June 24th, 2013

Rich’s Monday Morning View


184 Comments

  1. 1
    Jeffrey "George" Osborne says:

    Release those poor little sardines from their dreadful tines

    Like

    • 8
      Geoffrey George Brooking says:

      Nobody is safe.

      Now I’m after your free bus pass and winter fuel allowance.

      Like

    • 47
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      I think this much better Grubers little tank

      Like

      • 67
        Old Blind Pugh says:

        One day someone is going to write a comedy of the past 15 years political landscape, with glorious titles as
        Clang clang
        The Deceivers
        Toodle Pip, What What
        Oh! What a Lovely Cockup
        Jobbies for All (especially for my chums)
        the list could just go on and on, at the present time it does not seem so funny especially if you are on the receiving end of cuts, but of course not everyone is feeling the pinch of falling incomes and rising prices, the RPI is a farce, airplane fares are included in them, everyday items are going up much faster than things such as plasma tvs (an item we can easily live without)

        Like

        • 122
          Point of Information says:

          Or, ‘The Thick of It’ ?

          Like

        • 136
          Mayor 'Diamond Bo' Johnson says:

          Give me strength. Of course everyday items go up in price faster than plasma tvs. Any (relatively) recent technology comes down in price as manufacturing is fine tuned and adoption increases volumes. The only exception to this rule is Apple products.

          Like

          • plants do maths. says:

            .
            .
            the maths in apple shops is instant.
            even before you have a desire they have priced it.

            Like

    • 72
      John Donne says:

      Never send to ask for whom the bell tolls.
      It tolls for this cartoone.

      Like

  2. 2
    Madiba says:

    That’s so unfunny, I’ve got nothing left to live for.

    Like

    • 4
      Anonymous says:

      Hamba gahle tata:at least you will be in better place without Rich & Mark

      Like

      • 141
        Mayor 'Diamond Bo' Johnson says:

        If only Al Quaeda would target Rich and Mark they could achieve overnight popularity – and R&M could be put in a more suitable (if not better) place.

        Like

    • 121
      Witty Moniker says:

      Yeah, I don’t get it.

      Why is Leonid Brezhnev pointing his tank at the old Jewish guy?

      Like

      • 144
        Mayor 'Diamond Bo' Johnson says:

        You just never know when an old Jewish guy is a member of MOSSAD. I adopt the same precaution when I meet the Chief Rabbi.

        Like

      • 180
        Osama the Nazarene says:

        Oy Diamond, they’ve already removed Mark in case you hadn’t noticed.

        Like

  3. 3
    Lord Farridge of Man says:

    tins

    Like

  4. 5
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Who ARE those people? What’s Brezhnev doing in a tank down in Whitehall?

    Like

    • 27
      Jeffrey "George" Osborne says:

      Visiting Mili Minor to er discuss the import of sardines

      Like

    • 99
      Russian oligarch (you know the rest) says:

      I’m just doing a test run down Whitehall

      I’ve bought everything and everyone else in London

      Like

  5. 6
    Detective says:

    See post 384 of previous.

    Are Cat and Guido one and the same?

    Like

    • 20

      Neither of us is the other. I think he will not mind me speaking for him in this circumstance.

      That comment was a wind-up to our host and anticipated the poverty of the impending cartoon and the usual inability to identify its subjects.

      I thought it was quite prescient but, after five years of looking at these things, they may just be a pattern setting in.

      Like

    • 49
      Maqboul says:

      Try again, Sherlock.

      Like

  6. 7
    Owen Jones says:

    Continuous farting for six years and nine months would create energy equal to that of an atomic bomb.

    Like

  7. 9
    Paniagua v5 says:

    I think we need Edward Snomden to tell us who these people are.

    It looks highly classified I.e. like it should be somewhere amongst the other classifieds in the back pages of a local paper.

    Like

  8. 11
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    China’s Stocks Tumble, Sending CSI 300 Index Toward Bear Market.

    Oy Vey indeed.

    Stand by for “Black Monday” in the markets.

    Like

    • 37
      Ed Balls,Chancellor Of The Exchequer says:

      It’s so obvious that The Peoples Assembly are selling off their holdings of gold again.

      GOLD 1,277.40 -14.20 -1.10%

      Like

      • 43
        Gordon.B says:

        Im keeping a close eye on things

        Like

        • 46
          Ed Balls,Chancellor Of The Exchequer says:

          We now have a total wipeout of the FTSE as reported by Bloomberg

          FTSE 100 0.00 -6,116.17 -100.00%

          Like

      • 127
        Point of Information says:

        I would be more concerned about possible defaults on Comex deliveries.

        It’s coming up to June delivery date this week.

        Like

    • 104
      Lizards Incorporated says:

      It’s worked like a charm

      Like the gold market

      We’ll have great holidays in Montenegro counting the cash with the Mob

      Like

  9. 12
    Abu Derby says:

    Hey Oz, can you give me a lift to the local mosque?

    Like

  10. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Why is Alastair Burnett driving the tank? And – call me old fashioned – shouldn’t a cartoon be funny?

    Like

  11. 14
    'Call me Dave' Dave says:

    Everything in England’s totally crap, isn’t it? I hope the next lot can sort it out, it’s beyond me!

    Like

    • 44
      Ian Bunghole Smut says:

      Oh, I don’t know. Wonderful hospitals, racially diverse sex gangs, charming patriots monotoring my every move on the computer. It is certainly better than the EU!

      Vote Ukip for change that you can believe in

      Like

      • 53
        Far ages kf says:

        And let Millitwat into No10 through the back door

        Like

        • 59
          Vote UKIP says:

          Millitwat — Camercnut — Nickelarse — What’s the difference? They’re all spendthrift politically correct LabLibConner failures.

          Like

        • 88
          Man from the street says:

          500,000 in under Cameron last year.

          Labour = Pro-mass immigration, pro EU.

          Tories = Pro-mass immigration, pro EU.

          Like

      • 164
        Mayor 'Diamond Bo' Johnson says:

        By change you mean another bunch of tossers who end up in prison for fraud (Wise, Mote etc) and whose leader is up to his knackers in tax avoidance schemes?

        Like

        • 173
          Vote Ukip for change that you can believe in? says:

          My point exactly. In the words of that great philosopher and grumpy malcontent Pete Townsend – welcome the new boss, just like the old boss.

          Or, for BoJo, via Googl.e:

          Accipiunt novum bulla, sicut vetus bulla!

          Like

  12. 15
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    So Rich and Mark are back together again?

    Like

    • 24

      Have you considered the possibility that they are actually our host’s daughters? In which case we should not be too unkind.

      Like

      • 36
        Vision on says:

        Nah children draw better than that

        Like

      • 165
        Anonymous says:

        You will be cast into outer darkness. Guido believes any mention of his little darlings is punishable by exile (despite his repeated targetting of other peoples families). I recommend posting such comments on Zelo Street where they appear to welcome lots of personal details on Guido.

        Like

  13. 16
    Just Saying. says:

    Hold the front page of the Gruniard.
    Labour are now asking for an official enquiry into their handling of police when they were IN POWER during the Lawrence affair.
    Who said education gives you wisdom? Nobody.

    Like

    • 25
      Bob Fleming says:

      Am I the only one who is sick to death about hearing of this particular family?

      Like

      • 28
        The entire uncoloured popuation of the UK says:

        probably not.

        Like

      • 38
        polythesis says:

        No you are not, there are millions like you who are also sick of the constant moaning and whining of the left. Muck raking exploitation of a murder and the political exploitation of a tragedy. It must be that the gaggle of ambulance chasing lawyers and the victimhood industry that gather around such cases have been searching for a way of reviving this golden goose.

        Like

        • 50
          McCann of Pilchards says:

          I get fed up with the MCanns whimpering all over the TVs and getting millions. Should have stayed with kids instead of going on the piss. Close by my arse they were across the other side of the complex FFS.

          Like

      • 40
        Don't mention the NHS under Labour says:

        It was 1993 . Labour not quite as stupid but its Burnham demanding the enqury as this will ensure that it takes the heat of all the killing in the NHS.

        Yvette the pixie says this is horrific , yeah well so is the NHS in your hands love so fuck off.

        Like

      • 102
        Anon E Mouse says:

        No. Leave her alone! Her appearance last year carrying the olympic flag confirms she’s well on the way to sainthood.

        Like

      • 177
        Howzat1932 says:

        I only hope in 20 years time we still persue the hateful people who killed our poor soldier or is the perpetrator of a different type of killer which allows us to forget.

        Like

      • 183
        Quantrill says:

        New roller needed no doubt

        Like

    • 48
      bergen says:

      The first 45 minutes of R4 Today was a agitprop frenzy-the Lawrence matter, a most bizarre interview with the mother of the Boston bomber in Daghestan (no question of guilt), needless to say “the cuts”, evil NHS reforms etc. As ever,I depart for work thinking things can’t get worse.

      Like

      • 52
        Anonymous says:

        Top two stories on BBC, Mandela and Lawrence
        They must be in heaven this morning

        Like

        • 74
          The BBC getting ready for national mourning says:

          BREAKING

          BBC preparing to clear all their schedules for coming week.

          Like

          • Reuters says:

            All your senior staff arrested then?

            Like

          • BBC double standards says:

            I assume black ties will be optional for news readers?

            Like

          • A grudge is where a South African keeps his car says:

            They have already had an enquiry about why Nelson’s ambulance broke down on the way to hospital in Johannesburg. It transpires that his ex wife Winny had “borrowed” one of the tyres and all of the petrol to question a local supporter.

            Like

        • 90
          Bob Fleming says:

          Note to BBC: Mandela was indeed a remakable man, both good and bad, but your average TVtax-paying Brit doesn’t give a fcuk, so please move on

          Like

        • 95
          Cross Purposes says:

          No, Mandela will be joining him shortly.

          Like

      • 105
        Cardinal Biggles says:

        I haven’t listened to Toady since the days of Brian Redhead. I gave up when it got all earnest and ‘lefty’ on his watch – though he was a good interviewer. I keep up to date with how this ‘flagship’ programme is progressing by reading the irate and often foam flecked comments on this blog.

        Bring back Jack de Manio! It was a much better programme then, though you were never sure what the time was.

        Like

    • 168
      plants do maths. says:

      hug a tree and learn.
      .
      ..
      lawrence was a character in tinker tailor.
      who was the tailor’s arabic tutor.
      ..
      madeline sounds like rosaline.
      .
      are all chracters precision designed.

      Like

  14. 17
    Burnham and Balls a right pair of lying twats says:

    I have no immediate recollection of anything about watering down critical reports on the NHS (safe in their hands)

    I don’t think there is any evidence to support that we blew every penny and destroyed the uk economy ( again)

    Like

    • 100
      Tom Catesby says:

      Has anybody else noticed that among the political whore class, failure to recollect (a la Vince Cable et al) seems to have become the new lying.

      Like

    • 179
      filipinomonkey says:

      Andy Burnham, and he wanted to be the supreme leader, scarey.

      Whelk stall anybody?

      Like

  15. 18
    a non says:

    Rich and ‘Mark’ ?
    The infamous twosome together again?
    I was hoping after Mark’s sabbatical he would have returned invigorated, with at least some added oomph to win over the cartoon sceptics here, but no.
    Same old ,same old.
    I must assume they are disappointed at their lack of actual humour in the teamwork cartoon themselves– no mention of selling it on Ebay this time around.

    Like

  16. 26
    on lette shor says:

    Looks like Richard Nixon against Patrick Stewart

    Like

  17. 29
    Abu Quatada says:

    I’m still here you know

    Like

  18. 30
    Met Office says:

    C*ck! Why is the weather lovely on a Monday after raining all weekend?

    Like

  19. 33
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    I have never met anyone call Osbourne.

    Like

  20. 39
    whosWho? says:

    is the one in the tank Ronnie Reagan?

    Like

  21. 51
    pdubya says:

    Could someone tell the talentless twosome that Ed Balls should be laying under the Tank and not driving it. I do not recognise the other bod so am making a wild arsed guess that it’s his union controller.

    Like

    • 58
      MI5 says:

      Eb Balls is proud to announce that he enjoys living off his Coop 50 grand while the pensioners get ripped off because of Labour

      Like

      • 169
        plants do maths. says:

        why do pensioners always get ripped.
        .they used their pen all their life.
        .
        why does chill.ax sound like chall.ax…..which means lets go axe, time for some.
        .
        .
        yo is y not. just like mutilation is modification.
        ……………………………

        Like

  22. 55
    Ed Pilchards Miliband says:

    Slapping VAT on Pilchards canned in tomato sauce is a disgrace,

    It’s a Sardine tax.

    Like

  23. 56
    Sammy says:

    Hey Borris — are we still injuncted?

    Like

  24. 57
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    please can this diagram have labels so we can have a chance of understanding it.

    Like

    • 170
      plants do maths. says:

      diaphram.
      the missing g has a purpose?
      .
      why is there so much focus on breast milk.
      plants bleed too.

      Like

  25. 60
    Empty Ed says:

    I am playing with ducks and thardines in my bath this morning

    Justine or Mr Jay will take any rude calls

    Like

  26. 61
    Sir William Waad says:

    I can see it’s Alan Greenspan on the left but who is the other one meant to be?

    Like

  27. 62
    Why wait 20 years to raise this says:

    Why has this guy waited since 1993 to raise this in regard to Stephen Lawrence. It should have come out long before?

    When is Ed Milliband going to jump on this passing sardine wagon

    Like

    • 97
      Dynamic Dave says:

      It’s this week’s distraction to keep the media off LabLibConner fuckups.

      Like

    • 184
      Quantrill says:

      Raise the SL issue yet again, its the left’s justification to the horrific murder of Drummer Rigsby.

      Like

  28. 63
    albacore says:

    It’s time our tanks rolled into Parliament Square
    And exterminated the rats ensconced there
    Out of all the threats this nation has faced yet
    The most virulent is that LibLabCon set

    Like

    • 100
      Mother Nature says:

      Tanks make such a mess. I’m busy mutating a nice new virus to sort all you human parasites out, a far better solution to the Earth’s problems.

      Like

  29. 64
    Eric Milibona says:

    “When seagulls follow the trawler it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea,”

    Like

    • 138
      Point of Information says:

      So with Ed’s new policy idea, the electoral commission should moving forward be very wary of Labour postal votes cast by ‘A. Seagull’

      Like

  30. 65
    Romany Blythe's saggy left tit says:

    Piers Morgan in a tank versus Star Trek Ds9’s ferengi Grand Negus Zek.

    Like

  31. 69
    Ed Miliband says:

    I love the smell of Sardine in the morning

    Like

    • 109
      Harley Street specialist says:

      I’m glad the nose job worked Eddy

      I will do a tongue job to make you speak some sense, if you want

      Like

      • 163
        A vulcan doesn't have pointy ears, Jim- it has a pointy nose says:

        I love the smell of Avgas in the morning – it smells like V Bombers.

        Like

  32. 71
    Ed Miliband says:

    But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my sardine go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

    Like

  33. 73
    Power crazed Bollocks says:

    It it all flat lines

    I see no evidence to the contrary

    Like

  34. 76
    Rich finds his Mark says:

    Are congratulations in order? After many weeks of Just Rich, Mark is back.

    Is Rich a transsexual or something as he certainly buys a lot of the Ladies’ clothes on ebay.

    http://feedback.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=richiejohnston&ftab=AllFeedback&myworld=true

    Like

  35. 77
    Mr Bone says:

    Mrs Bone is happy this morning

    Like

  36. 79
    Ripped off customer says:

    Good God

    That’s my bank manager in the tank

    Like

  37. 83
    GCHQ says:

    The Actress recently said to Ed Balls

    Deeper and faster, Eddy, oh yes

    Like

  38. 111
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    That’s Murdoch in the tank and Leveson standing, or it’s Chilcot in the tank hiding from Blair’s hitmen, or it’s Hogan-Howe in the tank hiding away from Andrew Mitchell, or they are both someone else unless they aren’t.

    Like

  39. 112
    Ah! Monika reformed says:

    Latest:

    Nelson Mandela is praying for John Prescott and Chuka Umunna.

    Like

  40. 123
    Owen"Austerity" Jones says:

    Austerity is here to stay and I’m starting to like it.

    The Peoples Assembly and myself like it.

    Another crate of Bollinger champagne please,old boy.

    Like

  41. 125
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Before Cameron sets up an investigation into the latest Stephen Lawrence allegations, could we have the results of the Chilcot Inquiry and the Andrew Mitchell “plebgate” inquiry.
    How can we have confidence in another inquiry when the above two are taking so long. Any further inquiries should have a date set for the report to be issued.
    The people of the UK demand results not excuses.

    Like

    • 130
      ? says:

      Would it be fair to ask the hue of the person making the claim?

      Like

      • 134
        i don't n eed no doctor says:

        Why not as any investigation should not be coloured by bias.
        Methinks Jack Straw protests too quickly.

        Like

    • 137
      nellnewman says:

      I do just wonder whether cameron is playing the long game over chilcot and delaying it until just before the next election because he knows the findings are bad for bliar and brown.

      Like

      • 153
        Realpolitik says:

        You may be on to something Nell.

        The revelations in that report, which Cameron will have knowledge of, will prove more damaging to Labour’s election campaign the later they are published approaching 2015.

        Assuming Cameron is playing a waiting game it would make sense. Not publishing would allow all sorts of useful spin / speculative propaganda to be put out as well.

        If he isn’t playing a waiting game – what have Labour got on him or senior figures in his cabinet / the party ? There we may be back to child abuse.

        Like

    • 149
      Point of Information says:

      And should not forget: Yewtree, Fernbridge, Fairbanks, re-opening of Jilling’s / Waterhouse etc. etc. etc.

      Tragic what happened to Lawrence, but the family has cashed in enough and in any case they are communists.

      Child sex abuse, war crimes and anything off the radar re: Expenses fraud should come ahead of already resolved murder cases.

      Aren’t the Woolwich terror mongs up before the beak again soon ?

      Like

  42. 128
    A Deloitter says:

    I see green shoots

    Like I saw the banking collapse

    We were the bank’s auditors after all

    Like

    • 129
      Ratings Agency manager (now retired in Monte Carlo) says:

      We foresaw eveyytning as well

      Or is it that we created the collapse?

      Like

  43. 139
    Why is Abbott not Surprised? says:

    Like

    • 146
      Abbott hates White People says:

      !) She is a racist. And automatically thinks everyone else is racist.

      2) Investigating a murder victim’s family is standard police procedure as most people who are murdered are victims of family or friends.

      3) Find dirt can easily be expressed as investigate background.

      Like

      • 156
        Realpolitik says:

        She also has a sense of irony in smearing the police on Twitter.

        She does not speak for her community, or the UK.

        Like

        • 167
          Do ya wan' rice 'an pe as wid dat, sista? says:

          Or anything that does not have a menu and free delivery, 24/7.

          Like

    • 154
      Bob Fleming says:

      Why are you not surprised Diane?

      Like

    • 158
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Abbott – mouth in overdrive, brain in neutral. As usual.

      Like

  44. 145
    Here we go again says:

    Re your reference to 80% of hacking not done the hacks

    This seems to be another massive coverup

    Expose the criminality of the lawyers and co

    Especially those using the Murdoch defence

    “We did not know ”

    or “we did not have sex with that woman”

    If they did not know, they should not fucking well have been using private “investigators”

    And how did these lawyers think all this confidential information was obtained FFS?

    Like

    • 155
      Jack says:

      If 80% of the hacking was not done by journalist, who were operating industrially

      Then the British haching industry must be truly massive and put NSA/GCHQ in the fooking shade

      We can joke about this, but it is criminality gone wild

      Like

      • 159
        Realpolitik says:

        Phone hacking was a front for intelligence services hacking.

        Straw man twist on plausible deniability with bait and switch.

        Triple-X backfired.

        Like

  45. 151
    Staff says:

    Move along now. There’s Nothing funny to see here.

    Like

  46. 157
    gramma says:

    Not content with filling the blog with extreme academic thinking I am now subjected to a cartoon of Schrötedingie’s caterpillar.
    Are there no depths this poster will not employ.
    Today the cartoon, tomorrow the world?
    This blog is tanking.

    Like

  47. 172
    Davick Cameregg says:

    Build-a-burger with sardines

    Like


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VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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