July 26th, 2013

Harriet Harman’s How To Guide to Twitter

Yet another MP showing their unrivalled grasp of how the Internet works this week. In which Harriet Harman tries to ‘@’ Polly Toynbee in a tweet by typing in her email address, before posting a picture of a newspaper rather than, you know, a link:

Not like she’s the Shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport or anything…


  1. 1
    Hattymyway says:

    I’ve just got neck ache trying to read the article.


    • 8
      lolwut says:

      Don’t worry, it’s just more Toynbee bullshit


      • 10
        Cornish Pilchard says:

        Better than a sore wrist dear boy


        • 23
          Quiet Bat Person says:

          Not only does this idiot Shadow Minister link to her photo of an article newspaper (unreadable) instead of the online Grauniad article, it is also rotated 90 degrees.

          Harman has no grasp of Media. Or grasp of anything, for that matter, except Jack Dormey’s balls.


        • 25

          At least with a sore wrist you have the satisfaction of a job well done.


          • Cornish Pilchard says:

            Speak for yourself


          • Morgan's Organ says:

            And what about the stupid tart’s letter to the Tour de France organisers wanting women to compete? I would have said yes but only if you complete the course first. It would interesting to see what a snivelling mess of an individual incapable of coherent speech she ended up like. Well much the same as she is now, probably, except she’d be clad in lycra, oh my god no, forget that idea then!


        • 109
          Rage Against the Political Elite says:

          Showing the same grasp they had on the economy. h a ha


    • 18
      Vertumpapa says:

      Jesus H Christ – shadow minister for media and cannot put a link to an article

      The only link Harman can do is a clinker down the pan


    • 20
      PC Dixon says:

      If its Toynbee its bound to be rubbish but she’s in good company – they both spout bullshit


      • 47
        Yeah, right... says:

        Incredible. It’s a bit like that old viral pic of a blonde holding a desktop screen down on the copier, titled ‘Blonde secretary copying a Word document’

        But that was a joke. Harriet is serious.


    • 123
      Anti-Rentier Alliance (Ban The Whig Rent Seeking Elite) says:

      “Tour de France director slams Harriet Harman over women’s race proposal “


      • 124
        Anonymous says:

        Good idea. They’ll be dropped in the first 20km and we’ll never see them again. Get some soft furnishings in the broom wagon.


    • 143
      Polly.toynbee@guardian.co.uk. says:

      What a stupid sister


    • 146
      Her Husband (name withheld) says:

      Its a good job she hasnt got a dick(I think) otherwise shed never leave it alone.


  2. 2
    Legal landlord says:

    God help us all.


    • 56
      Dom says:

      Two Champagne Socialists agreeing with each other. So what’s new?


      • 145
        Big Momma. says:

        Just to answer her question, which she should know, the age for peak woman is 28 and for men 35. So she is way past it, as if she cares in her safe little bubble world. You know where to find me.


        • 150
          Village Idiot says:

          It’s different peaks for different desires,so age may not matter..Some like the peak of grannies,some like the peak of 7yr olds,sick,but women have many peaks,as do men…..


  3. 3
    Dillygaff says:

    She has a little man for all that sort of thing, don’t you know? Stirring up trouble for little Alex on his unpaid internship.


  4. 4
    Anonymous says:



  5. 5
    Jack Dromey says:

    Where’s my tea, wench? Nice arse.


  6. 6
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    This is what a Misandrist looks like

    h ttp://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/files/2011/11/harriet_harman_1361789c.jpg


  7. 7
    SW1 insider says:

    A sideways pic? Apparently her neck is the only thing that leans to the right.


  8. 9
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    What was it Dave once said? Oh yes Twatter


  9. 12
    John Bercow says:

    Stupid Harperson!


  10. 13
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    One really has to wonder about Harman’s male constituents. She will show interest hen any problem is perceived to be diadvantageous to women, but is silent when there is no ‘gender andle’ or when men are disadvantaged.

    In so doing, she betrays her male constituents, and also the worthy aspects of feminism, as she reduces it to a mere political football, and pure cynical opportunism.

    Do men actually vote for this sexist woman? Bizzare.

    Perhaps her whole constituency has been reduced to a gaggle of wimps and eunuchs


  11. 14
    Not me, the other one. says:

    Given her expensive and private education, I’m surprised she appears to be so stupid.


    • 39
      Ippikin says:

      Nah, look at her Grandad. Its in the genes, not the education.


    • 44
      Headmistress says:

      There is a huge difference between ‘clever’ and ‘educated’.


    • 50
      Yeah, right... says:

      A private education is no guarantee of intelligence. It does help to take the edge off the disadvantages other thick people face in life though.


    • 139
      Maqboul says:

      Aye, don’t confuse stupidy with ignorance; education can solve only the latter.


  12. 15
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Harman is as thick as Abbott is wide.


  13. 16
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    “gender angle” – sorry for that and other spolling mistakes.


  14. 17
    Diane Abbott eats to many creamcakes says:

    Harriet Harman wants to legalise kidding fiddling.

    She will end up in the lake of fire because of this.


  15. 24
    Bazinga! says:

    Like most women if it isn’t a cooker or a hoover she can’t work out how to use it.


    • 30
      John Bellingham says:

      Most of them seem to know how to use a mobile phone–and adjust the vibrator alert, too.


    • 120
      The Sisterhood says:

      Judging by the chefs we see on TV, men are better at the cooker than women. Has Harriet complained to the BBC about the lack of women cooks on TV.


      • 121
        The Sisterhood says:

        And while you’re at it where are the F1 woman drivers. Women are better drivers than men. Put one in a Red Bull and they should win easily. Instead the WAGs hang around the pits flashing their legs, diamonds and smiles. Not good enough BBC and Sky. Go tell them Harriet.


  16. 26
    Diane Abbott eats to many creamcakes says:

    Women should be bare foot and pregnant and chained to a sink washing dishes.


  17. 28
    John Bellingham says:

    To see how ball-achingly, pig-shit stupid the crop of female politicians actually are, tune in to Sky for their early-morning newspaper review. Not only are the silly tarts at a low-sugar level, they are unguarded.
    Yesterday, fat-slag, disgraced Jackie Smith stated that doctors should be paid more money as it was terrible that “they had to deal with injuries and really sick people every day”.
    Almost-as-fat Harman on Newsnight wittering on about women being excluded from men-only gold clubs with two other women–no men allowed to talk.
    Fatter-still, Abbott–well, what can one say? Massa, she not UMamma Leddie who done know fuck nothing. She UMamma Leddie who done know fuck-all!


    • 45
      Sir William Wade says:

      Why would women want to play golf? It’s the most boring, stupid, trivial game ever invented for idle, listless tosspots to waste their time talking crap to each other. Or at least it was, until Twitter came along.


      • 70
        Statistician says:

        375 golfers were asked if given a choice between playing a round of golf with Tiger and Rory or spend a weekend locked in a hotel room with a gorgeous nymphomaniac, and 98% said a round of golf. Which proves most golfers are wankers.


        • 85
          handicapped says:

          Most golfers have already been disappointed by niblicks in the past.

          Besides they are already guarunteed 18 holes and an abundance of shots.


          • Sensible fellow says:

            I think I would quite like to play around with a couple of nymphos for an hour or two – and then go out for restful 9 or 18 holes (depending on how much strength I had left) on the greensward.


        • 87
          Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

          After what happened to Tiger when he tried a weekend or two with a nymphomaniac (or several, if reports are true), a quick 5-knuckle on the dog-leg 9th is probably safer.


        • 113
          Rightwinggit says:

          Golf courses are also known as c*nt farms.


      • 93
        Billie Jean says:

        “Why would women want to play golf?”
        So the can screech every time they hit the ball. It worked for the tennis players.


    • 127
      Springbok says:

      That has to be the best post that I have read on here for a long time. Speaking as a Female, who started Business life in Construction over thirty years ago, I laugh at the Sisters getting down with it now, innit.

      If you look at history there have always been strong women, but, they had class, even the working class women who took on pub ownership during the latter seventeen and eighteen centuries. They would p**s on Harman and Cooper, and I would also, but as a women who has achieved everything through merit, without using my families background, I look down on them. Then I guffaw into my Jack and Coke.


  18. 31
    Diane Abbott eats to many creamcakes says:

    Caroline Flint is a MILF, dumb as a door knob.


  19. 32
    Ippikin says:

    Its about what we have come to expect from the woman.
    Amazing really the depth of stupidity on display from our MPs on a daily basis.
    I always thought that if you didn’t know how to do something, you sought help before making a fool of yourself.


    • 61
      Universal Hiss says:

      Never stopped the male MPs.


      • 119
        Ippikin says:

        Sad really.
        When I was a young and simple giant, one looked up to MPs and coppers. Methinks its not just age that has enlightened me so much as standards which have fallen through the floor.


  20. 33
    The Duke of Plaza Toro says:

    In the true spirit of parliamentary ‘Upstairs, Downstairs’ perhaps they should all employ Twitter-maids.


  21. 38
    Scottish Chav says:

    perhaps hattie should get her wife and unite employee jack to help her with the hard technical things like tweeting, gerrymandering falkirk constituency or parachuting men into all women shortlists for mps.


  22. 40
    Sir William Wade says:

    When was Hattie in her prime? I remember that day well, because there was a sale on at DFS.


  23. 43
    Mr Bleeding Obvious says:

    “A woman is a possession, upon which to lavish gifts”


    J Dromley (Ms)


    • 75
      Lord HaHa says:

      “On 15 March 2006, in the Cash for Peerages scandal, Dromey spoke of not being aware, despite being party treasurer, of £3.5 million loaned to the Labour Party in 2005 by three persons who were subsequently nominated for Life Peerages.” -wikipedia


      • 112
        Unparliamentary language says:

        Would it be scandalous for someone to suggest that he actually was aware?


    • 77
      Harridan Harmanhater says:

      Jacqueline is a typically idiotic man. HE forgot to declare his UNITe bung.


  24. 46
    Magnus Carlsen says:

    I like playing internet chess but now somebody has blocked it with a pawn filter.


  25. 49
    BrianSJ says:

    Harperson had her blog hacked some time ago


    IIRC username harriet password harman
    How long is her twitter account going to stay unhacked?


  26. 51
    Comrade Delta says:

    Harriet Harman needs one of specials for women.


  27. 53
    fishy mong says:

    Ah, Bless


  28. 60
    Thick-az-shite says:

    ‘Not like she’s the Shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport or anything…’

    Culture? Thick as a yoghurt
    Media? See Twitter fiasco
    Sport? Likes to watch tennis at Lords, and supported Chris Froome in the archery.

    There you have it


    • 66
      Complete and utter snobby pedant. says:

      Actually, there is a tennis court at Lord’s and a real tennis court. Members only, no plebs allowed.


  29. 65
    MARS says:

    gf on ms harperson:

    ‘Not like she’s the Shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport or anything…’

    i’m the god of work rest & play but no-one rings me up and says ‘hello mars old bean – fancy a jar in the harp early doors?’

    one bears a great deal in the name of responsibility


  30. 67
    She's the brains of the Labour Party says:


    • 99
      User name: Harriet, Password: Harman says:

      Dont just pick on me what about Tessa, she didnt even realise she was signing a mortgage application for a new home. Her hubby was putting down £200 000 cash and she didnt even know. What a daftie.


      • 114
        Dame Tessa (available for Panto, no makeup required) says:

        But Tessa has the excuse of … of …. of ….
        Fuck it, no excuse, but damn ugly like you Harriet (or Margaret or Emily or …..)


  31. 68
    Vince Cable's rucksack says:

    Well, now we all have Polly’s email address, what shall we do with it?


    • 78
      Bazinga! says:

      I was thinking of signing her up for some lesbian porn, but she’s probably downloading that anyway.

      How about signing her up to the Tory party?


  32. 69
    Julian the Wonderhorse says:

    In Harperson’s case, she never had a prime. She has always been rancid


  33. 71
    Harridan Harmanhater says:


  34. 72
    Hattie Harperson says:

    I know what I wanted to do, but the technology is right wing and frustrated my action.

    When we get power all technology will be left wing, and the chosen will be allowed to use it……


  35. 73
    Fishy says:

    Battie Harman was on BBC / Labour’s Newsnight last week carrying on about wimmin not being allowed membership at Muirfield – outrageous, the Government should act.

    It was pointed out to her that as she was in Government when the Open was last played at Muirfield, she could have acted then….or she, having delivered the Equality Bill, could have outlawed it in 2009.

    Smiling and blinking somewhat, she explained in the patronising way that only she can, that Labour could not get agreement to do this. The Beeboid failed, though to point out that Labour had an over all majority and could have done anything it wanted.

    When it smiles and blinks and patronises, I’m always left feeling that Harman is telling lies.


    • 76
      Bazinga! says:

      Funny that Hattie has no problem with those al male army combat units.


    • 97
      User name: Harriet, Password: Harman says:

      I once lied inthe house when in answer to a question I stated that Fred Goodwin had been put up for a knighthood by Labour for charity work. It was better than admiting it was for banking. How embarasing that would have been. My office later issued an apology pretending I had simply made a mistake.


      • 116
        Oh for contraception in 1951 says:

        I would suggest that your parents made an even bigger mistake Hatte.


    • 141
      John Bellingham says:

      You make an important point. The HARBOT blinks at an incalculable rate when it lies. Just watch her next interview.


  36. 74
    gipsome says:

    Harman must be crazy praising Toynbee’s attempts at journalism.
    Any fool can see that a plastered St@ines or H@rry is streets better than any Pollyfilla coming out of the Gaurdian.


  37. 80
    Harridan Harmanhater says:



  38. 81
    Harridan Harmanhater says:


  39. 84
    Carlos Danger says:

    Harriet,you got mail! ;-)


  40. 86
    Ms D. says:

    Harriet Harman would make a much better Leader than the current man.
    Being female the Opposition will not be able to beat her up in the Commons without being called sexist.


    • 88
      Tony Blair must be executed for treason says:

      A Turnip would make a better leader than millband.


      • 94
        RED LEN says:

        How can you tell the difference ?


        • 103
          Mr Helpful says:

          There are only two known ways to tell Ed Miliband from a turnip.

          1. Turnips do not admire President Hollande of France. If you see a turnip admiring President Hollande (or, come to think of it, if you see * anything * admiring the French President) it is, in fact, Ed Miliband, and not a turnip.

          2. When you put a turnip in a microwave, it doesn’t start licking the window.


          • David Miliband in waiting says:

            Another difference is Turnips are not related to bananas whereas Ed is .


      • 96
        Ms D. says:



    • 100
      Fanny Mechanic says:

      Worst case of Female Mutilation I’ve ever seen.


  41. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Christ, what an absolutely terrible awful harridan of a woman


  42. 90
    50 Calibre says:

    It’s little wonder that Jack Dromey is such a sourpuss…


  43. 94
    User name: Harriet, Password: Harman says:

    Wish you would stop treating me like an idiot. I once did advocacy work for The P*********e information exchage you know.


  44. 98
    Anonymous says:

    Was it Harriet or could it have been the work of a not-so-tech-savvy twitter intern, I wonder? hmm


    • 105
      Sherlock Holmes says:

      You are Harriet Harman and I claim my £10.


      • 107
        Anonymous says:

        I’m not, but I like your line of thinking. I’m afraid I claim my £10.

        If Ms Harperson were to blame a “twitter intern” – and I really do hope that such a position doesn’t exist – I think someone would have some explaining to do regarding the selection process.


  45. 101
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    So Stuart Hall, of BBC fame, gets his sentence double to 30 months. Child abuse gets 30 months, defrauding someone of say 10k would get them 5 years.
    Law hee haw, hee haw, hee haw.


  46. 104
    User name: Harriet, Password: Harman says:

    Ive just completed my public profile on Facebook. How come there isnt any space for your bank account details ?


  47. 106
    gordon is a moron says:

    this bitch was found out , all washed up on her first go at the greasy pole why anyone gives her credence …sorry i nearly forgot, the alternative for labour the racist finger swinger dianne


  48. 125
    Sir Mary Flappes says:



  49. 126
    Anonymous says:

    I would have thought Harriet would be ideally placed to know about mens’ highs.


  50. 129
    Jack dromey is talented says:

    Because we needed a retired union official to win an all female selection process ! cos he has something to say ? And his Bird is the voice of feminism? I can just imajine dromey telling his bird that he wouldnt mind a job can you sort it . But Harriet we have three good candidates that fulfill all criteria .But my Jack is 70 year old union baron and has much more to offer than these birds.And I saw him head but a copper at grunwick .


  51. 130
    Harriet Harman says:

    You sexist troll
    I have been in politics for 30 years and to insinuate that as a feminist I would rig a selection process so that my husband a retiree should win a all female short list is quite wrong . Further at 65 I think he has so Mitch to offer and if I were in the trenches as such I would like him to be with me not those birds . There


  52. 131
    Beaten candidate says:

    Sir as one of the beaten candidates in the aforementioned selection process I would like to make it clear that
    A in now way we were leaned on for jack to get the job
    B all rules were obeyed
    C now and again a man can win an all women selection process
    This is the truth


    • 137
      So there! says:

      D there is no truth in the rumour that we were each paid 100 grand from Gordon’s non-existent slush fund to stand aside; and
      E we have always taken our annual hols in Monte Carlo


  53. 140
    Maybalee. says:

    I was a general manager you know………but I had to wear mens clothes during the day. Lend me a couple of grand.


  54. 142
    Jack Ketch says:

    Members of Parliament advising on technology is rather like eunuchs advising on the techniques of satisfying women.


  55. 144
    NHS death squad says:

    why do these self important twats who are incapable of doing anything think they know better than us about everything?


  56. 152
    Lagabad Adahel says:

    She also makes the mistake of thinking anyone gives a shut what Polly says


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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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