June 28th, 2013

Two-Faced Chuka Talks to Himself

A great spot from Iain Martin this afternoon. Two-faced Chuka gets on his high horse in the Indy to tell us we need to “have a conversation with ourselves” about using supermarkets like Tesco that destroy our high streets, that “we haven’t stopped and thought” about the consequences. Before admitting he shops at Tesco himself.

The hypocrisy doesn’t stop there. Chuka campaigns against a new Tesco being built in his own Streatham constituency, though that hasn’t stopped him from welcoming the development of the new Streatham Hub:

“The Streatham Hub will be fantastic for our area. People have been waiting for the Hub for a very long time and I’m incredibly glad at the progress that has finally been made. Some people questioned whether the development of the Hub would ever happen but now it’s clear that this project will be delivered. It will make a huge difference to our area, be a great facility for local people and it should bring a lot of new trade for local businesses as well.”

Provided by – that’s right – his local Tesco. Textbook Harrison…


  1. 1
    jon says:

    I hadn’t thought of Chukka as leader material until noticing these preposterous and desperate attempts to smear the man.

  2. 2
    Chuka Umunna Fan Club says:

    I was talking to myself but I wasn’t really listening, because I realized I wasn’t talking about me. Does anyone know what I said?

  3. 3
    Stolen innocence 2012 of United Wheeldom says:

    Reblogged this on stoleninnocence2012's Blog.

  4. 4
    NIMBY says:

    What a hunt

  5. 5
    Niles Cooke says:

    Typical leftist patter. The guy’s a numpty jobby.

  6. 6
    Peter Martin says:

    The internet seems to at last be bringing to a close the trend of some politicians (& with luck their credulous tribal media supporters) talking anything up, or down, in isolation, to score a ‘no such thing as a bad soundbite’ free of consequence from history.

    The public will learn of it, and from it.

    Ms. Hodge please also note.

  7. 7
    Niles Cooke says:

    Now I know why the lefty elite think he’s good people.

  8. 8
    Hang The Bostards says:

    He sounds just like Obama……..full of shite !

  9. 9
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

  10. 10
    John Tandy says:

    LOL who could take him seriously ?

  11. 11
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    if God didn’t want us to shop at Tesco he wouldn’t have invented chicken.
    (pause) and trollies, and slow moving old people with no sense of direction.

  12. 12
    M102 says:


  13. 13
    Chuka Umunna says:

    I just wish such ghastly trash didn’t shop at Tesco, ugh!

  14. 14

    …..and the Shadow Business Secretary has what business experience exactly?

    …….ermmm, Oh that will be None!

    just a bit of lawyering because it’s such an honest profession, just like politics

  15. 15
    Beware the oldies of supermarche says:

    ‘Tis friday my boy, avoid Tesco at all cost, unless of course your idea of heaven is being in a supermarket surrounded by meandering chattering oldies.

  16. 16
    Nick 'arson and old lying' Clegg says:

    Careful with that one, most of the cabinet and shadow cabinet have never worked either. Though an impressive number of them have thoroughly useless PPE’s from Oxbridge.

  17. 17
    jmf says:

    I once shagged someone that worked for teso’s.

  18. 18
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    In the sixties there used to be the expression “colour struck” or more accurately
    “color struck”

  19. 19

    If I had not seen Fhucka in action before I would not believe this. We have this sort of politics here.

  20. 20
    Conspiracy Theorist says:

    Can anyone please tell me what happened over Private Lee Rigby’s funeral?
    Has it happened yet?

  21. 21
    M102 says:

    Me too. Small world :)

  22. 22
    Pdubya says:

    Read her latest rant in the papers today about the lack of school places.
    The stupid bat did not mention the 3million potential voters her government imported that actually caused the shortfall. I was surprised that she did not mention a Thatcher connection but she was throwing everything else including the kichen sink at the poor sods still trying to mop up the crap left by her shower.

  23. 23
    Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

    Why is Chuka going on about Tesco? He should be concentrating on Mr Mandela and St Stephen.

  24. 24
    Cap'n Gerry Mandering says:

    Someone who owned Tesco once shafted Westminster and then hid in the promised land!

  25. 25
    Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

    The BBC and C4 News chose not to report it.

  26. 26
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    Is this the tv series ?
    a guy was a fugitive trying to track down an alien conspiracy, he was framed by a man with one leg ?


  27. 27
    Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

    Oh please, don’t remind us of the Nightmare Years (1979-1997).

  28. 28
    Dodgy Politicos Ad nauseam says:

    Something about that slippery bloke, makes want to chuk up

  29. 29
    Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

    They might be good at licking envelopes!

  30. 30
    Conspiracy Theorist says:

    So it has happened?

  31. 31
    Swivelly says:

    Chukka looked at the flock and they knew everything in him was good; for he was the chosen one. He…… had told them.

  32. 32
    Swivelly says:

    Damn lost the pic, how do you post pics?

  33. 33
    P l e b says:

    So Ian Brady is still a nutter.

    Is Earnest Saunders still alive?

  34. 34
    Andrew Efiong says:

    He’s so slippery he’s going straight to the top!

    It will all end in tears of course!

    Well done to Guido and Iain Martin for documenting his rise. I look forward to reading of his delectable failure in due course.

  35. 35
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    jeeez google is crap, used to be you’d type something into a search engine and get three results and one of them would tell you to fuck off.

  36. 36
    Chukka Umunna says:

    That man is clearly material for the next President of this country.

  37. 37
    pendulum movement says:

    work is over valued.
    to have peace, rest.
    to access the knowledge behind “resting in peace” one needs to be there in the first place. Deep rest.

  38. 38
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    you disable your firewall and post http://your_ipaddress://path_to_pic here.

  39. 39
    Chukka Umunna says:

    Yes, I agree with your wise analysis

  40. 40
    Chukka Umunna says:


    I’ll second that.

  41. 41
    Diane Flabbot says:

    Chuka, I’ve read Uncle Remus books to my children and sand along with him in Song of the South, Chucka, you’re no Uncle Remus!

  42. 42
    Chukka Umunna says:

    You don’t often see such cogent analysis on this blog, but you three have nailed it.

  43. 43

    @sockpuppet 5:45

    We have sunshine here. You don’t even have a life.

  44. 44

    Could you start reblogging my sockpuppet, who uses the link “pseudo-intellectual-twat”, preferably to Mongolia. If he gets a following there, he may be tempted to take himself to those parts permanently.

  45. 45
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    you do realize Chuck that there is no mileage in being black, these days the wasps feel guilt about religion.

  46. 46
    Sainthood and an Obumma eulogy awaits says:

    Last I heard, the racist terrorist Mandela is dead.

    Expect wailing and sobbing from the left when the news breaks in the MSM and tales of his ‘courage’ and steadfast opposition to racism, by err, encouraging the killing of white people.

  47. 47
    Owen Jones says:

    Which brings me neatly back to my original point: Socialist beliefs are an infallible indicator of VERY LOW INTELLIGENCE.

  48. 48
    Mr Harrison says:

    As a completely impartial observer, I agree. Chukka is one of the finest politicians in the UK, with a laser like focus and not at all *trashy.

    *Unlike the people who vote for him of course.

  49. 49
    nellnewman says:

    so chuckusyamoney is campaigning for the folks of his constituency to stop using Tesco’s whilst he himself has no intention of following his own advice.

    He’s just trying to cut down the queues at the tills for the times he goes shopping!

  50. 50
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    you are quite wrong, probably because you have a LOW intelligence. Socialist ideas are quite sensible PROVIDING that the populace are made up of intelligent, socially conscious ( to the extent that they believe that the cooperative is more important than the individual ) individuals. A society comprised of such individuals I contend would work and be successful, like bees or wasps are successful but with a special chamber for creative hive building. Of course rugged individualism has had it’s place but for example let’s take NASA. a bunch of guys working towards a common ( fantastic) goal, are they doing it for self importance or for the benefit of the human race ?

  51. 51
    Gonk says:

    Your borrowed XR3i without permission years.

  52. 52
    Gonk says:

    When Chuka walks into a room, any room, he’s always the twat.

  53. 53
    Ed Miliband says:

    I haven’t grown into the leader’s role, and it’s now obvious that I’m not going to. Polls are looking disappointing 2 years out and will not get any better. It’s looking like Labour will lose more seats than we gain in the 2015 election.

    The question is, does anyone have the cojones to stab me in the back?

  54. 54
    hmmm says:

    must be bored talking about chukka

  55. 55
    Kevin Turvey says:
  56. 56
    nmj says:

    You rate him that highly?

  57. 57
    Chuka Umunna, world-class sharpster extraordinaire says:

    I’m in a quandary right now– Cake: Have/eat/both?
    Suggestions welcome. (On topic, please.)
    Trashy people need not bother.
    I will be visiting my money in Jersey, but I still can be reached at CU.later@URallmugswhoevervotedforme.com

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    One of those blokes who do the trolleys?

  59. 59
    M102 says:

    At least we know that your sockpuppet isn’t tat because he used to write in capitals :)

  60. 60
    Omar Mahmoud Othman عمر بن محمود بن عثمان says:

    I’m still here

  61. 61
    M102 says:

    I prefer Waitrose.

  62. 62
    M102 says:

    No he’s the gift that keeps giving comedy value.

  63. 63
    M102 says:

    Spe@k up Kev!

  64. 64
    Edward Cojones says:

    Ha Ha.

  65. 65
    Edward Cojones says:

    Like the bennies claims, can we ask that posters here correspond only in the mother tongue.

  66. 66
    Enriched Eric of Enfield says:

    Why have only 20% (300/1500) of mos ques/ i-mans pulpitted about the issue of groom ing today. Unimportant for the remainder?

  67. 67
    Fartpants Gold says:

    parp parp trump parp blatterrrrrrrrrrrr pip pop part thrump

  68. 68
    M102 says:

    Who do what to the trolleys?

  69. 69
    M102 says:

    I heard he was getting better.

  70. 70
    nellnewman says:

    Lucky you can afford it. Enjoy.

    I shop between tesco’s, asda and aldi to get the best of deals.

    Politicians don’t have to do that of course as all their bills are paid for by the taxpayer . So they don’t care about getting best price for anything – just pay through the nose and claim it back on expenses.

  71. 71
    عمر بن محمود بن عثمان says:

    أبو قتادة الفلسطيني

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Collectivisation fails not just because of “social conciousness” – (which would involve treating strangers with the love/self-sacrifice you reserve for your children). The decision makers will never have the right information. Read Hayek.

  73. 73
    Fartpants Gold says:

    I once farted in Tesco

    I have farted in Asda

    I rippled my pants in Waitrose

  74. 74
    nellnewman says:

    chuckusyamoney is labour opposition business spokesman.

    So what business has he ever run? what experience in business does he have?

    None!! What a surprise . An unskilled politician dictating to folks who’ve run their businesses successfully for years . No wonder the electorate has stopped listening to labour!

  75. 75
    Bob Crow says:

    With French, German and Belgian state-owned railways owning around 60 per cent of Britain’s train operating companies, the coalition government accepts that services can be run by any state “as long as it isn’t the British state.”

  76. 76
    Tachybaptus says:

    أنت البومة

  77. 77
    القاعدة says:


  78. 78
    M102 says:

    It is cheaper than the Coop in my village. I have to travel 1/2 an hour to get there but worth it. Plus the cashiers are better looking.

  79. 79
    Tachybaptus says:

    ‘… let’s take NASA. a bunch of guys working towards a common (fantastic) goal, are they doing it for self importance or for the benefit of the human race ?’

    For the self-importance of the US government. Name a benefit that the space programme has produced for the human race. (When asked to think of a benefit, most people say ‘Umm. The non-stick saucepan?’ Teflon was invented in 1938, by accident.)

  80. 80

    Deficiency comes in so many guises…

  81. 81
    Tachybaptus says:

    Obama is flying in to see him. That will finish the poor man off.

  82. 82
    I Hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

    I did warn you.

  83. 83
    tech talk: the pouring saliva says:

    the issue is the sun.
    mother earth got deflowered as the sun lingered too long.
    escape the rubbish by escaping the sun.
    to say that ” i am this because it is my astrological sign” is defeatist.

  84. 84
    learning curve: stop eating yourself. says:

    power is naff as no one stopped the use of willpower.
    “love is all you need”… for happiness just give your head on a platter to someone ….just anyone,
    sufficient for a while, it will ultimately not be.
    the only answer for the ultimate is to enter deep space….the depths of the head….
    for that heightened awareness, stop eating.

  85. 85
    Chukka Umunna says:

    You’re right. You are absolutely right.

    The fact that so many of us agree must mean something.

  86. 86
    Millibland says:

    I’m deficient in having original thoughts.

  87. 87
    justpassingthrough says:

    you’re all still mental.

  88. 88
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    Err, hmm that’s a hard one. what about telecommunications ?
    the first one that I noticed was aluminum oxide fibre.
    have to google nasa patents I suppose.
    of course not everything fits into a nice tidy pigeon hole but I contend my example ( nasa) works where the greater good is there in the work of a community.

  89. 89
    choo choo says:

    Seems Liebour wasn’t around from 1997 to 2010, another whitewash job, why didn’t they return the train operating companies to state control,

  90. 90
    Sit Petra says:

    Sadly the British state has demonstrated once again that it is not capable of running anything any more, the old cliché ‘s, piss up in a brewery and whelk stall spring to mind.

  91. 91
    Gandher says:

    Come on Iran , where’s that bomb ffs? No one is going to stop you . After nuking tel aviv can you please do London ?

  92. 92
    Immy says:

    And Oxford – for the sake of the children

  93. 93
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    there exists the “Tesco Price Promise” but I imagine that works on identifiable stuff like a lettuce or lamb or a tin of beans or something and doesn’t work on some hard to identify polish pickle or a dubious piece of chorizo.

  94. 94
    Beowulff says:

    Hypocrisy, thy name is Soshalism.

  95. 95
    Statin' the Bleedin' Obvious says:

    They do it ‘cos they get well paid for it.

  96. 96
    Achmed says:

    Silence! I kill you!

  97. 97
    Man from the street says:

    So if NASA stopped paying them would they still turn up for work?

  98. 98
  99. 99
    motherchuka says:

    I don’t want to shop with the trash.

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    why do we elect parasites?

  101. 101
    JH384230948023948 says:

    The others were too empty to bother.

    They were all out packed in to shitty 3-series, following schoolgirls down the road.

  102. 102
    Berger with lies says:

    Well, what a surprise. Newsnight is devoting its lead story to giving muslims airtime to say the grooming gangs are wrong and not permitted by islam.

    When will this wretched traitorous institution be abolished or privatised? The bbc is an enemy within.

  103. 103
    Vote B&P says:

  104. 104
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    They all piss in the same pot.

  105. 105
    Achmed the dead terrorist says:

  106. 106
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    did you never do a job because you wanted to do it and the money was of no concern ?

  107. 107
    fruitcake says:

    F**k*ng Tossco’s

    Fried the little brain that is East Devon Council with their flash and bling…and they’re party political blue…..well hell they’re a bunch of shit-to-a-blanket fuckwits…but sooooo rabbbit in the headlights fucking useless.

  108. 108
    Go tesco for the virgin outlet. says:

    brain also has 2 sides…looking wherever.
    but in any outlet beyond borders, there is the virginal way out. connected and detached.
    No amount of beheading can chop this bit and hence royalty make the journey to the heart of this nectar” island. connect to this spiral out point on the crown.

  109. 109
    mr jones says:

    Dont panic

  110. 110
    Just sayin says:

    Don’t you encourage the supposed trolling by constantly searching for it and then highlighting it.

  111. 111
    Tachybaptus says:

    With very few exceptions, only parasites aspire to be politicians and stand for election.

  112. 112
    Nelson from his death bed says:

    I’d like him to come have a photo taken with me before I die

  113. 113
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    The Stolen Innocence blog carries a lot of specialized and material of interest to those prepared to confront the worst in society.

    This is a large number of Labour related re-blogs today.

    I think something serious is soon to be coming out, and it is not going to be nice for those on the left.

  114. 114
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    All they need to do is splice together some old Danny Boyle shit, that’s depressing enough and should give the effect of a funeral.

    Pump a downbeat soundtrack maybe with a 13Hz binaural beat for some extra fear stirring, and stick some downbeat BBC mong on top to tell us how we should all be really unhappy, but love and understand the guys who ‘did’ this.

    Detuning the left / right channels to create a low frequency beat for the brain to interpret is one way of enhancing certain emotional responses made more easy when people are in a suggestible state, FYI.

  115. 115
    Jimmy says:

    Oh for heaven’s sake just ask him out. this is getting embarrassing.

  116. 116

    Stupid Old Moaning Earhole
    Blowing And Not Knowing Even Right Stuff
    Silly Hapless Onanistic Underling Linguistically Deficient
    Fuck All Content Evidenced
    Just Arrived In Law

  117. 117

    I have. But will he understand it?

  118. 118

    Furthermore, it is not to his credit that, without even knowing who I am, he should accuse me of criminal activities. So if he managed to get rid of all lawyers and judges, everyone would automatically be guilty of any allegation made against him/her, regardless of proof. You could just post something on a blog and that would be it. Prison without trial.

    If he got rid of all bankers, then there could be no banks. How are people going to trade and buy their necessities? Bitcoin? Swapping conkers, perhaps?

    BW would throw us back into some ghastly medieval time reminiscent of Vlad the Impaler, but with his humanity missing.

  119. 119
    Clive Dung says:

    You have given the game away!

    Spoiled all our fun…

  120. 120
    GCHQ Challenge for Mr. Schrödinger's cat says:

    Ok – here’s another from the other day to make up – not sure if anyone got it:

  121. 121

    Did reply before.

    When I realised you had not seen it, I sent a further response thus: CB4.

    Could have put
    1100 1011 0100

    Put us out of our misery…

  122. 122
    retype says:

    My attention was caught by the stannah stairlift ad, is the average age of the people who comment that old? Talking about things is brilliant, then what?

  123. 123

    @Just sayin

    At least two unwarranted presuppositions in that one short sentence, namely:

    1. supposed?

    2. constantly searching?

    Why should I sockpuppet myself so? Especially as I have been working and travelling extensively over the last month?

    If you see your own moniker filched, how can that be constantly searching? You are clearly very much more intelligent than I to draw these immensely unintuitive conclusions.

    I am just a simple cat.

  124. 124
    retype says:

    Sorry about a vaguely negative message for the first post I did, I think the key word to focus on at the moment is ‘morals’, challenge everything, every decision, every law, every court case, every statement, every announcement, and use the word morals and question everything, it’s undefeatable – it’s the strongest weapon, the strongest word in the english language. NO ONE will admit to being immoral. That’s better, more positive.

  125. 125
    GCHQ Challenge for Mr. Schrödinger's cat says:

    You got that it is hex numbers, and have probably had some fun translating them into binary / decimal to look for patterns.

    If converted into ASCII you would have seen a message and some other gobbledegook.

    The message here was not encrypted.

    The rest does have meaning though.

    Check out Intel 8086 op-codes.

    Now: On a Windows machine (might work on Intel Mac, not tried), put those hex numbers into a hex editor and save the file down.

    On windows the ‘debug’ app in command shell can be used, or pull down a hex editor off the web.

    Save as challenge.com and then run it. You should have the message printed.

    The op codes are two bytes representing a machine instruction. There is a program there, which will load the message into a register, display the message and then exit. There is some real garbage at the end which is ignored. There is a little unnecessary jumping as I could not be bothered to write the program properly.

    There was a real GCHQ challenge of this nature some months back with a larger program that implemented an MD4 encryption (I think) to translate a payload and print on the terminal to allow the would be contestant to proceed to the next stage.

    That was sussed fairly quickly, and the subsequent steps which were meant to involve some further crypto tricks in JavaScript with a web page were essentially hacked to pieces by the community, sort of rendering the challenge moot.

    Just an intellectual nicety in this case to reinforce the fact that numbers may mean messages, or actions. If you regard that particular Hex string as one very big number, which has an effect when passed through an 8086 processor things get interesting.

    How many other ‘numbers’ would display that message. If you generated a random number and put it through a processor, what is the probability that it would actually do something without crashing the core or being rejected.


  126. 126
    Diane FatBot says:

    Chuka bats for the other side – he used to go out on the pull down Canal Street – wonder where he gets his bum fun these days?

  127. 127
    Teresa May says:

    ‘Good people’ ? Yuk.

    Yankee go home

  128. 128
    A passing philosopher says:

    So, that is a good demonstration of the Turing machine at work on a modern microprocessor.

    The bigger question not quite posed by Hofstadter in his Eternal Golden Braid is, and an augmentation of Plato’s cave allegory and Descartes brain in a vat is thus.

    If human experience is truly confined to the brain which can be regarded as processor, and its inputs are restricted to the five familiar senses, could the mind also be regarded as a complex type of Turing machine where the combinations of those inputs through time combined with experience form what the person regards as themself, and others may regard as the soul.

    Or is there a spiritual soul above this material level ?

    More importantly, to what extent could the soul of the person be changed by modification of this input stream ?

    Are we only looking at shadows, or is there something else being projected through us as well ?

    Is it possible to discriminate and reliably filter as a defense ?

    Or is such a conjured model designed to unfairly focus on the material aspects of nature, and divorce from the spiritual ?

    The incompleteness theorem of Godel gives a glimpse into the reality which exists between the cracks in our ordered construct.

    It is possible to see into the sun if you look through the gaps in the cave wall.

  129. 129

    As always and as I have come to expect, you post a lot of good sense, which is most welcome.

    My high-level take on this is that over the last two decades, but especially from Clinton-Blair, the ethical standards of just about every walk of public life have been degraded to the point of non-existence.

    This has gone on long enough for many who are currently in work never to have experienced any other way. Worse still, it has been missing in schools for even longer, perhaps back to the 1970s. Anyone under 50 years old will have learned ethics either by having conscientious parents, exceptionally rare teachers or perhaps self study, assuming they did not cover the subject in the much derided PPE.

    Most of the rest will only have a Plato’s cave view at best or no view at worst. BW appears to fall into this category. He is right to criticise some in the legal profession. But that is such a limited part of life, especially if confined to criminal law.

    The degradation I referred to has been apparent in the following areas:
    MPs, Governments, Treasury, BoE, Regulators, Civil Service, Quangos, Police, Security Services, Courts, Legal Profession, The BBC, Press, Data Industry, Banks, Insurers, HMRC, Organised Religions, Transport, Energy, Petrochemicals, Food Manufacturers, Munitions Industry and so on. It is hard to find an area where total collapse in ethical standards has not occurred, HM the Queen would be one.

    The problem is that there is almost no one left who knows what it was like before. If they have any sense, they will have got out of it.

    We lurch from one crisis to the next with no one understanding why. We show every sign of repeating all these mistakes but with a quicker turn-round. It is calamitous.

    Now, having presented what I see as the problem (and I appreciate you may differ on timings and areas of specific focus), what are we to do? People are heartily sick of the situation but I still do not sense that there is huge appetite for the drastic pruning and re-education which must take place even to get to a half-acceptable situation. Until that happens, we merely fiddle with the deckchairs on the Titanic, not even managing a re-arrangement of them.

  130. 130
    Fogey Watch says:

    The ads are targeted to the individual reader.

  131. 131

    @A passing philosopher

    Two references to Plato’s cave within three minutes! Are we communicating by other means?

    Hawkings recently declared, at Google’s Zeitgeist Conference, that philosophy was dead. As he is downright wrong, I have rewarded him by putting forward an entry on Hugh Mellor’s Causes of death of philosophers page here:


    Hugh trumped my offering of Ran out of Space. The man is too clever by half!

    But, for my money, David Deutsch has got closest with his Fabric of Reality which satisfies me to about 75%. But even here, he has missed the metaphysical where he is weakest on knowledge (he is very strong on most of the other stuff.) That is the remaining work for philosophy and gives a possible clue to an answer for your question about soul but we are some thousands of years off, I fear.

    @GCHQ Challenge for Mr. Schrödinger’s cat

    Why is my computer telling me that my Master boot record has been deleted? ;-)

  132. 132
    Tachybaptus says:

    Canal Street seems to have changed. This is the old New Orleans version:

    Walking down Canal Street,
    Knocked on every door,
    Goddamn son of a bitch!
    Couldn’t find a whore.

    Finally found a whore,
    She was tall and thin,
    Goddamn son of a bitch!
    Couldn’t get it in.

    Finally got it in,
    Worked it all about,
    Goddamn son of a bitch!
    Couldn’t get it out.

    Finally got it out,
    It was red and sore,
    Goddamn son of a bitch!
    Don’t fuck New Orleans whores.


    Two weeks later,
    Couldn’t take a piss,
    Goddamn son of a bitch!
    She gave me syphilis.

    Went to the doctor,
    To ask about the sores,
    He said, ‘You stupid bastard,
    Don’t fuck New Orleans whores.’

  133. 133
    Tachybaptus says:

    You should stop Master Booting, it will make you go blind.

  134. 134

    Don’t worry, Tachy!

    I’ve got that problem sussed. I stopped when I found I had to wear glasses.

  135. 135
    Piccy Editor says:

    … and what about Rothschild’s mentor?

  136. 136
    Piccy Editor says:

    It would be really nice if you stopped posting too.

  137. 137
    Piccy Editor says:

    I think somebody stole your comma before ‘people’.

  138. 138
    Yer nawmal tesko shoppa says:

    Oldies are usually OK, but it is these bloody hair-rollered, headscarfed fat, loaded-up trolley-pushing females who stop in the middle of the busiest aisles for a prolonged chinwag that get on my tits. A lot of them dr”ve like they push trollies too. Shouldn’t be allowed out with a pushchair.

  139. 139
    Divi Dend says:

    Banned at the co-op were you?

  140. 140
    Goatee says:

    Your kidding, shirley!

  141. 141
    Public view says:

    I suspect we’d all be much happier watching the funerals of the bustards who killed him.

  142. 142
    Curly says:

    Has the monument to the perpetrators been unveiled at the Woolwich mosque yet?

  143. 143
    Curly says:

    Probably (mad cow) herd mentality

  144. 144
    Curly says:

    An Uncle Tom then?

  145. 145
    Curly says:

    But only snakes know how to change their skin…

  146. 146
    Curly says:


  147. 147
    The Mufti of Mitcham says:

    No no JH. Since our bennies were increased, we have all upgraded to 5’s now. A bit more legroom – if you know what I mean.

  148. 148
    The Mufti of Mitcham says:

    Bit like your beloved Vince then. 6 months as a teaboy at Shell does not really improve his CV.

  149. 149
    The EU has failed says:

    Just waiting to hear that Chuka is flying to South Africa to pay homage to Mandela and not for a photo opportunity at all. Oh no that would be trashy.

  150. 150
    The Mufti of Mitcham's 5 year old granddaughter says:


  151. 151
    The Mufti of Mitcham's 5 year old granddaughter says:

    Fieryfoxy woth adblock activated stops all that waste of bandwidth at source.

    Try it and see.

  152. 152
    The Mufti of Mitcham says:

    *with (her spelling is coming along just fine though otherwise..)

  153. 153
    albacore says:

    But have not false values been deeply implanted
    Contrary to those always taken for granted?
    Having faced down nuclear annihilation
    The British just let Heath give away the nation
    With hardly a whimper, let alone a shot fired
    And, lo and behold, but it thereafter transpired
    That being British depended on nothing more
    Than flooding in in millions through an open door
    Deliberate sapping and not failed tuition
    With malice aforethought caused moral perdition
    Do you reckon that smashing the LibLabCon trick
    Might start the renaissance with a bloody good kick?

  154. 154
    Sit Petra says:

    Well his brother has just flown to South Africa, and that after he said: “I don’t need a photo op”, Hmmm!.

  155. 155
    ken says:

    like dave and gideon and duncanshit and shapps and may and danny then

  156. 156
    ken says:

    you just gotta larf ain’t ya?
    woman in her fifties with a rancorous daughter. Shout at neighbours,constantly write to local paper, put big flags (20ft by 20ft) above their front door, have sign on gate saying ‘don’t think about parking here’, claim they own half the road they live on (they don’t harangue passers by regularly – guess what?
    she supports and votes ukip
    gotta luv ‘em ain’t ya
    ukip are turds

  157. 157
    mad, swivel-eyed loon says:

    Plus Cambridge and Islington, oh and Hackney.

  158. 158

    I seem to have been reading albacore
    Right from the very days of yore
    Setting his arguments better not worse
    Into the very confines of verse
    So we remember back to seventy three
    When the club was called the EEC
    An economic zone which made much sense
    And did away with the border fence
    Tariffs were found to support bad acts
    Competition brought people together with facts
    People thought a good deal could not be won
    But Margaret Thatcher showed it could be done
    Twenty years after the rot set in
    The Maastricht Treaty let the blighters in
    We who the Community Law knew
    Noticed the EEC had become the EU
    In 2009 all that land down to Sounion
    Had then become part of the European Union
    Those pesky Unions which Maggie had quelled
    Became a place where corruption excelled
    Instead of becoming a new Land of the Free
    The last thing observed is Democracy
    Politicos overpaid and over-reimbursed
    Bend every sinew to ensure matters are worse.
    In the light of this, my dear albacore
    We must surely show these people the door.

  159. 159
    Ranter says:

    I’m really enjoying John Humphries’ broadcasts from ‘Glasto’…………WTF?

  160. 160
    Chukka Umunna says:

    He’s always the best looking you mean.

  161. 161
    Spouting MSM cliches says:

    Lawyers had self regulation taken away by the Blair terror. Too much danger of exposure for the saintly one for it to go on.MSM think it is still going because MSM still think we live in the 1950s when every profession had self reg.

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    What a wonderful contribution to the discussion that was, thank you.

  163. 163
    Billy Boy says:

    An an–B and queues on a Wednesday.

  164. 164
    Billy Boy says:

    B and Queues is choco-Block, with baby boombers– come Wednesday.

  165. 165
    Niles Cooke says:

    You didn’t get it did you: Chuka has many faces, ergo more than one personality = he’s good `people’. Got it now?

  166. 166
    Niles Cooke says:

    My lefty friend claims Chuka is very generous to his inferiors, I replied, ”I wouldn’t have thought he could find any”?

  167. 167
    Sir William Waad says:

    Hatred of Tesco is part of our traditional British dislike of Things That Really Work. This must be the only country in which the word ‘efficient’ is used pejoratively.

  168. 168
    Sir William Waad says:

    Did you join the Club?

  169. 169
    Niles Cooke says:

    I was being facetious (though obviously not very clear). Chuka has many faces, he’s anyone/everyone that anyone/everyone wants him to be; multi-faced, ergo he’s good ‘people’, a play on his (convenient) multiple political personalities.

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    Their doing it so that they can get out to F

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    @ cat 7.25:
    Wonderful stuff.

    You’re a poet
    and you don’t know it.

    If I were sniffing it like a posh wine, I would say it has undertones of Lear, Lewis, maybe a little Eliot, and just a soupçon of Yeats.

  172. 172
    Norman Tebbit says:

    Chuka is a whore – he will do anything for money – just ask Unite.

    And he’s had more men than the grand old duke of york.

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