July 19th, 2013

Maria “Nicola Murray” Miller

In boycotting the Open Golf Championship because it doesn’t allow women members, and then putting political pressure on the BBC to demand they take action against John “no looker” Inverdale, struggling Maria Miller has excelled herself this week. So much so that DCMS civil servants have nicknamed her Nicola Murray after the bungling minister from the Thick of It. Unfortunately for everyone who has to work with her, she will no doubt survive the reshuffle when it eventually happens. After all, as Malcolm Tucker put it to Nicola:

“Look, don’t worry. The PM is not going to sack you after a week. Sacked after twelve months, looks like you’ve f***ed up. Sacked after a week, looks like he’s f***ed up.”

Looks like Dave will have to wait to put her out of her misery.


  1. 1

    God! She’s stupid.

  2. 2
    Nicola Murray says:

    I am taking legal advice.

  3. 3
    Bazinga! says:

    Why are female politicians so fucking stupid?

  4. 4
    Andrew Efiong says:

    If she’s not up to the job, don’t pussyfoot: fire her.

    No need for Alan Sugar theatrics, just get someone capable to do the job.

    The public sector is full of jobsworths, slackers and incompetents and Miller is the latest example.

  5. 5
    M102 says:

    She has always come across as a hot flushed, hesitant ditherer. She reminded me of Nicola Murray from day one.

  6. 6
    Sexist pig says:

    Why are females so fucking stupid?

    Corrected that for you :)

  7. 7
    Lord Stansted says:

    Perhaps I’m missing something, but what exactly is wrong with Maria Miller? Specifics, please.

  8. 8
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Department for culture media and sport = department of bread and circuses.

  9. 9
    Sit Petra says:

    Not sure I understand that, the Open Golf Championship is not a golf club, it’s a sporting competition held a golf course…”boycotting the Open Golf Championship because it doesn’t allow women members”.

  10. 10
    Anjem says:

    I am disgusted at the way a kuffar criminal has attacked Brother Adebolajo. I was so angry yesterday, I forgot to pick up my wife from school.

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    I love Malcolm Tucker !

  12. 12
    Anjem says:

    The prisons of the evil decadent west are filled with ràpists! There are no ràpists in prison in islamic countries. None! Zero!

    And that’s because ràpe is legal under islam.

  13. 13
    Nick Clegg says:

    Cameron need to show some metal, just like I did in dealing with David Ward.

  14. 14
    Thatched says:

    Agreed. Maggie Thatcher was a stupid fucking cùnt. Good riddance to the bitch.

  15. 15
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    It’s ‘mettle’, you fuckwit, Clegg.

  16. 16
    Owen Jones,Team Gay. says:

    Belmarsh Notice Board. For sale : Toothbrush. Apply Michael Adebolajo, Cell 48

  17. 17
    D'oh says:

    Mettle, dumkopf.

  18. 18
    Allan, you at t'bar says:

    In Syria it is now compulsory.

  19. 19
    Dick the Prick says:

    On the impartial BBC last night they had Harperson and some none entity female athlete drivelling irrelevant nonsense with Maitless about sexism in sport all in agreement that men only clubs should be banned. Great balance – 3 lefty birds all carpet munching each other and both Cammo and Miller are in agreement. How very depressing.

  20. 20

    Leveson, expenses, internet, wimmin…

    How much do you need?

  21. 21
    Anjem says:

    We will rescue, brother! The kuffar will be defeated!

    I will visit you in jail later today, brother! Right after I’ve gone to sign on at the jobcentre.

  22. 22
    Nick Clegg says:

    I’m so very, very, sorry.

  23. 23
    Sun Reader says:

    She isn’t even a butter face?

  24. 24
    John Prescott says:

    Your grasp of languistics is badly appalling.

  25. 25
    Maggie Thatcher says:

    No one ever accused me of being a woman. A nasty evil deranged cùnt, yes. A woman, no.

  26. 26
    Vote L,L or C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    There have been notable exceptions. As a bloke I can name one to shut you right up: Vicky Price. I think she enjoyed playing her part so far and will do ok out of it all in all.

  27. 27
    John Prescott says:

    I like to put butter on my face and have Tracy lick it off. It’s proper champion, I tell thee.

  28. 28
    David Ward says:

    Sieg Heil

  29. 29
    Thatcher Lover says:

    Get over it,please,please get over it. Fixations are not healthy.

  30. 30
    Andy Burnham says:

    I’m a killer queen
    Nurses and amphetamines
    Dynamite with a surgical laser beam

  31. 31
    Imam Blacktarbadrash says:

    Anjem, you know that allowing your wife to be educated is haram.

    Please flog her to within an inch of her life to make amends.

  32. 32
    Thatcher Lover says:

    Exactly -gesture politics from our political classes.Sadly they cannot figure out who they need to stick two fingers up to.

    Lord help us.

  33. 33
    Maybe you should go to Saudi Arabia. It's the perfect place for misogynists says:

    Good old casual misogyny here. Those of you who have wives and daughters, do you call them wimmin or say all women are stupid? Maybe you privately do despise your wives and daughters.

  34. 34
    Vote L,L or C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    Correct, rising in the ranks of Labour at the moment are those who don’t get mentioned but get airtime, what is that clever, cultured and butter one who always gets the BBC questions right: Mary Creagh, and then there is Yvette who shadows May on Women and Equality (I think). All in all: don’t expect to be ‘the media Darling’ if your ideas wouldn’t get through a focus group.

  35. 35
    Morgan's Organ says:

    Max Miller, Mick Miller, Ben Miller, Maria Miller – A long line of comedians!

  36. 36
    HG Wells says:

    I think the Heat Ray was meant to be from aliens.

  37. 37
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    Could we run an experiment and cross breed her with Jon Snow to produce a Polly Toynbee for the 21st Century

  38. 38
    Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    I think the trollish remarks about all women are obvious and full of cutting our own real arguments about women’s “equality” to pieces:

    1. We are specifically upset the blunder on The Open which departs from an international accepted norm. If you want media and women to play and follow the Ladies Tournament at Sunningdale I suggest you write a strongly worded letter to NBC, the BBC and Murdoch. Or unleash someone stronger and better than the Ozzie feminist lady who may not be enough.

    2. WTF can’t Inverdale say that for sponsorship purposes MM is “was never going to be a looker”, that is an opinion in the context it stood. Gok Wan could have got away with it and admired her muscles as I do.

  39. 39
    Maria Miller says:

    It’s especially sexist when the BBC only puts intelligent, slim, attractive young women like Mishal Husain or Kate Silverton on TV and holds them up as being the kind of women men want to look at or listen to. Really, if a fat, ugly, stupid old cow is capable of holding down a responsible job as a cabinet minister why is she not supposed to be good enough to read the news? I have asked all my friends about this and they ALL agree with me. It’s like the BBC is saying, “We are providing a service for the beautiful people and intellectuals. It’s not supposed to be for people like you and Anna.” It’s a disgrace.

  40. 40
    Magic 8 Ball says:


    In what way is she struggling?

    Or has Guido read the same book as Cameron and learnt that if you say something with sufficient repetition, and with enough (fake) conviction, people will eventually believe that what you are saying is correct?

  41. 41
    Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    Freudian slip: M Bartoli.

  42. 42
    Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    Count yourself lucky you are not in Greece. By the way, I think you compare favorably to Kirsty Wark who is prob more respected than the two you cite.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    If Dave wants to sack someone he could well start with whoever that deranged face pulling female was slumped alongside Loughton on Wednesday.Then Miller.

  44. 44
    Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    Spoken like her SPAD.

    1. Don’t insult Inverdale even if Labour threaten to do it for you. Sponsorship in sport is based on weight for women (and men) so clarify, with his consent, what he was driving at for him to Labour.

    2. As to the Open, redirect your energy into raising women’s coverage across the board and celebrate the recent BBC coverage of Women’s Football.

    3. Get reelected therefore.

  45. 45

    It almost sounds orchestrated.

  46. 46
    Ruprecht says:

    Damn right, in order that men have access all areas including womens toilets/changerooms (provided they claim to ‘feel’ like women), it’s entirely appropriate that women have the same rights.

  47. 47
    Magic 8 Ball says:

    Is she ‘struggling’ any more than her predecessor Jeremy Hunt?

  48. 48
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Best thing, to punish the beeboid scum, is to put the TV rights to Wimbledon & The Open up to the highest bidder every 5 years.

  49. 49
    Maria Miller says:

    Yes, I remember getting stuck in a room full of Scotsmen and Socialists who all thought Kirsty Wark was wonderful. I asked if she was the one I’d seen on the Antiques Roadshow and said she must be worth a fortune. I was mistaken about the Antiques Roadshow thing, of course, but they all glared at me as though I’d try to tell some kind of joke which I didn’t understand.

  50. 50
    Holly says:

    Because they are meant to be ‘representatives’ of today’s fucking stupid women.

    Men are sexist, they have been forever.
    They should smell like men, look like men, talk like men, and remarkably the women might find they are the nicer bunch.
    Tons more fun, much better company, and not so far up their own backsides with what they look like.
    Their faces do not ‘run’ in the rain, and they don’t have to spend hours taking off/putting on several bits of fakery, in order to make their ‘friends’ feel inferior.

    So that sport bloke appreciated the female tennis players brain/skill more than her appearance…What kind of a message is that to be sending out to people!

  51. 51
    bonny lass says:

    boycott the british lions, premiership, 6 nations, f1, cricket, darts, tour de frog, world cup, tennis, golf……..

  52. 52
    Alex Salmond says:

    Nicola Murray? I thought it was Sturgeon? Am I getting her confused with someone else?

  53. 53
    stun says:

    Think that was Glenn Miller..

  54. 54
    Holly says:

    Harman has branded a bloke as ‘sexist’, because he prefers sports women to be good at what they do as opposed to prancing around, being useless, yet being ‘worshipped’ for being a looker.

    Maria Miller, jumped on the merry-go-round, because she, like other female politicians today think us women should be equal…..we are NOT, NEVER EVER EVER will be, and some of us remaining sane one’s have NEVER wanted to be.

    Men, NEED time away from us, where there is NO fear of any ‘women’ piling in steaming drunk, with their attire leaving nothing to the imagination, and screeching on about all kinds of irrelevant bollocks most sane men couldn’t give a f*** about. (usually the ‘tragedy’ of something breaking or falling off their person).

  55. 55
    Holly says:

    How many women are screaming blue murder to follow golf?

    Get real FFS!

  56. 56
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    Don’t forget Sophie Raworth another intelligent, slim and attractive BBC woman.

  57. 57
    Holly says:

    That’s a shame.
    Has she not got legs or something?
    Is she too high up in the ‘people’ ranking to get a bus or a taxi?
    Or is she one of the fakery loving dim wits we call today’s ‘women’ and still standing where you were meant to pick her up?

    As for the other bit of your comment, as Mrs Brown would say…
    ‘That’s nice’!

  58. 58
    Bluto says:

    Oh, I shouldn’t take Jon Snow too seriously. His inner soul shines through that thin-lipped exterior that wears socialist grievance like a suit and the fact that he even mentions Rolex tells you all to need to known about his conviction.

    As for Miller I “struggle” to see her as a Conservative politician at all. Like quite a few of them these days she ought to be in the Labour party.

  59. 59
    Vote L, L or C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    Yes because if anything she’s harsher on the BBC who have to be courted to win. Mock that at your peril.

  60. 60
    Vote L, L or C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    Tomorrow’s caviar producer. I do hope they get independence because then they can lobby Brussels and free themselves from the BBC’s bias towards Scotland every flipping day. e.g. “Edinburgh Festival this that and the other” “Balamory is life”. “The weather is still quite unseasonal and not quite summer: in the north of Britain is Cloudy and cold” etc etc etc

  61. 61
    Morgan's Organ says:

    THE MILLERS TALE – G. Chaucer

    “She put out her hole and he who knew no better or worse but with his mouth he kissed her ass so sweetly”.

    Over 600 years later another Miller is still making an ass of herself

  62. 62
    Arthur says:

    or castrated

  63. 63
    John Bellingham says:

    When women undergo ovulation their mental processes governing decision making are reduced by 10-15%. There was an evolutionary advantage once in that they would be encouraged to mate without thinking through any negative consequences. Similarly during pregnancy, a woman’s brain shrinks by up to 20% and takes a year to recover ( the famous “baby brain” that women themselves complain of). Many then spend several years communicating with small children on the children’s level.

  64. 64
    PC Pleb says:

    The woman is a f****ng idiot! She should be in front of the beaks for her expenses claims. Check out the Telegraph for the 13th December 2012. Stop! Thief!

  65. 65
    Saxon Sid says:

    Inverdale’s a twat and needs a good kicking

    I support Maria Miller

  66. 66

    Poor dave again picked on oh well what fag packet to choose all those different colours

  67. 67
    Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off says:

    Nothing wrong with this. I boycotted the WI ‘cos they don’t accept men. And I even make splendid jam and scones.

    Tories are a parody. Bollocks about windfarms, gay marriage, sexism in sport, Murdoch papers do naughty things, etc.

    Approve the 3rd runway at Heathrow, slash the civil service by 20% (like Canada did), introduce subsidised childcare for every mother that goes back to work full time, market rents for all working council tenants, £20k cap for benefit claimants, scrap overseas aid unless we produce a budget surplus, halve the number of sitting MPs, no more foreign wars, all immigrants to speak the language be educated and financially independent with professional job or prospects only. Oh and tell EC to go fuck themselves and join Nafta – seriously they would welcome us.

  68. 68
    Nemesis says:

    Strange that almost all women who are against sexism are usually plain or ugly. They complain about page 3 girls but who are the models for the big tits – well other better looking woman of course. And in pornography it is women who are quite prepared to do the most bestial things for money.

  69. 69
    Sexy Pig says:

    Why are politicians so fucking stupid?

    Corrected that for you :)

  70. 70
    Ugly Maria says:

    Lynton Crosby put Miller up to this.

    Result : several articles in the Grauniad supporting Miller and attacking the BBC for failing to obey instantly. Egged on by hordes of half wit screeching feminist harpies.

    Look forward to some more virtuoso ‘divide and rule’ scams from Crosby.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Is there anything wrong with the light in main picture? For it SEEMS that the woman at the front might have been added later.

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Then again, C4 News need a token left-winger.

  73. 73
    Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off says:

    I don’t know about that. I reckon Chuka would do double anal dirty sanchez followed by a boston steamer if the price was right. That boy would sell his gran for half a packet of toffos.

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