August 5th, 2013

Balls Ally Turns on Union Reforms

Labour’s summer fightback has so far consisted of poor Chris Leslie giving an off camera briefing and Chuka going on LBC. Where is everybody? As questions about Miliband’s direction grow, his shadow cabinet are nowhere to be seen. Yvette Cooper is lying low, as is Liam Byrne and Douglas Alexander. Once again Ed Balls has gone missing – he has not been seen properly in weeks. He’s allies are not so quiet though…

General Secretary of the Communication Workers Union Billy Hayes has popped up to call for a rethink on Miliband’s plan to introduce union opt-in:

“We will not dress up as a good thing the battering of the union link, nor the reduction in Party control via open primaries. By insisting upon examining the practical problems of opt-in and primaries, perhaps a re-think can be prompted. That is essential if, in future, the Party is to avoid bankruptcy or becoming a state-funded liberal party.”

Given how close Hayes is to Balls, the intervention is certainly well timed. The CWU all but ran his leadership campaign as well as endorsing it. As one Labour source put it to Guido, Hayes “doesn’t fart without Ed Balls’ permission.” What does his old chum have to say?


  1. 1
    Nasty party says:


    • 3
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      This is a bit rich – the anti-sons of abraham party fostering accusations of racism.


      • 69
        Ed Twelvety Balls says:

        There’s a good reason we’re all in hiding. None of us want to be associated with the looming disaster in 2015 when we’re stuffed 1983-style.

        After Ed resigns we’ll all come out to launch our leadership bids.


    • 7
      Andrew Efiong says:

      Top satire! It’s like Dave Spart on drugs. Will he be in the Edinburgh fringe?


    • 12
      Three way Split says:

      Chuka is the Blarites’ man, with a very powerful and strong ally in Mandelson

      Balls is a Brownite but they are weakened by Watson’s semi departure.

      Miliband is worked by the Union Barons.


      • 40
        Barrister Ejere Deen says:

        Attn: Sir/Madam

        I am Barrister Ejere Deen the personal resident Attorney here in Burkina Faso to Late Hero Muammar Gaddafi from Libya.

        Late African Hero Muammar Gaddafi died along with his son who supposes to be his next of kin during Libya political war.

        My client was having the sum of thirty million four Hundred thousand united state dollars ($30.4m USD) with African Development Bank Burkina Faso.

        I want us to transfer this money into your account as a deal if interested I advice you reply as soon as possible.

        Barrister Ejere Deen


    • 83
      Huree Jamset Sing says:

      That’s the sort of straight talking leadership the peoples party needs. D’ya go sarf of the river mate?


    • 84
      gordon is a moron says:

      start the engine, feed the pipe from the exhaust …….quietly now….ah he’s dead


  2. 2
    Ed Bollocks says:

    You know the economic benefits migrant workers bring to Britain?
    Zero Hour contracts are one of them.


  3. 4
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Here come the Brownite outriders from the Balls camp.

    The only question is whether they plunge the knife in Miliband’s back or straight in his face.


  4. 5
    The Patak Kid who works in your local Balti house says:

    Union,Min wage,contract what are these things?


    • 55
      Ban Ki-Moon says:

      Permanent Mission of ENGLAND to the United Nations
      351 East 52nd Street, New York, NY 10022

      Our Ref: UN/TH/066147/2011
      Attention Beneficiary,

      How are you today? Hope all is well with you and family? You may not understand why this mail came to you. We have been having a meeting for the past 3

      months which ended yesterday with the secretary to the UNITED NATIONS. This email is to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the

      UNITED NATIONS has agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$900,000.00 each and you have to indicate how much you lost in the hands of scammers.
      This includes every foreign contractors, Inheritance,Dating and Lottery payment that have not received their Lottery/Inheritance payment, and people that

      have had an unfinished transaction or international Lottery payment that failed due to Government problems etc. We found your name in our list and that is

      why we are contacting you, this have been agreed upon and have been signed.

      You are advised to contact Mr.Jide Paul who is in charge of your payment through our paying center in West Africa as he is our representative in Lagos-

      Nigeria, contact him immediately for more information on how to get your compensation of US$900,000.00 payment from the United Nations.

      Therefore, you should send him your full Name,telephone number and your correct home address, Contact Mr.Jide Paul immediately for your compensation


      Person to Contact:Mr.Jide Paul

      Thanks and God bless you and your family. Hoping to hear from you as soon as you receive your compensation funds don’t neglect this I advice you.

      United Nations, Making the world a better place.

      Ban Ki-Moon


  5. 6
    Simon B says:

    I’m glad Guido and neo-Guido are tirelessly exposing these sick commies, the Enemy Within. There is nothing more destructive to productive society and the business spirit than these failures, moochers and whiners. Churchill had the right idea: people on strike should be gunned down by the Army. Shame he never got his way.


  6. 9
    Owen Jones says:

    “It’s still raining – it stopped for a while and they took the covers off but the rain has returned and prospects for an immediate resumption do not look good.


    • 25
      Rain dance says:



      • 51
        Mr.Musa Abdul says:

        Your Response Urgent

        Dear Friend,

        My name is Mr Musa Abdul working with(ADB)Africa Development bank,I am contacting you to see if we can make a deal of ($5.5 Million) Direct Transfer to your account.

        Actually I don’t have to involve myself officially because of my job, but I know what will be required to release the fund to you and we shall share in ratio of 40% for you and 60% for me.

        Finally, should you be interested to operate this project with me,reply urgently and i will give you the full details for us to move forward and The secret is bound between me and you, please reply me through my private email below here (

        Mr.Musa Abdul

        Call Me working Information +22676587354


  7. 10
    Labour Split says:

    Miliband must back, sack or crack Balls


  8. 11
    Anonymous says:


    • 18
      And their conclusion is.. says:

      It tastes like chicken.


      • 33
        Mrs Chantal Al Amoudi says:


        Compliment of the day to you.I am Mrs Chantal Al Amoudi, I am sending this brief letter to solicit your partnership to transfer

        $19.5million US Dollars. I shall send you more information

        and procedures when I receive a positive response from you.

        Best Regards,

        Mrs Chantal Al Amoudi.


  9. 14
    Anonymous says:

    ‘A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for? It’s an interesting test. Are you still harking back to where you came from or where you are?’ –
    Tebbit’s comment as correct today as it was in 1990.


  10. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Balls is probably visiting John Major’s old dentist.


    • 36
      Mr. Casmire Kere. says:


      Could you please consider to help me to relocate this sum of five million,three hundred thousand dollars(US$5.3m) to your country for establishing a medium-size industry in your country.

      The said 5.3 millions dollars was deposited in our bank by Mrs Joyce Lake an american citizen who died in a plane crash in 2000.

      We have tried to contact her immediate family to come forward for claims but could not succeed.

      We discorvered that the late american died along side with her husband and children who are supposed to be her next of kin.

      I will give you all vital information concerning the american and the 5.3millons dollars in our custody so that you will contact my bank for them to release the money to you.

      You can come here in person or you can request the bank to give you the contact of the bank lawyer’s who can represent your intrest in the tansfer process.

      I am one of the bank directors, I will play a role to make sure that the 5.3 millions dollars is released to you.

      As soon as i recieve your reply, I will give you an instruction on what you should do.
      Reply and let me know your full Name,Age,Address,Occupation,And Your Telephone Numbers if avaliable.

      Mr. Casmire Kere.


      • 70
        Banjo Boy Enterprises says:

        Are you constantly being bombarded with all sorts of e-mails promising a share of the spoils of an unclaimed fund, if only you advance a certain amount of money to some dodgy “barrister” in some even dodgier nation nobody ever heard of?

        We have software available for downloading which will prevent your ever getting another of these obvious scamming messages.

        If you are interested, contact

        PayPal accepted but would much prefer credit cards, payment in USD.

        Ignore Ransomware message requiring an anonymous cash card after clicking link– it is there as a trap for the unwary who come to this website believing they can learn how to set up a Nigerian scam. It is there to punish the wicked. As long as you enter a valid number your order will be fulfilled. The countless constant blessings of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ be upon you, dear brother/sister, alleluia.


    • 38
      Slow on the uptake says:

      Took me a few seconds but LOL!


  11. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Cooper lying low……………what an image.


    • 35
      Adela Faulkner [] says:


      We offer a program that will help ANYONE with professional experience get a 100% verified Dgeree: Doctoarte, Masetrs, Matsers.

      Obtain a prosperous future, money-earning power and the prestige that comes with having the career position you’ve always dreamed of.

      Earn as deserved. Unlock the doors. Ticket to Success.



  12. 20
    The BBC / Labour Strategy and Planning Team says:

    We are not interested in this.

    We have bigger fish to fry:

    The cost of living
    Zero Hours Contracts
    Tory Donors for Dinners
    Business influence on the Tories
    Cu…sorry Hunt privatising the Health Service
    Tory Trolls
    Global Warming
    Tories causing the killing of kids in their own home
    Racist Vans

    We’ll make the Tories wish they’d never had a good summer and we’ll soon get Ed’s poll rating back up where it needs to be.


    • 23
      Ww jump when Labour tells us. The BBC says:


      • 28
        Peter Hain says:

        Who would have thunk,that if you flooded the UK with cheap labour,employers would choose the cheap option.


      • 43
        Maq­boul says:

        When you get paid for only the hours you work, miraculously you don’t get sick. Any freelancer will tell you that. Sickness is something they get in the public sector.


        • 58
          Uncle Joe says:

          Not in my public sector. Take a ‘sicky’ on my watch and be prepared to move to Siberia. Oh and you family will be going with you.


        • 62
          Anonymous says:

          If you hire the sick, then there will be more sick days.

          The problem occurs when the healthy copying the average. If they stopped reporting the average number of sick days they would not think it was their right. Certain employees should be considered outside the scope. For example, cancer, all transitory life long illnesses etc. and those with regular need for medical attention. These people bump up the average days.

          As for “stress”, it should just be reclassified as an inability to do the job. They should be reassigned not excused.

          Your point about sick days for a freelancer is not the full story. It should be noted that once a job is finished they generally do get sick. It is similar to getting sick every time you have a holiday. Those that work hard have trouble stopping. Also observed in sudden deaths weeks after retirement.


    • 26
      Ed Miliband says:

      Is this why everyone tells me I went from Hero to Zero?


  13. 27
    Don't Vote Labour says:

    The two Ed’s really are Harold and Kumar.


  14. 32
    Barnehurst Bob says:

    Ah! Eddie rears his head again. I had a thought when the last GDP figures were released about what Ed would say, but then he went into hiding. This is the first time he has been on here since then. So, Guido, is it possible to produce a graph along the lines of the misery index just for Eddy baby? On one axis the amount of media outbursts from our hero – tweets, press releases, radio, TV and internet words or time. On the other the actual GDP figures. I’d put good money on a correlation.
    Please Guido, please.


    • 37
      P l e b says:

      Bedroom Tax
      Andy Coulson
      Rebekah Brooks
      Food Banks
      Leon Brittan
      Peter Morrison
      Osborne’s paddock scam
      Children left in the pub
      43 Government U-turns
      Minimum alcohol pricing
      Anthony Bamford
      Adrian Beecroft
      Michael Spencer
      Lord Green
      Cigarette packaging & Lynton Crosby
      Fracking & Lynton Crosby
      Peter Cruddas


  15. 39
    Sociology Teacher to the class of 2050 says:

    And so the migrant workers were brought here to do the zero Hour contracts the lazy British didn’t want to do.


    • 42
      T May Esq. says:

      And now it is time to kick out a fraction of the illegal ones.

      (But I will still let in half a million a year more to carry on pauperising the British people.)


  16. 41
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Only an idiot would privatise national infrastructure, life saving things like the plasma service or the NHS. There are some things that should not be run for profit. The Roads, the railways, the electricity and gas, the water. Unfortunately when we have dicks like the CEO of nestle publicly saying that clean drinking water is NOT a human right, then we know the private sector has gone too far.

    The only reason the railways make money is becasue we hand over huge subsidies to them. The same with the buses. How the hell the Government can think G4S will be able to run childrens homes after something simple like getting enough staff for a security job was screwed up, I don’t know.

    The Royal Mail has got worse and worse and worse as it’s been readied for privatisation. The water companies, gas and electricity companies carry on upping their prices with no care for who dies.

    Renationalise the lot.If any company complains, tax them 100% of GROSS profits until they piss off.


    • 44
      The British Public says:

      They aren’t idiots. They are traitors. The government are beyond contempt.


    • 47
      Maq­boul says:

      Shouldn’t be run for profit! That’s right, state owned industries were run at massive losses which bled the private sector dry. This was the root cause of the unprecedented wave of bankruptcies in the seventies. Maggie’s policy of privatisation fixed that and saved British manufacturing to produce a powerful economy which ran for years only to be strangled by 13 years of Labour.


    • 50
      Maq­boul says:

      Collectivists can neither ignore nor dismiss irrefutable evidence that free markets produce unprecedented wealth. Instead, they indict the free market system on moral grounds, charging that it is a system that rewards greed and selfishness and creates an unequal distribution of income. Free markets must be defended on moral grounds. We must convince our fellow man there cannot be personal liberty in the absence of free markets, respect for private property rights and rule of law.


      • 53
        The Current Climate says:

        Theer are some things a nation only needs one of. Such things are best delivered by the state as accountable monopolies. Other things should not be delivered by the state, because we need choices. These should be delivered byprivate companies operating in a genuinely free market.

        At present we have the benefit of neither the state delivering the services we only need one of, nor the benefit of those things which should be delivered by a genuinely free and competative market. The system is corrupt. The state allows croney capitalists to operate monopolies and distort markets. It interferes in property rights too much, ignores the rule of law and yet still manages to create barriers to entry into the market for new players by masses of red tape and corrupt practices. Few, if any, things are provided by genuinely free markets in the UK.


        • 56
          Maq­boul says:

          The only thing the state need deliver is the Rule of Law. All other things should be delivered by others in a free market under the umbrella of the Rule of Law. As for the rest I think you need to travel overseas more if you think that Britain is corrupt.


          • Don't doge the issue says:

            Maqboul, why did you ask a question and then vanish? You said:

            Maqboul says:
            August 5, 2013 at 9:37 am

            Yes that’s all we talk about on here – lefty black disabled lesbians. Or is this selfrighteous nutjob seeing posts which don’t exist?

            So why did you disappear when I replied?

            BBC says:
            August 4, 2013 at 12:19 pm

            As a clue to the masses that cannot wait until this evening, the inside of the Doctor Who time machine will be in the form of a mo sque. The new Doctor Who will sport a long black beard and will be a caliph.
            Rumours that the top of the machine will be in the shape of a minaret are purely speculative.


            Anonymous says:
            August 4, 2013 at 5:55 pm

            Will Owen Jones be the new Dr Who? He’s been quiet on twitter today.

            Dr Who is a re-cycled Socialist says:
            August 4, 2013 at 6:11 pm

            Nah….Stella Creasy or JK Rowling

            Noooooo…Not her!!! says:
            August 4, 2013 at 6:18 pm

            Well the BBC would want someone who is:

            A legislator for Homosexual marriage
            A man made Global warming advocate
            An Atheist
            A Tweeter
            And hates Tony Blair

            quasimodo says:
            August 4, 2013 at 6:36 pm

            I believe you forgot the hump and / or club foot.
            Otherwise spot on


            Zoe Ball says:
            August 4, 2013 at 7:00 pm

            Join me tonight on BBC 1 at 7pm in which the next actor to play Dr Who is revealed!
            Female, bl*ck, gay or disabled you can be sure s/he will be a life long labour party supporter and red to the core!


            Selohesra says:
            August 4, 2013 at 10:06 am

            New Dr Who revealed tonight – expecting blind,b*ack lesbian with one leg – only doubt is whether she will be Shi-ite or Sunni

            BBC Rent Boy says:
            August 4, 2013 at 10:16 am

            I don’t think so, I’ve sucked the right cocks in the right places and so the jobs mine.
            Two Dogs of Empiricism says:
            August 4, 2013 at 10:23 am

            You are probably right, save I would add that she will also be bearded and travel in a wind turbine mast.


          • The Current Climate says:

            The rule of law was abandonned in this country some time ago. Normal people do not get the protection of the law any more. The courts are shutting and legal aid has been slashed. There are large swathes of London where the police presence is only a PR event and at a day to day level the rule of law no longer runs. Do keep up.

            I do travel overseas. I do business with people in a number of countries. Britain has as rigged, distorted and unfair a market – and its local governent is nearly as corrupt – as China. Try to run a small business in an area with an entrenched, Labour-run, local authority and you will know what I am talking about. Central government doesn’t do a thing about these things.


      • 64
        JadedJean says:

        Just remember: – the markets are essentially computerised profit and loss balance sheets – they don’t see race. sex or creed, as they’re programmed for greed.

        Below replacement birth-rates plus an ageing population (just think about “the spending/borrowing force” between 16-65) demand immigration, as the size of the aforementioned “workforce” must shrink in time which spells a declining economy. It’s been known for at least 80 years.

        Do you see an alternative?

        The only alternative that I can see would be for us to run a non Libertarian economy like China, but we’re far too busy undermining that abroad to ever have one at home.

        So…it doesn’t look good does it?..


  17. 45

    Does anyone know if all the benefit money paid out to our forced invasion of European immigrants
    is deducted off our huge EU contribution , and if not why not ?


    • 48
      Londoner says:

      Nor are all the remittances taken into account.


    • 60
      Our EU membership fee: 20 billion reasons to vote UKIP says:

      1. No.

      2. Because the EU operates – at all times and without exception – against the interests of Britain. If they can fleece us, they will.


  18. 46


    My Dear Good Friend,

    Assalam O Alaikum!Alhamdulillah

    How are you doing today together with your beloved family.

    I am sorry to encroach into your privacy in this manner, I found your Email contact listed in the Trade Center Chambers of Commerce directory here in Burkina Faso . Firstly I will like to introduce my self, I’m MR.ABDUL ALI MOHAMMED,the Manager in charge of auditing and accounting unit foreign remittance department of BANK OF AFRICA (BOA) Ouaga-Burkina Faso in West Africa, with due respect and regards, I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction.

    During my investigation and auditing in the bank in my department i came across a very huge sum amount of money belonging to a deceased person, a foreigner who died in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his account with the bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery to this development.

    Although personally, I kept this information secret within myself to enable the whole plans and idea be profitable and successful during the time of execution, The amount involved is USD$8.2.000,000.(EIGHT MILLION TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS) Meanwhile the whole arrangement and directives needed to put claim over this fund as the beneficiary and next of kin to the deceased, will be forward to you upon your acceptance, All informations will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your interest and willingness to assist me and also benefit yourself to this great business opportunity.

    In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil servant, we are not allowed to operate a foreign account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of transfer because I work in this bank. This is the actual reason why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin with affidavit of trust of Oath to the bank and also present a foreign account where he will need the money to be re-transferred into on his request as it may be, after due verification and clarification to designated bank account.

    I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is genuine and 100% risk free, On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 30% of the total sum as gratification, while 5% for any incurable expenses that will come during the transfer,then 5% for charity organization(motherless baby home)in Burkina Faso.

    You have been advised to keep top secret as we are still in service and intend to retire from service after we conclude this deal with you.I will be monitoring the whole situation here in the bank until you confirm the money in your account and ask us to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment, either in your country or any other country you may advice us to invest in.

    All other necessary information will be sent to you when I hear from you. I suggest you get back to me as soon as possible stating your wish in this deal.

    Thanks and Best Regard.

    Yarhamuk Allah,Yahdikum Allah wa Yuslih Balakum.

    Your’s Faithfully.



    • 54
      DAVE Fuckwit CAMERMONG says:

      I say , what a Spiffing chap , where do i
      send the cheque to ,What ?


      • 57

        Hi Dave,

        We are very grateful for all your kind assistance over the past couple of yours. Thanks very much for all the ‘GDP’ money, and I hope there will more to come. (For the usual commissions, of course).

        I am wondering if I can interest you in a new scheme I am working on to send a couple of hundred thousand more people to the UK on fact-finding missions?

        Your mate,



  19. 49
    Man dem says:


  20. 66
    Two Dogs of Empiricism says:

    This Pаul Mason chappie who has gone from BBC to C4.

    Anyone knows which way his political pendulum swings?


    • 67
      JadedJean says:

      Father of the Chapel for the NUJ at the BBC, Mason is an ex music school teacher and also an ex Trotskyite member of the SWP should tell you what you need to know…. Reference to Trotskyism and the SWP to which, I note, has now been removed from his Wiki page. It was certainly there a year or two ago. I guess you can check the “edits” history page on Wiki for confirmation.

      I thinkit was a long time ago and maybe he feels it irrelevant given todays liberal democratic / libertarian political landscape.


      • 82
        Bill Quango MP says:

        Has he really taken the Marxist bit down?
        I thought he was rather proud of it. A communist economist explaining the financial crash to the people.
        Only the BBC could pick a Marxist economist to head their flagship economics programs. .. mind you. it was quite suitable during the tail end of the labour terror.

        “Good Evening Comrades! Premier Brown, leader of the socialist republic of UK today says tractor production has risen another 5% with the heroic contribution of the workers of Poland.. Some factory managers have not met tractor targets and have been ‘reminded’ of their duty. The rumours of butter shortages are untrue. There is no butter…so there are no shortages…In other news…everything is good …but bourgeois, Capitalist, Tory dissidents have distributed propaganda pamphlets saying Great leader is a retard..They will face punishment..”


  21. 68
    Anonymous says:

    It seems pretty clear – the Unions feel the most important thing for their link to the Labour party, is that they can pay money directly to the Labour party on behalf of their members. The sums involved are what gives the unions power within Labour. Power to lobby the Labour Party for policies that are beneficial to the vested interests of their members, over the population as a whole. Not only to lobby, but to buy policies.
    The Unions are no different to any other vested interest group when it comes to lobbying, but no other vested interest groups so publicly use donations to buy policy. No other party, other than the Labour Party, so publicly accepts donations in return for influence.
    The Unions “Historical Relationship” is one of influence for funds. It should be illegal.


  22. 71
    Red Len Miliband for PM? says:

    Labour cannot afford to be in the pockets of the Unions as they are hell bent on taking over the party to DICTATE policy. This seriously undermines our democracy. The unions want power & are using the Labour Party as its vehicle to drive through its own paid for policies. Simply unacceptable! The unions will bring the country to its knees. Again! Sod them!

    Labour are not even a credible opposition, maybe they should focus on this instead of appeasing Union Barons who do not even represent their own members. It is all bullshit!


  23. 72
    Penfold says:

    So, this is the loyal Balls, staging an arm’s length test of the water’s, for his Putsch against poor old useless Red Ed.
    Labour then can have another Red Ed which saves on stationery.


  24. 78
    gordon is a moron says:

    labour are shiting themselves every c*unt and his granny knows milliband is longest ticking suicide bomber in british politics


  25. 80
    BBC Red Bottom says:

    Ed Miliband : Hey- lets have a BBQ! We can have it at my house you know which number I live at, don’t you Ed?

    Ed Balls – Eight!

    Ed Miliband- How many people shall we invite?

    Ed Balls – Eight!

    Ed Miliband- How many burgers?

    Ed Balls – Eight!

    Ed Miliband – And what day shall we have it on?

    Ed Balls – Eight!

    Ed Miliband – And this month? What month number is that?

    Ed Balls -Eight!

    Ed Miliband – And what time shall we start?

    Ed Balls – Eight!

    Ed Miliband -And when will it end?

    Ed Balls- Eight!

    Ed Miliband -Eight in the morning?

    Ed Balls – Eight!

    Ed Miliband- Ok and how many beers each do you think?

    Ed Balls – Eight!

    And shall we invite Gordon?

    Ed Balls – NO!


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