July 2nd, 2013

Reshuffle Runners and Riders

Given that exactly half of the women in cabinet are called Theresa (2 out of 4) it is going to be tough for the PM to sack a woman at the coming reshuffle this month. Equalities Minister Helen Grant and Maria Miller, the Culture Secretary, have been particularly useless, but the Cameron project is on thin ice here.

Former TV presenter Esther McVey is expected to be plucked from the Department for Work and Pensions, especially after that unexpected primetime Today programme performance yesterday. Amber Rudd, currently on the lowest rung of the ladder as George Osborne’s parliamentary PPS, is heavily tipped to become an undersecretary of state… somewhere.

As Guido has been reporting in the Sun over recent weeks, reshuffle speculation is reaching fever-pitch. Loyal backbenchers and excitable junior ministers are all ears. Guido hears that Man of Kent Charlie Elphicke is particularly confident of his chances of promotion. As is Transport Junior Minister Stephen Hammond, who has been prying any snippets of speculation he can out of his bored colleagues.

Keen greasy pole climber Claire Perry is “clearing her desk as we speak and preparing her staff for high office” according to one dry Tory MP. Watch out for Liz Truss, as well. Nobody disputes the ladies will do well…


  1. 1
    nellnewman says:

    If he’s just going to promote women for the sake of some sort of femininist agenda he shouldn’t bother. We don’t need any more useless mariamillers.

    He should promote the best person for the job and dump all this leftwing hattyharpic rubbish about promoting women just because they’re women!

  2. 2
    Lord Stansted says:

    Women politicians, with the exception of Thatcher, have proved themselves to be as useless as men.

  3. 3
    I don't do "Today" says:

    What did Esther McVey do yesterday?

  4. 4
    Ex Tory now UKIP Activist says:

    The only reshuffle that matters is DAVE OUT

  5. 5
    a non says:

    Perhaps with the reshuffle Dave should remove a lot of the jokers.
    Dead wood isn’t helping progress

  6. 6
    LGBT DAVE says:

    He’s moved on from women and men Nell. Only the Transgendered will do for Dave now,

  7. 7

    That’s good news about Amber Rudd…. if it means she spends less time here in Hastings blathering on about “the economy is on track..etc”

  8. 8
    Backbench Tories says:

    Sorry old chap — we haven’t got the guts — we’re too worried about getting our promotions to Junior Assistant Tea Ladies at the Dept. for Culture Media and Costly Fuckups.

  9. 9
    Harridan Harmanhater says:


  10. 10
    Margaret Moron says:

    MPs deserve a pay rise if only for the energy they put into fiddling their expenses.

  11. 11
    Lord Stansted says:

    There aren’t any left in the HoC.

  12. 12
    Steve Miliband says:

    Reshuffle the Lid Dems back to the opposition benches, suddenly loads more jobs

  13. 13
    Dan Hodges says:

    The Rumour Mill: Owen Jones to vote Tory at the next Election ?

  14. 14
    BoJo says:

    What aload of tossers

  15. 15
    nellnewman says:

    Have not a clue but if he promotes her I hope she doesn’t turn into the tories very own jackiesmith complete with unsuitable cleavage. If she’s got a brain and can use it for the country’s advantage – good . If not leave her where she is.

  16. 16
    Hockey sticks that are jolly says:

    Perry is appalling.
    One of those mouthy birds who thinks talking loudly and over you means she is intelligent and knows her stuff. All it means is she is too stupid to appreciate how stupid she is.

  17. 17
    M102 says:

    I would love to see flappy Miller get the gooner.

  18. 18
    One Term Dave says:

    I’m in Kazakhstan at the moment getting advice on the most efective ways to subvert democracy.

  19. 19
    nellnewman says:

    Let’s hope the bumbling vincecable is first out of the door.

  20. 20
    Stolen innocence 2012 of United Wheeldom says:

    Reblogged this on stoleninnocence2012's Blog and commented:
    Esther McVey, the Disability Minister who won’t meet Disabled Groups etc, MAY get the Boot!
    UKIP have the only Disability Spokesman who is disabled, and I know she talks to Disabled Groups too ;-)

  21. 21
    Islamic KIngdom of Britain says:

    Channel 4 to broadcast daily Muslim call to prayer:


  22. 22

    I just wish he would shuffle his sorry arse out of number 10 !

    I wonder if his visit to “gas rich” Kazakhstan was in desperation to secure energy contracts for this foreign energy reliant country of ours
    Ten years of war , thousands of lives lost and still the west didn’t achieve their original goal of the pipeline across Afghanistan
    They still have to figure out how to get all that gas to the west

  23. 23
    This was the point? says:

    I can’t wait for our first glorious UKIP cabinet members.

    Farage minister for pubs and smoking
    . Neil Hamilton secretary of state for corruption.
    Christine Hamilton under secretary to Nadine Dorries for inappropriate TV performances

  24. 24
    S'True says:

  25. 25
    Casual Observer says:

    Sounds a lot better than Dave’s incompetent mob.

  26. 26
    SP4 BS says:


    So what’s maggie’s Iraq then?

  27. 27
    Enemy Combatant says:

    Frack it out of Lancashire?

  28. 28
    McVey is Plucked says:

    Not sure what Guido means by “plucked” as that could either be discarded or promoted. So what did she do on “Today” yesterday? As one of the few MPs who does not talk MP Bullshit I suppose she was pretty blunt with the duty “today” inquisitor.

  29. 29

    Cameron will be on warning from Clegg
    No lib dumbs to be shuffled

  30. 30
    Dave's Piss and Wind Government says:

    Sensible government at last. Beats having ministers for Windmills, Homosexual weddings and giving as much money as possible away.

  31. 31
    Spaz Vaz says:

    Crap morning post Guido but at least it’s pushed Vaz down from the Top of the Bill.

  32. 32
    Yeo the one that I want. The MET says:

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    You must admit, ukip are scraping the barrel with that lot ! they always seem third rate and desperate to be in the public eye in some way!

  34. 34
    a non says:

    And there lies the rub. The tail wags the dog.
    Would have imagined a ‘concerned equality party like the LibDems would have supported boundary changes but following the defeat of rearranging the sun loungers in the HoL they appear to refuse to back anything.
    2 steps forward and 3 steps back through Lib Dem interference seems to have become the norm.

  35. 35
    Lazy boorish sexist says:

    She can climb on my greasy pole any time!

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Did you actually read the list Casual ? if so, you are easily pleased! why do you think having weirdos who have been thrown out of mainstream politics for corruption is a good thing ?

  37. 37
    Ed Miliband says:

    And you think Nigel’s got problems?

    Look at the shit I have to put up with. Abbott, Balls, Umunna and Twigg to name but a few.

  38. 38
    albacore says:

    Shuffling the furniture on the S S Tory
    With lots of “Ooh!”s and “Aah!”s and “Cor, ain’t that gory!”
    Just Dave taking time off from being soft as lard
    Swapping one berk for one more chocolate fireguard

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    David Cameron is doing a good job, especially considering he has Clegg around his neck ! who else could do better ? certainly not Milliband and co !

  40. 40
    Ear, Ear says:

    Oh come-on! Esther McVey has taken one for the team in trying to defend the governments treatment of the disabled.

    Talk about an impossible brief.

    You know, like to one Mensch had with Leveson.

  41. 41
    Tory Shirtlifters says:

    As the man said.

    Sounds a lot better than Dave’s incompetent mob.

  42. 42
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    and Sussex, please.

  43. 43
    Sling your Hook says:

    I wish I was back in the good old UK – the United Kaliphate.

  44. 44

    Did Daniel Kawczynski climb the greasy Pole last night?

  45. 45
    Guido gets his man says:

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Being disabled does not mean you are any good as a minister for the disabled! Tanni Grey Thompson annoys people whenever she opens her mouth, as she is so entitled and self centred.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Gideon will have more of his “LITTLE HELPERS” IN PLACE AHEAD OF “EVENTS”

  48. 48
    Owen Jones says:

    What’s the best way to grease a Pole?

  49. 49
    A Wirral West voter who will vote UKIP says:

    Esther McVey, she’ll be lucky to still be an MP after 2015, she’s turned out to be a true EU clone, most people I know thinks she’s useless and won’t be voting for her.

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    You are going against the feeling of most people, David Cameron has a personal poll rating much higher than anyone else. Why are you banging on about Gas? you sound a bit strange.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    Nadine, did you go in to politics knowing you would end up embarasssing yourself and your party ?

  52. 52

    I see Barry Obama has stuck his oar into Egypt , by phoning fellow muslim the president , and urging him to sort it out
    Is this the next port of call for “Team America the World Police” ?

    Fuck Yeh !

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    She comes over very well on radio and tv, albeit in a very “intelligent scouser” sort of way, which can get very annoying admitedly.

  54. 54
    Scouse like Posh says:

    Funny lot the Scoussers. They would rather have a posh Londoner who knows fuck all about the area and who would ordinarily not even speak to a person with a Scouse accent as their MP.

  55. 55

    Pray, shine some illumination upon your lubrication.

  56. 56
    The Truth Hurts says:

    She’s right though.

  57. 57
    Dweeb says:

    Guido, how can an Equalities Minister be anything but useless?

  58. 58

    It’s people who post inane anonymous comments are a bit strange
    His rating is irrelevant , he will never get re elected , i’d put my house on it !

  59. 59
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Personally I do not really care if they LBGT provided they can do the job, their personal life might provide a bit of light relief for this blog but if they can do the job and do it well that is all that is all that is required politically. How many so called straight (very often been found to have been found to have some tendencies) are totally incompetent and promoted way above what they are capable of doing, either through lack of experience, lack of knowledge of what their department does (always seems odd to me that someone could be a Home Secretary without knowledge of the law or anything to do with the law), or even lack of interest.

  60. 60
    Simon Cowell says:

    We don’t do Presidents in the UK.

    The people also thought a dog was the most talented person in Britain.

  61. 61
    The Army says:

    Can’t we have a reshuffle Egyptian style?

  62. 62
    Dweeb says:

    Can’t work out why they would want a call to prayer on the telly at 3am. You’d have to get up and switch it on first. Bit like having an alarm clock that needs a whack to make it ring.

  63. 63

    The way the country is going, it won’t be long before we do.

  64. 64
    The Black Spot says:

    Personally I care very much if my male MP is really a woman dressed up as a man or Vice Versa. If they don’t know what they want then why are they in Politics telling people what they should want.

  65. 65
    Pavlovs Dog says:

    If being ‘useful’ means ordering police brutality and throwing our industries to the winds of globalisation.

  66. 66
  67. 67
    Monarchy Rules OK says:

    You mean Princes William and Harry to take over?

  68. 68
    Monarchy Rules OK says:

    You mean Princes William and H@rry to take over?

  69. 69
    A Wirral West voter who will vote UKIP says:

    We are NOT Scousers, we are proud Woolybacks in Wirral West.

  70. 70
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    consider the predicament.
    shall we move forward to create a new history.
    those Euros are no good for you, come back to us, feel our love and our warmth.
    I jest with you not, our histories are intertwined, we are the same people, negotiate for a new UNITED Kingdom.

  71. 71
    Mornington Crescent says:

    He Wyle Cop’ed a feel of it while having a Grope Lane. I don’t know whether he went all the way up the Bowdler’s Passage with his Dogpole but it doubtless beats just having a Frankwell.

  72. 72
    Lucky Luciana Berger says:

    Wot…you mean people like me?

  73. 73
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    There seems to be only one person who seems to be “desperate to be in the public eye in some way” and that’s Farrage most of the others seem to be lurking in the shadows, I don’t know if their beloved leader just hogs the limelight to out shine any challengers to his leadership.

  74. 74
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Thatcher was the ONLY man in her cabinet!

  75. 75
    albacore says:

    Take a long look and these pictures and weep
    What is there left that Parliament would keep
    Of what our forefathers fought and died for
    When they were called and all rallied to war?


  76. 76
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    If you have left the tories why should it matter to you if Dave remains PM

  77. 77
    Hobbyist Car Mechanic says:

    You need de-greasing son..A good shower of WD40 does the trick.

  78. 78
    Another rat says:

    McVey is pro-EU, enough said.

  79. 79
    Jacqui Smith: an example of why gender politics doesn't work says:

    If they got booted out for being to rubbish be an MP, or even a Home Secretary then they should be given their own TV show about porn.

    That’s what happened to me.

    And another thing! My sister now has to pay the spare bedroom subsidy because you lot all complained I was living with her.
    I hope you are all feeling guilty now.

  80. 80
    Expensive Private Doctor says:

    If there are no suitable women, then the most capable male backbench MP should be forced to undergo a sex change. This will also mean New Conservative can match Labour’s one transexual MP (Mrs Jacqeline Dromey, the all-woman circus freak)

  81. 81
    Mo Ham Mud says:

    Best way to help the Arab Spring would be to stop supplying heavy munitions to both ( well all ) sides, and give them as many AK47s as they want.

  82. 82
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    What about a woman with a very forceful personality (very male like ) like Thatcher. I too like men to be men and women to be women, at least it avoids unfortunate incidents ;-)

  83. 83


  84. 84
    Andy Burnham says:

    Phew! I thought he’d point to me for sure.

  85. 85
    YorkshireLad says:

    Just think, if Mensch had kept her powder dry, she could be ascending the greasy pole. Luckily for us, she didn’t!

  86. 86
    jack dromey ( mrs ) says:

    except for me of course, can i borrow your pink blouse for PMQs darling

  87. 87
    the ghost of thatcher says:


  88. 88
    Third World Dictator says:

    Please don’t forget stealing British taxpayers money and throwing it, generously in our direction.

    May my fleet of Mercedes, my villas in the south of France and my private executive jets say a heartfelt thankyou to David Cameron.

    Long may he continue to bankroll us all.

  89. 89
    Pavlovs Dog says:

    Thatchers belief system was really quite feminine. She wished for a united globe. What she overlooked was the fact that she was the ONLY female.

  90. 90
    Casual Observer says:

    Corrupt weirdo back in? — try Laws for size

  91. 91
    Clegg is a liar says:

    My position on Europe remains unchanged.
    It is this.

    I promise an in out referendum providing the other parties refuse to back it.
    If they do back that position then I no longer support an in – out referendum.
    That’s pretty clear, eh?

  92. 92
    You what? says:


    For who?

  93. 93
    Dave is a Disaster says:

    Promoting Gay Marriage is a good job is it? More like ruining traditional values for the sake of PC publicity.

  94. 94
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    Fingers crossed for Charlie Elphicke.

    Has ideal background for a Treasury Portfolio.

  95. 95
    Home Shambles says:

    If anyone witnessed the endless queues inbound at Stansted last night, trying to pass through passport control, they would know that the Home Secretary is “not fit for purpose”, the phrase that politicos love to use.

    Third world standards at what should be a world class airport and the worse part is no one seems to care!!

    One Theresa less would be a start!!

  96. 96
    Not a socialist says:

    I didn’t leave the Tories, they left me.

  97. 97
    Rat Watch says:

    Amber Rudd, another pro-EU rat.

  98. 98
    The Lib-Dem's make Labour look honest by comparison says:

    The Lib-Dem’s are reshuffling themselves into oblivion. A more deserving candidate for that particular fate, would be hard to imagine.

  99. 99
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    those Germans just want to use you to let their hair down, to be a little bit untidy for a couple of weeks then Pfffft they are off.
    Do not be swayed by their false promises.
    You know who really loves you, who shares your hopes.
    Negotiate for a new UNITED Kingdom

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    I see the tribal Tories are out in force today.

  101. 101

    All the people of Shrewsbury,
    Playing the old gooseberry,
    They stick up a pole
    In the place that’s still called
    Wylde Cop
    And they pop
    Your grim gory head on the top!

    Thomas Ingoldsby

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    Anonymous(n) and Old Blind Pugh are Cameron and Osbourne and I claim my free (cold) pasty.

  103. 103
    It's not idiocy, it's wholesale corruption says:

    The UK is sitting in the biggest shale gas basin in the entire world and has three hundred years worth of coal reserves.

    Yet we buy and ship across the Atlantic, wood pellets from America as a coal substitute and buy gas from among others the Russians to fuel our economy.

    Then of course there is the wind power scandal involving the most corrupt corporation in the world.

  104. 104
    Day-shift pedant says:

    But he isn’t a Man of Kent, he just represents some of them.

  105. 105
    True Story says:

    Came back from Croatia last week to Camp Stansted.

    Flight 1 hour 47 minutes from Split. Getting out of Stansted shithole and back to the car park 2 hours 40 minutes.

    Never again.

  106. 106
    History Buff says:

    I’ve heard Clegg described as Dave’s minder. The obvious priorities in Number 10 sometimes make me wonder.

  107. 107
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    We have always been here waiting, our children have grown up together.
    You know we are always here, when you have need you know we will leap to your assistance. because we are the same.
    Negotiate for a new UNITED Kingdom

  108. 108
    Jabba Le Chat says:

    The dear leader has a Stalinist paranoia about being shown up as not very bright, so he surrounds himself with sycophantic halfwits, as any historical examination of UKIP shows all the smart people have left or been driven out after the Farage experience…

  109. 109
    Tosspot says:

    We really are being fed a pile of rubbish about our influence within the EU,
    it is very obviously not important, judge people by what they do and not by what they say…


  110. 110
    Mornington Crescent says:

    :-) I expected nothing less from you, Sir.

    I only hope he doesn’t venture out to the village of Cockshutt.

  111. 111
    Tosspot says:

    Again, judge the Government by what they do and NOT by what they say… this is an example of what they do….

  112. 112
    Tosspot says:

    Second Language in UK is POLISH… so what are the BBC putting out for Poles…. NOTHING…. so this act must be considered Racist

  113. 113
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    Esther McVey has not exactly set Westminster alight.

    And now she is in line for promotion to high office because she is a woman.

    This is madness I tell you.

  114. 114
    Clark Brodie says:

    I have a confidentiality clause and your money thank you very much.

  115. 115
    the ghost of thatcher says:

    Clan-na-Gael. Yanks and Germans. *Facepalm*. What have I done.

  116. 116

    Not always the best talented people get to fill a position in government. There are a lot of dead heads out there, pushing and shoving and making semi-intelligent noises and if they wear a skirt they have a top chance.

  117. 117
    Home Shambles says:

    It has recently been possible to avoid some of the third world Stansted crap by flying in and out of “London” Southend On Sea albeit to limited but growing destinations.

    Lo and behold the cancer of passport control clowns has taken hold and the queues have grown steadily, wrecking what appeared initially to be a nice little airport!

    Meanwhile in that particular town, there is a thriving community of Somali and Albanian criminals (drug dealing, prostitution and scamming) some of whom have been deported multiple times, still come and go at their pleasure on phoney passports.

    Governments come and go, the mickey mouse way of doing things remains the norm!

  118. 118



    But it is Ingoldsby who is the legend.

  119. 119
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    It would be nice to see that shyte Burns poleaxed.

  120. 120
    robbie says:

    lets face it- they can’t be any worse than current incumbents

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    Technically he is, I have Elphicke ancestry. Whether he’s down to earth is another question.

  122. 122
    Vote L/L/C for (as yet undeclared) expenses says:

    And the hon. Mem for Corby believes the way out of this debt mountain is to raise taxes.

  123. 123
    Haribo Halfwit says:

    It seems absurd nowadays, but the pool of female MPs was incredibly shallow when the noble Baroness came to lead the party. The idea that Parliament’s composition should mirror that of the population as a whole is entirely modern (and remains problematic as to which segments deserve special consideration).

    It is, in any case, a genteel fiction because certain professional backgrounds continue to dominate, regardless of categories of race, sex or gender – and the Lord Stansted’s observation cuts to the root of the matter: they are all as useless as each other.

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