June 29th, 2013

Saturday Seven Up

This week 111,945 visitors visited 342,538 times viewing 563,755 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    The BBC Ablution Tent Glastonbury 2013 says:

    Morning All.


  2. 3
    The EU has failed says:

    So is Chuka going to fly off to South Africa like Obama at taxpayers’ expense to pay homage to Mandela, and not just for a photo opportunity? Wouldn’t that be trashy?


  3. 11
    mimi says:

    this site should be called hypocrisy r us


  4. 14
    Delboy says:

    Cameron said he thought Egypt could handle democracy.

    What a wally!


  5. 15
    Owen Jones says:

    Massive morning (in uk) for a gay rugby fan(me) – going to be really hard but confident lions can do it. 11.05 kick off.


  6. 16
    sycho says:

    anything here about the housing dept not providing information on outcomes of government policy ( our friend shapps again)?

    anything her o the DWP again lying with statistics (mcvey) and not providing information on the outcome of their policy toward killing disabled people rather than helping them?

    information officer’s going to be busy again as the open and honest tories are caught out hiding info again


    • 21
      A gutted Beeboid utterly desperate that the Tories had a double dip says:

      Ok go on I’ll bite, where are they killing disabled people. Examples please or just shut the fuck up


    • 32
      Duty Pedant says:

      Are your incoherent ramblings the result of a particularly poor state educashun, or are you just a naturally thick and lazy cnut??


      • 49
        Pseudo Intellectual Twat says:

        Do these cnuts come in any other flavour?


        • 152
          Limpy Limpicks says:

          Take it from me, if you are truly disabled, nothing has changed much – they are trying to weed out the Labour created “teach a man to sign on and you’ll get his vote until he gets a job, but teach a man to limp and you’ll get his vote for life” policies.

          I’ve known people, with ADHD labeled children, get a blue badge ffs. It’s getting the little buggers to STOP running around that’s the problem! Being able to park on double yellows has no proven efficacy for ADHD, as far as I know.


          • my motor skills are unaffected says:

            It has some considerable efficacy if there is a traffic warden under your wheels.


    • 59
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      There are lies, damn lies and what governments telling you, they always have and always will, they call it politics, just ignore what they say, use your common sense, you know how things are in reality, just laugh at them when they tell blatant porkies it makes them mad but if you rebel with rage they have won and they know it.


    • 164
      z says:

      you know you’ve got them bothered when they personally abuse you – it’s what they know best – they don’t have an ounce of intelligence, understanding or human compassion – they’re tories ffs


      • 177
        z says:

        Sorry that should have read … “they’re Labour trolls, ffs”

        I must get another brain cell as my only one is lonely.


  7. 17
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:


  8. 22

    Bostik (or We Are Stuck)

    I came upon a child of Tone
    He was walking along the road
    And I asked him, “Where are you goin?”
    And this he told me…

    I’m going on down to Jagger’s Farm,
    I’m gonna join in a rock and roll band.
    I’m gonna vamp out on the land.
    I’m gonna get my rent free.

    We are global.
    We are warming.
    And we’ve going to have to live out in your garden.

    Then can I walk beside you?
    I have come here to smell the smog,
    And I hope to cadge a snog in some butt burning.

    Well maybe it is just the time of year,
    Or maybe it’s the time of man.
    I don’t know who I am,
    But you know life ain’t for learning.

    We are global.
    We are warming.
    And we’ve going to have to live out in your garden.

    By the time we got to Bostik,
    We were half a million strong
    And everywhere there was a mong and sequestration.

    And I dreamed I saw the bombers
    Riding shotgun in the sky,
    And they were turning into windmills
    About our nation.

    We are global.
    Billion year old carbon.
    We are warming…
    Caught in the carbon traders’ bargain
    And we’ve going to have to live out in your garden.


  9. 35
    Owen Jones says:

    Looking forward to the Parade (London Gay Pride) – where I will be joining with over 150 young people as part of The Peoples Assembly contingent!


    • 47
      Pseudo Intellectual Twat says:

      You have some very close followers here.

      Mind your arse on the way down and out.


    • 65
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      150 people? wow, that’s a lot, don’t forget a budding politician does not get lost in the “crowd”


  10. 38
    BBC costume dept says:

    Hello Harrods !
    I need 350 Berghaus fleeces , 350 Burberry waxed jackets
    350 pair of Hamilton wellington boots
    2000 pairs of your most expensive wooly socks and 350 Ralph Lauren Bobble hats please
    Oh yes and send the bill to the BBC
    thank you


    • 40
      Qatar Harrods says:

      no problem. now you get swivel eyed man bumming not too bright English persons to send £100m of their PAYE moneys and shiniest heavy weapons to our nice boys fighting for poor little Israel in Syria.


      • 51
        BBC costume dept says:

        Hellow ! Is that the 5 star Woyal Cwesent hotel in Bath ?
        yes it’s the BBC here i would like to book all your rooms for the duration of the Gwastonbuwy wock concert , as it’s a wock concert and we are supposed to be woughing it , could you pwease wemove the mini bars fwom all the wooms ?
        thank you


        • 161
          Owen Jones Aunty Myfanwy, babysitting the little tit... again! says:

          OWEN! Get back in this house and take off that studded leather jockstrap, NOW!

          What do you think you look like?! And what is all this baby oil doing all over your pigeon chest? You’ll ruin your best Ladybird vest, you silly boy! And those pink socks just look plain silly with your blue Clarkes sandals.

          Your poor sainted mother, my sister, is a martyr to your whims!


    • 67
      Harrods of Libya says:

      We can supply you with half a dozen luxury tents at very cheap rates. Fit for Kings they are.


    • 80
      the light arousal of the motha.in.law says:

      get aroused by aunty:
      aunty has power.
      the english man’s home is where mother is.
      the french man likes to do his aunty from a previous life.
      the mussims are gay and the sikhs are girls.
      all “psycho’s are us”.
      just need the access code.


    • 93
      Young Mum taken to court by BBC Licencing Thugs says:

      You mean the Beeboids don’t buy their own Wellies and fleeces like we have to?


  11. 42
    Ah! Monika reformed says:

    Exclusive Mail Andrew Marr: ” how I almost died twice”

    Exclusive Sun Cheryl Cole:” How I almost died three times”

    Exclusive Mirror Amanda Holden: ” How I almost died every day ”

    Exclusive Sun D14NA : ” How I nearly lived ”

    Exclusive Star Elvis: ” Cooeee”

    Exclusive Times: Blair ” How I never lied “


  12. 50
    BBC News Headlines says:

    1. Obama
    2. Taliban
    3. Artic Monkeys at Glasto
    4 Lord Reith who he?


  13. 69
    Ah! Monika says:

    Andy Murray the Biography.

    Sails, Cruises, Crashes


  14. 73
    Alf Garnett says:

    Hey Guido — why ain’t the dolly mixture of that Lucretia bird on the week’s S7? I’d give it a good seeing to.


  15. 74
    Sit Petra says:

    BBC R4 this morning on the left field at Glastonbury interviewing (who else but) millionaire and shite songwriter Billy Bragg, 20 seconds in started ranting on about (who else but) Margaret Thatcher claiming that she hated music, Ha.Ha.Ha


    • 150
      A 16 old stacking shelves at Tesco's has had more work experience than Billy Bragg says:

      Who can forget some of Billy Braggs best songs like…..and…um… sorry I forgot,what are we talking about?


    • 151
      Salmondnet says:

      Probably just hated Bragg. Not only are his lyrics and music shite. His voice and playing match.


      • 173
        Yeah man says:

        Please assist me in changing musicians to arseholes on the red wedge wiki entry.its been pissing someone off for the last two years and amusing me greatly


  16. 75
    BBC Duty Controller says:

    There’s no fucker here this weekend.

    They’ve all gone away on an expenses weekend of their choice.

    Glastonbury, Silverstone or Wimbledon. While the saddos are hanging around to meet Sarah Brown at the London Gay Pride Mince.


  17. 78
    Poacher turned Poacher says:

    Law reform minister’s firm paid £200,000 from legal aid


  18. 84
    I d on't n eed no d octor says:

    No Glastonbury, Silverstone or Wimbledon for me, I’m spending the weekend beating the wife.


  19. 85
    Labour and Liberal luvies says:

    How do we solve the problem of the illegal immigrant crime wave?

    Errrrrrrrrrr. With an amnesty? Of course!


    • 106
      Hugh Genot says:

      Deport them all.

      (And, arrest every senior civil servant who has ever worked in the Home office for gross dereliction of duty)


  20. 95
    nellnewman says:


    Ho Hum I see militwit’s latest bandwagon is to lobby to keep the face of a notable woman on our bank notes .

    For once I am entirely in agreement with him – it has to be Mrs Thatcher – the first female British Prime Minister.


    • 105
      History says:

      How about Boudicca on the bank notes, smiting the European invaders.


      • 117
        Fatwa Bastard says:

        We’d ordinarily be against depicting anyone (let alone a woman– a woman!) on money, as being blasphemous and possibly punishable by death (as prescribed in the Qu’ran for all idolators), but somehow, the idea of a woman being flogged by foreigners, as she is being forced to witness her daughters being ravished by them, has an odd appeal.


  21. 96
    nellnewman says:


    Ho Hum I see militwit’s latest bandwagon is to lobby to keep the face of a notable woman on our bank notes .

    For once I entirely agree with him – it has to be Mrs Thatcher – the first female British Prime Minister.


    • 107
      Her Maj says:

      Don’t forget me. I’m on every banknote, don’t you know?


      • 111
        nellnewman says:

        Yes indeed – but then militwit seems to have forgotten about HerMaj too and the fact that’s she’s already on our bank notes.


        • 115
          Long John Silver's parrot says:

          Worrying about the photo on a paper currency with an ever diminishing value.

          This is true Leadership at its very best.


        • 131
          Miliband is a treasonous kike who should be executed says:

          He is fomenting further attacks on the crown methinks.


  22. 103

    God !I hate it when Nellie calls Milliband a “twit”
    It’s just too polite to call a twat a twit


    • 167
      RetardEd Militwat, feminist, absurdist, onanist and Unionist sponsored future PM in waiting says:



  23. 109
    albacore says:

    They had better watch out – Cambo’s sorely appalled
    A sexist E U kids’ book he’s gone and black balled
    He’s locked and he’s loaded; he’s got one up the spout
    No referendum now, though. He don’t want us out



  24. 110
    Thames Dover Wight says:

    Suppose there is a eu directive which says UK cannot compose an anthem to sing at the Lions sporting events


    • 122
      Suitable Anthems for the Terraces at (Euro) Loser-Zone matches says:

      To the tune of Michael row the boat ashore:
      Rumpy takes it up the arse, like Barro—so,
      Rumpy takes it up the arse, with Barro-o-so

      To the tune of Que Sara:
      Vote Farage, Farage,
      It’s UKIP for you and me,
      The EU is fucked you see,
      Vote Farage, Farage…

      To the tune of Land of Hope and Glory:
      Land of Hope and Glory, Mother of the Free,
      How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee?


      • 138
        Sit Petra says:

        Who’s that Euro on the runway, who’s that dying in the snow. etc.


      • 141
        Sit Petra says:

        ♫ What’s it all about, Rumpee!
        Is it just for the moment we live?
        What’s it all about when you sort it out,… Rumpeee!
        Are we meant to take more than we give? ♫

        Sorry, got me going there (I’ll get me coat).


      • 147
        Pseudo Intellectual Twat says:

        *tumultuous applause*


    • 174
      Uppity Fenians says:

      No, we’ll gurn


  25. 114
    Owen Jones says:

    Appear non-racist on trains by changing your ringtone from the Horst Wessel song to ‘Midnight Picnic’


  26. 118
    The Peoples Assembly says:

    You can take your Armed Forces Day and shove it right up your hoop.


  27. 121
    Owen Jones says:



    • 124
      In other words says:



    • 125
      Err says:

      National Training Institute mayor (formerly the National Training Center for Mayors) was established in 1983, is the national agency and staffing administration approved the establishment of the Ministry of Housing and Urban subordinate institutions. Specifically responsible for the contractor by the Organization Department of the CPC Central Committee, the Ministry of Housing, China Science and Technology Association three departments jointly organized a national seminar mayor. Its aim is to urban planning, construction and management of other aspects of professional training, and constantly improve the city leadership ability and level of expertise, and actively promote China’s urban modernization.


    • 145
      Where's the Bloody Moderator?????? says:


      Rule 1.
      This Blog is to be conducted in English or Latin only.

      Rule 2.
      Greek may occasionally be used, but only if Schrödinger’s cat has a particularly important pseudo-intellectual point to underscore.


      • 148
        Pseudo Intellectual Twat says:



        • 170
          Where's the Bloody Moderator?????? says:

          That would be Ed αρχίδια, would it?
          Is he known to be a cunning linguist too?


          • Pseudo Intellectual Twat says:

            Κανόνας 3:
            Θα ακυρωθούν όλες οι προηγούμενες διατάξεις.


          • And there's more! says:

            Άρθρο 4.
            ‘Catch 22′ είναι τυπωμένο στην άλλη πλευρά


  28. 123
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    “Equal marriage will allow gay children to stand taller.” (David Cameron)

    What the fuck does that mean?


  29. 128
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    It means that Mr Cameron is either obsessed with non heterosexual sex or is completely off his trolley.


  30. 136
    Owen Jones says:

    This game has just gone mental.

    Lions need more creativity!! Secure the scrums, heat up the offensive…we’re relying on luck too much


    • 153
      Simon Hughes says:

      I can’t see the attraction in watching a bunch of well built sweaty men bent over pushing and shoving at each other.


  31. 140
    Pseudo Intellectual Twat says:

    Didn’t know you could do homophobia in casual mode.

    Latte homophobia? Do you do chocolate sprinkles?


  32. 142
    Owen Jones says:

    Halfpenny misses! Australia WIN!!!


  33. 155
    David Cameron says:

    Belatedly,may I wish the British Lions rugby team the very best of luck in todays game against “The Convicts”.


  34. 158
    Gordon the medicated says:


    Arctic Monkeys are head mastering Glaxoberry!
    Go Monkeys! Play that song you play..the one we all like..you know it’s name…


  35. 159
  36. 168
    Pseudo Intellectual Twat says:

    Ed Miliband is, without doubt, the greatest Labour leader since… er…


    … er …


    … er … Gordon Brown.


  37. 175
    Boring tart says:

    Don’t worry, I’ll be back on your Glastonbury coverage later with my pithy commentary and hilarious asides…..you’ll listen to me more than you’ll see coverage of the groups on sage but that’s all good.


    • 181
      Yet another Jimmy says:

      Purple sage all in my brain
      Lately things just don’t seem the same
      Actin’ funny, but I don’t know why
      ‘Scuse me while I kiss the sky


  38. 176
    Lauren Laverne says:

    You talking about me?


  39. 179
    Masturbation is the highest pinnacle of spirituality says:

    Dr Bronner’s Castile Liquid Soap is the ultimate multi-tasking festival must-have.


  40. 187
    This article has been taken down pending an investigation says:

    Someone seems to have got their knickers in a right twist this morning.


    • 188
      Lost in Clacton says:

      The tentacle of my grandmother will be on top of the fridge two minutes past eleven o’clock yesterday morning.


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