July 23rd, 2013

Boris and Gove on a Smashing Night Out

Guido would not like to suggest that Boris and Gove had wet the Royal Baby’s head last night, though then again these photos do suggest they were in somewhat jovial spirits after a dinner at Scotts:

Boris clearly just fancied a stroll rather than riding his bike home, while Gove’s difficulty walking in a straight line can obviously be explained by the heat:


Via Mail.


  1. 1
    Anti-Rentier Alliance says:

    Gove is becoming a right little porker. He’s on the Diane Abbot diet

  2. 2
    Magic 8 Ball says:

    Come on, I’d imagine Gove gets smashed after just a couple of dwinkies.

  3. 3
    Arthur Haynes-Manual says:

    It’s a shame that Boris doesn’t wear his “safety helmet” in every bed he parks his “bike” in.

  4. 4

    Well that’s two fingers to the Nanny Dave’s conniptions over excessive alcohol intake. Well done the pair of them!

  5. 5

    He’s a Scot. It’ll take more than a couple.

  6. 6
    Lynton Crosby says:

    Didn’t Boris want to rid Londons streets of drunken yobs?

    and riding a bike while pissed is against the law.

  7. 7
    Boris says:

    I’ve put more women into labour than Ed ever will.

  8. 8
    Bazinga! says:

    Were Boris and Gove partaking of extra strong cans of lager behind the bike shed?

  9. 9
    Silly tart from the Indy on Newsnight says:

    The birth of this baby means that there wont be a black,lesbian,homosexual,one legged,chinese muslim on the throne for at least seventy years.
    Is that fair?

  10. 10
    Bazinga! says:

    Bloke on Sky News made me laugh when made eyed Kay Burley was talking to the crowd and some bloke piped up that he was hoping the baby was black. Should have seen her face, not a pretty sight.

  11. 11
    Sugar Daddy says:

    Go to sleep, E. It’s Tuesday now. You won’t solve the world by staying awake.

  12. 12
    The State Alcohol Police says:

    Some how I don’t think minimum priced booze would have helped these two.

  13. 13
    Scottie Buckfast says:

    I’ll drink to that

  14. 14
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    Lets hope Gove didn’t strangle Boris…

  15. 15
    davy says:

    If you look really closely, he’s not riding it.

    Happy to help.

  16. 16
    Ed Balls says:

    I must confess I’d had a few when I mounted Stephanie Flanders and rode her down Brighton sea front.

  17. 17
    tube_thumper says:

    Kate Burley made a right twot of herself on TRB coverage on sky last night. Everytime she gushed over someone in the crowd they couldn’t speak English and one joe dakis said he had heard the baby was black.

    When they asked a woman in hospital who had just delivered and unsightly lump was asked if she might name him after TRB the woman who was clearly just off the boat from Africa didn’t know it was TRB day and could hardly speak English. I wonder if she is paying the NHS?

  18. 18
    Yes Great news....For toffs says:

  19. 19
    Arthur Haynes-Manual says:

    Yeah. I feelin bit droopy now ;p

  20. 20
    Dennis Farina RIP says:

  21. 21
    Lord Stansted says:

    Media tossers should have leant by now never do Vox populi.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    And he’s being touted as a future Prime Minister!

  23. 23
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    Who paid for the dinner ?

    a) HoC expenses Visa Card
    b) Lynton Crosby
    c) Big Tobacco
    d) Big business tax dodgers
    e) The EU
    f) Charles Saatchi
    g) Ordinary Tax Payers
    h) All of the above

  24. 24
    Ed Miliband says:

    Me too!

    And you’ll never guess what…we bumped into Willie Haigh and Leon Brittan on the beach when we were there!!!!

  25. 25
    Lynton Crosby says:

    so he was going to walk all the way from Scotts to Islington? right-o

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Boris and Michael discussing who’s going to be leader after Call Me Dave bombs at the next election. Labour = Granita; Tories = Scotts (Lib Dems = HMP Ford)

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    He’s not riding his bike though, he’s pushing it

  28. 28
    Lenny's Henry says:

    He fucking did ride it, I have seen him pissed up riding through Bloomsbury, many a time. Guido has been ordered to say he never rode it.

  29. 29
    Anti-Rentier Alliance (Ban The Whig Rent Seeking Elite) says:

    Fair comment apart from perhaps the “homosexual” bit

  30. 30
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Whatever happened to Boris’s spread sheets showing his bike scheme reaching break even point?

  31. 31
    Garry's Bushell says:

    They were off to Dolphin Square to violently butt fuck a couple of 8 year olds.

  32. 32
    economy is improving after Labour nearly destroyed it says:

    A thousand new jobs created by Bentley in Crewe.

  33. 33
    Jabba Le Chat says:

    Nooo! Why is it always the good guys that go first?

  34. 34
    RetardEd Militwat, fish faced fuckwit, with my future behind me.. says:

    We’ve all done that, Ed.

    That’s what biketh are for.

  35. 35
    Killjoy Alert says:

    Do you have a problem with a future PM having a night out?

  36. 36
    RetardEd Militwat, fish faced fuckwit, with my future behind me.. says:

    THIT! Beaten again, like a ginger step kid!

  37. 37
    tube_thumper says:

    you cock

  38. 38
    Owen Jones says:

    With rumours that the Royal Baby Boy will have a common English name, please give a warm welcome to Prince Sanjeev Mohammed Bogdan Cambridge.

  39. 39
    Green Eyed Monster says:

    Report it to the Deputy PM!

  40. 40
    AAA says:

    I’m proof that he rides bikes all the time.

  41. 41

    Most of those will be sold in rich counties like China, India and those parts of the ME that aren’t being democratised by the O’Bummer-Dave axis. But why stick to facts when a little class-warfare is in the offing?

  42. 42
    Magaluf Engerlander says:

    Who paid for Farage and his magic garage to set up an off shore education trust?

  43. 43
    NUT member says:

    Gove is evil he is trying ruin our Marxist school system.

  44. 44
    Harold Harman GP says:

    Their children should be taken into care immediately.

  45. 45
    Pleb says:

    Nothing can help these two

  46. 46
    Diana Abott says:

    I suggest the royals better call the baby Trayvon otherwise I will scweem Wascist.

  47. 47
    Owen Jones Mother says:

    Owen behave yourself, or I will take away your broadband conection.

  48. 48

    What about Wayne? You can’t get much more common than that.

  49. 49
    Mars Attacks says:


  50. 50
    Garry's Bushell says:

    Ah, another one who likes to protect child fuckers, when they finally put you inside you will be eating ground up glass and drinking piss for the rest of your life you fucking n0nce.

  51. 51

    Why should he interfere? You’ve done a magnificent job all by yourself.

  52. 52
    Len McCluskey says:

    Unite members always pay for me and my mates.

  53. 53
    Oooops says:

    Louie Spencer

  54. 54
    Pleb says:

    Idiot. It would be mixed race.

  55. 55
    Michael Gove says:

    You don’t want to see me when I’m REALLY smasheroo, trust me on this one– here’s a picture of me that way, in my misspent youth:

  56. 56
    Anti Royal and Proud says:

  57. 57
    Magaluf Engerlander says:

    UKIP = Farke Nose….. expenses?

  58. 58
    Diane Fartbott says:

    Disgusting slur. I have never been on a diet.

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Gove drunk has a face even inviting assault.

    Who would have guessed?

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    Nice they can afford a night out,

  61. 61
    Pleb says:

    What’s Benson and Hedge funds up to today then?

  62. 62
    Pleb says:

    Pig Society?

  63. 63
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    I suspect that that rucksack is the only thing holding Boris up

  64. 64
    Wayne says:

    Im not commun. Say that again an ill giv you an eadbutt.

  65. 65
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    Is it me or does it actually look like him?

  66. 66
    NUT member says:

    Yes but he wants to bring back elitism.

  67. 67
    Joyce Thacker Child Snatcher says:

    Have they defected to UKIP then???

  68. 68
    Maqboul says:

    Who’s to say he’s drunk? He always looks that dishevelled.

  69. 69
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    If Gove and Borus were drunk as skunks it is about time they he grew up, both in their mid late forties, it’s a sort right of passage in your late teens/early twenty’s, probably they have not grown up since leaving Oxbridge.

  70. 70
    Keep calm, vote UKIP says:

    UK specializes in producing high end goods for export, and better for those rich folk to buy a Bentley (or Rolls ?) rather than a Mercedes or the producing company outright.

    Agree it would be better for the workers to be able to purchase their own produce, not sure what staff deals are extended to Bentley workers but they may get a discount.

    A job is a job, a sale is a sale, and a thousand new jobs created at this firm is a positive sign for UK exports and the health of the global economy.

    The problem is, the rich countries are not in the EU.

    So – why the hell are we still involved with that and not able to directly negotiate trade deals without the rest of the mongs on the continent getting in the way ?

  71. 71
    The Bullingdon Club says:

    Oh, I think you’ll find it never went away!

  72. 72
    Maqboul says:

    That’s easy, Farage did.

  73. 73
    Diane Abbotapotumus says:

    Can I have a mouthful?

  74. 74
    Penfold says:

    Bloody toffs, repressing the working class.

    Haven’t the piccies made the Morning Star’s early edition?

    BBC haven’t made this a news story….

    Grauniad running on-line editorial?

    Oh dear another non-story………

  75. 75
    Chucky's (International) News says:

    I know that you are all enjoying my tweets so here’s some more Chucky (International) news, this time from Peking, where I am pretending to be an important statesman and trade envoy.

    * Mrs Wan Hung Low is watering her garden in Baotai Road.

    * The children in Number 7 Middle School have just finished for the day.

    * Someone has just fallen off their bike outside a restaurant near Guanyuan Bridge

    * And finally, here are a few words of greeting that I have had passed to me from my Chinese Government hosts. They translate as, ‘O great Obama of the south wind, silken panther born of greatness.’ 你是个该死的白痴

  76. 76
    Big Brothers in Arms says:

    Obama and Dave are no more democratic than China.

    Dave is trying to censor the internet that ordinary people see.

    Obama is trying to overturn a jury verdict

    And both are monitoring ALL our electronic communications

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    hmm, a night out on the piss at my expense.

  78. 78
    Maqboul says:

    +1. Quite , why does the EU take a slice of this success?

  79. 79
    Maqboul says:

    You paid the bill eh? How much was it and how much did they drink?

  80. 80
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Even registered lunatics can do that Borus

  81. 81
    Maqboul says:

    Oh, you poor sad bastard. Diddums?!

  82. 82
    Snowdon the Whistleblower says:

    I told you so!

    I wonder how Assange is getting on?

  83. 83
    Concerned citizen says:

    The quicker ElCamo puts up the minimum price of alcohol the better for everyone.

  84. 84
    Maqboul says:

    And excellence and ambition. We can’t have the working class with aspiration can we comrade. They’ll be wanting their own homes next as well an opinion.

  85. 85
    Penfold says:

    Rather a shame that Bentley’s parent company is VW (Volkswagen), established by that bogey man of the left Adolf Hitler.

  86. 86
    Sick of the greed and lies(still) says:

    I used to just change the WiFi code when my son got on my nerves. It was amazing how quickly he came around to my way of thinking….

  87. 87
    Dennis Farina RIP says:

    I know. James Gandolfini, Mel Smith and now Farina in the space of a few weeks. Meanwhile, Tony Blair is still alive.

  88. 88
    Colombian Dark says:

    What…like coffee coloured?

  89. 89
    Skynews Viewer says:

    Geez, they’re talking about Kate breastfeeding now. Haven’t they noticed how small her Charlies are yet?

  90. 90
    Ben Elton says:

  91. 91
    Boris & Michael says:

    Tonight tonight tonight
    We’re gonna make it right

  92. 92
    SauerKraut says:

    Bentley is owned by Volkswagen Group Wolfsburg, Lower Saxony, Germany.

    What Dave did not say, was also in that picture is Dr Martin Winterkorn, Chairman of the Board of Volkswagen Group.

  93. 93
    Joyce Thacker says:

    I’m disgusted that this baby has been born into a white upper class family who, if they could vote, would probably vote UKIP. I demand that the baby be taken immediately into care so that he can be given to a caring, decent muslim foster family. Mr Ibrahim and his 14 cousins from Rochdale have offered to foster the baby and promised to raise him in a warm, nurturing environment.

  94. 94
    bergen says:

    Gove’s definitely got the early signs of a drinker’s nose there.

  95. 95
    Sad saddo alert says:

    Did mummy forget to kiss you goodbye this morning?

  96. 96
    Maximus says:

    More likely to be some light peer-grouped alcohol therapy for the traumas experienced by exposure to all those reverse ferrets they had to see in connection with their work as journos. Not to mention the reverse chutney ferrets that just happened to get D noticed.

  97. 97
    Sir William Waad says:

    Pugsley? Jlloyd? Skymaster?

  98. 98
    Jabba Le Chat says:

    “Tony Blair is still alive”

    Pah! Gordon Brown is the evil c u n t long past due to go to the great void…

  99. 99
    Ah! Monika says:

    BBC photos of babies born yesterday all coloured.

  100. 100
    The useless piece of skin that hangs off the end of Ed Balls' penis says:

    “Is it me or does it actually look like him?”


    Nah…it looks a lot more like Yvette Cooper!

  101. 101
    Ah! Monika says:

    Phillip, Louis You heard it first here.

  102. 102
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    By strangle, I meant doing a Nigella….

  103. 103
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    As Hodge will tell you, there is nothing wrong in setting up offshore trusts.

    Plus he never used it.


  104. 104
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    You didnt use “mates” when you sh@gged your assistant though did you…

  105. 105
    Ed Miliband says:

    David once spiked my orange squash with Shandy Bass!!! He’s so funny!

  106. 106
    Ah! Monika says:

    Sharia Law by then.
    It will be a Musl1m but not a King

  107. 107
    Ah! Monika says:

    But he’ll never be King. Sharia Law would not permit it.

  108. 108
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    The kid could well be Japanese though…

    Look at Kate’s brother and her great grandfather… they’ve definitely got yellow fever so to speak.

  109. 109
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    Maybe it will be a profit ?

  110. 110
    Broadsword calling Danny says:

    If they come anywhere near my kids, I swear I’ll do time!

  111. 111
    Penfold says:


  112. 112
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    VW owned 17% by the Govt of Qatar..

  113. 113
    illogical says:

    Would not surprise me either if the Beeb or Guardian will be claiming in a day or two that the royal Baby’s first words were ” Did Crosby ask about plain packaging”

  114. 114
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    Daddy gave him a french snog, thats the problem

  115. 115
    Magaluf Engerlander says:

    For a given definition of “Farage did” that is true. But “his” money, from his EU stipend, came from…..? come on… I know you know this one……..

  116. 116
    D. Starkey says:

    There is precedence here. Eddy II and Dick II were raging woofters by all accounts.

  117. 117
    Chars says:

    I’d be as happy as that if the tax-payer was funding my night out too.

    Mine’s a treble! Hic.

  118. 118
    meanwhile says:

    Mehdi Hasan.
    Political director of The Huffington Post UK

    “Without Immigrants, Our Country Wouldn’t Function – So Let’s Give It a Go for 24 Hours”

    Go on then……..fuck off.

  119. 119
    Jimmy-five-bellies says:

    A drinkers gut more like!

  120. 120
    Village Idiot says:

    ..They could not have had much of that dangerous,socially acceptable drug,alcohol.as they are still standing up???

  121. 121
    Magaluf Engerlander says:

    Plus he never used it…? That’s it? That’s your argument in a nutshell? He hadn’t got around to using it?

    Lets explore that:

    “Yes your honour my client, Mr Winston Alvarado of Brixton, no longer denies having a 9mm pistol , but as he hadn’t got around to using it, can we move on to more important matters and let him off, m’lud?”


  122. 122
    PBTP says:

    It wouldn’t, they are probably not paying for it, unlike the poor bloody tax-payer.

  123. 123
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    If they are not on benefits they are welcome to an opinion and a vote.
    If not….

  124. 124
    Pothead says:

    ….Wha who mentioned skunk????

  125. 125
    Len "Shagger" McClusterfuxkey says:

    No – bloody Branson makes them, capitalist bastard.

  126. 126
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    No, they want to opt in to the Union Membership donation…

  127. 127
    Jimmy-five-bellies says:

    He stained them with his copious jizz?

  128. 128
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    Boris celebtrating the good news he has become a father out of wedlock, again.

  129. 129
    A worried pleb says:

    Will we have to stop saying “Christ on a bike” and move to “Mohammed on a moped”?

  130. 130
    Kay Hurley Burley says:

    I always make a right twot of myself.

  131. 131
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    Your barking, barking mad and barking up the wrong tree.

    Off shore trusts are perfectly legitimate legal structures.

    Hodge’s family shares, Im sure Osborne wallpaper company and thousands of other MP’s and Lords companies are structured in a similar manner.

    EU expenses are not expenses as such, they are allowances, and paid to every EU MP at the same rate.


  132. 132
    And IBM provided the technical expertise for recording, numbering and processing "prisoners" says:

    VW, able to buy a failed hedge fund, Porsche, in a closed sale meant to be illegal under EU rules.

    For YOU, ze bidding iz over!

  133. 133
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    Kuffer in a car ?

  134. 134
    Use a pole to prise a troll from it's hole - not you Janik! says:

    You two trolls do have a thing about incest and homosexuality don’t you – are you being promised a safe Labour nomination in the Fens?

  135. 135
    Mars Attacks! says:

    Was that a euphemism?

  136. 136
    Magaluf Engerlander says:

    Almost right, but missing the salient point, you little wag! The others have never denied setting up legal, legitimate off shore trusts – Farage did.

    Ad hom, ad hom,
    UKIP will still bomb
    Like a lead baloon
    They’ll be over soon,
    Ad hom, Ad hom.

    There – fixed it for you.


  137. 137
    Post hoc says:

    That was nothing – you should have seen us. Good on ‘em for properly wetting the baby’s head!!

  138. 138
    Magaluf Engerlander says:

    Dhimma on a dodgem?

  139. 139
    Boris Carloffe says:

    Were they making a deal, like Blair and Brown, as to who should b party leader first?

  140. 140
    Fishy says:


    I wonder if he’ll have a berger there.

  141. 141
    Lynton Crosby says:

    when they were that age they smashed places up at Oxford, or at least Boris, Dave and Gideon did. Gove was probably too busy showing his educational brilliance in getting a 2:1. you would think an education sec would have a first.

  142. 142
    Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    You should see civil service weekends then.

  143. 143
    Name that tune says:

    Since this family are ethnically Kraut, what is Paddy Power offering on Helmut and Fritz for possible names?

  144. 144
    Name that tune says:

    Adolf? Helmut? Fritz Saxe-Coburg sounds good.

  145. 145
    Name that tune says:

    Sultan then perhaps? Plus Jordan, Saudi and several other Islamic states have kings.

  146. 146
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    Wrong again Magaluf, you really are barking.

    He didn’t deny setting the trust up.

    More accurately he denied receiving dividends, which is true.

    So who is more guilty….

    The man who set up a trust and didn’t receive any dividends and closed it down.

    Or the 100’s of MPs and Lords who structure their business affairs offshore and in trusts, and continue to do so, again think Hodge here. Let alone Starbucks, Google, Amazon et al.

    Your screaming hypocrisy is quite Andy Burnhamesque.

    You must be a liberal or a closet socialist.

  147. 147
    Cameron hates the UK & loves the EU says:

    Haram on a horse

  148. 148

    Thhash a jol..joll…..jolly evening old lovies innit!

  149. 149
    Magaluf Engerlander says:

    Nice try – but wrong on just about all levels, but hey, thanks for the attention.
    However Barking is the province of the delusional and the power mad – Hodge and the BeeNP – a sort of amalgam of UKRAP really.

    But just to be fair, let me summarise the position:

    Crash Bandicoot sets up an off shore Educational trust on the Isle of Man, but gets questioned about it so doesn’t actually use it – if it’s an OK thing to do, why not use it? If it’s not, why set it up in the first place? Cake and eat it defence.

    No one mentioned expenses, the word I used was stipend – which is defined as “a fixed or regular amount of money paid as a salary or allowance”. We agree on that.

    However, as you brought allowances into it:


    So – got caught with his hand almost in the off shore till so pretends that he was never going to use it anyway and got his hands caught in the EU petty cash till.

    Fixed it for you again! Just a quick thanks will do, no flowers or dinner, it’s just embarrasing.I’m not THAT kind of Engerlander.

  150. 150
    Magaluf Engerlander says:

    Like that one!

  151. 151

    Boris for pm job

  152. 152
    The Daily Obvious says:

    Immigrant promotes immigration shocker.

    The logical corollary would be during that 24 hours, no immigrants would be able to use any services, shops, roads, hospitals etc., either.

    The more immigrants you accept, the more you need to look after and pay for them, in a small island with limited resources, such as this.

    It’s another government unsustainable Ponzi scheme.

  153. 153
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Not likely with Dithering Dave

  154. 154
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Do you think Grover could do with some concentrated physical education

  155. 155
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Do you think they will end up with the boozer’s droop

  156. 156
    broderick crawford says:

    what about in charge of two wheeled riding apparatus while inebriated
    on the public highway ( pavement) ???

  157. 157
    broderick crawford says:

    did you mean Twinkies ??

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