August 1st, 2013

Minister Has to Ask Permission to Oppose Scrapping Clegg

A leaked letter shows that Chloe Smith, the Minister for Political and Constitutional Reform has had to ask for clearance to oppose a member of her own party’s attempts to abolish the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister and allocate his (limited) responsibilities to other departments. Andrew Lansley must at least be tempted to deny permission…


  1. 1
    Sir William Waid says:

    When you think of some of the magnificent statesmen who have graced the office of Deputy Prime Minister – John Prescott, Michael Heseltine, Calamity Clegg – it is shocking that anybody should think of abolishing it.

  2. 2
    Look around - Democracy doesn't work says:

    They could scrap the office of Prime Minister, too, while they’re at it.

  3. 3
    Observer says:

    “Deputy Prime Minister” is a nonsense title devised to satisfy Michael Heseltine’s vanity.

  4. 4
    Better idea says:

    Energy department….any chance of,scrapping that?

  5. 5
    Ah! Monika says:

    Why is Helen Flanagan ( who she? ) getting more coverage on the Red Tops than did Diana? Every day for months. Fantastic agent.

  6. 6
    The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

    Quite right, Sir William!

    British is best. BBC. BOAC. British Steel.

  7. 7
    The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

    (.) (.)

  8. 8
    Sandra in Accounts says:

    If you think that is bad, did you know that the British Government has to ask permission from the EU to give poor rural British citizens a rebate on the fuel they buy?

    Imagine that – the British Government on its knees asking a foreign power if it can help poor British citizens.

    Europhiles are not just treasonous – they are utter bastards.

  9. 9
    Dame Doreen says:

    I’ll do it! If I was deputy PM dis country would be more carin’ and lovin’ an dere would be no plismen.

  10. 10
    The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

    Your priorities seem muddled in the last sentence. It is no one’s fault if they are born out of wedlock. Treason still carries the possibility of a death sentence, well it did until 1988…

  11. 11
    Mr Mugabe says:

    It is untrue that anyone can prematurely announce reputable election outcomes other than the official electoral commission.

  12. 12
    Point of order says:

    “Apparently there’s the chap called Osborne, folds a damn fine towel, put him in the Treasury cloakroom”

  13. 13
    Little Ed says:

    Before debating this we need to know if this also means scrapping Harriet Harman.

  14. 14
    The Liberal Democrats says:

    The funny thing is that we’d like to abolish him too.

  15. 15
    Point of order says:

    “Got some red faced chap called Cameron, Eton and all that, bit of a smarmer, can we find him something in PR?”

  16. 16
    a non says:

    Too many Chiefs and not enough Indians? [With Vazoline being the exception!]

    Why would a Minister for Political and Constitutional Reform who has witnessed Clegg’s childish reaction to preventing much needed boundary change now wish to support his sinecure?
    Clegg is more of a stumbling block in the path of government that a useful cog facilitating it’s working.

  17. 17
    Point of order says:

    “Buck House on the phone sending over some chinless wonder from Eton. Apparently world class liar, could be one for the future”

  18. 18
    Boris Carloffe says:

    Oh this sounds wonderful. Is it possible that Clegg could be sent back to the backbenches? Could it be arranged that Cable could also be sacked?

  19. 19
    Maqboul says:

    She’s some daft bint who was on Corrie, who nearly had a nervous breakdown in Oz on I’m A Celebrity …. and whose premiershit boyfriend was caught sextexting some other bint, so she left him. Now, as you point out, is to be found in The Sun everyday.

    And I thought my life was exciting!

  20. 20
    EU Commission says:

    We intend to command to the British Government that the post is filled by Lady Ashton.

  21. 21
    Sally wot lives in Westmister says:

    I know you ain’t ‘eard much from me lately. Been told to keep me ‘ead down. I fink my Johnny should be Dep. PM

  22. 22
    Lard Prescott of Hull High street says:

    The greatest thing I achieved as deputy PM was shagging me secretary over a Pugin desk.

  23. 23
    Lard Prescott of Hull High street says:

    Oh,and punching that bloke in ear ‘ole

  24. 24
    Living in 97.223% white Merseyside says:

    These blo*dy Tories. Anyone would think they won the last election.

  25. 25
    Traycee says:

    Oh and it were luverly with his little chippolata

  26. 26
    Cretins in Government R Us says:

    We need a list of desolate areas of the country which can be fracked. None of these should be anywhere near Guildford.

  27. 27
    Big Ed says:

    What??? When did she become Labour Deputy Prime Minister. That’s my job!!!

  28. 28
    Lard Pissclott of Shithull says:

    I called it a put-in on a Pug-in. Get it?

  29. 29
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Oh, FFS, the ODPM was only created to give Presclott something to do – a task in which it failed miserably, as his long-suffering desk would attest to.

    Not content with scrapping it (and him) then, Bliar turned it into a full-blown Ministry as DCLG – or DeCLoG as it was ironically known – with luxurious premises at Eland House, opposite Vic Station.

    If Dave wants to really inject some reform into Whitehall, he can scrap the whole lot. The country managed perfectly well without ODPM/DCLG until 1997; we can manage perfectly well again.

    He can scrap Cloe Smith and a few others while he’s at it.

  30. 30
    Living in 97.223% white Merseyside says:

    Looking forward to working with Baroness Lawrence Your Lordship? Or are you one of the peers that nice Mr Blair chucked out?

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    My Vince would do a far better job.

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Yesterday’s Newsnight still couldn’t bring itself to mention that the current femnazi hysteria was set off by a femnazi threatening to kill* a man for having committed the crime of agreeing with something said by a woman.

    Useless fuckers wouldn’t recognise the truth if it shit all over them.

    [‘kill’ in the traditional internet sense of the term meaning ‘I’m really peeved you don’t agree with me’]

  33. 33
    Cardinal Biggles says:

    That will be acceptable, providing the ‘good’ lady is required, at all times, to wear a full hijab. The said garment to be lead lined as an extra precaution.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    “Rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic”

    They have not much else to do except finally perfecting of the ultimate organization.

    To be perfectly pointless.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Rubbish! My Julian would be fantastic and you will have noticed I’m sure how the House responds every time he is called by his old friend Mr Speaker.

  36. 36
    The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

    What you cannot get in your mouth is wasted.

  37. 37
    Charles de Gaul says:

    Anybody who joins or collaborates with a British government during the currency of the EU regime will have to answer for their crimes after liberation.

  38. 38
    albacore says:

    Be careful talking of peanuts and monkeys
    It gets up the snouts of Gestapo flunkeys
    Can’t elucidate, the link won’t post on here
    But Googling BeeEnnPea might just make it clear
    So it’s no wonder some lowly minister
    Asks whether she’s doing summat sinister

  39. 39
    Burke and Hare's Peerage says:

    There was a lady stabbed in Leyton yesterday.

    Presumably her relatives will all be given OBEs.

    If the police fail to catch the killer long enough they will be made barons and baronesses.

  40. 40
    Social Work - We let you kill, because we're incompetent cretins says:

    Baby P, muslim grooming gangs, a 4 year old beaten and starved to death. What do they all have in common?

    Social workers.

    What a mighty fine job they do.

  41. 41
    Abdul the envelope stuffer from Lahore says:

    True, but we only make the results available in advance for a suitable fee

  42. 42
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    Peter Bone goes up daily in my estimation.

  43. 43
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    Mrs Bone must be proud of him.

  44. 44
    Furry Daily Mail reader says:

    The day she won that elec… oh hang on a minute..

  45. 45
    Tom Catesby says:

    Not to worry Chloe, wait a bit longer and we’ll be sacking him for you.

  46. 46
    Britain says:

    Why can’t we just send Clegg back to his handlers at the Dutch embassy?

  47. 47
    Furry Daily Mail reader says:

    Good idea – we’d all like to see the lights go out on that shower.

  48. 48
    The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

    When researching the history of the peerage for this moniker, I was struck how the really old English titles only go back for between ten and twenty holders whereas, in Scotland, there were several in the upper thirties. Clearly longevity is not their fortune. Whether that is due to centuries of deep-fried Mars Bars, simple treachery or the celebrated rivalry between the MacDonalds and the MacLeans, I know not.

  49. 49
    Furry Daily Mail reader says:

    Does you lady friend have a deep throat?

  50. 50
    Village Idiot says:

    …We managed without the EU who we now have to crawl to if we want to do anything!!(e.g petrol discount) It is pathetic and shameful .No referendum ,just get out and do your own thing! ….ooo…a flying pink pig

  51. 51
    Sainthood anyone? says:

    Keith Blakelock’s missus must be in line for the throne the amount of time she’s had to wait for justice.

  52. 52
    A Mote says:

    The langauge of violence is all-pervasive. Stella Creasy, who, quite rightly, objects to being threatened with rape, regularly says she wants to ‘fight’ people.

  53. 53
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Don’t worry. It WILL be two miles from Guildford. Down.

  54. 54
    Maqboul says:

    She wants to prevent the sacking. It is Peter Bone who has the knives out/

  55. 55
    Burgers are bad for you says:

    The Di and Doreen Show does have a certain, er, “something” about it.

  56. 56
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Yep, social workers, teachers, police – all stood around talking but did fuck-all for this little chap.

    It doesn’t need training to see that something was seriously wrong with this poor little chap – scavenging for food, chronic weight loss, bruising etc. Anyone with a decent UPBRINGING would have seen there was a serious problem and, above all, acted.

    Naturally, all the usual wonks were on Toady with the usual “take this very seriously, multi-agency approach, Serious Case Review, lessons will be learned, time to move on…” crap.

    Yet, if you dare admit you support UKIP, your children are taken away from you in seconds.


  57. 57
    IMHO says:

    The proper blame for this clown lies firmly with the f****g idiots who voted for him. They should all have their bennies stopped for being so thick.

  58. 58
    Bob Fleming says:

    …providing the good ‘lady’… surely?

  59. 59
    The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

    So sorry but you will have to wait for an answer.

    A lady does not speak with her mouth full.

  60. 60
    Sherlock Pursuivant of Arms says:

    She needs to accuse the police of something. How about ‘institutionally patient’?

  61. 61
    This school may contain pork says:

    Schools are very good at monitoring a childs dietary needs.
    Why only last week we sacked a dinner lady for giving a kid food.

  62. 62
    Bob Fleming says:

    we also pay the EU b*stards £12b a year for the privilege

  63. 63
    One Man One Vote and a Right of Recall says:

    We have a rotten democracy open to manipulation by rotten people. It is not entirely the public’s fault that the current system is rigged to ensure mediocrities stay in office.

  64. 64
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Lady Ashton is the best argument for a compulsory hijab that could possibly be made.

  65. 65
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    You cannot do that, someone has to be top dog, this lot would be in open war with each other vying for power, PM is an important job, in spite of the wannbes constantly snapping at his heels and with each other. Two little problems that might arise if the office of Deputy PM disappeared as Boney requests who would act as PM when Dave goes on his many jollies, leaves etc , and the other, if Mr Garage and his party do hold the balance of power at the GE Mr Garage would want to be deputy PM

  66. 66
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    Whats a Deputy PM FOR?

  67. 67
    The Libconners are continuing the ruination of the U.K says:

    Never mind eliminating europhile Clegg, it’s the gay loving cnut Cameron that needs to be removed asap. Roll on the2015 General Election and we will be rid of both of them.

  68. 68
    Emily Durkheim says:

    I would be interested to know how many people who are attracted by a career in social work come from dysfunctional families.

  69. 69
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    you mean ‘in t’ear ole’

  70. 70
    Sun picture looker-at says:

    Well, at least it’s a female having a quick chomp!!

  71. 71
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    As local government is getting smaller and has a much smaller budget, do away with the Ministry of Local Government or lower the ministers salary as he has less resposibilty

  72. 72
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    She must do…she’s his secretary so probably drafted everything for him

  73. 73
    Sun picture looker-at says:

    That’s OK, so long as we don’t have to join the Euro.

  74. 74
    Britannia says:

    I have no problem with Cameron loving gays. It is when he does it to the exclusion of first representing and protecting the interests of the British people as a whole, and is willing to see the rights of Christians and others diminished and their values vilified that he crosses the line for me.

  75. 75
    Sun picture looker-at says:

    I do hope you were sharpening your pitchfork as you typed that!

  76. 76
    Social Work - We let you kill, because we're incompetent cretins says:

    You couldn’t make it up. If you’re suspected of beating and starving your child, social services will do fuck all. But if you happen to vote UKIP, they’ll be onto you like a shot and take the kid away. Unfuckingbelieveable.

    From now on, if you suspect a neighbour of being abusive towards a child, drop an anonymous note to social services that the parents vote UKIP. That’s the ONLY way the child will be rescued.

  77. 77
    Ed Miliband says:

    The first thing we’ll do when we get in is not reverse any legislation brought in by the Tory led Coalition.Then we’ll add some of our own which in turn they wont reverse when they get back in power.

  78. 78
    Sun picture looker-at says:


  79. 79
    For sale UK goverment, fixtures and fittings says:

    Can’t see why we need any ministers or MPs as they are surplus, they gave all the power they had to run the UK to the corrupt EU, time to stop pretending we run our own country and sack the uncivil service and sell off the house of corruption and let it be turned into a hotel for EU mandarins.

  80. 80
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    BBC couldn’t find anything to smear Thatcher with from the 1983 archives this morning, so instead they showed a clip of Michael Heseltine slagging her off as a dictatorial control freak. BBC – blatant, relentless hatred of Thatcher, pathological and desperate. You have to wonder how this is allowed to be broadcast by a so-called unbiased news organisation.

  81. 81
    Deppity Dawg says:

    Same thing a deputy sheriff is for.

  82. 82
    Deppity Dawg says:

    They slipped it in while Krispaton was still on his third breakfast in the canteen.

  83. 83
    Emily Durkheim says:

    Because it might well be the case that a disproportionate number of social workers do not know from personal experience what a functioning family looks like

  84. 84
    Chris Fatslug says:

    So many jobs, so many canteens, so little time.

    I really do need an executive helicopter.

  85. 85
    Institutionally Patient says:

    Can I ask that that particular cliche is finally put out to grass?

  86. 86
    History Buff says:

    Isn’t she still up to mischief in Egypt? I’m sure she would consider any minor post in a regional administration an insulting demotion.

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    Agree, it does matter. While clearly unable to protect so many endangered children, this rotten system can and does destroy the lives of parents and too often gets away with what amounts to stealing their children.

  88. 88
    Graham says:

    Hopefully Farage will be PM with a UKIP government as the rest of you are fucking clueless.

  89. 89
    Graham says:

    Heseltine hated Thatcher. Time he was locked away in.a padded cell.

Seen Elsewhere

Ministry of Justice Loses Death Inquiry Data “In the Post” | TechnoGuido
Europe’s Crisis is Cameron’s Opportunity | Speccie
Sajid Javid is the Ultimate Thatcherite | Buzzfeed
Ed Argar Selected in Dorrell Seat | Leicester Mercury
88% of New Labour MPs Are Union Bods | Mark Wallace
Massively Popular Porn Site is Infecting Users | Techno Guido
Newspapers No Longer Willing to Toe Party Line | Roy Greenslade
Introducing the New CapX | CapX
Burnham’s Newsnight Debacle Dissected | Dan Hodges
How I Survived Dry January | Nigel Farage
Greens are Commies in Disguise | Andrei Rogobete

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Dan Hodges on Labour unity

“We’ve heard a lot over the past few years about how Miliband has united Labour. But he has not united Labour. He has pacified Labour. He has placed it into a medically induced coma following the trauma of the party’s 2010 defeat.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,715 other followers