July 19th, 2013

Blair and Mandy Lay It on Thick For Chuka

The hand of Blair is on Chuka’s shoulder in George Parker’s feature for tomorrow’s FT Weekend magazine. “A close ally of the former Prime Minister” gives him a glowing reference, with Mandy also piling on the praise. Still no escaping that awkward Wikipedia-editing business though:

“So inevitable, indeed, that a Wikipedia entry apparently originating from the wannabe MP’s campaign team – but not written by him, he insists – helpfully drew attention to the “British Obama” way back in 2007, in case anyone might have missed them. When news of this Wiki-doctoring emerged this year, David Cameron taunted Umunna, the MP for Streatham, in the House of Commons: “Can we change our Wikipedia entry? Yes we can.” Umunna, 34, claims to hate the parallels – the construct of “lazy journalists”, he once said – and glowered at Cameron, disgust written across his face. He would not have seen it, but some of those laughing loudest were behind him on the Labour benches.”

Ouch. At least he is very, very sorry about calling Londoners trash:

“Of course it was a stupid thing to say. I wasn’t even a candidate at that point but I’m really sorry and regret what I said. I’ve never pretended to be a saint and to have never said stupid things in the past.”

Other gems include a young Chuka’s voice appearing on the theme tune to Mr Bean when he was a chorister at his local Cathedral and a special mention for a certain parody twitter account. And, for the avoidance of doubt, his name rhymes with cooker…


101 Comments

  1. 1
    jmf says:

    The love child of D fatbutt and T blair

    Like

    • 5
      Scottish Chav says:

      AAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!
      Mind Bleach please!

      Like

      • 46
        tn01 says:

        New Labour still rubbing diversity info the indigenes noses.

        Like

        • 55
          Tony Blair, Millionaire says:

          Hey guys, it’s moi, Tone!

          Far be it for me to conduct some unpaid lobbying or even move against Millie Tant but…..well…..

          Just don’t Chukka out the baby with the bathwater.

          Like

          • By the time Obama is thrown out of office as the most toxic Anti-American and fiscally irresponsible President in their history, Chuka will be distancing himself once again

            Like

          • He's the most despicable koont says:

            Hi Tone, can you tell me why you pop out of the woodwork cockroach style, so often? Is it to bathe in the derision in which you are held? Jeeze, pop them clogs soon.

            Like

          • Delores DelSyn says:

            He’s a creepy puffed-up narcissist. Has wrong ‘un written all over him.

            Still, not the worst of not-new-Labour.

            (But fucking close!)

            Like

          • Tony Blair, Millionaire says:

            I’m really disappointed by these responses….after all, I’m just a regular kinda guy, just trying to make ends meet….and do my bit for….world peace

            Like

          • 600,000 dead Iraqis says:

            Please go away Tony

            Like

  2. 2
    Chuka Umunna says:

    A4202 London – A4202 Park Lane in Mayfair blocked northbound between the A4 Hyde Park Corner junction and the A40 Cumberland Gate junction, because of a police incident.

    Like

    • 16
      broderick crawford says:

      the police have “incidents ” ?!!

      I thought they just had the power of collective synoptic recall … and then only when reading from their notebooks in court .

      Like

      • 37
        Living in 97.333% white Merseyside says:

        Isn’t that where all the Roma are camping out?

        Poor Londistan!

        Like

  3. 3
    jmf says:

    The Marie Miller of the labour party

    Like

  4. 4
    Psychologist says:

    You are obsessed with him because you perceive him to be a threat.

    Like

  5. 7
    Pontiuos Pilot says:

    so there I was trying to recover from a nasty time with with sciatica , resting in the garden, enjoying the sun and the warm when suddenly, out of the skies come several low flying jets who continue in the sky above me for two more hours – one about 100 ft above the house roof – are we being invaded or what? who gives these bastards the ability to do this? oh I know the unaccountable DoH – bastards

    Like

    • 27
      Salmondnet says:

      Do you live in Lincolnshire? If so it is probably just your personal fly past from the Red Arrows. They are working their way round everyone in the country, but people keep breeding so it’s a long job. Try not to be so ungracious.

      Like

    • 51
      nellnewman says:

      It’s against the law for any of them to fly lower than 500ft.

      You should complain !

      Like

  6. 8
    Chuka Mike Hammer says:

    Streatham: I’ll never go there anymore… well, that’s what it says in the song and that’s what I tell myself every time I wander along its trashy sidewalks, but I always go there some more. Savile Row – to the man who writes the encyclopedia, it’s an avenue in London extending from Vigo Street to the junction of Maddox and Conduit at Hanover Square. When I go there, I don’t see anything but a land of pawnshops and flophouses, peopled by trash and missionaries and God bless the latter.

    Like

  7. 10
    The Lizzud Returns says:

    How do you make “Umuna” rhyme with “cooker”?

    Like

    • 14
      Paniagua v5 says:

      Fucker Umunna?

      Like

    • 23
      broderick crawford says:

      are we talking ladies of the night here as in hooker ?

      Like

    • 28
      pot black says:

      Looker U-munter?
      At least I know it rhymes with munt.

      Like

    • 44
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      “Chuka” (as in “chooka,” I suppose you mean?) only rhymes with “cooker,” in non-rhotic dialects.
      West Country? They don’t count. They talk funny. They pronounce their trailing “R’s” the way most Yanks do. And apparently the way the Guido’s don’t.
      Would you call what most English do “Arrhotica”?

      Like

  8. 12
    Scamp The Excitable Dog says:

    It’s like watching a 13 year old X-Factor wannabe getting groomed on Facebook by a pair of lecherous frantically masturbating Savile’s.

    I know Chuck will be checking this thread out, so let me just tell him.
    You got caught doing something that will never allow you to become leader of your party with an ounce of integrity, let alone become our first Black PM.
    Hope you think those few little words were worth it you beyond arrogant banker.

    Like

    • 15
      Psychologist says:

      The unwarranted vehemence of your words can be interpreted as a defence mechanism. It is indicative of your deep-seated fear and insecurity.

      Like

      • 17
        Another Psychologist says:

        Finish him.

        That will be £1500 + VAT

        Like

      • 19
        Owen Jones says:

        its that what the dreams about huge black willies is about? … or is that something else?

        Like

      • 32
        Harry S. Barackonsonson Esq says:

        It’s all just about “words” here really isn’t it?
        I’m not sure anyone even really cares about words anymore?
        I personally think Chukka would make s splendid President, sorry, did I say President? I meant Prime Minister.
        He’s certainly a smart and well dressed fellow and by all accounts, as big a hit with the ladies as he is with the more reptilian members of his won party.

        Like

    • 97
      Wtf am I says:

      We had a disasterous Brown pm.

      Like

  9. 22
    Lord Stansted says:

    Don’t know about now, but their Saturday magazine was rubbish when I used to subscribed to the FT – one of the reasons I ditched the paper.

    Like

  10. 24
    ruth-less says:

    If only he was Jooish or Caffolick. Then he would be a four aces contender.
    Dumb, Beige, Socialist and having a religious pedigree that compliments the other 3 failings completely.

    Like

  11. 26
    Ron Barras says:

    He’s so slippery and dishonest.

    He’ll go far in politics.

    Like

  12. 30
    jesus is real says:

    is it just me reckons that he ( like Obama) is a CIA creation ?

    Like

  13. 31
    meow says:

    just try asking someone in burnley how they pronounce “cooker”.

    Like

  14. 35
    Chukka cant says:

    That photo earlier with him looking at steel ….. He justs looks vacant, playing a role but no clue whatsoever

    Like

  15. 36
    Labour can fuck off & get their own ideas says:

    People have had enough of Labour’s style over substance politics. It is akin to wrapping shite up in a bow. Time for Pro EU Tony & Mandelscum to stop lobbying Labour to line their own pockets. B.liarism kills! Time for Labour to purge themselves of the evil, self-serving B.liarites. Once & for all!

    Like

  16. 38
    bergen says:

    For such a short career, he’s already accumulated enough baggage to keep critics busy. The last thing he needs now is Tone and Mandy praising him. He’s going nowhere.

    Like

    • 71
      Ippikin says:

      He never was!
      We, the plebs are just a little too perceptive these days to fall for his pretentious ego-smothered bullshit.

      Like

  17. 41
    ITS BLEAK IN SUNDERLAND WITH 3 LABOUR MPS AND NO FOOD BANKS says:

    Chukks was in Sunderland last night as the guest speaker of the Sunderland CLP dinner so he is clearly putting himself about no doubt glad handing for the future,giving his distaste for the Chav he will have his work cut as this is Chavland personfied and as far as Wikipedia is concerned these numpties probably think its an STD.

    Like

    • 50
      Living in 97.333% white Merseyside says:

      I doubt he was impressed with the shops in Fawcett Street.

      “What were these vacant buildings?” – “They used to be famous department stores”.

      Like

  18. 42
    meanwhile says:

    A former BBC news editor has been handed a community service order after admitting downloading and distributing indecent images of children.

    Another one, seems like its expected of them.

    Like

  19. 45
    only arsk'd says:

    is this labourlist?

    Like

  20. 47
    jesus is real says:

    I just say these things so that I can help somebody, save you some time, time I spent, you can have it it is free it is gratis.
    So I read the book Zen in the art of motorcycle maintainence and the guy is saying
    ” the teacher said look I do not expend any energy.”
    “feel my biceps”
    And I felt his biceps and it was true there was no tension in his muscles
    ” How can this be? the teacher is so advanced that without exerting any energy he is able to draw the 100lb bow effortlessly”
    It is because he is using his back muscles you fuckwit.

    Like

    • 54
      jesus is real says:

      of course when the idiot metal clad troops sunk the Mary Rose, ” Oh look there is the king” “Dohh” then there were proper Englishmen with the innate ability to be archers

      Like

  21. 48
    Chucky (Obama) Ummuna says:

    More from the Chucky Newsroom (’cause I’ve still got fuck-all to do);

    * There’s going to be a tea party on Clapham Common tomorrow. I’ll be there for my photo-op, with doggie (and Ron Davies)
    * There’s still a little water problem on St. Reatham Hill
    * New Wiki page entry says Will Smith, on local school visit, looked trashy compared to handsome local MP Chukka Ummuna
    * I’m hot

    Like

    • 49
      HMRC says:

      Oops, you said Tea Party.

      Now we’re going to have to investigate you thoroughly, just like our US counterparts do when that phraseology has been used.

      Are there any tax evasion matters you would like to confess to before we even start, Mr Umunna? It’ll go easier for you in the long run if you come clean.

      Like

      • 87
        Hallo there says:

        Long time since I was in London. Do the chimps still have their daily tea party at the zoo?

        Like

  22. 52
    FairBobby says:

    I wasn’t a racist until I saw Ummuna, or whatever his name is. Now I’m committed.

    Like

    • 72
      Ippikin says:

      For years I thought the Queen classic ‘Fat bottomed girls’ was in fact ‘Black bottomed girls’ and always wondered who Freddie based the song on.
      Any ideas?

      Like

  23. 53

    What? Harrisonooker?

    Like

  24. 56
    Bazinga! says:

    Anyone else she NHS murderer Alan johnson complaining about the Zimmerman case on This week last night?

    As usual because a jury didn’t come up with the verdict the left like Johnson called is a travesty and couldn’t understand how he could be found not guilty.

    Of course not alan, in between killing thousands of people in the NHS and fucking up the economy you clearly have no idea of democracy do you?

    WE can all argue the rights and wrongs of Zimmerman challenging Martin, we can all argue the rights and wrongs f the stand your ground law, but the BOTTOM LINE was the jury had to make a decision based on the evidence put before them and I for one saw nothing that would have allowed anyone to consider a verdict of guilt beyond reasonable doubt, unless Johnson like all lefty mongs assumes any black person killed is always an innocent victim regardless?

    The link below basically outlines why a not guilty verdict was the only one. Alan Johnson is a fucking twat and should stick to killing people in the NHS, something he, Burnham and Labour are expert at.

    http://edition.cnn.com/2013/07/14/us/zimmerman-why-this-verdict

    Like

    • 62
      Gordon "Mandeba" Brown says:

      The knob contended that Zimmerman “attacked” Martin and killed him.

      That’s not what the evidence tended to show.

      Like

  25. 58
    nellnewman says:

    Hmmm why are bliar and mandy lobbying for chuckusyamoney?

    It couldn’t be because he’s terribly wealthy and will make it worth their while could it?

    This pair do absolutely nothing, do they? out of the goodness of their heart or for worthwhile charitable ends – mind I suppose they’d claim lining their own pockets is a worthwhile charitable end.

    Like

  26. 60
    Labour Tvrd. says:

    So Tony & Mandy understand that you can’t polish a tvrd but u can roll it glitter. This is what they are attempting to do here. I take it phoney Tony & Mandelson don’t give much hope to Ed Militant winning the next election!

    Like

  27. 61

    Well that is fine and dandy top Global lobbyist Tone and his old sidekick Mandy doing a spot of high powered lobbying for Chuka. Hope he can pay their bill. Nothing is for nothing.

    Like

  28. 64
    nellnewman says:

    Odd thing isn’t it about labour? They sold themselves as the party of the people – the only party who had compassion and would look after everyone.

    Then they got into power and decided to wage war on Iraq sending our soldiers to a war front without proper equipment and killing them in large numbers and killed thousands of Iraqi’s.

    They then killed off industry by introducing welfare benefits so generous people didn’t want to work

    And then to make sure their destruction was complete they reduced the NHS to a killing machine with less compassion for the sick and elderly than is found in a russian gulag!

    Like

  29. 68
    Chooka Oopa says:

    Is it cos I is black?

    Like

  30. 75
    Ippikin says:

    That boated of from West Brummich had fallen strangely quiet. Anyone know what he is up to?

    Like

  31. 77
    The Belmarsh Tooth Fairy says:

    Its quite hard speaking with my front teeth staved in and a black dick wedged into the space.

    Like

    • 83
      Tory Boy says:

      Please post the assailant’s name and inmate number, I must mail him some cigarettes and sweets.

      Like

  32. 78

    How much do we pay him

    Like

  33. 79
    Penfold says:

    He’s totally screwed with B-Liar and Mandy giving him plaudits.

    Like

  34. 80
    Nu NuLiebor Vomit Inducing Faces says:

    But as soon as I see that face I want to Chuk up not Chook up.

    Like

  35. 81
    Tory Boy says:

    saw Chucker in Boujis last year sitting next another man in vip lounge with hands on each other’s thighs all smiles. No wonder Mandy and Tone like him, he carries the torch for the gay cabal at the heart of new Labour. There is also a rumour he got done for importuning at a certain London station public convenience so another thing he has in common with Bliar. Obviously I’m not a lefty but this lad just comes across as smug and mouthy, not particularly intellectual. Worst of all he is shamelessly on the make and very pleased with himself – reminds me a bit of actor Ben Stiller – the ego eclipses the talent.

    Like

  36. 84
    Swiss Tony says:

    Its rather like making love to a beautiful man…

    Like

  37. 89
    Magic 8 Ball says:

    The Tories FEAR Andy Burnham and Chuka Umunna.

    Fact.

    Why continue to prove it with your feeble smears?

    Like

  38. 92
    Chris Bryant says:

    I fear a Blair/Mandleson spit roast coming on for Ummuna. Bight that pillow bitch!

    Like

  39. 93
    vetusta ecclesia says:

    Chuka’s socialist credentials are not all they seem – his grandfather was a celebrated judge, Sir Helenus Milmo.

    Like


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Polling Averages Trend | PoliticalBetting.com


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Knifed former civil service chief Bob Kerslake on his recent troubles:

“Many thks for kind wishes following back opn. Incision measured 16cm. A pretty big knife in the back! Photos on request.”



Rob Wilson says:

Without Predujice

Darling

What time will dinner be ready this evening?

Yours

Rob Wilson MP

In the interests of me I am placing a copy of this email in the public domain.


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