July 11th, 2013

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. Will Dave give up his pay rise?

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    The Angry Public Outside Westminster says:

    Less of the ‘us’, Guido. Less of the ‘us’.

  2. 2
    Owen Jones,The Champagne Socialist says:

    Well, what % could be bothered to vote in Labour leadership election?

  3. 3
    Another week wasted arsing around with the leeching Edinburgh dogshite sponsored by the BBC says:


  4. 4
    On Union Business says:

    Have a crush on a guy but not sure if the feeling is mutual? Or maybe you’re curious as to whether that guy checking you out is doing so out of interest in you or he’s just staring at the Union poster behind your head? Whatever the reason for your need to know, there are a few fairly certain ways of working out that a guy’s definitely interested in you––or not!

    Advice 3) Listen to what he’s saying. If he likes you, and he’s nervous or anticipating the chance to get closer to you, he’ll probably start talking about Union Business. Many times, guys feel the need to prove themselves, especially if you talk about another polictical party in his company.

    Advice 6) Watch for him showing a sudden, previously unexpressed interest in things that you like and do. For example, if you like a certain left wing group that he doesn’t know as well, he may ask you to suggest groups or speakers for him to listen to. Or, he may have gone to the trouble of finding out that a favorite band [Drenge?] of yours is playing next weekend and mention to this, with or without a request to go and listen together. And, if you introduce him to a TV show that he didn’t really know about and that becomes his new favorite thing, that can potentially be a sign that he likes you, especially if he goes out of his way to catch up with you to discuss the show’s unfolding plot.

    Gauge his interest in what you have to say. It really doesn’t matter what you say, it’s how you say it that can tell you a lot about his level of interest. So, try this: Lean in and whisper, with your shoulder barely touching his and say something softly. To heighten the impact, steady yourself gently by brushing your arm across his back. If he moves his head closer toward you and either touches you back or maintains eye contact, he’s interested in you. If he isn’t interested, he’ll probably step back or be very unresponsive. A really disinterested guy might even try to shoo you out of his personal space!

  5. 5
    Lord Fibbit says:

    G4 have been thieving from us all.

    How long has Grayling known?

    Did others know before him?

  6. 6
    Polly Dominatrix Toynbee says:

    cheeky lips

  7. 7
    Chris Bryant says:

    I’m behind you Guido!!!

  8. 8
    Delboy says:

    Private Contractors. That is the problem here. Never trust them.

    They are almost as bad as full time State employees.

    Best way out of it is to cut criminal laws by 75% . Then there would be no need to employ people like G4 .


  9. 9
    Phil from Pentonville says:

    But will there still be space for Rolf Harris if he is found guilty ?

    He can bunk up with me and my mate.

    We can be his two little boys.

  10. 10
    Guido's shadow says:

    I can be behind Guido, in front of him or by his side.

  11. 11
    The Met Office computer says:

    The global warming I predicted has now arrived and will last until infinity o’clock. I am infallible.

  12. 12
    Funny Fenland Folk says:

    Calls for an inquiry have been made over the election of Peterborough Labour Parliamentary Candidate Lisa Forbes following claims of Unite union influence, vote rigging and bullying.


  13. 13
    The diary of Owen Jones aged 13 3/4 says:

    Fish fingers and a strange waffley-potatoey-crispy pancake thing for tea!
    Urgggh! Looks like mum forget to take them out of the wrapper. She never gets it right.. And she’s going out to her bourgeois crypto-fascist meeting of the Woman’s institute! If she were a real sister of the revolution she would a least knit me a revolutionary beret and not another ‘w’ stripe tank top.

    And it means that Dinu-Ludmilla is going to be baby sitting me!
    I don’t really like her because ..

    1} she wears very un women’s lib yellow hotpants with sparkles. {that would look better on me!}
    2} whenever I ask her about her home in the former soviet collective paradise she just says “Was dump. Was grey and shit! Is better now! We have 10 flavours of yogurt instead of just beet flavoured like in old days. Now go play Xbox. I must text boyfriend..”

  14. 14
    albacore says:

    “Miliband’s Reforms Will Wreck Parliament”?
    By Jove, little Ed must be heaven-sent
    The whole damned cabal is so sodding bent
    They should be copped for lurking with intent

  15. 15
    Django Angryheart. says:

    I understand IPSA costs the tax payer around six million pounds a year to audit MPs expenses, carry out reviews and in general terms oversee the remuneration of our Parliamentarians. That’s around nine thousand pounds for each Member of Parliament. Quite frankly this is outrageous. Isn’t it time electors were given the chance to decide how much their MP is paid. I propose at each election a separate ballot paper giving voters the choice of how much IN TOTAL their MP is paid until the next election. Voters could be presented with up to half a dozen salaries from £45k to £100k and then tick the box they feel their MP should be paid. The money could then be raised through the rates. This would soon ensure value for money!!!!

  16. 16
    Carry Hole is a porcine homunculus says:

    or let the MP have their desired salary next to the box to tick.

    Salary paid from local taxation.

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Why is it one or the other?

    Why not state and private in competition. They both have different modes of corruption. So play them off against each other.

    At least then, when you arrest one, you can use the other service for their detention.

    Criminality is a risk/reward decision. Cutting the number of laws will not affect the rates. The reward for real work just has to out weigh the probability of punishment.

    Now it is clear that punishment is too costly for our society, we have essentially removed all laws anyway. Only yesterday there was a report in the local paper on a number of laws that were just too costly to bother with.

    Crime now pays.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Why not ask for volunteers to do the job.

    I am sure there would be a queue. Put me down for October.

    If we have to rely on volunteers for the safety of children near water, why not for simple accounting?

  19. 19
    nellnewman says:

    Oi! How dare you call her a Fenland person. Spe@king as the daughter of one of the last Fen Tigers I can tell you categorically she’s only been here forty years , give or take a few.

    She definitely is not one of us.

  20. 20
    nellnewman says:

    militwit has as much chance of wrecking parliament by becoming PM as I have of travelling to Mars.

  21. 21
    nellnewman says:

    Never mind him – will there still be space for McShame??!

  22. 22
    nellnewman says:

    Actually just last week the Met Office was saying we were going to have a cold wet summer.

    The phrase ‘ not fit for purpose’ comes to mind every time they stick their head above parapet.

  23. 23
    nellnewman says:

    Oh and Fen Folk are mostly Tory. They believe in self sufficiency, hard work, not relying on the state, looking after their own families, marriage etc

    She doesn’t fit any of our criteria.

  24. 24
    Just a thought says:

    Make potential MP’s put out up front, on their election literature, what they think their renumeration should be and what they will claim in total each year they are MP’s. Make any MP subject to recall and sack, if they do not stick to their manifesto personal renumeration pledge.

  25. 25
    Harriet Harpy says:

    I categorically stated on the BBC that Falkirk was a one-off.
    So this must be an evil Tory smear.

Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times

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