July 17th, 2013

WATCH: Brillo Ridicules Chukapedia


  1. 1
    Andy Burnham says:

    Maybe it’s mass murder. Maybe it’s Maybelline.


    • 75
      Django Insight says:

      Thing about Chuka is that the ambition, guile and smarmy-gitness just ooooozes out of him for all to see


      • 128
        a non says:

        Making a Silk purse from a sow’s ear springs to mind.
        Chuka will always remain a pseudo.
        He doesn’t realise that despite the good suits and bling you cannot buy class.


        • 173
          Ippikin says:

          Thought his suit was a bit ‘off the peg’. Certainly the back of the neck collar cut was crap. In particular the jacket sort of hung in mid air. If not off-peg his tailor must have been sniffing the white stuff!


        • 292
          John Bellingham says:

          Or Brains. Surely the first rule of appearing on TV interviews is “Don’t talk like a complete canute every time you open you gob”


    • 171
      Ippikin says:

      Wasn’t she a bit of a go-er in the mind of one Mr. Berry?
      Can’t really think AB merits such an accolade, despite the pancake.


    • 223
      Charlatans says:

      See Chilcott update.


      Perhaps, notwithstanding the BBCs hindrance, the truth is finally coming out and the net is tightening on the most serious life and death legacies left by labour.

      Just depressing disasters everywhere one looks where Bliar and Co had the reigns on power.

      Whether it be NHS deaths this week or the plethora of other economic, education, home office skeletons leaping out of every cupboard one opens in every department of state they had their hands on.

      Please God let there be some justice somewhere.


      • 225
        Headmistress (still on holiday) says:

        Real charlatans know the difference between ‘reigns’ and ‘reins’.


        • 246
          dysleksick says:

          Actually both could fit .
          Reign – to rule. Times in power.
          Reins – the straps / tack of a rider, leader etc.
          Might even suggest rains- since Bliar and Co were a load of wets / p*ss-artists

          Maybe Charlatans is just looking for early morning pedants to tease.


    • 250

      That was phracking hilarious….nearly nuked myself laughing.


  2. 2
    The Barry O'Bummer of the Labour Party. says:

    Nice suit!


    • 3
      Ed Balls says:

      Who’s his barber?


      • 7
        Ed Miliband says:

        Is it the same barber you recommended to me this morning Twelvety? Thanks for pointing him out, I’m just off to give him a try. Sweeney Todd, you say his name was…?


      • 76
        Django Syrup of Fig... says:

        Mr Alopecia of Mayfair!


      • 94
        Mr Sweeney Todd, Fleet St, London says:

        “Who’s his barber?”

        A Mr Wilkinson Sword, of High Wycombe, I do believe.
        It IS Chuka Umunna you’re referring to?
        Mr Neil requires the services of a perruquier.

        Who’s yours, Balls? Your wife?


    • 43
      It's a thought says:

      Indeed, his suit is rather better and far more expensive than the trash in his constituency could ever afford.

      Of course Chuka sells himself as a man of the ‘little guys’ and someone who ‘really cares’ about the trash who vote for him.


  3. 3
    Labour says:

    Want a free and legal alternative to euthanasia? Don’t want the hassle of going to a clinic in Switzerland? Then vote Labour and we’ll ensure your death at one of the many NHS trusts ranked the best for killing patients. No more endless visits to court to get a judge to allow your spouse to end your life. No more browsing online for cheap clinics abroad. As long as you don’t mind a slow, humiliating and degrading death at the hands of cruel, sociopathic nurses who are more preoccupied with updating their Facebook status and deciding where they’re going to get bladdered that night, you will be guaranteed complete life termination.

    Vote Labour. We kill, so you don’t have to.


    • 20
      New Labour: You're safe in our hands! says:

      Don’t forget to try our new and improved NHS termination service, it’s the one to die for!


      • 48
        David Cameron - Bought and Paid for by the Fag Companies says:

        The NHS has covered up and protected individuals within the organisation who were not performing and who were not the caring and dedicated type of person required by the organisation.

        It is a fair assumption that these sub standard individuals were allowed to continue working for the NHS for a combination of reasons such as the legal implications of sacking them as well as the ineffective and incompetent managers who didn’t want the hassle of doing their job properly and sacking people who were not fit to be working in a health and care environment. Another factor is of course a fear within the NHS that if they did admit failings it would be used against the organisation. And yet another is the still to be admitted fact that the NHS has been used by government as a form of social engineering to increase the number of particular groups in society. The most important aspect of recruitment should of course be the quality of the candidate, not the fulfilment of quota requirements.

        All of these factors must be addressed head on if the NHS is to secure its future.

        Oh, and if you want to kill people just vote Tory – they are after all the cancer party. It if gives you cancer the Tories will promote it and sell it. Lung cancer caused by cigarettes or stomach cancer caused by eating GM food, the Tories will do the bidding of the lobbyists, no problem.

        As long as you make a large enough donation and you have someone on the inside of the party lobbying for your cancer stick and GM food mates.

        Which of course brings us back to the Conservative attacks on the Labour Party and the NHS. The Conservatives have displayed a lack of leaderships and responsibility by trying to blame a previous administration for faults occurring on the Tory party’s watch. And the second point worth noting about this disgraceful abdication by the government of its responsibility is the reason behind it: they don’t care about people dying unnecessarily whilst in the care of the NHS, they are only using those deaths to score cheap political points in order to advance the case for a fully privatised health system in the UK.

        Just when you think the Conservatives can’t sink any lower they manage to another six feet.

        Vote Tory – Vote Scum


        • 57
          pyongyangpingpong says:

          You are boring……


          • David Cameron - Bought and Paid for by Benson and Hedges et al says:

            Said the bore…..


          • pyongyangpingpong says:

            ‘Wrote’…..you fucking idiot….!


          • Ippikin says:

            Hear Hear. Why not try posting on the beeb?


          • David Cameron, making decisions based on evidence and not party politics, but here we go anyway says:

            It woz all Fatchers fvckin’ fault!! I want my Mummy! RetardEd just got butt fvcked by that nasty Etonian boy, and treated like a ginger fag!! WAH!


        • 82
          Labour is a criminal party says:

          Funny how Labour never brought in plain packaging. But did make sure reports of deaths in hospitals were covered up. Incidentally, do Labour HQ pay you to troll here?


        • 103
          Fire up the Quattro says:



        • 123
          Anonymous says:

          How did you do that? First claim it is the managers and then jump straight for a single party.

          If these people are unfit to work in the NHS how did they get there? How long does it take to employ that many people across so many hospitals. How long does it take to lower the standards so that everyone turns a blind eye to the “new ways”. How long did it take for the that many people to die?

          Then add to that the time it takes for this to be uncovered properly, and the disbelief to fade. Perception of malpractice must gain inertia before it can be truly seen by the believing public.

          Is the sum longer than 3 years?


        • 141
          Ber-knee Ekklestone and Toe-knee Blayre says:

          Fuck you lefty retard, Ber-Knee and Toe-Knee and the labour party sell more fucking cigs than you’ve drawn breaths.


  4. 5
    The whole of the BBC on crimewatch. says:

    I can’t stand those two tits on the Daily Politics. The pensioner & his tranny!


  5. 6
    Bazinga! says:

    Interesting that Cameron suggested te BBC not fall for Labour spin on Tory lobbying. Of course it’s the BBC making such a big story of it.

    The Tories really are dim, especialy as Cameron forgot to mention Bernie Ecclestone and his million pound bung to Nu Labia.


    • 16
      M102 says:

      …and Ecclestones bung to his banker.


    • 144
      One-term wet dave says:

      You are so right. Cameron is so fucking wet. The tories should be able to rip labour apart.


      • 174
        Ippikin says:

        That’s the problem with the vast majority of them – they simply miss the opportunities.
        I wonder if DC had gone in without notes, he may have come up with Ecclestone. Bloody obvious to us spectators, but if he has a script, he would miss the point.
        Now on the other hand Michael Gove would have crucified the pompous oaf.


        • 283
          Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

          Doomed in Salford, the Tories since 1901. Damned if they do or don’t on fags. If they did then it’d be How far have we become a Nanny State? asked from Brum to Aberdeen by mask-wearing at home reporters, who live on celery. Despise the bias of BBC news but you’ve to to say the tories need more then Pickles and Hague in “non-media” roles to reach out to the north… Hope Tories aren’t listening but then they never do do they?


  6. 8
    The whole of the Labour Party says:

    We can make a killing in the nhs!


    • 56
      Danny Boyle says:

      I’ve been asked to arrange the opening ceremony for next year’s Commonwealth games but can’t think how to get 13,000 stiffs in hospital beds into the arena.
      Please send suggestions c/o Andy Burnham at Labour HQ.


  7. 9

    Chuka has a nice shine on his head. Is this from a daily polish?


  8. 10
    UKIP or bust says:

    Forced laughter from false Chucka


  9. 11
    Chukus yer pants says:

    We can make a killing in the nhs and get away with it! Yes We Can! mowahaahahahaha!


  10. 12
    Brainwashing,Bullying Crooks -BBC says:

    The BBC should be closed down.


    • 22
      It's a thought says:

      Just sell it off and give the proceeds back to the licence payers.


    • 55
      Bazinga! says:

      Sell it to Jeremy Clarkson for a pound, he’d make it profitable. Get the Stig to read the news for starters.


  11. 13
    Sue Brown & The BBC says:

    Repeated tripe from the BBC!


  12. 14
    Police Investigation. says:

    These leeching scrotes that is the BBC should be in prison. They are scum!


  13. 15
  14. 18
    pyongyangpingpong says:

    Chuka looks like he’s trying to chew his shoulder….he should be at the back of a ‘sunshine bus’, not in the HOC.


  15. 19

    To borrow from Sue Cameron: I mean, honestly! What a tosser!


  16. 21
    I don't want to share the same air as the Labour voting Edinburgh dogshite! says:

    Why doesn’t the BBC focus Labour’s killings in the nhs?


    • 24
      pyongyangpingpong says:

      Because they’re using all their resources trying to work out how not to mention unemployment is down….


  17. 23
    Andy Burnham the Harold Shipman of Politics says:

    Chuka – another shameless social climber and kling-on. How long till the stories about sexual impropriety with younger boys at school break cover?


    • 40

      He will, of course, claim to be the victim.


      • 68
        Victims 'R' Us says:

        I will happily provide him with cause to make such claims


      • 180
        Anonymous says:

        I was having a bad night already after another failure by a solicitor. Do they actually sit in front of mirrors and train themselves to be dishonest. This one was 3 feet away and lied directly to me. It only took 30 minutes to discover the deception. Now the legal team is saying he did not mean it, and it does not matter. He extorted money from me in the 3 minutes after the dishonesty.

        So I assume from your comment I should not hold my breath for any change.

        Then of course maybe it would be for the better if I did.


        • 229
          The Food and Drink Forum says:

          Set out your case and the details here so we all know what you are on about then. Name and shame is what this forum is all about (unless you come from Telly Aviva of course).


      • 228
        Burgers are bad for you says:

        John Thomas? Sounds very appropriately named!


      • 258
        bergen says:

        Of course the job was earmarked for Leveson until he lost the plot on his enquiry .


  18. 25
    Suits You Sir says:

    The level of “trickyness” of a politician will always be reflected by the the level of “shinyness” of his suit.

    They don’t come any shinier than Chuk up


  19. 26
    Brown out & pay me damages. says:

    The BBC can jog on! They are leeching criminal SCUM!


  20. 27
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Aha, Chuka exposed live on BBC for his Wiki-fraud!

    If he edits documents to suit his agenda, imagine what he’d do with power and taxpayers money if he was let near government? Scary!


  21. 28

    How long before the Bigot of Stellar Magnitude (BSM) turns up?


  22. 29
    ex pat says:

    Video not available in my country.
    Is it another one of those ‘adopt a gorilla’ adverts?


  23. 30
    Suits You Sir says:

    Just wondering, is the bald shiny headed thug look cultivated for a bit of street cred with his Bros


  24. 31
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Andy Burnham is completely and utterly stupid. How else would you explain his actions?


  25. 33
    Benson Hedges says:

    No wonder people in this country are fed up to their back teeth with these tawdry politicians who are forever trying to score points, rather than getting this country back on it’s feet.
    The Tories should get rid of Cameron now!


  26. 37
    Bollocks Broadcasting Corporation says:

    Note to all news editors:

    it is essential we draw attention away from the slow motion car crash happening in the Labour party. Every news bulletin must carry an extended item on cigarette packaging and insinuation must be made about Lynton Crosby’s role. I don’t care how boring it is listening to Prick Knobinson asking the same questions again and again.


    • 54
      Bazinga! says:

      The BBC soon buried Labour’s problems with the union, just as I predicated last week. Expect the full might of the BBC to hammer away at Crosby now, especially Toenails, Marr and old mong Smith.


  27. 42
    Hon. Cory Booker, Mayor, Newark NJ USA says:

    No, Mr Neil– actually, I’M America’s Chuka; I’m Mayor of possibly the most corrupt city in New Jersey, if not the US as a whole (and you’re going some to be “Most Corrupt” in NJ!) with a large poor minority population I have to placate while I’m busy hobnobbing with the rich, kissing reluctant corporate ass to try to get them to move into Newark (home of The Sopranos). I’m such a photogenic phony, they’ve got me running in a by-election (as you would call it) to fill a vacant Senate seat. I’m the next official high-yellow-Negro flavor-of-the-month post-racial-era politician for the US mainstream media, after Bro Barack finishes in January 2017:


    • 276
      JH3434435435 says:

      Watch ‘Street fight’ and see if you feel the same way.

      Compared to the Kwame Kilpatrick-type he replaced, Booker is a saint. Not saying he has not been corrupted by $$$ since though.


  28. 45
    My government says Chuka says:

    The arrogance of This MP Who held no ministerial office under Blair or Brown stating in answer to Andrew Neil about policy in last administration the words”in my government”.
    One hopes in reality he will never be able to say that but with everyone else at The Beeb pushing their sex idol Chuka and distorting what success Cameron and co are having, goodness only knows that their biased reporting will persuade the ignorant masses to vote for a party with their other sex idol Owen being the probable next Chancellor with Chuka as PM when he shows his true colours and stabs Ed.in the back.


  29. 46
    Diane Fatbot says:

    He may be the right colour but I’m far too beautiful for him.


    • 79
      Loch Ness Monster says:

      Of course you are.


    • 81
      Anonymous says:

      Don’t think your beefy enough for Chuckie.


      • 120
        I Hate Tesco AND The Pope says:

        For fuck’s sake, Anonymous, go back to primary school. It’s “you’re”, as in a compression of “you are.” The letter ‘a’ is left out and is replaced by the apostrophe. “Your” is possessive. Try to work out what that means for yourself. The clue is in the word. In future, please stick to posting on the Mirror site. You’ll find plenty of other grammatically challenged folk there.


  30. 47
    Obamalamadingdong says:

    Doesn’t tell her indoors, but I’m not sure a black planet is such a good idea!


  31. 49
    Fishy says:

    On C4 Lefty News, Gordoom is on at the moment supporting the Malala girl.

    Has anyone warned Malala that it’s odds on that Jonah is more dangerous to be with than the Taliban.


  32. 51
    Bazinga! says:

    Oh god the one eyed idiot from Fife is on Channel 4 news with John Snow sucking Brown’s penis live on TV.

    Snow even makes out Brown had nothing to do with the war in Afghanistan. Oh now Brown is losing it because Snow asked a question about lobbying.

    Once again the queen from Fife gets away from the British media without asking him about his role in the destruction of England.

    Fucking spineless media.


  33. 52
    Brown out & pay me damages. I will have my police investigation! says:

    BBC as usual spinning the money.


    • 61
      Anonymous says:

      They have just had the BMA on the news whingeing about Dave scrapping the minimum unit price for alcohol, dont they realise that if people are dependant on alcohol they will pay anything to get it !


      • 73
        A Neckonomist says:

        What the Bathroom Manufacturers Association has against the laws of supply and demand is not altogether clear to me


      • 97
        Hamish Macbeth says:

        Don’t the BMA realise that minimum price cannot be brought in as it is illegal …

        It is illegal under EU anti-cartel law ….

        You can’t ask for a more similar precedence than this ….


        I’m glad Cameron hasn’t wasted taxpayers on lawyers to fight the EU in this battle which they would never have won


        • 233
          Matilda says:

          Cameron made exactly that point yesterday in a number of interviews – but the Press reptiles seem to be in total (willful?) ignorance of what he was talking about.


  34. 60
    Sir William Waad says:

    People say ‘compare’ when they mean ‘liken’. Of course you can compare Chuckie and Obama. You could say, for instance, that Obama has more hair then Chuckie. You couldn’t, however, liken Chuckie to Obama unless you were Chuckie’s mama.


    • 64

      They might, in certain circumstances and in privacy, compare the lengths of their noses…


    • 105
      Dweeb says:

      The internet is bloated with people using obscure words to sound impressive.

      My favourite is “conflate” when they mean confuse, eg “You are conflating Chukkus Urmunni with Diane Fatbott”.


      • 111

        I am sorry, but I am a lover of the word conflate. I consider you to be a worthwhile contributor, so hence my apology.

        It is much more than to confuse. It is to mix up or combine two ideas into one. It is normally caused by confusion but includes the impression of fusion in a much more interesting way.

        A very useful concept to explain in one word.


  35. 63
    BBC Leftwit says:

    God speed you, black emperor!


  36. 69
    nellnewman says:

    poor militwit he’s just taking a kicking from every angle at the moment.


  37. 78
    Diane Fatbot says:

    Wacists like this need locking up and the key thrown away, there is no room for scum like this in our enriched progressive multicultural land.



    • 235
      Matilda says:

      Dead right for once Di. They should all be deported back to Ireland where they (probably) came from.


  38. 80
    Mr Carter says:

    The BBC is a fucking disgrace!


    • 91
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      Time for the BBC to be put on the Liverpool Pathway.


  39. 85
    Norris Cõle says:

    The tories attack nurses, doctors, midwives, teachers, the disabled, the working poor, the unemployed, the terminally ill, immigrants, teenage mothers, LGBT, Students, Women, Police, Forces personnel.

    They stick up for Bankers and Billionaires cutting their taxes and increasing their wealth.

    Who caused the crisis?
    Who benefited from the crisis?
    Who is sufferring?


    • 87
      Offa`s Dyke says:

      1. bliar & brown
      2. ditto
      3. not bliar and brown


    • 101
      Mungo says:

      Who caused the crisis? Gordon Brown + New Labour
      Who benefited from the crisis? People on Benefits
      Who is sufferring? Workers


  40. 86
    Andy Burnham says:

    I’ve got a licence to kill
    And you know I’m going straight for your heart


  41. 88
    Offa`s Dyke says:

    So the Office for Budgets OBR has decreed today there needs to be much more immigration. I thought the heat wave presumably causing the mad Sun to go behind a paywall was unbelievable enough.

    No and no.


  42. 89
    Virgil says:

    “Muslim footballer on £40,000-a-week set to quit Newcastle United after refusing to wear shirt sponsored by payday loan firm Wonga”………….Daily Wail.

    But assorted mutilation, mass murder and female interference is OK presumably.


    • 104
      Julia Gillard says:


      I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians. ‘

      ‘This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom’

      ‘We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!’

      ‘Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home because God is part of our culture.’

      ‘We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why, all we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.’

      ‘This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, ‘THE RIGHT TO LEAVE’.’

      ‘If you aren’t happy here then LEAVE. We didn’t force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.’”


  43. 90
    Andy Burnham does AC/DC says:

    Shoot to thrill
    Play to kill
    Too many patients
    With too many pills


    • 112
      Huntwatch says:

      Jeremy “Hunt” An odious liar who resembles the contents of the inside of a bedpan. This Coalition is intent on ruining this country. But where are the editorials condemning these criminal policies? A great confidence trick has been perpetrated on the electorate. This was not in their manifesto in 2010 yet they are being allowed to continue, when they should be held to account via a General Election.


      • 133
        Labour is a criminal party says:

        Dear oh dear. The Labour trolls are panicking now that their dirty secrets and cover-ups have been exposed. They’re running scared now that everyone knows 13,000 people died on their watch.


      • 134
        Dweeb says:

        Talking of confidence tricks not in the manifesto, how about the small matter of Labour forcing London (and several other cities) to become a foreign country?


      • 160
        Ali babas dodgy dossier says:

        presume you must be about 19 now and missed all the fun of the labour years


  44. 93
    BIG BAD DAVE the primary school BULLY says:

    I can’t wait to get my boyfriends Ring on my finger


  45. 96
    Tachybaptus says:

    If you are watching The Apprentice you may be admiring Luisa Zissman’s chest.


  46. 107
    Gok Wan says:

    I’m totally loving Andy Burnham’s new eyeliner it’s just fabulous darling, it really does brings out his inner Dr Shipton.


  47. 124
    Wot a Tiat says:

    My aspergers has come back
    Please call the number tattooed on my knob.
    Ask for doctor Tittle TaTtle


  48. 125
    Paige Page Boy says:

    Why was Gordon on channel 4 news not answering any questions?
    What was the point of asking a has-been questions that were too difficult for him?


  49. 127
    Dead Tree Press says:

    Name of title: average circulation, year-on-year change, month-on-month change

    Daily Mirror: 1,038,753, down 3.94 %, down 0.24 %
    Daily Record: 252,626, down 9.56 %, down 1.02 %
    Daily Star: 540,849, down 10.2 %, up 1.13 %
    The Sun: 2,243,903, down 13.15 %, down 1.12 %
    Daily Express: 522,264, down 13.31 %, down 0.57 %
    Daily Mail: 1,806,569, down 6.86 %, up 1.06 %
    The Daily Telegraph: 547,106, down 4.63 %, up 0.28 %
    Financial Times: 258,488, down 13.03 %, up 0.71 %
    The Guardian: 187,000, down 11.59 %, down 2.79 %
    i: 303,009, up 11.16 %, down 1.16 %
    The Independent: 73,060, down 18.82 %, down 2.7 %
    The Times: 390,941, down 2.29 %, down 1.02 %

    Name of title: average circulation, year-on-year change, month-on-month change

    Daily Star Sunday: 335,864, down 29.05 %, up 1.88 %
    The Sun (Sunday):1,875,220, down 14.37 %, up 0.39 %
    Sunday Mail: 284,051, down 9.45 %, down 1.62 %
    Sunday Mirror:1,036,542, down 4.68 %, up 0.81 %
    Sunday People: 415,075, down 7.78 %, down 0.11 %
    Sunday Express:455,901, down 11.10 %, down 1.49 %
    Sunday Post: 244,257, down 12.49 %, up 5.10 %
    The Mail on Sunday: 1,638,049, down 10.21 %, down 2.5 %
    Independent on Sunday: 111,986 down 8.65 %, down 0.97 %
    The Observer: 212,376, down 12.94 %, down 4.65 %
    The Sunday Telegraph: 422,590, down 6.15 %, up 0.44 %
    The Sunday Times: 840,201, down 8.27 %, down 0.31 %


    • 138
      Dweeb says:

      Oh dear. Back in the 1980s when I worked for the local paper, it had a bigger circulation than the Grauniad. Repeat, local paper!


      • 165
        Living in 97.333% white Merseyside says:

        I wonder what the Current Bun’s circulation would be if we starting reading it again up our way?


        • 183
          Dweeb says:

          It would make little difference because Scousers cannot read anything other than a benefits claim form. Although a few might buy it for the pictures.


  50. 129
    WOW says:

    People who are not registered to vote should not expect to get state pensions and other benefits, says a Labour MP.

    Siobhain McDonagh wants to bring in a bill that would make access to public services dependent on being on the electoral roll.


    • 154
      The BBC says:

      Ssssh don’t mention the poll tax – we like to pretend that it was really a tory policy.


    • 197
      Anonymous says:

      Then certain people would have to use the “anonymous” system. I have proof it does not work. It is just not safe to use.


  51. 135
    Saffron says:

    Todays PMQ’s where an absolute disaster for red ed and his union backers.
    Cam in my opinion wiped the floor with this lot and what their policies are all about.
    Frankly anybody who even thinks about voting liebour next time round needs to see somebody medical as to what is wrong with their brain.
    This lieboure bunch of crap are not interested in ordinary people, only in themselves.


    • 140
      Andy Burnham says:

      If you do think you need to seek medical help, I’d strongly advise going private.

      On account of all the deaths and that.


    • 147

      …. anybody who even thinks about voting liebour next time round needs to see somebody medical…

      Unfortunately the ideal candidate, Mid Staffordshire NHS Foundation Trust, has been wound up.


      • 201
        Anonymous says:

        I do not agree. Many will vote Labour as it will be the sensible option. Why not vote for a possibility of a labour based Labour party.

        There will be a leader in waiting that they can identify with, and will cling to the chance that they get a chance. Labour is all about the chance of a little person getting power. It is a dream. Just like the millions that buy lottery tickets.

        The other parties will just give one option as a united party with one PM and no one will see a future under them. Why should there be, they have no track record of providing the voter with a future.

        The only mental issue is with the parties. The people just choose the best option they can see with unfounded optimism.


      • 207

        Fuck me!

        He’ll want to marry me next…


  52. 136
    Chuckup says:

    Hey, give me a break guys, it’s not easy being a socialist and a stuck-up immigrant snob at the same time.


  53. 139
    John Humphries says:

    Can someone please email us before 7am to say how the lack of minimum priced alcohol has caused them to become drunk and feckless..And if you could add that the unavailability of plain packet cigarette packs has given you cancer since this morning .. we’d be very grateful and have our ambush story all ready to go.

    PS – its ok to make the story up. We never check any of them out.


    • 159
      Labour wommon who cares more than you do says:

      I caught a whiff of someone’s cigarette as a child while being forced to open a bottle of wine. I am still suffering nightmares, liver disease and cancer. Everything should be banned. Everything.

      Think of the children. Our poor, vulnerable, precious children.


    • 194
      Nogbad the Bad says:

      Minimum pricing of alchohol has the same principle as speed bumps. Why punish everyone, when not everyone is the problem. If you want to cut alcohol consumption by the drunk and feckless, stop paying benefits in cash.


  54. 143
    Ahhhh! Monika says:

    When do we OAPs become eligible for hot weather payments?


    • 148

      I’m too young! :-)


      • 152
        Ah! Monika says:

        You’re obviously not the real SC.


        • 157

          Blimey! I have to prove who I am now!

          I did not say by how tiny a margin I am too young!

          Mr Stockport, or vicinity, who knew of a Richard Head in the real estate trade.

          I now know I am younger than you so will give BSM more grief with it. :-)


        • 168

          @AM (again)

          Way back, I made an observation that I was now in my seventh decade. True.

          Someone educated under our current grossly inadequate system mistook that for being that I was in my seventies. There comes a point where you think What is the point of trying to disabuse such a person of his mistake?

          You are, by your above admission older than I. Not a lot. But that makes you an old fart whilst, pro tem I remain a young fart!


          • Ah! Monika says:

            I wiil only believe you are the Lord if I see the nail marks in your hands and feet.

            Or ……

            italics, bold and underlined plus two different smileys in one sentence.


          • I am surely not going to repeat the mistakes of St Thomas. Nor those of St Pаul (how did he manage to get that name through?), who bastardised the message for proselytisation reasons.

            I do not wish to convert anyone. But I have to exercise care here over that claim or a certain someone will come along and mistake me for a Joo…

            Underlined is turned off by our host but, like Unite, I can do -strike-!

            Blessed are those…


        • 192
          Ah! Monika says:

          You now have one follower.

          Does your / my religion have a name yet?

          Thus far I have been a non-practicing atheist.


        • 199
          Ah! Monika says:

          Glass empty, meds and bed.


    • 153
      Labour MPs says:

      After we’ve had our share of too-hot-to-work payments and heat-related trauma payments.


  55. 150
    Ah! Monika says:

    Extra Runways.

    What about multi-tiered runways. Simps


    • 162
      And says:

      If they had a 200 mile long train they wouldn’t need HS2 between Manchester and London. Very safe too and no delays.


      • 193
        Ippikin says:

        Why not just have a load of Chunnel wagons joined up.
        All the M1. M6 & M40 lorries could climb on in London and just drive up to Manchester.
        Empty roads again.


      • 239
        A certain Mr Porter says:

        Oh shyte, I wanted to go to Birmingham – but they’ve taken me on to Crewe.


    • 163
      Boris says:

      Why didn’t I think of that?


  56. 151
    jesus is real says:

    of course we shouldn’t forget that faced with a technologically advanced and socially aware society Islamics will decide to huddle in ghettos and go on and on and on and on about old shit that they read in a book.


  57. 155
    Kate says:

    Oh FFS pull then.


  58. 156
    albacore says:

    A talking goldfish in a suit
    And Brillo trying to be cute
    Smarm enough to shame the Old Lad
    Was ever politics this sad?


    • 241
      A handsome tuna says:

      Hallo mate!


      • 245

        I seem to recognise the hand of a certain SON of COD*.

        If my assumption is correct, I am sure that albacore will join me in confirming that each of us is not the other.

        I did once respond to him in verse which may have allowed a mistaken impression to arise.

        That apart, Good Morrow, Sir. I trust you are well.

        * If mistaken, please tune in to the shipping forecast and await the secret code for planetary elimination.


  59. 166
    flip top pack says:

    If plain packaging is such an effective disincentive, how come millions of kids and adults regularly buy illegal drugs, which apparently are normally supplied in plain polythene bags, bits of paper, clingfilm and the like?


    • 169
      Tachybaptus says:

      That ‘apparently’ doesn’t deceive us for a moment.


    • 178
      Highly paid footballer says:

      I always insist my dealer supplies them in a diamond-studded case embossed with artwork to match my tats.


    • 195
      Ippikin says:

      Coz the rozzers would come and get you if you put ‘Fat Stan’s Snakeoil’ on the bag!


    • 204
      Nogbad the Bad says:

      I had a mate who smoked John Player Specials because he liked the packets (they were gloss black with embossed gold coloured writing). He didn’t become a smoker because of the packaging, but it did influence his brand choice. He still smokes, but his tobacco from an unbranded tin made into rollies. Plain packaging would have made no difference.


  60. 170
    Ah! Monika says:

    Allegra looks as though she might drop her’s before Kate.


  61. 184
    BBC Lying twats Labours mates says:

    Well tonights offering from the BBC is nothing on the NHS but they do have this front and centre.

    Ed Miliband demands Lynton Crosby ‘conflict of interest’ inquiry

    Keep in mind that when a Tory is involved they keep it going and going and going for example the so called Plebgate they kept going for over 8 weeks on every news outlet they could.

    On this barely made 24 hours if that

    Yhe BBC needs to be shut down for ever


    • 200
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

      Time for the BBC to be put on the Liverpool Pathway.


      • 210
        Anonymous says:

        We can all gather around strange boxes with tubes and see, at last, the long lost “test card”. We can learn again the art of conversation re-start the idea of local social gatherings in public houses.

        But then again we can just carry on in our boxes isolated from the world, learning exactly what everyone else learns, until we become the clone army. Unable to speak about anything as we have all watched every program repeated 20 times and “know” the world according to TV.


  62. 186
    Labour Mong of Parliament says:

    We would ban low price alcohol, smoking outside of your own house and introduce plain packaging. Now excuse me while I take some cheap plonk in this taxpayer subsidised MPs’ Bar. Barman – my usual cigarettes please, the blue ones and pass me an ash tray while I have a smoke. And would ask that pleb over there to put his out – he is not an MP.


  63. 198
    jesus is real says:

    so is Dave’s missus a banker ?


  64. 206
  65. 211

    Good morning, all!


  66. 212

    Nelson Mandelson’s birthday.


    • 215
      Ed M / Labour + Spin doctors / BBC says:

      Happy Birthday Nelson M : Why didn’t you die for us ?

      (Q. Did Andy Burnham offer some of his specialist medical attention ?)


    • 217
      Ippikin says:

      Unlikely, but be nice to see him have many more.
      Pity his family have no sense of decorum.
      Anyone know why the original ‘snatching’ – surely they were not destined for Medical Science like Burke & Hare’s.


  67. 214
    Point of Information 2 says:

    It is better to die of cancer or some other complication due to smoking, an enjoyable habit, rather than die an Andy Burnham induced death.

    Andy Burnham’s existance is less enjoyable than smoking for many.


  68. 220
    Show Me The Money says:


  69. 221
    Until Tomorrow... says:


  70. 253
    Waitie Katie says:

    I want this bloody thing out of me now yah. And William you can keep the royal penis to yourself in future yah.


    • 257
      Kate says:

      It’s your fault William, the baby’s got your dad’s bloody ears that stick out and keep getting jammed.


  71. 254
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    I have know contacted the NHS offering my services by joining the new army of NHS Inspectors.

    I urge everyone here to do the same.


    • 260
      Commonsense not bureaucrats required says:

      Hospitals don’t need fucking NHS Inspectors and all the expensive meddling incompetent managers.

      They need proper traditional Matrons who can keep cocky consultants in their place, frighten junior doctors, and ensure nurses, cares and cleaners do their jobs correctly..


      • 277
        Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

        Doesn’t sound very union-compatible. UNISON, voice of unreason.


  72. 259
    Owen Jones says:

    I raise my glass to austerity.

    It’s working and long may it continue.

    And so say The Peoples Assembly


    • 261
      Mummy Jones says:

      Owen, you’re still pissed this morning. How much did you drink with those nasty big boys last night?


    • 274
      George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

      I’m delighted that you have finally seen sense,Owen.

      At long last you obviously know that it makes sense.

      Now try to persuade Len McCluskey to see sense.


  73. 263
    Caroline Lucas says:

    Only I am right all of the time.


  74. 264
    Dave the Disaster says:

    Another glorious day! What shall I spend today’s £300 million deficit on?

    That’s £5 extra debt for each of you lucky readers. Same again as yesterday. Same again tomorrow.


    • 275
      Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

      What about upping the BBC year-on-year like they asked. There should be no limit to the state subsidy. I am thinking 1000-year-reign.


  75. 265
    Don't Ask Me I Don't Fucking Know says:

    talking about ridicule – exactly what is esther mcvey?

    on sky this morning talking and talking and talking in feign display of care for the disabled of this nation

    just what is she exactly?


    • 271
      Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

      Good looking, single, milfy and the minister for disabled, thus more towards nurse than secretary what’s not to like?

      Also a Tory in the north so definitely an endangered species.


  76. 267
    Ah! Monika says:

    Chucka Obama has been shaking his head all night. Perhaps he should ener it in Wiki as ” the longest denial “.


  77. 268
    Lucretia Berger says:

    Chucker — you’ve gone all soft again — you’ll be needing fucking viagra next.


  78. 270
    Ah! Monika says:

    Schrödinger’s cat, truly Thatcher’s child. Only needs 4 hours sleep.


  79. 279
    jesus is real says:

    I have thought at times, is it possible that a person could be so intelligent, so practiced in understanding the mind of others that he was able to manipulate any situation, to say precisely the thing that the other was waiting to hear. A person who was capable of such feats would, I think, stay hidden, would not broadcast his strength.


  80. 293
    FairBobby says:

    I wasn’t a racist until I watched Ummuna or whatever he’s called. Now I’m committed.


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