June 30th, 2013

Read Guido’s Column in The Sun Today

A new strapline for Guido in the Sun. Read about how Boris bellowed at Guido about last week’s “bald spot” story. Ladies, Guido reports what it is like to run your fingers though his hair.

Elsewhere in today’s column:

  • When Theresa May enforced the peace between Lawson and Saatchi
  • Genetically Modified Clegg
  • Hodge wastes taxpayers’ money trying to save taxpayers’ money
  • Buzzwords, burgers and a barbecue for Tory MPs
  • All your latest reshuffle rumours

Politics for the many, not the few, just 60p…


  1. 1
    Latterday Robin Hood says:

    Nothing about a black terrorist dying and 6 weeks of mourning yet then?

  2. 2
    Grooming is seducing : cut the b/s says:

    Except in the case of enrichers where it is outright pimping.

    And Savile where it was straightforward criminal manipulation with the collusion of the BBC

  3. 3
    S-E Loon says:

    Whom, sshhurely…

  4. 4
    Scottish Chav says:

    “I groomed my teacher, now I want his babies”

    Is this gove trying to make state comprehensives more attractive to the better (male) teachers?

  5. 5
    Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

    No, they’re still concentrating on St Stephen.

  6. 6
    Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

    Up our way more people read the Indie on Sunday than read the Sun!

  7. 7
    Obama is going to milk Mandela and the lib left press need a story says:

    He hasn’t gone yet.

    Car tires and Lawrence style crocodile tears are being prepared.

    Obama goes to see South Africa gitmo, hangs with the murderous Winnie and desperately tries to look good despite domestic spying, Benghazi, collapsing economy and an American public still getting their heads around how he used IRS to nobble opposition and conned all into a higher cost poorer quality health care model which still discriminates and forces all to fund abortion.

    He will not visit Mandela in hospital to avoid accusation that he killed him.

    Impeach Obama and switch off the BBC et al

  8. 8
    Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

    I wonder who is the next high profile celebrity to be implicated?

    Will it ever end?

  9. 9
    Cicero says:

    Think the strapline would be better without the ‘who’ (or ‘whom’, suggested above).

    Would read better as: ‘The political backbiter every MP fears’.

    Shorter, clearer and punchier.

  10. 10
    Andy Burnam says:

    They’re taking their time with Nelson.

    In my day he would have been bread within three days to a week : efficiency gains ;-)

  11. 11
    Owen Jones : Strappy Line for Indy says:

    The political pillow-biter every MP ignores

  12. 12
    Loosethink. says:

    bite that back.
    MP, s feed.
    So clearly they are me.
    they are level 3 power.
    .the 3 middle fingers of the left and right when gripping each other have real strength.
    .so for real strength grip 3.
    .by the throat?

  13. 13
    Loosethink. says:

    i.s.law is here babies.
    so babies seduce.
    so stop breeding.

  14. 14
    Loosethink. says:

    in the world of apple is sin and the outer is oh so soft:micro.
    just imagine…how long ago the narratives were crafted.
    we have been babies.
    choice is stay by holding onto the tail of another.
    or not stay.

  15. 15
    Loosethink. says:

    .backlicker….nice. boring.
    .the world is which animal do we become when we take the burka off.

  16. 16
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    We’re able to keep you in the European Union against the wishes of the majority but we can’t stop our own pay rises.

  17. 17
    Loosethink. says:

    The jaw in which the fishes swim.
    The jam which makes you toast.
    the centre that sucks..
    The centre that everyone sucks.
    “suckkiby baby”

  18. 18
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Andy Burnham, are you thinking about those that died at Staffordshire Hospital and other hospitals in the UK? Their relatives are always thinking about them.

  19. 19
    Headmistress (still on strike) says:

    Precisely, but not many will notice.

  20. 20
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Resign Burnham you immoral scumbag.

  21. 21
    Dobbin says:

    .. which accounts for just how fucking dim they all are.

  22. 22
    Scottish Chav says:

    obviously after Hillsborough more people on merseyside read plato in latin than read the sun

  23. 23
    Dobbin says:

    Then these “advisers” should be at the head of the lamp-post queue.

  24. 24
    Jonah Jailbait says:

    Michael Gove should be doing a lot more to protect teachers from selfish and predatory pupils.

  25. 25
    Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

    I once attempted to plough through “Orlando Furioso”.

  26. 26
    Jimmy says:

    “Whom” surely?

  27. 27
    P l e b says:

    Of course they are.

  28. 28
    Lord Stansted says:

    I can’t impeach Obama – not being a US citizen is a bummer here – but I have switched off the BBC permanently. From what I read in the Press, the BBC will soon report the death of some international states-person called Jagger.

  29. 29
    Helpful serf says:

    James, you really should read the thread through before rushing into print. Just makes look like a fukwit mate.

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    I think it’s wrong. I don’t think Guido fears every MP.

  31. 31
    Tone, a pretty straight-up kinda guy, says:

    I asked Gheedough’s gaffer about this when he came home early and caught me hanging out the back of his missus.

    He explained it was a simple typo and should have read “The political backbiter hoon every MP fears.”

  32. 32
    Lovely Kate says:

    Any truth in the rumours I’ve just got a cushion pushed under my dress and the ‘royal’ baby is gestating in a women from Grimsby?

  33. 33
    Jimmy says:

    Why on earth would I want to do that?

  34. 34
    Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

    We don’t buy the Sun up here

  35. 35
    Gordon Brown's expense sheet, still looking for Tony's in the shredder bin says:

    Fund abortion? Ffs – surely being a cath a Holic makes you acutely aware of the irony of that joke, on a blog title “Guid 0 Forks”?


  36. 36
    Gordon Brown's expense sheet, still looking for Tony's in the shredder bin says:

    …Cos I have.

  37. 37
    Loosethick. says:

    In a world.
    Where posting shit.
    Is Apple to Bill Gates.
    Where it’s Job for the boys.
    And cancer takes it too soon.
    Just Imagine.
    How MUCH SHIT.
    Some Tw4t with too much time on his hands and no.
    Valid opinions.
    Can waste…………. or not?

  38. 38
    Scouse is a foodstuff and a congenital desease says:

    Was that after you had ram raided Netto’s?

  39. 39
    LooseSick says:

    He’s probably a poet.
    On bennies.

    Shit. That doesn’t rhyme.

  40. 40
    Naked Under My Burka says:

    I ain’t takin’ it off.

  41. 41
    Genetically modified Clegg says:

    I am a pig with lipstrick.

  42. 42
    Gary Bloke says:

    “The political backbiter WHOM every MP fears”. Or leave out “who” or “whom”. Also, the targets are not only MPs and perhaps not each and every MP.

  43. 43
    Eeyore says:

    I was going to post on this very point, Mr Bloke, but with the proviso that Guido is probably at the mercy of Sun sub-editors – not a position I’d want to be in, however good the money.

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    WHOM, Hunt.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Did that just correct Hunt to hunt automatically?

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    It did…

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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