July 19th, 2013

Friday Caption Contest (Trip to the Pub Edition)


112 Comments

  1. 1
    Richard Head says:

    Metropolitan Police to investigate fraudulent child benefit claimant.

    Like

  2. 2
    Fact Hunt says:

    ‘How long will it take for me to lose this one’.

    Like

  3. 3
    Gotcha says:

    “You know what happened last time they left me holding this…”

    Like

  4. 4
    Bill Quango MP-X says:

    I don’t care if you are the foreign secretary. Put your sun hat on you will get sunburn.

    Like

  5. 5
    Martin Day says:

    “I think that Owen Jones will enjoy playing with this,while us macho men drink real ale”

    Like

  6. 6
    Dominic H says:

    Look at little plastic Boris, all about to melt!

    Like

  7. 7
    IanM says:

    Coalition party leaders seen out for a summer stroll

    Like

  8. 8
    fitaloon says:

    So that’s Lynton Crosby….
    http://t.co/y0DyJ3bJp9

    Like

  9. 9
    Eileen Critchley says:

    He can’t even throw his toys out of his pram properly.

    Like

  10. 10
    Steve Miliband says:

    The PM responds to cries for younger, more female cabinet

    Like

  11. 11
    John Bercow says:

    ‘My daughter’s very quiet, well have to go the more often!’

    Like

  12. 12
    Bazinga! says:

    Cameron prepares for his next job in 2015….as a house husband

    Like

  13. 14
    UKIP voter says:

    i’m not utting you down for Eton, the Bullingdon or White’s

    Like

  14. 16
    Scott Lithgow says:

    Now Nick I am going away on holiday but I will be back and you can always ring if you get stuck…

    Like

  15. 17
    genghiz the kahn says:

    met release photos of plebgate suspects.

    Like

  16. 18
    Bazinga! says:

    Cameron to Andy Burnham “here’s one you didn’t manage to kill”

    Like

    • 93
      makem says:

      I think you’ll find that cameron has killed more disabled people though – ask the DWP

      Like

  17. 19
    elginjon says:

    Well this should keep Maria Miller out of trouble over the summer recess!

    Like

  18. 20
    Fabians are evil says:

    Oh dear a helpless babe! dear Ed has lost his union strings

    Like

  19. 21
    The Fallen Angel says:

    At least I know this one CAN’T be Boris’….

    Like

  20. 24
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Left holding the baby.

    Like

  21. 25
    Elksy says:

    After leaving their daughter in a pub Samantha Cameron gives Dave something to practice with

    Like

  22. 27
    couldn't make it up says:

    get fed up of those libdems, keep leaving their girlfriend’s toys here

    Like

  23. 28
    Jon Izzard says:

    Oh, you were born yesterday? Presumably that makes you a big fan of the Eds then?

    Like

  24. 29
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “Which reminds me, any news on the Kate front? Do we have the congratulatory message ready? How am I supposed to feel about the sprog, anyway?”

    Like

  25. 30
    Andrew Efiong says:

    “Nick Clegg never tidied up after he played with his toys”

    Like

  26. 31
    Ruprecht says:

    There’s nothing more embarrassing to the middle classes than offspring with a diffability, there isn’t anything those folks won’t do to rid themselvses of what they erroneously perceive to be a stigma on their genetic bloodlines, nomesayin?

    Like

  27. 32
    Julian says:

    Where’s Jimmy Savile when you need him?

    Like

  28. 33
    Steve Miliband says:

    ”Government for Dummies”

    Like

  29. 35
    Mike Handycock says:

    Give us a chance princess, you never know.

    Like

  30. 37
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, I know I’m not your mummy but she’s busy running the country these days.

    Like

  31. 38
    Bill Quango MP-X says:

    Dave’s plan to get around the spare room subsidy rejected by DWP.

    Like

  32. 39
    Anonymous says:

    “They let me have this one in case I leave it behind in a pub”

    Like

  33. 40

    ‘Now, you’ve done a global pee!’

    Like

  34. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Crying baby receives wrong dummy.

    Like

  35. 43
    Sit Petra says:

    Plastic fantastic!.

    Like

  36. 44
    Dave says:

    I’m sure my fellow toryites who also understand the homosocial nature of boys schools and male only environments also appreciate the necessity of the public mask of a normal hetero family man. It’s unfortunate for my public image that Sam and I were inflicted with a differently abled child, but uh somehow, thanks to the tamestream media and the exclusion of disabled people from politics and law and presstitutism, we were able to pass off the death of our diiferently abled son as a natural occurrance, yeah that put me in Rupert’s pocket, but hey, I’m not here for Jesus!

    Like

  37. 46

    “This won’t feed 6 for Sunday lunch”

    Like

  38. 47
    Sit Petra says:

    Put me down, your not my daddy!.

    Like

  39. 48
    PitPony says:

    Recall having a real one of these once…Just can’t remember where I put it

    Like

  40. 49
    Senior Civil Servant says:

    If he were Nick Clegg, I’d drop him..

    Like

  41. 50
    Kendo Nagaski says:

    David just about to burst into tears after results of tests reveal that the ‘child’ cannot be his as it is not a cabbage patch kid.

    Like

  42. 51

    C’mon!

    Fucking bark!

    Like

  43. 54
    Frankie says:

    Like

  44. 55
    Langdaler says:

    “Calm down dear!”

    Like

  45. 56
    Jabba Le Chat says:

    The real one’s back in the pub…

    Like

  46. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Flashman prectices not throwing the dolly out of the pram

    Like

  47. 60
    horsetraders says:

    in the spirit of the equality agenda, Dave agreed to go first on breast feeding duty.

    Like

  48. 61
    Dave is a liar and hates the UK says:

    Dave steals royal baby….

    Like

  49. 63
    Dave is a liar and hates the UK says:

    Fake plastic child seen with buggy in Westminster..

    Like

  50. 64
    John says:

    Dave weighs up a potential replacement for the Culture Secretary…

    Like

  51. 65
    Dave says:

    I’m not sure if my agenda is clear here, it should be clear from the policies I push – but, as a homosocial schooled person, I am pro-homo rights and anti-disabilty rights.

    It was a tremendous embarrassment to my ‘wife’ and myself to have a child who is differently abled, since we go to such great pains to present as a middle class hetero couple since we see that as our voting appeal, and I’m sure those of you in the ‘club’ understand that ‘marriages’ such as ours are arranged.

    I also want to make it clear that this is a matter I very much relate to with the opposition party who also had the same ‘blight’ of a differently abled child visited upon them, whilst both parties understand the need to push homosexual rights, the last thing we need or want is one of these ‘tards’ in our own families, it doesn’t suit our PR strategy.

    Like

  52. 66

    Signs of desperation in Operation Yewtree

    Like

  53. 67
    Ho Hum says:

    David Cameron, the best Pram Minister this country has ever had.

    Like

  54. 68
    Jeremy Zeid says:

    Right. .. That’s Anna Soubry’s replacement. Now for Maria Miller.

    From Jeremy Zeid (Harrow)

    Sent from Samsung Mobile

    Like

  55. 69

    They have both shit themselves.

    Like

  56. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron turns up at prison gates with a gift for Stuart Hall

    Like

  57. 72
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    Oh Maria…you have shit yourself again

    Like

  58. 73
    NHS Statistics says:

    From the cradle to the grave

    Like

  59. 74
    Gaye Mann (Mrs) says:

    “Eurgh get rid, it’s horribly white! I specified a photo op with pickaninny chilluns!”

    Like

  60. 75
    scottishcalvin says:

    Please someone tell me it’s not another one of Boris’ ?

    Like

  61. 76
    No agenda says:

    “Why the hell did I ever agree in to letting you be Deputy PM?”

    Like

  62. 77
    Phil Q says:

    “mmm .. right size – pink colour scheme, so it’s girl – wonder if Samantha will notice it’s not Nancy ….”

    Like

  63. 78
    Crazed Loon says:

    Politician’s attempt to snatch candy from a baby goes horribly wrong.

    Like

  64. 79
    G'day cobbers, it's Lynton Crosby says:

    “Fuck me dead Dave, the knob jockie’s Royal baby has let us down big time. It’s a pig’s arse for a photo op, but it’s all we could do at short notice!”

    Like

  65. 80
    Aaron D Highside says:

    There’s something not quite genuine about you, Daddy.

    Like

  66. 81
    Chillaxing Dave says:

    Mama! Dada!

    “WTF, you still can’t get gay marriage friendly dolls!”

    Like

  67. 82
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    Oh bugger. First I leave one in the saloon bar and now I’ve brought the wrong one back!

    Like

  68. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Baby spits out dummy.

    Like

  69. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Crosby’s Ash Steals Young.

    Like

  70. 85
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘Ask me about Crosby again and I’ll rip your fucking arms off. I did not have lobbying relations with that man.’

    Like

  71. 87
    verticalwater says:

    NHS……. Now where’s the fucking bath water?

    Like

  72. 88
    retype says:

    You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Now let me make myself clear… no, no… now let’s be very clear about this… no, Now let me make myself absolutely clear about this… yes, better…Life in plastic, it’s fantastic, You can brush my hair, tum te dum de dum, you talkin’ to me? etc etc

    Like

  73. 89
    Anonymous says:

    ” I just love a Shambaby”

    Like

  74. 94
    bubbles says:

    Cameron: Sam are you sure its mine, looks a bit plastic to me, Sam: yes it is

    Like

  75. 96
    Anonymous says:

    Yet another one buggered.

    Like

  76. 97
    Chillaxing Dave says:

    [squeeze] I wuv you, we’ll be friends for ever!

    “Listen to that Crosby, you fucktard! I said your poll results about my personal rating were a crock of shit!”

    Like

  77. 98
    Aparat says:

    “It’s backbencher role-play time.”

    Like

  78. 99
    BANANA REPUBLIC BRITAIN says:

    Oi ! Dave you fuckwit , the real one is still in the pub !

    Like

  79. 100
    Stop Press says:

    Bercow Abducted

    Like

  80. 101
    Paul Clayton says:

    Ffion will kill me letting you go out without your baseball cap!

    Like

  81. 102
    Cast-Iron Guarantee says:

    This little PR stunt should win over all those dim women voters. And I hope the subliminal message gets through — women may be seen but not heard

    Like

  82. 103
    Fisher-Price says:

    Politician not trusted until results of latest CRB check come through….

    Like

  83. 104
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    Voice from off camera “Stewrth Dave …..missed opportunity mate ……why is this doll not black or at least coffee colored?”

    Like

  84. 105
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    Doll: “fuck off Dave. I am a UKIP supporter”

    Like

  85. 107
    Aparat says:

    “It’s my turn to push you around – Mrs. Bone needs a rest.”

    “I promised Sam I wouldn’t lose this one.”

    Like

  86. 108
    Baron Skinner says:

    “I know he wants minors to join the Government: well now he has got one.”

    Like

  87. 109
    Aparat says:

    “Wham, Bam, Thank-you Sam, Leaves Cam with Pram.”

    Like

    • 111
      Aparat says:

      A bit better, but no more humourous:

      “‘Wham, Bam, Thank-you Sam’, Leaves Cam Carrying the Pram.”

      Like

  88. 110
    Heidi the Blow-Up Doll says:

    I should never have slept with a man whose face is made of Botox.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Even Ed’s Friends Call Him ‘Bad Luck Magnet’ | Mail
BBC: It Was Guido Wot Won It | MediaGuido
Nick Robinson’s Britain First Selfie | Metro
Dyson: Leave German Dominated EU, Join EFTA |
How UKIP Won Rochester | Seb Payne
Labour’s Islington Problem | Harry Phibbs
Ed Lost More Than a By-Election | Labour Uncut
Labour the Biggest Losers in Rochester | Speccie
Thornberry a Gift to Farage | Nick Wood
Is Left Finally Turning Against EU? | Dan Hannan
Labour Votes Going Green | Guardian


Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Ralph Miliband on the English…

“The Englishman is a rabid nationalist. They are perhaps the most nationalist people in the world.”



Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.


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