July 11th, 2013

“Bol****ed By Bercow”

When Michael Gove sat in John Bercow’s chair during the Tory parliamentary party photograph last week, his impressions of the Speaker had his colleagues in stitches. Following Bercow’s savaging of Philip Hammond, Gove ripped into the Defence Secretary in the style of the increasingly short Speaker. Much to the amusement of his backbench detractors. The Mail has a prototype of a badge disgruntled Tories are planning to wear as members of the new “Bol****ed by Bercow” club.

The Education Secretary would be the perfect patron…


  1. 1
    IPSA says:

    Approved for purchase and claim back.

  2. 2
    Sally Bercow says:

    I’ve had a few tongue lashings off John mostly because his face is closer to my minge than his cock.

  3. 3
    Badges R Us says:

    Warning: Contains a little prick

  4. 4
    Who's Next says:

    Every man is closer to your minge than his cock.

  5. 5
    All the MPs says:

    We are all laughing at the pompous little dwarf and his lecturing speeches. He’s like an insecure junior school master who’s come from the other side of the tracks and relishing the first little bit of power he has ever had.

  6. 6
    John Bercow says:

    Sally’s stripping lead off the roof of our residence to sell on ebay and there is a horse in my bathroom.
    No wonder I’ve got the fucking hump.

  7. 7
    Seen On ebay says:

    Green leather booster seat

  8. 8
    We're violent bastards if you catch us stealin' from ya! says:

    Will de fella wi’ de travellers famous Oirish accent wear one dat sez “Emptied my Bo****cks UP Bercow”…..???!

  9. 9
    Sal E Bercow says:

    Only hump you’re gettin’ round here darlin’

  10. 10
    Leprechaun Bercow says:

    Has anyone seen my Lucky Charms?

  11. 11
    M.Gove says:


  12. 12
    Leprechaun Bercow says:


  13. 13

    oh me me..i do a Bercow..

    “Aaaaiiiirrrrrdddddd MMMMMMiiiiiillllaaaarrrrrbbuuuuuuuunnnnndddd!”


    “Members of the chamber. The prime minister MUST be allowed to give his non-answer that will satisfy no-one. So silence please!…prime minister…”

  14. 14
    David Cameron says:

    Those lovely blue badges would look far nicer with some pretty gold stars running around the edge.

  15. 15
    C.O.Jones says:

    His temper brings great shame to such an eloquent and learned house.

  16. 16
    C.O.Jones says:

    But I do think £5 for one small mushroom is a bit steep.

  17. 17
    A mad swivel-eyed loon says:

    This is the extra thick model

  18. 18

    Cruel …funny..but cruel.

  19. 19
    Winston Smith says:

    State broadcaster doing the rounds on MP’s pay today, compare it with what doctors and headteachers get is what I’m hearing, no comparisons made between MP’s pay and the publicly funded broadcaster’s Presenters and Chiefs. IPSA may need to step in for a reduction in the licence fee.

  20. 20
    Herman Achille Van Rompuy says:

    However they would probably cost around £20k each – plus my vig !

  21. 21
    s says:

    such joy in the face of selfishness and tawdry behaviour – must be the tories

    still, there’s always this from G4S


    they’re all c’unts together

  22. 22
    C.O.Jones says:

    Does it have a hole in the middle like Gordon’s one?

  23. 23

    “Quiet! Who said that? Who is undermining my influence? Right! Its detention for everyone! Four hours detention and a cross country run.
    Perhaps next time you will learn some manners and not pick at my insecurities.
    And the next person who leaves a UNITE union application on my chair will be very sorry indeed.”

  24. 24
    Mars Attacks! says:

    Like √!!

  25. 25
    Carry Hole is a porcine homunculus says:



    Wonder is the government still going to harm health and waste space on forcing people to reduce salt?

  26. 26
    Call me Dave says:

    Indeed they would, I’ll get some knocked up with an extra 2 bright yellow stars for the new full members from Bulgaria and Romania to welcome them to the UK.

  27. 27
    Carry Hole is a porcine homunculus says:

    Sounds like Crapita and local government.

  28. 28
    John Bercow says:

    Right I have had enough, everybody stand on one leg and put one hand on your head and face the wall. Everyone that is except you Mr Joyce.

  29. 29
    We're violent bastards if you catch us stealin' from ya! says:

    ‘Tanks very much, Sir.

    Da ya need any tarmacing done? I’ve still got a load or two after finishing off up Sally’s back passage.

  30. 30
    Miliband says:

    Bolstered by Bercow

  31. 31
    A great night's entertainment for all the family! says:

    Want a Saturday night you won’t soon forget? Then get on down to the Durham Miners Gala this Saturday for a riproaring night of fun! Special guests include:

    Legendary comedian Bob Crow

    Man of the moment Len “PMQs” McCluskey

    Kevin “Toilets” Maguire

    and Owen Jones.


  32. 32
    Tachybaptus says:

    Does it ever occur to you that she might read this?

  33. 33
    Carry Hole is a porcine homunculus says:

    I think that might be the icing on the cake…

  34. 34
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    Come on you Aussies !

    You’ve got the English cricket team,without Abu Qatada,on the run.

  35. 35
    Bob the Builder, when planners fecking let me, but watch them pass anything for the big developers says:

    Just sounds like local government to me, full stop. Doesn’t matter what other companies you pay to help them “improve delivery of service” its just turd polishing.

    IMHO, of course.

  36. 36
    nah says:

    She can read?

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, but all those so called healthy eating mothers have damaged their kids by sodium deficiency through their childhood.

    The behaviour alteration due to basically malnutrition, will last throughout their lives.

    The caring honest always suffer. Another legacy of the stupidity of the NHS.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    I wonder when they will ban the use of BMI.

    A simple genetic based selection technique for labelling children.

    It has no medical, scientific, or statistical basis, and was the first example of mistaken mathematical models created back at the birth of statistics.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    He demands respect, thus gains none.

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    Doctors and head teachers have challenges that require life saving and safety decisions in minutes. They take responsibility and live with their decisions.

    MPs never do anything alone. They even have a large oversight group for a second opinion on all decisions. They never take any responsibility, and strive to only cover up, or find those that should be accountable for the failures.

    MP pay should be a minor fraction of doctors and head teachers. They should make their wealth AFTER using their gained knowledge.

  41. 41
    KGB says:

    Sex-starved Mr Squeaker makes an ideal target for a “honey trap”.

    We just need a blonde hottie who will do anything money…other than Sally, who can we use?

  42. 42
    We're violent bastards if you catch us stealin' from ya! says:

    Oim feckin’ counting on it! Serve her roight fer slagin’ off an innocent man. Put yer “Innocent face” round my speakers mace!

  43. 43
    David Cameron says:

    I would like to wish the English cricket team the very best of luck against a rubbish team put out by the Aussies.

  44. 44
    Scameron's dodgy dealings says:

    Bedroom Tax
    Andy Coulson
    Rebekah Brooks
    Food Banks
    Leon Brittan
    Peter Morrison
    Osborne’s paddock scam
    Children left in the pub
    43 Government U-turns
    Cigarette packaging
    Minimum alcohol pricing
    Anthony Bamford
    Adrian Beecroft
    Michael Spencer
    Peter Cruddas

  45. 45
    Vazoline says:

    Put them on expenses.

  46. 46
    Henry Ford says:

    When is some action going to be taken against Hammond for what he did.

    Guido seems to think it is alright to make a joke of what happened and carry on as before.

    Guido is fast becoming not the answer to the problem but the very heart of it.

    Hammond was bang out of order leaking info which should first have been released to the House.

    This is not the first time this has happened during the life of this piss poor excuse of a Parliament and with Guido’s help it may not be the last.

  47. 47
    Dave Somebody says:

    “Calm down, dear”.

  48. 48
    Owen says:

    Did someone call?

  49. 49
    The Bastard says:

    Bercow is a sad little ickle spickle who for the majority of his political career been a small fish in a big pond. Over the years, he’s gone mainly unnoticed and as a result has built up a jealous resentment over his more successful and respected Conservative Party Peers. Now as the Speaker of the House, he’s gone native and unleashed his wrath as the power has gone to his head. He craves to respected and the Labour Party give him that. Sad really.

  50. 50
    Henry Offellberry says:

    All this shows is how petty and pathetic the Tories really are. This is no way for an elected official to act. Frankly Berkcow has every right to shout them down. They act in an undignified and ignorant manner. At least Berkcow understands that the public want less bickering and more actual work being discussed.

    As for his bias, I think he is impartial. It is however difficult for him to looks so when the Tories are acting in such a disrespectful manner. Labour are guilty too, but they are certainly less pompous in their approach. I think right wingers tend to be a bit more loud and vocal by nature, so this may explain it.

  51. 51
    Paddy Docherty says:

    Just after i left

  52. 52
    Paddy Docherty says:

    No i feckin wont

  53. 53
    broderick crawford says:

    Not a surfeit of edge of chair , split arse funny , bodice ripping stories this session are there gweeders?

    Got a good tip for the evening racing at all ??

    ( and DON’T say your face and my arse !!)

  54. 54
    Leftie mong troll spotter says:

    Oh do fuck off you twat. Try watching for a while you fuckwit

  55. 55
    Referendum Required says:

    Gorbals Mick or Little Boy Bercow -who is the worse Speaker?

  56. 56
    Henry Offellberry says:

    Typical right wing response. Rude and lacks empirical based evidence. This is exactly why Bercow shouts his own party down.

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Blair…. War and the deaths of how many?
    Brown…. An end to boom and bust!

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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