July 6th, 2013

Saturday Seven Up


142 Comments

  1. 1
    כריס says:

    Luciana Berger for future Labour leader and future PM.

  2. 2
    W.C. Maguire says:

    Nothing much happening in the news today.Hold on ,i have a great headline.Camoron burns sausage at No 10 barby.

  3. 4
    The EU is croques monsieur says:

    Stop dithering Cameron and get us out of the EU now.

    • 28
      The Foggy Channel says:

      Everyone in Europe thinks this referendum bill is just a pose. None of the European papers have given it a cm of coverage.

  4. 8
    Owen Jones says:

    Why don’t you all stop being beastly to me.

    Leave me alone,I want my mummy.

    I’ve been a lobbyist,so what ?

    Just stop hassling me on twitter,otherwise I’ll set Len McCluskey on to you.

  5. 11
    Dan Hodges says:

    Forget Falkirk, the big Labour question tonight is: does Ed Miliband’s new hairstyle work? Longer, parting, swept over. Am undecided.

  6. 12
    A religion of Peace? says:

    So what is the common trouble denominator in; Iraq, P@kistan, Afghanistan, Syria, Libya, Egypt, Iran, Bradford, Indonesia, Nigeria, Somalia et al?

  7. 20
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    Tories funded by bankers, Labour by unions. Remember that time unions were bailed out with £bns and caused a £1tn debt?

    No, me neither.

    • 24
      Gordon Brown says:

      Have you seen the size of the bills we have left our grandchildren to pay the interest on?

    • 67
      McDoom's PR Company says:

      And who was it that bailed out the banks after letting the tossers run free for years?

      McDoom, it was he.

      • 75
        Anonymous says:

        And who was it that agreed?

        Yep, the Conservative Party.

        • 125
          rick says:

          So you’re saying both labour and Conservatives are in the pocket of the bankers? Say it ain’t so!

          • Anonymous says:

            No.

            I’m saying them and the LibDem wankers are in the pocket of the bankers.

    • 119
      Fluffy Thoughts says:

      NHS, local-councils, Quangos, Network-Rail, diversity-and-equality ass-wipes. The public-sector is the biggest fraud going and it does not serve the interest of the English tax-payer.*

      * Look at Geoff Huhne’s contracts [at the MoD] and subsequent employment by the Italian-state arms manufacturer. Blood-and-money….

  8. 26
    Owen Jones says:

    ” No to austerity… that’s why Labour MPs will support an increase in pay…. to fund our Comrade lifestyle of canapés and crates of Bollinger champagne”

    Extract from my recent speech to The Peoples Assembly.

  9. 29
    LIAR LIAR PANTS on FIRE CAMERON says:

    McClusky looks like he’s shitting himself , how long before he is arrested and resigns on a massive pension claiming “i did nothing wrong”but i’m stepping down to spend more time with my family / for the good of the party

    • 33
      Quater to Eight says:

      You mean he doesn’t intend to die gloriously on a barricade, leading the proletarian masses?

      • 56
        The Cavalier says:

        If there was another English civil all the Parliamentarians would be able to muster is a few comfort girls and a bummer boy.

  10. 32

    Labour party denies Miliband is ‘vegetative’.

    • 36
      The Co-op says:

      We can do a quiet family funeral for very reasonable rates

      • 40
        Ex Tory Activist says:

        Don’t forget you are booked in May 2015 for Dave and his gay luvving metrosexual multicultural spendthrift party

        • 42
          The Co-op says:

          If we are still in business by then, we’d be delighted.

          ‘The Co-op – celebrating diversity for those who can afford it.’

    • 44
      There here,they're there,they're every fucking where Nelsons Kids.Nelsons Kids says:

      Unlike a Mandela the Milliband vegetable is best left in the ground.

  11. 37

    Darling! I’ve just met our new next-door neighbours, the Al-Sisis! They’re awfully nice. Three kids, four cars and five thousand tanks. He is not very pleased with Dave and has given him 48 hours notice to clean up or clear out.

  12. 38
    He oozes shit from every pore says:

    Chris Addison plays the four eyed snivelling toad character on ‘The thick of it’.
    In real life he plays the two eyed snivelling toad on ‘Mock the week’.

  13. 52
    BBC 24 Hr rolling bollocks says:

    What’s the latest from Egypt?Has Mandela survived the rioting?

    • 58
      Jez Bowen says:

      I have finished putting a massage bandage on my head and now have my neck brace on and my arm in a sling. We are awaiting the arrival of the disability scooter and a large tub of plaster of Paris for my left leg and, hopefully, I’ll be fit to broadcast from the balcony of my hotel’s cocktail lounge any day now.

  14. 54
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Tom Watson resigns hoping that the heat will go away. Wrong Watson.
    Hogan-Howe’s delaying tactics over the Mitchell Plebgate issue will not save his(Hogan-Howe’s) skin. Get on with it!
    Andy Burnham continues to duck his responsibilty over Stafford Hospital. Resign Burnham, you are immoral.
    Chilcot has become an embarrassment. Publish and be damned Chilcot or resign from the inquiry.

    • 60
      Whitewash says:

      Why would anyone expect Chilcot to resign. He’s probably being paid by the day, not for results.

  15. 55
    Dick the Prick says:

    Cheers Guido

  16. 59
    FINBAR SAUNDERS says:

    Adolf Hitler reacts to Brian O’Driscall being dropped from the Lions side

  17. 66

    Ed flexes his squidger as he offers to settle the row with Unite with a knockout game of tiddlywinks.

    Most unlikely to go for the Bristols but will he get his wink into the pot this time?

    Developing…

  18. 68
    albcore says:

    Now, would you credit it – Parliament playing tricks?
    How unusual, taking the British for pricks
    Teasing us with referendum pie in the sky
    Hang on to your hats, there’s umpteen pigs flying by

    • 71
      albacore says:

      Mind you, with this bloody immigrated weather, I can’t even get my handle right.

  19. 70
    Dan Hodges says:

    This is Owen Jones’s entry for the most idiotic “tweet” of the year to date.

    “Owen Jones ‏@OwenJones84 12m
    If Labour wasn’t funded by millions of working people, it would be by bankers, hedge fund managers and legal loan sharks – like the Tories”

    Owen Jones is a candidate for Broadmoor,if ever there was one.

    • 74
      Mehdi Hasan says:

      That’s my boy.

      His tweets are really bad,and i hear that today they will hit an all time low.

      Make no mistake,Owen Jones is a muppet.

  20. 72

    Whatever doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.

    So today, Ed Miliband is going to shoot himself in the other foot.

  21. 73
    Anonymous says:

    Why does Eric Pickles think he can make laws without any debate or the representations being considered?

    A legally explicit law with regard filming has been overturned by him using twitter to bully a council.

    Has he forgotten that the councillors say very little in meetings, and simply just vote after a few questions. The main part is the representations and possibly site visits neither of which, even he admits, should be filmed.

    • 80
      A Voter says:

      Would be nice though to put a face to the fuckers who propose and then vote for any lunatic PC shite in your local area.

      • 94
        Anonymous says:

        Their pictures are in the local papers regularly. Their pictures are on the wall just inside the town hall. Their names and addresses, and pictures are on the web sites.

        The minutes are on the website.

        You have the option to vote out any you suspect, regularly. Most of the “PC *****” is done by the non-elected side of the council who you have no visual ability to watch over. The only visibility is the FOI but that is considered something to hide behind. FOI should be considered a failure of the council as they are under a duty to routinely publish their documents and actions.

        Obviously certain tasks like child welfare are not handled in public in the same way as a new shopping centre.

        Councils define their roles using documents like this one:
        http://www.newcastle.gov.uk/sites/drupalncc.newcastle.gov.uk/files/wwwfileroot/your-council/how_the_council_works/part_3.pdf

        It is all very public. I just want to protect those that try to get the councils to do the right thing, against the bullying by activist groups, and now Ministers and MPs.

        There should be no opportunity for bullying by either side.

  22. 76
    Owen Jones says:

    I’m everything that’s wrong with the radical left.

    • 87
      albacore says:

      Now then, O, please don’t get too swelled-headed
      Most of your bum chums ought to be medded
      Though tranquillisation might be too tame
      For psychos playing the LibLabCon game

  23. 78
    Phobia watch says:
    • 81
      Phobia watch says:
      • 102
        Racial tension is the power base of people like her says:

        That doesnt make sense Diane. By the way have you slapped down anymore Sisters for daring to speak out against your appartheid strategy ?

      • 120
        Anonymous says:

        “xenophobic rhetoric”

        Do you realise it is your mind that assigns that status. The fault is located there.

    • 82
      Ed Miliband says:

      My dad was Aggro Phobic.He hated fighting,especially in war time.

  24. 79
    Owen the teenager says:

    I HATE YOU!!!! I HATE YOU !!! DON’T COME INTO MY ROOM AND TOUCH MY PERSONAL MARTYR DIARY!!

    MUM!! YOU ARE AN OPPRESSIVE, CRYPTO-FASCIST DICTATOR!!
    NEVER TOUCH MY STUFF AGAIN!!

    {slams door}

    {opens door sheepishly}
    For my birthday you are still going to get me tickets to Reading?

    • 84
      Mummy Jones says:

      Owen — what’s this about Mrs.Flabbott up the road gave your ice lolly a lick yesterday?

  25. 83
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    I am concerned about Owen’s mental state.

    Owen Jones ‏@OwenJones84 6m
    @kategilson I mean if the union link was severed, it wouldn’t be the Labour Party any more, it would be something else

    • 85
      Lenin McClusterfuck says:

      Owen. Get your arse over here. I’ve got some ex Mersey dockers what want a little word about your personal life.

    • 91
      Ex Union rep says:

      The Labour party is something else and has been for some time.

  26. 86
    Labour, A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of the Unite Union says:

    Is there anything more hilarious than the spectacle of Ed Miliband on the news saying he’s disgusted by the Falkirk scandal and that he’s outraged by Unite. It’s fake posturing of the worst kind, aided and abetted by the bbc who are running with the “Labour at war with Unite” line as dictated by Labour HQ. You have to give credit to Cameron, his performance on Wednesday clearly hit home and has Labour terrified, hence their immediate panic fuelled damage limitation exercise to portray themselves as being at odds with Len McCluskey and gang. No one with any sense is buying it for a second. The most disgraceful ones in this episode are the bbc who are obediently spinning Labour’s fiction for them.

    • 106
      albacore says:

      Yup, don’t look over here, look over there
      And whatever you do, please don’t compare
      The three tentacles of the LibLabCon
      Or you might find they’re all having you on
      Like with immigration and the E U
      They ain’t arf makig a fool out of you

  27. 88
    Len McCluskey says:

    Andy Murray can fulfil the dreams of an entire nation this weekend.

    By fucking off back to Scotland.

    • 92
      Tennis is even more boring than Golf says:

      Len — perhaps there are some good points about you after all — Welcome to the MURRAY IS A CNUT CLUB.

      • 99
        Deuce says:

        If they re name ‘Henman Hill’ they should maybe call it Murray’s hump or the Arsey knoll.

      • 101
        Deal with it Saddos says:

        Yes Welcome to we are having a hard time dealing with the success of Andy Murray club cause we are ignorant bigots. Saddos.

        • 108
          Deal with it Saddos says:

          You’ve made me so angry I’m going to have to rub some cream into my strawberry’s.

    • 113
      Err says:

      Why don’t they have a Scottish Grand Slam?

    • 139
      Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

      I shall be awfully disappointed if my hero Novak loses.

  28. 89
    Len McCluskey says:

    If Labour win the next election, we’re renaming the country Unite The Kingdom.

    • 124
      Mustapha ben Effit says:

      We will resist all calls to rename the country. United Kaliphate of Great Britain is perfectly appropriate.

  29. 90
    Len McCluskey says:

    Ed, you found my keys yet?

  30. 96
    Bojo says:

    Sc you spastic!

  31. 98
    Behind the headlines says:

    Tom Watsons resignation is the start of his leadership campaign

  32. 100
    Owen Jones says:

    I’ve always found rhubarb has an explosive effect on me :)

  33. 105
    Patient patient says:

    Finding an ordinary width bed in an NHS hospital is becoming increasingly difficult.

    But if you’re over 6 feet tall, your feet have to dangle over the end.

    Fatties win again.

    • 117
      Casual Observer says:

      The obese bastards that merely lack any self-control are consuming an ever increasing proportion of NHS resources, with their grossly overloaded hip and knee joints etc. Doctors should just tell them to fuck off and come back if and when they’ve got back to a normal healthy weight. Stop stuffing your faces with junk food you stupid cnuts.

      • 123
        Chavs for Benefits says:

        If you want us to buy better food you need to give us more benefits. Most of what we get now goes on fags booze and betting shops.

  34. 109
    The Peoples Assembly says:

    People can scream and shout as much as they want. Labour/Union relationship important, but it can’t continue in its present form.

    By decree of the all powerful Owen Jones

  35. 112
    Fabians are evil says:

    Labour and the revolting sweating mass of filth that vote for them are to blame for the current economic/social problems of the UK. They should all hang their heads in shame for imposing that crazy mad arsed jock cretin Gordon Brown on us.

    • 116
      Casual Observer says:

      A mild understatement — the real putrid scum are the shampain socialists headed by that bastard Bliar

      • 121
        Blair Rich Project says:

        I don’t give a fuck what you think. Me and Cherie have made about 40 million and have so many properties I’ve actually forgotten how many.

        • 128
          in the red says:

          It’s the socialist way. A glass of champagne goes own very well after pretending to help the poor people and plundering the public purse for personal gain.

  36. 114

    Bye, Abu Qatada. Have a nice trip.

  37. 115
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    Breaking away from the unions, supporting cuts to universal welfare, endorsing anti-immigration policies,welcoming Owen Jones with open arms………is there anything left of Labour?

    • 138
      George Washington says:

      I’ve got this old axe I’d like to sell you. It’s the same one I chopped down the cherry tree with when I was a boy. Except for the head and the handle, it’s the exact same one.

  38. 118
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Come on, anyone but Andy!

  39. 122
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    Owen’s put on accent annoys me too. “WARKING CLAAASSES”

  40. 127
    Anonymous says:

    Shouldn’t Jones declare this conflict of interest every time he’s on the BBC?

  41. 130
    Anonymous says:
  42. 131
    Anonymous says:
  43. 137
    The New Ed Miliband says:


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A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”



Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.


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