July 22nd, 2013

Rich’s Monday Morning View


138 Comments

  1. 1

    Now that IS pornography.

  2. 2
    Pippa, a sociliate says:

    I have fecund loins too, but no-one will marry me :(

  3. 3

    Did you consider girding them?

  4. 4
    Hoots! It's Clown says:

    If their bairns a wee laddie, that what finer name could Kate choose than Gordon?

  5. 5
    Howzat1932 says:

    The foreplay must have been riveting.

  6. 6
    doh says:

    “Duchess in hospital after going into labour”

    who gives a fuck?

  7. 7
    anon says:

    sleep with Ian McCluskey, my got you have got too be desperate !

  8. 8
    M102 says:

    Someone must have done, obviously.

  9. 9
    charles the fecund says:

    one must keep one’s wits about one

  10. 10

    Chuka?

    (With an oo)

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    When an explanation of the ‘cartoon’ is needed, you know it’s time for Rich to give up.

  12. 12
    Howzat1932 says:

    Evens on R4 this morning regarding his friends I can only suppose to mean the Millibands and the Balls of this world or perhaps his friend Mandlebum.

  13. 13
    a non says:

    Is it Kate Middlemans’ father??
    Where are the flowers

  14. 14
    McCluster F**k says:

    Ehhh by heck…our dynasty is even better than them Blairs, Kinnocks or even Millie Tant.

  15. 15
    Reverend Robert Malthus says:

    Well that’s one more mouth to feed. Any time now the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will ride!

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Michael Portillo.

  17. 17
    Sit Petra says:

    That’s the maintenance payments finally sorted.

  18. 18
    Anti-Rentier Alliance says:

    Thank goodness Guido has told us who is in the cartoon. Would never have figured it out otherwise :P

  19. 19
    Doncaster North constituency worker says:

    Whose bollocks is he holding?

  20. 20
    Ealing schoolboy says:

    My dad had a Hillman McClusky

  21. 21
    private eye says:

    Stop press.

    Royal couple expecting a baby!

    Arthur Scargill in talks with Thatcher.

    Ed Miliband’s lack of policies just a pregnant pause in politics.

  22. 22
    Look at the **** on that says:

    Alas two delectable cheeks but only one wit.

  23. 23
    Pdubya says:

    This dinosaur personifies Labour,socialism and the metropolitan elite completely. Nepotism,Do as I say not as I do and calling anyone who does not subscribe to their tunnel visioned idea of Utopia as Hypocrites, racists and anti working class.

  24. 24
    Isambard K. Brunel says:

    Teamwork and speed was everything.
    Glowing red hot.
    A quick toss.
    Pop it in the hole.
    Hammer the head.
    All done in 30 seconds or less.

  25. 25
    M102 says:

    Would be funny if it came out black :)

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    What is it like to give birth in the Lindo Wing?

  27. 27
    Strange voices on the streets says:

    Does anybody know if the pornography diversion is to keep folk from thinking about: immigration, the new soviet style socialist empire and windmills tax, for all the summer or is there going to be other diversions very important things to fill the news (excluding the Royal baby of course)?

  28. 28
    Aaron D Highside says:

    It’s a very flattering portrait of Red Ken.

  29. 29

    …still shaking its head! :-D

  30. 30
    Living in 97.333% white Merseyside says:

    According to the DM and the Sun THE WHOLE WORLD!

  31. 31
    'Arry says:

    I dun wun but I think I got away wiv’ it.

  32. 32
    Aaron D Highside says:

    More likely red.

  33. 33
    Filip says:

    Get the gin glasses out Brenda

  34. 34
    SleeplessInKirkaldy says:

    It’s all froth at the moment while the politicians wait for us to do the work and get the economy moving again. Bread and Circuses

  35. 35
    MRS McCLUSKEY I'm standing by my Wallet, I mean husband says:

    It had to be a back scuttle over his desk , theres no way she would have shagged him if she could see him

  36. 36
    The Labour Parteh says:

    We knew she’d see sense eventually.

  37. 37
    Pipparse says:

    Only in an ungirded moment

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Well the worlds media have been camped out in Paddington for 3 weeks, so i would say ?most of the world ! does that answer your rather naive question ?

  39. 39
    Django says:

    They are Ed’s testicles…. He’s been holding them for a while now and occasionally giving them a quick squeeze just to remind him whose boss.

  40. 40
    Firm But Fair says:

    Shameless cronyism.

  41. 41
    Really!! says:

    So other than porn filters, what other announcements will be released today. Tis a perfect day to “bury bad news”

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    The today prog has been dreadful this morning, where do they dig up the inadequate and disaffected ex employees they bring on to revisit their sad reasons for being sacked/”resigning” it all ends up sounding amateurish and bitchy.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Er, i think its to stop children like April Jones being abused and murdered,not everything requires a stupid comment from you, you moron.

  44. 44

    But Ed appears to be hairheirless.

  45. 45
    The BBC...setting the news agenda says:

    There is nothing to report here….the unions are perfectly in order to give jobs to whomsoever they like and to support the Labour Party . The British public(with assistance from ourselves) are more interested in the disgraceful misuse of power by Lynton Crosby.This is once again an example of David Cameron’s lack of understanding who he is appointing and an example yet again the Tories abusing their power and patronage unlike Ed Miliband who continues to give a strong lead on this unlike David Cameron who refuses to answer OUR questions despite repeated attempts.

    Unfortunately we must now temporarily re-assign the 500 reporters involved on this issue to the Royal Baby’s birth and fill your screens with inane and pointless babble for the next 24 hours despite our republican tendencies

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Well, as that was a classic Labour own goal, it might be Ed stepping down and Len stepping up, who knows.But this Union thing is going to run and run !

  47. 47
    Chukker says:

    Power is a great afrodizzyac — just ask Lucretia Burger

  48. 48
    Lol says:

    Lol

  49. 49
    Concrete Jungle says:

    The race is on to who can cover the country at the fastest pace.

    A married Onion baron ? – but he had money

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Is the BBC ever going to be neutral ? and why are they alowed to be so biased ? Evan Davies was on top form this morning asking “point scoring” questions on child pornography instead of anything informative.

  51. 51
    Revisionism says:

    It was internet porn that made Hindley & Brady do their perverted crimes.

    Should be banned.

  52. 52
    Crufts rosette says:

    My dad had one of them arctic dogs which was a Macluskey breed

  53. 53
    Rembrandt says:

    Should have given up years ago then

  54. 54

    OK. See you in Church.

  55. 55
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Ken is a single muthafuka.

  56. 56
    Anonymous says:

    22 years ago, not 12.

  57. 57

    Afraid it’ll end in Piers.

  58. 58
    David Starkers says:

    The Unite birth announcement was made on foolscap, not A4 paper. That way it can be made into a cone shape with a D on it.

  59. 59
    Millie Tant says:

    Power to the people!

  60. 60
    Al Gore rhythm says:

    Ban the internet. Do it now.

  61. 61
    Maqboul says:

    It might have been rhetorical but in any case he’s just another lefty knobjocky trying to kickstart the class war. Deperate fuckers are sliding down the pan.

  62. 62
    bergen says:

    Nothing new. In practice no party believes more firmly in the hereditary principle than Labour.

  63. 63
    Al Gore rhythm says:

    Is there someone nude in that window behind him?

  64. 64
    Maternity ward hack says:

    BREAKING NEWS
    Duchess-Cambridge goes into labour.

    Jeez…. is there no end to whom McCluskey will not recruit into Labour just to ensure his choice of MP is selected?

  65. 65
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    It looks like some Mafia godfather or an east end thug, who is it supposed to be, it’s enough to frighten the kids

  66. 66
    The Knight Watch says:

    The Company of Captain Frans Banning Cocq

  67. 67
    The Sisterhood says:

    Shows that women are much more important than men. Women ensure the continuation of the species. Men can be replaced by a sperm bank. And we need never have more Lens.

  68. 68
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    Memo to Len. A basic principle of good management is

    DON’T FUCK THE HELP

  69. 69
    Captain Frans Banning Cocq says:

    Have you got any pictures of Maria Miller in the nude?

    No.

    Wanna buy some?

  70. 70
    Slotgob says:

    Euan me — isn’t that right Tone?

  71. 71
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    If you believe everything in the DM ……………………

  72. 72
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    ” its to stop children like April Jones being abused and murdered”

    ….but it wont do that as morons like you will just stay anonymous

  73. 73
    Mowntin dawgs says:

    Was it a St Bernahoganhyphen? They are exceedingly rare.

  74. 74
    The Boss says:

    Everybody out..and in.

  75. 75
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    anon, you might not believe it but it is not the sleeping that does it

  76. 76
    Curly says:

    You have to be kin of the Okio’s to understand that one!

  77. 77
    Dave the Untrustworthy says:

    Ban porn first, using child protection as the justification.

    Ban the exposure of corrupt lying politicians second — the real objective once State control of the internet has been established.

  78. 78
    Cathy and a large African animal says:

    Ah! That explains the queues outside our office doors.

  79. 79
    Jabba Le Chat says:

    Lol…now that would redefine the meaning of constitutional crisis…

  80. 80
    Intern says:

    “Who do you have to fuck to get a job around here?”

  81. 81
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    It is essential on Monday mornings to start with a cartoon by Rich so that it gets you lads in the right moaning mood for the rest of the day

  82. 82
    Caroline Lucarse says:

    The end of my pier rock turned green when I gave it a good licking.

  83. 83
    Ancient seafarer says:

    Yup!

    Ma mumma done told me
    when I was in knee pants
    ma mumma done told me, son,
    a woman’s a two-faced
    a worrisome thing
    that’ll leave you to sing
    the blues in the night.

  84. 84
    Talking From Experience says:

    If you do make sure you wear a rubber – riding bare back costs money.

  85. 85
    Dave the Gays Luvver says:

    Bend over of course, pretty boy.

  86. 86
    Arnie Shwarzenburger says:

    That fish is right, you know.

  87. 87
    Paniagua v5 says:

    Apparently its £5k a day to stay in the Lindo wing, when one is about to drop.

    Glad my taxes are once again being used wisely.

  88. 88
    Philippa says:

    No more terrifying births on TV please. Every episode of “The White Queen” has one. I’m surprised the human race has survived.

  89. 89
    Arnie Shwarzenburger says:

    The Italian Wedding Test

    I was a very happy man.
    My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
    So we decided to get married.

    There was only one little thing bothering me..
    It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia.

    My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very
    tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
    She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
    I always got more than a nice view.
    It had to be deliberate.

    She never did it around anyone else.

    One day she called me and asked me to come over.
    ‘To check my Sister’s wedding- invitations’ she said.
    She was alone when I arrived.
    She whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me.
    She couldn’t overcome them anymore.
    She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married.
    She said “Before you commit your life to my sister”.

    Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn’t say a word.
    She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom and
    if you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me”.
    I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

    I stood there for a moment..

    Then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door.
    I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

    Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

    With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me.
    He said, ‘Sergio, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.
    We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter.
    Welcome to the family my son..’

    And the moral of this story is:

    Always keep your condoms in your car.

    The Italian Wedding Test

    I was a very happy man.

    My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.

    So we decided to get married.

    There was only one little thing bothering me..

    It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia.

    My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight

    miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.

    She would regularly bend down when she was near me.

    I always got more than a nice view.

    It had to be deliberate.

    She never did it around anyone else.

    One day she called me and asked me to come over.

    ‘To check my Sister’s wedding- invitations’ she said.

    She was alone when I arrived.

    She whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me.

    She couldn’t overcome them anymore.

    She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married.

    She said “Before you commit your life to my sister”.

    Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn’t say a word.

    She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom” she said.

    “If you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me”.

    I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

    I stood there for a moment..

    Then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door.

    I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

    Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

    With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me.

    He said, ‘Sergio, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.

    We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter.

    Welcome to the family my son..’

    And the moral of this story is:

    Always keep your condoms in your car.

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    A pity that Rich doesn’t know his arse (Unite HQ) from his elbow (UNISON HQ)

  91. 91
    Arnie Shwarzenburger says:

    Apologies for the echo! Sticky keyboard.

  92. 92
    Captain Frans Banning Cocq says:

    That’s a long’un

  93. 93
    Paddy Power says:

    Ginger Hair – 50/1

  94. 94
    Matthew Dear says:

    You mean 21 years ago…

  95. 95
    Captain Frans Banning Cocq says:

    What about your pre-op penis?

  96. 96
    Captain Frans Banning Cocq says:

    I don’t know why you say that…

  97. 97
    Old Eng Soc member says:

    Go on, give us a rendition of The Engineer’s Wheel next.

  98. 98
    Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    Jennie must think these rumours are entirely braless.

  99. 99
    Historian says:

    If you knew anything about the history of this hospital then you’d know that Lindo was the management committee’s pet stork before the NHS arrived, and that Royal Babies were traditionally carried under Lindo’s right wing. Never the left.

  100. 100
    Gaia says:

    Mother Earth’s problem is not too many babies. It’s too many old people, being kept artificially alive. Over 50s should be given the option of a quick, legal, peaceful release.

  101. 101
    Living in 97.333% white Merseyside says:

    The female half of the world maybe. It’s not a man thing to get excited and coo over babies.

    Unless one is the daddy.

  102. 102
    Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    Nothing was more terrifying than Lady Margaret Beaufort being wed and bed at a ridiculously young age to give birth to her son and heir Henry Tudor. However given the acts of the union bosses and Lib Dems, there can be no doubt that as to work-love incestuousness, they are the modern day offenders. And indeed in the light of the wars at the time and short survival rate for men (which seems to have gone into political reversal over 600 years…) I think most actions with and from women in those days were justifiable, producing heirs no matter what the cost. I simply hope that venal whim is something of the past – in terms of McLusty I think not.

  103. 103
    Living in 97.333% white Merseyside says:

    Don’t knock us. I’m in my sixties and as SuperMac once said, I’ve never had it so good, what with my benefits, pensions and compo.

    The Boom Years (1997-2007) were good too but I still had to work for living then.

  104. 104
    Living in 97.333% white Merseyside says:

    There was no internet when Jimmy S et al were at it.

  105. 105
    The Critic says:

    Remember comrades – four legs good,two legs bad. Which one of Len/Ed is Snowball and which Napoleon?

    Windmill building next I presume?

  106. 106
    Prelate of Secret Ceremony in London says:

    I christen thee “Josef Karl Marx Command Economy McLuskey”.

  107. 107
  108. 108
    couldn't make it up says:

    and how much does it cost to stay in a NHS hospital to give birth. Which is paid for out of my taxes, even though I never want or have kids

  109. 109
    N.Kinnock says:

    Welll awwwwwwlriiiightttt!

  110. 110
    Undressed Employee says:

    I have demonstrable experience in high-level delivery of a wide range of (extramarital blow) jobs…

  111. 111
    Ellie-Mae (8) says:

    Is this going to be like “Spot the Paedo” or will they all run off and use Tor and still opt in.
    The govt, born yesterday.

  112. 112
    Porn on TV says:

    Easy access porn can be seen on BBC’s hit series The Fall. Every gratuitous detail of a serial killer was shown. The stalking, terrorising, and murder of women. Every detail of his sick rituals. And they cast a Supermodel as the serial killer. The Beeb are probably considering a sequel right now.

  113. 113
    Undressed Employee says:

    Two sides of the same director’s clique/coin.

  114. 114
    Len says:

    Thank You. I’ve been told that before.

  115. 115
    Magic 8 Ball says:

    This dinosaur personifies socialism AND the metropolitan elite?

    That must be top-notch one-nation Labour then, surely? :-)

  116. 116
    Undressed Employee says:

    Could be a pain for the union lot who prefer to tie people to them…

    Stourbridge, that’s that soon to be socialist enclave “of Brum” nowhere near the true blue sea. It may have rolling hills and industry but we’ll soon see to it having dingy Orwellian flats and bennies everywhere.

  117. 117
    Telegraph Readers says:

    Nice front page scoop with a big photo story inside in the Sunday Telegraph.

    Meanwhile the wail examines 12 year old birth certificates.

    C’mon Guido we want to hear the low-down on your big party conference soiree. You were the host, you must know the most.

  118. 118
    Grand Canyon observer says:

    Get dressed Sallyvating Bercowitz, otherwise you’ll frighten the horses.

  119. 119
    Crazy Cat Lady says:

    So many cats in here, the place has developed that musty smell of fish.

  120. 120
    Post hoc says:

    Perhaps they’ve now decided its better to manufacture their own MP’s instead of buying them?

  121. 121
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    The glory Tory years were the best, 1979 to 1997 under magnificent Maggie and majestic Major.

  122. 122
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    You have to laugh, don’t you? Do you think they didit in office hours? Union members might like to ask for a rebate on their subs.

  123. 123
    Who'll they kill now says:

    Any alos in from an Australian radio station yet?

  124. 124
    Who'll they kill now says:

    Alos?
    Calls

  125. 125
    The Naked Truth says:

    They might like to ask for this Director’s resignation.

  126. 126
    NoseyGet says:

    Why is there a speech bubble coming out of that window?
    Who is in there?
    We have a right to Know

  127. 127
    BasingstokeCon says:

    No thank YOU

  128. 128
    Ginger 3AAC pilot says:

    I’ll take Pippa as consolation prize

  129. 129
  130. 130
    Concrete Jungle says:

    I think I will like living with the sea flowing beneath my floor

  131. 131
    Pleb says:

    Alo, Alo, Alo. What have we here.

  132. 132
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Gaia, after 2 children that should be the limit then the snip for the men and hysterectomy for the women, if they don’t like it they can go to country that lets them breed uncontrolled, Ireland, Italy, middle and far east countries.

  133. 133
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    current rates for the first 2, then nothing less

  134. 134
    Howzat1932 says:

    Evan Davies mixes in such high society circles.One mixes with such nice people in the cottages of Islington he must find it difficult to discern porn as the poorer people do we just exist to pay his bloated salary.Better if he got himself off to the Guardian.

  135. 135
    Howzat1932 says:

    This could apply to giorgio two jags still he now sits with The Kinnocks in a place the promised to closed down in a previous life still when one gravy train stops jump onto another ain’t life grand for failed politicians.

  136. 136
    John Bellingham says:

    Rhymes with Fooker, not Fuck-ah.

  137. 137
    Royal Obstretician says:

    If the royal sprog is a mong or window-licker will it still be king or queen?

  138. 138
    Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off says:

    yes but you’ve never seen Lucretia’s Burger ‘cos we all know you prefer frankfurters


Seen Elsewhere

Javid: Let Tories Campaign For Out Vote | House
Ministry of Justice Loses Death Inquiry Data “In the Post” | TechnoGuido
Europe’s Crisis is Cameron’s Opportunity | Speccie
Sajid Javid is the Ultimate Thatcherite | Buzzfeed
Ed Argar Selected in Dorrell Seat | Leicester Mercury
88% of New Labour MPs Are Union Bods | Mark Wallace
Massively Popular Porn Site is Infecting Users | Techno Guido
Newspapers No Longer Willing to Toe Party Line | Roy Greenslade
Introducing the New CapX | CapX
Burnham’s Newsnight Debacle Dissected | Dan Hodges
How I Survived Dry January | Nigel Farage


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Dan Hodges on Labour unity

“We’ve heard a lot over the past few years about how Miliband has united Labour. But he has not united Labour. He has pacified Labour. He has placed it into a medically induced coma following the trauma of the party’s 2010 defeat.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers