July 19th, 2013

Hancock Tries to Dodge Portsmouth Investigation

Self-confessed teen fondler Mike Hancock is trying all the tricks in the book to get out of giving evidence to the Portsmouth City Council investigation into his conduct. He says he won’t talk until after his High Court case is over. The lawyers’ fees are clearly hitting Hancock hard in the pocket:

“This is the advice I have been given by my barrister. And you don’t pay for expensive legal advice only to ignore it. I will fully co-operate with the council, I have no problem whatsoever, but my barrister’s advice is not to do that until after the High Court.”

Well he wouldn’t want to risk saying anything silly, would he?

Via TBG, Portsmouth News.


  1. 1
    Sir William Waad says:

    Whatever advice a barrister gives is designed to maximise his or her fees, rather than for any other purpose, one might suppose.

  2. 2
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Dirty old man.

  3. 3
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:


    The City Solicitor is in my and the Grand Master’s pockets and a fellow Brother, that is why I gave him the job and a 3000% pay rise. He is doing his job really well –
    ‘We will arrange a sub-committee meeting at the earliest possible opportunity, hopefully in a matter of weeks, so the matter can be discussed.’
    Why on earth can’t it be done this week? Because I don’t want it to be. Boaz.

  4. 4
    Anon...........& Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    I am certain the Voters will “richly reward the Leb Dims for there behaviour !!”

    at the Gen*eral Ele*ction when ever they decide call it & certainly

    before Ma*y 20*15 !!

  5. 5
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Better put up a picture of myself showing my masonic rings for the protection it gives and also for my many young female fans to swoon over. Boaz,

  6. 6
    Roma Robert.. says:

    Deserves a good spanking ??

  7. 7
    Handycock says:

    I confess. I’m a pedalofile. I can’t get enough of riding them. I’m ride them all day if I could and get all nice and wet.

  8. 8
    Tachybaptus says:

    They don’t decide to call it any more, it’s fixed-term, so it’s May 2015 unless something spectacularly disastrous happens (which would be fun).

  9. 9
    jesus is real says:

    I am also fascinated by the proposition that human relationships, human feelings are things that exist thoughout time

  10. 10
    Aaron D Highside says:

    …and the taxpayers’ and ratepayers’ money keeps rolling in.

  11. 11
    Mike Handycock, chanelling Edmund Burke says:

    To tax and please, no more than to love and be wise, is not given to men.

  12. 12
    Handycock says:

    I’ve been a pedalophile for many years. It first started when I went to a park on a sunny day and saw all the lovely pedalos on the water. I knew it was wrong but I just had to ride one. Ever since then I’ve been a serial pedalophile, going to parks three or four times a week. The feeling of riding one and getting all wet is just too much to resist. I won’t stop riding them. I’ll be a pedalophile till the day I die.

  13. 13
    Paniagua v5 says:

    If you look at the picture really quick it looks like you are wearing handcuffs.

    Wishful thinking.

  14. 14
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    For those of you who don’t live in Portsmouth or read our local newspaper, I comment on stories about me under the pseudonyms ‘MileEnder’ and ‘miilne’ you will see that I have made brilliant comments under these names in the article I referred to above. I also get all the local LibDems to tick my comments with a ‘thumbs up’ and those against me with a ‘thumbs down’. Jahbulon.

  15. 15

    When I was at the bank we would regularly ignore the lawyers advice. Nobody got hurt but the deputy assistant manager would often try to enforce the advice. We would nod and agree when he spoke to us, and then ignore him as soon as he went back into his office. Life was fun and needed to be lived.

  16. 16
    Olga Bonkalot says:

    Here’s a recent video taken of you in Moscow Handy after a heavy afternoon with me and the girls. Vladimir and Katya send their love.

  17. 17
    Andrew Efiong says:

    He’s on the run, ducking and diving and refusing to be held accountable for his sleazy ways!

  18. 18

    I wonder if this comment is related to comment 7 – they certainly are equally not funny

  19. 19
    Crick 2 days ago...wakey wakey geedo says:

  20. 20
    Bazinga! says:

    Talking of dirty old men.

    I wonder how many wives are going to be happy if all male golf clubs are banned? Suddenly lots of pretty blondes in tiny skirts and tight tops playing golf?

    The old man telling his wife he’s off to go play around at the club will have a new meaning!!!


  21. 21
    Handycock says:

    I won’t stand for this sort of intolerance. Pedalophilia is a human right!

  22. 22
    jesus is real says:

    is everything meant ? some seed that is blowing about in the air, is it’s movement controlled by some thing ?

  23. 23
    jesus is real says:

    When I loved Jesus wonderful co-incidences would happen in my life, then I doubted the existence of Jesus and he started to send me very difficult tests, I have said that I am sorry but I do not think he has finished with me yet.

  24. 24
  25. 25
    Lynton Crosby says:

    Owen Jones now considered racist, homophobic

  26. 26
    Mornington Crescent says:

    I suspect when his lawyers advised him to “keep it zipped”, they weren’t just referring to his mouth…

  27. 27
    Aydodge E. Scheisster QC says:

    If your bosses ever thought you really would follow every particle of the considered legal advice to the letter, they probably would not have hired you, as you would have been too stodgy for the biz.

    It’s all done to protect the institution, of course– “These young blokes were told time and again what, and what not, to be doing, and one can hardly blame us when our corporate culture has always been to comply with the law. We mandate all sorts of training in this area blah blah blah…” If Mr Killjoy, dep asst mgr, didn’t at least attempt to ride herd on you, or more to the point, be seen to be doing so, he wouldn’t be doing his part in the whole charade.

    “About half the practice of a decent lawyer is telling would-be clients that they are damned fools and should shut up. ”
    ― Elihu Root, noted early 20th Century American diplomat and international corporate lawyer

  28. 28
    jesus is real says:

    all things have an aura, something that projects around them. It is like a smell over the hereditary bad smells have been associated with danger ( it will make you ill)
    same with people, their look, their smell, their demeanor tells you.
    these subconscious understandings are very important.

  29. 29
    UKIP voter says:

    Bring on the by election. I’ll go and help canvass, leaflet drop etc in Portsmouth. Never been there.

  30. 30
    billy the barrister says:

    It seems a very odd situation where the council sets up an enquiry at public expense waits
    3 months then finds out that the accused is unable to give evidence upon the advice of his
    Own legal advisor. Did the councils own legal officers not foresee this at the outset of the enquiry.If the enquiry is now stalled it seems the council has managed to waste public money
    On hiring a QC for an enquiry always doomed to fail.I assume as always in the public sector
    No one is to blame!.

  31. 31

    His barrister, will make him into a nice little earner!

  32. 32

    Get your own m*niker.

  33. 33

    It is my sockpuppet. He does not know what he is talking about as usual. I have found him on three consecutive pages.

  34. 34
    Anon...........& Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    Its my understanding they can contrive amongst themselves, IF its to there
    political advantage to call an earlier general election as they only need 60 % of MP’s to agree to it or a Vote No Confidence is passed.

    Here is the link to Wikipedia


    Given the state of Zanu*Lie*Labor with bought & paid for Red Ed clinging to the helm with Com*rade Mclu*sky rite up his ars*e dictating policy & MP’s !!

    And the Opinion Polls % on the Leb Dims who will lose even more with a 2015 GE plus UKIP will be much stronger by May 2015

    Call me Dave & his Socialist Tori*es must see the advantage of going early.

    With all of the good news stories & photo’s being fed daily to the media

    rather than waiting until May 2015. Will CMD want to repeat the 1997 John

    Major mistake & run thru to the bitter end ?? doubt that, as it would let bought

    & paid for Red Ed into No.10…….a monumental disaster for everyone IMHO.

    I suspect CMD & his Soc*ialist Tories have already pencilled in either Oct/Nov

    2013 or May 2014 with the plan to throttle the UKIP surge as a major aim…..

    If CMD waits until May 2015 & he will be in big trouble PLUS Taxes are going to

    to rise once the GE is out of the way, with the deficit over a Trillion Pounds by


    Interest times I believe !!!!!

  35. 35
    Anon...........& Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    + 30K others as well…………

    BTW CMD is he pleading with Handy*cock not to take the Stewardship of the Chilterns 100. As he does is best to ensure UKIP do not have any MP’s prior to GE which will
    mean CMD will be forced to accept Nigel Farage in the GE TV Debates, as we all know
    Nigel will make mince meat of all Three of the walking disasters called Party Leaders
    so they all have a real vested interest to ensure it does not happen…..

    “Never give the electorate what the really want !!!” its never called Democracy !!!

    well not in this country……..its handshakes, fixing & manipulation & of course we

    know whats best for the great unwashed as we stay at the top of the Heap !! by

    divine right…….& ordained from on high on the Cons*LieLabor*LebDims for

    ever more

  36. 36
    19th hole says:

    You are clearly a fan of Ronnie Corbett who told that “joke” in the 1970s.

  37. 37
    Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Streey says:

    You are truly the widow’s son, Hiram Abif, Handy. Protection in place. Boaz.

  38. 38
    Sussex Sid says:

    Good to see Handy back in the spotlight..I don’t think anyone can touch him for taking the
    Voters for a ride.I think he should be made to hand in his passport or is that still lost at sea.
    Another two years of pure comedy gold to come from this rogue.

  39. 39
    Scunthorpe Cat says:

    You need a sock proof moniker old boy

  40. 40

    I do hold your internal meaning very close to my heart and, indeed, other parts of my anatomy.

    But what one man can do…

  41. 41
    The name is Perv, Handyperv says:

    Watch it sunshine or my boys will be on to you. Boaz.

  42. 42
  43. 43
    havin a piss says:

    I’m reading this while sitting down having a piss, its the way forward guys.

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