June 26th, 2013

News International Rebrands as News UK


  1. 1
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Can’t we hate the UK?

  2. 2
    Dirty Digger does it again says:

    I hate England

    I will sell off this shower of shit

    There will be no staff left at the Times and the Sun

    You are all warned

  3. 3
    Ed Miliband says:

    One Nation is my idea.

  4. 4
    Wag says:

    I think he should rename it Redemption News

    After all, Uncle Rupie is in Redemption Mode…

  5. 5
    Mr A Salmond. says:

    The Dirty Digger will have to rebrand again next year.

  6. 6
    Grrr says:

    Should be called

    The non-Champaign Socialist Corp

  7. 7
    Decline and Fall says:

    O/T I came across this on wiki recently Guido

    Edward Gibbon

    “According to Gibbon, the Roman Empire succumbed to barbarian invasions in large part due to the gradual loss of civic virtue among its citizens.[9] They had become weak, outsourcing their duties to defend their Empire to barbarian mercenaries, who then became so numerous and ingrained that they were able to take over the Empire. Romans, he believed, had become effeminate, unwilling to live a tougher, “manly” military lifestyle.”

    Says it all really, bar the shouting…

  8. 8
    Go to the pound shop Tom says:

  9. 9
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Anagrams to Kunews.

    Which reminds me, what is the status of Page 3 now? Are we still focussing on the headlights or going downmarket a short distance?

  10. 10
    Putin for PM says:

    Delicious. Putin is running rings around Obamarama, the EUSSR and Billy Hague.


  11. 11
    Putin for PM says:

    Delicious. Putin is running rings around Obamarama, the EUSSR and B1lly Hague.


  12. 12
    Hugh Janus says:

    New Suk. Interesting name….

  13. 13
    the poor bloody tax-payer says:

    News YUK

  14. 14
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Once a Council house, always a Council house.

    Once a worldwide media organization, always a …………….

  15. 15

    Champagning for Social Justice?

    Thought that was the established Labour mantra.

  16. 16
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    I agree completely.

  17. 17
    bergen says:

    The Consignia of Fleeet Street.

  18. 18
    Lost in Clacton says:

    Can a leopard change its spots?

  19. 19
    Empty Ed says:

    Juthtine and Mithter Jay have told me to have Elocuthon lessons, Guido

    They tell me Mitthese Thathcer did…

  20. 20
    albacore says:

    Osborne’s about to outline some future cuts
    Out with ticky tack houses, in with mud huts
    Making the majority population
    Feel more at home and aiding integration

  21. 21
    Pdubya says:

    I personally was hopeful that Rupe would kick off with a Fox News UK version on our screens as it seems the BBC disease has seriously infected Sky News to the extent that I cannot tell the differnce between either of them when it comes to bashing the government, eulogising the Layabout Party and giving a running commentary ( which i can only describe as Death watch) on a 94 year old South African who has had a good innings but frankly does not mean much to me nor many others in this country.

  22. 22
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    Will we soon see a number of major legal firms undertake a similar rebranding?

    Thought not

  23. 23
    Financial adviser says:

    You will need to find an Oligarch to buy this lot, Digger

    Even the Banks won’t do an IPO for you…

  24. 24
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    Why do you need an iphone 5? Would a 4S not have done? Its much cheaper. Still its not your money you are wasting is it Tom?

  25. 25
    Midsummer Madness says:

    Just ‘cos a dung-beetle adopts the name “Gloria”, does that change its essential nature?

  26. 26
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    I prefer illumination

  27. 27
    bald old git says:


  28. 28
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    ….but theres nothing like a good pair of gills to turn a guy on

  29. 29
    Brian Leveson says:

    Of course not.

    This is a very silly none story.

    The sooner we sort out Brooks and Coulson, Tommy Sheridan, Rolf Harris ,Jim Davidson, Dave lee Travis, Andrew Mitchell, Nigel Evans ,Max Clifford then the sooner we can start Part Two of my Enquiry.

  30. 30

    Just imagine what state Neo must be in at the moment:

    *Hair all over the place making Boris appear kemp by comparison
    * Unshaven
    * Unwashed
    * Looking bleary-eyed at the screen and cursing the boss for being away and ruining his beauty sleep regime
    * Mouth like the bottom of a parrot’s cage
    * Thinking how unreasonably early it is and whether to have a coffee or the hair of the dog that bit him
    * Probably has no underpants on [Halt! No more purlease!!]

  31. 31
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    but by calling itself Gloria it may be showing that it wants to change. Especially if its former name was Cedric

  32. 32
    Billionairess Wendi says:

    Quite right

    News Corp is shit

    Fox is shit

    London’s shit

  33. 33
    Lawyers promoting crime LLC says:


    We are on the wanted list, along with the bluechips…

    Oh shyt, someone is going to publish it

  34. 34
    Trevor from Treherbet says:

    You have very conveniently forgotten all about Denis McShane, Hazel Blears, Keith Vaz and Gordon Brown to name just four, Boyo.

  35. 35
    Cornish Pilchard says:

    More consiglieri surely

  36. 36
    Loopy Lou LLB (Hons) says:

    Sod Legal Aid !

  37. 37
    Blazin Squad says:

    Ian Brady says what he did was not as bad as Blair and other politicians. Whilst Blair IS a sack of vomit, it’s funny how Brady, with his “west have invaded other countries for 300 years” rant, has ended up sounding like a SWP or Stop The War leftie.

  38. 38
    q says:

    if there’s any of you left here who can read and understand, check this out


    it will clarify who are the liars and who are those put upon by the liars

  39. 39
    Owen Jones says:


    GOLD 1,235.00 -39.80 -3.12%

  40. 40
    Scotch on the Rocks says:

    What will the Jockless UK be called?

  41. 41
    Vlad the Punker says:

    I told you I love punking you all

    Mr Snowden is in the transit lounge at Moscow airport giving me all the secrets of the NSA that he did not give to my friend President Xi

    I never thought the Americans were as stupid as that

    ROFL of the Kremlin Red Carpet

    You are all decadent hypocrites

    PS Mr Xi and I have decided to quietly take over the world while you are all fighting each other stealing from each other and callling us any names you can find

  42. 42
    GCHQ alias NSA says:

    We will lend you the cable we use to listen to your conversations, Tommy

    Free of charge…

  43. 43
    Eddy says:

    Only Mr Jay…

    When he takes a shave, watch out…

  44. 44
    Janeesh (LLB Bombay, failed) says:

    I am an unpaid intern in a very posh solicitors firm

    I spend my life classifying tapes of private conversations

    Is it legal?

  45. 45
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Are you going to hang yourself Watson, if so you will need something a lot stronger.

  46. 46
    Lord Stansted says:

    Gibbon was wrong. The fall of the Roman empire was more to do with the demise of trade and the conseqence inability of the Emperor to raises sufficient taxes. The wealthy withdrew from the cities to their estates. Rome had always been an inclusive empire, in the same way as the British empire – so barbarians had always been welcomed. T

  47. 47
    Ah! Monika reformed says:

    Shit’s shit.

  48. 48
    Northern Hordes says:

    Wonder if there will be machine gun towers at Gretna stopping the Scotch from fleeing to the South?

  49. 49
    Lord Farridge of Man says:

    Did the whining start when the brits painted themselves blue and ran around naked after Davick Cameregg won the election?

  50. 50
    Ah! Monika reformed says:

    Leveson Part II

    The Outcome

    Long grass on the top shelf

    Carry on MET

  51. 51
    Hampstead hedge fund manager says:

    I’ve lost it all

    And they said I was the wonder boy of finance…

  52. 52
    Ah! Monika reformed says:

    We want the Scotch not the Scottish.

  53. 53
    Ah! Monika reformed says:


  54. 54
  55. 55
    Jeffrey "George" Osborne says:

    Plug it into your fat arse and get better reception

  56. 56
    Chilcot says:

    Is that you, Brian?


    It’s the new danse in town…our brother Chuka danses it all night long, I’m told …

  57. 57
    Gordon says:

    Buy, buy, bye.

  58. 58
    La Belle Francoise says:

    Us knew !!

  59. 59
  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    no shit

  61. 61
    UKIP or bust says:

    His solicitor on a seemingly endless C4 news interview said he feels that the families of the victims must be going through hell with all the coverage, whilst Cathy Newman was nodding in agreement.

    Well don’t put the cnut’s fucking appeal on the news every fucking night. If they didn’t report every little in and out of the non-event the family, or anyone else, wouldn’t know it was happening.

    Then if you must indulge in ghoulish muck raking just report the bare facts of the outcome when it’s over.

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    Now, who was in number 10 around 15 years ago?
    Cherie and Tony perhaps?

  63. 63
    Joe says:


  64. 64

    Moment, only bad news sells newspapers. Latest rebrand-Bad News UK-innit?

  65. 65
    Mrs Edwina Balls says:

    ‘Which will upset the haters…’

    Oh yes, always upset by pathetically cosmetic changes, like Labour calling itself ‘New Labour’.

  66. 66
    Living in 97.2% white Merseyside says:

    Change of title means nothing. We still won’t buy the Current Bun.

  67. 67

    How is News UK pronounced?
         New Suck
         ‘n You Suck
    or, as the Sun’s new editor has a pronounced Scotch accent, is it
         New Sick?

  68. 68

    Only Aussies and Jocks are allowed to dominate media. It’s a long established rule that I support 100%

  69. 69
    Jimmy says:

    I believe it’s know as the Sellafield Gambit.

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    News Utter Hunt’s

  71. 71
    Ozziemandayarse says:

    Wonder if the new company will continue the old company’s tradition of nor paying any UK taxes?

  72. 72
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    “reflect Murdoch’s “ongoing commitment” to the UK.” Hmm. he has in the past a good way of showing it with his organisation, what with phone hacking, bribery to high officials (though granted not personally), generally wielding his influence and power to get what he wants. By the way how is your new office in Murdoch Towers, Wapping, Geedo, have they invited you on to one of the page 3 shoots?

  73. 73
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Could it be that the plebeian class became as effete is the ruling class the patricians, or did the merchant class become too powerful and greedy

  74. 74
    Keitho says:

    You don’t know shit.

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