July 4th, 2013

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. All the latest on Tom Watson’s resignation and Labour’s union crisis…

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
  2. 2
    David Camoron says:


    Len McCluskey

  3. 3
    David Cameron says:


    Len McCluskey

  4. 4
    David Cameron says:


    Len McCluskey.


    Len McCluskey

  5. 5

    Could you repeat that?

  6. 6
    David Cameron says:


    Len McCluskey


    Len McCluskey


    Len McCluskey

  7. 7

    No! Still not clear…

  8. 8
    David Cameron says:


    Len McCluskey,

  9. 9
  10. 10
    David Cameron says:

    Yes I’m a shithead.

  11. 11

    OK. No need to repeat yourself.

  12. 12
    David Cameron says:

    I’m fixated about Ed and the Unions.

  13. 13
    David Cameron says:


    Len McCluskey.


    Len McCluskey


    Len McCluskey

  14. 14
    nellnewman says:

    Has Twatson really gone or has he retreated to the shadows to be militwit’s assassin with a stilleto in the back for ed’s enemies when they least expect it?

    Once a backstabber always a backstabber.

  15. 15
    David Cameron says:

    I got comment of the day!!!

  16. 16
    Ed Miliband says:

    I never wanted to be leader and certainly don’t want to be PM, even if Big Uncle Len has volunteered to take all the difficult decisions for me.

    My plan to lose the 2015 election is ahead of schedule.

  17. 17
    David Cameron says:


    Len McCluskey

  18. 18
    nellnewman says:

    Ladies semi-finals at Wimbledon – and it’s not raining!!

  19. 19
    Nurse Ena Botha says:

    Time for your medication Mr Cameron

  20. 20
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    I can count to eleventeen now.

  21. 21
    Red Robbo says:

    There has been no chance in the opinion polls, Labour still lead, the tory support hasn’t changed and actually no one is really paying attention to what is said at PMQ’s.

    If the present opinion polls are anything to go by its Labour with a majority of 96. In fact if they had a bit more bottle and offered something like an alternative they would be out of sight by now.

  22. 22

    Has that made you gay?

  23. 23
    nellnewman says:

    Wasn’t difficult since it was the only comment of the day there for a little while.

    But well done all the same – you may have a paper gold star to stick on the front of your shirt.

  24. 24
    Lord Stansted says:

    Obvious due to global warming – sorry, climate change.

  25. 25
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    As well you should be. Takes your mind off the sidelight issues like the economy and the EU, and who Owen Jones’s new best friend is (and his initials are not DH, from what I understand).

  26. 26
    Red Robbo says:

    Just how dare the unions try to influence the party they created, how dare they! You never get big business trying to influence the Tory party or racist-half-wits trying to influence UKIP.
    When are these union FAT-CATS going to realise that they don’t represent working people!

  27. 27
    nellnewman says:

    You must remember that michael foot and kinnochio both had poll leads of 16% and 20% whilst in opposition – mid term of parliament – and both went on to lose the election that followed 2 years later, badly!!

  28. 28
    solid, dense, thick. says:

    summit…is Berners Lee.
    give the knowledge away for free.
    given that your cover is blown why are you still here? I am sure my friend Mr S….the owner and hence the father of the house will pay you 1m wages for your troubles.
    Father cannot face you so he is in hiding ……..blinds half down. But min will be transmitted…..The path to good health is through Crussh. Face the subject of betrayal. of alimony…..
    Eat your past self.
    so as PC becomes the past, good health becomes the futcha.

  29. 29
    David Cameron says:

    I always was and secretly you knew it.

  30. 30
    nellnewman says:

    Yep we’ve actually got sunshine today – wait for anthropogenic climate change gnomes to start climbing out of the woodwork predicting doom and gloom and east anglia turning into a desert etc.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

  32. 32
    Dynaplod (up for promotion) says:

    Will you please accept my offer, Miss Botha?

    May I call you Diane Emma Aunty Ena?

  33. 33
    Ivor Welsh says:

    We don’t want mealy mouther words from the Kenyan.

    All we want to know is have they been spying on us or not.

    End of story.

  34. 34
    Phallacy of the undistributed middle says:

    He sleeps on the left of the bed…

  35. 35
    nellnewman says:

    Union FAT CATs representing working people?


    My old Dad always told us, NEVER join a union they only want your subs to keep their top men in luxury and the rest will be slavery. His view of unions was that they intimidated their members into silence and rode roughshod over their views.

    Arthur Scargill and the way he behaved with his members money and left them starving on picket lines without even a proper vote, proved he was absolutely right.

  36. 36
    solid, dense, thick. says:

    pls advise of the deal made ….which makes you think that you own the house.
    on a legal basis you do not have a leg to standon….Mr 1Legg.
    ………………The Queen owns the house.
    The king is as dead as death.
    so hex.
    stuffhim. in the world of grownups.he became no one. Motha owns.
    Motha mouse,
    .cat surrounded by mice and the topcat is shling.

  37. 37

    Just curious to know why you decided to use that contextually strange word secretly?

    Was it made in panic or just a last minute change to the post that was better left unmade?

  38. 38
    Hоmеr Sіmpsоn says:

    Yоur іdеаs аrе іntrіguіng tо mе аnd І wіsh tо subscrіbе tо yоur nеwslеttеr.

  39. 39
    nellnewman says:

    “Mr Miliband’s attempts to prove he is getting a grip on the problem suffered an embarrassing setback after his script to rebut the Prime Minister’s expected attacks at PMQ’s was found in a Parliamentary lavatory.

    His two-and-a-half pages of typed crib sheets, which were rapidly made public, revealed his proposed lines of attack over claims about the Unite union”

    Hat-tip Daily Mail.

    I’m becoming more convinced by the day that militwit is the true heir to the comedian brown.

  40. 40
    solid, dense, thick. says:

    nell, you are depressed.
    find a cat to kick.
    since you have no guts just scratch him.
    pester him for money always….yu secretary?
    keep him under your toenails.
    he loves a good pinch.
    royalty innit.
    He is your carer, never let him out of the house for idle chitchat. Most certainly he is not allowed to play away, regardless of the promised and wanted goodies.
    Have guts as PC is gutless. problem then is that you will be sectioned. No probs that as you know. In other news, it is revealed, that PC,s planned away visit is now cancelled.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Karie Murphy has been fucked by Tom Watson.

    Not sure which way.

  42. 42
    Nothing like a bit of anaphora says:

    “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way”
    “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”
    Charles Dickens’ Tale of Two Cities.

    Nothing at all to do with the discussions going on here I just thought the blog could do with a bit of couth.
    No, I do not think of Twatson as a Sydney Carton- more big Mac carton but I bet in his heart he thinks he is.

  43. 43
    Anonymong says:

    Kаrіе Murphy hаs bееn fuckеd by Tоm Wаtsоn.

    Nоt surе whіch wаy.

  44. 44
  45. 45
    Owin Jones says:

    Three Christian women were beaten and paraded naked by a Muslim mob who broke into their Pakistan home while they were sleeping.

    Christian women are extremely vulnerable to attack in Pakistan
    Sisters-in-law Arshad Bibi, Sajida Bibi and Sauriya Bibi were attacked on the night of 3 June while their husbands were at work. Their elderly father and mother-in law were also asleep in the house in Lahore at the time.
    The mob of 12 armed Muslim men scaled the wall and broke into the property, looking for the women’s husbands. When they could not find the men, they began beating the wives, before taking them out into the street and tearing off their clothes.
    As neighbours came out in response to the commotion, the women were released, but the villagers were threatened with more trouble if they complained about the incident.

    Damn Muslims !!

  46. 46
    cheshire cat says:

    You tell him.

  47. 47
    cheshire cat says:

    His thong has just caught his todger and now he’s enjoying the sensation.

  48. 48
    Ed MiliBuddhaBuddhaBand says:

    Tho have I

  49. 49
    Bennie Greenbobble says:

    The horror of Brown was that he was capable of lunatic stupidity and vicious spite.

    Millitwerp is capable of naff all.

  50. 50
    Ed Millionbandwagons says:

    Andy Coulthon


    Andy Coulthon



    Yeth it ith pathetic to keep repeating it.

  51. 51
    Dan Hodges says:

    Taking that 1980’s-comedian crack by Simon Danczuk MP to heart, Owen Jones decided to play upon his uncanny resemblance to the young Hugh Laurie, and copied one of his poses…


  52. 52
    Ed Milliband says:


    Labour party


    Labour party

  53. 53
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Oh dear what can the matter be, Miliband’s script was found in the lavatory ;-)

  54. 54
    V1le Labour trashed my Country says:

    Ed Multimillionaireband doesn’t need to count with all the money pouring into his bank accounts from the eu and Unions.

  55. 55
    Laurie Penny says:

    He’s a wrong ‘un , if ever I saw one.

  56. 56
    Gooey Blob says:

    Indeed, I’ve been following elections for decades and I’ve seen this all before. Labour’s current lead of 5% is woeful, and it’s going to get worse as the election approaches. Best guess is that with a few months to go, the Tories will be ahead and come polling day their lead is likely to be enough for a majority.

    The only thing Labour can do to stop this is remove Ed Miliband. They simply won’t do that.

  57. 57
    Mr Bumble says:

    If that is what he thinks, then he is a ass.

  58. 58
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    I reckon he bats for the other side as well.

  59. 59
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    You do know you are talking to a bot. Doh!

  60. 60
    Maqboul says:

    McCluskey, uskey, uskey

    Unite, ite, ite

  61. 61
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Sunshine in summer – it’s climate change.
    Snow in the winter – got to be climate change.
    Raining on a small set of islands in the Atlantic ocean – sure, climate change again.
    My toast was burnt this mornng – damn this climate change.

  62. 62
    Hоmеr Sіmpsоn says:

    I am a bot talking to a bot.

    You are talking to me.

    Are you a bot too?

  63. 63
    Maqboul says:

    That’s where the Bennite pipe should be sticking out of.

  64. 64
    The Foreign Secretary says:

    Once a shitstabber, always a shitstabber

  65. 65
    The Foreign Secretary says:

    I’m going to put a gold star on the end of his cock – using my gums.

  66. 66
    David Cameron says:


  67. 67
    Jeffrey Osborne says:

    Where do I put the batteries in this abacus?

  68. 68
    Anarchist says:

    Well done Egyptians. Wish the British were capable of such.

  69. 69
    Another week wasted arsing around with the thick as pig shit, leeching, junkie, alky, brainwashed Edinburgh dogshite. says:


  70. 70
    nellnewman says:

    Oh SC I didn’t mean you!! But you have to admit that mcclusky and crowe are hardly thin!

  71. 71
    Owen Jones says:

    Mum! My shirt is all creased and hanging out. Everyone is laughing at me. It’s not fair. I told you to iron it and it’s all creased. WHY CAN’T YOU IRON IT PROPERLY NO I’M NOT SHOUTING. YOU’RE SHOUTING.


  72. 72
    zoo keeper says:

    There is only 1 a bot on here – and she is affectionately known as the Hippo.

  73. 73
    zoo keeper says:


  74. 74
    Ohthisbloodypc says:

    Don’t mess with Unite Ed

    He’s the leader of the Mockney Reds

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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