July 22nd, 2013

Mandy’s Paper Thin Excuses

House of Lords rules were recently updated to make sure peers registered any interests they may have from “personal clients” rather than simply hiding behind a declaration that they work for a firm. So odd then that in his register of interests, Lord Mandelson does not mention controversial Asia Pulp and Paper, who have a lovely progressive record of  illegally logging endangered rainforests. Mandy is claiming that his declarations are in all in order and they are not a personal client,  yet in an interview last year he claimed:

“We are helping the top management at the company to realize their sustainability ambitions. To do this they have to comply with exacting standards and in a sense we are providing a bridge between what they are doing in Indonesia and what the EU and their European customers expect of them”.

He goes onto boast about what his experience in the European Commission brings to the client:

“When I was at the European Commission, I encouraged dialogue and a progressive trade policy, one that harnessed development and in which I encouraged sustainable and progressive practices wherever I could… So working with APP and helping the senior management understand the implications of the tough new European standards, and how they can use them to drive further improvement within the company is a big opportunity for us, and is in a sense continuing the work we did at the Commission.”

That sounds a lot like personal work to Guido… 


  1. 1
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Don’t waste your breath on him – we all know he’s sh*t.

  2. 2
    Ohthisbloodypc says:

    Every day, an area of credibility disappears from Parliament, the size of Peter Mandelson

  3. 3
    Call me Dave says:

    Hello. I would just like to remind everyone that we are all in this together…


  4. 4
    Ah! Monika says:

    As we win the Ashes Test and Tour de France, MPs say children should avoid competitive sports because it can put them off exercise for life


  5. 5
    Lynton Crosby says:

    Mandy is a shower, no mistake.

    And yet no mention of the lobbying elephant in the room, Mr L Crosby.

  6. 6
    Sandra in Accounts says:

    Why are these scumbags from New Labour above the law?

  7. 7
    Magic 8 Ball says:

    If Peter Mandelson is guilty of any impropriety he deserves to have the book thrown at him.

    There, that wasn’t very difficult, was it?

  8. 8
    The Naked Truth says:

    For Sale: One paper boy. Bit of a screw-up. Never straight with anyone. Cavorts with criminals.

  9. 9
    The Naked Truth says:

    I wouldn’t go that far, it’s just why to Labour/The EU employ him…

  10. 10
    Jimmy says:

    Why, do you describe yourself as “we”?

    How very grand.

  11. 11
    The Naked Truth says:

    All laws are based on a moral rule. That doesn’t mean to say for most things politicians do there are rules. Why are they extremely immoral without being legal. Because of our democratic deficit. Compare the German system, we could vote for a quality, economically stimulating party like Angela’s. And I don’t even fancy her. :)

  12. 12
    Lynmouth Campbell says:

    I’m a reliable clan. Not shoddy election winners.

  13. 13
    Ed the Duck says:

    Kate in Labour. Another convert!

  14. 14
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Asia Pulp and Paper – as covered by “Public Nose” for at least 3 years.

    You’re either behind Lord Gnome or… you’re behind…

  15. 15
    Whatever happened to all that Olympic Bullshit from 2012 ? says:

    Funny as only last year the same MPs were saying that they were going to fund sports for everyone, particularly kids, until the end of time on the back of how great the Olympics were.

    Discouraging competition is very EUSSR and not exactly good for the next generation. Not being competitive makes you very easy to beat.

  16. 16
    Lard Prescott says:

    Shouldn’t you hat-tip me, who came up with that joke? Although I probably nicked it myself..

  17. 17
    Mornington Crescent says:

    “Duchess of Cambridge admitted to hospital after going into Labour.”

    I’d run to the nearest A&E, too, if I’d been to see that bunch of tossers.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    David Cameron?

  19. 19
    Lord Stansted says:

    Very true. I often wonder if Dr D*v*d K*lly’s appearance before the Foreign Affairs Select Committee was now (post all those fucking scandals) could anyone have kept a straight face when that appalling non-entity Andrew MacKinlay told K*lly that he was before the High Court of Parliament?

  20. 20
    ITV News says:

    Weather warning – it’s going to rain

  21. 21
    Andy Burnham is morally reprehensible says:

    Andy Burnham’s staff have been editing his Wikipedia profile to remove negative references to him. Despite repeated attempts to simply state the fact that allegations have been made he ignored warnings, they are almost immediately removed from the page.

    Andy, I hope you fucking die. Actually, I take that back. I hope you get a 15 inch spiked dildo rammed up your arse, followed by having your scalp ripped off by a rusty stanley knife and having your face used as a toilet by 12 homeless men with gastroenteritis. And then you can die.

  22. 22
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Please don’t confuse Mandelson with Labour or Socialism.

  23. 23
    Well this explains why the Labour Trolls are out, and so screwed up... says:

    Union buying party and seats – fairly big scandal.

    Illegitimate children thrown in – literally Labour Union bastards – makes this interesting chat for the breakfast table.

    Mandelson up to his neck in a Lords lobbying scandal: We know he is bent, but this would be a particularly sweet sword for him to fall on.

    Is Chucka involved with this ? He seems to be flavour of the month with Labour’s more corrupt wing.

  24. 24
    Paniagua v5 says:

    OK so long as you don’t confuse Cameron with the Conservatives or Tory policies.

  25. 25
    Andy Burnham is morally reprehensible says:

    I don’t confuse Mandelson with a human being.

  26. 26
    Lord Mandlespawn - Lizard International says:

    You’re ‘barking’ up the wrong tree Guido.

  27. 27
    Lord Stansted says:

    Don’t worry, nobody takes any notice of wikipedia – apart from the entries about firearms, like the Martini-Henry, or bombers, like the AV Vulcan.

  28. 28
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    And how is Mandleson being paid for his advice? Off shore accounts, tax avoidance?
    This is an issue that Margaret Hodge should look at urgently.

  29. 29
    Point of Information 2 says:

    I think spotlight on !ndonesia / Mandelson is very illuminating when one considers some others who have come to grief down there recently:


    And for spice:


    Kretek’s all round…

  30. 30
    Maqboul says:

    He is a Lord but sees himself as the Queen.

  31. 31
    jmf says:

    Sunday minding my own business and reading my kindle, thought I would listen to the test scores. What a bloody mistake that was, blaring out of the radio was Milliband and Boycott having a love in, cannot stand Milliband and Boycott I think should be put down, together Christ

  32. 32
    Lord Stansted says:

    I do!

  33. 33
    Paniagua v5 says:

    I shall get ready to row in the boat to the standpipes in the next few weeks then.

  34. 34
    m.hodge says:

    It is only a tiny tiny amount….and he’s a politician

  35. 35
    Maqboul says:

    …or confuse Labour with Socialism or with the working classes.

  36. 36
    Point of Information 2 says:

    Collectivist faux pas ? He is a Labourite.

    Or perhaps a Freudian slip, implying that he was collaborating (conspiring ?) with others ?

    Makes his case worst as it implies he was not only being a bit loose with the reporting rules for lobbying, but others may have been as well. Would be interesting to see who would fall out of the Mandelson tree, if it was given a good shake.

  37. 37
    Lord Mandlespawn - Lizard International says:

    I have no issue with me getting filthy rich.

  38. 38
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    “The lobbying firm founded by the Tories’ chief election strategist, Lynton Crosby, advised private healthcare providers on how to exploit perceived “failings” in the NHS, according to a leaked document obtained by the Guardian”

    I think the end is in sight for Cameron.

  39. 39
    Living in 97.333% white Merseyside says:

    Mr Mandelson always reminds me of the Boom Years (1997-2007). What with him, Mr Campbell, the Iron Chancellor and that nice Mr Blair.

  40. 40
    Andy Burnham says:

    Does that give me plausible deniability then?

  41. 41
    Amazon.co.uk says:

    Your account is suspended.

  42. 42
    Celia says:

    Worst mistake I ever made in my life was when I was ten years old and wrote to Jim’ll Fix It and asked Jimmy Savile to fix it for me to go on It’s A Celebrity Knockout in Gary Glitter’s team. My second biggest mistake was as an adult, when I attempted suicide and ended up in A&E at Mid Staffs.

  43. 43
    bergen says:

    I have to wonder whether the young Mandy ever had any ideals and principles. If so, when did he lose them and become so obsessed with filthy lucre. Or did he simply realise that his family connections made Labour the likliest road to riches for him.

  44. 44
    what a plonker. says:

    Lynton Crosby has definitely got the morons in the
    Labour party rattled .

  45. 45
    Labour Websters Dictionary says:



  46. 46
    Lurker says:

    Utterly shocking, utterly predictable. Like making Jeremy Hunt the minister responsible for putting into practice his stated wish to replace the national health Service. No (un)elected government in Britain has ever attempted to destroy so much or hand over so much to profiteers

  47. 47
    Yee Fat Tuat says:

    All in the true spirit of being a Labour man, of course.

  48. 48
    Labour Websters Dictionary says:

    Peter Mandelson

    See: Remora

  49. 49
    The voice of reason says:


  50. 50
    P l e b says:

    Mandelson and Blair used the Labour Party as a trojan horse to set up a faux-Tory party.

  51. 51
    Hobsons Choice says:

    What dirt does she have on you?

  52. 52
    Tony Blair says:

    For my standard fee of £150,000, I’d be more than happy to stand outside the hospital after she’s given birth and declare that Kate is the People’s Duchess and her baby is the People’s Baby. What is important is.

  53. 53
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    Sorry… got up late. Is it too late to say that today’s cartoon is shit?

  54. 54
    P l e b says:

    In fact you righties should thank them both for furthering the cause of NeoCon liberalist Thatcherism when the ‘official’ Tory party was in no fit state to (under Hague/IDS/Dracula).

  55. 55
    Maud Merky says:

    Come into the garden, Lord…

  56. 56
    Kay's krazy says:

    Oh dear. Kay Burley is covering the royal birth for Sky. Knowing her she’ll end up asking a hospital staff member if Kate emptied her bowels when she gave birth.

  57. 57
    Matilda says:

    Not just the book – the whole bloody library mate!

  58. 58
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Can’t beat the glory Tory years 1979 to 1997, with magnificent Maggie and majestic Major. FTSE 100 rose 11 fold in 18 glorious years.

  59. 59
    Crosby Stills and Cash Ltd. says:

    As Guido wold be the first to agree, nothing to see here, move on.

  60. 60
    The BBC says:

    No mention at all. We have not been muck-raking with this Lynton Crosby story all week have we boys?

  61. 61
    stevo says:

    It’s as if Cameron’s set out to deliberately employ the most detestable and unprincipled characters possible. How Crosby’s position can be permitted by parliamentary standards is beyond me.

  62. 62
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    I am confused… Mid Staffs would surely have helped you on your way.

    Yet, evidently, you are still with us.

  63. 63
    Centre Parting says:

    Nearly walked into Miliband, Ed at Lords on Saturday – ruined my fucking day.

    They have pat down security checks, then allow that wanker in.

  64. 64
    Tachybaptus says:

    It’s lovely to see Guido expressing such tender concern for the rainforest. Didn’t think he had it in him.

  65. 65
    Curly wonders says:

    Do parliamentary committees have any authority over members of the HoL?

  66. 66
    Burgers are bad for you says:

    Well for a start Bing is not an MP. Does that help?

  67. 67
    P*ul Robeson says:

    I think that I shall never see, a poem lovely as a tree.

  68. 68
    The Critic says:

    It seems much is beyond you.Read comemnt 65. It may help

  69. 69
    ice cream lady says:


  70. 70
    Lynton Crosby says:

    I thought Guido wanted to smash all politicans, well except his mate Nigel.

  71. 71
    The Critic says:

    Will we be examining trade union lobbying at the same time? Slightly less dishonest I agree as they pay the money direct but still utterly unacceptable. When will Milliband minor be resigning? The end is in sight for him…….

  72. 72
    Baron Mendelsohn of Bummingham says:

    As long as I don’t pay my taxes.

  73. 73
    socialism is a mental illness says:

    The rear-gunning ,shirt-lifting, arab boy loving smarm-arse is up to his tricks again. Is there no end to this mans’ repulsive behaviour.

  74. 74
    Iron Bottom says:

    The Guardian live updaters were having a hissy fit at Butch Dave being allowed to pretend to be a human being on TMS. No complaints at Millionareband.

  75. 75
    Alfred Harmsworth says:

    “Man bites dog” is not news

  76. 76
    Living in 97.333% white Merseyside says:

    I haven’t purchased anything for about a fortnight. That must be a record!

  77. 77
    b-b-p says:

    Cameron will have no problem reading his children a fairy tale before sleep ,his speeches to the Public contain enough myth to send them into dreamland .The premise for the Austerity measures was to dupe the Public into thinking they were needed and that “Work Pays” .
    Nine out of 10 new claims for local housing allowance (LHA) in outer London are from families with at least one adult in work, a study has found, demolishing the myth that all claimants are “workshy” or “scroungers”.So “Work Pays” is an absolute Lie spouted by the Fascist ID Smith .
    Debt is a means of control so Osborne is more than misleading us by stating that Welfare is crippling the Country ,Tax Corporations and your over rich Friends Fairly and the Welfare bill would be insignificant .The word ‘spin’ was made acceptable by the master himself Mandleson ,but we the Public recognise it for what it is LIES upon LIES .http://brokenbritishpolitics.simplesite.com

  78. 78

    Slippery as an eel. Be nice to see him hung out to dry one day soon!

  79. 79
    Aunt Mat says:

    How the heck can he pay the mortgages on his houses if he doesn’t cheat a little?

    The greedy article probably feels entitled to his cash because of all the “good” that he has done for this country

  80. 80
    NHS Death Camp says:

    When is Mandelson finally going to be held accpountable? He is the living contradiction of the aphorism that “crime doesn’t pay”.

  81. 81
    Hilda says:

    It can only be a question of time till they catch Mandy, but he may be made of Teclon, unless they’re too young.

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    Because,Sandra, they make the bl**dy Laws.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    They employ him because birds of a feather stick together.

  84. 84
    Wanker says:

    Fucking Useless Arsehole.

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