June 13th, 2013

Patten’s DCMS Anguish

Things must be bad for the increasingly troubled Department for Culture Media and Sport when a loathed Chairman of the BBC has to ride to your defence. Chris Patten told a Press Gallery lunch that the department must not be scrapped, despite the Olympics being over. Since then Maria Miller has driven press regulation into a brick wall and their only other significant project – broadband – is being rolled out at dial-up speed. Patten’s hand wringing will do little to convince Tories that scrapping the department is a bad idea.


  1. 1
    mad, swivel-eyed loon says:

    Another Common Purpose stooge.

  2. 2
    Maurice Minor says:

    Is this the C*NT with 12 jobs?

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Would you like to see my bellend?

  4. 4
    Tomorrows World says:

    The only good Beeboid is a dead Beeboid

  5. 5
    mad, swivel-eyed loon says:

    Maria Miller is also a Common Purpose Stooge.

    Google for links if you need confirmation of either.

  6. 6
    Havocman says:

    Good, scrap it and save some money. If Patten is in favour it must be shit.

  7. 7
    Winston. says:


    Action This Day.

    Close the Dept. of Culture Media & Sport immediately.

    You won’t of course, because you are a weak useless incompetent tosser.

  8. 8
    Amy 9 3/4s says:

    You are a Lib Dem and I claim my spends.

  9. 9
    Fat useless one-eyed sociopath from Kwir Koddy says:

    By 2015 I think I’ll have moved up the table to the second worst PM this country has ever had.

  10. 10
    Nick Cleggover says:

    I do not need diversity training. I know exactly what a good shag looks like.

  11. 11
    Owen Jones says:

    BBC smothers debate, distorts and corrupts politics and turns a democracy into a 1 party state by forcing politicians 2 dance 2 its tune.

  12. 12
    Much ado about nothing says:

    I really do not see how it is the government’s (taxpayers) job to put speedy broadband into remote places. I realise politicians think it is something they can do but do the people who choose to live in the boonies really expect or want video on demand?

  13. 13
    This Fat'un says:

    I thought this one up over my three hour lunch. I cannot imagine a world without the BBC.

  14. 14
    Anon......but Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    yes go on Dithering Dup*licous Deck*chair Dave just scrape this Dept & save
    some Tax Payers cash plus put Bud*da Fang Pang out to grass……sooner rather than later……

    If you won’t we will….!!!

  15. 15
    They don't believe their own hype says:

    If the BBC is so good, then they will have no problems raising revenue with pay per view will they.

  16. 16
    Mrs Jones says:

    You’re home early from school today, Owen.

  17. 17
    Sir William Waad says:

    It ought to be called “The Department for Piddling Away Money on Apects of Culture and Sport that We in Shoreditch Happen to Like While Interfering With and Generally Manking up Everything Else.”

  18. 18
    The BBC says:

    If you don’t let us dominate the broadcast media we shall release the Darleks!

  19. 19
    John Tandy says:

    It should go….

  20. 20
    London Centric Government is not Britain says:

    FFS. Not only is the BBC paid for by taxation (the licence is classed as tax by law) the crazy politicians now want the taxpayer to pay sheep farmers’ broadband so that they can watch the iplayer. What politicians do not realise is that sheep farmers have not got the s[pare time or the inclination to watch the iplayer anyway.

  21. 21
    Borris says:

    So it was you looking through the keyhole at No. 10 a few weeks ago.

  22. 22
    Ed Miliband says:

    Please, please don’t scrap sport. my beloved Tottenham Hammers would not be able to survive in the 3rd divion if the FIA didn’t get a subsidy for the Carling blue label paint top trophy.

  23. 23
    Dalek says:

    Edukashun under NuLabour, tut, tut.

  24. 24
    What the BBC won't tell you says:

    Miller was only put into the job because she was prepared to take gayers weddings through Parliament. Christian Mr Hunt had refused to do so.

  25. 25
    Witty Moniker says:

    DCMS is dead already – the Treasury want their office space back.

  26. 26
    shittoryscum says:

    I can’t understand why they don’t just scrap this government (joke) altogether – there’ll be no country left by the time they’ve finished

  27. 27
    Danny Boyle says:

    I’m busy working on a new movie called Slumdog Millionaire II – It’s set in the NHS where, every day, children and old people get to bounce on their beds whilst receiving the best health-care in the world. Nobody ever dies and all the patients go on to make a full recovery. This new movie is fully financed by the BBC and will only be shown on the NHS channel which we call ‘Casualty’. All the nurses outfits will have angel wings as they are so caring and passionate, the doctors do a 70 hour week and volunteer to work weekends for free! –

    I must go now as the local Shaman has just entered my hut with another bag of Khat!

  28. 28
    sheepR-US says:

    bahhhh bahhhhh bahhhhhhhhhhhhh

  29. 29
    shittoryscum says:

    posisbly better than none under the tories

  30. 30
    Ed Snowden says:

    Ok OK! I admit it!

    I made it all up to get in the pants of this dolphoin loving hippy chick who reads the grauniad.

    Is that so bad?

  31. 31
    David Camonan says:


  32. 32
    Ed Miliband says:

    The only way the phrase “education education education” could have been more of a lie would have been if Thatcher had stood for election on a platform of “mining, mining mining.”

  33. 33
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

  34. 34
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    +1 With bells on and take the utterly compromised DfID and DECC, with it.

    None, except for the pen pushers within, would even notice their closure.

  35. 35
    George Osborne says:

    Reading Men Only

  36. 36
    Owen Jones says:

    Friday tomorrow!
    Sweetie day!

  37. 37
    what a plonker. says:

    No, you were the worst by far.

  38. 38
    A Man From Slough says:

    What’s so good about men from Reading? Slough men are harder than you, posh boy.

  39. 39
    Hung Kong says:

    I could imagine a world without the likes of Fatty Pang anywhere near positions of power and influence. That world would be an infinitely better one, than we currently endure.

  40. 40
    what a plonker. says:

    Keep taking the tablets .

  41. 41
    what a plonker. says:

    Labour closed more pits than Margaret Thatcher ever did.

  42. 42
    Curly says:

    Yup, and having scrapped it, use that as the precedent to do likewise to Fatty Pang’s corrupt organisation.

  43. 43
    Curly says:

    .. and a lot richer too having stopped paying his battery of pensions and other perks.

  44. 44
    Hung Kong says:

    The BBC won’t mention the fact that she is Communist Purpose either. Coincidence?

  45. 45
    Curly says:

    … like the clappers?

  46. 46
    Elderly Labour Politician says:

    Shsssh Owen, that’s our ‘little secret’.

  47. 47
    O. Limpik-Bollux says:

    You should be locked inside Emergency Ward 10 – and the keys thrown in the river.

  48. 48
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Don’t forget until last year a Hunt was in charge

  49. 49
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Mrs Jones, Owen is still unable to spell two, Mr Gove says he must be able to spell two!

  50. 50
    Peter Martin says:

    The friend of my what is what again?

    This may explain why the DCMS seems to be pulling a BBC Complaints and refusing to talk… about BBC Complaints in hope that it may go away. As policy.

    Ironically, that is exactly what the BBC was trumpeting Lloyds doing…oo… yesterday. Like it was a very. bad. thing.

    But then, it was a different time.

    Presuming DCMS does go the way of the Dodo, despite Lord Patten’s desire to see a compliant notional oversight body remain, given his avowed preference for no one around to hold the BBC to account on anything, might we at least hope what comes next may actually have some clout in reining them in on what they say, do or spend?

    Because between McAlpine, Savile, Help for Heroes, 28Gate and that there £100M+ flushaway they just managed, on top of a few billion’s worth of real estate Monopoly board shuffling that contributes to programming very little, when it comes to ensuring the best use is made of licence fee extortees’ money… they are pretty pants.

    Might be nice to have someone to refer to when the BBC gets back after a year to say they have had a word with themselves and are comfortable in the belief that they get it about right. Then bans anyone who may feel that is hardly persuasive in face of facts.

  51. 51
    Peter Martin says:

    The Greeks had a word for it… and it isn’t democracy.

    And by funny coincidence, what was it just happened to their version of the BBC?

  52. 52
    Alex Slalomed says:

    There will always be a BBC after Scottish independence, the Balamory Broadcasting Corp. that is!

  53. 53
    the poor bloody tax-payer says:

    the dep’t’s name is an embarrassment:

    your journey starts with the pretence of CULTURE takes either a right or left turn through the MEEDJAhadeen (either way its downhill fast!) and you end up in the crooked drain of ignorance, exhibitionism and fetishism that is SPORT


  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Remote places like Birmingham where BT has sued the European Commussion for ruling that an the council to do so with a consortium of local businesses was not state aid. Of Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire – where firms in the PM’s own constituency cannot get boradband that is fit for purpose.

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    But promote Maria Miller for making a good fist of sorting out the mess left to her because everyone had focussed on the Olympics and Leveson and left the rest of DCMS to rot. Maybe after merging the Broadband rump with DECC, a department in equal chaos after the collapse of the energy policy bequeathed to it by Ed Milliband and Transport, in free fall with the logjams over HS2 and Thiefrow as an infrastucture department because, to paraphrase Mrs Thatcher: ask a man to do something and he makes a speach. Ask a woman and she does it.

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