obviously change once Labour are returned to power in 2015.

    All stories will then begin with;

    ‘The Labour Government has attacked / criticised Tory proposals for …..’ It is important that the audience is never told what those proposals are, but you must always briefly describe their impact. For example;

    ‘The Labour Government has attacked Tory proposals for benefit reform which will harm almost all of those in receipt of social benefits’

    That’s enough for today. Tomorrow we will learn how to best ignore troublesome stories that may be harmful to our friends.

    • 90
      On the headlines tonight says:

      THE TORIES EAT POOR PEOPLE says a think tank paid to say tories eat poor people.

  28. 88
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    That’s not, ‘Pastoral Care Officer’, that should read ‘ Past All Caring Officer’.

    Dunderheads !

  29. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Eric Pickles says “The public want to see fair play with planning rules enforced consistently rather than special treatment being given to certain groups.”

    If that is the case then make enforcement real. Do not let councils decide not to enforce.

    We have a serial builder in the area that has never had planning permission. Yet he now lives in a new dwelling. He sold the last one at a great profit recently. He used to live in another house without permission.

    Up the road there are 5 houses that have been rebuilt without permission

    Now there is another house in the garden without permission.

    Even buildings next to listed buildings with no permission.

    These people are crooks. No one dares to question their activities. The rumours of they revenge are widely told.

    So when will you provide a means to highlight the failures of the councils to enforce. To be able to register by a secure system without fear, and without them being brushed under the carpet due to the councils own fear or even familiarity with the person.

  30. 96
    David Cameron Is A Cunt says:

    Since the LimpDumbs today announced an insane policy of automatically blaming motorists in any collision with fucking cyclists, unless it can be proven otherwise, surely they should practice what they so sanctimoniously preach and automatically blame any and all of their pervert sex offender MPs/Senior figures for any sleaze allegation unless that can be proven otherwise.

    They truly are hypocritical fuckwits, they truly are.

  31. 100

    Nice little earner for a retired peeping tom, who has a desire to tackle fresh challenges. Must have integrated abilities in image processing and above all be able to spot a sleazy, lying, dishonourable at 50 paces. Which shouldn’t be difficult judging from the past records.

Seen Elsewhere

NUT’s Loony Defence of Status Quo | Jago Pearson
A Dozen Reasons to Be Cheerful | John McTernan
Political Bloggers Are Equal Opportunities Attackers | ConHome
Michael Gove Should Resign | Conservative Women
Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads